The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Festival & The Fishermen

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

Bobby performed at the Saratoga Springs Comedy Festival. This was the first year of the fest and the lineup of comedians was a little light. Ian Fidance and Chris O'Connor travel to the show in Bob's car and also go fishing with him. One of those guys is a master fisherman and it isn't Bobby. | Jacob spends his weekend getting close to God and talks about his father who was a real lady killer. | Jay's Philadelphia Eagles with the first game of the season and he's mildly excited about it. *To hear the full show go to www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Well, one of those things worked out. The Phila. Ooh, yeah. Yeah. I think it's free Palestine. It's working out, too. Space jamming.

Is Palestine not free yet? They want it. Okay, good, good, good. It's growing in numbers. Oh, good. Because of Voss. I think Voss is single-handedly helping all of that. What's up, everybody?

It's a Monday. It's the bonfire. We're matching Jacobs energy. That's our fault. We came in fucking low energy. I get it. I understand why the room is sulking is because the Eagles won, of course.

That's great news for me, but, of course, the Patriots, not only lost, but they're... All right. Looks like they have a fraudulent quarterback and A.J. Brown, your big acquisition from the Eagles out for at least four weeks.

Yeah. I know. Christine, that's not cool. You don't even like... Football. It's not cool. She doesn't even understand the game. You don't even understand what it is.

Barely understands the game still laughing, cackling at you. I don't know. I just don't understand. Black Lou, probably stayed up later than he wanted to last night, watching his team just not even have a shot. Getting decimated by the 9-11 hyped giants while Jacob sat at home, barely rooting for them. I was rooting for my team. Do you get hyped for the Giants? Yeah, but I have to admit, Lewis told me that the game was on.

Once I know it's on, I watch. Oh, my God. Well, then that is not a real big hyped Giants fan, Jacob. If you don't really have a week one Sunday night football, it's pretty crazy. Blackwood to tell you. I didn't like that the pet. There's nothing worse, though, than a guy who's not super into it, team wins. I bet even just seeing Jacob right there give, like, the fist pump of, like, the Giants did it

when he wasn't aware they were playing last night. yesterday? I would have checked. I'm just saying I spoke to him during the day and he told me it's the tonight game. Mm-hmm. What do you? Because I did watch all day. It tears you up, doesn't it?

It's pretty annoying. It tears you up. He barely knows what's going on in the game. And we won anyway. And you won. We. Fuck out of here. We.

Damn. Don't question me on players. What do you, like, you have nothing, there's nothing, you have nothing to do all day. Right. What do you mean? How do you know my schedule? Because I'm looking at your face. Yeah.

Your face does read your schedule. You were super busy? Like, how could you be super busy on a Sunday? What was your weekend? Super busy. I believe you. It was a holiday. Okay.

Oh, was the Jewish thing? What was it, Young Kippur? Rosh Hashanah? Rosh Hashanah. You went to Florida? No. I don't have to go to Florida for it. Well, how busy is?

How busy is Rush Ashana here alone? It's two days. What do you have to do? You don't have to do anything. I do, though. I go to the service. You went to the synagogue? Yeah.

Was it scary? There was police. Really? Is it all day? Yeah, Jews do marathons, man. How long are you there for? Many hours. How many?

Why are we pulling this out of you so hard? I'm trying to think now. I got there at 8.30 in the morning. I got home at 2.30. Jesus, man. I was pretty wiped out. Jesus. Christine thought Russia Shunner was one word, like a real racist.

It says that it lasts about 30 for eating services, four to five hours for morning services. Jacob, Jesus. You need to believe in Jesus. If anything would make me convert, it's just going to one service. Yeah, 45 minutes, dude. Get some bread and you're out. Get a little snack.

Do you do that every year? A lot of things change for me after I lost my dad. So I've been going more regularly. Did he leave you his Jewish? I do everything to honor my dad. Did he give you his yamika, his antique yamika? Oh, man. Do you wear it?

I wear his. At the thing? Yeah, I always wear his. Okay. You know, I bet you make your dad just as happy if you got a little fucking puss ha ha after the service, my man. I've been fine with it. I would have been fine with that.

And he would too. You're absolutely right about that. If you were like, hey, Pops, I missed the four to five hour morning service because I got a little Poonane. Did your dad know what Poonale mean, do you think? I told you when he was a younger, he was a pussy slayer. Yeah? Crazy. Like, notorious.

Notorious. My grandmother, his mom, would tell women, please stay away from him. I'm telling you, this is going to end bad because he was very good looking. Was he wanted by the FBI? A type of slayer? No, he's just a... Oh, he got a lot of puss. And then he killed them?

No. And then he made... All those dolls... All those dolls of women he fucked. That was my mom. Dude, what? Your mom's first person he hooked up with? You had sex with?

No, no, no. Those are my moms are the dolls. Oh, your mom kills the women that your father has sex with who makes the dolls. Yeah, you got it. Okay. Yeah, those are all the women she found and had to bury. I understand.

And she made dolls of them. Jacob, why don't you swing by for the 30-minute nighttime service instead of going to the fucking uh i did you went to both yeah how are you gonna get oh my how are you gonna get pussy you're getting so close to god we're at a synagogue no less yeah i didn't say i was where girls have three layers of clothing and then fake pussy wigs over their pussy hair they were rather old too oh my gosh there wasn't any young stuff to occupy my young women there man jacob if there's no way i will be but if i'm alive to see you on your old man deathbed. I'm gonna, I can't wait to just make you eat things like a cheeseburger and just see

your face and be like, oh, oh, none of it was worth it. I was never religious, I told you. I don't even, like I said, things changed. He turned 50 and you get super stoked on Rosh Hashanah. No. You when your dad died is when you, you wanted to honor him with religion, you being a good boy. It was, uh, I never had a thing against made he was a very happy man my dad actually you guys would have loved him he was everything you accused me of not being

my dad would my dad would enter a room with a smile on his face I swear I thought I was going to say when he stopped my dad would end bomb in a heartbeat okay why do you think that means I would like him I think j made him you did meet him once in the lobby he was very happy

yeah he would enter a room smiling it was very genuine and uh... did you ever give you a pep talk like hey man He's like, Jacob, you got your mom's frown. I did get hers. I never said there were a few things I didn't get from him, his aura, but I loved being around it, so I'm trying. Yeah.

