The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Himbos Podcast with Josh Adam Meyers & Justin Silver!

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

The Bonfire Presents: The Himbos Podcast with Josh Adam Meyers & Justin Silver! Today's episode:The Himbos explore dating apps and find out that Josh loves Raya, icing women's vaginas, and offending the room with flatulence.Making Himbros and Bimbros More AwesomeThought Himbos were nothing more than one dimensional, womanizing, egomaniac gym rats with sick tans? Well get ready to have the hair pomade slapped off your meticulously sculpted dome-quaff as self prodding comedians Josh Adam Meyers and Justin Silver redefine the term, taking you on a hilarious journey of self improvement for the body, mind and soul. Join them and their guests as they explore dating, fitness, personality tests, expert makeovers, anti aging protocols, philosophy, sex and science with their heartfelt banter that reveals the real sinue beneath the Himbo Physique@JoshAdamMeyers www.JoshAdamMeyers.com@IAmJustinSilver www.IAmJustinSilver.comStream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

We are the impose, we are not impose. We are the impose, we are not impose. We are the impose, we are not impose. We are the impose, we are not impose. Him, O body, Him, O mind, Him, O source, Him, O losses, Him, O fashions, Him, info losses, info fashions, info fitness, info mates, info science. We are the info's, we are not, we are the info's, we are not, we are not, we are the info's, we are the info's, we are the info's, we are not, we are not, we are the info's, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are, we are, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are not, we are not, we are, we are not, we are not, we are, we are, we are not, we are, we are not, we are, we are not, we are, we are not, we are not, I'm gonna tell you how to do your hair What is up everybody welcome back to the hymnbo's podcast. That's right. It's your boy You know me as the white the angelo

Okay, he's off. He's gonna get a bow. He's gonna get a bone dog dude. It is Justin Silver sitting across Carved at a granite the voice of a sweet baby angel That the Lord put in a closet with a carton of cigarettes teach a lesson Boba Reds Adam Myers what's up buddy? Hi him brothers and BIMs What's the what do we call the women again? Bros and BIMS. What do we call them, women again? BROs and BIMBROs. You know, I every time I hear that song, and I'm going to say this for DJ Lou, like when

I'm at the end when I'm like, we are the HIMBOs, HIMBOs, yeah. That's my Eddie Vetter. I can hear it. That's my Eddie Vetter. That's your free bird, buddy. That's the song is going to be the one that makes you. I'm sorry to tell you, but that's the truth. What's so great, what's so great is that I've all the listeners out there is that me and me and Justin like we have a dance for this now

Oh, and I lost my shit watching Justin do it you are so uncorinated for a him. Oh, I'm Coordinated, but you know, I take my clothes off when I do it We got the whole crew with us of course dripping with sexuality always DJ Lewitsky Hi, Lou, I thought you were gonna say hi. I thought you wanted to stop. I'll just go fuck myself No drop or nothing. Oh, okay Mama bear Christine Evans. I've always liked sleeping with strangers And of course the black king, black Lou. Before we get started, we got a lot to cover today.

This is going to be a very juicy episode. Lou, I love you so much and I appreciate you so much. And I was thinking about you said about your little Tyrannosaurus Rex arms and your back hair. I bought you a gift. I did. Oh man, where's mine? I bought you a man groomer did. Oh man, where's mine? I bought you don't need why bought you a man groomer

You're welcome. What are you talking about? I'm not dating anybody right now, so I have no girl to shave my back I'm the girl who's gonna shave your back. I'm not letting you shave my back. We're not there yet Come on, but we are not there yet. I'll get you one too. I'll get one for everybody. Yeah, that's a honnaka gift Yes, what I'd love you to do Lou is actually I'll get one for everybody. Yeah, that's a Hanukkah gift. Yes. What I'd love you to do, Lou, is actually shave your back hairs in the studio, and then I want to sell them as merch.

Is that possible? Nobody's tired of that taco meat. Very nice, Hayris. Thank you very much. You were very nice of you. You were very welcome, anything for you. We got a lot to cover, dude. I want to catch up on the week.

You made me laugh, my ass off. I found us at the Ramstein concert, and I'll post this picture to the Hymbo website. I went by myself to MetLife Stadium, took a Gribble Mushrooms as they usually do, and went to go see Ramstein, the German, yeah, there it is, the German sex band. See this, I never heard this before.

You never heard DoHost? This is it, right? This is, this is workout music, dude. You never heard DoHost? This is it, right? This is workout music, dude. How do you not like this? It's like concentration camp rave music. I mean, I'm way into it. They're very right down the middle.

