The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Slap Heard Round The World

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

Dan and Jay have an interesting take on the slap heard round the world!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. If anyone knows us, they always know the biggest episode of the year for Bond Fire. Oscars, Re-Ga-A. Post Oscars.

Post Oscars, what everyone was wearing. What was going down? Trash or smash. Trash, smash or dress. You guys want to do a fashion police? No, but I'll tell you who was a, no, good idea though. Her was so hot again last night. I saw her present the award. I mean the dress was stupid but she's just so cute. You have a real crush on her. I have a real crush on her. Yeah, because I think she's cute, but I'm not like blowing away. I'm a getter. Oh.

Jason. Yeah. I'm right here. Oh, I know I'm in a kidnapper. We'll keep her together. She should be ours. I'm gonna need your help. I'm going on weekdays.

Yeah, I'm gonna need a feeder. Yeah, you gotta get in there. Make sure she's not getting fed sores. Yeah, make sure you feed her. Kevin Costner speech we never finished, but it was very long and dramatic and it's yeah, it was on about nothing. And then the three directors, blah blah blah blah. If I knew I was the, but then the lady that called Sam Elliott a bitch, yeah, back like a bitch, one day award and was like, well, it was dramatic. You're such a bitch. Bitch. I said, you. Yeah, she's from New Zealand.

She probably gets it. She goes, that was dramatic. You know, just made a bitch bitch. I said you yeah, she's from New Zealand she probably gets it She goes that was dramatic. You know, just made a fucking movie. I don't know Hard to camera crew. It pretended to be cowboys for like a month and then we went back to our families That was pretty brave those straight guys all kissed each other. I was quite a cool I don't think you're here fake kissing the boy like that. See come a batch Come about just went for oh, I told him I said benefit. We don't think you're here fake kissing the boy like that. See come on batch. Come on. I just went for oh I told him I said Benedict. We don't need to show it. He said oh no, we're gonna show it He said I'm gonna bury it. I said do what you gonna do? I said get a gun. Felt you're gonna do four anal

You're gonna do you gonna do that? Um, I'm gonna consider like would he laugh right in the middle of that speech? If somebody in the front row just cracked a long loud fart. Yeah. Do you think he laughed for what he'd be like, how could you take the pet? I'm talking to you about the magic of film, and you fart, that's what I mean, like,

you cut the fuck up. And your butt lets air out? Real nice. There's gotta be dang it, sorry. Hey, sorry. I'm actually a seat filler Turns out I'm filling it twice. Sorry. I wrote a one. I wrote a joke for I did a punch up for Amy She'll let me sit in the front. I gave Amy a couple zings

Just told me I could get close to Penelope cruise. I do remember the I do remember the curtains and movies though I do remember that shout out 70 movie theater. They do that. I think that's like a fine. You know, I'm ripping Oh man. Oh, what did I have late night garlic? I'd mom spaghetti last night late night. I never had it. Also, I had sweet tart road bites. It's my favorite candy. I just been months. You know, sorry finish your stupid story about that Western anyways. Go ahead. It's been months you know, sorry finish your stupid story about that Western anyways go ahead Now anyway, what were you saying? Oh, man, I'm sorry wait. Hang on If you had the last one out. Oh, sorry, Elliot Ness

So obviously the main looks like my butts a field with screams tonight, am I right? Yeah! Obviously the main thing that we want to talk about is the slap herd round the world. Christine, you have the Japanese Delano Deep Bright Center. I want to apologize to Will Smith, it is family for jokes. I might have said that I've upset him. I am a good Christian man and I love fat. That's going to be Castelano Deep Delano. Well, while she brings it all up, get the Uncensored version to Christine. That's the one I sent. Yeah, when she brings it up. The Japanese version.

The one he sent on text. Yeah, that's the one you want. Let me just send that to him. That's where you hear him. Let me tell you where I feel for Chris Rock. Also, the Japanese audience, when before, yeah, before it comes up, why I feel for Chris Rock at all. And I'm sure he's a season enough veteran, you know, some people would argue one of the great comics, working, has to know that he is now going to be forever like what happened to me in the Sebastian Bach. Yeah, he's much smaller, much, much smaller scale.

Is that thing? It's like the metal sludge article and the thing that keeps going on and it goes and then Oakerson said like maybe he does a like he gargles. Giz rob howford to get himself ready for performing. And I was like, God, will you please bring this thing that I thought of six point six seconds before I said it? Yeah, I made a joke. I was thinking about it. And I thought it was going to be something that no one would ever remember.

