The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Fate of DJ Lou's Toes

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

DJ Lou gives a health update on the fate of his toes, a special needs kid rap battles, and Jay will never become friends with Fat Joe!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Just finished icing my asshole. Share called. SJP says. It's a little old horse face secret. Pack your duke or full of ice.

Nums it up. Anywho. Neenie from Real Housewives of Atlanta is being such a chwot with her contracts. But anywho. Who's that boy over by that tree? Be right back, journal. Welcome to the Bond Fire, on Series XM, Fact of Talk 103. I'm Dan Soder and that brilliant actor is Big J. Ocarson doing a Randall Andy off the top of the dome

since we're not in studio today. It's called the dome. Freestyle in the end, Randall Andy. We're all in our respective places, DJ Lou, Jacob Down in Florida, Christine, back where she belongs and our black king, the black tiger, Lewis. John. So, I have it.

Hendrix, come on the mic. You know, do some, get some Hendrix drops going. I'll give you this baby in the world, dude. It's so funny when you watch your friends pick up their like small babies and their kids just kick. Is there a moment, Jay, your daughter's older now? Is there a moment when they get bigger bigger when you're used to picking them up Where they finally kick you in the chest? Is there ever a moment with a little fuck?

I'm too big for this now I pick her up and she kicks me in the dick. Yeah, you're are will but you pick her up a like Zeus and no holds bar Just by her face by the way, there will be an age where you'll pick them up and they'll kick you in the dick Yeah, a very real thing was that four five, my guess? Yeah. I think so. Um, I know, I know Jacob, but before we go, we know, we know you love dancing on lose grave. Let me get the run down. No, no, no, that one. I do want to hear about blue. Yeah It's got a huge Exploration point next to it. It's the only topic you sent solo. So why is that so important Jacob? I Thought it was important and then I put the others underneath

No, dude. I'm checking the chat right now. You're all at home home, and I'll tell you right now, Jacob, you're fully sh- I put your topic next in. No. Well, you want it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right, so.

Okay, and Jacob's defense, let me just say, when you click it, it is a full run there. But it looked like- I'd defense. It just looked like DJ. On the screen while you were just asking for that, like, get to it already. That's what it looked like. Oh, no. you were just asking for that like get to it already That's what I like

You don't get what we only saw the first sentence. We don't and the spaces after the first sentence looks like it's all there was there Pretty good. That's why it's faces it look like you were just like fuck everything else is lose foot gonna fall off or not? I Think we should get that update now. It's been teased too much. Can't go anything else. We've done we've teased that more than we've teased the gang affiliation with Al-Bazaar. Show us that eight-toe smile. Footwatch with Lewitsky. The three-toed Lew. What's going on with it Lew? How you feeling? What's going on? What's going on?

Blackfoot. The doctor said I have nothing to worry about diabetes and my feats, he's gonna be fine. Yeah. Oh. Oh. She didn't fall in stars when I couldn't make a killing. Did it not a dime but I always had a vision.

Always had high, high, high hopes. High, high hopes for living. Did it know how bad I always had a vision always had Didn't know how I always had a feeling always gonna be I I Oh Sandal season right now my question would be what was the problem? It's exactly what I said he said it's a bunch of things. I don't drink enough water I eat like I'm a fucking 23 year old trucker Too much cholesterol so he gave me some pills for that.

He just said, my circulation isn't good, and I got quit smoking. He was more worried about my lungs than my toes. Yeah, me too, dude. Me too. Watch your guys do it in 2023. I keep staring at you. 22, I mean.

Thank you, I'm gonna use it here for a year. I was like, for sure. Yeah, damn, for sure, dude. Sign me up. I got that book. I keep seeing that book next to my bed. It's right next to my bed. What the easy way to quit smoking?

Yeah. Yeah. I read it. I read it except for the last chapter where you actually quit. So funny. Because he tells you to keep smoking until you read the last chapter. Yeah. That's so funny.

It took me three reads. It took, I liked three different tries. I tried it, tried it, that's so funny. It took me three reads. It took, I like three different tries. I tried it, tried it, and then tried it. It was quitting drinking that got it to stick. I asked the doctor, is there some kind of new drug that I could get like Chantix, Side Chantix? That'll make me, you know, help me hate nicotine. He's like, now you just got to fucking quick guy. Damn, a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a new- I want a It's in like Tony Danza right now, Jacob. My feet are fine. When you're thundered. I'm happy to hear that. I want to know what your plan of attack is now. Nothing.

