The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Odd Couple

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

Jay has an idea for a reality show staring DJ Lou and Jacob sharing a bedroomStream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey everybody check out Big J this Thursday through Saturday at one of the best comedy clubs in the world, the DC improv. If you're in the Washington DC area, go get tickets at bigjcomedy.com also New Jersey National and Austin on the way, bigjcomedy.com for more details. Dan Soder going to be in Rhode Island this weekend, April 7th through the ninth that's Thursday through Saturday. And then of course, headlining the Paramount Theater in Austin, Texas as part of the Moon Tower Comedy Festival.

But it's also a standalone show. You can get tickets for just that show. You don't have to get a festival badge. So come show Dan your love. We'll all be there hanging out. And that is going to be April 21st. Thursday, April 21st Paramount Theater, Austin, Texas. And for tickets and all the tour dates, of course, go to dansoder.com.

And for tickets and all the tour dates, of course, go to dansoder.com And now, the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder. I mean, transition, you can transition wherever you are. Oh, these headphones are garbage. Hey. Oh, it's okay. It is what it is. Oh, Amazing grace. How sweet.

I mean, it's actually not. It's a joke. I mean, it's actually not We wanted to bring the mood down a bit Well, I fucking came to work today. I was like singing he was nervous Nurgut for a little bit because it was stuck in my head and I Never recommend the music and I was like hey you you listen to the news be great start to show it And then as we're playing at jay goes probablyO.'s, probably not the best song to start with when we're gonna, you know. Talk about our dear friend. Talk about our friend Sarah passing away suddenly.

Yeah, what a fucking bum out, man. We heard the news while we were on areas today, but what, you know, was not sure what confirmed. Yeah, we didn't want to go on there and say, you know, like, or give that news to a family member first. Yeah, who knows, but I mean, like, what a big loss for comedy, Ben. Yeah, well, you know, we found out for years now.

Do you see any years? And she, great family comedy. She hung out with me at Oddball Tour. She was a big fan of Chicago. Anytime I was in Chicago, she came around. She was a huge, you know what, dude, fan. I met her being, you know, opening for Bobby. Yeah.

She was a great, great fan. Sarah Thoms. Yeah. She wrote for Ontario Bang. Yeah, real sad. What a doll. Yeah. At least I'm featured in the vid.

Yeah, dude, you got the top building. That's pretty nice. And she's a great show. That's pretty show. Oh, Appetale. Okay. Looking for a little whiskey. I want to maintain a dance. Oh, to be there.

Fried. God Chris Red. That is great. Scott Thompson. And she did it with all of them. Yeah. Every single one. She's a huge.

She got over to the Hassan Manage. She's Joe Mackey. Judith Freeland. They're retired from college. Patrick even Patrick. He's, you just leave it at comedian. Aaron Berg. All right, it's gotta be coming up here soon. Oh God, we're down the Zach Amicos.

Oh, it's, yeah. No, you were in the beginning. Oh, I don't know. God help you're in the beginning. Oh, I don't care. No, you're in the beginning of the video. For sure with their please God, right? Dan's gotta be in that video somewhere. Please God. What do you?

Um, no, everyone's just reading it. We're live guys. Do it. Sarah was a, uh, an absolute doll. She, uh, in the time that I knew where she started writing for the intero bag. Yeah. And that was cool. She was a a stapled every festival and Just I've never seen her Even frazzled her said that got thank you Jacob. If you could please go through him. Please God say the dance there. I don't care I didn't make it me and Lou didn't make it. I damn it Lou You were so good to her. Well, he also forced her to take selfies at every event. And you also said, what do you do in selfie me now?

Selfie time! Oh, it's the Queen of selfies. Let's get it in there. It's spelled W-I-T-A-I-T-A-I-T-D-J. It's fucking sad when it's someone that you know you become friends with because they're like, they're around, you know, they show up to gigs and you're like, hey, it's fucking sad when you it's someone that you know you can't you become friends with because they're like They're around you know they show up to gigs and you're like hey, you're excited to see him. She was such a good fan It's a great girl and like really Champion comedy. She was really a good person to have in a corner for

For this kind of thing. Yeah, are you laughing at my sentimental? Not at all. I wasn't laughing at anything. Smirking a little bit. I was smiling, Jay. What's the difference? You were eating everything wrong. No, I... Tell me the difference.

She was a person where you'd be at a festival and she would pop up and you'd be like, Sarah, you just like, Hey, what the fuck? Good to see you. In this sea of garbage, finally a beacon of light. Man, that's what you would say to her.

That's why you made top billing on that. See, uh, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, where you're like, all right, if you have a higher, what's going on? Do you can you show me your charts? Okay. Um, well, I want to make sure we put up because she, I mean, you know, go finally, yeah, we'll tweet it out at the bonfire. SXM should to two kids, a husband and we'll be tweeting out her go fund me to help out the famous school guidance counselor for a while. I want to learn from a while. That's really fun. Like a moment. Let's set you up. When I thought that was beautiful, it's fun, everybody. Oh, you're on the way. You're on the way.

