The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Queen of Proms (feat. Katie Hannigan)

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

Katie Hannigan joins The Bonfire for conversation about awkward proms!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@KatieHannigan www.KatieHannigan.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Welcome back to the Bonfire Series XM Facts Talk 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Ocarson. Our guest has a new album out right now that you can go download called a Feeling of Emptiness. You can also hear on the podcast Lady Journey with Sarah Talimash. Please welcome Katie Hanigan. Hi. Hey Katie. Thank you. First time on the show, yes.

And also my first time being able to confront the bitch for stealing my man. Mike Vekkyo, we had a 10 year thing going on in Queens. Katie shows up. Other Katie shows up all of a sudden the 2,5,5,5 boys are done. Oh, I know. So sorry. You broke up the 2,5,5,5 boys. I asked Mike. I said, did he miss it?

He said, Katie, I'm 50. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. But don't worry. They still move two blocks from each other's to make sure it's OK.

It can't be separated. It can't be separated. It's because they both't worry they still move two blocks from each other's to make sure it's okay Separate because they both just sit in their window sales at night and they go what do you do over there? Is it windy over there? It's not that windy over there. What time is it there? There's two blocks away. Who's the president where you're at? Katie's album a feeling of emptiness you can download it everywhere Katie and I were in Raleigh had a great time hung out That was a fun time working fun weekend to shows We were talking about prom before the break. Oh God. I love it. I'm from you're from Indiana Yeah, did you go to did you have a junior and senior prom? I had a junior and senior But I also went sophomore freshman baby

Dan Katie hit the cycle dude. It's with all four every year you went how old was the guy you went with freshman year 18 How over here? I was 14 I think I didn't even turn that's an Indiana bride That's what they call the next time the age of consent is eight she goes. Oh Katie. That's a field bride Well part of it the any from Indianapolis. Yeah, I'm just a fort Wayne odd place. Yeah, I don't know what that well I had place the Fun fact the highest population of Burmese people outside of Burma. I believe it. Mm-hmm. I believe it Burmese interesting the people from the second last ramp of movie

That's why you had Burmese when you were in that is why okay, it all Okay, it all is clicking. It's all clicking. When you went to freshman year, was it your boyfriend? It was kind of a boyfriend, but it was like a thing where we ended up breaking up very shortly after because I didn't want to give him a blowjob. Really? So I was nervous of AIDS. Are you really? That was your fear? Yeah.

Dude, you can get it from blowjob. Yeah, get it. That's why if you don I'm gonna get age. You just gotta suck their assholes. Yeah, you're sparing up. The Lord's way, that's it. Yeah, that's not where AIDS comes from. You can't get it from analingus.

Analingum, rim jobbing. So freshman year you go to prom, he's a senior. Yeah. And then you guys don't hook up and then he breaks up and then software you're hooking up. But wait a second, I was gonna say, do you feel all four years, at least in the guys, but have sex was expected.

And you had to figure out a finagle your way out or be okay with it. Was it like a sex escape room? I was in every girl. I that's why I always found that's a interrupt the answer. But that's what I always found interesting about doing the prom shows, the comedy prom shows. Yeah. I did a few of those. I did a zillion of those and it was definitely, you could see the audience. It's the guys are usually the ones that are drunk, problematic drunk or, uh, yeah,

or just the shittiest like heckling audience members because they were thinking they were going to get laid possibly on this night. They couldn't believe when they asked this girl and then she goes, grad, the me and the girls parents are all paying for us to go to Caroline to 2AM. You're just battling sexual frustration. Exactly what it is. By the way, I used to do okay because I would play to that thing that was happening. I'm like, I know guys, you picked the wrong girls, I guess.

Turn it on them. I mean, good for you girls. Oh, the girls. But I mean, dude, this was not, you wanted to, at the end of end of this night you didn't picture like oh, and then I'll watch some fat Idiot yell shit at me on stage and also the girls love the shows because they're all I love them They love me. Yeah, ladies Virgin me who's gonna say that way tonight But they were the girls were always like there's this part of their party still they're out there enjoying the comedy show

And the guys were always just like the most drunk like, and I know what you think. It's they probably pay the comedians pretty good money to do that, not at all. They do 10 to $20. Oh yeah, really also. Yeah, also even the ones that that were fucking their dates. So they were like too cool for school too.

