The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Karate Kid (feat. Tony Roberts)

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

Comedian Tony Roberts joins the show and tells Jay and Dan and has his own hot topic about Wendy Williams. Tony tells the gang about backlash from a  joke, and karate fighting in the army!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com@tonytroberts#CrackleCrackle

It's Dan Soder and Big J. Oakerson. Welcome to the Bonfire podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning Tuesday through Friday. If you want more Bonfire, you can always hear our full show every day on Series XM. Maybe my favorite comic to watch live. It is the hilarious Tony Roberts joining us. Hey, hey, hey, look for that crowd. It is the hilarious Tony Roberts joining us. Hey, hey, hey, look for that crowd. Let's that stand on Basin Dan. Yeah, that's a whole stadium for you. Hey, check it out.

When you're talking about too soon and doing stuff, they should have ended out. When the last the last year they did comic view. Yeah, within the Orleans. So I was on stage. I said, hey, I'm from Detroit. And everybody's some people clapping. I said, one of the home, but the Orleans, so I was on stage. I say hey, I'm from Detroit and nearby some people clapping I said one of the home but the pioneers rolls the parks you live there

As I met her a little while ago she's getting old. She wrote a book called what bus We were laughing, laughing, laughing. So, wait a minute. So, a month later she died. Oh shit. She died. Oh shit. And you taped that episode before it comes out. Did you know?

Then it ended out. Then it ended it out. So you died. So you do that joke. It kills. Three and a half weeks later, month later she dies. And you're really the only person outside of an editor in an editing bay that knows that that joke is about to be put on the

We know I don't blame I'm not mad at the air just thought I was fucking 100 people You're just the disappointment call Rose apart People's like Tony Rosy parks that are you happy now? A black mother calling hurt you got to mute that a black mother calling her son for the death of a civil rights icon For the death of a civil rights icon Come on that is gotta be the best

The only thing worse possibly comedically than that would be you doing a joke where you fake murder your girlfriend and then shoot Disappears and then your special comes out and then like what the two fucking murderers. Well, it's fine when it's a specific person. Yeah. I think when you get the blanket thing, I've said this on the show before, but except for the trans joke I do on Netflix and it comes back. I'm like, to joke this, do about, it's the story of me thinking about having sex with the trans. Right.

And by, say, training in it, which I know is like the trigger point on the problem. Yeah, yeah. And they, uh, when they, someone's when they come here, they go, that's great. It goes nice joke. Do you think it's funny that trans people get murdered in record numbers every year just for being who they are?

I'm like, that's horrible. Like, I don't know that. But not even that. It's like, but it's also like, I didn't want that. What does that do with like, my jokes definitely not helping that be the number. It's like, yeah, that's it. You want to do it? You want to do it?

It's like, it's funny, they get murdered. But did you do say that in the joke? Yeah, my best quote, I've said, I've said, I've said, I've said, do you think that's what I want? Jokes, I've had jokes with the word raping it and they always go, it's that the blanket statements are so funny, they go.

It's that one of the silliest questions I've been asked in my life more than once is they go, you think rapes funny? Like the action? No. No. Who the hell thinks that? You gotta go, yeah, like,

why would you ask me? Because that's crazy to think that anyone, I think only rapists would think that. Well, it's weird, it's also whenever it's a subject that you're joking about, they hone in on the subject and you're like, yeah, I'm a branch off of that. I'm not. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just pulling something up. Thank you. I put up a, I had a joke from that Colin Quinn drive through, drive in special where I, all I said is take a picture with you with a mask on and then you can lie for the rest of your life and said you wore a mask all the time. If it turns out that that was a good thing, the way our grandparents lie about wanting to fight in World War 2 Because they didn't all of our grandpas were like I don't even know any Jewish people

Why do I give a fuck? And it's like I'm not gonna go fight you and then I thought I would catch shit for that line and what I caught She was like you lib tarred you want to wear a mask like this? Not even that's the fucking setup That's what you got up that yeah, you're like it's people just that looking for the trigger Yeah, that's what it is. They're looking for the word that's gonna fucking get them Yeah, but I mean yours is quintessentially hilarious that you're like what bus got her and then

New story Civil rights icon Rosa Parks has taken a turn for the worst Tony's in a hotel he's like turn this shit up what the fuck hey no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Hey, did me yeah, I'll set up I did that episode I did that season the comic view that technically wasn't comic view But was that one mic stand. Oh shit. They have to shoot it twice because like the first one Ray lapowski the comic like a woman like attacked him with a high heel shoe on stage It was like a weird purchase It was it was a fucking

It was crazy Just the fact that you brought this to me. Right in the basket though, Bino bad look, black dude. In fact, the Tony co-sign that so fast away, everything happens to that guy. Like, he's just the guy that like, he's the man that he's the man that I think something happened to him on bad boys and comedy too.

