The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Gift of Hatchet Dan (feat. Dave Attell, Steve-O, Mark Normand & Brian Regan)

Episode Date: December 24, 2018

Hatchet Dan comes to life after a gift exchange. Steve-O discusses travel & a viral video star. Mark Normand discusses the new "To Catch A Predator" style of show and the suspect. Dave Attell tells us about his trip to a death museum and old gore films he watched as a kid. Brian Regan talks about the state of comedy and how different it was back then coming up as a comedian and times he was heckled.Dave Attell (@attell)Brian Regan (@brianregancomic)Steve-O (@steveo)Mark Normand (@marknorm)

You're listening to Comedy Central! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. Ocasin. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio, SiriusXM95, or on demand on the SiriusXM app. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire SXM.

This is a wonderful time of year of giving. It's the most wonderful time of the year! Mio, mio, mio, mio! Do we give Dana's present? He's gonna be so excited. Yeah. What are you guys? Just gonna turn your world around, dude. It's wrapped?

You guys are so gay. It's got some weight to it. Yeah, yeah Is it a gun to gun down man? Let's eliminate our enemies. Stop guessing Crushed your enemies to see them driven before buddy. I'm so excited pause right here. I love you so much I love you so much and Christine loves you so much. I love you too, Christine. I want you know This is gonna make you I believe Boyishly happy. Yeah.

This is just a fucking toy. Yeah! Oh fuck yeah! This is so awesome! What? It's the one. Yeah! Holy shit!

Tell everybody what it is, Dad. I want to show! You want to show them first? Yeah! You're tearing into that. I would say you said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah! Holy shit! Tell everybody what it is, Dad. I want to show them!

You want to show them first? Yeah! You're tearing into that. I would say use a knife for what you're doing. I am quasi-mentally, retardedly strong! Hatch it down! Yeah! Oh shit!

Hatch it down, then. Oh, dude, my enemies beware. Because it's a fucking problem now. Yeah, it's actually a pretty awesome tool It's a fucking unreal tool. Yeah, I mean my God It is so you know then it is the what's the brand girl? Is it Gerber? It's the one Gerbex Gerber Gerber it is it's a pry bar. It's a hammer. This is and most importantly the coolest looking hatchet I've ever seen him Jay from one dangerous man in the apocalypse to another well now

You know I've already started my knife collection because he got me the buck alpha look at that huh? Have you start look at the holster pry bar buddy, it's a thigh holster pretty much Oh belt you're getting walk around with it? I don't know why you wouldn't. You know legal reasons. No, no, no, why is that how you live your life? Afraid of legal things all the time? Not hatchet Dan. Is that how hatchet Dan acts? I bought a hatchet for a guy I thought called himself hatchet Dan. I didn't know if questions were gonna come out like that. I didn't know he was legal Dan. What an amazing

year this has been together. 2018. I'm not just saying that humbly because you know we'll the hatch it. Oh dude. Let me just tell you this. 2018. You were one sick bitch. You were one sick ass bitch. You're your own sweet ass bitch. I've been happy to mouth fuck you this whole year.

Uh, Lewitsky. Lewis Johnson. AKA Black Lou. Christine. Uh, Jay. I love you guys so much. The show is so much fucking fun to do. Jacob, we love you too. We love you.

We love you. We know you're next to the radio in a shark shirt. Your plants are watered so you can leave me alone. We love you, Jake. We love you all campers. I'm sure we are you an emotional thing on the live show. We love you and thank you so much for letting us do this show for another year. It's fucking unbelievable.

On that day, Christ was born, and he is now unto you. And on this day, Hatchet Dan was realized. And all his enemies slayed. I got a hatchet from Jay Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Had your day and everybody. Ah Merry Christmas you for the new year. Sexy motherfuckers Merry Christmas enjoy the best of the bonfires. Happy new year everybody. Happy new year everybody. We'll see you back right after the new year. Taking a short break everyone by promise you we'll miss you and we can't wait to come back. Can't wait to come back.