Talk about it. I go, now is the thing where it's a, could he have said that? Could is that okay to say? Anyway, all these things, and I go, Chris Rock, same thing. A GI gene joke for a bald girl is such a dated. It's a shitty joke, not because it's offensive or crappy. It's just like a line that he threw away. Couldn't think of anything better than GI Jane. Dude, you just pulled a memory that maybe I've brought up before on the, on the bonfire. But when I was in high school, we had a special needs kid, you know, we had a wing hell yeah, we had a wing of them. That's respectable. But this one kid would, he would say what you looked like. If you walk by, he go, a lot, he was in a wheel charity bike, had ghost busters. And you just like say stuff you walk by, you go, whole lot, he was in a wheelchair and he'd be like, hey, ghost busters!

And you just say stuff that most of the time didn't make sense. Jared put a stick in his wheels. Thought about it. You're going for a ride, bitch. He never got me, but dude, I had long hair, freshman year. Like, started, it was like down to my fucking jaw.

Hey, Jim Blossoms. I wish. So me, our friend Adam, and Mike McDaniel, the coach of the Miami Dolphins, go get our haircuts, short, because like short was in. So it was like, I'll cut my hair short. So I cut it short, we go to school the next day,

we walk in the door and that guy in the wheelchair to McDaniel goes, hi, GI Jane, one of the hardest I've ever laughed at my life. And that's what makes Daniels fucking crack them and his fucking goofball face. I'm writing his silly brain. And damn, what he did. I don't want to take advice from fools. I just want to bend his back with you till I hear it from you.

That was good, hardly. That's it. But dude, that was one of those laughs in high school. You're like, it got me. Hey, Jay, Jay. Hey, Jay, Jay, and he was like, he was mad about it. He was like, just walking the class, and he's like, oh, look like Jay, Jay.

The movie had just came out. What if they showed backstage when Chris Rock goes, Jay, Jay, too, looking forward to it. And they just show on the back the kid in the wheelchair is with a clipboard and a head. And he goes, and he goes, he goes. Got him, Chris. He goes, did G.I.J.2, looking forward to it. And then you show on the back the kid in the wheelchair is with a clipboard and a head on the goes, and he goes, he goes. Got him Chris. He goes, did it.

I knew it. I knew it. Or he goes, was big, goes, I knew it's gonna massacre it. God damn, you suck it right in for this guy. He's got no timing. Did I rock? You're supposed to set the premise up again. Yeah, you're supposed to say,

hey, love the haircut, Jada. I said what are you starring in? G.I.J.2? God, you starring in J-I-Jane 2? God, you just said J-I-Jane 2. It's like people get famous and forget how to tell jokes. I couldn't have gone over the rhythm of the joke with so much. That's where that kid went on the...

He's just at the store on the street, he goes, hi, Soda. See Christopher, come and use that as a song. You got to find the rhythm of it. I didn't get to find the rhythm. You, I gave you a song with a beautiful chorus This is the Japanese I was deep into my thirties that a gin blossom is an alcoholic nose. Yeah

It's a big red nose on an alcoholic I know I took my dad's getting it a gym plus but he doesn't drink that's weird yeah he's just getting it's fucking forming it's why I get all my blackheads I try to go at him a little bit I don't know I'm not gonna get that little bulb nose fuck that shit look at that yeah look at there it's like an every Irish uncle oh go third down from the bottom is Lou T. J. Lou Oh, man You're not gonna get one of those chewed up noses Lou. I hope to get off you go already blanked What's going on Christine? What are you looking at that's me? Oh?

That's the oh that's why Disney cartoon. Yeah, I Was what I call it? I just got an I cha cha cha cha. Channels Jim Blossom I would never say because if anybody ever goes nice Jim Blossom I'd go Oh man great genre music guy with tambourine rock. Yeah, that's why when in it whenever I've met anyone named Ezra I go it was god living what you oh it was good oh wow it was good oh you gotta be you gotta be a different kind of ugly lead singer to play tambourine to distract from your stupid not hot face damn huh Steven next place tambourine she's not ugly she because she needed to give her a reason to be in the group

She couldn't just stand there while everyone's playing music. She didn't play any instruments blowing a voice Blow up. She doesn't have any instrument everybody everybody else plays instrument in the band So she has to do something to tambourine makes sense the gym boss didn't need a tambourine someone else could done tambourine They're just like hey, dude. You either go go your hair longer or shorter But whatever it is It's this middle range that you have with fucking dad jackets. Like, you have to play a tambourine to make him a hair for something. The tambourine will be suppression fire till you either grow it out or find a shortcut.

