The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Pic with Justin Silver

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

The Beastmaster himself Justin Silver took a nude selfie 15 years ago and Jay still shows it off to this day. In fact, he makes everyone in the room look at its healthy splendor. | Bobby mentions that he cannot win in a physical fight with his wife because she would outlast him. Justin punched a hotel television like a rock star. Jay remembers Christine taking a swing at him in a booze-filled stupor. This takes him down memory lane of Christine's many drunken misadventures. Christine shares chocolates with everyone to smooth out the aggressive vibe of all the fight stories. | Enjoy an encore episode of Jacob Loves Guys! Justin Silver on Instagram @iamjustinsilver *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly Great song Bobby is this like what I would do when I'd sing this right here I go like I could make a Mick Jagger thing like this Like this I do like it Give me a little more sway though. That's it right there a little more. Yeah a little more Yeah, I want you to in it like you just oh there, there it is right there! God damn it, look, get this on video. Uh! One, two, three, one, two, three, four.

One, two, yeah! Uh! No, go back to mean. You're in, your funk face. It stinks. It smells. Ooh, it stinks. Oh, it doesn't smell good at all.

That's the face. Ew, what is that? Yuck! Yuck! That's it! Funk it! at all. That's the face. What is that? Yeah, that's all funky. Oh wow. I like it flying There is I can I just gonna say this yes, I'm gonna say this right now fire Justin Yep, Justin's a good looking dude, man. Thanks. Sure, he's just picking his ear while you said that too. That's how fucking good looking he is.

I'm telling you, this son of a bitch. I don't know where you're just saying that. Buddy, you're walking across the room and I just looked over at your goddamn pink shirt that looks amazing on you. Did you ever see the picture of his beautiful penis? No. Oh. I'll send it to you.

It was the reason I got kicked out of the Comedy Cellar. I do not want to see it because. No, you do. I don't because I don't want to. No, is that? No, you can appreciate it. I have new ones. I'll show you. No, I have new ones. No, there's the dick pic.

Yeah, it's good. It's the only person I know is dick pic in my phone. I have a few I'm sure I've taken for jokes over time. And Kim, what you used to send me dick pics a lot of like funny, like memes and shit. Wait, you've seen it on YKWD. It doesn't matter. You've seen it. YKWD. It doesn't matter. You've seen it.

This is the pic. It's my head shot. It's the pic. I put it out of my head because I don't wanna have it in my head when I'm jerking off. This is the pic. And you're gonna wanna see the pic for sure. I mean dude, you don't even shave your arms, do you?

Do you? He shaves everything. No, Justin shaves his arms. No, no, no, I don't shave my arms. I don't. Bobby, Kelly. Yes, I don't shave my arms. I don't. Wow. Yes. I don't do that.

Photos. That's gay to shave your arms, right, Jacob? Are you sending this to my phone? Yeah. Oh God. Photos, okay, now this is easy for me because I just know this was early, early iPhone. Is it, it's like in your favorites?

What do you have? It's not my favorites. I don't have to go to my favorites. You have an album? It's way back. You were in my first eight pictures ever I had on my phone. Isabella? Oh yeah, Isabella was a child before this happens.

What are you doing? I was looking at you. By the way, directly next to a picture of two things. Me, this is great. This is what your dick pic is nestled between. A picture of me and the band Two Cents on a roller coaster indoors the Mall Of America that's going I went on corn tour

Your cock pick next to it to school pictures of Isabella Why aren't you should like put these on like a wall in a new house? Maybe we could like if we take that picture and put it on a big piece of canvas I wouldn't and then make it like it like Andy Warhol type color. Robert? Yes? Check your phone real quick. Thanks.

Oh, here it is. All right, I'm gonna close my eyes, and then I'm gonna look. I'm on back. I'll spy this. God damn it, dude! That is not real. The lighting is everything for sure.

Okay, I'm gonna, I mean. Your eyes are popping out of your head just at the thought of looking at it. She's seen it. She's seen this. It's the pick. I need to know who took it. I did it on the... Justin. Yeah, you see, the computer was in front of me and I was and I picked the... But he had, he made sure there was a light. It was a good light. Coming in. You want to see it Jacob, don't you? a good light coming in you want to see it Jacob don't you? Christine's giving a bad thing. It's not like I gotta get this being it's being pushed forward a little bit I was I was in the middle of like doing the thing with the thing

wait while everyone looks at penises should i pass out the valentines treats i bought? lou just look lou lou lou lou unless the lighting is on it's perfectly shadowed lou it's not it's good shit lou look just look lou there's like five separate conversations all going on about the one cock. Just look at it. Just look at it.

Lou, we're in a support group together. Look. Look, I looked. I looked. Just look. I'll never look at his face again. It's OK. Look at it. Just one quick look. Luke, why are you being gay about this? It's OK. You're not gay for looking. His face is shadowed, Lou. Gay.

Lou, look at me. It's just a beautiful penis. Why can't you just admire that? I'll drink again if you don't look. Look, look, look at me. It's just a beautiful penis. Why can't you just admire that? I'll drink again if you don't look. Look, look, Lou. I'll drink again if I do. Look. Why can't you just enjoy another man's penis? You don't have to suck it.