He's got cholesterol pills. Yeah, dude. He drinks diet coke. What else do you want? Yeah, he's drinking Coke Zeroes. Look, you can't see my feet, but I'm dancing. Oh. Oh my god, fill the density in those feet.

Damn, fill the blood flow. Oh, oh my god. Feel the density in those feet. Damn. Feel the blood flow. Oh Who's the boss? Oh Me and Danza that's who oh my god. I Did not know how you excelled a tap. Yeah, was it Juliard? Have you been a jazz tap head all this time? I had no idea how funny would be if you walked into a jazz bar And just saw whiskey fucking tearing it up, jazz tapping? You're like, dude, I started drinking again and we'll get to that, but more importantly,

I walked into a bar and Lou was crushing it, tap dancing. People in jazz tapping school, man, God, they were annoying. Yeah. Girls that were in dance, like always, were like rehearsing it in class, sort of, like in their chairs

literally in their chair and you're like all right none of this is that important you see that now that's what's gross about now is you see people on the train like trying to do tick-tock dances and as they're sitting there on the train and you're like please don't do that involving you they're like oh now they're like sitting down watching you. And then they're like pop, pop it. Move it. Shibberly pop it.

The Zabberly. Seven, the dad, dad, dad. Two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, three, two, three, two, three, two, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, I'm gonna die. Take us home, Lou. That's enough. I can't take it. God, Dan's is talented.

Check off. What a talent. Lou, were you, the second he said that, did you light up a cigarette? Was it like your feet are fine? Yeah. You're like, sssssssssssssss things to worry about have ginger virus. This sucks getting old Yeah, what did you invite us when your gum's received? Wait, so your doctor told you that or your dentist told you that well

I want to dentists too, and that was another pile of bad news. Oh my god. My gums are receiving for sure Let's just get new teeth, Lou. Don't get the new teeth, dude. You're gonna look weird. Oh, yeah, there's damn sure kids. Let damn bully into his life. You're right. You know what you're right. If you want rich boss teeth, go get rich boss teeth. Dude, let's go get rich boss teeth. Let's get a higher cheekbones. Let's get our fupas fucking sucked out. Damn, dude. I don't think I'm right. You mean you and you were coming back like the barbarian brothers. I can't wait. Honestly, I can't wait to be sexually attracted to both of you. I can't wait either. And I'm also just now finding out and hurt to know that you are currently not sexually

attracted to me. That hurts. So, I never thought you were, but finding out that you're not is hurtful. Did you say I don't know why? Did you say I don't know why? I have no idea why that. It really hit me when he said it. He goes, I'd love to be attracted both you goes all right, dude

Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. I'm such a fuck sorry. I'm such an eyesore right now. You son of a bitch Oh my sweet sensitive J. You took that wrong I was saying with your work with when you get your work done and I believe no, no Slime is this weekend for me. Yeah, no you have tons tons of slimes. By the way, you can't eat in. No, it's all take out. Perfect. And oh man, I really hope I have no press. I did press when I was here.

I have did you. I, what you mean, call? I have no, do I have press Christine? I have, I have written one joke for the roast of Lewis Jay Gomez. Everyone else is using writers. I don't know how everyone can do that. That's so weird to me.

It's just weird. I tried it once and I did. I got someone help me out. I got someone help me out. I'm not good at roasts. I just don't want to go. Sorry, I got some jokes on. I don't want to help me punch you.

I don't want to perform somebody else's joke. Oh man, you're too honest to the craft. I don't want to punch you to up. I don't want to perform somebody else's joke Oh, man, you're too honest to the craft every single other person doing it every single other person is that's true Yeah, yeah, I know that for a fact the funny story is Bobby bullied Joe lists writer out of helping Joe It's helping Joe and then Bobby bully that guy into helping Bobby instead That's really funny and that Joe's like I'm fucked You know the guy was gonna help me. I was like, dude, that's so funny What a Bobby move? Loose anything. What a sign. That's a right. I like why?

Yeah, they just want to you know what I mean I'm honestly The reason I didn't want to do the roast and Christine can vouch for me the second I saw was announced the second I saw was announced on the lineup I was like well Lewis is gonna bully all of us and to do an a roast and I had no interest I had to do interest because I don't want to sit down writing roast jokes is a hard thing and It's gonna be my whole weekend not doing shows It's like that on really even I don't want to spend that much time on that I'm gonna skankank fist to have fun. I'm not going to do it for it's for jokes for like one thing only But that you use once and then discard but then Lewis called me and guilted me into it and then I called my buddy It was like let's can you help me out?