Waiting for this moment to be free. Sarah, Thomas, fly. Like with singing in the dead. I'm down. Take a moment, everybody. Jacob, could you do this? Thank you, sing this song also. Jacob, could you join in?

Jacob, you wouldn't mind? Not like this. Please, we'll put, what is theFundMe so we could say it? And we won't just tweet it out there. The name, it says Donate in Memory of Sarah Leans. How do you say that? Lambs. Lambs?

Lambs, doms? We'll tweet it out though. You can say if you want to read off the link, it's right there. Yeah, it's like code. GoFundMe.com slash qrplq15656157. Sorry guys, I was always speaking code. Write it down right there. Yeah, it's like code. Go fund me dot com slash Q RPL Q 156 157. Sorry guys, I was speaking code. Write it down pretty quick. Oh, I see things in matrix.

Hey, you guys have those ones and zeros? I thought Dan was a bunch of ones and zeros, but I was a great beard. Great beard on that ones and zeros. Oh, he's a beard on that ones and zeros. Damn, dude, those ones and zeros are stacked right. It would be great to, if you got to if you went out to her funeral in Chicago and read some corn mills Like a passage from corn mills. I like it reminds me

I mean it's there used to really enjoy this author and I want to read her favorite passage Now I know y'all's a pastor and shit, but that plus Now I know y'all's a pastor and shit, but Don't be biting up all my clit and shit. It's pussy. There's pussy good enough that it don't matter if I have roaches and rats and It's it's things like that that just brought out a smile and say her I just never say families like who say, the family's like, who the fuck? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I can't believe that Dildo. I'm trying to lift spear. It's where you're trying to lift spear. It's where you can. Broke an hand in it. If you can go to Sarah Dom's, if go fun me, we'll tweet out the link on all social media. So please, yeah, check that out if you can give anything. It'd be great.

She was awesome and she's going to be very, very missed. But she will live on forever in the intero bag in our hearts. And in Jay's autobiography where he actually has a salacious chapter about her. I do. It's about a pastor eating her pussy. It's called Windy City Love. It's called Windy City, Posse. Jacob, if you could please the DJ also a Posse. If you could oh Danny Boy real quick. Dude hit it. Oh, come on, dude. If I die, if I die die you better fucking rip it at my funeral I'll sing with passion. Yeah, I'll give it my heart. I'm gonna shoot it. I'm gonna shoot a cap gun in the air 21 times 21 caps allute

Vecchio will just lay a pot of spaghetti at my spaghetti at my... I'm like... I'm like, it's noodles day. Remember when we used to cheat? I don't have enough time to do calzone. Every day. Dude, if you only lived together, I'd be like, you know, I always eat like shit. So I'd be like, on Sunday, when I get pizza and all this stuff, and you'll be like, I've been saving up for two weeks for this. I really would like that. You know, like a slice of pizza.

Yeah. You know I'm in a poor Reese's pieces on this tolente, right? You know I'm going after it. I'm aware. I'm aware. I'll be zen in my room. The shit in the way that Vecchio was so responsible with his diet watching me eat must have been like, this is this fucking animal.

I don't know why it doesn't hit me before at all, but we should do like a one month wife swap of let Will Witsky live in Jacob's place and then Jacob just moves in with Lou. I would, the show will break up. You know, Jacob, I think Will would be fine in Jacob's apartment. I think you're funny. I'm just saying give Will a place to stay. Oh, I know, but I'm saying the thought of,

I just immediately thought of Lou lighting up a cigarette inside It would be a double murder. Can you guys do? Can you do this? Listen, doesn't that be this Moon Tower although it would be great if it was that to To true Moon Tower, can you guys share a room? I want to hear the stories of you guys just Observing each other for a couple days. I would want to take it on on the high seas and have them share room on a cruise ship

Wow, dude, that's we're gonna be in a fucking date line NBC episode. Yeah being interviewed for sure Yeah, where shows how I want to buy waters Yeah, man one of you guys getting tossed over the other one disappearing You guys wouldn't spend you guys wouldn't't spend like a week together in a place. I don't know. I just think my general smell is a turn off to Jacob. Like I don't. I mean, how good a person Jacob is.

It took everything in there to not just so holy agree with you. When you say, my smell offensive in Jacob went, it's like, I was gonna give me a like, he's right. Can I say it? You don't have to say it to you. I must say it. I mean, the fluid despise me for the same reasons I would despise it. No, no, no, I can't say the opposite reasons. No, I think it'd be...

The opposite reasons. You would be upset with the smells and the smoke. The smells and the smoke and all those all. Zippin' in the bopin. How about the place where he can't smoke inside No, it's not happening Jay. Yeah, but smells I bring in from outside Please I mean I'll do it give my brother a nice vacation. He'll love your place Yeah, and then you can and then you can constantly bring your girlfriend over to pour kwajaka blissons

The thought of Jacob and Lou having a I love the idea so much before bed talks It's such a great idea. Lou. What are you thinking about? cigarettes What are you thinking about as a great Joey? Lekano is a great American day when it when's Stan and snuck go to sleep in the same room He goes what he goes what do you think people are having sex right now? Yeah How many yeah What do you think people are having sex right now? Yeah. How many?