You don't have to kiss it. Is that really Bobby? Lou said, I'll drink again if I do. I mean, I just want to say one thing. It's hard to look at. It's hard to look at because it's so staged. For a while, it became a problem. I had to stop because it used to be what would come up

when Justin called. It looks like when Princess Leia was lying with Jabba the Hutt on that little. It looks like, you're right. It's very Star Wars. It looks like antique hut lighting from the Hutt's. Yeah, like an artistic. Now, let me ask you a question.

Yes. You got the, I love that you a question. Yes, you got the I love that you trimmed your asshole out too. So you didn't see your butthole. No, no, no That's just the lighting was that good. I mean dude, I can't when you go to the farm. This is how you learn to do lighting Now, how do I get this off my phone? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I need to get it. Let me see it. Let me see Are you ready? Yeah, I'm gonna show you sideways God damn it now look at the job of the high I wish his body wasn't involved am I right on the money with now look at job of the look at princess layer And now look at his penis. Hang on guys come to find out penis look and now the hut

And now and now the penis and now the princess layer andia's penis. That's what I thought it looked like. Justin is like Princess Leia with a penis. Here's the thing. He's got his, like usually the helmet will be a little bigger. It's his shaft. All the way to the helmet is the same size. Jacob, could we, or no, Justin, do me a favor. Could we do a photo shoot now where you are with your wiener

out like that and I'll be job of the hut behind you yes and you could be chained to me sure that would be nice here in the studio Jacob C3PO you be C3PO the Jedi's were so great it's not just a penis pick, it's a full body pic. Full, full. That you didn't mention at first. Well, torso, torso. I thought it was just like the penis. It's torso. It's torso. Let me ask you a question.

Where do you get the vision to take that photo? I took it for someone. I feel like that for me. I feel like that. I feel like that. I took that. I feel like that, like, that's not a photo that you take. Like, that photo find you like

It just happened. It just happened to me. Yeah, that's it just happened to be did you look at the back? Like were you like, oh my god, this would be this backdrop. This lighting is perfect Let me let me get my kiss. This is old school. Here's what I assume Justin I got this let me defend you. It's a computer screen. They're coming at you. I think I got this I're coming at you, I think, a little bit hard here. I don't think they're coming at me hard. I got this. I'm coming at you later. My assumption was Justin was trying to discreetly masturbate with men on the internet on one of those jack sites. And then when he saw himself, the lighting,

which was at the time thought of to be shameful lighting, so he hides his face from having sex with, cyber sex with men. Good fucking song, dude. But, but what happened was when he saw himself, he goes, listen, now that I can do worlds here, I can also take this picture that women will very much enjoy because look how fucking good I look right now

and I'm so hard from guys. Not knowing that his friends would enjoy it just as much. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, he knew for sure. I'm telling you, I got this. I know my friends. This picture wasn't sent to me like a little bit later. This was, but, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. He knew for sure. I'm telling you, I got this. I know my friends. This picture wasn't sent to me like a little bit later.

This was, but it's such a good picture, I will tell you. And this is, Justin. Did he send this picture to you that night? Justin, yeah. Justin, am I being fair that I can tell you the night? I'll tell you what I just said to you. You so you took this picture. The year of our Lord.

You took this picture and then immediately sent it to Jay. I probably, I probably would have would've been like buddy check this out There's got to be some facts on this thing, right? We're very open with each other which because we're not gay Yeah, you know I mean guys do you have no problem. It was sent to me. This is great. This was sent to me 104 a.m. 104 the morning. Yeah, January 15th, which means it's cold outside, 2010. Wow. I've had this picture in a phone for 15 fucking years.

That's crazy. And that, let me just say something. Do you know how hard it is to take a good photo in 2010? That's why it's the pic. That's why it's the pic. That's why. And I do. So now for 15 years, am I being fair, Justin, saying every three to five, I get a random thing one day. He goes, dude, didn't me fair?

I'm sitting with this chick. Send me the pic. The pic. And I go, I guess, and I know. I go, thing, and I go way up. You go back to 2010 in my pictures. Buddy, the second second the message is delivered that thing is on its way back like he's been waiting I go buddy. I can't wait to wingman this you got it, but I got it handy I know right where it's at say no words. I go there we go

Isabella me and two cents on a roller coaster Justin stick now. Do you have any other pictures that the only pick I've got an album you want to see it? Yes Look at my dick dude. It's like rock hard right now Fuck the thing is it's in my hidden pictures where there's also pictures of my dogs that died So I gotta deal with that. I mean that's quite Yeah, I haven't separated the out. I mean you should like things I don't want in the pub, but why would you have to hide that at all? Yeah, I don't like to have a look at pictures of my dicks or dogs

I got two rules and dogs. I don't want the world to see You can try to explain it but it doesn't make sense it's not gonna make sense I mean do it well well well, okay Hang on not look in a bad earth. Yeah, like thing is so, I mean, what's that black box? Is this like an art thing? That's my TV, Bobby. You need to get a bigger TV, or your dick is huge. First of all, first of all, that's just a funny,

that's just a really funny picture, though. I got a bunch of these. No, no, it's just a funny picture, just standing with your bird hard. It's just a funny picture just think they're pictures standing with your bird. It's just a funny thing that day Why why does he have such a small television? That does that is a question we have to ask ourselves. What else you got? I don't have one picture of myself that I like and he has a whole portfolio nudes These are all like my stop being so choosy. I mean no those are all naked. Those are chicks

Oh, yeah, let me see some of those okay my dick pic picture my individual dick pic picture has got to be from 2000 and we all saw that nine no no no that one that was what somebody took of me like the dick pic dick Yeah, I have is Same thing it's got to be a two thousand. I mean you know what the fuck I? Never want to hear you complain about anything. I'm depressed. Just drink! Dude, with that dick? Just drink!

