The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Hunt Continues (feat. Aaron Berg)

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

midroll- 19:19 Aaron Berg joins The Bonfire and the guys talk about the new show Adults Adopting Adults, go over Aaron's past sexual encounters & listen to the comments of a predator's mother as he's being caught!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Welcome back to the Bonfire Series XM. So, that was that me. Faxch Talk 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Ocarson.

Joining us, you can catch him at Zany's Nashville February 9th and his new podcast, Burst Base on Gas Digital. Wednesday's at 10 p.m. at Tierenberg. Look, guys. Scobalim, baby. Scobalim, baby. Scobalim, baby. Welcome back to the show.

When I was a jiggle, we would always sing that right after we got paid. Nice. So it's, it's, it's, it's crazy that you're talking about. So we watched the preview for the show on A and E called Adults Adopting Adults. that red after we got paid. Nice. So, it's sure they're rich couple warm so we're guys and my question Well, that was a question of the point I made I'd say the odds I Have to assume in your world burger some point you fucked a woman for money that is good woman has paid you for money That is correct. She has paid me for money. How she's fucked you for money. She code me for sex paid you for sex. It's happened a couple times

every time Just a horrific looking older woman correct me. Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. Yeah, yeah, it's gozy Both because at my point was saying even like a street hooker. Yeah Scooby-Dope is it? Even like a street hooker the percentage of guys who are at least just passably the percentage of guys who are at least just passably pleasant looking is much higher. A jiggle though has, I think it's over 100 on attractive. The best thing I think you might get is like

an old lady who sucks great dick. What young hot chick is ever calling a jiggle though? You don't go young hot, but I mean they weren't, look, I've been with some pretty hideous lady. Sure, sure. The most hideous of all, the number one one that I had. Oh, that I would assume. Was a 50 year old Russian mobster's wife.

She was cheating on the husband. That's gotta be terrifying for you. Yeah, it was a little terrifying. But you're young, you're 23 full of roids. You're like, I'm gonna live forever. The mafia's not real. I got a leather vest and jean shorts. There's no Russian Moffee in Canada.

Apparently the one. Well, saying, you just test your tell yourself. You're like, is that even a thing here, eh? When you're bodybuilding, you think you're tough even though you can barely fight. Sure. It's like I'll take anybody. It's so funny growing up with my stepfather

being friends with so many bodybuilders because I said that ago, these guys are the toughest guys and he was like, no, he's like the power lifters and the being a little bit of tougher guy. He goes, the bodybuilders because I said that ago. He's got sort of tough as guys and he was like, no, he's like the power lifters and the being a little bit of tougher guy because the bodybuilders can't move their limbs. Yeah. The way they build, like they really,

it's like their mobility is crazy. Watch a bodybuilder trying to play basketball or some kind of a great sport is one of the funniest things in the world. Me trying to dance, dancing even like a real like, it's like, have you ever seen me dance? I'm so bad at dance. I'm so bad I'm so bad I step really quickly like watch

I just wag dick yeah, and I have no sense of rhythm and my wife good Why do you just bounce all the time? Yeah, you're moving. I'm not a room. I have no rhythm So you so when you fuck this mobster's wife, she was 50 and just what? It was just destructive. I was kind of like, it was weird, because she, I don't think she could get as the ladies love this word moist.

So she brought her own like, lubriderm lotion that she used instead and just kind of like tough to make pussy date. You give me winter, I make you a little warm candy Take a mitt full of glove oil and put it inside my love clam and then you will go to town I bet you she oils it like a like a man I throw a voice to pussy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, was like this pimped out bad. I thought but it had cockroaches. Really? This is disgusting. How you'll leave like this? No, but when she came over,

were you like, so when did you find out she was a Russian mobster's wife? My buddy French kiss, uh, who I've never been able to find since then. His real name is Gary. I won't say that. Shout out to Gary's. Gary's that Gary's leaving never come back. Gary, amazing stripper, hair piece, long hair piece. So you couldn't even tell it was a hair piece. Like the one I had when I looked like Piven.

Yeah. But he had a long hair piece and he had her and he's, and we were buddies. Like we would have three ways with girls all the time, but it wasn't gay. We'd just stare at each other while we were Yeah, he uh, you push each other's asses into the woman Call me kiss call me kiss French kiss

Do it's kiss right now French fucking kiss you right Gary Gary's out there on the streets French kiss Your character is getting this kind of gay shit. Yeah, this is French kiss Terry. Don't do this French kiss has no boundaries This kind of gay shit. Yeah, this is French kids Terry. Don't do this. French kids has no boundaries. Yeah, your French kids is lawless. Gary straight as a priest in Rome.

So we would do it. And he's like, bro, you got to you should hook up with him. Sick of banging and she would take him everywhere. She bought him leather jackets, took him to Vegas. This is back when Versace Cologne was big. Sure. She bought me all different all three Versace Colognes. She's a real sugar mama.

And I took her back and I had sex with her. Was it great? No. Why? Because the smell of the lotion is what I remember. Like it was real just like Luberderm. It wasn't even, you should put like, she put like, ointment on.