Like, this guy's life, it's just people being like, SHAPT on everything! Oh, fucking kill you! Dude, that's always the funniest. He's like, Chicago like shop to everybody. Oh fucking kill you. Yeah, that's always the funniest He's like Chicago right? Yeah, oh shit always having him. Oh, dude. That's just such a funny thing Oh man, that guy always That's my question about Gary Owens.

Do you think what now? Well, he went on a date with Wendy Williams. So he's fine. No, that's what he said. What happened? I just talked to him yesterday. Oh, yeah. You said you broke up.

We talked for like 25 minutes. He said, Wendy, when you set me up, I said, what you do? She asked me to go out to dinner, because she got a group going to dinner with some team. So as you get there, it's her and four other people and we all at the big table and then Literally three minutes later everybody left. Oh, so she said over next to him She might it would she mafia Boston she tried to she's like now the leader man to say something

After she shang hide them on the show. She I watched it today. Yeah, She was really doing like a did you cheat so you cheated? He's like well I'm not divorced yet, so I can't really get into all that. It's like you cheated didn't you? Yeah, she's trying to sit guy double said double said she live She want to put the claw in you I said you know she used to be around comedy a lot. No help me Kapone Rob Stapleton and somebody else it was four of us. She used to take us on the road with us Yeah, we did like seven cities and she was like present, but the her husband was fucking it up What's Tina's out of money and shit she didn't know it so we'd be like we ain't doing this shit

And she said what's going on that motherfucker right there? He was just taking all the money. He was just she knows how to what excuses giving us half Yeah, he was just like he was one of them guys She didn't even she's been this big years years before that everywhere for him. Damn. We watched the lifetime. I watched the lifetime when you will. I'm I thought for a long time that I thought she was ridiculous and shitty and stupid and then I watched that show now like she might be a genius. No, she knows how to grab you. She just knows, I'm saying she has the most, dead, the most comfort with dead air I've ever seen in my life.

She'll be like Kanye West. And just sit there and everybody will be like, what? And then she was like, she was like opening up like a wazinge and the crowd will just start clapping. She's got that white lady in the audience going up. Today I saw her on the Gary owns episode

They pull a wide shot so when Wendy Williams goes how you doing? You know the whole crowd doesn't back to her, but she is like she's in a pause sign this lady. She goes She's like, oh my god. You all better fucking do the live live And she will fucking kill me tell you like she's like a boss bitch for sure But I but everything I was I was laughing at her for now. I just I'm turned around I go she's fucking great She did a thing we have a an audio drop that we use of her movie because you knew she was gonna tell her story of just like It's great her kick and ask the whole time. You know how you see it all buy out movies It's clearly written by the guy that yeah

My favorite words straight out of It's clearly written by the guy that, like my favorite was straight out of Compton, clearly written by Dre. Everyone else had a problem. They never brought up Dre, beaten women. No, they were like slapping the guns. They go debarns, it goes there, there's the whole little thing there or whatever. But then anyway, I get arrested, speeding down the street.

Yeah, but all the dialogue is like, damn it, Andre, you are such a genius. Why are you such a genius? My least favorite thing is I could just get Eric to act right. My least favorite thing was straight out of the compton. My least favorite thing was straight out of the compton by far was him walking into a room with stupid pop. As he looks like And two dogs like Like now It's like that's it and then he's just playing that over and then stuped all goes he was what's that right there? One two three and you're like Fuck up

Shut up Come on for a minute and then you do the whole song here's the biggest song that's three summers I'm I'm calling it right now and when it does happen That's going for a minute. And then you do the whole song. Here's the biggest song that's three summers. I'm calling it right now. And when it does happen, the three of us will get together to do a podcast, strictly breaking it down, when the Kevin Hart Biop movie comes out, and they do Kevin Hart's Biop movie.

But they can't do it because the guy at Coleman did. But then, you lose. He's still. comment dead. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down.

Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down.

Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down. Put down another serious movie. So he's moving over to the sun by the sun. I'm telling you the bio will be coming. No, it's going to be fantastic.