Because that'll make it easier your buddy. Let me think do you want do you want the name of my other buddy? I think you should call. I know it is. I know it is. I know you got. We tell me if I'm right. Yeah. DSG.

No. No, even though we're working on that show together, no, I didn't get DSG. Oh, I know. You went my Lawrence. Yeah. Yeah. You went to a pro. Yeah. Fuck that. I'm gonna hit her. I'm gonna burn my Lawrence. Yeah. Yeah. You went to a pro.

Yeah. Fuck that. I'm gonna hit her. I'm gonna hit her. I'm gonna burn all you guys down. You're gonna force me to do a roast, then I'm gonna make sure that I get... I'm gonna force you anything. A quad, not you.

No, I'm not, I'm looking at Christine. I'm looking at the fucking... Christine, you're gonna burn you down. We're burning you down. Jay, I'm almost going, I don't think I'm touching you. I don't think I'm touching you, Shainer List. You have to. You have to.

I lose, Joe. I got some good Lewis ones. I don't have any. That's the ones I worked on. I just wanted to do Lewis. Lewis, Zach, and then the people that I'm not that close with, so I could say the meanest things. Yeah, David Lucas, Tony. Yeah, I already got him.

Clif. Yeah, I've not I've won joke about Tony Hinchclif that I thought of the second I looked at the list and then I've never looked at the list again. I have had no time literally. Yeah, I mean, there's no time that I could have spent better doing that like at all. I'm excited for Skankfix next year where it's, uh hey guys we're gonna have a day of all my friends move Natalie so it's a pretty fun event yeah you guys are looking to move Natalie Cuomo starring Lewis and all of his friends that have to do stuff that they don't want to do but doing it because their friends with Lewis we're having a short story competition this year so you have to write a short story 30 pays all yeah

single spaced uh that's Lewis in a nutshell for you where he's like See you have to write a short story 30 pays all yeah Single spas Spaces That's Lewis in a nutshell for you where he's like I'm gonna throw myself a roast Hey, all these really busy people roast me. Sorry Lewis. We're real busy. I don't care roast me Because if he said anybody hey guys throw me a roast No One of us would be like I don ain't throwing your rose through it. Run a room and do that shit.

I tried to avoid a rose at all costs. I had said nothing but no to all of them. Well you did a big J-rest it was great. Big J and then honestly Kevin Brennan because it was easy to write jokes because I could just be like, you fucking asshole. That's why I've done all I've done friends on this roast that I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. Yeah, that's why it was a lot of work, but I think it's gonna be a really fun roast. Yeah, Ari's on it. Tony, I just I have high hopes for this event. I think it's gonna go off. no no all your heart works gonna fucking it's gonna be a great roast i'm just saying that when you watch it everybody

give me the space and understanding that i'm the only true comedian who chose to use his own to just know anyone that watches that that i don't give a fuck about any roasts i give zero care you're thinking you're doing the right thinking you're i find it you're gonna find it master battori I find it to be the dunking of it's the dunk competition of comedy no one who's good at roast very very rarely or anyone that good at roast tend to be good at stand-up comedy outside of Greg Gerald though all burn the whole system better say you're right or son

My say your writer son my lord my glon's doesn't stand up anymore you don't know how to know he doesn't do stand up he retired from doing stand up why he's writing on the shows where sweaty hands getting the microphone short circled too many mics that's that always only writing on it okay great so yeah he's only writing and i was like and he was like heard you're doing the

Lewis roast and i was like yeah you want to help me and he's like yeah And I was like and he was like heard you're doing the Lewis roast and I was like, yeah, you want to help me? And he's like, yeah, We're fucking let's go Oh that autism just points him right the right to right. I mean my god, dude. It's a laser focus like I've never seen He pointed out things to my friends. I'd never noticed when we were talking. Oh, dude speaking of autism Christine. Could you bring up this video? The Dave Temple showed me this the other day and when he showed to me I was like I don't know what you're talking about And then he showed to me and I was like oh, I remember this video. I don't think we've ever talked about this

heavily Guys the crew maybe you should remember if the Eli Porter do you know that is? It's the oh you told me you told me to just I told you about it. Yes, I'm so remember it So let me give you a head Story look behind this video if you look up Eli port Eli versus envy The background of this video from what I understand is it's school announcements Yeah, okay, it's school. I've never seen this. I've absolutely not seen this. Okay, it's school announcements are going off. And they asked if they could do like a rap battle in the morning announcements. And they said,

yeah, I guess the school said, yes, just obviously no cursing them, nothing like that. And then for some reason, the two people that are doing it is Envy, who is a not very talented Normal kid who just wraps like you know as any shitty kid in your classroom would and he's going against Eli Porter who I believe is autistic And it's just one of the it's Listen, I'm gonna tell you right now if you're listening and you're talking about punching down We're laughing at him, but he gives you a lot to laugh at. It's um it's so funny that also the meanest person in the world maybe is envy because envy goes in right away on his freestyle battle on poor Eli Porter, but Eli Porter comes back fucking swinging. Supposed to be no cursing and No, uh, what you know, I guess the probably no fighting or anything like that