But I need you to figure it out. Yeah, like, a handsome hair is whole career. Yeah. I don't wanna take. You've heard it from me now. You've just heard it from me, Jim Blossom. Fix your hair, stupid. It's dumb.

It was always dumb. Longer short, that middle thing was ridiculous looking. You look like Aunt Jackie from Roseanne. Yeah, when she went Lesbo. You started dating Sandra Bernhardt. Yeah, Jim Blossom please sing her as a fucking Aunt Jackie haircut. Yeah, I love this hair. You got season five ancheckier.

Yeah, you got fucking bass player third eye blind hair. I don't even know what he looks like, but I bet he's got that length of hair. Bet you're in the neighborhood. This is a stone gossip. So this did, oh, so when you watched, you had the Oscars DV art and we were texting and you were like, I'm going to go through it live. Did it show any of this? It showed all of it.

It cut, uh, it's slayer, it cut audio until he said the first word you hear him say, our, that was the best night of television in history, I think. And I got a little bit of a laugh. Uh, that's the first word you hear. Weirder than that. When Will Smith gives his acceptance speech, they keep going to look an ABC logo. Yeah, Voskars. That happened on ours. I saw that.

That's just not- And they cut to the William sisters and then it was like the Oscar logo thing again. And they're like back and- And it's like, what's he wagon is dick? And he's like spitting all over the microphone or something. Puh, puh, I spit on this. Because he got to spill the microphone over.

And they said he also apologized and that, I don't think he apologized. No, he apologized to- He can't. Other anom to spill the microphone. And they said he also apologized and I don't think he apologized to the other nominees, the Academy. I like the Academy came out. I was like, we don't condone violence. You know, like, be a lot cooler if you did. Somebody pointed out to me and you yesterday, I won't name names on whoever it was,

but someone pointed out it is pretty funky that he got chumped. He got, and we're gonna watch it. He got knocked, like, doofy. Like, he couldn't talk after it at it all he was so frazzled. It was weird watching someone of that Stature and comedy. Yeah be like as lost as I've ever seen a person lost on stage. He was absolutely lost. He's like Yeah, it was the best Well his first reaction and we'll watch it his first reaction. He's like, I could fucking let it go I don't feel that's the case at all. Watch, when you watch.

I think Chris Rock eats shit in this so bad, and probably for the best, Will Smith would fuck his world up, still due to him Philly. Yeah. And Chris Rock is everybody hates Chris. Yeah. That's his story of being young. He wasn't like a tough guy, I already think.

He's four million views. But I'm telling you that he, what you call Chris Chris rock handled this like a, if I were him, if I were him, I'd feel like a bitch. You, you think he goes extra hard and everyone's coming out on his behalf, people that know him because he feels, he must feel like a bitch. Because here's what one, you don't do something right away. I totally get it. I really do. I get

sitting there and be like, Will Smith just smack the shit. I mean, being in that moment, saying those words even and be like, what the fuck just happened? Fresh prints got a right seconds seconds later. Yeah, seconds later. He would have I would have like 30 seconds. Most, which is a lot, probably not even close to 30 seconds, 15 seconds later, I'd start making my way towards Will Smith and then figure it very least to be like, well, security's gonna have to get between us, but I'm gonna try to like, I'm gonna say something or do something or exactly or would have kept it all like threatening but all on microphone like funny. Yeah, Call him, I would have called her more bald shit. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely.