Because yet what they all do, like one of my favorite things they did at Corey Feldman is a big subject on the show. He's out of his head. And you know, it's someone tweeted to me today's sun's trying to be a boxer. Really? He might tune us up. I'm gonna come fuck our show. Corey Feldman's son might to be a boxer really he might tune us up I'm fuck our show Cory film and son might be putting a hurt on Jay and I it's possible

Yeah, I don't know my hands. He's fast like that but he Bacchor he fell him and uh, yeah, he fucking We're like a big thing with him on the show and if I'm trying to lost the point you're talking about the biop But he might have seen he made his biop pick about him and Corey Hame. And we just know this guy is like personality on what he does. He has a, he has a scene opening in the movie where in school, some bigger kids are teasing him because he's in the lost boys.

Because he's in the biggest hit of the summer, coolest movie to children in the world, the lost boys, you know, the vampire movie. Yeah. And he's like, and the guys will go, he goes, Hey, fang boy, it's the vampire movie kid. Like, that certainly never happened. And he's like, leave me alone. He goes into a bathroom in the school.

And the three kids come in there. And I heard, this is told to us by two people we trust very much. Me and Dam are watching this separately Right different places different times But both of us Christine told Dan this is true and Dan's roommate the time Told me his was true. We both paused the movie right there and looked at the person we were with and went He's gonna win this fight. Yeah, we're both He's not gonna have it. He's not gonna lose his newest personality

We're like if he's making biography about this, he doesn't lose this fight. Fucked up two of them. He might have lost the fight. Oh, absolutely. By the way, in a better movie. That's why I got to him. Yeah, to put that in there.

Exactly. A better movie would have been him losing the fight first. But he has to understand that. And Wendy Williams had a little bit of, she, she knows that she could share enough of her fucking shit with the husband and stuff that she's giving you enough of herself, but she still won't Be real about something Tony this scene where it was It was her first time getting on air at one of your five or something

So it's like she does this thing where she establishes herself and then she just wants it so bad She just keeps coming back to the waiting room and just keeps coming back to the waiting room and finally The waiting room just in the waiting room. No appointment just sitting in the waiting room and finally the DJ that was on that was her Idol just calls out and so they come out in the waiting room and they're like you're here Hey, can anybody do the most important shift of our day who's just randomly sitting in the like they wouldn't And they pull her in Most important simple today Like they wouldn't pull her in because anybody do the most important shit for the day You've been sitting here you with the mop

You were through all the highlights magazines in the fucking waiting room. Yeah, so she goes in and right away Her first time no nerves at all she gets on and she's like and what's with Bobby Brown doing that cocaine or whatever and some personal things she just says about somebody and then the guy comes in and says he goes Wendy when she goes on break the program director. Yeah, probably goes Wendy was what are you doing you can't see things like that on the radio and she goes what I'm just talking saying things and what is Want to know this type of stuff. I mean they have a right to know

Revolutionary He turned the movie I swore on it to the sense because you can't be doing this That's why they watch that dude. It was so crazy. Dude. It was so crazy I'm gonna follow even how it's done. third to have that guy damn easy. I know documentary Oh, man, the documentary is great because it's her with no makeup on crying about the story But she's also in these crazy like leg treatment for wacky angles. Yeah, I believe that big air boots And she's just sitting there like crying and screaming about this. You know, I met you her in a joke. I used to do But it never gets labs in New York, or Jersey because they love her too much. I don't know why oh

Connecticut, they don't they just like sketch the laugh of it, but Anyway else I got to you know, I'm not I'm not only my believe Danny Glover and Wendy Williams the same Because look at they never see him together and look at a job that can't nobody have jobs that strong They could drink peanut butter through a straw How you doing Like I wonder if she the first time Jay got me to watch it Jersey New York can't get this get a laugh at that dude. They uh Danny I wonder if she the first time Jay got me to watch it

He like I came over and he's like we're watching episode of Wendy Williams and I told him it had Kim Jong Un feel Like she was just this North Korea dictator and everyone in the room is like smile for the supreme leader Yeah, that's yeah, like nervous for sure. Yeah, she got everyone real scared but. Like, she got nervous for sure. She got everyone real scared. But also, she's talking about the most nonsensical shit. And the audience, when they nod at her, it's like she's talking about like standing up for yourself and making a change in the world.

She's like, kind of they just got to get together. He is bad news and it just goes to the audience and someone's like, yeah. I've seen a compliment somebody, girl, that's a good, like a scarf, a lot of that scarf you got on, they've been starting crying. She was so happy. That's a good one.