Just go ahead morning announcements. There's a couple things this video aside from the wrapping that are a little questionable For some reason the host of the morning announcements At one point just has his arms around some other guy's neck like but like in like it's my boyfriend. It's very odd You'll see. And this is for a high school? High school morning event. High school? High school.

I can't wait till I go to high school. What's up Marvo? Your boy Marvo, and I'm back with Ryan to have an arm like freestyle battle. We have two new contestants, South Mariah and your boy Eli from class 2005. We also have the bus, Jonathan Hodges, J.Dub, Jeremy Walker, and Steven Jackson, action Jackson. Why are they standing like that?

I don't know. This looks like a family portrait. It's extremely bizarre way to just hang out with your buddies. Yeah. If you were doing this, me then, as not a joke, I'd be like, is everything cool? So we're not, so you're doing it. You don't want me, you don't want me to incorporate that in our hangs?

No, buddy, if you incorporate, if you do this to me, not only will I also put my hands on your hands and hold it there and lean into it, because we're laughing at the situation. This is just guys like all right let's watch these two guys rap battle. I'm gonna put my hands right over your heart. I want zero jokes when I do that. I want you to feel me protecting you. You want to play this game of chicken with me dude? I'll fucking wait you out. I'll make I'll make I'll make you say you while you're doing the gross thing.

Nothing gay about it's called supporting your boy Just the fucking yeah, put on a cuck sorry. I'm a support scarf And you're gonna love this must snug on you everyone here's gonna also why don't you call Kurt for the Lewis roast are you crazy? Everyone here's gonna also why don't you call Kurt for the Lewis roast are you crazy? You're best friend. Yeah, I don't know the great is the guy that wrote the roast jokes for Patrice O'Neal Yeah, somebody's already probably called on a number. Oh, Jay No one can reach in through his autism like you can it's you're not wrong about that But the thing is I just like like Kurt writes for car like I don't want I don't like it I'd rather have listen I might come in reality.

I might come in with two jokes per person. You're also doing, when you do do it, you're fucking awesome. That Voss roast was all you and that was fucking great. That's what I'm saying. If I do two jokes per person and Pepper Lewis with a couple, I'm good. They don't want us to go very long.

There's a lot of people on it. So it's like they want everybody to, you think me out of five minutes. Remember when Vecchio and just did fucking 18 minutes? Dude, when I wrote for that roast, he came out and he was like, I'm printing out my roast jokes and I was in our kitchen writing and the amount of pages I heard printed out, I went,

that's not all for the roast, is it? And he went, yeah, it is it anyway yeah it is and he said and if they like me I'm just gonna go through it I'm gonna go over the light because I spent this time writing this so I'm gonna do all the jokes. It was legit 17 minutes. Yeah 17 minutes too. At one point I got angry with him. Oh was like, oh, the whole day is was getting I was like, yo, buddy. Okay, we all are, it's like, we're all supposed to. I think everyone was slated out for about four to six. One, two, three, that's enough for me. Yeah, Bing bang boom. I'm outsk. Yeah. You're right. Maybe I should just shorten it. Just do Lewis. Oh, man. I think you hit everybody with a little

It's good. That's a good It's good strategy. Well, it's gonna have you nice tragic. You're right. You know what dude? It made me realize. I think I'm out. Who made that noise? Yeah. Oh okay, that was fucking. That was damn Lou.

That was wonderfully timed. That was perfect. That's not that real. I'm a true artist. Yeah. Dude, that's a fucking fan. That's maybe one of the most useful, functional, great drops I've ever had.

That's going to, without a doubt, I'm always going to check down to see if that was real or not. Yeah, it's because the way that plays, it's always going to be on something that's going to make you go, what the fuck's up, Jacob? And you're like, oh, oh, I'm the one who's the hardest. Yeah. Yeah. That caught me. I got an extra emotional reaction out of me.