Use drugs, man. Where is the ones... I mean, this is... I mean, I don't even know what that's about. Can we look into... There is pandemonium in the fishbowl today. There's a lot of people here that got the security up big time. Now, the other day that was going on, it was for Kirk Franklin's gospel explosion

of Jesus all over your mama's ass. And we thought about possibly walking in black Lou and treating it like a lost child you take back to a mall security. I'm talking for nothing right here. But he's using a rap talk in a dick pic. I'm so sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry.

He just showed me something. No, no, don't, don't, don't. I'm so sorry. He just showed me something I'm not gonna say nothing No, I don't want to distract was this I'm being rude was this dick and dead dog in the same picture is his dog dying from his big dick. Oh, no That's how he killed all that's not that's not true. I know Is that why you have the word euthanizer tattooed on your cock? That's why he started fighting the Fido. He was the the word euthanizer tattooed on your cock That's why I started funny for Fido. It was me the euthanizer. I gotta save the dogs that I kill Yeah, oh we gotta put her down. So let me go get up

For every for every dog. I murder with my cock. I saved six dogs funny for Fido The turns you have a swear jar you I apologize, he sent me some. You were talking about the people in the fishbowl today. It is. Well, no, I said Kirk Franklin's thing was here the other day, so that didn't, that never interests me at all. Aggressive black gospel, not the audience for it,

but today there's, it's Shade 45, and I asked who it was, and then Black Lou told me a name. It is Gorilla Something, and before you freak out! It's a white guy, I think. Gorilla Ma... Nims. N-E-M-S. N-E-M-S. I don't know what that means.

I want to hear it. Gorilla Nims, but you said they were pretty excited about it. Justin said it sounded good out there, and... That's what they were playing. Someone else said they said a crazy thing, like hip-hop pretty excited about it. Justin said it sounded good out there. That's what they were playing. Someone else said they said a crazy thing. Like hip hop's all about peace and love and dancing. Peace, it was love, fun, peace and love. Okay, let me say first of all.

If that's not in hip hop, it's not hip hop if it doesn't have those three things. If this is him, I wanna like him because it looks like me and him should be friends. Yeah, you'd be in a bowling league together. We both love sweatshirts, and we both probably hate the way we look on camera when our sweatshirt gets sucked underneath our tits.

Yeah. One could be the other one's stunt though. I have a feeling Gorilla Nems also isn't comfortable in his own skin when they film sitting. Yeah, both of you guys eat late at night by yourself on a pillow. Both of us love sitting, and none of us love being filmed sitting. Nims. Oh, he does songs with Ghostface and them? And them? And thems?

Oh, this is gonna be awesome. Ghostface and thems? Sorry. I'm a fan already. Sorry, I'm a fan already I'm not gonna lie. This is very throwback to stuff. I do like this doesn't sound like The tight pants wrap that I do not enjoy Okay

Speed is awesome Jacob do me a favor. Um, go over there with Justin's dick pic and go, Hey, has anybody seen this guy? You should be like, or say, Hey guys, I'm sorry, I lost my son. Has anybody seen him? And then be like,? Oh what? Young buggers, dungy bungers, dumb biggie. I had two bitches on my bucket list and I fucked them in the same night. Fuck that shit. She fucked all your mans, you still cuff that bitch. I might spit in her face and then snuff that bitch. Misogynist.

I don't know if I agree with all this. Oh Bobby, Bobby? Can I give you a good, let me tell you my favorite thing. Christine already knows where I'm going with this. I'm still thinking of Justin's cocks in my head. I can't get it out. You gotta get the jacket. Christine's on one.

I need to get this off my phone. For Christine's definitely on one. She barked at me yesterday for helping her up when she fell and telling her that she was about to trip herself back up again. Then this morning, so the only algorithm that really hits me on any kind of things, I guess besides streaming services, is YouTube. Because I'm not really on TikTok at all and Instagram is not really an algorithm, I don't think.

So like, it's just the only thing I have is YouTube. And so Tuesday nights, late Tuesday nights when Corey Holcomb's new show comes out and I just click it cause like again, especially now like, Eagles talk is gonna be over, Sixers are terrible. So my YouTube's gonna be true crime.