I don't know if Russia Shana had anything to do with that, but if it makes you feel good, fucking rock it out. That just seems like a both days you had to go. It took two days you had to do that? I did it. I did both. Do you get anything? Did they give you like a medallion?

Yeah. Something? Do you get something for it? surprise. I did all of Russia shunning all I got was a stupid hoodie. This is a new thing. I was like this a dumb tattoo. This is new for me. Do you think your dad would be okay if you

dipped your toe in a little bit and just started hitting the evening services for a year or two and you know, live life a little? I just want you to bury the weekend you think. All right. Would I have done something else if that wasn't? Probably not. I mean, I did watch football when I finally

got back. I watched Red Zone. What did you have for snacks? Nothing. They weren't serving anything. No, when you got home watched football. Oh, no, I just... Salmon bites? I made myself lunch. What was it?

Eggs. Good football lunch? I had a big fat sandwich. With shredded lettuce dripping off of it. Manny's on my hand. Don made wings. I was eating wings on Wednesday. Sorry.

May, yeah. Did it make it feel better? Nope. A little bit. A little bit. They were good. They were good wings. They were good wings.

So it wasn't so bad that you're... It was bad. It was bad. You kind of find out in the first week that your team kind of doesn't gel at all. Yeah. A quarterback... It is tough. I think our quarterback is afraid.

Well... He's not clutch. Or he's fucking... He is clutch if he played for the Seahawks. Wow. Put three in their hands. I think it was four. Those guys...

I think it was four interceptions. Four interceptions, but three in the fourth quarter. For sure. I think there's some cornerbacks on the Seahawks that have more catches than starting receivers in the NFL this year. God damn. Well, so Jacob sat around Jew and off this weekend. I was in Virginia Beach. You were at a comedy festival.

Saratoga Springs. Did you go to Druthers? You didn't. Twice. No, you didn't. Three times. Nope. No twice.

You didn't go. I did. Why, why, when you asked me something, what in your life, who lied to you and abused you that when you asked me a question and I say twice that you don't believe me that I went to a restaurant? You didn't ask me, did you ever suck a guy's cock? Were you ever with a tranny? You ever have Don stick something in your ass?

You said, did you go to the druthers, the restaurant? And I said twice. And you go, no, you didn't. Right. why don't you believe me? I don't know. You know what? I got to take that answer.

That's a goddamn idea. How do you going to say that? You just honestly said, I don't know. I just don't know how close it was to where you were. Right up the street. Oh, great. That's what I'm saying. I didn't know where it was.

I went twice because it was actually convenient. We were trying to go to another place on Saturday, but it wasn't. The druthers, you could just walk right in. It was good. You got the pizza. Cheese curds are great. Dude, I got fish and chips. Really?

And it was good. Ooh. Yeah, that's weird. That's a weird one, right? Up in Toga? I split a fish and chips. I'm split it with who? Oh, some open micer.

I don't know. He was there, and I can either. Give me your scraps? I have a baby stomach, so I gave it to him. Here's the rest of my fish and chips. Yeah, it was good. Drow this was good. Yeah, it's great.

But the festival itself, talk to me. What was it called? Saratoga Springs Comedy Festival. That's exactly what it was called. Okay. Yeah. Is there a heavy scene up there that they were able to put a festival on? Word festivals loosely used.

However, I don't judge because I always say Skankfest's first festival was 300 people in one little comedy club. I think festivals what they're doing, like they don't understand Skank Fest started a creek in the cave, and they got the best comics to come down and do that weekend. And then they went to Brooklyn, and they got the best comics. And they had a little spot for open micers or younger guys. it was mainly the funniest people on the planet doing the majority of the work. And it was small, small, small, and then it got bigger and then it is what it is today. But it took years of small venues in building it up and building the rep up.

This kid went big the first time. Like I went... Oh, oh, he went big out of the gates. It was big. It was a lot of comics. Good guy. A lot of great people. But my first show...

I thought Chris O'Connor, that picture was like Adam 22. I drove up with Chris and Ian, which was just... Chris O'Connor? Chris O'Connor is the easiest, cool. We get along so good. He's a great guy. But he's so my type of guy. He's like a guy.

He's a ballbuster, subtle, quiet. Ian is a lot. Yeah. He's a lot. And you didn't smoke on the ride? I let him smoke. You did? I did, yeah.

Nice. I don't want to do that to somebody. I like that. Yeah. It's awesome. You know, he's smoking. But, you know, he smoked a lot. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It wasn't like, I'm going to let you smoke. I'll have one. I'll try to go as long as I can. It was a two-hour ride. And then he was farting, too. I really, I would have, that, honestly, we would have had words.

Yeah, I know. If I wasn't smoking and he was smoking and I let him, it's possible I would do that if I wasn't, when I wasn't smoking, I would have still done that. You're doing that and farting? Now you're not smoking and now we're arguing. But now he was farting, and then smoking to take the fart smell away.

And you just bought that? What, he was, girlfriend? I didn't buy it, but it did work. It was my... It's like telling you, swallowing cum is good, because there's protein. That is true. Okay, baby. That's what's in body-bring coffee.

Yeah, yeah, protein cum. It's rattlesnake juice. No, it was kind of my fault. He came to my house first, and then I gave him sardines. Okay. So I kind of was my fault. I gave him sardines. You're blaming yourself for this?

You're not getting a beaten wife. What does Ian have on you? I don't know. I gave him sardines. Did you do gay stuff with Ian when he was doing gay stuff? Just a can of sardines? We had sardines. Jacob, don't let him, don't deviate away from this.

Pupped it open like a hobo? Yeah. What are you guys? Boxcar Willies? Not in the car. Chris took the wrong train. We had to go to my house with Ian. Okay.