You could get like love lotion back there. You know, smell like cherry and stuff. This was just like Luberderm. Oh, was she hot? She wasn't horrific. She was like a mobster's wife. She was blonde. She was very over the top, like dressed in Versace had these heels. When you were walking with her, people knew you were fucking her for money. Like was her body great or good? It was not bad. Like she's like, I have personal training. But I think that's again again, a more of a rare occurrence.

I'm saying those guys in that TV show, like Jiggle O's, who were doing, I bet it's just like, it's bull. On the show, they make it like a top-chick, but there's just old ladies who are pecking. Yeah, and it's, go with me to dinner and then suck my ass and then get out of here. It's not bad.

It hasn't, no, I don't think it's the worst thing. I said, I think they could probably wait a compartmentalize to the good parts. I mean, she was an older lady, so she gave a great blowjob. She did this. She did whatever. She's nice to talk to.

Some guys will say that. Yeah, and her body's actually surprisingly not terrible for whatever. Because she expected to just be a little rich. But it's never like, it's the, I'm telling you, a street walking hooker has Yeah has a higher quality content Then I even though they have to also do I said the guy who's got like fucking moles coming off of his face. Yeah, crazy shit

There's a lot of that and I bet Mail jiggle. I bet that's gonna be the worst when someone's like will you go fuck this lady who's just like you know us A normal size head, but a an emaciated body in a wheelchair? Yeah, and you have to go make her feel beautiful. Yes, you're so sick. Dude, I know you're lying. God, you're fucking, just the way you lay there gets my cock so hard. Oh, Aaron, there it is.

There, get your feet into bed of the way. Was there ever a woman? I don't know if I'm wet, feel. Oh, I could be letting out urine. Would you? Would you have my colostomy bag? Was it if it's empty? I'm definitely wet.

That's so, my pussy's so wet for you. Check the bag. Check the bag. Yep, that's you. I spilled my slurpee you brought me Are you in me? I have no idea the room is bouncing are you giving it to me daddy? I do calligraphy with my eyeballs Yeah, I have to have we done anal I Don't know do you like my tight holes? I don't know if you're in me wrong hole JK ha ha ha I can't tell me in before you leave let me know what gets you off you can

kick me down the stairs my children only want my money but I will leave it to you yeah come inside me and tie my legs and a knot so I get pregnant stretch on strong me Don't shake me up and down to drip me out. I want your man Put inside of me like a little one a kids project put four suction cups on my limbs and hang me on the window like a garfield I hate Mondays was there ever a woman? Mondays. Was there ever a woman? Was there ever a woman? Lasagna. Oh god damn it. I hate you, normal. Was there ever a, was there ever a woman that you fucked for money that you were like, I don't know that back for free? My wife. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I once, uh, pay, I lived in a small town called Frederickton, New

Brunswick, and I just stopped stripping, so I had no social ability, so I would hire prostitutes on occasion. And there were $120, I would get them through Triple A escort, and in the yellow pages. And this girl came, she was a blonde girl with a fur coat, and she showed up, and she's like, am I what you'd like? And I go, yeah, and she came in, took her fur coat off, had no clothes on. Massive jugss big woman and Like your sultry voice. Yeah, get into it. Everything was sticky. No, yeah, that coat came off

I started I rose to the occasion I grabbed a condom and she said are you sure you need that? Damn, I think I'd better just in case Damn, I think I'd better just in case Didn't case this kills you. You know what my seam inside. Yeah, case. I decide to do a little choke art That's what I call it. Choke art. They call me burg the ripper. Oh It's cool he goes you she goes would you mind? Uh changing music is every one of you says that. Yeah, one. That's the one over here. Every one of you says that. Excuse me.

Can I actually get up? Can I actually get up? I'm a show killer. Probably put your head in your lap. He goes, oh, this hair is going to be really nice in my collection. Oh, your skin is so soft. So she was like, do you want me to, you don't have to bag it up

if you don't want it? I bagged it up. And then she goes, why are you in such good shape? I had dreads at the time because I just came back from a river and white guy dreads with beads in there. So you were hurt, you were her bowdare. The thought of those, the thought of those jumping around is you bang her out.

It's like, Fucking white Rick James. She was a voice of shock. She's like, I'm in the curtain. I've always wanted to fuck Gary Oldman from True Romance. What keeps reminding me of a car walk? Hey, someone's phone in beads or something? She's going on. That's great dude.

And she was like, she's like, I wanna see you again. And I go, yeah, what about who do I call? She goes, nah, nah, nah, I just, I wanna see you again. Like, are you dating anyone? And I was like, no, and she's like, I wanna spend time with you.

So she did it. So she'd come over for free. She was like this really sexy. And then I got sick of it. And I was like, I need to write my paper on free will versus ex descents. So it's so nice. And she was like this really sexy and then I got sick of it and I was like I need to write my paper on free will versus ex-desense Nice and she was like cool, then I guess I'll leave back to the dangerous life She took a bus back to Halifax street animal. Yeah, good job that coat. We tried you chewed on all the furniture

Now I gotta let you go you pissed right in the middle of the kitchen Yeah, I had one girl that paid me $50 to blow me and I had nowhere to take her So I took her to a parking got covered in mosquito bites and she blew me a page you to blow you isn't that insane? Now it's like I got to throw money at Christine Why it's it was fucking right here this guy Like here you go here. I'm walking like in good fellow you go. Here's a walkin' like, in good fellas, I just take a load. Do you know that, eh? Eh?