And when I'm just listening to stuff, it's Kevin Brennan stuff, you know, like Kevin Brennan and those guys fighting constantly. It's shit like that. And Corey Holcomb comes up every week. So I click it and I just, you know, plays in the background those guys fighting constantly and shit like that and Corey Holcomb comes up every week so I click it and I just you know plays in the background while I get ready and shit and Years ago. I remember Isabella showed me Cardi B before she became even a rapper she was like on a reality show like love and hip-hop or one of those things and

She was Isabelle was young and showing me Cardi B and I was like Isabella like I know you like this, but you think, I was so worrisome to me that I was like, you're laughing at this, right? You don't think this is the cool thing you wanna do. You get why she sounds ridiculous. You're not supposed to be an adult and say, why you mad at my Tifa's or whatever,

whatever crazy shit she was saying. I was like, you realize she's an idiot, right? I mean, all the way to the bank, she became humongous since then, but okay. But I was just like, whatever was the behavior, I was just like, you don't wanna mimic this. Like, you get why it's funny too and stupid. And she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know. Christine says to me today, she stops, she goes, like, do you agree, like, you don't like listen out cuz you like agree with them Cuz like you listen to it like all the time now I mean she was checking me to make sure that I don't not getting in my head like Sometimes a bitch just got to be told to shut the fuck up And all she's hearing is like is Jake gonna start doing this to me. She's getting worried She asked me if it was she asked me to make sure that she asked me to make sure that I wasn't picking up

bad habits from Cory Holka. You know what I mean? Fuck you, too. She's like, you think it's funny and ridiculous, right? You're not nodding your head with it, are you? It's such a dumb question. Of course we're not, but we are. Look, when the motherfucker's right, he's right.

I'm just like, oh my God, why it'd be like, I don't wanna listen to. Melissa, here's what I told her. You know how funny it would be to put your face to the glass for real? Oh, it'd be so great. If Dawn, like this morning when I was like, hey Dawn, can you wanna have some breakfast?

She's like, make something. If I could've just grabbed her cheek and mushed it on a window and be like, make me eggs, bitch, how awesome that would be. I know you guys wanna live pimpin' ho life. Yeah, we would, but we're not. We just really wish you had hoes. To be, but just double checking to make sure,

like you don't really have to, but by the way, I did tell her this, I go, no. I go, it's like Patrice, he's saying like over the top crazy things. I go, now, if I gave him an assessment, to make an assessment of you, I bet you he would be dead the fuck on. I go, whatever it is you're afraid of Corey Holcomb

teaching me is because you know if he heard you and how you conduct yourself, he would have something to say about it. You should have went like this if you were smoking. You should have went, hey, how much you weigh, Christine? And she'd tell you and go, throw the cigarette in the ground, go step on that bitch. Put that out.

How much you weigh. Dude, I would love to be a fucking pimp. Just a misogynistic asshole, I know. I wish I could. If I was handsomer, I would definitely win. If I thought I could take Don. If I was attractive, I would really treat women like god. If I thought I could take Don, like 100% in a fight.

You don't fight your wife because you don't know you could take her. I just don't know. I'm not fully like 100% that I can win. You know what I mean? Not that I could, listen Jay, it's not that like she would beat me up, I think she could outlast me.

And then I would like be winded and she'd be like, now it's my turn, motherfucker. You're gonna be able to absorb, pardon me for using a Mike Fennoe term I love, you're gonna be getting wailed on by her nerf knuckles, dude. It's not gonna be able to put you down. And when you regather your strength calmly and quietly while she's trying to hit you with girl stuff,

and you're recovering, your energy's building back up, and then you come in for round two, and now you're even angrier because you had the audacity to hit her. I don't know, I think Dawn would grab a cutco knife and stick it in me 75 times real quick like a prisoner, right in the liver. You could not stop them from murdering you,

that is for sure. Motherfucker, you just hear this, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, bitch. Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa. Like a prison killer. Motherfucker, I had three brothers. What do you think, if there was an idea, anybody in this room who would be part

of like a national story, who would it be and why? Do you know what I mean? Like is it gonna be like Christine, like a Bobbit thing? Could you imagine if like, we had no, we never saw that coming that Christine cut Jay's cock off and threw it out a window. No, we saw that coming.

I know, okay, but I'm saying some people. We definitely see that coming. It's happening as soon as you move into that house. Yeah. I feel like I can see that, definitely. Yeah, you're not gonna shrivel work one day. Do you think that's the- Christine's gonna come in with a ripped hoodie

and blood on it. The most likely national tragedy in this room is Christine cutting off my penis and throwing it out of a car window. You could do pros elimination. I could not see anything like that happening with Black Lou. National news, Black Lou? You could just go backwards and deduce.

I couldn't see anything like that happening with Black Lou. He's got a lot of white family he could kill. Lou's got a temper too. I've never seen it. Lou's, yeah, I know, but that's what's scary, is you don't see it, but it's there. He was just trying to teach his father-in-law karate and Spin kicked his head off.

It was a total accident. Jacob. I already know mine. Jacob could be a thing, yeah, it's like, when they fucking eventually ran the door open and Jacob's just sitting, playing with like a, he's picking flowers off a sunflower surrounded by dolls I've been waiting for you gentlemen there's a map with red strings all behind him the one I have nightmares about is you're gonna

find me three days later with my eyeballs eaten out by rats oh do you have rats in your apartment why didn't Jacob show up for the the live show you've rats in your apartment? Why didn't Jacob show up for the live show? Do you have rats in your apartment? We'll check in three days. They're around. He left the window open. They're around? Yeah. Whoa. Why don't you shoot those? You shoot the iguanas.

Yeah, Gus, Gary, and Frank. Why don't you get in a fucking iguana now? Oh no, I mean, I got plenty of stuff to kill stuff with in Florida. You don't even have something to kill? Oh, you're up close combat here? A rat? A shoe. Why don't you challenge, why don't you, next time you see combat here? A rat? A shoe? Here it's up close.

Why don't you challenge, why don't you next time you see a rat, kick a knife towards them and then you pull a knife out and you go, let's do this my way. I haven't seen any in the apartment yet. That's my knife. Oh, they're there. Oh, so that's the reason you haven't slid a knife over

and challenged them to a knife. Okay, good. I wanna make sure you took that seriously. Get little plastic bags and put them around your bed at night. And then if you hear a little wrinkling and crinkling, that's when there's a rat in your house. Or it's sucking your dick.

Yeah. Yeah, put peanut butter in your dick. Put my dick pic over your bed, they don't come near it. Oh nice dude, that'd be great. I would love to get like a huge, that blown up into a massive photo. We could. I'll send you a print. Can we do that and put it in your studio downstairs?

I don't mind that. I'm getting a truck, I'm thinking about wrapping it with something. You think I should wrap it with that? You should put that on the bed. Absolutely. You only see from the air? And just have the legs open and then like have that,

the black stripe that goes down the middle just be like over your ween. Oh, that's cool. That would be nice. That would be my poster for my album. Yeah, that should be your head shot. Get it? Head shot? I got it. Yeah, that should be your headshot. Get it? Headshot.

I got it. Yeah. I got it the whole time. Make sure. Whole time. Looking to throw a loop. I mean, Black Lou, definitely not, maybe, but DJ Lou was on the verge, but not anymore.

He's turned to the good side. Oh yeah, DJ Lou was still, yeah, most likely to make national news. Yeah, national, but not anymore. He's most, he's... Well, this guy keeps cruising for pussy in Compton. I mean, eventually it's gonna go haywire for you, dude. What, you never seen a guy longboard,

listening to Pearl Jam out loud through Compton? I'm going to the Slauson swap meet. I live on the edge. The Slauson swap. What a fucking bull, dude. I think it's gonna be Christine. Yeah. Gonna kill me. No, we're just gonna turn on the news one,

and she's just gonna be staring into the, with some, like, Blair Witch stick shit behind her. Right. Yeah. But she goes national for what, though? What has she done? It's, you're gone. It's killing me.

Yeah, you're gone. You're dead in a four-foot pool just floating. Yeah, maybe. Oh, my god. She is unhinged. Yeah. Well, she's getting a little, I mean, you know, she's trying to, you know, make sure you're not that guy. I mean, you are moving to a house.

You're gonna be, right now you're with neighbors, there's people around, there's safety, there's a door guy. You don't have a gun yet? They will. She's making sure that I'm not murderous and crazy? Yeah, dude, when you get a gun, you better lock that up. No, there's a gun box in the house. Gun box.

Found it. You better... It's accessible to everybody if you could find it. It's very, very cool. Just so you know, if you could find it, you can murder me or my own house. Look at the gun box. It's actually in a terrible place, I would say. That little hiding spot box.

I think it's perfect. But it is a fun place to put something. For sure. Like a gun. No. A grenade. Have you guys ever fought, like, where it got physical? No.

No? Physical, no. Like, have you ever fought where you wanted to get physical? No, I think one time, like, you know, she was standing in front of the bed, and we were arguing, and I pushed her, like, onto the bed, and even, I think, right away, even when I was like, I'm sorry, that's not, I'd only did it because it's a bed,

and I could push, and it's like, I knew it was, she was laying on the bed, but I was also like, it was such a bully move, I'm like, she'm sorry. That's like, I'd only did it because it's a bed and I could put, and it's like, I knew it was she was laying on a bed, but I was also like, it was such a bully move. I'm like, she can't do anything back. She just has to eat it. Yeah, when you land in a bed, you can't even get up quick. It's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to bounce a couple times.

I just like, I shoved her onto the bed and then I was like, sorry, that's such a bully. I was like, you just have to eat it. Yeah, he shoved me in and apologized and walked away. There was one time though when I was hammered and I just saw fucking red and just swung at your fish. Oh, the last night she drank, she came in to fight me. I mean, it was crazy.

I didn't film that, but yeah, she came to the room one point to just fight me. Wait, you have Christine going crazy films? Oh yeah, I mean, no, no, I don't have her going crazy. I have her drunkenly trying to explain why her drinking is not a problem currently, and it's great. It's not a problem. I would love to see those.

So when you swung it up. The audio of the thing we will play one day on this show, and Christine doesn't give a shit about it, but it's one of the funniest things ever. I've told the line a bunch when she says uh she goes you think I'm so susposable and I'm going that's not a word she goes it is look it up in the urban she was looking up in the urban dictionary and I go I got a twat when you're not drunk when you make a mistake with a word I go I go she was looking up in the urban

dictionary go I'll look it up in every dictionary in the globe, and I promise you, susposable's not a word. Those letters had never been put in that order. And that's when she goes, the timing is, I go, I'll look it up in any dictionary in the world, I promise you, it's not a word, and she goes, exactly. I wanna hear this. That's why Christine felt sympathy for that lady

we watched yesterday, the lunatic, who's demonic. She's why Christine felt sympathy for that lady we watched yesterday, the lunatic who's demonic. She's being demonic! I'm demonic. Christine was being demonic. That was her whole trip home. She got in the, I left, Fanoia, It was Rich Voss Rest. Yeah, unfortunately, you were there, yeah.

But we left, I left. You were drunk that night? She got drunk while we were doing the roast, bad. I got wasted during the show. It was the day after Skankfest. Okay. And I was still drinking. I just got wasted during the roast. And uh, so yeah, she, you know, when she was obliterated, so I left cause I, she was leaving with her. I go, yo, we're leaving. She was like, okay. And then we went upstairs.

And as we're getting to the front of the thing, I turned back to look at her to pay like, Hey, let's put it. And I looked back and she's not there. And then I looked back at the bar, and she's standing next to Gary Gorman going, let me get a shot of blah, blah, blah. And I was like, well, I'm fucking leaving. And I left, because I was annoyed by that, and that she was so obliterated so quick. And so I got in a cab, and Mike's like,

hey, while I'm leaving, Christine's coming with me. She got in the cab and told the cab driver, she goes, I'm smoking! Just smoked cigarettes inside of it. When she got out, she dropped her entire purse all over the ground. Oh, I thought that was when I was getting in. No, that was when you were getting out.

Because that's when Mike, Mike came in the house and he goes, you might want to go outside. Or he called me, he goes, you might want to come outside and get Christina. She's literally coming head first out of a car back with all of her stuff all over the ground. And that's when I started filming her. Not that part. I don't have her getting out of the car,

it was just her sitting smoking cigarettes on the stoop just saying banana shit. Why did you want to physically take a swing at him? Well I was making fun of her a bunch. I mean you talked to Jay, right? Yeah, you know what, I guess, yeah. The fact that, she said it's a word and you went, it's not in any dictionary.

It's such a passive aggressive, beautiful, twaddy thing to say. That was when she said, that's the same video I have where she goes, Jay, you don't have a production bone in your body. And I went, okay. Really stuck with him. He brings it up a lot.

Well, you notice it's just the only two sentences that are meant. Those were the two things that stood out as like the funny. It's such a weird. Everything's like, you don't have an action bone in you. But like, it's very dramatic. That's such a weird, that I remember. Those were the two things that stood out as the funny. It's funny. I'm wondering, everything's like, you don't have an action bone in you, but it's very dramatic. That's such a weird, that's such a funny thing to say.

That's what I'm saying, the funny, I remember it because it's such a, it's like nothing to do, I'm like, this is what happens when you drink, Christine. This is what, you're fucking up and blah blah blah, and you're saying, you don't have a production. Like, what the fuck does that have to do with anything? Jay, you don't know how to make a latte. the argument was that that sounds it's coming off of something

You're constantly going. I'm a great producer and you're not listening to me. I that's not happened I'm always a producer You're not a world-class tennis player Yeah, you don't know how to use AI. I don't even know what it was in reference to. No one does. It was just one of your insults for me. You were just like, you don't have, oh, it probably was me, you were probably doing like,

I'm drinking some, you know, we just had the gang fest happen, then I'm just kind of cutting loose thing. And I was like, okay, like it's a fucking three day, I was probably trivializing that, and you were like, you don't have a production bone in your body. How was her punch? Was it good?

Did you duck it? I don't think it can. It wasn't a punch. No, she wasn't. She came in with like a. I like, I like. She came in like the bedroom. I was laying.

My entire body just wanted to attack him. We have to understand. All I have, I can't hit her. I wouldn't hit her. So it's all gotta be words. And I'm great at that. So when she came in the bedroom at one point to do something, I wouldn't hit her. So it's all gotta be words, and I'm great at that. So when she came in the bedroom at one point to do something, I was like, whatever it was,

she came in and it was like, whatever pontificate, or whatever her proclamation she made, she was gonna go do, when I was like, whatever, I went in the bedroom and just started watching TV or something. Like, when she came in the room, I was, you know, whatever, I just made some kind of a mockery, I'm like, oh, what's going on, you couldn't get into the, you know, take over the world tonight or whatever you were going to do.

And then she came over, just came like, almost dove on the bed and started fighting me. I just kind of. I'm going to tell you this. You might not hit physically, but you do hit with words. Yeah. You beat people up. And it hurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What a, what a twaddy thing to say. What are you going to do? Yeah. Whatever she came in, I was like, oh, what happened? a twaddy thing to say, what are you gonna do?

Yeah, whatever she came in, I was like, oh, what happened, I thought you were gonna go down the street and fucking get some guys to beat my ass or whatever, you know, just like. Don't you, should've walked in there. Whatever, she was just like, cause I just came in the room and I was like, oh, hey, stupid, did you not do the fucking dumb thing

you drunk and we said you were gonna do? You should've walked in and been like, hey, don't you have producing to do? I mean, I hit someone. The best one, and then by the way, I think in that same argument then, she also threw, this was the dumbest thing ever, we used to get weed by an ounce in a bag, but it was just nuggets of weed,

and we would put it in a mason jar. This is different, that was before skanks one day. It was like between. It was in a mason jar, and she threw the mason jar. Wow. And it shattered everywhere, and then we're just like, our weed! That's our weed together!

It was, honestly, it ended the fight immediately because it was like, that was too far and all of our weed! We don't have a lot of money at this time at all. This is a lot of weed! It was a lot of weed, it was like a brand new ounce and I just threw it, shattered. You can't smoke any of it, it's glass in it now. No, I went, I immediately like like I threw it, it broke,

and then I got on the floor and started picking up the weed. I did that. Me and Don got into a big fight. So sad. We had a wine rack, the hanging on the wall and behind it were the cabinets, and we got into a big fight and I was in the kitchen, and I slammed, you know, fucking enough,

and I slammed the cabinet, and the wine rack fell off with all the wine, but there were glasses that her father gave her from her mother, and she went, my glasses. And I went, I'm so sorry. I felt like, I was thinking, I'm, I'm, I'm, I didn't mean to do that. We're fighting about nonsense, and you destroyed my heirlooms?

I wanted to just slam the cabinet. I forgot that the wine was... You're such a Johnny Depp of a motherfucker, man. He's like, how about my father? When she went, my dad's glasses. I was like, oh, fuck me. And you go, you're still brawling the fight, but that was... Ah, that sucks that I did that.

Ah, that sure does suck what I just did. I don't tell Jay what's important to me, so he doesn't know what to smash. I'm not a smasher. He's gonna eat your teeth. I was either. I'm not a smasher. I hate that dream catcher, it means nothing to me.

I would do stupid more, I would do stupid more like stuff to my, I'm like the definitely like bang my own head for sure, slap my own face thing. Punch a wall, punch like a door. You're an autistic kid. Maybe, but again, it would be something that I know Punch a wall, punch like a door. You're an autistic. Maybe, but again, it would be something that I know I wasn't fucking putting a hole through.

You have autistic kid fucking rage. Ah! I'm stupid! Well, it's better, it's better. I don't wanna destroy any of my stuff. So it's like, that idea of that, you know, it's like, even as a child is getting mad at a video game, you're like, well I'm not gonna throw

the fucking controller at the TV. All of those things are too expensive for this kind of anger. That's what I did in fucking Orlando, when I fucking, you know. What? You're like, well, I'm not gonna throw the fucking controller at the TV. All of those things are too expensive for this kind of anger. That's what I did in fucking Orlando when I fucking, you know. What? Destroyed when you rockstarred that hotel room? Yeah. You took a piss and shit right on the fucking dresser.

No, you're shit? You didn't give a fuck, dude. No, I got so upset that I, like, punched the TV on the road with mean soda. And I broke the fucking television. I punched a hole through it. And I lied about it. But I didn't mean to segue this.

It's OK. Justin, can I give this a go? I like slamming a door. Yes, go ahead, Christine. What do you got, Christine? For Valentine's Day, I brought everybody some C's candy. So this is a box I'm gonna pass around. Christine, can I say something to you?

I fucking love you. Wow. I love you. I love her too. I mean, that's so nice. But she's presenting it with a thing like it's everyone's favorite. No, no, no. She's's like everyone's favorite. No, no

No, she's giving you your her favorite. No, that is a choice So you can pick whatever little treat you want out of this is for who everybody every open it up and pass it around Okay, it's like a box of chocolate. Oh, that's we're not we're not each getting one of those. No, you're each getting I take it back. What a cheap bitch. I thought we're each getting a fucking heart. No We need to be that fat you're gonna get diabetes Bobby But what I did bring is my favorite candy the milk chocolate Bordeaux bar and some chocolate hearts for everybody. Oh, all right You're back in the door. I'm gonna feed you one of these. No. Yeah, put it on the head of your penis Catapult in his wing, which they would do plugs during this. Yeah, let it on the head of your penis. Let me grab one. Catapult in his wing. What'd you say?

Can we do plugs during this? Yeah, let's go. Go ahead Bobby, because I have chocolate in my mouth. Here we go. Justin is hosting Funny for Fido at the Cutting Room in New York City on Wednesday, February 19th at 8pm sharp. The line up is amazing. Jordan Jensen, Ian Lora, Kieran Fian, and of course you guys know and love Dan Soda. It's going to be great. You got any special guests coming? Oh yeah, we do, but we can't announce it because they are doing some... Very exciting. Yamanique is going to be there. All proceeds benefit the animals wounded and displaced in the LA fires.

Get your tickets at funny for Fido Org I did it last year rock great. Yeah, unbelievable. Yeah, it's a great Make sure you check out big Jay this weekend. You're where you at this weekend Jay. I am in Syracuse everybody that is gonna be Friday and Saturday night four shows two nights Check me out. Then I come home. Go out to Austin. I'm doing Kill Tony next Monday and then out to Los Angeles doing the podcast runs out there and then I will be doing a headline show 8 p.m. Friday, or I'm sorry, Wednesday, February 19th and then that night afterwards me and Louis J. Gomez doing a story wars there so

a few tickets for those left so get them now and then I'll be in Ontario California Bobby's gonna be in Naples this weekend yeah Friday night Louis CK is gonna be doing some new jokes guest spots Mike Kaltz is on the show Danny Raph Saturday night and then I'm on a forced vacation with my family and I'm spending thousands of dollars in Sarasota for this crazy thing and I'll be there doing that until Wednesday and then I come home. What? I forgot. I got you chocolate cigars special.

These are great. I fucking want to bite your face. I love you so much. I love the way she said cigars. It says cigars. Very loving. I love you. You should fuck her with one like Monica Lewinsky. Ha ha! Make sure you go to PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly and go to my YouTube page

YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly comedy watch my special. Oh fuck! This is my last day live before my special comes out next Thursday. This is what you guys gotta do. We gotta make sure that everybody goes to youtube.com slash big J Okerson on the 20th February 20th all day long every day tell everybody like comment subscribe you could have pushed it all week you could have pushed it on the show all week but we've now been forced into a vacation because Christine didn't think ahead at all and selfishly wanted to get her own time off this This is why sometimes you gotta push her on the bed. Can I say something? I love doing the show but I like doing it with you. Yeah. So I'm glad you're gonna go do your thing and then we'll come back we'll do the show together so there you go. So

thank you. It's better. It's better. Christine you did a good job. You did fine. Thank you for my dick cigars. Justin we love you. I love you. See you guys later. Crackle crackle. ["Jacob Loves Guys"] So I didn't understand this weekend that you told me that Jacob likes guys. And I didn't understand he's a deep.

Jacob loves guys. Jacob loves guys. That's right. Jacob loves guys. That's right. Jacob loves guys. I love them. So we have a sitcom that we wrote. With no further ado. Starring Big Jay Oakeson as Tim Butterly. Okay.

And Jacob playing Jacob himself. The role of Jacob. Here we go. He's looking angry. Ah! He's feeling shy. Meh. And we know why, we know why know why

Jacob loves guys Jacob loves guys Those ass cheeks Yes, yes, yes, yes I love it when a guy compliments my vibe compliments my vibe. Jacob loves guys! Jacob Loves Guys was filmed in front of a live studio audience. Interior Comedy Club, New York City.

The green room is mostly empty except for Jacob. Slouched on the couch, arms crossed, looking like someone just stole his favorite action figure. Tim walks in, sipping from a bottle of water. What's with the face, Jacob? You look like someone just told you Die Hard's not a Christmas movie. You really leaving? Yeah, man. I told you last week I'm moving to Austin.

Got that writing gig, remember? Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually do it. And Die Hard is absolutely a Christmas movie. What? You thought I was going to stay here forever just to watch you cry when the diner runs out of fries? No, I just thought, I don't know, that maybe you'd change your mind or the universe would stop you or like your car would explode. Yo, you wanted my car to explode? Not with you in it.

Okay, relax. Jesus, look, I get it. When Dan and Shane left, you were the same way. I was not! You just emotionally collapsed in a Wendy's parking lot and tried to fight a trash can. Yeah, that sounds like me. Point is, it sucked. You got over it and hey, you made new friends sounds like me. Point is, it sucked.

You got over it and hey, you made new friends, like Bobby, and you still have Jay. I don't want new friends. I hate people. And Jay is slowly transitioning into a middle-aged lesbian. I like Bobby, but Bobby is not Dan. You're one of the only people I don't want to throw punch on sight. Aw, that's nicest thing you've ever said to me. Don't make this sentimental, man. I'm just saying, maybe there's more to this, like, maybe you have feelings.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Strong feelings. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Maybe, just maybe. You might like guys. No, I don't. Hey, no judgment. It's 2025, man. You can cry over your boy leaving and still be straight. Or at least bi-curious. I'm not bi-curious, I'm just... Friends sad. There's a difference. Okay, okay, friends sad. Got it.

I just don't want you to go. Who's gonna make fun of my outfits or finish my fries when I pretend I'm on a diet? You mean when you say you're on a diet with a cheeseburger in your mouth? Yes, that's our thing. We'll still talk man. Call. Text. FaceTime. I don't want digital Tim, I want real life Tim. I want Wednesday night wingman Tim.

I want accidentally brought the same shoes Tim. You're literally crying like a five year old whose balloon floated away. I miss you and you're not even gone yet. Okay, now I kind of believe you're straight. This is way too dramatic to be romantic. I'm straight Tim. I just have a lot of feelings and I don't know what to do with them. Dude, I love you too. Don't say that unless you mean it.

I mean it man. Can I have a juice box? What? I don't know, it just feels like a juice box moment. I'll get you a juice box buddy. Tim acts as if to find a juice box, Jacob curls up on the couch like a heartbroken toddler. I'm not gay, I'm just emotionally attached to a guy who smells like cedar wood and always carries gum. Totally straight. He's looking fly. He's feeling high.

And here's why. Jacob loves guys. I sure do. On next week's episode, Bobby and Jay tell the world Jacob's secret. That Jacob likes guys. I love them. Thursday night at 8 only on NBC.

That was great Bobby.