They were almost like, we're here at this kids thing, I guess, because her parents don't know that I'm plowner on the red. So he didn't really care, but he was also the guy. It's like, you don't ask me questions, dude. I don't really want to talk to you. Shut up. We're trying to be, we're trying to be a smart ass back like that kind of shit. Oh, oh, I hate that. Mill energy. Ruins comedy shows. Yeah. Well, then what's funny is it flips an adulthood and then drunk women ruin most Do they pass the baton I used to do ballet

Where's that shift 30? Yeah, oh, yeah, I think it's when your dreams die You know, I'm not gonna have a career as a singer. Yeah, let me fucking bother this woman. Donnell Rawlings They have a video of him to a comedy club. There's a comedy club meltdown, which seems a bit dramatic for what it is, but he's arguing with some lady in the audience and I don't know who's right or wrong

or where it goes haywire, so I can't say she's wrong. It's just like when you hear the voice in the audience, it's just you can already tell everything about it just from her going. He's like, who are you, bitch? And she's like, I'm a person who paid money to sit here and be entered. It's like that kind of shit. You're coming. You're like, oh, even if Danielle's wrong and engaging this, like this chick does suck. People get like attitude like they want to be treated like royalty when they go out. You know,

I remember I used to work at Applebee's and it was like everyone just thought they were the queen. out. You know, I remember I used to work at Applebees and it was like everyone just thought they were the queen. That will be the same. Come to the table for Ford for her majesty. Yeah, yeah. And make that much like a little strong, huh? Oh, man. I don't make them.

I'm the cedar and I'm working alone. I'm a hostess and I'm double sitting every waiter that I don't like. Oh, getting called a hun. Oh, I used to get called Big Guy. Oh, champ. Bye, guys. In boss. Yeah. By the guys. Yeah. and called Hun. I used to get called Big Guy in Champ. Bye guys. In Boss, yeah.

By the guys. Yeah, that's the worst. What's up chief? Let me get to Patron Margaritas. Hey guy, I was supposed to be like, oh my god. What's the most insulting, you may have already told us, I don't know, what's the most insulting

getting your attention like name. How's in the thick of it, no wait. Waiters not bad, but I mean, it's not great. When the housing market collapsed, it was all year like rich Europeans coming over. This guy hit me with the boy. Oh, boy. And I went, what?

And I went, boy, come here. And I was like, what the fuck, what's up? And he's like, boy, what the, no gas. And I was like, oh, you're fucking I know it's like I got your fucking European. Wow Yeah, Carson though if you need to be from this country, you know the call somebody boy I don't know. It was fucking wild. I never got that. I never got little girl Was a girl you must get like the princess sweetheart Yeah, you excuse me beautiful. Oh, yeah, I kind of like it. Well hello

Don't lie if I do I think that can go either way. I think there's some people don't mind the kind of yeah I think it's kind of charming. It depends on the guy I guess if he's like a creeper Well, it's also the kind of thing. It's like a like sweetheart What do we you know, so you can tell when the guys being a dick versus like? I'm sorry. I'm trying'm just trying to be priceless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not pardon me, princess. We're gonna go, princess.

We're going a dog. Princess here, princess. Princess. I mean, compared to like, I've had a guy come up to me, come up to my ear and be like, shh. Yeah. I love a princess over that.

Or you feel like a phantom hand grabbing your ass. You're like, oh, damn it. Damn, you know, like somebody, you feel like a phantom hand grabbing your ass. You're like, fuck. Oh, damn it. Oh, yeah. Damn, you waitresses, take it, man. Because as a waiter, you can, you know, you're a man. Yeah. They're assuming you're fucking probably

good physically violent. A woman, they're like, a lot of, how many times did someone touch the small of your back? Oh, it happens all the time. I used to watch it happen at dose. I would just watch a guy walk up and be like, Hey, would that bill? And then you just see the fucking yeah, a guy walk up and be like, hey, what that bill? And then you just see the fucking yarn come out

and be like on their small back to guide you. Murray Hill personality type. At this point, my new hand thing, people don't feel happening, but I'm almost I'm full fist or lobster claws behind the back. I'm just like, I don't know. I just don't know who to touch or put my hand. Yeah, they were where. Just excuse me. Something's wrong. Clothes behind their back. I'm just like I don't know I just don't know who to touch or put my hand over where Just excuse me. Something's wrong. No, no, it's something to do with my hands

I'm if not I'm doing this behind everybody which is just as weird, so I just kind of like do things my hands like Like a finger just out penetrating traiting. I like to give them the Jimmy Snooka. Just all the way here, all the way on the side. Hands up here. When you went, so you go freshman sophomore year to prom. It's crazy to go all four years.

Did you know it was crazy to go all four? Indiana Home Run. Yeah. Were you like suck at you ugly bitches? Yeah. You're going four years in a row. It was like, of course I'm going to prom. I'm a freshman.

Did you ever reuse a dress? Were you like freshman year? Oh, my mom made all of my dresses. My mom made every single prom dress. That's the most Indiana thing. Yep, so you're like pretty in pink. Yeah, she really did. She did. Was that like hype up to the prom for like a month? She's like in the living room sewing watching Carries mom. So We have a lot of similarities A lot of lambs blood a lot of screaming. Yeah, a lot of lambs blood, a lot of screaming.

When you killed your mother with mines, scissors. But you still have your dresses. I do. I remember I tried the mom like a couple of years ago and I was just in a bottle of wine. Yeah, yeah. You have your breakup. Watching bridesmaids. That's scary.