I do it for you all through 2019. Well happy holidays also, Jews. Yes. All right we We love you the tribe also Quanzas stuff also People that are atheists, you know Whatever they don't believe any of this shit. You're just gonna go do a weird hipstery thing instead good for you too because you don't celebrate pagan something all those heavy-chested ladies out there I hope you tee after holidays holidays away. Tee if your holiday if you're the way. Peace on earth.

Happy New Year. Joining us, Steve O in his loyal wolf. Candid. Before you came in, we were, we were, we were, we were, hold up to, to watch this with you, but we have a, a video we want to watch of a little, do you know a little boozy is? He's a rapper. Ooh, sounds a little familiar. I was, I've heard the name before I don't know who he is, but on World Star Hip Hop today,

they had a video of him, I guess. Is that, is that something that you frequent pretty regularly? No, it's his news source thing every day. That's where that's where you get your news. That's my CNN, man. If I, I'm pretty sure I could plant information on World Star hip hop That Jay would believe his news. I got it on there. If you put on the only thing the only footage I've ever watched of Donald Trump is when I click the video says Donald Trump fucking up again

Shake SMH Yeah, Jay needs super hit a hot introduction to all his new stories. Where he goes? Oh, man, Saudi Arabia popping off at the mouth You ain't even gonna believe what they did and he's like you know they killed the journalist oh, Bob is going ham on Syria This is a little foosie. I thought you might Have to because I just am dealing now with a stalker of a much more famous friend of ours Is like trying to get a hold of me do that stuff like in a really aggressive, but that's funny when it's when it's when someone like you how you feel when Someone comes in you go hey, you're the one I can I got access to when you go I like you man. I'm doing pretty good Yeah, you go should people get her hold of me either. Oh my God. Do you know that guy can I talk to that guy you go. See fucking can't talk to me is fucking jerk. I gotta find out how Facebook's work

works because apparently anyone can Facebook phone call me. Oh you downloaded messenger. You fuck yeah. How do you get your messages on Facebook? I don't, dude. I don't get the computer. I think you can get them. But if you want to get them on your cellphone, you got to download them. And that's where that's office. Have they have to be able to call you? No, it's in the, if you read the terms and agreements,

it says you allow Facebook to have your cell phone number and other Facebook users can contact you via your cell phone. Yeah, you're belonging it in the settings. Yeah. It's the most absolute correct. You fucked up in the settings. He knows absolutely correct. You fucked up in the settings. Well, how far these fans are willing to go to get your attention? This made me laugh because I don't know if I would normally click this,

except it was in the uncensored part. So like, what is this girl going to do? She got fake lips, right? I mean, yeah, but this is great. Little Boost. He's a rapper. He's talking on Instagram live to this girl. And just everything about her voice,

a white girl with a hip-hop thing, and then revealing her body, this hilarious sort of weird mom body she has. Can I guess on the voice? It's just great. It's just great. Guess on the voice before we see it, is she gonna be like this.

My pussy's so good. Sornie, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like this my pussy so good Sortie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorta. So good She got a brother. Oh, you already know y'all already know. Oh, yeah. Now this pussy was up and then you're going Darlene Darlene the fucking camera is blocking me Yeah, I'm telling you not wrong. I know I trust it's more I think it's more I Think it's definitely Southern white car for sure. I'll let's all take our temperature Wow, oh she is fucking Southern. She sounds like Danielle Brasoli Oh, have you know that Danielle Brasoli? Yeah, she's the cash me outside chick. Oh, yeah, it's my neighbor

outside chick. Oh, yeah, it's my neighbor. Come on. Come on, dude. No, no, no, no. Keep putting a good word for us. We love her. We went one idiot. I still haven't talked to her. And you've never caught her outside. That was really good. I mean, sometimes just fucking preparation means opportunity and you just fucking open the window. Watch that home run leave the park. That's my friend. That's my friend. That's so good.

We've driven past for a bunch of times. I've never had the nerve to get out and introduce myself. You get, there's a good tie into Theo Vaughn, you know, Theo. Sure. He was just in her last video as a pedophile that she brands on his forehead. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

Did a great job. We love her. I've gone one, we came out first saying what a horrible thing it was that this young girl's acting like this and she never had to hit. Then the side he just made her a bazillionaire and I'm like fuck it, steering into it, I like her now.

Dude, it's crazy man, she's selling out like large menus every time. Someone that just did a very half sold Albany funny bone. That's it. That's it. I'm so happy. Yeah! Black Blue genius and just letting him come in right away. Well, it's up to you. Sit right here, dude. So you can watch the TV. We're watching the new How to Catch a Predator.

Oh, shit! It's called Crime Watch. A new one came up, but it's still Chris Hansen. Oh, wow. All right. Where were we? Didn't he get stabbed or am I thinking of cheaters? You're thinking of cheaters. All right, they're all one and the same.

But you can hear over there if you want. Yeah, there's a headset right by that one. Hey, that could be a show cheating pedophiles. Hey, it's just a seven year old confronting a guy that fucks him. Where were you? And he goes, listen, I was just, they said there was a sale on fuck.

Yeah, you bought him a Capri-sund nothing. Yeah, I wish we can go. No, we're right now, we're at 540 and can you go back to when he comes in? a sail on fucking yeah you bought him a Capri Sun nothing yeah I wish we can go know we're at right now we're 540 and you go back to when he comes in he is excitement oh man the pizza and he just see you just see he's like man she's a she's a hot 12 year old right there right there he's cute but I think Jay wasn't the contract on this a thing about like I can have sex with you if we get married or am I thinking of something maybe I think it was like if your mom says you can

marry me then I can like it was trying to get her into some marriage guys let's guys let it use this fuck I went to the proper channel what I can only describe is the best pedophilia lawyers the best pedophilia lawyers money can buy my friends. I'm talking about Michael Jackson There the subway guy These were still the the white shoe law firm that I have out of New York City Basically can get me to fucking each child I want to legally

They know Roman for land He would have all their lawyers wear sear suckers and talk like with that uh the old like Yeah, Mark my my client If a man is supposed to believe that love has an age on it Well, man, I don't know what love is who said these numbers? Yeah, God Last time I checked God turned a woman into a woman which was 13 years old But that might just be Oh In the June religion this girl's prom photo pic it should be first wife material 50 year old you called that rap on the vine

Here's him watch him just bringing this pizza like oh man he even jucks around He's like this worked out man. He is shitty grid so excited. I said already with a girl my age I'm out the door like all for a hug and she goes I know like oh she's grossed out I came and I was not what she wanted and I'm getting I'm gonna out of here, but he really came in like He goes man we are going to fuck Man, I'm gonna rip you open This goes Goodbye high man

It makes you appreciate the the stage ready bags though. Yeah. After hearing the crinkle on that thing. Yeah. There's a lot of fucking producers that know what they're doing on TV. Yeah. Just maybe we really put a microphone right by that bag. I got fired. What did I tell you? What did I tell you about the Parmesan cheese mic? Did I tell you? Did I tell you how to fucking eat? Did I tell you not to put a microphone to the Doritos door? Yeah, what happened to you? What happened? I said you this is probably the second one. This is the second one.

Unusable. My crackle crackle. Yeah, I'd rather have a fleet of jets fly by. I'm the only one that I want to be able to wait for a train to pass. Shit. Shit audio. Cause there is, there's a sound guy that cares that works on this Yeah, I told you to let me mic this thing. Yeah, I'm have to have Charlie

You're fucking assistant do the Mikey from now on just get the fuck out of here the wires busted And I'll we got parmer John my good for you I've came over here three times and you've been in my life. You keep walking behind the fucking pedophile. Pause it for a second. This dude is one aside from like the mentally challenged people they've caught on the show before which are hilarious. Oh really? Oh yeah. The guy that catch two times in two days and the second time he comes out and goes when they catch me goes It's fantastic. I was thinking the show But the cops ever laughed off a pedophile. I got to do your hilarious get out of here

I don't want to blow anything, but it's visual anyway, so we're gonna have to call it out what it happens Just know where this is leading to is in front of Chris Hanson this guy starts just ripping a couple slices know where this is leading to is in front of Chris Hanson. This guy starts just ripping a couple slices. No, that's exciting. What? The fact that he lifts it up and he goes, you ever fucked a kid? You're talking a little bit of school,

don't you think that's anything else? I don't mean to be rude, you got any garlic sauce? If you're that rude, it's a real, you gotta feel good. Like this is crazy, but come on, you can't stop eating it. Yeah, I mean, this guy is, no, she's going. And what is he eat? Our Brooklyn style pepperoni pizza.

Oh, even a redder hand in a pedophile can't stop. Even a monster from God, a lax pizza. When the devil himself likes a pizza. Even in a walser adjust to break it in on you. You still enjoy the pizza. When you can feel Johnny Law breathing down your neck. Unless a Mario pizza. Mario's pizza for what the heat.

So right around the corner. It's so good. You want to fuck a kid and have a slice. He could get the herb box, but he got no! Open all box, it's as easy as you can get. Just as good before as after a pedophilia. And just like a dead kid, good cold. That's a little shout out to a necrophilia. Oh, so no, but a pizza.

That's my sister, necrophilia. So, so no, but it beats. That's my sister, necrophilia. It's gone on the vampire. Let me suck your blood. Starting off with just an awesome guest, the legendary Brian Regan. Hey. Just right out the block. Look at that. Are you surprised that our capacity crowd up thousands in here?

We're cheering for you like that. And I should acknowledge this wonderful audience here. Look at that. Are you surprised that our capacity crowd up thousands in here? We're cheering for you again. And I should acknowledge this wonderful audience here. Thank you all. We should tell you Brian, we're being broadcasted into a stadiums across the world. So you're hearing that. Do you think the last time a stack of fries was served at one of your shows?

Well, you know, it's been really ripped into a ribeye while you were here. I do this last time a Dunk of Chicken finger, probably. I remember being at Caroline's one time, and this is when I was at the tail end of doing the comedy clubs, and there was a guy at the front table, same table, that yours guess the stand at. They some say it's haunted. I think it's a possessed table.

I think it's a possessed table. Every story has to do with this one table. And it was a guy, heavy said guy, and I was doing pretty good. And the front table, you can see there in the pool of light. And Waitress brought a cheeseburger in front of him and set the cheeseburger down. And his eyes rolled into the back of his head. And the cheeseburger immediately became the headliner. And he'd like completely stopped looking at me and just turned and spent about 10 minutes

just loving every moment of that cheeseburger. And I just remember laughing to myself going, this is so bizarre. Yeah. It's comedy to a point. And then you have, and then you're doing comedy over people eating. And then when he was done with his cheeseburger, he like slid it away and look back up at me as if, all right, back to you. That is.

I say that I say that out loud on stage almost every weekend at this. But at least at one show where I just looked down and I just see somebody exactly cutting into a wedge salad or something. Do I feel like, why would you have something that's gonna cover the table in bacon pieces? To me, to me, the thing that doesn't make sense is, I can get over the food and the drink. It's when people are doing group long division

while I'm trying to do a bit, and they have the checks and they're like, you just watch that math happen and you're like, I can't win in this. You want to say one of you pay the tab when that work it out later. Yeah, yeah, work it out later. But to figure it out there is the most insulting thing as a performer going really and you can hear him going no no you I ordered the second pair but then I canceled it yeah I think you triple charge

you know what I was getting heckled by this weekend was what you didn't you couldn't even tell what they were saying it was just and you go are you guys are you guys good over there and they go where we're just figuring it out just you keep going yeah don't worry about us say, could you imagine if you went to a Broadway play, right? And in 20 minutes before it's over, some guy crouch down next to you and say, it's $75. It's a dessert.

It's a dessert. But that's what happens in a comedy club every night. A crescendo of some kind of, you're digging in their pockets while you're watching a final act of a Shakespearean play. That's the beauty of the theater though, is like they said again, they're always coming to see like you particularly or from recommend date, whatever it is, you know, they're coming to see a comedy show where it's a comedy, I mean like bombing or just hearing silence

in a room and hearing the sounds of, you know, a guy pulling gristle out of his mouth to wrap it in napkin or something or just, you know, just the sounds of fries being like pulverized by teeth jarring. I still hear it. Sometimes I heard when it goes completely silent. You just hear someone swishing around ice kins. Like you're impressing a bomb. Like you're impressing a bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, like is that all you have? This to bond. Yeah. And like you don't, you don't, you don't, you look at them. Like, you don't hear that. You don't hear what you're doing. You know, there's like, you suck. I don't know. Maybe make me like you more. I went to a years ago as a vacation and went to like this little town, like they had a, a play, you know, like a local community play. And it

was all these long tables with chairs. And whoever put on the play, it was just like in this old wooden like rustic structure and uh, but it's fun to see stuff like that. Well they put bowls of checks mix throughout the entire throughout the entire thing. So everybody sits down and all you're here, and I'm like, who approved this? The whole play, people were chewing on checks, man. You know what adds to Shakespeare, loud bar snacks. Yeah. We put some licorice nibs in that ball or something,

how about something soft to you or something? Soft to anything. And the chairs, the chairs were like metal, you know, metal, it was a concrete floor. So anybody that sat down or got up to use the restroom Sounds like a prison visit and then and then when they just sit down And this is a great production You guys really sus this room out

What was do you remember in your early days like just hell gig still to this? I mean I started in the in the black comedy circuit So I have so many just from being the one white guy in a place That would go haywire, but then let alone Then jumping in like the open mic scene and Performing abacements of place their places. They don't think you should have a microphone even you guys know Betty's fireside Betty's fireside was a gig in New Jersey and it was notorious for being a rough room And I had heard about it before I even moved to New York City.

And so I kind of looked forward to eventually playing Betty's fireside. Betty's fireside was a place where they had like a band and then in front of the band was the bartenders and then the bar and then the audience. The audience was all standing. So for comedy night, nobody was seated. Everybody it was just packed with people. And I heard that the room couldn't be rough. So they wanted me to be the first comedian. So I said, all right, fine. And I said, who does the off-stage intro? And they looked at me like I was from another point. On stage. What do you think you are? What do you think you are? You think you're in the I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry the three comedians and I said all right and I thought I had like enough chops where I could handle a rough room and so I just start walking up the steps to get on the stage and this guy from the corner in the back yells you suck And I'm not at the mic yet I can't I can't defend myself So I have to like look and wink like hey, I'll get to you in a second

Hang tight lunch. Hang on, I gotta get to the microphone. You have to have a politician a politician point where you go I hear what you're saying. I hear you. Give me a second. I gotta get to the sound system. There are issues. There are issues, sir So I'm still walking to the mic and a guy from the other side said we think he's stuck from over here, too So I was like double-barreled and uh, I got to the mic and a guy from the other side said, we think you suck from over here too. So I was like double barreled and I got to the mic and tried to nice guy it, which was the worst move. Yeah, you know, smell the fear. Oh, man, like, you know, I hit with the angle of, hey, come on, fellas.

Come on, I've got some lighthearted comedy jokes. I like to share with you you verbally put your hands on your hips guys Stop it boys boys boys and yelling is bad. Yeah, that's not right. Come on guys. You know that's not right Yeah, this is here everybody one of the first the first guests we ever had on this show is back for another visit. Please welcome David Tell. You have fans all over the country. So let me tell you, I was in LA, right?

And I had nothing to do. So I went downtown LA. They have this thing called the Death Museum. Have you guys heard of this? It's pretty cool. It's got like all the serial killer stuff in it. It's got like just weird like polaroids of like, just like weird deaths and like car accidents from like the 60s

And just like all this crazy stuff. You know the guys from the heavens gate that they called oh yeah They bought the bunk beds so you can like look in at these like dummies laying in the bunk beds So you can like and even that's kind of creepy. That's so rock and roll hall of faith Yeah, that's so but I said it was kind of like hot topic for adults You know it's kind of like this weird and a little goth people in there You know like the goth kids of LA or in there and I was like walking around with the old man And I was like waiting for one of the goth kids go like do you want to take me home and do that to me? Yeah, you're just looking at this skin lamp. She just sold it was all that kind of stuff

You should sold individual razor blades outside for all the sad girls like hey here you go You know you let some of that you let some of that pressure out of your thoughts. You'll feel better. Here's the best part. Here's a Dixie Cup for a rip. They go, hey, can we get a they had like my head shot? Like they just like download it and they go, can you sign this? And I go, you got to put it up on the wall like a dead career.

Yeah. That would be great. A new wing. Yeah. Put me right next to Toys Are Us. Yeah. Jeffrey is very graphic to stuff they show us. Yeah, it was really it was more than you thought it It's also like like they had a whole tape of an autopsy, you know like you get to see like from beginning to end

I don't know who was sitting there and then of course this you know the CG Allen stuff like all that kind of stuff in there And they say they have another one in New Orleans, which I assume is more That's all kata. It's all kata bodies. Oh, you want to see how a gator a Adam you want to a gigantic aider head You got a walk into the belly to see how the good all reptile death. Yeah, all this is serpentine Everything in here got cured or is a lizard. I tell you what I used to say that I think I want to see those things But I really don't want to know I tell you what the band from say that I think I want to see those things, but I really don't Know I tell you what the band from TV when I was spreading my friends out So he put on the tape band from TV and I remember the girl getting the bus The train I was like fuck and then there's the one right after that is

And this actually links into the story that we wanted to bring up for Dave But in Brazil there was a hostage situation and the guy took his stuff off and tried to act like a hostage and one of the federalis knew was him and Rony comes through they just fucking catch him with a shotgun in the chest Yeah, you see it like you watch him like slowly go down he goes down he's like Yeah, it all started a student getting shot in the chest Yeah, and the guy fucks up the suicide. Yeah, but there was that one it was a Philadelphia politician years ago to kill himself on live TV. That's right. Yeah, but there was that one, it was a Philadelphia politician years ago, they killed himself on live TV. That's right. Yeah. But I mean, we now have that in the museum. Yeah, but you're, but the thing is, I've actually gotten almost without even meeting to desensitize

the so much stuff that one of the jobs, like I can't the first be heading. I, well, I think I'd be heading a tough hard time with, but that first one that came out, the one that everyone sold, Yahoo, I forget his name, I feel terrible, but- Not Daniel Pearl, was it? Yeah, Daniel Pearl was the journalist. No, this guy was a good contractor or something, the first one they killed, and they showed the video came out, and it was like, you know, do not want, and I really was one of the only things ever when it was over, I was like, I wish I didn't see that. I really, but then we watched that video.

Everyone was getting, I feel like a weirdo. We watched the video of the girl hang out the window of the car, like showing her tits and then like, you know, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, you see like a teen, like you know her body's like limp and it ends right there. But I can watch that now without like, grimacing almost very weird. I don't know why you get de-centitized. You don't mean to because I'm like, it's horrible things. Yeah, but you like later in that,

like later when you go to sleep, then the image is like coming to your head. Like when you lower your filter, that's like whether it's just like popping. I wish cartoon, when I go on a hotel rooms, why do you, there itoon, when I go on a hotel rooms, do you, there it is, when you go to, so is she dead?

Yeah, yeah, okay, she's dead. When you go to sleep in hotels, there weren't hotel rooms a lot. I think Dan, you said you're all lights off, TV off, right? Yeah, everything. You go to bed, do you go to bed, everything off? Yeah, well, it really depends on the room.

If it's a suite, and I'm not saying that I rate a sweet But sometimes you play Vegas and they give you like that conference room area that creeps me out more than when it's I always go I just need like a little room. I don't need like that extra like you know I'm gonna have like planning oceans 11 I don't know what that is there more like I'm having a peace treaty Yeah, or something you guys some of the world leaders are getting tomorrow. It's like I'm meeting with the Legion of Doom Yeah, so I went to a hotel He wants where they had you like a weird board like board room attention

That was all and it's really funny to eat like a like a subway sandwich like at this day Look at all this sandwich for none of my friends, but yeah No, if I had that room then I'd have to keep a light on or two just because I want to know what's going on I always keep a light on I two, just because I wanna know what's going on. I'd always keep a light on, I keep the TV on with no volume. Weird. I keep a light on by the front door of it. The TV with no volume, and I watch cartoon,

the family guy type cartoons on my computer. What would happen if you turned it on like long? Like you just need that all night long just to keep you from... When I fall asleep eventually, the computer will just, it kinda does that like are you still watching this acknowledges but if I wake up for five minutes not even if I just wake up my

eyes and I see that it's that screen like continue watching or leave it off I always hit continue when it comes back really go back to sleep yeah wow Christine had to learn to sleep with you were sleeping the dark person she had to learn to sleep at home. You have to keep a light on not a light TV though. You keep a TV on why you sleep the entire time at night. It goes off eventually. You know that's like really bad for you. Why are you going fine? Yeah, they're saying like for your sleep cycle it's really bad to sleep and they think it's bad. How am I going to watch hell razor judgment? Yeah, well, that's a thing. Yeah. I can only watch horror movies late in a Christine Faust asleep and then for whatever reason her sleeping presence is the only thing that will save me from monsters.

Okay, so you're very powerful in your sleep. It's what I'm telling it's very weird. I would never watch a horror movie late night on the road. I don't never know. It wigs me out. I get that fear. Sometimes I walk a little fast getting out of the elevator, like a club quarters hotel in the sand frame where you stay.

How's it windy hallways? That's terrible. Something like that when you get off and it's just shining. It's just quiet and empty and you're just walking. And just hear, all you hear is your footsteps and you're bagged, swinging or whatever. And it's, and you're like, this is haunted. It has to be.

It wakes me up. I get very wiggled out. And then the ice machine goes and you're like this is haunted it has to be look at me away I get very wigged out and then the ice machine goes and you're like yeah my pants are crying you switch rooms because it was haunted dude straight up I think I could have haunted room too Vancouver if you move you have to move oh absolutely yeah I've I've I've heard from the comedy mix I don't know what it was I was trying to go to bed and I was lying there and I just it sounded like a pipe was dripping and then I walked and then the noise moved and it was, I was trying to go to bed and I was lying there and I just, it sounded like a pipe was dripping and then I walked and then the noise moved and it was fucking with me and I called out and I was like, can I move? I'm hearing something and I'm moving and I'm like, y'all sure of course! And then I moved rooms and slept great.

And did the day tell you it was haunted? No. I never found that out. Kind of just ran. I bet you there's a lot of people who are into that who would want to stay in the room because it's haunted. That's really weird to me when people are like, yeah, no, let's go to this haunted house and stay, you pay like 600 bucks the place, some way he got raped and murdered downstairs.

They're like, I'm good. That's like a weird people travel around to like these sites, you know? Yeah, that's a weird thing. Would you take a great deal on an apartment if like a junkie died there? No. No, I've actually like had like apartments

where people did die and all that kind of stuff. And they just now have to tell you, like that's part of it, like they have to tell you the record. But does it matter to you if it's someone just died in the bed of old age or heart attack? That's fine. You're okay with that, but if I'm murder, you wouldn't do that.

No, I would rather it be someone cooler than an old age person. Yeah. Yeah. I think this guy died getting his dick sucked and doing a fucking crack and their one of that would be good. That's a badass. If he's haunting me, that guy's a party.

Can I sleep in sunglasses? Hey, it's Big J.O.G. and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bonfire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 p.m. Eastern on Comedy Central Radio Series XM95 or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bond Fire at sexism. Thank you.