They are not far right, which a lot of people think they are, even though their imagery is. It's German. Well, yeah, it's German. And like, if you saw the stage, it definitely looked like fucking Hitler Mordor, you know what I mean? They don't like a Ziegheil dance. No, no, but they do shoot you with a large metallic penis full of soap gizz Are they gay? They're they're Metro. They're definitely Metro Goth Metro sexual. They're all they were ripped now

They have let themselves go as the money is coming but the guy used the picture you sent me what were they like an Asless chat. So no, so the the so I moved to one side of the stage because I was just moving around because I didn't want to be stuck I was right up front and no I wasn't meeting dudes But I met too. I wish I would have taken a picture with these guys, but I took a picture behind them. And it literally was you and I, and they were decked out in like Mad Max beyond Thunderdome clothes.

No shirts on, no body hair. So that's what I mean. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, and then one guy had like these spike glasses on and the other dude had like a spiked bean mask. Don't know if they were gay. They could be straight and just into the sex party life that Laura Desiree is into as well. Yeah. I will post the picture to the Himbo social media. You guys will see it. It's literally I want you guys to tell me which one on the left or the right is me or J-bone. Did

you get their numbers? I told you I didn't meet them dude. I wanna hang with these guys. I know you do. You probably aren't even noticing. They're living in Chelsea. Can I tell you something? This reminds me. So in my neighborhood, my neighbors are these two doctors.

Like guys in their 60s, I see them in the morning, our dogs say hello, and then when I'm coming home from comedy at like three in the morning, I'll see them out there in the full like blue oyster bar get up. Yeah, just leather thongs on What's up? I wish I wish I was attracted to men. I wish they look like we're having easier They're having way more fun than any straight dude. Yes, especially with the topics We're gonna be talking about tonight, but we're not gonna get into that yet Okay, I want to thank all the people that came out to Albany to see me at the funny bone the shows were sold out

They were great the social media shits working. So I'll be in a bunch of places and Albany, I saw the picture you in the tank top of the lecha. Did you perform in that? It's not a tank top. That's a, that's a, that's a watching that picture. God no, dude. Okay. No. I, it was against our him. I don't wear tank tops. I wear jerseys and I wore I wear once a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and that the only reason I do it with that shirt was because it was an extra large than my friend gave me and I washed and washed and dried it and dried it Got to a size that I could enjoy and then remove the sleeves. It's a workout shirt. I did hotel gym work out there Did some I did some of the shit that big J the reason we're doing this. I did some fucking

Did some I did some of the shit that big J the reason we're doing this I did some fucking Scull crushers. I did some like some Some go fuck yourselves or whatever they're called. I don't know when you called me I have to be honest with you and you said Are you on the toilet right now and I lied to you and I said no I'm squeezing something out of a tube you were taking a shit I don't know if it was a late react and I Moly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly-ly You were taking a shit. I don't know if it was a late react and I apologize to all the bimbrose right now who view me as a sexual icon, but you know what we have to show the dirty, the dark side also here. I don't know if it was a late reaction to the barbecue we had on Monday, but I was like for three days, you know, like the Italian sculptures of the

cherubs, like pissing into the fountains. I was like that like squatting for the entire weekend. I didn't even know that that was possible. Really you got sick. Very sick. I was like how lean are you right now buddy. I was can I tell you I swear to God I swear to God I was like this is a good thing about having like fucking food poisoning. You look fucking shit through sick body. Dude, is the best. If you want. Sick body? If you're going to the beach,

if you go into the beach on like a weekend, on Monday, just let the chicken stay out of the refrigerator a little bit longer. Dude, cook it. You will be shredded. I was shredded when I did the Netflix taping because I got food poisoning the night before. So yeah, yeah man that dude

Sick body is the best I was sick I was sick off my ass dude. I was like a brittalfilter like it got to the point was like literally I didn't know like if I drank water that that simple water was out in two seconds There was I should have just dumped in the toilet. There's no point drinking it I knew it immediately I guess it was not mayonnaise or ketchup that was straight that simple water was out in two seconds. There was, I should've just dumped in the toilet. There's no point drinking it. I knew it immediately. I guess it was not mayonnaise or ketchup. That was straight.

Dude. I don't think he blaming the barbecue. I don't know when it was a couple days later and no one else got sick. I called you. I said, did anybody else get sick? It's me. I overdid it.

I fucking overdid it. I kept going on all the dips and all this up. When I'm at your house, you know what it's like? It's like being at a kid's house when I'm at your house. So I go in there and I'm like, oh, look at him, he's the Cheeket, all this kind of stuff. My refrigerator looks like I live with like a fucking rabbit that hasn't been there even for a week.

Your house sucks. My house sucks for food, but you know what, it doesn't suck, this is a bodzouche. Let me tell you, so I go to Christine's and I just start and then I just keep going and going and I made myself sick. You open up Justin's cabinets, all he has is chia seeds and craters. That's all he has.

And then I went up to Christine's and we had like a mommy and me time. Oh. We listen to what we listen to Toreamos. She, she on the 500, Tore? No. What? That's crazy. That's fucking crazy.