This is my piece. I still got it. I still fucking got it. No, I couldn't fit in them though. I was like a sad. Oh, man Oh, man, that's gotta be a thing where you're like fuck you life Oh, I couldn't fit your problem. What you a tadpole and in place? You're tiny small I was a little smart look at black glue dude. It's black glue prom look at zoot suit ride. Oh Hi look at ZootZoot right. Oh damn. Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. Oh, he says, you can't call it right.

By the way, put these next to each other. Absolutely, Black Lou, when he was younger, dressed and looked like the guy who they think killed Tupac or Biggie. Did you shoot Biggie in fucking the Los Angeles? Like the cop. Yeah. You like the cop who, the sketch of the guy that shot Biggie's LA. Damn, I didn't know Black Lou killed Biggie or Tupac, I can't remember which one. It was Biggie. He was involved or LA. They might have no black Luke killed Biggie

or two pocket care, remember which one? It was Biggie. It was about the both. It might have been. Did you, so junior year, did you go with the same guy or was it four different dudes? It was four different dudes, but by the time I started junior year I was smoking pot.

So I went with a group of friends, I was cool. So we went, we were all stoned out of our minds and just laying down. I put my head out the window because I thought I smelled like pot and I just showed up with my hair. It was like a mess. It was falling over my nose. Your date had to be a senior though, right? It was always a senior. No, my date was, I think not for junior. I think like, yeah, we had upper class, but if you were a junior senior, you got to go to prom. Yeah, that's what we did. You put a proms, what? There's a junior prom and a senior prom. Everyone was mixed.

It was everyone together, but you could, you know, yeah, on the, right? There's a junior prom in the scene. Everyone was mixed. It was everyone together, but you could, you had a hard time. No, no, no, no, ours, but I remember there was one. I don't remember what- I don't think it's- It's always under the sea. That's all I'm talking about. That's probably too cool for that. I was probably like, sorry, I'm on drugs. Yeah, I'm doing hardcore.

I'm doing Class 1 narcotics. I'm on Potter, whatever. Yes, you. You went with a junior, was your date? No, actually, it was my friend who was a senior, and I think we just went as friends that year. That's gotta be established. You're I think we just went as friends that year. Like, that's gotta be established. You're like, we're going as friends.

He tried to dance with me, and I was like, no, and then he died. He died like a few years later, so I always regretted it. I'm like, I should've just let, I should've loved him. Is that why, is that why when you like, it was because of that, it was because of me, the dance of them. That was the exercise he needed.

That would've been the time that stopped him from his untimely death. He was like, you want to dance? He was like, no, he goes, maybe I'll try heroin right now. Maybe I'll go see if I can lay down in the middle of the street. And cars can drive over me. You know what? I'm happy she said that. I'm going to start taking to risky base jumping.

I'm going to get into chicken. I'm going to get the chicken with trucks that are coming. What do you die from? Like mental. Motorcycle accident. Motorcycle accident. He did. I was very metal. It's very Indiana. I'm gonna get the chicken with trucks that are coming from like mental motorcycle accidents. Motorcycle accidents. He did. I was very metal.

It's pretty Indiana. What a fucking 1950s type of tall piece song. I know three people that have died of motorcycle accidents all from Indianapolis. I don't know three people in history not even in my life that have died of motorcycle accidents. Also, were you hanging out with the Mayans? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, growing up the daughter of a warlock. So, shit comes downhill. hell's angels show up. And let's just say they're indie chapter, not a night. And not careful. I'm not careful. The sons of Hanigan. So yeah, now the ghost shows up every night in his prom.

It is sexy. Dance with me. Now Vecchio has the dragon. Yeah, Vecchio has the dragon race in 1950s guy. Vecchio's like, he goes, keeps coming back. I gotta keep my cardio up to wrestle with these ghosts. But he's so sweet though, he'd be like, go for it. Yeah, he's like, dance with him.

Guys, come back. I told Mike I had a guy who was texting me during the pandemic. Some guy I went on dates with and I told Mike the whole story. Mike's like, eh, give him a break. I'm like, what do you want me to do? He's so like, understanding. He's like, he seems like a nice guy. He's asking for non-tasteful news. And Mike's like, we're all locked inside. Help him. You want me to send you back the ones you sent me? Playboy level. Nothing crazy.

No split and lip. Just like, you know, tasteful dead-ons. Dude, my favorite. I was trying to tell someone this story of we before the pandemic when Katie and I started dating and Katie came over to my house to watch TV and we started we're on Netflix just like going on. Oh my god. Is it the cheerleading thing? Oh my god This is so funny. You have to tell the story Katie Hannon got the worst impression of Katie. I really did I thought she was I was like, oh my god. She thought it was nuts. She's like, this girl's cancelable. So, it's like Netflix, and we're watching the show Cheer, which is like last chance you, but for cheerleading. And the town it takes place in, they literally have a fruit cake factory,

a factory that makes fruit cakes. It's the only job in the town. It's like one of the big industry things in this town, right? That's important back story. So it's about cheerleading, and obviously there's male cheerleaders. So we're at home, Vecchio and my Katie Nolan and I, and we're all watching this thing.