Fucking keep going, call him, I'll never, he bald shit. Yeah, do you know? I mean yeah, absolutely fucking keep going calling on Never he'll never get to you again number one and yeah, yeah, I'm just going after her and be like I mean that would be funny If you if you're gonna react funny be funny and make fun of them and kind of like flip it on it and how would you To pink it Smith Charlie villain away from how was yours hours. Yeah gonna be ball Charlie villain away, but how was ours? Yeah gonna be ball What tell you what next I'm gonna hit somebody. Why don't you have your bitch control the electricity and cut it off So no one sees it. I heard a powder but black powder But here I think Chris walk came off like a bitch Well, let's watch it. This is the Japanese version which again does have the added benefit of them goingこの動画は日本の動画で、また、私は、アディアでアディアに行くことができる。

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ドーブ ドーブ ドーブ ドーブ ドーブ ドーブ ドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブドーブ bドーブドーブ bドーブドーブ bドーブ bドーブ bドーブ b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b You're fucking name while I'll tell you why he's getting big too is because he went over there and slapped a guy in his fucking face on the biggest gathering on television

always and Chris Rock stood there with his hands behind his back still he has no instincts at all whatsoever Chris Rock. I mean Jesus pick up your left dude. You're gonna get killed out there. I just you wow Chris and then just and then by the way he goes after this he goes all right. I won't Wow, and then just and then by the way he goes after this he goes all right. I won't As I'm saying so go back saying about Chris Robbs seconds. I know afterwards He goes I could you but it's like You just what he should have though. He could have what yeah, you're right do anything because by the way If you're so

I could if his whole thing is like I could say some shit right now like say it. You know, it's funny He's got slapped in the face you plus that yeah, that's so funny of how many arguments I've had I'm like I just It's no I'm not gonna do anything and like I just Yeah, maybe if you smack your bald bitch like I should wouldn't be fucking your son's friends. Come on It's easy. It's that easy. I'm surprised you didn't make some sort of It was laying right out there. Maybe if you crack your wife like that,

well, so well, she know what's up. Yeah. I'll be around fucking around on you and telling everybody to come and hug you, get to call my wife, beater and call her a horde to say, fuck, it's just insane. Yeah. That he took that.

I mean, just to not have a thing and keep going back, he goes, you're gonna put your fucking hands on me, dude. Like what? And just start ripping all of them. And all the lame people that are like good for Will Smith don't let anyone talk about your family it's like shut the fuck up. Yeah you're gonna get into a fight here and get scared and go back to fucking Philly fucking piece of shit. Yeah I couldn't see get a Will Smith chumped the shit out of them and then just sat there and went back to

Winning laughing. I mean that was like laughing at other people's jokes and fun things again. He was right back in it It was so great and Chris rock is do you think there is of the nation right now? I mean by the way people sticking up for Chris rock and saying he did the right thing and it was mature and his Composion everything are wrong. Yeah, should have gone back should have given something back Do you think there's more here than we know? Like, do you think there's a history like? I think Chris Rock said the joke. I think I heard today that Chris Rock said the thing when he hosted years ago about when she said she was, I think Jada Pinkett was banned or boycotting the Oscars. Yeah, that's what it was.

The jokes about them. They had to get invited first before they can get boycotting. But okay, still it's a funny joke. So Will Smith is completely wrong in what he did. No doubt. Yeah. Alopecia gives a fuck. Shut up. Yeah. Dude, I'll tell you the time.

Even if she had to keep. Christine, please. I don't know. That's a weird thing to do. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I tell you the, my friend who used to be a photographer who had a lapecia complete body. Yeah. A lapecia no hair. But wore wigs all the time and put on makeup and she was just cute.

And I was just saying the funny thing. She had a pool. You remember the story I told you? I go, the funniest thing in the world, she brings up a date. She's a cute girl and then goes, you want to get in the pool and she has cannonballs in the pool and then you see on top of the water, like hair to band down and I think go what is it and then like some pod person from alienation pops Like Jason at the end of Friday the Hot chick dives in the water and then a ball there. Let's lady come on board. He's pulling out of the boat I'm working on my Chris Rock laugh at myselfお前の子がいないのか笑僕はクリス・ロックを使ってくれ 笑

え、これがプレイスによって あなたのコメントを使ってくれ あなたのコメントを使ってくれ クリス・ロックを使ってくれ 笑 あなたのコメントを使ってくれ あなたのコメントを使ってくれ あなたのコメントを使ってくれ

あなたのコメントを使ってくれ あなたのコメントを使ってくれ あなたのコメントを使ってくれあなたのコメントを使ってくれあなたのコメントを使ってくれあなたのコメントを使ってくれあなたのコメントを使ってくれちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、ちょっと待って、 Greatest night in the history of television. Did you see Joe Sikou no Bum in the show? Okay. So we are here. Crazy. Just go right back into the, like, cinematographers take us to different magical places. After you get smacked, you have to do some fucking,

you know what I mean? You have to do some high-falutin' thing where you're like, you're such a bitch. I love that. After you get slapped, you're like, costumes are just as important as the people that wear that You go from the end fucking handle Scouting locations are things that digital remastering is

Unheralded skills that a lot of people don't get credit for tonight. We honor He dayo Nakusaka who is but changed the way can you find the whole thing with it? He's like But I believe I'm a bad docgy documentary of the best Is it right? I think it was so good. Oh, I'm not gonna show it all I'm gonna show him fuck up. Go ahead. We'll give it a couple seconds Give a documentary out to give an Oscar up.