Christina, guard where you're loaded, go 50 dollars, 50 dollars, probably. Yeah. So, I probably go split this through my pouch. 60 bucks? 50 bucks, 20 bucks. 60 bucks. Because, also, you go out of iron in your body.

Someone drinks pineapple juice Just tastes like a high-tube my wife blew me in the shower and like pretended to kind of swallow But then just like like that spit it out the side and then ran her mouth under the tap like just Watching it off immediately Christ, I told you fucking about it. I forgot to come my smalls my Prom weekend getting blown in a shower. So it was just a small stall Christ, I told you I fucking better never gonna come. My smalls my prom weekend Getting blown in a shower. So it was a small stall Poor girls blowing me and I just pumped my it was I was so new to fucking I think maybe my second or third time fucking

I pumped my hips when I was gonna come and it thud in her head Everything was wrong that we. My prom weekend was the whole thing. That was when she goes, she loves tapioca pudding and she wanted to do like food, sex shit, which I was just, I don't do that now. I certainly wasn't ready for it then. And I told you that when she just fucking Abe Lincoln had it, my dick with a snack pack of tapioca pudding. And those clear, like the heat of my dick and bone or in young sexual aggression It just melted down into my beave and then my beef had those little fucking beads and them do so Dazzled be like fucking it was like a dead and pubes for a vitamin E pills

I'll bubble tea dick She goes I love tapioca putting and then I go you gotta get this off. It's sticky. I hate it. It's fun. And she goes, I love tap you, okay, put it in, and then I go, you gotta get this off it's sticky. I hate it. It was like running up my ass. Why, why, why? You do that, it's so young. She was it young, she was 22.

She was older and she was like, she was already, I guess, tried all this kind of stuff and she was like, food plate, I was like, that's not my thing. And then I clunked her head in the shower while she blew me. And then we fucked her into the boardwalk and As I was getting my fat body between her legs trying to like with my pants like remind you know my whatever shorts Rev my knees or whatever and in like the scooching up towards her I just need a pile of sand on their place and then shoved in a sand cover Conta my noris that this poor girl put up with a lot. It's insane when I told her I was dating someone else

that she freaked out. Yeah. She told me, I think I told you before. She was like, oh, we're just kind of like hooking up. Oh, yeah. I'm building your confidence. You're a great dude. And like, I wouldn't be confident in the work.

So I was sad, fat shit. Yeah. She said, no, you're great. And we fucked for months. And then I got this confidence and I asked this girl. And I was like, you know, I asked this girl. And she said, yes. And she's like, what? I thought we were together. I'm like, you know, I asked this girl and she said, yes, and she's like, what?

I thought we were together. I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm the idiot who need to say it. You told me you would, oh, man. I thought we were together. We had the last couple of seconds of adults watching adults commercial. Oh, I think then we get to the end.

We finished. Oh, it's right. That's all they have. So good, because that brings us to So Jay loves amateur pedophile hunters We've watched it several times on the show these guys that trap guys into thinking they're talking to kids Yeah, basically to catch a predator, but a guy doesn't on a YouTube channel. Okay, Jay's like to help Guys couple guys got shot that shut down. They've been doing some illegal shit. Okay, the guy got shut down They're doing the problem is the guy that got shut down

I don't know how many others got shut down, but he got shut down because he was bullying gay Quote on quote-unquote pedophiles Technical pedophiles, but he would try to get guys that are 20 something Sometimes older, but like for the most part was a younger guys who were there to meet like a 15 14 year old boy fucked up for sure But also like I said I think it's just kind of how that goes a lot and it's not as like but he's also more than that He's picking his marks because you're you're now you're picking on a guy who's like a gay effeminate nervous Whatever a lot of times, you know, I mean like they're just like living a double life like they they're think they're called on so many levels You know, I mean okay

This guy is a big moose of a dude and he He goes after guys who are trying to fuck like little girls and they might be big and scary and they might be all kinds of things They tend to be like schlubby losers. Yeah be all kinds of things. They tend to be like schlubby losers. Yeah. But this guy, but he placates them a lot and plays along with them. And he just basically reads them his thing. This guy Jamie Daniels. So he, he, Jay showed me a little bit of the video before and this guy's a fucking creator. Yeah. Gordon Flowers. I forget his, his real name is something else, Chet something also maybe, but he's, he does this thing and he was showing this guy's twerk, this is his messages, his text messages with the supposedly

fake eight year old girl. Okay. And I still get one. He goes, he's supposed to have her meet him at the steakhouse he works at. Goaks dudes. Dude's steakhouse. Dude's steakhouse. Yeah. And she goes, yes, I'm coming for sure. at the steakhouse he works at. Cokes. Dudes. Dudes steakhouse. Dudes steakhouse.