Katie's doing spots. Katie Hanna can show us up late after doing spots, and we're like mid-episode two, and we're like, oh, jump in. It's a show about, you know, we're like making fun of it, we're having fun watching it. And so we're watching it, like a couple of the male cheerleaders show up and they're like, son, and then Katie, Katie launches, goes, ah, all right, whatever, maybe they get jobs down with a fruit cake factory.

And Katie's like, what's that? I thought it was a homophobic. She's like, we're gonna old school homophobies Katie. She's like, what are these guys working down at the fruit cake factory? And then we're watching, I'm watching like trepidation between the two Katie's. And I'm like, wait, did you know that two K.D.'s and I'm like wait

Did you know that there was a fruitcake factory? I know meanwhile I was like I witnessed a hate crime from Dan Stephanie still Yeah, they're double on time for there, but that was the double it was the double But you would say she's at it just nowhere. She thought she was being like what is this a queer fucking factor? Yeah, that is weird out of the case. So it's funny watching Katie be like, what the fuck's up with this chick? It's like somebody dropping an N-bomb joke with the cooking and eating them, you go. It was funny, but we have to know each other.

I have to make sure you're not doing this like, right, with elbows in my ribs, but seriously though, right? I'm like, no, no, no, not that. Just watching Katie be like, I guess they could go to the fruit cake factory. If that's a thing. And then I'm like, and then I pause it.

I was like, oh, you don't realize what had happened. We explained it to her. She's like, because they never brought it up again. It was just an episode one, and then they keep going. Do you think that you think when the people go are driving on their jobs in the morning to the job of the fruit cake factory, that they drive by the cheerleading practice,

and they go, they say, our place is a fruit cake factory. It looks like they opened up a satellite for you. Yeah, I remember I was a competition in town for fruit cakes. Yeah, you have to be like a certain type of person to be using fruit cake like liberally like that. Yeah, expect what's up fruit cake? Because it is an old school kind of homophobic. It's very old here.

Yeah, it's like, it's like fruit cake. It's Chepa and fruity. Yeah, it is funny how they do hit your ears. So they're like, Sissy, I've always found to be like an aggressive one. It's far more than faggot. I've always heard that word more in context of like, not a hate crime, but like,

buddies talking shit to each other, do you know what I mean? Yeah. But like someone's like a sissy, it goes like, it's a sissy. It's always been like in an anger. Yeah. It's like, Yeah, let's do this Sissy coming at me like yeah, but women are strong women's month She looks to Christine

Christianity Christine's them day. Yeah, sorry Christine. You didn't hit an Indian home run They've been for problems and then you can celebrate women's history month any problem Did you hook up after any of the problems? After my senior one I did, but my boyfriend and we had been together for like a year and a half at that point. Oh, so it's old half. Yeah, I was a slut. That's just real.

Which I think my problem was like my second or third time having sex with that girl. Jay took a 22 year old. Oh, wow. You got molested. You got a school sanctioned molestation. And I'd like to say I was pretty, I was a pretty young 17. I was a fresh 17. I didn't know what was going on. She was putting her old tapioca putting on my dong and I was like, this is we. So she went just to get it, there's like the

pudding, right? And then you flip it upside down. Yeah, she even had it in my dick with it and then she popped it on popped it on you had to be very hard to pop through that top No, no, no, no, she didn't make me bust through it. No, she hope she took this Luminum foil of the edge not a monster She wanted me to punch like a Capri Sun with my dick How fucking rock heart? Yeah, 17 hard. That's a crazy food to get involved in sex. It's like a grandmother dessert. I said those little, those little very clear, not seeable balls of tapioca.

That's what they're called. We're in my, we're in my pubes for, for, for, for days. So you look like you had fucking like a flashy pubes. Do you wish it was chocolate? Yes. I could have it was chocolate? Yes. I could have seen it better. Yeah. Also her loving the flavor of tapioca would be like.

But it was so nice. So she slammed it on there and started like, you know, like, licking some of it off, which was a... I remember making my weener do like bouncy things, which now is like sort of flicking tapioca. Get the rage in yours. Yeah. It's making worse.

And then very quickly she's realized she goes, oh, it's like two, my body was too warm and summer, you know, but it's just like melting. It's like melting quickly in the room. It's like tapioca. Right. So it's running in through my dick hair and my ball. And she was like even like, oh, it's like melting.

I really, really can't do anything with this. Like, yeah, take a shower. And I had to go get in the shower and hair and my ball. And she was like, even like, oh, it's like melting, I really really can't do anything with this. Like, yeah, take a shower. And I had to go get in the shower and like rinse it out. Oh, I was picturing you did that in the cafeteria. Yeah, I'm a dutch during the brown. Do me, do me right here. We snuck off. It's pizza today, everyone's distracted.