He slapped him retarded. Wow. Wow. Nice shot, Oli. You could have said so much stuff as you walked away. They had you play, Oli. You could have just had fun with it. I know he's something, but how,

when do you not let at least your anger take over to be like, I'm not gonna be embarrassed by myself. And by the way anger take over to be like, I'm not going to be embarrassed by myself. And by the way, the things I'm saying, I'm not stupid. Like if Chris Rock went as harsh as I'm going with the stuff so I'm saying the say, the crowd would turn. Chris Rock doesn't think like I think. So whatever the thing would be, not quite as harsh as like, you know, your bald bitch, whatever thing.

Like he could have said something funny. He just completely folded. That's why I got physically yeah emotionally Comedically he folded in every possible way because of your slap. That's why God took Jada's hair away Like what you genuinely couldn't stop me from fucking chucking a microphone at him or like I'm gonna do something back I don't know how you don't think it's also weird to be in the position where you have to present an award still and you're not getting any word I would also I would walk off and I'm gonna say I know my part. It's not a tough guy. I think Will Smith could be the living shit out of me I don't know. It's got big eyes on pretty strong trained and fighting to like do movies and shit

He's punch aliens. He's in much better shape than me. He's I'm sure he can kick my ass. I'm just saying I Wouldn't get that kind of humiliating is like I'll fuck him up and kick his ass I'm like I would just do ass. I'm just saying, I wouldn't get that kind of humiliated. It's not like I'll fuck them up and kick his ass. I'm like, I would just do something. I try to sit the zippa microphone in his face. There's gotta be something. Like, yo, you can't just fucking do that to me. I'll never leave. I'll never, I'll, I'll go into a deep depression after that because I'm like, everyone's talking about how lame I was back there. For, for how lame of a joke it was it was that upset Will Smith makes me think that there really has to be a lot of history there. Well, there's also like, do you think that Chris was like waiting for security or something

because the odd thing about this is no one got involved. Well, no one came out. That part wanted me to get in the act of state from my ankles. He's like, okay, that's what I was too. I was like, I just guys come here. I'm like, security's probably going to grab. But me think. I could probably whack him with the mic stand when he comes on stage. I mean, I'll have the full high ground. He's coming from way low. Dude, that would have been great.

I think my ankles, I go, this wouldn't burn the plant. I didn't plan on this. Oh, God. But no, that's a good example of that. That guy, like, we were like scraping the get back to that guy when we got separated. Do you know what I mean? It would have been great if the room

would have broke out half-wheel-smith and he would have been great if the room would have broke out half-wheel-smith. like we were like scraping the get back to that guy. Yeah. When we got separated. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It would have been great if the room would have broke out. Half-wheel-smith, half-cris-rock, and everyone was starting to marvel silver-waring it and just fight it. Yeah. He's really busted out.

To like, oh, bruh, that... Cumberbatch is here. He's got two things. He's like, team rock. Dude, all the West Side Story. Oh, the West Side Story. Dude, you got up. We're on Will Smith side.

Hey, Chris Rock, when you got to say a joke, be cool. Play cool. Say it cool. Boy, boy, Willie boy. Is this the full speech? Is it? No, it's the same video we said, right? He's went backwards. Yeah, he gave him a good old crack. No, it's the same video we've had, right? He's went backwards. Yeah.

He gave him a good old crack. Damn, dude. I think, but, you know, I just got this right. It's bad for, it's really bad for comedy what happened. I think it's, I'd love that it happened for the, as like the galker, you know, I mean, the person just wants to see it and be like, you know, wow, that's going crazy. I don't know why I was like I don't have something really crazy because a war going on and someone saying something about that

You know somebody coming on being like go Russia actually Yeah, I'm actually for Russia. It's kind of cool. They're doing it. Steven Segal shows up. He's like this is done some great things Academy condones will Smith condemns will Smith condones. They're good shot dude. And they open it in Quarro. Oh, there's their good China. Alopecia. She has alopecia. Well, put on a wig, you goofball. Stop having a ball.