Like, what's that about? I am I am kidding, but Jesus Christ. Yeah. I mean, it was clearly a joke. I mean, most of this is clearly a joke, but then you doing that was very funny. Okay, go ahead. Okay, go ahead, put it in. Yeah. Just saying, y'all already know the rules, so we ain't gonna waste no time on that. But look, y'all have 45 seconds, please stop when I tell you, or else you will be disqualified.

All right, let's get it going. We gonna start names off with you, boy right here, envy. Let's go. envy. What's charisma? Oh, I think I remember the kid on the left, but just the shorter video of it. What charisma. I think I remember the kid on the left, but just the shorter video of it.

Yeah, yeah. So we never did on the show. We never did on the show, but I remember this video. It's from 07. Oh, yeah, I remember this kid. Yo, the boy has got you talking, cripple. My advice to utilize is to start rapping. Stick the walk and cripple.

Young cat freestyle so high. I've been up on the blocks, never selling rice, but I still got what I got. Squat up like little weezy, get busy, off the flow so you can say I'm off the knee. And he's like listening to that rap battle thing where he's like listening, but he's also special needs. So he's like, I'm also thinking about different colors. I'm thinking about why I can't eat play though. Who's a documentary on I'm going to watch dude I don't think I have this kid rules.

Just get rules. And these garbage and comes with straight cripple talk right away. I mean Yeah Money Eli Portram Okay, that was pretty good Marvo.aux, what do you think? We'll put this up. I'm gonna make some of that. Eli.

From the classic 2005. Sure. Let's go. Eli. Eli. I got one question, man. Tell me who next? This nigga's salt like nigga who's just getting the best.

See y'all the best, ma'am. I did it Yeah, you let the beat let the beat for you he does he comes back Huh he comes back Awkwardly Who thought this is a good idea? Little downtime. Okay, thinking about it. It's all right.

Planned your attack. He's getting his fur, we ain't put that beat to drop again. Okay. Stop, stop, stop. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Eli. Give her a tool. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yo, see I'ma let you know who the best by the hour It's like Rosie O'Donnell at a bicycle by the shower Today's not me, man, I keep it for real Look at this dinner, man, we dinner like real see I'm the best, I told you that This dude like that he ran in front of the cat Now I messed up but I'ma stay on top They told me, man, but know, I'm never gonna fly

Look at this dude. He needs to stay in the shade And no wonder why it came out he already in the gate parade Thank you man. I got you roasted like ever y'all know for my rhymes. They straight up clever Yeah, I mean he's not the bad better than the other kid Yeah, all right He said I for I said freaking like now you didn't Did he job in N words? Super homophobic shit right is a rat. You don't fuck

Sorry, that's what happens when you try to I'm the best my You don't try to censor Eli Towards the end he started talking into his hand without the microphone Here's I'm that's that's the sign of a true artist not I'm not doing roast jokes by yourself. It's talking to your hand when you have a mic in the other one Yeah, you're not wrong That radio oh damn dude're radio was so good. I did one of those things where you have a little library. I just had a fun Dave Temple came over and we did a little bit of back and forth YouTube stuff.

You can almost see my history here that I showed him, DeWonja, who else is to blame. Man, I gotta tell you. Ooh, the, the, the, the simple, the simple, the simple, the simple, the simple, that showed up in San Diego with the January as a detective shirt this week. Hell yeah. Put it in my head.

Her dances in the background of that are their own just single watch through of funny. The way she did, the dance never goes with the music happening. So funny. God damn it, She is just I Argue that you're very talented to be that void of talent. Yes, you know, I mean like wow like she's so void of talent And she's and yet she gets a music video out and a movie directed somehow she gets it done, which is a talent

She has a movie coming out. It's like what is there a trail? Oh buddy There's a trailer and it's a doozy She has a new movie coming out. It's like what is there a trip to oh buddy There's a trailer and it's a doozy But uh walkers team brings it out. Let me tell you another funny thing me and Fetcho are boys. This guy is synced up so I go to the last night wasted more money again on a fucking game that was boring from open to finish last night wasted more money again on a fucking game that was boring from open to finish. Nuggets lost too, so it's all a wash. Fuck it. Just watched the Sixers, they just gave up, they went down 17 in the second quarter,

just had a 17 point gap pretty much the entire game. It just went like shot for shot after that. I mean, it does suck because you were there. At least when I had to watch Nicoliokitch bump knees with Rudy Gaubert, I didn't have to pay for it. Yeah. So but across, you know, it's the next game. So across the stadium, which next fan, nicks are good, man. Show the fuck up. Show the fuck up for your team, man. It was goofy empty and that empty, but I mean, like not full. I'll tell you, man, a lot of New York sports fans bug me. I was saying that shit about you know the giants like one mixer good man R.T. Barrett uh Mitchell Robinson is good uh