It's a good one. It's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah. But see, she got the, the team man, they got to follow us like a church. Yeah. If they follow you, you can tell them anything,

and make them do almost anything. Yeah, look at Joel Osteen. There was that Florida Houston and they're like, you're gonna open up your doors like say what? Say what? I'm sorry I'm here. I'm sorry. I have all this brand new fresh water pool in my ear. I'm gonna I'm gonna helicopter I can't hear you. I'm trying to talk to God real quick I can't trust nobody who's

Oh Smiling. Oh, it's raining in Houston. Yeah. How do you gonna follow somebody that won't stop smiling through the hole? God, I just talked to him if you told me that you talked to someone and you wouldn't stop smiling I wouldn't believe you Like I just talked to Jay and he is so What's gonna if I told you a story and I'm like I just got done talking to Jay Best news you've ever heard in your life you like get the fuck away from me talking to Jay. Best news you've ever heard in your life. You like get the fuck away from me. Jay was watching it in 2020 that he wanted to bring up a subject. I'm an old man at last 2020 now.

Dude, don't worry. It's your six. You're going to graduate to 60 minutes in touch with my old man. 60 minutes is a little bit older and god and girls. Oh, tight riding. Fight me a show with tighter riding than golden girls. It's legit great joke riding. If you you watch mom. Oh Yeah, the Chuck Lori show Mom with the girl they Yeah, where they play the alcohol, but I think that is a Chuck Lori Producers show yeah, they got the speed. Yeah, golden girls is like Joe And Frazier yeah on 2020 tight right 2020 this week. I watched it on the road. Yeah, and when I was watching 2020 it was a story about which I wish I

I don't know how this one's something to crack. It sounds like a pretty crazy story, but a girl I don't have her name Vanessa We'll get her last name by girl Spanic girl went missing Fort Hood military base and when they just tell the story, like they finally found her, buried in three separate graves that her body was chopped up completely. And Texas? And Texas, yeah.

Fort Hood thing. And then by the way, when they were looking for her body, they found remains of other bodies. It was also a mass shooting. And I was saying that Fort Hood is like the Arizona State University of fucking.

Fuck man. If you're getting stationed there man, you better, it's like, whoof, I better get my drinking tolerance up because it looks like a party down there. What the hell is going on? Vanessa Kean. Yeah, Vanessa Kean. Oh really? Yeah, so they found her missing, but then yeah, it started to come in on cover that Fort

Hood, everyone there just parties, right? I don't know, I don't know, I'm just saying it's party, it just seems like a place where like all the bad shit that happens on a military base, it always happens at forthood also. Like, you know what, but you know what, that area is big for him, a trafficking. Really? Yeah. Oh, because it's right by the Mexican border. Yeah, it's just came up like an hour ago actually. An hour ago? Yeah, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it. Yeah, it's just came that's like an hour ago actually an hour ago

Yeah, so it's old. It's old. It's So we paid to smuggle people across Texas feds it. Of course. I mean, of course You know, it's funny though if they want you know what though if they wanted to make this If they wanted to make this a light Airy 80s comedy. Yeah, they could completely do that if they were like they were the worst army base in the world. The army base are muleing people from Mexico. They can be it can be back mash.

Yeah it would be like strife. Yeah they're not fun. They be just total misfit fuck up. You can make it like an HBO dark comedy where they're like uh oh. So I'm just getting paid. Hock I got copy. Yeah. Hocka, Hocka, I got copy and there's, yeah, did you guys know that? Serious, oh, I'm just terrorism,

we got going on, there's a motherfucker. Like the general, the general of the whole base, like where's like, you know, 3D movie glasses, once like blue ones right, he's, he's zany. Oh, the poster, the poster for Fort Hood, the movie, like the national lampoon's, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is just like people, they're like,

that'd be funny turns out sergeant Jenkins is a coyote and he's smuggling people like a big titted washed up porn star who's like walking around always I'm I'm a lot I'm a lawn and need come and I'm a new pride of a lot of the woman the woman who rugged the bar was being on base

he's an ex-soldier but no he's still got it and then there's the one the one-legged Iraq war veteran. Yeah, it's always frosty. Yeah. Yeah, but no matter what man They can they cannot they murder a lot down there looks like and it look are they are terrible covering it up Let me tell you I was in the mid 80s Right in for good. Just got to military met these me tell you, I was in there in the mid 80s. Right? In the middle of the head, right? Just got to middle of the chair, met these guys and bam, I was selling drugs.