Yeah. And she goes, yes, I'm coming for sure. He says, mommy won't be, this is what they write for the decoy. And he's still in. Mommy won't be suspicious if I say I have to poo when I go to the bathroom. I always take forever to poo.

Yeah, me and you, sister. Three days in. I'm cost-pated for three days. I got fucking laxatives. Why? I don't know yeah everyone's in a walk Christine yells in the bathroom she goes what are you fucking a guy a dude stay what do you meet number the fake little girl and a dude stay like you

fucked his open ass and then lit a match Jesus so they they show you these texts simply to show you that like because you're gonna feel bad always for a guy because they get they run up on a guy and basically ruin his life. Okay, but they have to show you like we're ruining a piece of shit's life. Yeah, that's what they show you this but this particular video. Why bring it because people are over here and we talk about these inner these amateur pedophosting I love them but. The crowd doesn't want to hear about them constantly, which is fine However, when I find something it's show worthy shit you got it you got it. Okay. We have something on the lost tapes this week

That's another funny thing. Yeah, he found two things one of them was a guy and we talked about it on the Thursday show He Names a comedian he was going to see so we look at that comedian and like watch all the shit turns out He's like a Christian comedian and it's like of course this is what a pedophile would like Yeah, they say they leave his name in the video to he goes. We're gonna go see it's we say his name Yeah, we're gonna see tray Kennedy and the guy goes who's that he goes? comedian and we look up the comedians look about yeah, it's like a Christian comic Big YouTube star so on this one one, though, nobody bitch.

And nobody, no, Pito's going to see a talar. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like it. He jokes around about pedophile. Yeah. Pedophilia. You should horrible.

He says, fuck. So that's the word fuck. And Jacob, you can see the video, right? We'll put the video out. Of course, uh, at the bomb fire, SXM, but you have to, this guy gets caught with his mom's there. He lives with his mom. He's a morbidly obese guy, lives with his mom.

And we get to see video of this? Oh yeah. Oh, there's all videos. They're all videos. Because we had a shady guy calling to our show and he was like a VR guy and he's like, how about they're trying to bust pedophiles and I was like, you sound like a pedophileophile. Well a lot of times these guys are shady

Sorry guys. I have I got to see this well this guy was it open with the girl poo in No, no, no, no, she's not real dude. Yeah, sorry So we're gonna see a naked eight-year-old That's not what these are oh my god. I think we just trapped here That's not what these are. Oh my God, I think we just trapped here in the... We got a kid. I love dudes. Have you guys had the A-Dance for a lay there?

He goes, go for the steak, stay for the children in the bathroom. He goes, I'll go. The motto of dudes steak, House. Parents never ask how long your kids are pooing. I'm gonna tell you right now, you get to Tomahawk, a little, O'Grotton potatoes, head to the bathroom, get finger at nice eight year old girl, and then you hit the road.

It's not on the menu, but get the chimichurri sauce. Do it. Ask, they'll know what you're there for. What you're there for? So, he goes into the sky's house, they've caught him. He's gonna read him all of his things, but what's this video's great for? And it doesn't matter where we go.

Start at the beginning of her But his mom one looks like beezer Brian six and a wig which makes me laugh and she Is smiling the whole time at a pure nervous energy and hearing about what a piece of garbage her son is yeah, and she chimes in Every second. Oh my god. I got and she is so funny Go ahead. Hey, wonder if you have a seat right there? Yeah, good for her. No, no, no, I gotta talk to you, man. Go ahead.

Okay, so you see all these that I have right here? She's all these pictures. Do you recognize this picture right here of you and this girl right here? How old is this girl? Oh, no. No, no girls What did she say? He has a good no girls. Oh, Jesus Christ. There's a picture of him in this girl right here who's eight years old You're are you the mother? Yes, I'm his mother. Yep, so He sent all these pictures to this eight-year-old girl

Now So we need to have a talk Ah yeah Ben trying to fuck kids again That's such a mess That's my how my mom reacted when I got Ds and Fs Damn, you can do better than this, Jamie Daniel William So, Daniel Edward Richards Soder Are you showing your penis to 9 year old girls again?

Mom, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, writer. Yeah, oh, she's very sultry. Do they're so dumb? At one point he says, he goes, yeah, because he's reading this, he'll read this guy's thing. And he goes, you're a good writer. You should wear the romance novels. And then all goes, he doesn't need any of that shit. Yeah, he doesn't know that shit. She's golden.

God, play some more. I have a note that. I know, I have I know That's for me I know rapist to Santa is gonna be all the naughty voices here, huh? Wait go back. All right, you said Instagram's bad for me. Yeah, they try to just like you know go to yeah, yeah, you're right Sorry, I'll stop Yeah, I know rapist to Santa's gonna be on the naughty list this year, huh? All right, so uh, uh, what is your name? My name's Alex nice to meet you, ma'am Alex. Do you work with

Jamie? Or no, this is a different thing. No, so he was texting an eight year old girl and we caught him. So we know you work, we know where you work, We know everything. Why are you chaping this? Why? Because your son's a fucking monster. Well, he always says for our safety and his safety, that's the move. So just so I can't say Jamie sat on me and killed me. And just so you can't say we've heard him or anything. You know what I mean? It's funny though. She is still a mom.