Randall is fucking real they have to get their benches good. They can't walkers pumped Yeah, Kimber Walker was fucking uh Like he was great last night. See other good to you about almost like like i would like to go back in most of the embarrasses how small the tent is very very bizarre but anyway sitting across the court spiky obviously

mark ronson uh... fat joe and uh... dj premier our buddy from dj premier buddy from a serious PDR's buddy from up a serious more than a buddy he's a fan of yours I would say he's the best of the best I can call him as a buddy is because I'm a fan of his since I'm a teenager so like you guys look at you guys

just DJ premiere dude gangster the wick um but DJ PDR was sitting in there. So I, I was trying to DM them on the thing which he wrote back, or three in the morning. It was too late by that point. But Fat Joe's and across and I was like, Oh man, I go it's so funny. I was like, if I can get attention, I want to tell him what just happened with me and Fat Joe. DJ premiere. Yeah, oh, on the airplane, absolutely. Yeah, yeah I was like, oh, that'd be fun. And then he never responded within the time of the game at least and

When we walked out of the stadium there was fucking I met somebody before the game by using the landmark of There's a white guy out here There's a white guy out here rapping with a top hat on into a microphone. I was like, I was like, I was like, meet me over by him. And we got met over there. After the fucking show, it was like pouring rain.

So me and Isabella just dipped out and kind of started walking right away. I mean, it couldn't have been more than minutes behind us. Fat Joe came out and grabbed that guy's microphone and just started rapping on the fucking street. Oh no,, no, no, no. I was like, oh, another opportunity here. I'll send you the video. It's fucking so annoying. Oh, man, you and you. Me and Fat Joe, you're too much of a nut. You're too much of a nut. You're too wrong, dude. You're too ships in the night. You're right, you're exactly right. Damn. Someone's

and the guy who sent to me filmed it himself and he goes it's your guy damn can you imagine if you would let you join murder squad oh it's so fucking funny how do I I'm gonna stay because I screwed up terror squad one time I will always refer to it as murder squad so what do I do here I don't want to it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.

I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I could tell you what it is. Can you go to what is New York? It's a Instagram page I'll get this you'll see some of it just such rap on the streets

When the hell am I gonna get to do my big pun line from that song twins for? Will it ever? Why did I memorize those lyrics if it's never gonna happen? I mean, you put the fuck. Because you're a true artist and you have to flow in your heart? Why go to med school if you're not gonna be a doctor? It's just ridiculous. Why take that?

L-sats if you're not gonna be fucking put in creeps and jail. I don't tread in that academic world I consider myself more of an arts farts. Yeah, dude. Are you? Yeah, I think that drop is That drops the best dude that that might be up there with oh Yeah Here's that Joe some of a bitch I mean just hearing that voice has got to freak you out Oh me and Isabella at this point, uh, stuished soaked, uh, in that rain soaking where you're like, you give up completely on worrying about not being wet anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah. You just live in it. You're like, that is what we're

here. We're wet. That would be pretty cool though. If you're like leaving a sixers game and there's just a guy outside doing you know like jokes Oh it would have been a nice little part of my egg and you're like oh shit Yeah, it would have been a nice little parting prize after watching the Sixers get beat for a I don't like wasting money dude It's I should invest take this money out go to games and invest in crypto. Yeah, dude. You'd be a billionaire I know that I'm on billions and I know how billionaires are made three biggies in a three biggies in a row I was probably on like a 12 game win with the sixers streak and Eagles actually I just happened to catch cuz like you know I didn't go to a ton of games by catch wins

Mostly and then do I have just been on a fucking clunker of a streak right here game seven hurt first game of the Eagle season and then fucking this game I mean you're going to him which is extra tough even when you're a fan and you watch a team and they lose and you feel like it's because you Love them that's hard, but you're paying money to go see it. So you're like oh Lose my hand. I'm feeling like that. I wonder what fat Joe paid for his tickets zero Feed on a court, dude. You wonder what fat Joe paid for his tickets. Zero. Feed on the court, dude. Feel cool. Do you know what I became consumed with there?

Consumed with. This is fun. The blimps that pass out tickets? No, the machine gun T-shirt gun. No. Yeah. So I'm looking at that cross row. The same way I do it a sixers game.