Yeah. Ton's probably 80. I would love those, Jacob and Lou. We should do those as a special downward. Black Lewis, it's not a phenomenal idea. It's absolutely the greatest idea I've ever heard. It's the greatest idea that you guys spend. We'll put up Zoom, we'll put up Ring Doorbells and then audience, like, let's big brother you guys

for just, four days. I would kick in three days. We can do it a hotel. We'll do it a hotel in the city. You'll do it a hotel in the city. What's that? You'll do three, four days? He's the producer and it wants to say yes.

But nothing wants to say no. It's one of these things where he's like, Black Lou, unobjectively, this is a fantastic idea. Yes, all I can picture in my head is Will taking a selfie video and Jacob's apartment like Hey, it's me. I'm ready to go. Jacob's apartment night one. Oh, just the excitement around it He's like he's got this awesome Nazi book. Yeah, I'm gonna look into this first some interesting stuff I got planned to have to read in that. Yeah, I'd be great if you came back And there was just an imprint of will on your couch, but definitely we're not to send will to Jacobs No, we can get him a hotel for four days. We can get him a hotel room

You know or nice air B and B and yeah, we can and we'll pay Jay and I will pay for the air B and B Yeah, and then you guys will I don't know what Jacob's doing. It's puzzling me. He's attacking me with I thought is that what is he was doing to me before he's igniting and looking with his eyes wide. He's not some Florida Gator shit and he's like trying to walk me down. He's going back down Gator. He's. Back down Gator. He's just going. Listening, I'm taking it all day. There's no chance of this anyway. Lou, we can get there. Check up.

Lou's already there. That's a great idea. Also, I think the world should get off fossil fuel. We do that too. Can we do that next week? Well, you'll be using less fossil fuel because you'll be in the same place It's a much greener solution. Oh, you guys are going green. Let's end world famine. Yeah, but that's we can't do that

We can't do that. We don't have these ideas. It's a great idea No, we can't do it. We have a chance of ideas. It's terrible analogy. We can't oh, yeah, you're right because what is affordable Is us getting you a fucking two queen room down at the Hilton and slapping some fucking Ring doorbells around there some good audio. Yes Jason. It's a good toe dip into the thing I'd like full-time together, but I think a fair thing would be moontow or because very like there's gonna be a times when like When he is gonna have to take a dump and one's gonna take a shower or like the crossover's gonna be just fantastic. He's trying to walk you down the other job that I'm doing. You're not gonna kill my girlfriend and how great this is, that's an idea.

Yeah. It's a fantastic idea. And you are wicking out because you know it's a fantastic idea. I'm telling you, it's cracking through. It's a week, it's a week of shows, easy. Oh my god, the recap. The Lew and Jacob tapes? The odd cut, the odd cut.

Hahaha. It's. You guys odd coupling would be. Black loop. If Lew took a dump in my hotel room. Well, it's, it's, it's, it's your boat, it's both your hotel room. It's, it's when he came out, he would find me hanging from a news. No, no, no, no.

First off, finding a pipe that's strong, having rope on you. Two, two rope on you You're planning on too much going on with this fucking Tells are new constructions I'm pretty sure that thing ain't union you come right there. I drywall you go right through that drywall Yes, Mary it no way. Yeah, don't be crazy and Lou. It's not your duties anyone's not putting this on you Lou trying to make a thing now. Lou, do you think how you would be annoyed by like day three? Fuck, forget. DJ Lou.

Here's what DJ Lou's gonna get through it because what's gonna be the funniest is when he drills home after being lost with God knows who and three in the morning and collapses in the room drunk on Jacob who's like, you know, wearing a picture in nightcap. Yeah. And like, you know, wearing a picture of a nightcap. Yeah. And like, some sort of apparatus.

Yeah. And he's just like sleeping like a little, like a little baby angel and then a portable humidifier next to his face. And he's like, you know, my fight is back of sun chips. He sits down and he goes, roomy, gotta talk to you. You ever met Charles from Seattle? He's a camper. I like him. Charles no, I'll describe him. Fred Shirt. Garden's also. Did I love it? It's killing Jacob.

How could it? Blackloo is begging for it. Yeah, blackloo. Come on guys, can we put it to a vote? And blackloo will like, you know, he'll be responsible for, uh, like getting you guys a capture to him. What's going on with all this? Yeah. All right. Jacob's not in yet. Jacob said yes.

So that's on. DJ. DJ. DJ. Le. Yeah. I just, I just asked that Lou be able to smoke inside. Well, we can't do that.