And Ian's sweetest pie with Dawn. He's the different, hey, oh, hi, you know. And then we had to, you know. And then we had to, he gets in the car he just turns into you know Ian and he's a lot i don't mind a lot but farting and smoking when you don't smoke is a i can't believe you didn't yell i think i was trying not you're afraid of Ian no i was trying not to yell i was trying to accept him for who he is and your car just farting up your seats i'm trying to change my ways bro it's nothing is the

change about that it didn't work starting to get cooler with people farting in your car and farting up your seats yeah well by Bob loves farts, no, or just your own? I don't... Good question. It's a great question. I don't even consider the idea that Bobby may just love farts. And you said something as though you're just telling us the fart thing, but it was actually

like, I let him smoke, he was smoking a lot, but at least he farted to cover up the smoke smell. Well, here's the thing with the fart. I love a fart, and a funny fart is great. It's got to make a noise. I like a noise. These were silence? These were just came out of no. That's the only thing in the world makes me ever want to punch a dog.

When you just smell, like, immediately smell fucking putrid shit. Yeah. And you want to punch. Yeah. It was, uh... That's, I wouldn't like that at all, dude. It was bad. It was bad.

But we made it. We got up there. And then, uh... At your expense in every way possible. Yeah. At my first show was at... Oh. Oh.

Oh, Ian. I wish it was a sound. I'd laugh at that. That's kind of funny. My first show was at six. which was a little weird and it was in a big huge hall

and hall like VFW? No like convention center home Yeah it was in the arts thing Okay that's big So it was big and they had The casino and Philly would do that

They had a lot of seats out You know what I mean And I went in there And there's a lot of guys on in front of you But I don't they're like It's not like Chris or Ian or, you know what I mean? It was a bunch of...

Dan Bolger? Not even. Charlie Nadler? Yeah, guys like that. Quentin Davis. Yeah, guys, I don't know. Younger guys. Like, Danny level guys.

Rick Matthews? Maybe. Caleb Whitechump on there? Probably. Duncan Harris is probably your guy, right? Yeah. There's probably on there. I'm a Juan Pantelion guy.

Yeah, he was good. But there was, yeah, there was nobody... It's like, when you do a festival, of all you lose the skank fest you're on the show with you or you know uh like uh lewis or it's like a bunch of guys i know that are kind of like everybody's coming to that show it's not for me it's for the show and you go on and then you have that side stage for the younger guys that they go on and people come in it out of that so this was like weird because i felt bad because people were buying if you were buying a ticket to see me you got to see a bunch of other dudes that you know what i mean

and I was doing 20 minutes, but I got on... Oh, Aden Block? Assim Tinoosie? Anastasne. Say yes to any of these. I don't know any of these people. Pedro Garcia. Pedro, I do know.

Okay. I met him. He hosted the last show I was on. Oh, and then, of course, Jovan Afalsi, I believe, was there. But I got on... Offzali. Yovon Avzali. You don't know?

No, he's a good... I guess I might. Dude, he said he spent the whole weekend hanging out with you. But there was literally 20 people in the crowd. And they didn't seat anybody? So they just sat. 20 out of how many seats on the ground? 3,000.

No. No. But how many? Probably maybe 200 seats. It's not too big of a hall. 150? But they didn't seat anybody. So they're all dispersed.

Oh, God. So there, you know what I mean? Oh, my fucking good. Did you make them get near each other? I got up. By the time I got up, I was like, I didn't understand. And I look, this, this was nuts. Surprise where you, the places you put your foot down where you don't put your foot down on something.

Like, what you would say somebody about something, I would just demand. Like, as soon as that goes, it goes, absolutely not. Like, everybody has to go to the front. If there's 20 people, they all have to be in that. I don't, I don't get involved in that. I'm not confrontational at all, but the show, you can't set it up. to fail. Yeah. Well, I went up and as soon as I got up there

and there was fans there. You know, a reg shirt, they had a YKWD shirt and then I look out... And 18 other shirts. I look out in the back and I look and it's my uncle David. Oh, fuck. And his wife, they just got, they live up there and they didn't tell me

they were coming and they just got tickets. If we didn't want to bother you, we assumed it would be sold out. But this is the guy that told me, you know, man, you need a backup plan. Like 30. five years ago. He was the guy. He literally had a conversation,

you know, you can't do this for a living. You need to, you come with me, you work with me. The worst person. Apoxy flooring. And that's a career. I would have enjoyed if you knew how to do that, though. But that would really be great. If you could do that, I would love that.

I would love it too. I have to believe it's not even real when I watch these. Something I just make epoxy floors where there's like a functioning like water current coming up to a beach under your floor. No. Dude, my little brother... It's not happening.

My little brother just made a floor that he does that now because he's the one who took Michael's advice and did it with him. He made a floor that you want to bite. It looks like Carmel, like a Carmel River. Look at these things. Yeah, they're amazing. I want them so bad. I do too.

That. I should have listened to Dave. Matt, dude, just think you could do this yourself now. I could have. Oh, look how cool this is. I know. They get little boots on to with little spikes. Yeah.

You want this for your garage. No. God. Look at this. I want this for every one of my living spaces. Look at that. That's like Christmas. I want a still picture aquarium

underneath my feet at all times. I should have listened. You should have fucking. No, no. What are we doing? No, of course not. You have a long, flourishing career. I should have listened.

Now, he looked at me and when I went, I went, Dave, I know. I didn't have to tell him what I was saying. I go, I know. And he went, and he just nodded his head. He's retired. He sold his business. business.

He's got a $4.6 million. Dude, he's got a place in Florida, a place in Massachusetts, in Saratoga. What nightmare? It was a fucking nightmare, dude. I can't believe one to get it. That's the problem with having anybody do good. The thing about, like, my family is everyone did at best fine. There's no one looking down their nose at me.

I did okay. Do you know what I mean? Like, what we do is enough to be the hero of my family. On either side, I think my dad's other kids, I think, do all right for themselves. Yeah. But I don't think as good. I'd like to think that's good. Everybody in my family on the guy's side had done fantastic.

Yeah. Owned their own businesses. One was a postmaster general of a cool blue collar guy guys too. And you're out here fucking dancing around on stage like a fucking nanny. My uncle just retired as a cop, 40 years on the thing, pension. 35 years in the job. Yep. And here you are.

Uncle Dave. Find tight t-shirts on Facebook at night. Auntie Bob and Uncle Dave. Oh my God. It was really a fucking slap in the last face I wanted to see. And he wasn't even sitting up front. He sat way in the back. I have, where have I had?

I've had some people come to things just like some of my worst showings. Like people where I was like, you know, I have to tell my mom, I go, it's not usually like this. It's usually better. Yeah. You got to tell family members, I'm like, no, you guys came on. This club's weird. Yeah.