And I'm like, I need that front row to make sense to me generally. It doesn't make sense more than in New York You get the SNL people you get celebrities. Yes, so is it gonna actress like me? It was an actress Mark Ronson the DJ from all these they were showing all these people right Three of the giants were there and all that stuff that's fucking great and what I just couldn't get away is completely diagonal from the court for me. I just on the front floor tickets, I just swore.

The guy who was in the front row was a guy I just see in my building. And he's a Turkish guy who tells me that he moved to this country to do comedy. When his study works in like toilets or something and he is ready any you know he speaks frankly he's like he's very rich he's like he's very very very very he lives in the penthouse at this place damn what does that look like I don't know but he invited me and Christine up this Saturday I can't

go but to a dessert tasting whoo but uh way, I thought it was him in the front row, and I was consumed with it because I was like, I know this guy is only here because he's rich. He's not a fan of either of these two. You know what I mean? It was what it was. It's the person I thought was him. It wasn't him.

Turns out. But the person I thought was him was talking the whole time. And I was just consumed with them talking and the kid that was playing with a fucking action figure in his hands shout out action figures while he was next to his dad or whatever in the front row shout out guys dude shout out taking your guys to a sports game smoking hot chicks that are on their phone the whole time one I've ever seen pop I always think about that when I look at,

when I watch boxing, you'll watch like a big fight and you'll see boxing is weird because the earlier, it's just like UFC. The earlier in the card, there's no one there. So like, when you look at the boxing fights on a paper view, the early fights, you'll see people and seats close to the ring that give a shit about boxing.

They're like highly interested in boxing, watching these guys fight. And then as the main event comes closer and closer and finally get to the main event, you just see old rich men and young hot women that don't give a fuck about fighting. And you just watch these guys give each other brain damage and these women are just sitting there like texting,

being like, I don't know I think nobody was gonna be closed after this and this guy was like I won't be able to know where I parked my car Ever again because of that 11th round Yeah, yeah, that's it. There's my memory of parking spots. Yeah, I'm gone. I'm gone, dude No, my thing is almost when I pay to go sit at the game. I find myself all I am now is consumed Well, let me say I'm consumed with I'm consumed with I'm 40 I'm almost 44 right 43 Gonna be 44 in December break so I'm like How many years how many years how many is Christine? Please God tell me you sent that sound bar to dance house

You're a nightmare. You're a living nightmare. You're a living nightmare. I've never sent it I totally forgot my email that's myself to remind me too. Jesus. It's just so much assistant work for me nothing But Jay but Jay keep going because There's yeah, I don't want to get off the sports topic, but I'm consumed with something where I would sports to so I'm consumed with I'm sorry. I'm gonna be 44 years old and I'm like how long do I have to be? Don't look at there over 36. I thought thank you What do I have to accomplish do or get to the point where I am sitting every time I go feed on the court or some kind of like just

professional Or some kind of like just a professional hand out From the Eagles and the Sixers only particularly I don't so when I go I'm consumed I'm like I just it would mean Dude my face will look like a child's if I sat on that front row Let me if I got to give the ball back to fucking Joe and being big here you go Dude what yeah, so Jay I think we need to make that happen for you. But number two to make, to make hold up. I'm so in for it, we can all, but here's not.

No, no, no, no, no, no, you're missing the point. Because do you remember when we went to the 49ers Eagles game with Vecchio and Shane was gonna meet us there? Remember, this was like 2016. Kill him? Kill him. That was when they were kneeling for the anthem And everyone was like stand the fuck up stand the fuck up. I'm like, yeah, it's not that's not disrespectful

The anthem is screaming that every time I get every time a player got wrapped up by the 49ers got wrapped up by the Eagles You can go kill him kill him kill him But I don't know if you remember that but we got tickets from McDaniel for the game and the seats were awful. I remember the story exactly. I made me feel terrible. On the fourth level, and then we bought, we had to buy tickets. Let me tell you, that's what it is all the time. The handouts from the teams are very, very rarely good seats. There's seats, you get the seats in the place and the benefit is you get to come down on the field before the game, they kick you off before the game.