Name one Toreamos song that is that is better than anything else that's on the, I don't know any Toreamos except the one that's crazy that's fucking crazy name one Toriamos song that is that is better than anything else that's on the I don't know any Toriamos. I'm the one. Well then you just gotta say no all these Cornflake girl the whole the whole what say out what say I know we were listening up boys for payley It was like a little earthquake, dude You know what it is yet you didn't lose your virginity to a woman studies major like I did that's what you need I don't even know the girl who I lost my virginity to I think her name is Jennifer It was a myrtle beach. Oh, she's she's out there You know what I did can I tell you what I did. Yes, tell me any this is this is this is a great story

And this is such a himbo move that I think this is a great way to lead into dating We were all my friends clear out of the hotel room cuz me and her started hooking up We lay on the bed body body parts are coming out, close her off, and I, and right, she's about to take her panties off. She takes her panties off, then I can wait right here, and I run to the freezer, and I went and got an ice key. Yeah, you did.

And I, yeah. And I rubbed it on her vagina. Yes. Why? I know, not her nip. I never know. She didn't even move. I don't know. I don't know. No, I don't know.

I don't know. I watch. I watched a lot of those movies like nine and a half weeks and wild orchid. That's what I thought sex was. Rubbing ice on a pussy. Yep, I wanted to freeze it. I think this incase my penis was too large for her.

Let me tell you what you do if you're vagina itches. You're like, you know what? The fucking cream's not working. I'm just a bitch. If a girl, if a girl like, like drink something cold and then goes down, that, I'm into that. That feels good. Yeah, that's great. That's great. But I don't know if you want to freeze the vagina before you insert unless it's like

you're doing a procedure. I mean, numb this. Wait, did you dick come vagina before you insert, unless it's like you're doing a procedure. I mean, numb this. Wait, did you come out before you did this? I might, yeah, I think I might have had. You guys have been like, what is coming? I think I had on my, because at that time I was wearing like large,

I was wearing like, I bought all my clothes too big, so I was wearing like large Tommy Hill figure underwear. Like like boxers, not even boxer briefs, so they just look like swim trunks. Like like I was a kid at camp you go you go box a brief now though right box a brief all the way all the way black underwear I want to say this look like a fucking Lamborghini I want to say this to every dude that's out there if you are buying white underwear you know the ball who does that the balls on you who does white underwear over the age of 35? Who is anybody wearing wear it underwear in this room?

Lewitsky, don't come on. I know I look like I should be wearing it It wears diapers I wear stained white underwears always I love that you know it's gonna be stained now always I love that you know it's gonna be stained now Black underwear all the way to all my him brothers and Bim sisters. Oh, I'll do gray sometimes. I'll do red buddy I'll do colors. I'll go red. I'll go camouflage that way. It's like she's like something's coming out of the wild Alright Let's get into this topic today. My dick has PTSD from the water. Yeah, let's jump into it because I'm excited.

All right, buddy. Today's topic for all the singles out there. Oh, yeah, crank it. Dating apps. Ooh, this is what I've been wanting to tackle for a while because I feel like this is a question that a lot of people, we've got a ton. We've been getting a lot of questions from you guys about dating apps.

By the way, we had, you were right about this because we get a lot of questions and we got to keep, we're on a timeline when we do these. What I, what Josh suggested was that we compile all the questions and we just do an episode where it's just listening to questions. Yeah. So keep sending those in and we'll definitely get to them. So I did a little research. Yeah, hit us with the research.

I'm curious because I am, I am, I only use one app. You use all of them. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'll tell you what I do in this act. All right, good. But first, I'm going to drop a little science. What, boy, twenty, what? Chigawat!

So the average 30 year old spends 10 hours or more on their dating app profiles. And this is what I deduced from this, that it's an app, right? So it's designed to keep you on there, right? They have to sell ad space, that's what it is. So it's got this, it fucks with your dopamine reward system, just like any other app does, just like gaming does, like just like social media,

whenever you get a like, it's like you get that little dopamine hit. So anytime you get a rose or whatever the fuck it is, or a message from someone, it just keeps you on there. So it's like you get that little dope. So anytime you get a rose or whatever the fuck it is or a message from someone, it just keeps you on there. So it's almost like, you know, a slot machine with another person on the other end of it. On the other side of that is if someone's like sitting there feeling lonely late at night and they're just doing that to try to get that hit, you have a person doing the same thing

on the other end of it or you have somebody who's actually looking to meet somebody and then, you know, I think people tend to feel dismissed a lot and they feel like they're expendable. This is your disoverwhelmed. Yeah, you get like overwhelmed because there's just too many options up there. So when people say like, I hate dating apps, that's what they hate about them.

So people just have to be aware of that, I think. But other than that, like, you know, they're a useful tool, you can use them or you can get stuck in that thing, and I've gotten stuck in these words, like you just get into this like online relationship with somebody that can just kind of fucking go and go and go, and then while that's happening,

you're getting hundred more likes, or you're getting this many more matches, and it's like, by the time, you have to get off them and actually meet somebody if you're gonna use it to make it worthwhile. So it's important to get the fuck off of them and actually meet somebody if you're gonna use it to make it worthwhile. So it's important to get the fuck off of them and actually meet people. I say once you match, you do like conversation to get them talking.