So she does get to a point of those jokes where she goes, you're not so skinny yourself there pal coming here call my son names This guy should be funny or two Yeah, your son doesn't sit on me. Oh, he's on the nose, but he is I Don't know he's gonna right. He definitely needs a writer, but he's got the balls to do this because it's a dangerous scary situation. Okay sure, but good His mom is golden. We know we're working everything So how was the Grotier texting, please be honest about everything Because if you're not honest

Eight years old Hey Mouching What do you want to do with her? Deep. No. Melchon? So you, you were all going, ah, Jamie. Yeah, you wanted to eat your ass, did you? Jamie, you know you're a poo eating monster. You know you're my little shit shoveling weirdo. Jamie, don't lie to the man.

You love fecal matter. You know another little girl you want to hang out while she pews. Oh, come on. Jesus, you're a poop cut in machines. Something you make me go, I'd take you to the public pool and you drink the water when the kids would piss. You love filth, you love piss, you love shit. You're your mom's boy.

Only thing you hate is sleeves. You hate sleeves and putting stuff away in your living room. Dude, wait until you see the picture he sent, what he thought was an eight year old girl. It's that shirt. No, this a hundred percent real yeah the mom yes the mother backs up that he never showers and cleans himself you don't think so then no I think it's a hundred percent really this is so fucking disturbed that's right it's crazy there's all there's by the way there's 50 of these guys this guy look at this fucking hillbilly fuck I I know dude. He's just getting all the eight year old pussy Am I right? It's guys crashing it. Yeah, he tells women his shave

He tells a little girls he shaved down Santa There's the only time I was like this guy can go on somewhere though and go like no that other girl was just sex practice I'm really in love with you. That's what he's like saying to this like eight year old he thinks I'm super in love with you and he's dumb enough To also believe that an eight year old is taking is team like contact like that. I love the mom still shitting on him Even though he's in big trouble. She's like chained you piece. She's buddy. She gets this. She this is the Fucking or derv's dude. She serves up some classic lines Every single chai is that printed out here. Oh shit I told you to watch what you do on the damn phone

Oh you know what? What did you want to do with Aero girl? And if you're not honest with me I'll tell your John to become I don't have a job at the hut, okay? That's where you're going to be at So be honest with me, what did you want to do for? Not a naughty stuff

What? I mean I could just read the chat. Just kind of saying in front of his mom. Or do you want to say yourself, just naughty stuff? Okay, do you want to laugh? That's me in front of Trish of her girls. Like, what were the sex messages? I was like, yeah, I just, I don't know. Dude, and that's what it is.

And that's what it is. This is funny, your mom, you go. I was fucking, I don't know. I was just running my mind. But, but, you know what I'm saying? I wasn't going to do any of it. It's one of the sucker tits. That's all I said. It's one of the sucker tits. Dude, this is, what are the sucker tits? And why don't you What's he gonna do any of it? It's one of the sucker tits. That's all I said.

Sucker tits. Dude, this is... Well, sucker tits and I want you to hold my balls. Why this is great? Is he's going to read everything this guy said to his mother. No! Mother's gonna sit there when he's like, uh, you'll see he's like, you say I want to lick your ball pussy and suck on your boobs. Jamie! I guess. I do. I do. I'm guilty. He does. He goes, yep. I'm a pervert some wrong me Everything's with the hands and hips is like yeah, yeah, yeah, you know when you're reading it back I do it or it's not that cool. You know what it doesn't looks like you know when a mechanic goes to the worksheet with you and you pick up

All right, so you need new axles you look at your pads Okay, all right he goes your oil's good, but it's almost Is there clinking on the right side? What about the rotary girder? Yeah, it's not a real thing. Okay, my friend told me about the road Your time might have been a rotary girder See right there that you're timing belt. No, it's making a noise wasn't it. Yeah, any problems the rotary girder So it's not a real thing goes. I don't even have one. Okay, and then he would just go. Oh, that's a lot He doesn't know how to negotiate people like all right you take visa okay okay yeah that's a lot

tell me cuz I want to know all right we're gonna read the chat damn you spicy bitch this is a picture of schoolgirl socks that Jamie sent that he wants her to wear for him and you know he puts the number right here at all connects to him. You're number just begin with 308249 correct. Yes, okay And what's the last four numbers? This is great. She doesn't want to believe it. Well, can't you I know I just wrote a number. Well, it's right here Yeah Smart now I am that was the best one she goes so another last four smart guy fuck that is that IP. Yeah. That's a smart now, are you mine? That was the best one. And she goes, so what are the last four, smart guy?

Fuck that is it, I think. Yeah, she is. Ah, shit. I thought it wasn't you. It was some other guy with four numbers. God, damage Amy, he really got you. He got 10 numbers in your phone. Good.

We do establish that the ninth birthday is coming up. So he's known as about the age on top of the profile being eight years old So you have a traction to my nerves Just please be honest. Don't Just jump ahead a little bit just to get to like we're just reading the stuff not that far Yeah, back up back up back up that's a really great one. Okay He better be honest. I'm gonna kick his's a really great one. Okay. What's with us if we don't go anywhere? He better be honest, I'm gonna kick his ass. I'm right, okay.

What, so why did you say, why did we see an 80 year old's coach on video chat? Cause he's a horn dog, that's what I'm talking about. A horn dog. Keep that. Is that a boner right there? Eight year old, so third, sick. Jamie. Eight-year-olds are sick.

Are sick? You don't mess with eight-year-olds. Right, yes. We can have each other if you want to. Look up sex, honey. So why are you asking eight-year-olds to look up sex? Because you wanted to do it with her, right? Just be honest.

Yes. OK. Holy fuck. So look what he says right here. Show you how suck-cock. Make daddy happy if you want to that is my princess You text this shit Yeah, dude bears the problem self

Yeah, she goes also also you can you fucking good at that. That's hot should the mom starts jumping in dad would text me like that You'd have a brother You never brother that could probably pay to get you out of this legal trouble. Get dad's only lines used to be I'm gonna fuck the tarred off your eyes. Yeah, go go back 10 seconds Because I want us I want to suck you like oh, that's good. Oh, no, she's my princess. Oh You text this shit. Yeah, you don't I'm gonna take your phone away from you. Oh absolutely. And no super Mario. See it was on there. God. I wish I could watch you take shower to help you wash on it. So why does someone dirty as you dirty like you why would you help anybody take a shower?

You haven't showered yourself. You look like doing it. You look like dude. It's true. You look like The college cost survivor I've ever seen and the reason why you probably survived the Holocaust is because they didn't send you to the showers I mean fucking obviously all right roast roast master back it up there whoopee Yeah, what the fuck all right roast master general damn dude from roast masters Fatty and fatty are it'd be funny if that guy was like, I thought you only risked one's he loved. You know this guy's done an open mic. Or if he just takes it like one of the old

like D-Mart was, D-Mart was, he goes, yeah it was, you're so fat, you probably would crush your mom if you rolled over. It's like, you guys was, that's good. How do these people get in my room? Well, your mom's here.

Last time you saw your mom's pussy, it was the last time you saw a girl woman's pussy. Guys, we're having fun here. The old sneakers are over there. The sneakers I used to wear on my feet, speaking of feet, you're stinkin' my right. You got me on that one. Guilty as charged, everybody. His Samian is wonky eyes. He's black On a diet or you say you're gonna help someone not be socially awkward are you saying you're gonna help someone

Well, you got pretty big Work start washing your boobies like nipples work by way to your hot pussy sweeties Boobies at eight years old Unless they've got their period, but that's not till 14 I know about that shit I know about that shit preach mama Let me tell you my pussy used to bleed and we had nothing to put in it. That's how poor we were I didn't get my hooters till I started squirting blood out my challenger Cheers and that mate trust me that on the track bears. That's a track older boys

Hey, I was 14. I was bleeding like a gussardown in Dallas. Oh Stop it you gross, so they don't got boobies down in Dallas. Oh, scabby you gross, so they don't got boobies. You know, mom reacts to such six sexual desires. I better not see this in court. No, I'm saying, like a bus tour. We don't need that shit. You don't know my landlord. She is a bitch. Oh, we know. She was there to kick us out of here. I'm sure, dude.. She's such a dumb ass like don't show anybody though We don't want to kick that of our play. Yeah, I'm gonna show your land. They meet by the way

They leave here and go immediately go for the landlord and car. Oh my god. You know, that's not this. It's just this lady's the the gold of this. Yeah Oh, no, we don't know where to bitch do right Jamie. Yes I watch you? I come over to your house. I love you. We have sex so you want to come over to an eight-year-old house to have sex Yes, Jamie. Oh my god. Why dude? I'm sick pervert So why are you attracted to minors rather than people over a 10? Here's I don't know dude wise chocolate better than vanilla He's firing back

I don't know you fucking ginger I'm just gonna fucking say it. I shower daily. I was just a gym. I'm a powerlifter So wait, you said I'd be like someone who's got to be like call the cops motherfucker. I'm not talking anymore Let's fucking big idiot. Oh come on Jamie. They do they're holding on to the belief that they're just gonna run them down show it on YouTube and it's over yeah that's probably what people think let's be thinking but it's this guy calls cops everything so what happened to this guy he has to be locked up I don't know I didn't just watch the fight just watch go back to the thing you just watch this this part you know these people are like so dumb that they're like,

we need to get a lawyer or something. How do you do that? I know. Well, I love that she's like, my landlord will be real pissed. She's a bitch. Don't tell her. Oh, she'll mess you up later.

Sheeran, because I'll forget to a point she goes, she goes, this isn't gonna go on the viral, is it? The viral. Let me ask you a question. This is just a humanity question Do you think that this man was molested and that's why he's a pedophile maybe because that mom seems like Horror movie bad yeah, like she keeps him in the basement and throws down cans of dog food for her She has a haircut like the dad who kept the kids in the basement exactly stay it I talked to this guy yesterday

His grandfather killed himself. Okay. Because he had two families. So he came home, one family kicked him out, he came home, he's like, you want to be with honey? Just like, get the fuck out of my head. When a bull shot himself. So this guy's dad had to deal with that.

So now like his brothers hooked on drugs, but this guy's okay, he got sober, he's like straight in his life, how do you start into stand up? But there's clearly this guy some shit happened to him. Yeah. Like I don't think you turn out this deranged without like his uncle fucking. Yeah, like he seems like it's okay. Like uncles can fuck you when you're 14.

Maybe, but he's also probably, let's also assume this guy. He's been a social pariah like his whole fucking life. Like he probably, you know, he had a couple of friends, I'm sure, that were also sad, sad guys, but this guy is never in his life probably fucked for free or anything. What type of sickness? You know what I'm saying? So he just, so that, I'm saying for someone like this, the computer is the worst invention in the world. Yeah. It's basically going farmed to table

with your fucking grossness. And you're showing them everything, and they can look up anything they wanna fucking see. He's like following an eight year old on Instagram and he's like, let me DM and then she deems back and he's like, well, hello. It stuns me how to discuss it. Like it makes me so happy I have guns in my house now.

I'm just ecstatic. Yeah, but it's like, now you've really let go of being Canadian. Welcome to the full embrace. So long gone. So long gone. What a fucking pig this guy. Yeah, he's a gross animal.

He's a gross animal. And Jay played a little bit of the call that he had with the girl and it was fucking gross. It was very gross at the beginning. He's like, show me your pussy. He's like aggressive with an eight year old girl on the phone. It was obviously a plant.

But. So this guy watches a ton of porn because he's on his phone all the time. He thinks that that's how it is. And he thinks the only group attainable to him are these girls that don't even know what sex is so that he can do. You can teach them, that's the grooming thing. Yeah, so you just fucking lower them in.

Give us a little more beazer, mom. God, that's so funny. Yeah, he says, I don't have a girlfriend because it costs money. Oh, I know. I get a spend because you look like that. Pay the bills. Yeah, very true. He said I don't have a girlfriend because it costs money.

But look at him. He's getting run down by this fucking third tier offensive lineman that's busting him. And then his mom's being like, I give him all his money. I watch him like the hot. He's a loser. He's a loser. So this guy's just saying, I was saying, those moms saying like, I give him all his money, I watch him like a hawk. He's a loser, basically. He's a loser. So this guy's just missing. I was saying it was mom saying like, yeah.

He's a loser. Yeah. He thinks by playing sad suck, he's gonna get out of this. Yes. Well, you're right. I'm a loser, I'm a pervert, and she- I'm gonna get help.

And she hates him. Yeah. She hates him. Before this day, he is a burden on her life completely. You know how they always show in the movies, mom? they both blame each other probably for why their lives are miserable. It's just like that. But you know that you know that moment in horror movies where they're always like Come eat it. And she's like mean to the killer. Then you see the killer snap and that's what that shit starts That's what this guy exactly reminds me of.

Of someone like a love. It's like a beginning of a leather leather face Yeah, like this is the leather face big in a tree. Oh, jeep all ring Exactly, and he's like Where's a mask that's got like curly hair and he wears like a girl dress with shoulders Then he's just curious around him also, and he's just speaking dirty to a child the same dirty He's heard is how you talk from porn. Oh, yeah, it's what he sings. He's saying in eight year old Like first. I want to lick your bald wet pussy. And like, that, that, that, that. I think an eight year old even knows the fuck you're talking about.

I want to suck your big tits. She's like, I'm your babies. You're big babies. There's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there vibes this guy's giving me. She goes, don't worry, when you guys leave, I'm gonna floss SWOT as penis. Oh, I do, it's real sick shit. I put a mouse trap and I'm gonna just dip trying to eat cheese. You ain't getting your quarter today, you hear that? Yeah, he goes, I'll go down to the,

it looks like a family where if she floss, SWOT's naked little dinger at night. You're bad, this is bad, G-Fo. I'm a bad boy. Put your hard weighing away. Yeah. A little more bees please. It helps me pay the bill. It works. It works. It's like even even though you even though you're

caught by it. It looks like you're still expecting a kid. Look at that. What's the baby cutting? Hey, that's not nice. You're not so skinny yourself. Yeah Damn dude, I hate to say this This lady my mom would get along They tossed a couple back and start talking some shit. Hey Trish. My son's a fucking pita. What's yours? He's a silly fancy boy. Oh, he's some nitty Oh, he's some nanny out there living on the fan.

He lives on the TV or something. Fabricating stories about me and my accomplishments. But he wears the scarf and dances around like a real fancy boy at their nightclubs. It would crush you to find out your mom this latest around and talk about what pieces their sons are. That guy's a confirmed butterfly. She's got everyone's got their own shit Dan. Oh, stop it. I Daniel won't shave his beard and he's got four jobs No one looked at no one watches comedy central stupid shit

I told you go working pop fitting like your daddy didn't do it ran off dad a dream look at him now They didn't even heard of him. He's no Trevor. No one had a dream, look at him now. They ain't even heard of him. He's no Trevor, no one. Where's Clean Shirts everday? That took him a day. That's the Comedy Central channel. Where's Clean Shirts everday like a nanny.