Hey, it bothers you that much. Why are you rocking a ball that you don't have to? The girl I'm talking about, we're a wig. Didn't she always have really short hair? Yes, absolutely. Well, no, then it's for when all it was. Well, menace society, she had long braids in Jason's lyric. She had marine and Franklin hair. Yes, absolutely. Well, no, then for without. Well, menace society she had long braids in Jason's lyrics. She had marine Franklin hair. This is a thing where I feel like this is

another example of Hollywood just getting behind a weak ass excuse to play the victim with a like alopecia. It's like she had hair on her head. Alopecia. I've had it on my beard before right a year. I said a patch of bald on my beard. Get over it lady But hurt will Smith laughing and then him getting angry here. He goes he goes G.I. J. to that would be pretty. Oh, she's not liking that. Okay. Oh, I got a fight. Well, this is fuck night So I got a fight. Oh, she's like, yeah, she shaved ball But you can still see your hair growing in it doesn't look like I will piece you cuz you see your hair line

Maybe it's in the front. She might have it in the front and it goes back or something. You know, who knows? You bald pussy pig. Get out of my apartment. There you go. All right, Jacob. That's one way to play it. Damn. We'll see if we can do this. Hellgill Smith is not in Florida, dude. You're fucking ripping your butt over your address. But she's like a... And whatever she's saying to pick it, grow the fuck up.

We'll see if she's a fucking way. I even go and keep mine keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth It's like why don't you keep her pussy out of other dudes mouths and tell us about it Why do we got to be in it all your shit all the time well? There's a thing that's almost the point I'm making there are there a fucking Mike So I hear his speech when he said that like on their my some of them just snap cuz the same thing dude There's there's people no names named at all and we know names, but there's people have said things. If you saw them online, you're like, if I saw this guy, I'd probably take a fucking shot at him. Oh, I mean, because you think you have to eat so much of it.

And you fucking suck. And the show, barn fires better without J or with the gang. But whatever the fuck, you know, I mean, like, and there's used to like you suck, fuck off. I was doing it to those, but then there's also like blah, blah, and you're ugly this and your mom's like, you wouldn't say this to me in person dude. I had him on like that at the stand with a guy who said something about Katie, remember that? Oh yeah, yeah.

I said it and I was like, what's your fucking deal? And then he's like, I'm mentally ill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so tired. Oh shit. Like I pulled him outside and like Patrick and then we're gonna kick him out. And I was ready to fuck this dude up and I was like what's your fucking problem?

Do he's like I'm suicidal and I'm very mentally ill and I was like hug me holy shit And then sat and talked to him and I was like oh this guy really does have problems. Yeah, but at that moment No, you're ready to go so I'm saying that people that you want to do that too for sure I'm not saying like will Smith's thing like I mean his speech you got out there and it's been like yo That was a crazy reaction. I just said Yeah, you almost becky goes he goes I have to defend Family and other people I had to protect any starts saying who he the On the set on the set of this movie had to protect the girls playing Venus and Sreen

Those producers are trying to fuck them. You, like, Will Smith, you were, again, same thing, you're on the set of a fucking movie, dude. Like, it's not, you're not doing something that important. You have two security girls. It's important, you're making a fun thing. You're doing, doing, doing, doing keys does. You're pretending.

You're doing the same thing. You're pretending. Yes, you're playing pretend. Kind of, it kind of reminded me of the, surviving Compton after Dre beats her in the bed and then rolls over and cries. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. It was like that. A lot of things in life can boil back to surviving Compton the middle-aged story. Yeah. When Chris rock saw him cry during his Oscar performance, he goes, I know I should have left I By myself So I just

Can it was okay? I said I said we'll Smith then slap this shit out of me He's down. He's done too much good for me to get mad Then I started bribble babbling about documentaries. Oh, I said this is the person I won't name one of our friends pointed out that Chris rocks I said, this is the person I won't name. One of our friends pointed out that Chris Rocks were towards like get something going again, is to win Questlove and a bunch of other people, like as a team, won their first ever Oscar ever, and they win, they're already in the shadow

of what just happened with Will Smith, and then Chris Rock goes, Questlove and full whack eyes. And it's like, real nice dude, like this is their night, too. If you think, if you buy into the importance of the Oscars and you're there and you go, and that's their introduction, that's always gonna be their thing.