I was like, dude, first year of the festival, dude, they just get it together. Exactly, yeah. The next show I was on was with Ian and Kyle Canane, and it was a pack. It was passed. Sam Bedali and Abdul Hadi. Chris was on it. The next show was packed out. Joey Briggs, pop through.

And then YKWD the next day was at 5. That was packed. The whole room was packed. I had Kyleon, Sean Donnelly, Karen. It was fucking awesome. Will Johnson? No, no. I had my friends.

Tyler Kronk. But then I had Robert Kelly and friends on Saturday. Okay. Not, I didn't know. Not one friend. It was really Danny. It was really Danny Braff and friends. Because Danny put all his friends on it.

I didn't know any of these guys. Danny's friends? Yeah. Linette Palladino? Yeah. Or Rich Williams? It was all dudes and none of them I knew. Oh, that does suck.

That sucks shit pretty hard. I was outside and I just saw people walking out. I'm like, what is happening right now? Like, if you paid to festival money to come see me my Robert Kelly and friends, you'd probably expect some dude you know. Yeah, friends. Friends. It's right there in the title. Yeah.

Maybe Karen, maybe Ian, maybe Chris, maybe you. Maybe if she's your friend, you call her Karen. Kieran. That's one of those dumb fucking names like the other one. It says it looks like it's spelled. Kieran. Kieran. Karen. No, Kare.

Fuck the name. Kare? Say care. No. I'm not doing an electric company with you. I'm not doing it. Is that the reference? I thought that was maybe Sesame Street.

No. It's electric company too. Kare. In. Kare. Kare. Kare. In.

Karen. Karen. Yeah. We did it. You got me to do it. You like your company, dude. You officially did it. Yeah, that's not, that's a stupid, that's a weird name.

It should be Karen. Listen, I do agree. It seems like a black. It's like when they put a black variant on a white name, no one likes it either. You know what I mean? I say, I just, when I say her name out loud, I go, Kim. Yeah. So she can't find it.

She can't call me on it. It's like, Roshanifer. It's like Ian's last name, Fadance. But what you say is Fadance. It's Fadance. But I said finance for a long time. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Wow. I don't want to circle back. this again is your was your mistake getting into comedy and not going into no no it's not a mistake you made the right decision no I did not I would have been fucking owning the company look you could have picked up a poxy flooring along the way just to have something to do I still might what he teach you he's retired now you think he remembers the good stuff you gave it to my little brother damn dude I want a fucking ocean floor on my regular floor I can get you when my

little brother's doing it if you want one So bad. I'll get you one. Those ones, though. Those ones? Dude, that's what he does. Are they real? The way they do it...

It could be the forest under my feet somehow? If you wanted to do that, yes, you could. I do. Yeah. You can do that. Where are you going to put it? Everywhere. You have carpet.

You can't. No, I'm going to get rid of that. I would do it... In the gym. The dining room. The dining room? You have beautiful floors. No.

Don't you have hardwood floors? They're not beautiful. No? No, they're all clunky and squeaks. squeaky too. Squeaky clunky? Yeah. No.

Now you could do it in the dining room. What would you do? Like a river? A full river? A full river? Would you put like a trout in the river? I would epoxy floor, the office, the spare bedroom, the hallway, and then the dining room kitchen. I would epoxy all of that, making it one continuous thing of maybe flowing lava.

You could do that outside. And then I want to do a thing also, some of these epoxy floors that shows you could hit a switch, too, and some lights go on inside. some lights go on inside of it, and then you see all kinds of shit like that. Yeah, you could put lights in them. I want that. All right, I'll get on it. I'm coming to a, maybe like a Dungeons and Dragons theme, something.

I don't know. I'll figure it out. I wish I could have, if I made the right decisions, I could have done that for you. You could have done this for me. I could have done it for you. I also want those things I don't believe a real either, where it's like, you see that guy walk around his house?

He's like, I bought my favorite house in Vegas, and like none of the doorknobs or the doorknops, they become doorknops for some other hole in the wall, and then it's just a room where you jump, in the foam and then slide down a slide into a secret room it's all bullshit though yeah you come out the kitchen cabinets with balls coming out behind you yeah yeah yeah yeah but and you open the draws and it's like puns Bobby your little brother can't do this yeah

you can no way dude yeah you can no way yeah you can I want a full game of risk happening underneath me I want to walk on a floor that looks like you could drown yeah yeah absolutely look at the space one I want the space one I want the one I want the one with like little jellyfish, little glowing jellyfish underneath. Look at that. Yeah, they're all great. Oh, wow.

It's all awesome, but your brother can't do it. Well, you know, definitely can't. Me. Oh, look at that's little flowers with candles in them. Yeah. It's so great. I saw one where they did a floor that looked like a black hole and the dog refused.

Like, thought it was going to fall into the black hole. I almost bought, but I'd never do it. I don't know because I'm like, why would I want this? It's going to make my, it's going to make me throw up. The carpets, you can just, like, in the area rugs that do, like, designs, it makes it look like you're going to fall through a fucking hole. It's like optical illusion rugs, carpets. And when you see it, like, it looks cool, but you're like, you know what?

I don't want it to, like, a vortex in the middle of my room. There's an artist that does it on the streets where it looks like you're, like people are walking on their phones and they look up and they freak out because it looks like they're going to fall down to a flight of stairs. Yeah, the Beatles use ones, like the one, just like that. I'm like, ah, it's going to make me fucking throw up. That's awesome. That's so good.

If I got high, I would get high in the middle of that. Here's the thing. It's also the picture looks really good. When you get it, it's just going to be circles on a carpet. It's not going to hit you like that. You know what I mean? Yeah, I might not. But those floors do.

They see you think, right? They do, yeah. My uncle has a floor. If I get somebody to donate me a corpse of a woman, he would he put a mermaid under there? If I make a human mermaid. I'm sorry. If I can get a lady's corpse donate.

His corpse, yeah. Donated. Donated to science. She donated her body to science, dude. Yeah, I don't like that. I mean, I love it, but I don't want it. I don't want to fall to nowhere in my own house. I like that.