And then immediately I'll go, I'll say if they're hot and I feel like they're, they get a joke because the big thing that I got from a comic and I had this, this situation, I wasn't getting many matches on Raya. And that's the only app that I got from a comic and I had this situation, I wasn't getting many matches on Raya. That's the only app that I use. Hinge, I don't like it. I can't get in Raya. Why not? Andrew Schultz recommended me.

That's from Schultz and you couldn't get in? Schultz I had a bunch of people do it. One point I think I asked Chris the lead to fucking recommend me. I was like, then I'll squash the fact that you stole a joke from me. Just, you know, just get me into writing. I don't use them that much because I get, I do the same thing that I just said that people get stuck in it. It's like, I'll just sit there, I'll match me.

And it's like, how many, I'd rather just meet people out in the wild. But I get, I mean, me people out in the wild. Yeah, I say hi to people. I mean, if you're doing shows, it's very easy. But the problem with that is they end up being way too young most of time. So that's not going to work out. But it depends what you're looking for. If you're just looking to sport fuck in whatever city you're in, what's your cut off?

Age wise. Yeah. Like, what are you, what are you putting on the dating apps? Let's take it that way. What are you, what's your range? I think I do. What do you, what's your range? I think I do... 30 to 37, something like that, but I would move it.

Wow. Why? Because I'm 23 to 40. But it depends what you're looking for. I started doing it with more intention where I'm like, I'd actually like to meet somebody for some long-term shit. You know what I'm saying?

But if I was just doing it to the sport fuck, it's like, yeah, I'd put it down to like 24. I don't like that you call it sport fuck. It's what it is. You put on some umbrose and some pants, you're like, let's fuck you. You it, bro. I help it.

But you know what I'm saying? It depends what you're looking for. What are you looking for right now? I'd like, at this point, I'm just like, I'd rather meet, I'd like to meet somebody that I could go long term with. It's like how many people are gonna fuck? I know that sounds like, I'm nauseous, but at a certain point, I'd like to meet somebody I could go long-term with. It's like how many people are gonna fuck? I know that sounds like...

Notches, but at a certain point, I'm like, who cares anymore? But it's so easy. If you want to just meet a bunch of young chicks, it's easy to do that, especially if you're performing. Yeah. Right? And then that never... And here's what ends up happening. And if I end up liking them, I'm like, fuck. Now, you know, the huge age gap does not work for long-term things for me

It doesn't I've dated I've dated some girls in their like mid to late 20 since I've been out here that I was like Think the the 23 year old she was I mean there was not she acted like an adult except for one night That she got drunk and I was like oh you're 23. Oh, no, I do when I do the 23 24 year old thing It's just like that charge to show itself really're 23. Oh, no, I do. When I do the 23, 24 year old thing, it's just like that charts just show itself really fucking quick. Yeah. It does. I mean, it's fun for a little while,

but then you're like, and then if you do a series of those, you're just like, all right, I get, if you get that out of your system, you get it out of your system. It's just out of my system. Like, have you seen the new episode are pretty little liars? You're like, I don't know what that is.

Dude, when they don't know who, when they, I showed this chick, I showed her method man. She's like, who's this, like a fitness guy? Oh, it's like, what? Listen, if you don't know, if you don't know, this how significant, nine inch nails doing hurt was, we can't talk about it.

I always say to them, I go, which color of Michael Jackson did you grow up with? And if they say, like real white, real white with weird nose, I go, fuck you too young. Yeah, you're way too young. Yeah. Yeah. You say, if you say off, like like a little off white,

you know what I mean? beige. Little beige. Apple 2C computer beige. Like Christine's making a vase. What? Twice. Who farted? Josh, you farted in the studio. Apple to see computer page like Christine's being a vase what Who farted just you fart in the studio. I took a stool softener. I'm sorry

You're farting in the studio vaping it away No Christine to mom of him that's crazy That's great. Lou you've noticed this What? How did you hear it? I don't know. Microphones, it's loud. Dude, we are not, this, you're not cutting this out. No. Okay. Did you hit your heart in the side?

Sorry. Josh, we're having a good conversation. What about your subordinate? It's fart. That's what you do when you get happy. It's wild. Oh, let me talk about my dating profile. Hi, when we're outside and you do it. It's like all right

This is like a thing he does. Oh, yeah Josh with his farting dude forget today's topic. What the fuck is the matter with you? I smell it. We're not friends anymore stop. We're going to Pearl Jam. I love Pearl I'm sorry guys So does farce don't smell I mean it brought me a little miss perfect I'm fucking smelled so bad in this room. I was like what the hell? No, it's making its way over here No, it's not dude. Everyone vape hard right now. All right, so what do you like tender? Dude I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I, so I took a stool softener earlier today. Oh, we got to get a doctor in here Yeah, I would like that because my poop looks good. It's just every other day. You take a picture of it