That's how they won their biggest one. Oscar, they're gonna win maybe. For possibly, you know what I mean? Yeah. So it's just like, and for white guy, like, fuck you dude. Yeah, you should, don't take it out on them, you piece of shit.

If you're one of those four white guys and you walk up there, you go, should've done something bitch. No, but when great if they all went up there one time Just came a crack on the face. It's good. It goes yeah, he just takes it. Oh, I just got slapped by one of the white guys Oh, I just got slapped by the other black ass I just got live. I don't know I got a hard hey There white guys got a hot a hand and we'll smitten old info black Yeah smack me in the face. I take Taken smacks And then we'll submit it all in full Why can't smack me in the face? I take Take and smack

Yeah, I mean that's a didn't realize he came out for the whole shot. I thought that was the only time you saw Chris rock He came out for the next the whole show. No, no, you just came The only thing when he gave away the documentary. He's giving a documentary Oh, that was the ones okay Summer so quiz level four. Why got It will Smith just from the audience goes like this Still got your son I didn't say it to him oh shut up P. Diddy came out and said they squashed the beef. Diddy?

Yeah. At the Vanity Fair Party. Yeah. Said he came out and they were like, that's all done now. Who's that? So P Diddy said. He said it's all done now. But they're few.

Because they handled it like family at the thing. Yeah, because the family. He did it. They had coronas and they raised a quarter mile out of time. I'll tell you this is rough for. I'll tell you this is rough for black people. Yes, black will you said it right now? I was talking is a bell about this last Now on the phone and she was saying so it's like she goes Jesus and she's got it's two black people of course the first time There's an assault at the thing. Yeah, five years ago was a big thing about like black people are not treated fairly at the these awards

Against the Oscars who gives a ship, but like they're not being there's so many places that like who might be each not being treated fairly more important than the Oscars, but like it goes at the Oscars. So like that's why Jada Pinkett's right. I'm saying now it's come so far and everyone's blah, blah, blah and and black is almost means nothing. And then two black people right away are smack in the face. Don't and also the way, keep my wife's name out yo mouth. It's like it couldn't be more like, what are you guys doing? Like, either be Tuxedo people in this fucking world

or stay out of this world. I say, yeah, you're rich. You're rich actor. But by the way, well Smith was a guy who goes, oh, he doesn't go to the Oscars. Like, he does the movies, but he doesn't go to the Oscars. If he wins, like, he let his daughter accept for him, he doesn't, he's not in this kind of thing. It's like you are you are a black tie affair guy

and yeah someone said the same thing and then remember uh it was the mech gala fucking Cardi B and Megan the St. Cardi B and Nicki Minaj getting a scrap fight they're throwing shoes at each other and zillion dollar ballgowns like ladies you either got to live the life or or not you got to leave that all behind you or be that person and go I don't go to Met Gales. Why the fuck would I go to the Met Gale? I'm calling you. I'm a stripper who wraps and fucking I want to live my life I'm rich, but whatever because Cardi B also though like loves the opulence loves like the fucking you know I got diamonds. She always sings about I got diamonds. I got opulence means opulence means like rich She always sings about, I got diamonds, I got all. Opulence means?

Opulence means like rich, flashing a wealth, can you look it up? No, I'm not questioning you, I didn't know the word at all. I question myself on everything, so please look it up. It's a good one though. But like, Cardi B likes that shit, all the diamonds and shit. Of course, but the thing about right wealth of luxuriousness. Nice shit.

Man, that shit. That was great. What is opulence? I don't know, can I tell you right now? I'm out there one. You know who my you know who my word of the day calendar is? Old calf. Yeah. Katie always has these words where I'm like, what is that? That's nice. But listen, no, she does like all the diamond stuff, but they like them. She wants to wear those diamonds.

That's why she wants to go fucking Roscoe's chicken and waffle. You know, I mean, like she's don't go to the mechalla. If there's any chance you're going to be in a knockdown Drag it over shit talking online. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like come on Yeah, I mean I just like last night you're absolutely right. We're going to the Moon Tower And I'm at war with Josh Adam Myers and I'm like gotta let me see him. Don't let not at that red star I'm gonna start with fake thing not that red card when Josh is hosting the Moon Towers He better not say something cross about Christine. I'll give him a good pop. Keep my girlfriend producer's name.