I want a naked woman. That'd be funny if you got that rug and then you walked over, but one day you have a guy actually make that hole. You watch Christine fall in it. Hey, Christine, go check out the optic. illusion over there yeah they're so cheap you know it doesn't look the way it's supposed to look it's gonna be a bummer when you get it yeah I know especially if the sun's hitting it wrong it's just gonna yeah it's gonna look tacky and weird I bet it's

shitty material 35 bucks come on Nick Rocha for deals and carpets and he's thousands of dollars yeah that's not not that kind that's not gonna look like that so anyway so we're at the festival I was at the festival I was at the festival first show The first show was, your uncle's disappointed. My uncle was there. It was nuts. Then you got to perform on Danny Braff and Friends, which is a nice opportunity. That was the next night.

That was Danny Bradford and friend the next night. That night was another show, which was great. That was fun. I got to meet Kyle Canane, who I've never met. Great guy, really funny dude. Very funny, dude. And he was on my podcast the next day. And he was, it was just great.

I was a little nervous meeting him because he's, you know, he's West Coast. Is Kyle West Coast? Yeah, he's I think he's Originally Denver? Yeah, yeah Is Seattle now or something like that? Or Portland, Portland, he's in Portland

But really great guy Funny as fuck me Reminded me like he's nonchalant funny Like he's effortlessly funny And he's been good on shows, TV shows too So good And of course Karen was hilarious And Sean

Fuck it was so funny But it's funny Because all three of us on stage We look exactly alike Just different stages He's a diabetes. But then Saturday night, we actually went, the guy who ran the festival called Donnup, is like, you think Bobby would like to go fishing?

And I was like, absolutely. So he set up a fishing trip for us on Saturday. For who? For me, but then I was like, hey, can I bring the other comics? He was like, sure. So I brought Ian, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen. Karen. Karen.

That's going to make her so happy when you do that. Small little thing like that I'll turn everything around with you and her Is something wrong with us? Did you call you? Oh Oh What?

I thought I thought you guys were going to talk this weekend about it About what? Nothing I guess Karen Go on Karen And

And Chris And I know Chris I know that those two Don't know what they're doing I know So I'm the guy You know I'm the fish guy

I've been fishing all summer And I'm And I know Chris knows how to fish, but I go all the time. Like, all summer, every day I was fishing with Max. And I get on the boat and I start fucking, hey, we wacky rigging? Are we going to Texas rig? Are we using what type of worms we're using? Are you doing it to be an asshole?

No, it just came out, you know, like, because I wanted the guy to know. I was asking. You want to use a box nut on this thing or you want me to just pull up the, you guys, I don't know about the, you guys, not all worms are night crawlers, but it doesn't matter. It's a worm's a worm, I guess. I was like, we all go all spin reels and we spinning.

You know, I was doing shit like that. And the guy... Not to be an asshole. Not to be an asshole, but I fish. You know what I mean? No, you want everybody you fish. Hey, everyone, I fish. It's not even that cool of a thing to do.

Yeah, a little... You know what I mean? But a little bit like, hey... Everyone I fish with my boy, like, fucking Andy Greer. Griffith and Opie. I didn't want to let the other people, but I wanted to let the people that were bringing us out

who fish know that I know what the fuck I'm doing. So when I said, are we wacky rigging, or we're going to text? He was a wacky rig. He just started having the shorthand about fishing. And we're using spinners? He's like, yeah. Oh, cool, yeah.

That's great. And then I was like, you know, what type of hooks get on there? And we just, you know, a lot of. Yeah, yeah, fucking lore chat. I got it. I mean, like Karen and Chris think we're so cool. Oh, yeah.

With her fish talk. Oh, dude, yeah. Karen was probably soaked. And I should have went in the back with Karen. Ian should have went with Chris. Because Chris is, he's calm as a cucumber. Nothing affects that kid, you know? And Ian, you know, immediately takes his shirt off.

He's got some, he got a brand new tattoo, so there's just, you know, a bandage on a stomach. It was like a butterfly on a skateboard. And he shows up with, like, like, like, he shows up with, like, like, Like a towel with like a bag of stuff and another bag of stuff. Of course. And you know what I mean? You know, it's like, are you moving?

Are you between like fucking moving? Just too much stuff on a boat. A flannel, another shirt and another shirt and a t-shirt. Soon they get on the boat, it's beautiful. It takes all his clothes off down to his jeans and starts smoking. Can I smoke? You know? And I went up with Chris.

It was dumb. I should want Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Yeah.

I hate it. I hate it. Karen. I should don't want about with her. She's just so... I love doing it. I love being out. This is awesome, guys.

I'm having such a good time. And you're like, yeah, you should be like, you should like stripped down. Like Ian, we're all comfortable here. We're all friends here. Yeah, she's fucking... She's a cutie, buttootie. Oh shit, you got a crush on Karen. No, I don't.

Thank God you'll insult her by never getting her name right. Karen. Nope. Karen. Mm-hmm. Karen. Karen. Yes.

Karen. Yep. Karen. You got it. I'll never forget it again. Yes, you will. Karen. Ask me right now.

What is it? Karen. You're already losing it. You're already slightly losing it. You panicked yourself. So, dude, we go out, they take us across this lake, and me and Chris are up in the front, and, you know, I cast my stuff. Dude, this kid hits a fucking bass, a three-pound bass, out the gate. So I set up this whole thing.

First fish, biggest fish. biggest fish most fish 10 dollars each everybody's in it but in my brain I'm winning one of them right I'm gonna be first the biggest or most

best wacky best for you Chris nonchalant Chris just throws it out bangs a fucking massive bass but I'm happy

I'm like this is great good for you that's awesome you keep them I take it no you don't keep them let them back you lip herders right throws him

back all of a sudden a couple minutes later this kid hits another fucking fish he's just casting and I don't know what he's doing I'm doing all my little tricks and this kid's just reeling it and doing it and he gets another fucking bass

brings it in oh hey what is this pretends like the hook then was using a wacky rig no he was using a wacky rig yeah he was using a wacky rig hook he was using a wacky rig hook why don't you use his wacky rig

I was using the same thing he was using. Really? The same thing. I guess you just don't have to touch. Shut up. And then... I guess he's the fisherman of the group. Then he throws it out again.