And again, I was just out of the mix of cool kids enough to I couldn't tell you if anybody fucked that prom. I don't know. I would have said that nobody was, when I started fucking at 17, I guess it was, I was like, I was rolled in the school with like, guys, if you have any questions, I'll be here all day, I did it.

It probably, and they were like, I think a lot of them were kind of like, yeah, we don't fuck these kids like, I fucked so and so and so and so and so and so I'm like, that's happening here Good boys and girls. Wait, wait, wait, I thought you guys were lip kissing. Did you guys get tapioca on your balls? Yeah, I was you wash your tapioca I was a good boy. Yeah, so you're like wait, but everyone else was supposed to be good boys and girls. I was so upset when and by the way That was the funny thing when we Made our move arch

Neighborhood was broken up by it was up the hill and down the hill Mike actually knows this vacuum She used to go to the Italian American club that was on the divide He used like to go and play a little P-knuckle with his old Italian buddies. That is. Does that make you fall? Yeah, it's fall love more than those. Oh, it's the best. So I lived in this down in one time.

All the down the hill kids were like that. I mean, that's like tough, but they were just like the kids that ran around the street, seemed like their parents didn't give as much of a shit. Yeah. The latch didn't have any response. But I was a latch key kid, but I had responsibility a lot too. But I was like, we wanted to be this what we gathered up a bunch of kids from up the hill.

And we're like, let's just go hang out down the hill. Just walk around and do what they do, except none of us smoke or anything. And drink was go longer. And then we walked around and they saw, there's no thing, no shit talking going on. They just saws and started like shit talking while we were there and it's that point that I realize I go hmm this is a bunch of other good boys I've got it. We just all good boys and then they started following us

they had older kids with them they had the kids that were not in high school even anymore like adult beards and Mustang 5.0s. And they were just like following us. And I was so terrified. And that's what I said. I've told you yesterday where I called everybody back because I was the slow one. They were all getting away. And then the people chasing us were getting closer to me

than I was to my friends. And I was like, and they were like, they were doing this, but I can hear them saying, like, yo man, we just want to talk, but they're not, they're fucking with us. But I was like, oh, okay, yeah, guys! They just want to talk! Come back!

And they couldn't leave me. They couldn't leave me outside. And they couldn't leave me behind because they're all good boys. They couldn't tell my mom that they left me behind. They're all good boys, and they love Miss Terry. Damn, dude. You were the soosh. Thank you, Miss Soosh.

No, we weren't picking on them. They were picking on you. They were the soashes. They were the greasers. Oh my God. Dude, the thought of you just being like, oh man, you guys aren't good at all. You guys are bad.

I mean, just names. Just names were all like, oh no. They're gonna beat up me and Mike Meshanka. Yeah. Mike's a sweet boy. Who's name I couldn't spell if you gave me 5500 tries today. Yeah, Meshanka.

It, I'm telling you, it doesn't it's not spelled like Meshanka either There's a lot of wise and stuff in there that multiple Like Christine and young Hutchinson Christine name and yay Dude, yeah data Indiana. I mean you were dating motorcycle boys. You're dating the bad boys. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, well, especially after I started smoking pot and I went over to the bad side of town. Was that where you started hanging out with the bad kids? Yeah, but you know, I remember I would go to like these

parties, I was like, oh my God, I'm like really cool. I was just like in someone's trailer with like nine people just like passing a blunt around. So you can wear a helmet like a pussy. Yeah. She's like, I like danger. I love it. I'm 16 year old Katie Hamm again.

I live for danger. I'm cool. Did your parents have a problem with like, I like danger. I love it. I'm 16 year old Katie Hanigan. I live for danger. I'm cool. Did your parents have a problem with like, you know? My parents were busy. My parents were fucking trying to hold it together. Really? So they're just like, here's your dress. We made this.

Get out of here. My mom was making the dress at nights. And then, you know, she did make the dresses. It was great. But she also, my mom was like working nights at the emergency room. So my parents were not around the Do you have siblings? I have one brother younger you younger. Yeah, and were you babysitter? Yeah, it's something I mean you had a very similar my parents both my mom step up

My mom finished up college when she was 30 Or you know she went back and my stepfather started a little bit after my brother was born And because they were both just like working regular jobs and they're like I guess we got to do something They became restriatory therapists working in like, oh wow. Emergency rooms and they stood like 12 hours shifts. I was just, I said a lot of response, but so I was a good boy because it was just like, you had a lot of responsibility. And my friends were the kids who were like willing to be like, well, I don't go hang out and drink and smoke. I'll play video games and hang out with you and your baby brother.

Oh my god. I was a bad girl. I was doing that, but I was also being bad. You're like, I'm babysitting, but then I go, hardly ride, hot smoking. Bye. So what we're doing, we're definitely trying to get our dick sucked and do all this stuff, but like, you're all teenagers.

Yeah, the bad kids, it was like eighth grade. All of a sudden, my friends were like, yeah, we smoke weed and we finger girls. And I was like, whoa. Whoa, seventh and eighth grade. I was like, that's, we're 12. Yeah. You was like, whoa. Whoa. 17th and eighth grade. I was like, that's, we're 12. Yeah. You're like, you're making a team inside of them.

I mean, I was smoking. Yeah. Well, yellow fingers can do. That's the good boy take. We guys having a good boy take. Don't put fingers inside of me. I remember you washed your hand. Before girls, it was all about cigarettes.

There was like the summer of, in between 17th and eighth grade, it was like more important, like, getting cigarettes than it was. Sigarettes were cool in the 90s. I remember I had little candy ones and I pretend to smoke they made my real. I was like, oh. Did they have the ones, the gum ones, it would blow the powdered smoke? Those were awesome. Those were ruled. Yeah. And then I just started liking real cigarettes. And I was like, these are cool. I come full circle. I'm back to liking cigarettes more than girls

ago. I'm right back there. I just go. I go outside and smoke and I go. You don't ever complain about anything. You're always here. You don't tell me I'm acting weird. Yeah. You don't have to be what's wrong. You sit and watch every six years game with me. Sweet sweet cigarette. Sweet sweet beautiful cigarette. Yeah, man. It's I mean, the fact that you have all homemade dresses is awesome. That's like a fun throwback thing. They're pretty cool.

I think actually one year, my senior year, I think I did actually buy mine. I bought it from a thrift store. How did you break your mom's heart? I think she just didn't have time that year. Now that I'm, now that I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, my mom made a lot of my clothes growing up. My mom would make me wear like these weird little house on the prairie like bonnets and stuff that she would make. Because she likes fashion. That's her hobby. Yeah.

She likes fashion of the 1700s. She goes, I stick with the Mayflower era. Those are my prom dresses. She goes, I like settling the West. Nothing later than nothing. I don't want to do anything later than that. Should we take a break? Yeah, we got to take a break. We're going to come back for a little more time. A few minutes few minutes. We have a few minutes to hang out Katie Hanigan's album is out now, right? It's out now go stream it go download it a feeling of emptiness. She's hilarious You can also check out her podcast with Sarah Tala Mosh lady journey of variable or wherever you listen to podcasts

Good lineup. Yeah, hello Sarah Sarah and Katie. Both hilarious. So go check out their podcast, Lady Journey. And we'll be right back on the burn fire. Tata. Just for them. Oh man. Times are different, huh? Hear that line?

Right here. He brought the, uh, he cut the headphones. Yeah. Hard F-bomb. Oh really? Yeah. Was that late 90s when this come out? Yeah. He brought the cut the headphones. Yeah, hard F bomb.

Oh, really? Yeah. Was that late 90s when this come out? Oh, yeah. I mean mid 90s, probably more. 98, 99. Welcome back to the Modfire. So you're a six-in-factor top one of the three.

I'm dead. So that's Big Joe Gerson, our guest Katie Hanigan, who has a new album out, downloadable everywhere. You could also listen also listen to her podcast. There it is. A feeling of emptiness out now. Go download it. Let's do it. She's hilarious. And then check out her podcast. Sarah Tom, wash lady journey. Um, growing up in Indiana, you're a big basketball fan? No, no, I never, I never really, did they push it on you? Like, skiing was pushed on us in Colorado. No, it wasn't I was just had no exposure to it at all Really? Oh, don't you like basketball? I'm like I don't I actually don't even know how it's played

I know you're supposed to go like throw it in the hoop. There you go. Do you know that but that's your advice for tonight's game Throw it in the hoop throw it in the hoop has Mike made you a Eagles fan yet. Yes. I love the birds I love the birds. I love I birds. I love, I love football. I know football and I know about it. Yeah. All about it and I love the purple team. That's my favorite. Vikings?

Sure. Ravens? Purple. I said purple. I like all purple teams. I like purple. And I like purple. I like purple teams. I like purple. Go bird. Oh really, I get to those go birds. That's really encourage. I know I thought Mike liked animals at first. It's so sensitive. Oh my god, he's in the birds. It's so cute. How about butterflies? Yeah. Yeah, you should at least be familiar with the thing. It's going to ruin a lot of your Sundays. Yeah. Sometimes your Mondays.

I watched, I watched the whole Super Bowl this year. I was in it and I paid attention the entire time and I enjoyed it. Yeah. Not a good time. Was it good? Super Bowl was super bowl was the bangles. Ransd bangles right? Bungles ramps should have been like the whole 49ers.

It seemed like the halftime show, but mostly the wearing sports. They just confuse her with with keys I just jingle keys What's this what's going on over here and the she jingles keys for the dog a delicious like yeah going to the games a lot Going to next xxers games going to basketball games and love going to the games and going to football games like I love the energy of like the live event Yes, I do like that. I like to drink get drunk, you know, and then it's just exciting. You don't know what's happening. Yeah, I like to get Mike into a fight. I like a really ruined his time. Turned into an ice scrap. I just just fucking scratch the ladies eyeballs out. She just doesn't even know it's coming. Yeah. Drinking at sports

games is very fun. It is something I miss about drinking. It was very fun to get a couple in. I never quite got it. I have to get a couple in you. I never quite got it We have to pee a lot. That's only part of the sucks. I always want to drink baseball games That's the best you're outside That makes best on to drink it. Oh, that's that's the sport out. It's warm summer to get a cold beer Yeah, that would make sense to me about on good baseball games at all, but I've never fully got getting like when we went to the Eagles Home opener this year. Yeah.

Like Tom, hooked up from Tom from a gas digital and Tom, like, whole family goes. And like by the middle of the game, like, we were supposed to meet up at half time, smoke cigarette and kind of catch up on the thing. We didn't, and was like, oh, you have to the game. And then he even said by third quarter, he's like, I don't know where we were standing or sitting anymore. Like, he was just lost. He's like,'s like I don't know where we were standing or sitting anymore like He was just lost he's again. I don't know we left. I got home somehow. I'm like what? That is all that happened. I've only been black out. I don't know. I mean

I've been drunk. I've been drunk at a lot of stuff the most blackout I've ever been was a baseball game Wow, it's Kurs field has a lot of bars around it and we were it was right in the bar in like the center field thing Is that like that's in Boston you can it's ble the bar in like the center field thing? Is that like a, that's in Boston. You can, it's a bleacher bar. There's no, there's something like that in a, in my, at mile high. I mean, in Denver. Yeah.

Coorsfield. I don't know. I don't know. I think there's like the core something's like, right in the, they have a lot of bars around there. They have a lot of, they're sticking the outside of one of the home run areas. It's just like a fucking bar. He's like a bunch of people sitting like, at tables like, like high top. Oh yeah, there's a lot of fucking the outside one of the home run areas. It's just like a fucking bar He's like a bunch of people sitting like at tables like like high top. Oh, yeah

There's a lot a lot of major league stadiums are like that where they have beer like bars in the outfield or like Beer places and stuff But I do it was right after Montreal in 2011 and I went from Montreal to Denver for a friend's wedding And it was like one of the get-togethers was going to a Rocky's Cubs game. And I got black out at a bar. Wow. Didn't even watch a pitch of baseball. Went to Coursfield and just drank somewhere at the, don't remember it at all.

No. Both of them were like, hey, we went to a full baseball game. I was like, Jesus. Wow, usually you're black out at the wedding. I did that. I did that. I did that. I took a 40 milligram Adderall at the wedding.

And so I was brought back to his taxes. He was a wall of flips like Gene Kelly. I was fucking. I was like a Phoenix. I've been drinking for two weeks and I was like, I fell in my head to my toes. Anything goes. I'm singing in the rain. I, and then I had a speech that you made at the wedding. I was like, you don't fight everybody. I think everybody here is too big pussy. And well, no one will fight me. I had to break down the next day.

Oh, God, that stuff. I was hung over and the, I don't know where we're off and I was at my mom's house. And she lives on a busy street and I had to go get cigarettes on a hot day. Oh, oh, I gotta remember how my mouth is. You just wanted me to think of Lewis's speech. Was it Veter's wedding? The worst, the biggest bomb I've ever seen.

It was so funny. But is it all Gary Veter? Agulis is his best man for his wedding. And everyone was like, that's an odd pick. Didn't know you guys were that close. But everyone's there. We all show up for this wedding. And, uh, dude, the speech he followed from Gary's wife's cousin. It was like her cousin, like the best friends, and it was like, I'm watching you grow up to be such a beautiful and murdered. Ah, murdered. And then Lewis goes up there and he's like, wait, wait, you got to set up the situation here. and then Lewis goes out there and he's like, you gotta set up the situation here.

Lewis has only done public speaking in his life doing to stand up comedy. He's now, I perform, he's giving the speech in front of an audience that is, what, like 10% or less comedians? I would say 10% is perfectly. Like, my majority of it is her family, and then it's Vita's family,

who just like, his friends from college that we had never met. So they showed up and we had to smell each other's butts. Because all the groomsmen were like comics, and we're like, who's these guys? These are my best friends from when I was growing up. Wow, and they were like jealous that you guys got to. Probably.

But all I know is Lewis went up and made the whole speech a state of the industry Every week was because marriage is a lot like stand-up comedy All the analogies that you go out every night and you work at it and then eventually become better you know and then eventually you become better. You know, comics are like a trail. Like, comics are the only family we're God. It's like, you know, and then the difficult times come and you feel like God's giving you the red light, you know, I mean, you got to wrap it up.

But dude, I watched, because I was sitting at a table where Lewis was, we were to the side of Lewis. So I got a view of who was watching him. I could see the people's faces and you saw the people start with the smile of like Gary's friend. And you saw their family be like oh to like. Pardon me. Is this gonna look at the titties on this pic is my guardian. Hey so. Is it like their faces change like is this gonna.