That's basically what this door is. So I'm saying hold on to the seats. I'm trying to ease your pain by telling you, there is no hand out that's court side that I know of. That doesn't go through like a much, I don't know, probably a lumenati hookup. Like, Amnit Shyamalanaman which arguably we can say

is better than perl jam now i'm kidding uh... so it's a lot of the pop back in the screen you said that usually i'd like better the program well you know it's hilarious i was going to go and i shaman who you arguably say is uh... more successful to me which i was that was the joke i was going to make

yeah i keep forgetting that counts constantly keep saying everyone could argue, but you can say it's better than Pearl Jam. It's a lot. What am I, ahhh! That drop's already in the Hall of Fame, dude. Damn, it's so great. Well, that's a year one.

That's, oh my god. But when I go, so, so, but M Night Shyamalan, I, my guess would be if he pays face value for his thing to they make sure he has those tickets Now here's the thing I will say I don't think that you're I don't think that you're in the mix or I showed him five tickets yesterday fat no fat Joting didn't that Joe in fact didn't even necessarily say I know it's gonna how it's turned didn't say he wanted to go to that game They call their they reach out to the people and they say like you want to cut they offer like tickets like courtside and they said you guys want to come so they can put them on the big screen and my

bet the PR department. The people that run the PR department for the team have all those tickets like the people that are on the team and play for the team. They're like I can get you in the building really but that's what it. No, you're absolutely agree with you. But you also you agree with you. But you have a valid argument of saying like you would love for the sixers to be like, hey big J's a filthy kid let's have him court side watching this game against the fucking Sure, right but I'm also saying I'd also would accept completely. Well dude fucking Matisse Thiebull is your boy.

So of course you get first tier tickets for free. That would be awesome also Yeah, I pay so much money for these tickets. It's retarded because I want to stick low when I go I want to enjoy it and if I'm at least able to financially I'm just like fuck a man to splurge But it's you know, it's not that it doesn't hit me But I'm like it's a splurge because I want to go enjoy it. And then when a fucking lose dude, Isabelle was making me laugh yesterday, she kept bringing it up. She goes, I will tell you the last two things we went to just seem like slam dunk wins like game seven in Philly against an inferior team. She was like, I just went there assuming like, oh, it's going to be so

cool to watch them go on to the next round of the playoffs. The thing. Yeah and she goes, and I just didn't think the next run he better from last year. So I was like, oh, this will be neat. Go watch the sixers run him up real quick. And then we just sit there for boring three quarters. Well, the thing that you hit that you're like, I can't stop thinking about is exactly what you're talking about. Like the very expensive seats are the closest, obviously. And so what I hate now is NFL games

when people score touchdowns or Tom Brady will take his hat and they'll give it to a kid that's like in the front row. And I'm always like, give the kids rich. Like give the kid, of course. Give the kid up at the top seat, the ball. Yeah. Oh yeah, so in the way. Like giving it to this rich kid's like, oh seat. The ball. Yeah. Oh yeah. So in the way.

Why are you giving it to this rich kid? Like, oh my god, he's sitting here every game. And I got a ball from my favorite player. That kid's probably throwing that. He's probably going to play with that ball. As opposed to a poor kid that would be like, I'm putting this in a case and I'm going to look at it every night. By the way, after the game last night,

I saw an adult with three T-shirts from the gun. And you were like dude come on dude Throw them the two other people. I mean you can ask right now Are you bringing home the shittiest quality for free fucking sure you think they're what do you think they're giving you a Calvin Klein? Yeah, I mean like that's not so awesome done Three lucky three. I mean like they're a minute there are pieces of shit They're they're awful teacher but this guy three of them. I'm like get over yourself to by the way I can't wait my dream and I it's never happened

I swear on my fucking life I would if I caught a t-shirt at a Nick Stadium or the Barclays Center. I'd say it's sending right I'm sending right back on the court I'm chucking it right back I don't want to I don't want your stupid other teams. Some, I saw people that were clearly sixers fans with those t-shirts in their hands. And you're like, wow guys, you need free shit. That's crazy. Fucking Nick shirt.

I've always felt that way. Why would you take, I'm going to the 49ers at Seahawks in December. And I'm like, if they shot at Seahawks in December and I'm like if they shot I'm getting out of my joke. Okay, well I was like I don't know I'm gonna go on SeatGeek I don't want to you know be up in the birds nest but if I caught a Seahawks SeatGeek just beat SeatGeek just bent me over a fucking stool for that six years game. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Fuck well I don't want to spend that much, but I would throw back a shirt. I want to fucking see Hawkshirt. Chuck, fucking. No, but the fun is trying to say, you can't, look, you could be a nice guy and throw it over your head to kids, which I think is what I have done in the past when I've been in the situation. But I want it to so bad, chuck it back.

The statement of like, I don't want your fucking shirt. M!