It's a hotel hotel. Hotel. Oh, okay. And we don't want to subjugate. I'm going to put you for, you know, we don't want to get. But you don't know how I cut loose in a hotel. Oh, okay. And we don't want to subjugate. I'm gonna put you. Jay, you know, we don't want to get. You don't know how I cut loose in a hotel. You don't know me. Right? If I were you describe me as I don't even know that person. Sorry, dude, when you put always in there with the baby oil and the condoms, the humidifier. No, I'm just saying, I think

you're not going to be psyched as I Wayne Dillis in the hotel room. What'd you say? You go no clothes because it's just me. Yeah, well it's gonna be you and Loo's maybe so choose to go do that maybe some euro cuts by the way lose girlfriend is coming to the even better now this idea is really coming around this is getting good now three so now you're sharing a room with a little girl friend boot camp you're really getting the full will experience this is fantasy will camp you play VR will you go in by the way we got to up you to about a pack of day Bring a man dude you sub in as his twin. Oh, man Yeah, you guys gonna exchange lives or live together for a little bit do those two things has to happen

Yeah, you can use your own voice Jacob. I won't change your voice No, I mean no you want my answer You're gonna say no. I'm saying no. Geez. No. All right. I'll be honest. He really let down on this black Lou. Yeah If it's black Lou look at damn it. He knows you guys as co-workers you guys are friends He knew the answer to But his producer brain knew the correct answer. Sure mind it too If I want to I thought my producer if black glue didn't have a

Family he had to care if he would do an immersive weekend with DJ Lou and see how the whiskey boys live I would I bet that's absolutely documentary. I'll tell you what I would I would come off the wagon for that immersive experience Oh my god, I would be smoking butts. I would sleep right in every ass. Trays also wet. I love it. I would love just to watch the news and smoke cigarettes with the whiskey boys Kill for it. Eat handfuls of fucking corn pops out of the box. No, just have a nice cold one in a cigarette Well, wait, you know, I don't think these are the real things of your life I just always think it's funny to design. That's what I don't want to explain that before you get mad I don't think you wear a night cap or I don't think you're a nerd. I don't think Jacob's nerd either. I'm fine with it all

Okay, then wear a night cap. So Jacob thinks it's cool You two living together. Maybe we don't do it at Moon Tower Maybe we just you know do a week of it. We'll just do a week together You know a reality show week together. New reality show. You guys are working a set reality show. Listen, we can get some funding from the Bonfire merch.com. The Bonfire merch.com. All right, big Jim. Big Jim. I know, Bob. Jim Bo. All seems to have fallen through. I haven't heard anything back about it. And there was another big, lofty plan. I figured out we also threw out of it.

Well, Jim Bo, I don't know how big Jim dropped cheeks that big. Yeah. But it looks like I think there's still a chance. People are tagging us that Bunsen basketball wants to come to NYC that he's don't ever promoter. I know. And Big Jim doesn't get name sounds good on a wire. Big Jim presents. Big Jim's, Big Jim's butts and baskets. Jim, please.

Come on. Let us call this thing Big Jim presents. We'll even let you wheel out your hot sauce that you can tried to soft launch Big Jim's fiery garlic He's got an a only Kick your dick in and he's gonna premiere a Jim big Jim's buns and baskets come the big Jim's presents Bons of basketball it's not buns and basketball it's buns and baskets because we have to change the name, you know trademark wise Bons and basketball it's Bons and baskets because we have to change the name, you know trademark wise. Oh, no No, he's presenting their product. I don't know. I heard he had investors. I heard there were angels also like a smoked ribs burn off

Yeah, outside Dallas barbecues co-sponsoring please and I'm gonna get you one of those below ties with the tie ones Do you know I mean? Yeah, string Yeah, Colonel Sandler and big Jim only speaks in third person. Oh, big Jim's real proud of his bonfire boys. Big Jim locks his seats here for the buns and the bag of Bob. I'll tell you what they tell those tailways off. I see those big buns. All right. Big Jim, we need you to call him to the show. We need you. We're holding firm. This are negotiations. Yeah. You have to give us one of these three things Bones are fast too. We're asking for three things you can't give us one of them come on

We want this is like when you have a sleepover and you go to your mom and you're like pizza or movie or both come on We want buns and basketball. Yeah, what was the other thing? What was the next day me and Luke couldn't think of it outside What do we drop on Zimbabwe for oh we traded something in for it However due to the amount of marijuana we smoke I cannot remember It's not that marijuana is probably will bring it back. No, that's what I'd like to believe But I take up your sober notes aren't helping Real nice your cop notes don't work Just a fact that's one mill something with one Mills was it with Juan Mills to get oh oh

It was for us Well readings or something while we think of it black glue with the third thing though I'm late my demands done a big. Yeah. Sorry. Third thing. Third thing is that these are demands These requests don't call them demands when you yell back at me. I know you're the boss But listen up, motherfucker. Bonson basketball, something with quad mills. They will recall some point. Or a Louis Jacob sleeper.