Is this gonna be all about comedy it was only about comedy dude by like in it went on Sometimes in life you're gonna want you're gonna want to do something else and your wife's gonna want to do something else Like when Brian Scott McFadden bumps you on stage. Just stay up You go head west again. You go Wayne. Yeah, that's pretty bullshit You but you you know my time was 915 and now it's 930 and I'm not on yet and I have another spot. Are you gonna drop checks? Are you gonna drop checks?

Are you gonna spot? Anywho, such is life. So, love jokes, but dude, he got off. He got done and it was like Norman and List were sitting at the next table and List just gave one of those like We were at Lewis is at my table and he's like shut the fuck off list. It wasn't that bad It was a guy's was it that bad and everyone had to be like Do that was what was what bad dude? I wasn't the bathroom what happened what I talked did you give speech was like I bet I was good. Oh dude. It's always awkward when you see someone bomb and you have to be like

Your mother-in-law is like SD in this situation. She booked me, but the pitch says she didn't. Yeah, she booked me. She made the mistake, but she won't admit it. So now I gotta eat crow. Anywho, such as marriage, it was my favorite coming together of two worlds that didn't blend. Wow.

Oil and water. But Lewis was all he was thinking about was the 10 people he knew that we're going to the wedding. He thought about me and List Norman and touching their hearts and touching their hearts and minds. With an analogy. This is why I'm not having any comics at my wedding. You shouldn't.

No. Don't be invited. No. And I mean, I would hope to get invited, but I get if you don't. Well, you can come. Katie can tell me how it went. You guys can come. Yeah, Katie will come.

Thank you. Christine and Katie have to fill in Jay and I. Literally nobody invites us to their wedding. So you have to invite us to your wedding. Okay. Simme behind the gondola of the guy playing old Italian songs in the hand on a hand accordion. You guys can go by the best bread peppers.

Oh, just Simme by Mike's mom, so I can watch him kiss her hand a bunch. And go, mom, I'm like, Mom of the young. They're fixing mom, I'm gonna kiss you. Mom, I'm gonna make you own. They're fixing prosciutto or the top of the notch. They're not gonna meet the balls. You're doing it with the butt push the screws. It's like, why are you talking like that?

You've been in my house before. Yeah, I'm like, mom, I'm gonna make you own. I don't need to spend your day, you're a boys and a match. Hey, baby, bye. Yeah. It's gonna be a great day. Yeah, that'll be a lot of fun. But I totally get not wanting to have comics at your wedding.

That's why people do destination weddings. I'm like, oh, I get it. Like, South Africa, hope you can make it. Sorry. But there's only 26 hours. Do you even care about it? My buddy literally called me and was like, I'm getting married in August.

It might be in Central America. I was like, what is this a drop? Is this a heroin drop? Are we fucking shipping people? Well, you know, Vanessa's been mulling through the cure quarantine because, you know, the same for the wedding. She has a huge pussy and no job.

So we've been able to get her back and forth across the board. There's a suspect diamond mind in Uruguay. And she's been smuggling diamonds up through Central America. We have a lovely pavilion in her. Hey, hey, you know, would you do, would you do stand up at your own wedding? Oh God no What kind of person do you think I am? It just be funny if you're like and now five minutes on marriage and now I like to subject everyone to myself I've never done a wedding with someone at least a rap to show like a minute

Have you ever been to a wedding where somebody? Does a choreographed dance? Yes, I've been to two. I've been to two. I've been to multiple weddings. That's what happens. He's been to two. He's been to two. And by the way, I'm talking about, you know what, you could probably bring up the scene.

You ever see the wedding scene in a, you used to start with our old song. Was that Jake Jo and Hal Cop movie? Or it's a real gritty end of watch? Yeah. And they do like a thing where they like, they like, like, work out some like crazy dance they do together.

If you could find that, see, it's so annoying. It's a thing. Paulie Z from Z rock was what married for 10 days this girl 10 days 10 days is crazy That's probably less time than they rehearse the dance. Absolutely. It is it's nuts. Yeah, that's the scene for sure and a head trigger And we have a minute Lou Full minute. Well, but while we're getting the video make sure you go get feeling of emptiness Katie Hanigan's new album It's out now go low stream go listen to it download it and stream it Thank you. Yes, you're welcome. You know, oh Of course

Go see Dan this weekend man. You have to be like your go see Jay and Ontario, California. You really have to be like I this is because this is giving me uncomfortable feelings because I've been to this kind of a thing. Oh. No, it's not this. You'll see, record scratches. Oh, we've actually been working on a little something. Yes, I saw at my friends wedding,

it was very similar. Oh, no, exactly, it's a good song. To a song like push it on a lot of things. No, I hate this I know there's people that have done this that are listening that are like fuck we did that black look Yeah, it's like you're trying to convince your friends that it's almost almost black Lou Almost You said no eventually you put your foot down

Yeah my white friends wanted to do an in-sync dance And I told you to fuck off Ah, fuck you You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes, every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM! you