Literally, he throws it out. These fish are just hitting his... Jumping in the boat for him. But he caught a pickerel that was so big. They're trying to get on tires. He's pulling it in... They know he's the conduit to shame. Direct conduit to shame.

Can you get to the script to shame? throw me back you get the script to Shane I got an idea it knows a spec script for a tires episode he gets dude the fish he caught was so crazy big and I it's like a dream pickerel for me like I couldn't believe he and he goes he caught your dream pickerel

he goes like this I should be in the ironic song he's like I don't even know what is it I don't even know wow that's big right I'm like oof pulls it up it's got teeth it's so fucking crazy it's a fantasy fish it's a fantasy fish It's a... Did you call it something?

He goes, It's the elusive something. It's our name. He goes, you call it Big Marge. There's a legend of this lake. You caught the legend of the lake. Dude, the guy on the boat was like, wow.

And now, then he throws it out. He gets another... Dude, he catches another two and a half pound bass. Four fish? Yeah. No shit, dude. Is that how many interceptions Drake May had? Shut up.

Is it or was it? Three. It's four. You got four. Okay. And then, and then Ian would bother me. Ian was like, started coming up. Chris, can you teach me? Like, how to, I was like, I'm the guy. He's like, no. We're the guy. Bobby, you should be shirtless with tattoos, smoking cigarettes in the back. Chris goes like this. I don't know, man. I'm just, you know, throwing it out there. So I just fish, it's really good fishing. If you're throwing them back, you're. If you're throwing them back, you're just throwing them back,

Yeah. No one's eating them. There's no point in the thing. What's the point? Because... That's a real question. I mean, I'm going to answer you real. Okay.

Because you're using a certain lore. You're, you know, kind of jigging it a little bit. Whoa. And... I know it wasn't a serious question. No, it's a very serious question. That was not a serious answer so far. And when you catch a fish, like that moment of where you got the fish to take it,

and then you got to get it in the boat and you look at this beautiful, oh my God, animal. You're like, this is pretty. You let it back in if you're not going to eat it. You're going to let it back in and be caught another day, you know? Why catch them at all? Because catching a fish is exciting. It's cool.

It's like it's fun. It's nothing, and then all of a sudden it's something. And then you got to get it in the boat. I don't know. I just like it. Yeah, no, I listen to a lot of people I know who love fishing. I just don't understand the idea of that. You like to fish?

Do you like to fish? We used to fish a lot when I was younger. It was cool. And you liked it. Yeah. Even like when you get the fish, then you're putting it back. I don't see what the point of it.

Fishing seems like something that would be because you need to eat fish. No, you go and you have a good time. Have you, you've never hooked a bass? Well, you haven't got on a fishing tree. We've heard his story. He hooked one.

His father made him... It wasn't a bass. It was a croppy. And he made him hold it. He threw it on the ground and then ripped the hook out of his mouth and kicked it into the water. I did.

I murdered a fish. My dad murdered that a fish. But they, uh... I think you'd enjoy it. No, as an adult, I went on the Burt Kreischer thing. We went on a boat, and they caught fish. They asked me a couple times if I wanted to reel them in, and I was like, no. And then they reeled it in, and then they wanted to take pictures with it.

And I would just be like this in the pictures. I would just, like, touch it because they wanted us all to touch it. I was like, ugh. I kiss the fish every time I catch one. No shit. Bye. I just stay home. I'll stay home and make bread for everybody.

I'll make sure your vittles are ready for when you guys get back from catching and releasing fish. It was the most annoying. It could have just been me catching fish. And then rock star fisherman Chris had to come and caught him all. And he doesn't even know what he's doing. He caught him all. Oh, here's him deep sea fishing many times. Yeah, he's like a plant.

Like he got on the boat and was acting like he, you know what I mean? Yep. Just because he wasn't talking to the guy like you were. I know. I really fucking, I really got on the boat and fucked up by telling everybody, my fishing things. Oh, look these guys. They're master fishermen. Bobby, I hope they were rolling their eyes at you when you were going like, is this a

wacky reel? Or are we using a baby? I hope they looked at the thing like, oh, here he goes. Well, you know what Chris did. It's the reel they're giving us, Bobby. Relax. Chris halfway through just took the hook off and unwacky rigged it and just made a Chris rig. Oh, wow. Which worked even better. Which works so much better. And then I tried to copy his little thing he did with the hook. He's like, stick to wacky rigs. And I was like, what did you do? What did you do? And he's like, I don't know, I just kind of did. Something. And I'm like, you're not even telling me what you did. And that is not...

And you were like, I was jigging it. And he was like, that's not a thing. Jiging is a thing. You jig. Nope. You jig. You jig. You jig the lure. Oh, the worm. You can jig it. You pop it up and let it fall. Pop it up, let it fall. Pop it up. The word is jig. Gig. Are you thinking, are you trying to shorten the word jiggle? No. I mean, they might have, but the word is jigging. You want to jig the... We have the internet here. Yeah, I know. She's right the... Why is the answer not already up? I don't know.

but jigging is a thing. It's because she doesn't want to hurt one of our feelings. I thought you guys want to discuss it more. Yeah. Damn it. Yeah. Basic steps to jig. That makes me furious.

Why does it make you force that I was right and you accused me of something? And you were wrong. I was, I live in the world of funny. I was hoping it was going to be funnier than it was. It just ended up being correct. Isn't that funny? Look at this.

This guy's, oh my God. He's a professional. He's a plant. Are they throwing that back? No. I think they're going to eat it. No, they're going to keep that.

You keep that. That's offshore. That are eating that. Yeah, you'll eat that, dude. What is it? Tuna, I think. No, that's not a tuna. Oh, I thought that's what I said.

I think that's a bass. Episcopalian? What's the thing you said you wanted to have? That's not a tuna. A Tuna is beautiful. Pussy? Pussy? What's the kind of fish you wanted to get?

Well, look at him. Michael Pachel. Look how confident. Look how cool he is. He obviously is a fisherman. He's posting fishing videos. I didn't know this. You know those guys were sport fishermen?

a ringer. Yeah, he was a ringer, man. Look at, he's got his hand right in the mouth that doesn't even bother him? Nope. Not me. I'd be making all icky faces. Wow. I wouldn't even be as close as Tommy Pope is that fish behind him. Oh, my God. What if that thing bucks and freaks me out? This is, the fish he caught were nothing. Yeah. Like, that was bullshit to him. Yeah, he was practicing hanging out with the ladies. Captain O'Connor. Captain O'Connor. Oh, he did put it back. Oh, he did put it back. Oh, wow, what a good guy. She's traumatized fish and throw him back of the shit. Well, he's getting it. getting air through his...