Out yo, mouth. I was just saying she doesn't cook. I'm like fair point. Okay. Hey, look who's here beauty in the beast. Oh, oh, oh, he's like James the beauty. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, profit on it next war about uh... yeah dude i uh... i think the whole situation sucks because it's like man it's weird to go on twitter and you see black people being like white people stay out of this you're like but it's at the widest event ever oh fuck that i can't believe that's the grossest and that should be that should be squashed by this afternoon it should have been done is that still go anyone saying that white people should never say about this is nothing to do with what you saw zero to do with one of our friends. One of

our friends said, so female white comedian in LA that was like, already on my timeline, white people are commenting about this. Oh, that's right. Can you give them a second? And you're like, that's what I think Nikki did. I think that's what you said on, no, I think Nikki said on stern. So I'm trying to remember what she said. I think she said that she was like, she took her, I didn't see it. And she may have retracted this or sent something more. I'm just saying what I heard her say was that she tweeted something and then took it down because she started seeing all the things where it's like, why people really shouldn't chime in on this one?

I'm like, why? It's the biggest. Why? There's not a black event. And there's like, what can we not chime in on here? Isn't that assault at us at us award show? Yeah. Are you saying that black people are it's like do it? We're not a lot of violent. Are they silent? Are we saying the opposite sign?

If fucking Kevin Costner cracked John Lithgow on the chops, it would be awesome. Would it want to be awesome? But could you imagine saying it's like if I came in and I was like, black Lou just like lay back on this one because I don't know if like If we came in we were waiting to sort this out, please John Stewart was hosting the Academy Awards and Kevin Costard Debtum This is our thing. Yeah black Lou. I'm so sorry, and I'm sure you have a lot to say but keep it to your black ass self Sorry, this is a white on white issue. Why is this a white cisgendered male thing? I want a male is really good Lou you're hitting the drop like you'd mean it.

Lou, timely, please. Sweet watermelon's really good. All right, dude. You have to chill out. Yeah, this is never not funny though. Damn it. Damn it is so funny. Should we take a break?

Let's take a break. We didn't even get to practice now. We, this is gonna reach, this is gonna reach, I think. Don't worry. Well, by the way, more is gonna come out about it. It this is gonna reach this is gonna reach I think don't worry Well, by the way more is gonna come out about it. It's gonna be Chris rock to make a statement at some point I hope it's really why it's a wired shut jaw Guys look well Smith is one of the greatest actors of our generation and we should understand the jokes are jokes But sometimes jokes the across oh, let me do my Chris Rock, too. Soon time Joe crosses that. I got to learn when to term our dear dream jokes.

Soon time's a woman ball because she wanna be bald. Sometimes a woman ball because she got the alopecia. Now, what time? It would be good if this was just a feud where every time they're together, they started fighting. Like the next time Chris Rock attacks Will Smith Wait what's funny to me is every Philadelphia comedians take on the Chris Rock thing sounds like Sam and his Boston logger cousin commercial I'm gonna kick his ass man. I don't know about you, but I'd kick his ass Great captain these right every he's like every Philadelphia comedians take on a photo a community and I'll say this. I don't say I would kick his ass I said I doubt very highly I could kick Will Smith's ass what I'm saying is I would have done something

Do you know I mean like it didn't if Jason Mamoah came to slap you to say who just takes it and Howard Stern said something I said I think it was I don't know if it was his Wording that got me or something but he said he was, if it was Jason Mamoah who said that line, Will Smith would have just said they're like a fucking bitch and took it and I'm like, well, so wait, Stern, you're arguing with there is saying like if he didn't do something about it, he's a bitch.

Yeah, so. So you're saying Will Smith would have been a bitch to not smack whoever said it. Yeah, you're saying he just, like he wouldn't have done that if it was Jason Mamoah. It's like, I mean, I thought. I don't know. I saw someone tweet out really funny tweet those.

Maybe he would, Will Smith might fight Jason Mamoah. After it happened, someone tweeted out, this is why she pelled bulked up. You know, you just fucking jacked on it. Um, we're gonna take a break. We're gonna be right back. Yeah. It's the modifier. You knew that. You're gonna be right back. Yeah. It's the bonfire.

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