We have to, you have to get behind a project, produce a project, where we get some sort of a cabin house and just in the, we'll take it to your neck of the woods, Jacob, where we can go, the will be wilderness. We'll go out there. But you and Lou and the wilderness for a week, just one week. You could teach him how to fish. He could teach you how to fucking light a cigarette off another cigarette.

Yeah. You could teach you how to siphon gown. You can teach him how to build a mess. No night caps. Yeah. No gowns. Just two guys ruffling out in the woods. Come on. Do come on, Jacob. You're you're teaching him out of hunting. The only thing is the one thing that's it's a must for me. Yeah. And I hate to micromanage this. Throw it out there. There are new guys. No ideas are bad ideas.

I need you guys sharing a sleeping space. You can't have your own respective rooms to go to. You gotta be in the same four walls for slumber, for recharge. Jacob, I'm not gonna lie, and I don't wanna be this guy, and we've never had this relationship on the air. I'm gonna put my foot down and say

that's gonna be a half-dial. Well, have to, this is all provided. Big gym comes down. We get the funding from Big Gym's bail bonds. Which I think is possible. So this point, Jacob, if I were you, I'd be a lot of being hard to get buns in basketball on a town or something involving Juan Mills.

Yeah, I would go for the first two options because if not, we're bearing down on third. Because that's one is that's very doable. Third is the most I think now we're seeing it. Third is the most possible. I'm sorry to think about maybe big Jim throws the axe at this one, then I'll say maybe me and Dan just produce this. So self-producing. You think I've been running the made. You think I've been scrolling away that billions money. There's money to be made. I know how we talk on this show.

I've been saving my money. There's money to be made in the Jacob DJ Lou. roommate, biz. roommate, for sure. Jacob, I'm gonna say that there is room for biz and biz is a boom. It biz is booming. And let me tell you this. We're filming it. Yeah, it's like a hard jersey. Sure. Yeah. Like you guys every once in a while We just send you want to vacay together, but you got to do things together Jacob. He's not you're not taking us Jim make him big Jim

I'm calling you big Jim Dear big Jim up on 37 please make Jack up live in the woods Jacob's looking to get far Jacob wants to get fired and go back to Florida He's over looking for a severance package so we. Jacob wants to get fired and go back to Florida. He's over. He's looking for a severance package so we can go fucking feed the gators. Go back to Florida. I'll send Lou with you. I think I won't send Lou with you. Do it, Jim.

You want to force me? You want to force me? You want to force me? Big Jim. Show some respect. Yeah, dude. All right. Grande Jim.

Second idea. You get to go to your happy place. A room in your mom's house for some reason the dollar room of the bed but things in the first place some of you said a room with your mother's house your safe space. So what's bad? But we send Lou to stay with Jacob and his parents. I mean, that's Lou, how do you feel about that? I don't think we'll last two hours, but I'll try.

You don't have a choice because you're being paid by big gym and buns and basketball money. It's not fair to me because I respect lose like lifestyle, but he could put up with me, my lifestyle. It doesn't affect him as much as mine. Dude, all your routines, I don't think I can sit through all your fucking things. You got to get through a day? Oh, the show's already taken off. What's my routine?

I don't know my routine. Hey guys, I'm gonna need you to stop the pitch meeting real quick because we're getting too many buyers So they should clean and wipe down and personal things please clean sheets who wants that so gross? I'm not helping you. I'm doing to help you stand them Next week on a very special Jacob and Lou ruffin it. Oh my god,'re out in the woods. They can fund on me for having a What don't I what don't you don't even know how I clean?

What are you clean? I know how you clean? I remember when you said that you and your brother hired somebody to clean your apartment like it was a fucking monumental thing One's the last time she was here then it's called a deep cleaning mother fucker Yeah, when was the last deep cleaning? What was last word? I'd say we're due for one. Thank you Now look I can't say the date because it was the last time he said it on the air now Lou do me a favor Lou now break away and just look at your camera and just do a confessional like You're upset about what Jacob's been the way he's been treating you in the house. Yeah, please

Jacob's really getting to me today. How many times you gonna watch your fucking hands? I'll do the producer. I'll be the producer too. It goes, what's the problem? He's watching many times I want. Jacob, I'm gonna need you over here to talk to me. Sorry Jacob. I'm in a booth. He's in the booth.

He's in the confessional booth. Yeah, let him. I'm in a booth. Jacob, you wanna confessional booth? You feel like you wanna confessional booth? Go ahead. You can't replace. Jacob, I'll be producing your interview.

Just give them a second. Go ahead, Luc. Sorry. Okay, I'm gonna feed you some things. What could Jacob do different the way he approaches you about your stack-ass sheets? Yes, I know, I'm not as clean as him, but he doesn't have to make me feel bad about it every day.

Oh, that's true. Do you wish you could make him feel bad? Yeah, he's toothbrush. Great, great, there's more alcohol. Yeah, that was a good cut. Okay, can we have a producer's meeting real quick? Yeah, we got some stuff we can really make him look mad. That's good.

Jacob, hi for our interview. Yeah. What's going on? You doing all right? I'm not doing well. What's... I don't like, I knew it was gonna go down like this. I don't like that he doesn't respect the way I need to live my life. Yeah.

Did it hurt the way you said that you're, you know, you're cleaning in a weird way. He criticizes me for being an adult Okay, good now you guys We gotta go like this Jay okay, we're having our water balloon fight Let's let him out for the water balloon fight. I go we are gonna be busy in editing Producers do you see on the call screen? We have 10 grand thrown at the project? No by who? By big Jim better be John from New York my guy. I job from New York's in for 10 grand already Jacob. We got a buyer on the phone And big Jim if I know big Jim

He's gonna be coming in with big sponsorship. He's gonna be coming in with a maybe Tesla Oh, you probably get some time. I'm probably gonna test involve this. Oh, that peaked my interest. See? Oh, so there he is. Jacob, think about all the CW parties you're gonna get invited to. And listen, once this thing goes over.

We worked during the week. It can't be like this. You don't mean that. It'll be every weekend for like a month. And then we see how it goes. And then season two picks up. Seas, I mean, if we get picked up and if we do, it will be picked up for sure

Yeah, it's going to be a huge and then when you know and the inevitable season three also known as will's revenge You guys know you are the actual odd couple. Yeah, you're a guy who like you know you sanitize your hand to touch your dick and Lou doesn't fuck you would let a fuck up. He would let a J's on air Jacob. Oh, well, well, Lou also wouldn't let a toothless hooker spin on his dick so he could jerk off with the Loub either, but it was gonna say I was gonna say you fries out of the trash, but I like that. Okay, either one of those He wouldn't do, but it's just comedic effect Jacob. You're very well done now and I get it. You're stressed you're gonna be spending a lot of time because I already feel anxiety as if this has been happening already big Jim I can't know what the contemplating it gives me anxiety the way Jacob's turning on me. I'm leaning more towards wherever it is DJ Lou smokes inside

I'm gonna tell you right now we're at the pay cleaning fee because now I'm starting to leave it. Let him rip. I'll pay it let it rip Then I'm rip Jacob, but you're gonna be doing things that are gonna affect lose health Yeah, like making making tea. Yeah What do you want you're on a clearest you trying to get rid of that fucking throat code? He's got going He's gonna start coughing when he smokes again. Yeah, you knock that shit down with tea get out of here What you got a castle again, you knocked that shit down with T. Get out of here. What's your gonna cast? I'm wondering if we would bond if I gave him a glass of tea

and we actually just bond it over. No, it's gonna be best. It's gonna be nice for you to keep the tea. No, you are. That's the day moment. You are gonna bond. And then you're gonna find out that he's like wearing your underwear because he forgot to pack underwear.

And that's gonna make you skits, dude. Dan, give me the interview about the underwear. Okay, I'm gonna get it real quick. What would you say if you found out Lou was wearing your underwear? I would consider that a personal look a boundary that you don't cross. I tried to extend the knowledge branch to him and I made us tea and I thought it was going well and then he basically steals my possessions and wears them. Okay, all right.

Take your professional. Okay, great. I'll be in the evening. I'll be leading. It's what's going to be good. We have to learn how to start getting them work out. Oh, yeah, no, we need to find the beats. DJ Lulik, what's this?

What's Jacob complaining about? Like, you, something with his underwear? What's the big deal? I don't even remember doing that. But he's saying you do you feel bad about that at all? No, trying to find a stake. What do you guys eat down here? What kind of meat is it? Can we have some kind of meat today? I think we're at your unaware on our ranch somewhere. But I'm going to tell you right now the team blue team Jacob shirts

can be flying off the rack. But listen also Jacob you get to do, cause it's this show. So you have to have some like spice put in there. You're gonna get to do things you love, like outdoorsy shit to you. It's gonna be fun to watch Lou do. And then you just gotta hang out with Lou

and watch like, you know, I don't know. So with the pornography on your phone. So you're gonna go hiking and Lou's gonna be out of breath and he's gonna wanna stop, but you know what I mean? That's the funny. That's your, that's your thing. That's your thing. And then later you do lose stuff.

Oh, what's your 10 grand budget? No, that's A buyer. That's one producer. That's one producer. John from New York, I believe, is his profession. Which isn't, we might bill him as that as producer, but I mean, we got Big Jim coming in with the lion share. He got Jay and I.

Big Jim for sure is coming. I'm looking no less in serious figures. I heard he's freeing up my guess. Oh yeah, and I. Big Jim for sure. Come on. I'm looking no less than three years. I heard he's freeing up a liquidity in out of other things. I heard he's taking a serious stock and selling it. Yeah. This is gonna be huge. I mean, I heard he's moving stuff around to make this up.

I bet Steven Singer's ready to jump all over this around. I heard that's why he came onto the show. Yeah. And if you think Bambi's back by mistake, think again, large stake in this. Yeah, who do you think's gonna be HR for when one of us eventually grope a PA? Yeah. Bambi's gonna handle that.

Guys, this is in house, it's perfect. It's so perfect. And you two are the stars? And then every weekend, just like a, like like almost like exhibit like an intro and outro black lose gonna come deliver you a box of food But it's all supplies, but here's we're trying to get it like a blue apron or someone so the only food you can have on the weekend is cooked by you two together Jacob I don't see you if I don't see you and DJ Lou built try to fucking build a tent together. I'll fucking kill myself I can't not see that now. The frustration of you guys trying to build an old, old, poly tent.

And if you think I don't want to see a Hawaiian theme reunion show, what are you two show up to confront each other? The fighting and laze. I had a Lou out. I'll be, I'll spit blood, I'll be so mad. Because also you guys won't see your confessionals Till show where I mean that's the genius that we're all using the show. Yeah, well, that's what it's bad girls They'll always when they show up to the reunion. Yeah, then you're nice and flared up because now you heard all this shit

You thought by the end that you and Luke is you're gonna eventually do some sort of like you know what we learned a lot about each other Yeah, blah blah blah. What better for it. And I love you. I think even though we know for sure, we can't live together, what a fun, you know. And then you, we're closer than ever and then you go home. And you're gonna see episode five where he says that you snore like a bitch. Not even just that,

you're gonna see episode five when he sticks his toothbrush up his ass. You know what I mean? Like your toothbrush up his ass. And then Lou's gonna come in spicy realizing that you threw his cigarettes out half a pack And kept telling him you didn't know where they went. Yeah, no idea and you committed to that hard Is he is don't answer that Lou? Yes

Lou all handle that for you of course what? Hey, is Lou good at making fire randomly appear? No, he sleeps sleeping in the same room. Same room. Yeah. That's the fun. Yeah. Jake, you can sleep in those gun range. Yeah, dude. Well, we'll make sure that you have some noise canceling. I feel like you're going to have to have those jack producers on set to break us up.

We're going to hide. Eventually it break us up. We're gonna hide. We're gonna hide the bad girl's club producers. Are you kidding me? I think you beating a shit at a Lew Witsky four or five different times would be the funniest thing in a lot of television. Fucking pussy. You smoked again. You smoked again. This big gym called in yet?

Why is he probably calling Hollywood I heard again I heard he's on the phone with Merrill Lynch I heard he's on the phone with some several big players DJ Lou is actually he's not in but he's so in black Lou couldn't be more black Lou's also giving $10,000 I know Lou would hate this what what I look good I just wanted to say the other project that big Jim was going to sponsor was us taking over the Kwan Mills TV show. Oh, that might be too rich. That might be too rich. Okay, something big Jim. You're gonna a lot of scratch there. We can get this thing done. I cheap and I'm just gonna throw this out there. I would say let this be our proving ground.

We do it with the Jacob and Lu show. Take the money from that going to business with Kwan Mills. I'm just gonna throw this out there. I would say let this be our proving ground. We do it with the Jacob and Lucio, take the money from that, going to business with Corn Mills. Yes. What we do with our money after the Jacob and Lucio, but Big Jim, we're all we need right now. On fire productions will move to Corn Mills after.

We need serious XM, XL stations, of course. That's a big Jim. Did you get the number? You guys are actually making headway because I just checked my phone phone and I got a text from Big Jim and it says Big Jim presents the Jacob and Lou air being B live stream. Yes. Yes.

That doesn't mean I'm coming. I'm saying you know, we can get you. Oh, oh, Jacob committed now. Jacob just said it. It's called entrapment. We're just closing the doors around you. You don't realize that all your options are slowly slowly being taken away big Jim's not wrong big Jim presents the lot first of all Live stream that it should be a pay-per-view

We're don't even let us edit it. I wouldn't know. What do we do? The list of it I've got a lot of ideas for it that we're gonna need to talk off there that we were gonna launch But the main part is we have our two stars. We have our idea and we have our producer, so we're good to go We do big gyms in I assume it means he's in yeah, we got John from New York Is he texting you Christine John from and we got black loot we got several producers Everyone's on board to John from New York see if he has any cred John Coming on as a producer welcome to the project john but thank you i thank you

uh... so as a fellow producer i welcome you on board yeah i'll be i look forward to you know taking a look at this thing and uh... making sure the show launches right but you know i think we got a lot of pieces you have one i only had one request. I think you need to limit blue to three cigarettes a day. So it's very cranky, but also you have that aspect to piss Jacob off.

Can I tell you right now, I like where John's coming from. I tell you if you give him five, that's gonna drive him bananas. Yes, I would go up to five, but I like the idea. The idea is a great concept. Taking away some of the things you love. Yeah. Like taking away some cigarettes the things you love. Yeah. Like taking away some cigarettes from Lou

and fresh air from Jacob. Yeah. Smoking and talking. Air from Jacob. Sigarettes from Lou? Jacob's pissed that everyone in the world is on board with us. So I assume Christine couldn't think of this as a better idea if we tried. Black and blue.

I'm super excited. I love the idea of moving into reality TV space. That's pretty exciting and making Lou and Jacob stars. I love the reality TV space. I do. I think we move into the reality TV space and then we move back into on screen scripted with Juan Mills. Juan Mills. I really do think that's a gold mine.

What? Juan Mills? Yeah. I mean, I mean, I- I mean, I- I mean, I- I mean, I- I mean, I. I mean, I- Those movies do great. Yeah. I feel- I know there are certain things I know would drive Lou and saying that I don't want to- I don't want to put him through me either.

It's not for free. I know what- Check it. Certain things I- You're going to buy that ranch in Colorado. You got my ranch in Colorado. Three seasons, you're buying that ranch in Colorado. Easy.

Easy. I'm going to- I'm'm gonna be in Norway getting my facial Surgery done. That's illegal in the United States big gyms get to my Cheekbones by season three big gyms get to partner up. He's not able to afford you anymore You're gonna be a reality star Jacob. Yeah, you're gonna have your offshoot on Bravo the Jacob hour Jacob You are everybody's favorite person on the bonfire and meanwhile Looon Looon will are gonna have their own bar, chain open up in New Jersey.

For sure. Lew and Will, so we never have to split. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You ever tried their cigarette butt macaroni and cheese? You ever have a different fist from each twin pouring you a drink at the same,

when the same bottle? Dual pour. Yeah, they can live their whack-thout dreams You remember different fists from each twin pouring you a drink at the same one the same bottle dual poor Yeah, they can live their wack thou dreams of dry assume is that place they already currently live it and Jane I will just be behind the scenes just there's your friends stoking the fires sure I'm gonna start getting into like safari wear oh And I'm gonna be like dressing weird and after my Norwegian facial surgery you won't recognize me Oh me and Dan will probably help me will chop her in for one of the weekends and pop it like that'll be fun for the show. Yes. It's the day that me and you show up till it kind of mediate.

Yeah, but then it's gonna sound it's gonna get kind of weird when I'm addicted to the zycam. Sure. And you guys can't stop me from trying to fight cold. Yeah, the first addiction to homeopathic medicine. This guy's airborne intake. This guy's not insane. It's just herbs. It's just two and nothing. But look at these eyes are dilated.

Guys, feelin' it. Tell me you're jittery. I want it. J'all. And then me and Dan got a show up to like, stoked the fire's a little bit, but also let you guys one-on-one us again, so you can say more horrific things about each other

that will eventually on the reunion. And on the reunion, you guys one-on-one us again so you can say more horrific things about each other that will eventually on the reunion and on the reunion you guys be prepared may fight may fight listen you don't do a radio show in Andy Cohen studio for five years and leave not known will something about rath and television J well J well Yeah backfisted the situation in his mouth. I mean busted him in the archiposit we could and that's Eddie Kingston's finishing moving AEW. So that's a real life wrestling move she did and they've been to each other's wedding since you guys will get past here to find this few. Honestly, you guys are going to sit back in laugh, counting cash, is Lou Light cigarettes with dollar bills. We might stop after season three because I don't want and it's kind of might stop after season three because I don't want

and it's kind of what happens with these shows. I don't want it to get where you guys are putting on a show. I want the genuine that we cannot live together energy from the two of you. It's a gold mine. I don't know if I've had a better idea. I can't think of it.

I'm throwing a hypothetical at you because I know myself. It's not it's one o'clock in the morning we're sitting on the couch tonight start doing my resistance band training in front of you. What's your reaction? Holy shit. Why do you need to do yoga every second of the day guy? I got you. This is beautiful. This is just a spanner yoga. Oh my god. I'm gonna get my gold taller. See this is very good. Oh my god. I'm gonna get my little gold collar All right, let's take our first break you guys I think we're making headway. This is brilliant

Jay I really apologize for when I said that you don't have a production bone in your body It was drunk and I didn didn't mean it. Jay, take it in. That's why you're gonna be a PA on set. Oh. Oh. That's not nice. That's not nice. Why don't you get it in the way? I don't want you to get it in the way of my production. We're gonna take a break.

We're gonna come back with TI confronting a comic. Not here. Not here. Also, before we go to break, I want to say, break through in the corn mills thing. Black Lou, got a hold of them, and we're gonna interview them on Tuesday. Did he sound white?

Through DM, but he's very excited. Yes. I can't wait to see what he sounds like. Did he know the show or did he have no idea? No, he had no idea. All right, you could have won. But he does now. You could have said that on the commercial.

Told us something here. He's super psyched things in the bonfire, no idea. All right, you could have won it. But he does now. You could have said that on the commercial. Told us something. He did, he did, he did. He's super psyched, he's in the bonfire, no way. Yeah. Oh, that was not anything. Oh, this is why Lou's not in the house. Black Lou's why you're not in the house. This is why you're behind the scenes.

We'll be right back everybody. This is the bonfire presents Big Jim Presents, Jacob and Lou. Life House. Life House. Life House. Not the band. You've been listening to... SiriusXM's Bonfire!

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