Sure, I might have a couple of my Send to J I want dick pics. I want pictures of you shit. I want to be close I have I have the best dick pic to send. I took it. Let me see it. Let me see right now Well, I've got a funny one that I'll send you guys a funny one. Yeah, it's wearing glasses in a mustache No, I I sent this to to my ex girlfriend Tessa This is it this was like years ago. It was like me like he go. This would be in a yak videos there It is that's a nice piece We see the mouth of the dick. dick is going by your mouth. Yeah, Josh

It's like but it just the way it's good thing, but it's it's the way that I shot it is is it looks like it's like laying on my shoulder Yeah, no, it's artistic. It's powerful. It's artistic. All right. What are we talking about before I forward it back? Sorry back to dating I'm somewhere we said we segwayed cuz you're ass no problem I'd rather find something long term, but I'd rather just I'd rather just meet people out in the wild But I get that a lot of people they can't do that. They're sitting, you know Everybody's unfuckin everybody's online. If you don't have like a social job, Lou, you've never, you talked about, you said before, you got, well, you've been with your chick forever. But you've never been on a dating app ever. No, I think I may have tried plenty of fish for like a

day. That's like a real one though, right? No, there was plenty of fish. And then okay, Cupid, that's my, my old roommate when I lived in Los Angeles, like in 2012, 13, was on that. He did very well. That's got me to want to do it, because it was free. And then Tinder, because like, Grindr was very popular with the gay,

so everybody was like, well, Tinder is like the straight Grindr, which is girls would meet up and fuck. I have never met one girl on Tinder. Here's what I hear from my female friends. They're like, guys are either, and this is like a cultural thing right now. Guys are either like, they're either Neanderthals or like,

Newdard House cats on there. They're like, okay, I like you, and if you like me, check this box. Yeah, where'd you want to go? And then they end up like leading the thing, or guys are just like, oh, you're cute. And then it's like dick pic right away. So you still have to be charming and, you know,

chivalrous and do all the things. So there's like, I think there's like, do's and don'ts. I think I'm starting with the pictures. Pictures are important. I think your profile picture you want to be your best. Like it shows you, shows your personality, it shows you looking good.

Tells a story. Tells a story. Tells a story. The pictures need to tell a story. When you go on a girl and it's like, here's her with her grandma and then here's all her, it's just all of her friends in every picture. You're like, who's your friend with the fucking nice guy? Yeah, you're the right.

I'm like, who's the grandma? Yeah. What's up, Bubby? I come, I never see you with the girl over there. Let's check and look at your profile. This is your head. This is your head,. Let's check it. Look at your profile. This is your hinge by the way. And by the way, I don't, I haven't gone on this thing in like forever. Perfect music.

I would say while we look at his profile, I was gonna say, put on a song that sounds like it's playing at an express in the mall. Like, were you by like, turtle neck you buy, you buy like turtle necks. So there you go, you got it, there you go, you got four, and we'll have to do this. It's an auditory, it's an auditory medium, but you can go to each individual one there. I got nice hands and picture up top, yeah.

That's a great, that's a great picture. You look, it's in black and white though. There you go. And you're opening lie, what's your cue to it? That's a good picture. No, they ask you questions. So it says, what does it say? The dorkiest thing about me is I read the dictionary and watch every documentary on Netflix

and study neuroscience for fun. Science. What? What? What? Science, baby. That's all true. And then there's me and Brutus because that's what you're going to get.

Then I got one look. There's me in a suit, so it's like, all right, if we're going out to dinner, we're doing something nice, like that's what I look like dressed up. Yeah? Yeah, that's a good idea. You like that one? Yeah, so it shows you can clean up. And then look, there's the honest question.

It says what you're looking for. Emotional intelligence, a beautiful smile and laughing arouses off on romantic trips with music blasting and dogs on the back of the car And in those videos they let you put videos see I can't wait to see the shot Oh the stay shot yeah, and that's the other thing It's like when people have there's one professional shot on there because it's like it's just me perform But those are all the things I do I think that picture looks like you are an extra from the movie of Bronx Tale.

Oh, yeah, 100%. I'm fucking half a guido. Oh, here's a video, and not great, you're shirt off. There it is. There it is. People have my shirt off. I'm under the waterline. It's me, teaching dogs how to swim in a pool.

The tannest I've ever seen you in my life, by the way. I am the white, the the angel. Where were you? Caracco? No, I was in a real place. I was at a friend's pool, but that's That's that's the white the angel right over there and then the other ones like a fucking workout thing Oh, no, you really have a workout video Absolutely, these these are the things I do Let's see. You get a sense of who I am, this is what I do. And these, you know, I match a ton,

but I don't actually meet that many people on it, because I'm like, it's a- Oh, Justin. Why did you do this, man? Hell yeah. And it's horrible. You can't even jump on that. It's the first one I've ever done.