Told him you can't be wearing a hooded sweatshirt when you're grown man. He showers twice a week. Gross, you know, my son, where's thing he ever did was wait outside of the junior school prom. Two days came home and said mom smelled my fingers Something wrong in him. He's wants to suck hot west pussy. That's his only problem. My dad only got one girlfriend He goes oh his lady

They got it all you've been burying bodies under the wood in your room again Baby baby Jamie commuter. Did you make anyone pay for their sins today yes mama yes you people have to atone for their sins well he was just making them a ton are you guys finished yeah it's almost over does it end with the cop showing up did you watch that for uh yeah well they show up and then it cuts they don't get his actual arrest, but it's like the lady cat food. Yeah, dude, did you get it? No wonder this guy's a pedophile, a lady wrote him down.

Yeah, well, we'll stick it up for him. He wanted to have children with the eight year old right here. I love to have children with you, so. Every time he tries to snap back. I want your phone, I want your phone. Also, the stupidity of believing like your phone is gonna be mine. Yeah, that's problem solved Keep me your phone. All right

We're gonna have to turn It goes bad turn in the phone to cost because man he had toddler pictures on his phone. He dies. Jesus Christ He is the reaction to priceless. So what's happening? It's so real thing is happening. And she, I'm saying, but it's also something that's that real. Could you imagine, like I said, finding out, like, we're saying it's like a Christine finding out after like 10 years that I'm a fucking pedophile.

I mean, I mean, I almost get this lady smiling the whole time because she's just like, what? Can you imagine? What? Imagine that's your snoop. Like, if I decided to go through your phone one day and that's what I ended up finding.

You're not going through there, right? Right. I'm sure. Should I erase things? Should I go into my pedo pictures? Shut up, dude. Whatever. Get off all four.

Yeah, that'd be pictures. If you would do my thing, I mean I mean like you're not though, right? Like you do that. It's like a break of respect like our trust and respect one. I don't care I never do that to your phone one my little I wouldn't get the year for five year pet of life I trust you implicitly do There's so much less create funny is more funny To the idea of me coming home and there's an eight-year-old boy sneaking out of my house from his plan Christine. Hey buddy. Get better. Get better snacks. Sorry, she's cooling off in the bedroom. Hey champ, am I left a little bit in there

still for you? Yeah, what's? Anyways, diet soda? God damn you are grown up. Let's go to the bar suck, man. Get real candy bars. God get out of here, dude. All your fucking video game suck. Later pussies. God get out of here dude. Oh, bag. Oh, you're fucking video game suck later. Pussy. Why is there so much healthy snacks? Oh, now I see it. She was right about you tub. Slater. Later snack wells. By the way, your second remote's broken. Hundred calorie packs of Oreo Thins. When you get it. Oh my god. You're a fucking loser. Anyways, she's a tiger.

Give us one more minute. We have one more minute of Mama Beezer before we have to wrap. Buzzfeed video. Oh my god. Hey, so you love kissing? Eating your hot blank, hot, old pussy? I've heard enough.

You guys need to leave. I want his phone. Oh man, man. Can we get in here? We're gonna call the cops in the landlord if we don't go over this I mean, we're going over it. What are you talking about? We got a face? I had a nap I understand but we're giving you an amazing deal by just having to talk with him Brethren getting cops involved like we can and the landlord obviously, so what you both? Yeah, they do both landlord cop And the landlord obviously so what you both yeah, they do both Landlord cop dude, that's great. I'm a landlord in a cop by the way the landlord's just another lady like that Like the used to hear on the phone she goes what oh

Kid my property kids damn it. Well check out Aaron Burke They should come out and hang out watching weird videos. See that that was awesome I mean in a sick way Aaron Burke's gonna be at Zany's in Nashville Friday or not Friday, February 9th. Zany's Nashville February 9th. Go check them out. Be sure to check out his brand new podcast on gas digital Berg's base Wednesdays 10 p.m. Gas did. Gas did life.

Big J's going to be at the Addison improv this Thursday through Saturday after that carol lines right there in Times Square, New York City. February 18 to 20th for tickets and other tour dates visit bigjcomedy.com. A bunch of friends and stuff coming through carolines so James is going to be there one day. Dan's also going to be in Rochester, comedy to Carlson this weekend, February 3rd to the fifth, Acme Comedy Club at Minneapolis, the 17th to the 19th and Good Nights in Raleigh, North Carolina. That's February 24th to the 26th, a February to remember with Dan Soder. For Tick, I'm trying to name it that.

It's fun, February to remember, it's fun. For tickets and all other tour dates, of course go to DanSoder.com. Make sure you check out the podcast, make sure you go to the bonfiremerch.com. Get your merch. We love you guys. Oh, we just put some joint Patreon. Yeah. The Body Builder, B-A-W-D-Y Builder,

the Body Builder to see Aaron prepare for his first bodybuilding kind of this 23 years. Excited? Yeah. Getting fucking jacked. Get some tests, get some GH. Sorry, yelling at him. You're getting back in the mobster, wife fucking shape.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm taking off. Take it off. We love you guys, bye. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM. full shows. Always on Sirius XM.