I could run. I just got, I've been there for four months and I was selling them up in the sun, cocaine and weed. That is fucking crazy. I say, and then look at me like I wasn't a soldier. It was like, it was two soldiers, two of us, it was four of the guys we met kicking at the bar

and they say, come on hang out with us. They say, so, I actually So actually, let you know that we sell drugs here. So we don't really live here. So if you all want to get down, we can put y'all, you know, we know they're like, we do what you know, I mean, it's what you're gonna run. Go shift. Can you do? And for you know, we did like almost a year and a half. You know, we're gonna go to prison for this. This is so important. So we just thought, but they, they, they, they don't give a fuck, they party a lot. That made you join the military just to get out of the Troyter summons do something different because like,

were you weren't like a gung ho like, like I'm, I'm from Michigan State, found my sisters always going to college back to back. They're my, my, my, my last one. And when that came to me, I tell them, I don't waste your money on this. They're anyways the books too thick. I ain't trying to read all this shit.

But right now I'm in, I'll be back out. But I'm a lot, yeah. It's been like, I got out, started comedy. I did 10 years in there. Damn. 10 years. That's the thing I ain't gonna do all that shit. I said I asked you during the commercial break,

my favorite, you told me the story in Germany, because we were talking about the military. So we got there from military bases and you were telling me about Where you went in the military you see a sergeant Buckel? Yeah, that was me Skimming wipe my way I didn't learn shit. I didn't want to learn that That's what I'm saying. I do. I think we need to put you in the National Ampune's Fort Hood movie as like Thank you as like the van Wilder

One year was in Korea. Okay. So I was goofing off of shit this and this. So and I they say if you go take up a Thai Kwondo class, you don't have to do half of the day at the thing. You just have to learn. So I just go in there and then give you a little outfit

to shit and I give a lot of money on that army shit. So I wouldn't even do a shit in the air. I'm fucking I'm gonna give people laugh. He's my brother put me in a tournament. I said no, I'm in Korea. I said, I'm past. I don't, I don't, they said, we just tell your captain that you just denied it and then you, then you get in trouble.

I said, okay, okay, fuck it, I do it. So I'm gonna just scrap somebody, try to get out of it, you know, like I'm sick of shit. We get to the tournament. The guy I'm supposed to, we white belts. Yeah. That's right, next to a garbage man. We eat dirt shit.

We don't know shit. So they said the guy I supposed to Some of the this thought had to go back to this overseas go back home. Yeah, they emergency sure So they picked the guy two belts over me So they say the guy was trying to coach me. You could do it. Just focus. You know, he's just a man you Man fuck on this So they convinced me to go out there all I did was run around the ring so what was the setting what was the setting for the fight was it in like a ring or was it in like a like the mat like karate kid with a

nigg in it what a nigg in tears so nervous fuck I'm ran put a nigga in tears. That's so hard. So nervous, fuck, I'm riding back and forth. He's our turnie, turnie. Stop moving on. I'm gonna take a nap. So I think I, I like to do this waste time. I will only do three rounds, two minutes. So I'm gonna do waste time by the end of the,

near the, near the second round. I guess he tied me. I was running past him. This one, I feel good. From kick me, caught me in the middle of my chest. Hit me, kick me so hard. My shoulders clapped. I found my whole shoulders.

William, I came back out. And I just threw up and went to the, I went to the, they told me to the thing to say, you do good, you're doing good. I'm done. I'm broke. Yeah, wait, I, I, I know you're rushing to get into the story, but you, when you first saw my story

You said that you couldn't go down all the way And you said like you said he kicked you so you went down But it wasn't down enough to not get hit again And it's they were all yelling at you to get there. It's like Tony you gotta get down I tried to take a fault when he kicked me and hit not me into the rope and I came back out and I tried to fall But my back was broke So I couldn't lean and the rope kept me up and then he popped pop it popped me with a couple punches And then I just I just thought I blacked out but Morgan's is working. Oh my god. Oh my god. And then I'm like fuck karate every since then fuck

So fucking funny they put you in a ring and they're like all right this guy really does want to fight and he knows What's that balls though? Yeah get get into a tournament. We're like you're gonna get in trouble It's like well, I don't want to go get beat up in a fucking ring Yeah, but I don't want to get in trouble No, the thought that you know rice paddy cleaning up a shit or something The thought that there is some fucking organized crime in Korea bedding on it. You know, like some triad motherfuckers are like, oh, who is this?