And it's horrible for her. It's the first one I ever did. Oh, Justin. Oh, man. I've ever done! And it's horrible for her! It's the first one I ever did! Aw, Justin... Black-ish... ...and to it. I got a quick question. Go ahead. Can we get some of your, like, lovey-dovey scenes from high fidelity?

Put on there? Give a girl an idea what it's like to... I don't love with you. Hmm. Justin was... ...an odd choice. Also, hello. He was also a stand-up comedian.

Which, at the time, seemed, I don't know, vaguely intriguing. But Justin had a thing, you know, some qualities that made being around him exciting. Qualities like confidence and magnetism and a girlfriend. Yeah, he was kind of an asshole. There you go. So you get a little bit of everything. I think it's a little thirst-trappy. There's a little body stuff in there. I'm honest. That's bad, dude. That last part, yeah, man. No, I don't let it.

I think that is like the real difference between how I fight being a Himo and you embrace it. I embrace it. You will take your shirt off. I just do not like that. I'm not saying I get it. I get it. Because there's a lot of guys that do that.

Yeah, I'm wonderful. I use Raya. Raya's the famous people one? Yeah, Raya's a Josh's loud in the nightclub. I'm not loud in the fucking nightclub. Yeah. So the first picture is a real picture, but it's a good picture of me, but there is an app

that I found called Face App that I was stumbling across where you can just add a smile to it, Josh. Josh, and so I did it. Josh, I showed it to my friend and she was like, that's a great picture. I was like, is that, she's like, that's what you look like when you smile. Just use that. Wait, Josh. What?

Wait. You photoshopped a smile and you brought fun pictures. Yeah, I did. Josh. What? Wait. You photoshopped a smile and he picked up a pic. Yeah, I did. Josh. Luke, we were talking about Josh. He's such a fucking him, he does more him bow shit than I do in a way. Luke, vocalize what you're saying. I need to do is get in to get to that meeting and I'm gonna win them over because I'm good looking, I'm cute, I'm funny, I'm talented.

Yeah, but why don't you have any smiling pictures? Why do you have a cool and all your pictures? pictures? You're You're not smiling in that picture. You're not really smiling in that picture. No, I was but the Smite they just tuned it up a little bit. They tuned up to smile. Yeah, they just do what is the original picture look like you have to put them out as a size you're like a 16 year old girl You have to put them out as a side. You're like a 16 year old girl. Oh. Ah. Ah.

The nice picture you wearing cute little hat, it says, you should leave a comment and you wrote, if you can explain the plot to Tenant to me because I was lost. Quibi. Quibi. The plot of Tenant. All right, let's start.

That's that fucking nitpicking guy. I want to say I'm going to change it, right? I'll fart again. Just don't get me started. I'm going to start an English major all of a sudden get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get me started. I'm not gonna get and you take, let's go out and discuss the movie, I have no idea what happened. Or if they say no. That's a big jump.

Or I say, if they say no, I'd be like, well, let's have what we both watch it, and we try to see if we can understand the movie, and then we have something to talk about on the first day. How about we both read a book, and then we come and we do a report. I give our homework, yeah. This is you, crowd surfing, this is badass.

Great picture, that's a great picture. And this is the closest I'll get to showing my body. You see my little bare midriff exposed? Oh yeah. Yeah. I say just take it up. That's a great shot. That's from the jam crowd serving.

This is it, you get in a sense of who the guy is. We're telling a story. Next one. What else we got? We're gonna share this. You could have done different music for this. Who's that? It's me and DMX you and DMX. This is funny guys got a sense of humor and then what it says is would it say my simple pleasures? Music exercising the body

Before he was even started Lou. He's in such denial exercising in the body So I just got his emotional intelligence Josh I don't know. So I just got his emotional intelligence. Josh, let me just, you know, Josh is like me and Justin are so different. There's literally not one thing I would take. There's one thing I would take off this list and it's which sports team you like. It's music, exercise, body in the mind, growing as a person. I love you.

I wrote this in 2018 when I was going through my existential breakthrough. Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog,

dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog,

dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog,

dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, when we were born and you don't want to admit it. I love you buddy. I love you too. Dude, that's a great picture. That's a great picture. Almost a head shop and not professionally taken. Looks like you, fucking sexy, tight teeth. You're sitting on the head of a car. No, I'm at the comedy store.

No. Yeah, I swear to God. You're sitting on the head of a car. That's a comedy store. That's the comedy store railing. My biggest, what did I say? My biggest date failed. I was 22. I took a girl

I like to blues alley in Washington DC the bill was $180 my credit card was declined see this humility in it I see you're not you're not you're not pushing your chest out. I dig it. I dig it You get a sense of who he is it does look like you're trying to get work on like law and order. Please, if they're in, Dick Wolf is out there hire me, man. I, I want that so bad. All right, last one. Oh, there you go. Him with lecha. Him with lecha.

And then the bottom photo. Even your girl. Oh, yeah. Then there's, then there's the one professional shot. That's, that's Danny clinch. That's one of the Danny clinch shots. There you go. Now, I don't do well on hinge.

I also don't like the selection that's on hinge. I, somebody wants wants to all the same No, it's not no, it's not man. I tender hinge in bumble. I just don't if you unless you pay for it You don't get the good selection of girl. Can I say something? Do you meet these do you go out on dates? I'm on right. Yes, you have I do very well on right but when you say very well I don't mean just a lot of matches, because I expect that. I'm saying you actually meet up with them. I go out on a date with a Raya girl

at once every two weeks. So there you go. So do you find that both of you, like as far as even doing well on a dating app, do you meet more people at shows or on that? Yeah, but no, definitely at shows, but it's like, it's a different thing. It's different.

I'm different. I meet them on the apps, because I don't, I, you know, I usually, but it's like, it's a different thing. It's different. I'm different. I meet him on the apps. Because I don't, I, you know, I usually, usually it's like, if I'm getting, if I'm getting off of the seller, it's late, they're always on a date, they're drunk. And then if you're at like, if you're in a show, like I don't play good markets yet,

so I'm playing fucking, like Albany, New York, like I don't want to fuck a girl from Albany, you know what I mean? It's like, I'm sorry, if you live in Albany, right? You don't want to fuck a girl in those that aff a truck. I it's dude. It was that was We're gonna take her to Maggie McFly's to go eat I Get it I dude I listen You got I agree with you and there's time I meet when I do actually focus on it And I don't get lost in the fact that like there's all these matches that you make and you actually pick someone like

I'll do the thing where it's like if I'm if I'm gonna actually focus to meet somebody I'll stop Once I meet somebody master someone I kind of like I'm like I this is somebody I'd like to take out or actually meet Then I'll I'll get off the app so I stop looking at it So I actually commit to that and then I'll start up again like you got to cut it off because it is it's like a Yeah, I agree with that. It's because it is. It's like a fucking yeah. I agree with that. It's addictive like that. It's like a slide.

Listen, there's like, you know, the random, like, you know, BF Skinner, um, operand conditioning, random rewards are what people respond to the most with the animals or any living thing, which is why people go to Vegas. Like, you don't, you don't go to win. You, you pay to play. You don't play to win. But if you are looking just to get laid, then then stay on and just match.

And it's always going to be quantity over like you have to match. You have to go out with these girls. You have to get out of the talking period. Stop saying, Hey, try to be funny. Sometimes these girls don't give you anything to open with. So try to come up with it. Yeah, just use a line just to get it going. Something beautiful. Or look at their pictures of what they write and comment on something that they write so that there's something of substance there. And I always think when you're having a dialogue with them, the idea is to move the conversation forward to get

off of it. So you can like be quick, be funny, but the point is like to move toward a goal and not just like, you know, start building this relationship digitally because what ends up happening is you're projecting what you think who that person is based on just a picture you're not hearing their voice. That's another thing. I have to like, I'll always be like, hey, you know, after I'm texting them, I'll be like, I'm moving this on, I'm moving this, I'm moving this relationship forward with your number and then I'll move to text and then I'll like, I'll ask if I can call them because it's like I gotta hear someone's voice.

If someone shows up and they're like, hi, how are you? And they have that long island accent. I'm like, fuck dude. I can't be raging hard on, can't love that. Do you like that? No. No.

I don't want it, fuck friend, Dresher. I mean, either, do you know? That's like my number one turn off. Is that voice? There's a lot of voice. Everyone is, you know? That's like my number one turn off. Is that voice? There's a lot of moms voice. Every woman in my family, my mom's like, how come you don't take Jewish girls? I'm like, because of the sound of your voice

when you ask me the question. That's why. Think you have to find the app that works for you and just focus on that one, not be on more apps. Yeah. If Riot, which is hard to get into so let's just throw that out because I bet a lot of you guys aren't on Raya. Um we're not as cool as you Josh. I'm sorry. We're not so cool that we could just sit back and fart wherever the fuck we feel like. I'm sorry.

I'm I'm you know trust me. I wish I didn't fart. Me too. I wish that part wasn't in there. But like in all honesty brought on a lot of really fun laughs Thank God I did I do feel like the room is cleared completely. It's gone, but I've had to fart again And I am just holding it and that's bad for you. So all right So what are what are you mad at us? Let's do some listener questions. Let's just let's hear what the him brothers have to say It's the him bro's and the bimbo I call him brothers. I call them him brothers. You can do whatever you can. All right, we actually have one. It's not a dating app question, but it's a sexual nature. And this question kind of want to help this dude. I don't really have any answers for this, but listen to this one. Him bros, I need help.

I have an unusually thick penis, a little over seven inches in girth. And I'm trying to figure out when and how to bring that up with women. I'm dating. I have tried saying nothing, which leads to figure out when and how to bring that up with women I'm dating. I have tried saying nothing which leads to awkward experiences when they see it. There have been times where women see it and then no longer want to do anything sexual as they feel it's too thick.

I've been flat out told they can't date me because of it, surprisingly saying that if a jaina is meant to stretch to allow a baby to come out isn't a helpful comment. I tried bringing it up earlier, or I've tried bringing it up earlier, which does seem to help, but it feels braggadocious and douchey, and I've yet to find a way to bring it up naturally. This also impacts my mental sex game, as I'm constantly worried about my partner being in pain, so I'm overly gentle, and it sometimes can cause me to lose my erection. Himbo's helped me out. This guy sounds like a sweetheart. Oh man.

He sounds like a nice guy. I need it. What's seven inches in girth? I need a pick. I need a pick. I gotta see what a seven inch girth. Does it come with a pick? No, but you know what a soup can't dig.

Looks like you've watched porn. Man. Seven inches is like, like, dear, I mean, that's fucking big. Have you ever been, Christina, go to you on this. I'm trying to see what that looks like. I'm assuming, I'm assuming my wrist. Yeah, like the side of my wrist. That's what I was thinking.

Fuck, man, you have a fucking hog, dude. And I'm, that's gonna get bitten a lot. Coke dick. Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna go bitten a lot. Coke dick. Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna go to the black eye on this one because for obvious reasons, black glue. Yeah. You have any advice for this guy?

No advice. I have enough on that. Good luck. I think, I think, you know, so his question is, how do you turn that up? How do you bring it up? You have to get, when you get to the place that you know, you're going to have sex.

Like you know it. Win them over in the date, be charismatic, be a gentleman, be everything you can be to do be your best self. But when you you're like, you're going, if you're going back to your place, you're sitting on the couch, couch and Netflix and chilling, I mean, you, as if the hand starts getting closer to it, you might have to stop it and just- No, like, no, she should let him because that way they get a sense of what's under there. When they're grinding and that kind of thing, she's gonna feel like how fucking big, how thick this thing is.

She's gonna feel a thicknesses. He's gotta, here's where he's at. He's gotta, Jesus, those are seven inch thick pe- Wow. That's a lot. That's a thick dick, dude. I don't think women want a penis as big. They don't.

Christine. I mean. It isn't like what I thought it was gonna be. I thought it was gonna be a little more. Well, this is not his. Look to the one on the left. This one. Yes.

Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, that's like seven inches. That's a lot. You gotta find it. Listen, man, it's like women have imperfections in their body and weird things, and then you find out later, and then it's like, if you care about them, if she cares about you, she'll, you know, get a stretcher.

Like, you know, the shoe treat, like a shoot treat thing that stretch, if your shoes are like a size too small, you can put them in and screw them to stretch the stretcher to shoot out. She's, if she loves you, she'll get a shoot treat stretcher. I love that. That's my answer. I love that he just said that, that his like argument is,

vagina's are supposed to stretch with the baby. Where you going? where you going? Where you going You don't do we don't you enough kids one day? It's not gonna be a relationship and there's someone gives you shit about you, but that's a lot start doing porn dude start doing porn That's your response. I don't know. I mean cuz I have a regular I don't know I'm a friend a warner girl about my day. I have a regular penis. Yeah, I have a regular penis. Regular penis. Just a regular penis. It just goes to work every day.

I say own a clock. Clocs in, clocks out. Own it. Be proud of your thickness, man. You know, like if the chick's got like, if the chick's got really big boobs, she would show them off a little bit. You get a sense of who they are, right?

He should wear things that show it off so he knows earlier on. Tight little tennis shorts. Go on dates, don't wear on the wearwear bouncer. Like let it be known very early on so you don't get your heart broken later. Yeah. This is going really good. And then you're trying to fucking

back up a Mack truck into a tight little Volkswagen car port. First date, you should mow the lawn in front of her and then sit on the couch like my dad Used to do wearing short shorts and have your dicks fill out the side of it That explains a lot That's what happened good for you dude. Hey man big ups. You should be proud of it B.D.E You are a level for him brother. We say own it. We say own it here this weekend I'll be at JFL Toronto, July 23rd through the 25th,

October 6th through the 8th, I'll be at Comics Roadhouse, I mean, he can sign, and then I'll be at Skankfest, the 14th, 15th and 16th, and then St. Louis Funnybone, the 20th through the 22nd, and I got more and more dates. Josh AdamDMires.com for tickets at JoshAdDMires on AllSage. Yes, and for me, it's I am Justin Silver on all social media platforms, I am JustinSilver.com. I will have just come off the road in Florida for this one. I got Utica coming up, I got Connecticut coming up,

but my dates are like shuffling all around, so just go to my website or just look on social media And I'll just I'll post all that. Thank you so much for submitting your questions We're definitely gonna do a listener question episode only and with that Josh drop a little philosophy on everybody This is a very apropos with today's episode and it's not incredibly well-known philosopher like Nietzsche or Aristotle. This is from Jenny McCarthy. Oh! My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.

Josh! Who fucking nailed it? Thank you. That is our episode. Yes. Yes. Yes. That is our episode. Thank you so much for joining us on Himbos. We will see you next week.

Love you guys. Bye!