That's clearly a big old bass. In his gills now. That's clearly a big old fucking trail. Is that a... It's not a striper. Striper. Striper. Some steelhead.

I don't know what it is. Big old something. It was just... And then Ian lost his... Clownfish. Ian lost his... He was panicking because, you know, he had five shirts. I've had that happen at sea.

He lost his shirt. And I'm like, well, just get another shirt. He goes, I can't. That's an original axe fuckers from back in the day. make him anymore it's hard to get the ax fuckers did break up and I don't I do believe stop putting their merch so he was panicking and then uh buddy OG ax fuckers you panicked too if you understood what that meant but anyways it was uh it was kind of a bummer I didn't catch one thing not one thing oh my god oh god if you run there and talked all your

lore shit who caught fish Karen's never gonna fuck you now the only one that caught fish was Chris. Oh my God, what a stud. And then the son of the guy who took us. Oh, he probably looked so cool, Chris. He was the coolest guy. He's one of the coolest people I know. He was like, I don't know what they're called, man.

I just like... He doesn't. He doesn't. He didn't. He's like, oh, is that what you call that? Dude, I just know how to catch fish, man. I don't know how to think about it. I don't study so I could talk to a fucking Jamaican boat captain.

And I was like, dude, like, how are you? At one point, I was like, what are you doing? You, he goes, I don't know, I'm just popping it up in two seconds? I think I'm just fishing. Is this called jigging? I was unaware. I was not aware.

I just call it knocking the thing around. It made me furious. Christine, for my own sanity, is jigging short for jiggling? I bet it is. No. I bet it's true for jiggling. Is there any connection to the two words is what we're seeing? They call it two.

This is now. Oh, really? Are you sure? Well, that's weird. Yeah. molded onto a hook and covered with a soft plastic body Oh, that's the name of the lure is a jig. Gigling, a specific, yeah.

Fishing technique. Yeah, jiggling it is. Jiggling. Jiggling. Jiggling. It's a thing. Jigging and that's jiggling. Yeah.

Sorry. Damn. Well, Paco, jig my balls. That's a thing. That's a thing. Oh, then I guess last night Paco was jigging my balls.

Yeah, and then the show Saturday night, it was a long show. But the festival, the guy running it was, it was good. I felt bad, you know, I think he wanted more people there. Because the rooms are just massive. They swing for the fucking moon, that's the problem. Yeah, staff was great, everyone was great. They treated you like a fucking rock star. And the fans that did show up were awesome.

Well, you and Katie Arroyo. and Michael Agwinbiotti Oh, Paco, speaking of comics, young comics, did you see the thing? We worked with that kid, a very nice kid. Nick something, him and some girl. I guess they went to, did they go to Tim Dillon's? That was like a public post, right?

Yeah. They went to Tim Dillon's barbecue or party and then they did a whole podcast like shitting all over it. Really? Yeah, it was very weird. It was strange. Well, maybe I shouldn't shine. light on it.

No, I'd like to see it. What was wrong with it? Just way out there. Things that you probably would also make jokes of yourself. I think it's pretty balls out for young comics to go out there and start taking shit. No, it was just like saying like, you know, you're sitting around watching Ann Coulter and something else party.

It's kind of like a... Right. Just kind of like the pish-poshness of it, sort of, and they're just kind of like it sucked. Yeah, I mean... But I'm like, that's a weird thing to take on the public. It's so funny, though. You're going way out into the...

I wouldn't... I told Tim, I'll never go to your part. I'll never go to a barbecue in the Hamptons. I'll never do it. It's a lot to hike. It's a schlep. Something just fell under the desk. Oh, it's the entire motherboard, I think.

Okay. Tim and Lewis talked shit about Sal's party. Yeah, that was funny as fuck, too. That was so funny. I talked shit about Sal's Super Bowl party. Was it bad? No, they got there late, and they were like, the food was all, like, picked over.

It's like, you guys got here, like, half time of the Super Bowl. And it was like But Louis will complain for different things Sometimes they'll go like you got too much food Which is crazy of you Which is a funny complaint to make That you got too much food Yeah

Yeah that's dumb Who complains about too much But a Sal thing is not going to be His wife's great cook There's always going to be tons of over-ordered food He's that guy Oh he's a spread It's a classy

Classy spread at all times It's bizarre. So why would they track? They just wasn't fresh food? I mean, it's really, by the way, it's really funny. I mean, Tim Dillon going like, if you're a millionaire, he's just like saying, you should be humiliated what you presented to us. I mean, look. And in fairness, I mean, Tim hires like, you know, like black servants wearing jockey outfits to deliver his food at his house.

Yeah. Passed out. Yeah. Tim throws full antebellum parties at his house. So it's different, for sure. Yeah. I mean, Louis used to throw parties like that with all famous people. Black slaves? Oh, that's not a good look.

No, like you come in, it's Steve Bouchemmy. It's, uh, you know. It's too much. Huh? It's too much. It wasn't because... You're a starfucker. No, because you, you invited enough comics to, so you could kind of, you know, kind of fade into a conversation.

It wasn't like just you and me and a bunch of stars. It was even, it was even comics. famous people, so they were more intimidated because his other friends were here? It's never like my thing is always going to be Schumer's house, me and Attel right to the balcony, never went back inside. Like, stayed outside the whole time.

Oh, the top, the top, the top, the top, when she was on the penthouse? Yeah, when she was in that building, yeah. You were actually going to leave and went back. He was going to be outside on the balcony within a day. Yeah, because we just, we ran to him as we were walking out. They just go Quest Love is DJing. You're like, this is uncomfortable.

I really do. I do, I do find it on it. even with the mix. I'm like, then it's, then it also sections off. I think it's weird for the person

throwing the party. Now I know there's personalities, again, Josh Adam Myers knows Amy Schumer. He leaves there with the entire Roots phone numbers

and some kind of thing. You know what I mean? He does the schmooze on everything. And that, it's annoying, but people, if he's at the right thing,

they think he's somebody. So, do you know what I'm saying? It's like the, he'll play that role. I just go fall in the background. And I'm like, I don't want to go in there.

Like, you know, fucking. Johnny Depp's talking to something You know, like I don't want to be in there for that Louis' parties were fucking nuts I mean, I looked down in Parker Posey was tickling Max's feet

And Max was biting Louis' emmy Just like eating it You know what I mean? He just had it like a toy Sucking his Emmy And I came out and I was like Dude Max you can't play with that And Lou was like nah

I got another one, you can play with it Damn Damn Yeah the mother from the Exorcist walked in And then Joan Rivers and his daughter walked in. I mean, we were at the table with like Norton, DePaolo, me, Dawn. Table, what was it? It was Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Yeah. And, uh, It's ridiculous. Yeah, dude. She was having, we had Thanksgiving. Why is everyone dead in her family?

It wasn't on a Thanksgiving, though. It was Thanksgiving. It was the day of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving Day. That's crazy. We all had Thanksgiving dinner at. Steve Buscemi has no family. Steve Boucher is the barbecue. Who's the other guy that did? just died he was in um god man what's his name redhead a guy kind of chubby um was in um he died from heroin really great actor what's his name oh um you know philips semore hoffman dude i'm sitting next to him at thanksgiving dinner and he just bumps me in the show you got you got to try my wife's corn corn dish it's really good i was like sure there's heroin in it I can't get enough of it

I don't mind it As long as they're normal You know And when there's a ratio of comics To actors They kind of The only one that was every dick Was the chick that was in Brown Bunny

And kids She was a 12 Chloe Savaney Yeah but there's so Again I'm just like My own thing I'm not looking for like a mix And mingle with people

Like that seems forced And whatever I'm not saying It could be great I'm sure it is It's so not my scene at all I'd rather I'd rather

Even if I hit a level where it was like, oh, there's some celebrities I've met now that would come to my house for Thanksgiving. I'd be like, or, you know, some kind of a barbecue or something, or I would think of just more it's like, no, it's either got to be hanging with that person or those people or like my friend, my actual, like, friends. Dude, I was sitting with Ari, Matthew Broderick and Steve Buscemi just shooting the shit about regular bullshit. Did these people stay behind him when he got, when he got canceled? Yeah, that one was after he got canceled, yeah. Really?

Yeah. God, those guys love... Oh, that first one, Thanksgiving. They love power dynamic. Thanksgiving, all those people, I think, dumped him. Oh, that's what I'm saying? No, I don't know. But, yeah, this was...

Yeah, it was just to hear Steve, like, we were talking and he just jumped in. It was like, that happened to me once. And just to go into a regular conversation, it was fucking insane. Yeah. I think they called him, Steve. I would do the Kurt Metzger move, where I call everybody by their full name. I go, that is... That's funny, Steve Bouchemmy.

I know who I am. I found the clip. We should do it after a commercial break. Okay. We don't want to break it up too much. I'm telling you right now, I love Tim. I love him so much. Yeah.

But there's no way I would go to a party in the Hamptons. If I was up there, I would. Yeah, if I stay. Who the fuck? When is that in the Hamptons? I stayed in the Hamptons a couple years ago a couple times. You did? Yeah.

I've never been. Not one day in my life. One time I drove close to her because this girl was going to blow me. Oh. I didn't know she lived that far. I thought, I didn't know. So you drive there for maybe a blow job, but not a friend's get together. If Tim was going to blow me, I'd go.

He would. No, I'm not his type. I bet he just would, though. Nah, blow you. There's plenty of girls who aren't my type, but I'd be like, yeah, I fucking, I'll bang Chelsea Handler to see what's up. Whose phone's going off on the table? I don't know.

Not mine. Tim is moving, by the way. he's getting the fuck out. You know, you're so excited because he's moving by you, which makes you so happy. I'll go to all the barbecues now. They're not going to be there.

Why not? He's getting rid of the Hamptons? Yeah. Why? Because it's the fucking shit Hamptons. Nobody wants to go out there. Who wants to go to the fucking Hamptons? It must feel very lonesome out there

when he goes. Louis sold his place, too. Yeah? Yeah, nobody's coming out there. No, I think it's a fun place to go for like a week, or a couple days, four days. Dude, it takes like three hours to get there. It's not around the corner.

Yeah, but it takes longer than that in the summer. It's a nightmare. It sure as shit can. And you got to drive through fucking long. Do you know it's not a nightmare? Seeing Robert Kelly live. Let me tell you something, dude. He's going to be in Brooklyn at the improv.

Saturday, September 26th. After that, Port Charlotte, Florida, Boston, New Orleans, all on deck for tickets and all of his tour dates. Go to punchup. dot live slash Robert Kelly go to his YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy. Every Tuesday night, come watch him do his damn thing at the fat back pussycat lounge to comedy cellar

at 7 p.m. And make sure you listen to his OG podcast, you know what dude, and of course the regs with Louis J. Gomez, Joe List and Dan Soder. Oh, and the tickets, yes, yes. Right here, yeah. And Bobby's special. Yeah. Let me give you a big talk up. Let me see. Bobby Kelly's filming his new special, December 12th

in New England. That's right, he's coming home. England, but the Portland part, or the... Portland. I fucking blew it already. Wow. Providence. But providence. Goddamn pothead.

Providence. Tickets are on sale right now. Get them while they are available at Uptown pvd. Uptown pvd.com. Get your tickets for that special. It's happening December 12th, Saturday. Buy tickets. Keep buying those tickets and I'll add a show.

No. Well, yes. What? kidding, we will. Big J is going to be at Magoobes in Baltimore. That's the first time you did that where we will be doing that. Yes, that'd be wonderful. I just panic because you do it to me

every fucking show. This is one of those things going to move there if it goes good. He's going to be at Magoobie's in Baltimore, September 25th and 26th. After that, he'll be in Cleveland, Seattle, and then Denver for tickets and tour dates. Go to bigjeecomedy.com. YouTube.com slash at BigJ. Okerson.

for his specials and his live videos, and be sure to check out Legion of Skanks and Story Wars wherever you listen. We'll be right back with the bonfire.