Who is this black soldier that joins the fight? I was in an artillery in artillery in Korea. You're like, I was five miles from, five miles from the DMZ. Yeah, right. The North Korean border, which is fucking. Like you didn't have to spend, every unit got spent 30 days on the DMZ. Yeah, just stay there. I was on the line. Which is basically like a way in for every unit got spent 30 days on the DMZ. Yeah, just stay there on the line which is basically like a weigh in for a boxing match for 30 days. You just staring at another

mission. Just hold them off because this is suicide mission. Just case it happens. Yeah, if they come over the wall. Yeah, it was in the winter. Two feet of snow. We got two guys walked into perimeter. We check in and we walk back around and we got I got a gun. I got a machete. I got two grenades magazines already. This is real shit. Yeah, I'm up there shivering. I'm fucking about the cry. I want to go home Thisness and it's quiet and then and then in the daytime There's no Koreans had a speaker on telling you to come over and just to thank go to the gate Come on over this is a quarter of a mile of woods between the two countries.

So that's just the announcement. They're like, hey, it's pretty cool. If you came over here, why don't you come over here? We have hot cheese sandwiches. I'm walking past the gate. It's quite a shit. It's snowing in the middle of the night. A-ow!

Boo! Came out the bushes. Bam, bam, bam, bam! I fell back! Lost the weapon. Roll down the hill in the snow, crawled in the snow before they got to me. Grab my weapon, cry on the screen, who's there? And they go and grab me, the sign went off, when that sign went off, and me said shit about to happen. Everybody came out, have dressed, motherfuckers putting on shit, they got the vest on their gun, the foxholes the tanks is it's revved up all because of fucking all

it's happening still got woke up it's happening three hours for everything to settle down so they got me and they had to had to interrogate me and see what's going on and evaluate the situation and I had to come up with the if I told them I was like oh oh, It was King my dog. Yeah, you can't serve him. I said I seen him. He was there. You couldn't get a I couldn't get his face And I had to beat on him and I don't know if I hit him. Oh, did you check in there? I would just see no sign of some He was there My thing while he was there and then you just hope that they bring up some old Korean.

And to this day, I never told none of my friends that's motherfucker. They're looking for footprints and everything for hours. They're looking for broken bridges. And then you just hope that they bring up old Korean folklore where they go, you actually saw what we call the spirit of weak. He was in the snow goblin. Tom's running inside the toilet. Tony's just going, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it was the snow goblin

Tony's is going oh yeah, it was the snow goblin. Oh you saw you saw every 17 you saw you saw you saw Ginseng too Who is there we talk He opens up a scroll This was this was foretold that a black messenger would tell us of when the That's when the prophecy's been fulfilled I'm the brother to go back. I'm the bringer of doom I think I can get him is the spirit tell me rice is good He's all right. He's all this guy checks out guys let him back god damn it in 10 years in the army that came right to comedy Day right to comedy, but that is the best recipe of having

Real life experience to then go on stage with because then you're just like when I'm gonna stay I tell stories dead I've been through. I just exaggerate them a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. I never make shit up after. Yeah, but that's, I mean, that story right there is fucking hilarious. Yeah, I got a house full of kids.

Yeah. I'm online. Oh, yeah, yeah. Fuck this. Dude, that's what dude, it's just a, I tell you man, thank you for doing comedy because I get always one of my favorites to watch. I appreciate that dude. It's the day I started and I said this show like the audience

I'm so happy to show because the audience is familiar with you just because I have much I've played It's it's it's required watching in this house is your set up particularly on On Shaq the all-star road. It's just one of my favorite, Christine, that's what make Christine fall in love with you. When I showed her. I think that was the tightest 15 minutes I've ever did. Really? It's so goddamn-

I did three one hour specials. I did come and view 10 years in the road, HBO five times, but that 15 minutes on Shaq thing, and Bobby Browne talked to me for four years, because I said Michael Jackson did Bobby Browne live it. When you do the faces, this motherfucker dare do. I knew the cocaine here live, but we gotta start having meat and Jesus. We can just start taking the food. You can't get any shaman up there.

We got to end the show. I know they make us rap. Yeah, we got to rap quick at Tony T. at Tony T. Roberts. Follow me people. Also, we gotta rap quick at Tony T. At Tony T. Roberts Follow me people on social media. See him live Stressy for the July weekend dance order dot com big J comedy dot com at the bonfire SXM on social media. We love you guys see you tomorrow. Goodbye drive safe You've been listening to seriousiusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM!