The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - There Will Be Blood (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

The great Ari Shaffir has hilarious thoughts on sex, little people, and Will Smith.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. Sorry everybody, sorry we played so much of that song, but Jacob needed some cheer and up. I had to go over there and romance his ass a little bit.

Say what? It's here to everybody else. That's back big. I feel good. Really romantic the bone because of that heart on it. So even Ari is feeling good and he is so worried about what's gonna happen to Gaza today. Yeah.

He's really worried about that. It's so funny St staying. I just don't read the news or anything. I just get random reports like we're going to war like what? Why? Come on. Come on. What? I've been in the woods. I miss January 6th also. You're one's like are you looking at this and it's just me in a hammock in the Amazon. I'm like yeah it's great. You look like you should know what's going on. That's it. You yeah, it's great. You look like you should know what's going on. That's it.

You're the inside trash. Yeah, you look like you should have a banner in your back pocket and a flag ready to whip up with a 360 camera. It's either that or some tallest to wrap around you from one of your areas. Yeah. I mean, like Manora, like Manora.

But you've told me before that you're you're you know, to the river to the sea. I mean Right, what does that mean? That's a Palestine that's their motto. Yeah, that's their motto. That's your thing. Do you ever shirt like that? I know mine. I have a shirt that says peace through superior firepower. It's a picture of an uzi Yeah, you see what they be a bill BLM Chicago Chicago put out they put a BLM Chicago Chicago put out they put a

Parish a paracheter guy a paratrooper guy silhouette with a Palestinian flag on it. Yeah Like it's just they're that's their thing now. Say we stand for Palestine. We stand for Palestine But it's the world and then they use another I looked it up I was like is that real and then the the first host is listen yesterday We made some regrettable posts, but the rest are always there for Palestine Yeah, I don't know. I mean listen. I'm sure I can be convinced that you know through a smarter person that seeing Palestine side of this so much, but yeah, you know your videos it's fucking crazy Yeah, you're for Palestine. Jay's for Palestine. He's a post. Yeah, he's at 100% I'll blindly say it. I believe in pal know Jake that shouldn't say that no

Okay, no, I'm not for Palestine. Jay said I don't know if this cults are not put a nice thing with a sound effect here for Palestine Oh, you just got Palestine Jay what do you feel about the Palestinian problem? Oh, man. What do you mean the problem of the Palestinians? Oh You just got Palestine. Yeah. They're not gonna think they're not gonna think again before they do something. That was actually more Israeli. No, no, here's Israeli. You play Bobby's for Israeli. You just got Israeli. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh nice. I have one for Ari. Oh, yeah, you just got aried. Yeah Tell you what right now fucking hey, balder than me. Sorry dude. It's got aried Get the fuck out and go home. Oh, I remember that fat man I remember that guy we're trying to fire me wouldn't leave he was our Lou I was trying to fire him in the middle of the shade wouldn't leave Mike go away. I see part of that video before you He was just fucked up every week and then we had a big call down on Serone And he was like now the phones will be fixed next week, and then they weren't. We had to put him on speaker phone on a mic and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

He's like, oh, I just like, get the fuck out. And you kicked him out? Yeah, he just wouldn't leave. Did he eventually? Eventually. Nothing worse than a lazy sound man. And he was like, I'll get this, folks. And I'm like, and then just no effort at all.

You're like, you go, you have nothing to add, but bad drops. Get the fuck out. Get out. He wouldn't leave. Bad nothing to add but bad drops get the fuck out get out. He wouldn't leave Bad drops. He did bad drops people like people like you're calling fat. I'm like no His name on the show was fat man That context is tough. That is funny. I fired this fat fuck. No his name is this fat fuck this fat fuck Yeah, it's Indian Lou I didn't think you listen to a podcast or something with the different ears and a lot of people you're listening to see what the production does

Oh, yeah, I can tell you can tell that fat man was bad. I didn't listen to that much I really yeah, I just kind of go go fuck you areie and that's what came out Are you are you just snap a lot? I snap a lot Well, Sam Sam Tripoli and you did a show and you used to show that show Well, I what really I wanted to drive salmon to a blind rage That was that is real fun part of it. I've done it a few times You drive drive people the violence really nothing's better. I got a Brody really bad once and that was the biggest success I had

I see went home and hung himself, but that was good But that was good to good good good good fucking Good dozen session there. He's a big dodger fan and I would come out. The ultimate yo mama win. I gave him a rickety chair and some strength. String. You give him a chair from Vos's house. I'm a teacher.

Do you see his new Vos got new furniture for his brand new house? What does that mean? He found furniture outside. No, it's worse. 17th century. Why? It's worth. He keeps getting like gold painted wooden. It's bizarre. He's got a weird taste. He's got 17th century Italian art on the wall. And he bought 17th century furniture. It's like, money hates them. Well,

money hates Voss. Okay, Voss. So really anything he touches. That's fair. Well, here's his own bedroom, which is fucking nuts. Does he really? He has a bedroom, not like, I understand like some, you get older, some man cave. Some he snores, maybe I'll go in this, the guest room. Yeah. Voss has his own bedroom.

Bonnie has her room. Really? And he has a room and he decorated it like as a room. I think it was like dark digler's teenage bedroom. It's like pictures of Ferraris and other masculine muscular dudes. Yeah as inspiration Muscle and my stepfather used to read all those magazines and I don't know how I thought it was anything other than gay. What is it? All the magazines in our house were like weightlifting related. Oh, yeah, it's pretty so it was like muscle and fit But it was always like or iron man and it was just the bodybuilder magazines

Yeah, it's pretty so it was like muscle and fit but it was always like or iron man And it was just the body builder magazines you know, he wasn't a body builder But it was just it's just non-stop pictures of dudes. I would Find a way to whack off to the rare woman in there, but they were also Muscley, but what that creates is a real heavy camel toe situation, uh-huh, which is beatable when you're young I actually found my stepdad's porn When I was like 14 or 15 and it was fat chicks. No. And I was, I was appalled.

Wow. I was like, I've never, I, well then I looked at my mom, my real mom and I was like, he's jerking off to my mom because my mom was in fat but she was definitely a mom chubby. I was, when I was younger, I would do that a little bit. I would jerk off to not so much, I would make myself find hot in like out of the meat. The BbW girls and stuff. Well maybe this is a girl if I ever get anywhere in life that I can, I can fuck this

pretty large woman. I found my dad's porn and it's all investment, poorly, poorly. Did your dad not have porn? No way. Zero chance. No porn at all. I mean under a 1% chance really yeah, how do you think you got it out or just not his personality? You don't think you got it all I mean he was a good And job places or no yeah, I don't know how many how many kids did you have 17? How many kids did you father? How many? Four.

No, four plus eight. Five. Five kids. Maybe just... That's a lot of fucking. Yeah. You don't think he ever had any... He just went to his brain.

I think once he... I mean, yeah, I don't know where he would even want a bit. Bathroom? Bathroom. Maybe a shower. A shower's a spot. Yeah, a shower's a spot. You gotta be careful though. You weren't saying he wasn't a whack-off guy.

You just don't think it was to porn. Yeah, I don't think he watched porn. It's fair. It's a fair thing. But I always thought my friends who were when I was younger, I still have friends like that. There's something just like,

yeah, I just don't watch porn at all. Really? Just for the sole purpose of jerking off, like, I don't jerk off that much. Poin is so weird now though, because back when you watched porn, when I was with you, you had to find them, it was a movie,

like you watched the movie. You really couldn't rewind. It was a pan of the ass kind of now. You watch porn and it's just like a little clips. And it's a thousand clips. I kind of watched it in clips all the time, but I said the over saturation of it, it's so crazy when I type in like whatever category

I'm looking for, how many pages deep and there's got to be a couple hundred on each page. How many thumbnails I go through? When I click on page two without even selecting one, I'm like, if you would have given me a page two. A one minute commercial for one of these clips when I was younger, I'd have made that last for months. How many pages have you gone through?

Before I've... Before you picked one. I've remembered like you picked one. I've probably two or three, especially if there's ones coming off from one website and it's the same kind of bullshit over and over again. I've got the seven pages. No. Yeah, I've got through seven pages

because I know exactly from the thumbnail if I'm just like, nope, nope. And then you see it, you're like, oh, that's it. That's it. That little face right there is what I'm looking for. Yeah, you see it, you're like, oh, that's it. That's it. That little face right there is what I'm looking for. Yeah, you see it. What I do also is I have my page where I pick from, with all, you know, you can click the page two,

three, four of all the videos. Yeah. And every time I click it, it opens a new tab with that in there. So I get about five, six tabs going, and then I just work backwards, and when if I don't come by I'm closing out that last tab, now I'm back to the main page looking for four more. It brings you up to when you click on that one, it brings you all those similar.

And then it brings you close where it's like, oh, you really love, I don't know, stash black check. And so then it's like, oh, here's a bunch more on that next page will be all that. It'll help you. It's too much. It really is because I didn't need much more. If I had like, I definitely jerked off when I was young, I had a ripped piece of like a magazine picture,

just like a picture of a naked girl or something from a porn, it would work. There was one porn that I, because I've, this porn is a kid, because I used to have to get a tape, and you'd have that tape for a while, and then you'd return it or give it to somebody else

and get another tape. So you had a, that was your thing. It was not, you put it in five different tapes sucked, but there was one tape that I, I used to like and I used to try to find them now and redo it. It's so hard, yeah.

It's so hard and I've, but I've done most of them except one. Which one was it? It was like, I think it was Ginger Lynn. It was one of the Lins. Yeah, good game, her Lynn. She was in a house and she was like an investigator or a spot, I don't know, she was not supposed to be there and she dressed up

She dressed up like she dressed up like a guy. Oh, she put a mustache on in the top hat Those are those things the whole room of film was all about and the guy Kind of was like hey, what's going on? I'll try it because he thought it was like a So he just pulled her pants down from behind. And. Quite that surprise. Oh no. Yeah. It's not a guy.

It's one of the hottest porn stars of all time. But you know, he never knew. He just did it from me. And I can't find that one. I want to find that one. It's hard to overload it now. So if you're like, describe it, like, there's, we've narrowed this 75,000.

I know. You're right. I put in specific things I remember from a childhood scene. You're like, that's just unfortunately, the person shows up to your door. I remember when I stole a video from my uncle's friend who was my grandmother's tenant. Yeah.

I rented a room in the basement and we figured out how to break into his room and we would get his porn tapes. And the first one I remember is being alone and being able to slap it too was an Asian girl shows up selling something door to door and the two guys just bring her in. They're like, sure, get in here.

And then I just remember her being fully dressed and the guys like pulling out their fucking milky white weeners and like putting them in her mouth and show, it's just like this. It's insane. Because it seemed like a regular. I didn't know like, you know, the nature of porn and what it was.

I just, I want to find that, but I feel weird typing in ginger-lin mustache. It's your top hat. Yeah. I mean, I don't know the nature of porn and what it was. I want to find that, but I feel weird typing in ginger-lin mustache. It's your top hat. Yeah. I mean, I don't want that to come. The promise back then, the search was just the title. They didn't do search engine optimization. So it's just like, it's the title, I'll forget it.

But the classics were the classics too. Marilyn Chambers getting banged by the Tony Dan's looking guy on the pool table. A huge... Yeah. I was one I was searching for. It was a four to two sums. One was fucking at a couch. She was on the couch. The guy was on his knees in front of the couch.

Another was fucking on a piano table. Or a piano. Grand piano, it was a classy one. And so then the guy, in the piano finishes, but doesn't finish finish, and he comes up behind the girl on the couch and he comes in her hair. Yeah. It was the realist reaction I've ever seen and apporned.

She was so mad, she pulled the other guy out, she's like, fuck you, fuck you. I didn't say I was okay. And then stormed off. And I thought, okay, he knotted, threw my car, so I blasted. I'll tell you what's... What? They bang on a grand piano. Yeah.

They're standing and we're... They're playing. I don't know what city. No, no, no. Well, what on a grand piano? Yeah, we're standing and where I don't know what city? No, no, no, well, what part of the piano? So you know where it gets like what yeah top? Yeah One of my favorite that a better spot is that no, I mean it doesn't seem reliable Christine you could probably look this up and find it because one of the funniest porn reality things because I always said I love to as close to reality as we can get with this is what I'm always looking for. And so I did like in those early days, still dial up the internet or T1 maybe. T1, the goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo,

goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, goo, what that was, it turns out, from like looking into this, was they were just like the bachelor at party things. They're girls there that are there to fuck, like they're paid to be the to fuck, and then the guys are gonna fuck them.

Sometimes they'd fuck actual like college dudes, but the girls were always like brought in. But ultimately the thing was, hey, let us shoot at your frat party, your frat house. Yep. You guys can all watch and cheer and everything just, you know, you're not gonna get involved, but this is gonna have,

and maybe one of the girls will fuck a couple of the guys and always see who goes. The batch of at party ones, the trees turned me on too. And I, because, and I, I, I know the new ones have girls that they bring in but back then it was just it was just the party and the guys I loved when they would go to they would go to some aunt yeah some short-haired aunt that you know hasn't seen a penis in years that was the lover boys and you lover boys and then obviously would come out she would just go like this and I fuck it and she would just behind they'd'd be holding a towel up,

and they'd be like, they'd like slowly like, okay, I guess, and they would just like suck their dicks. Those are great options. Shubby, chummy, a chubby aunt, just given into a penis. I don't know why I did it. We don't have to watch this again, which by the way, there's a longer version now. It's in the world, but we always showed that one

with the girl that's called Instant Regret the Video, where it's a girl who was just there as background Jumped in and got into the guy comes on her face and she's super knew it and then she gets up and they just do a countdown He goes reality sets in in three two and you see her just go Boy, she's like what the fuck and she almost like is like teary like what the fuck did I just do? Not here. Oh guys real quick. Just real quick, they found 40 dead babies today. Anyway, it's good. Okay.

Yeah, just real quick. 40 dead babies. Yeah, that's, guys. Trying to keep people away from that, thinking for a little while and find some escapism. Yish. That's all right. It's one family, he said it guys gonna have to

get after it. Should have jerked off. It's all the Rosencranches. The Rosencranches kids. The Rosencranches. So they, the one, you gotta love comics though. I said that you guys still fucking had something to do.

Like, where can I go with that? Where can I go with that? Where can I get a laugh out of 40 dead babies? The college, the college, the campus one, there's a great video of the guys are just drunk, the actual for that boys, and they're being shitty. They're talking shit to the girls, and I think they're doing like, you know, like, PU faces on the girl, and the guy, uh, with his dick out, he just goes and tries to fight like a

few of the kids. It's very real. And then you see them leaving, they're all taking off and like, their piss shows them the car like, fuck those guys. Very real. Like, they, what they were going to do was reality porn, and it got fucked up. that I got all taken off and that their piss shows them the car like fuck those guys very real like They what they were gonna do was reality porn and it got fucked up. That's what's really funny about that But the things you're talking about there's a couple of good clips I'm like Hollywood

Something like a few type in Hollywood male strippers Christine. Well, it's these two videos. It's 20 minutes long total It's these big like muscular like stripper guys at a house party And they are it's definitely real because they're being shitty It's like is this your mom's just like drunken ladies in their 40s with not great bodies and they're just fucking up And then when they leave that piss all over they're like clothes and closets and shit. They're being fucking assholes But it's it's, yeah. It's funny. It's funny on these videos on what does it call love a boy?

Lover boys. Lover boys. It was funny because these guys would go up to these fat, chubby middle-aged women and they put whipped cream on their dicks just to really put it over the edge. Cause you know they like, you know they're hungry. You know, I mean, they haven't had dessert yet. Today's my sweetest day.

And they take a swipe of the whipped cream and they're hungry. You know what I mean, they haven't had dessert yet. Today's my sweetest day. And they take a swipe of the whipped cream and they're like, oh, let me get some more from that. That's real whipped cream. You guys into blackmailed strippers, dude. Those guys are superheroes. They have to hold up the largest black women and flying 69s and all kinds of shit.

It's really dangerous. Christine, jump around in this video. You'll see what I'm doing. What is this video? Can you explain it? This is the male stripper. Christine, please. Why do we not have a damn wine? How do we know of a Can I just say some about this dude? These guys have to stop with the ads in front of the porn being

90% louder than the oh my god I'm trying to be some quiet. I already lowered it to one. I'm in my hotel room And it's like I got it on the perfect level where I can nobody's gonna hear me And then that ad comes in right before you want to see my cock what no Slow down Christine jump around a little bit. Oh, God. It's so real. You know it's bad when it's in night vision Oh, yeah, that's Sony camera. They're all I can't believe I'm doing this. Oh, this is this is so great jump around Christine. It's just people on couches This is so great jump around her scene. It's just people on couches, Kavacea and Night vision. What are their voices? Oh, they're just dildos

Did male strippers suck. That's a male stripper. Yeah, these are the guys Magic Mike Find the part two of it Kristi. You'll see where they just fake fucking moms and just mean to them That's so great good shit. No, it was down there This is uh these guys, but what a life that's what I like I like the one where it's a cuckstuff and then they the guy the cuck guy Halfway through goes actually. I'm I don't want I don't want I don't want to do this don't do this and the ladies like Hey, it's happening. There's a couple where they fight You know you're doing the fake one. There's a couple realies. Yeah, like really is for the guys like I'm gonna just like and you hear them like the subtile is like what do the guys like here?

Like what do you want? Is there is there a better word than that? Cuck cuck. I mean that describes exactly what you are I think if you type C if you type C into my computer search, Uckold is the first thing coming up behind that. Cuckold, what a fucking regal man. It's the best porn search. It's the most real I should say you're gonna get. I need a P-O-V-Cuck, porn.

Because usually you're watching another guy get cucked. What you wanna be is the guy being cucked. I don't even, P-O-V-C-I'm looking away. All I know is it's being be is the guy being cucked. I don't even, the POB is not looking away. All I know is it's being filmed by the guy. What do you want to be? Which one do you want? I want to be the cuck guy. He wants to be, also, I want to be the guy,

and then like, as I fucking turn over and see fucking Jacob going, no. And then go back to the girl, okay? Okay, we got to use some VR. Christine, give it a whack on this. See Jacob, Jacob, we up in a blanket just going no Let's blanket things you wear the hoodie the hoodie the hoodie you're just pissing he's just pissing all over their stuff Why cuz their pieces of shit?

And then like in front of that same closet you just fuck some older lady later Oh god poor husband poor husband goes to put his work boots on to go to work the next day And then like in front of that same closet you just fuck some older lady later. He's got a rough day. Oh God. There you go. There's a three-hours-hospit. Paul has been going to put his work boots on to go to work the next day. Oh, it's a honey. Honey, can I do you care if I have Lisa's bachelor at party here tonight? Yeah, I'll say.

Oh, what a thing. They're real showers as they call it. No, they don't call it that. They don't play too much. So, do you feel a lot better now? What a thing. What a thing. I mean, these guys are pissing on duves yeah like holiday duves

But skip ahead doesn't stop these girls from sucking their dicks Get out of that this guy's a knob. He's a knob. He is enough. You're right. Oh, it's wearing a fucking speed up. Oh, it's for Yeah, they look like idiots, but I mean they just go to a party and girls suck their dicks all night Yeah, that's real though. Yeah, that's real. Did you find the campus one Christine where the guy gets mad because that's one of the funniest videos ever I just don't have to know show some respect for the lady. She's sitting there like she already has come all over She's like, yeah show a little respect for me The night vision when it first came out though, you could see the veins.

Like you could see through the skin. Yeah, Paris Hilton was a night vision. Yeah, that was gross. Yeah, well years from now But yeah the black dudes are fucking those guys are feats of nature because it's only super super Uh gigantic black woman who seems to go to these things and they want to be tossed around So they need to be strong Girls in the park just diking out while the guy coaches them Isn't it great Bobby don't actually this isn't great. I tell you I don't like I don't like the night vision because it look

Now keep going it pops out of my vision when he just fucks a lady a Those look at Navy seal thing gone wrong. Oh, I don't even know you. Oh, that's what's going to save you of knowing their name. That that'll make you a lady. Plus they don't know how to tell. 87 for Latins. Call it out. Let's call it on air right now. 87 for Latins.

Can we call it? What is it? 87 for Latins. Do you know who it is? No, he's just on there at the end. Let's call it. Oh, for the strippers. 8774Latin.

I really don't like, like, yeah. Reality porn that much. Why? Oh, I love reality. I like a story. I like a build up. I'm a romantic dude. I like, hey, how are you?

A little conversation. Bob, you want to hold many series in the last episode of six seasons. I want to look at nots seasons. I want to I want like a nots landing I want I want an evil person Like you know a good person. I want a story. I want a story. Are here. Here's another goodie Yeah, desperate amateurs if you look that up all you can get without being a member of the site I guess is these they're always like 10 minutes and 30 seconds long the video, but it's five or six different

Little scenes because all they do they show you it's Generally speaking mildly attractive to unattractive people and then it's just they have a guy Just yeah, that's the actual site though, but like if you go to the compilations It just shows great shows the interview for a couple minutes. Yeah. Like a minute or two. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're naked and making out or suck and dick. And then they're getting fun. It just jumps through. No, come shots, which is a bummer. Okay. But then it just jumps to another girl. Just fucking got trouble. I was trying to get rid of it before the car shut. I love. Don't just hit me in text. I left the dog out. I left you left a dog out. I just left the dog out. I left, you left the dog out. I just left the dog out.

Out. In the backyard. This is the backyard. Yeah, what are you gonna do? Desperant amateurs do. Hey, look, 40, sweater, sweater. 40 babies. 40 babies.

What do you got? See, just regular. Regular old people. What's the campus one you want me to look up? I can't find it. Do campus porn? Uh, angry. Jacob, what type of porn do you like besides Christine?

Ha ha ha ha. So I just slamming to your conjured up ideas of Christine. Besides fucking a wicking in my head. She's got big boobs. I can give her whatever boobs I want. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. What's a C? What's an F? I can't resist being one. I can't have science. I can change your laugh in my dreams. Whatever I want that was that one of a

Sean Rouse's best bits he goes I don't like to watch porn when I'm asked for it I choose my imagination because that way I control the action What kind of point are you like Sears got a look you like lady chatterlier stuff like that? I mean, I don't know any porn shows and more of amateur chatter. Lady chatterly was like back in the day, it was a story.

That was a cinema. Yeah, they did it like a castle. It was like a castle or a farmhouse. You like early Airbnb, really good for us. That's all I knew as porn, that's all I wanted. I like soft, I had a whole videotape compilation. I was like, I had a problem with Skinimax or whatever.

He goes, they didn't, you need to move opposite. They move together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to move, you out, me out, now together. Yeah, that's how you fuck. The guy's banging their belly buttons. Well, no, it's not just that. It's not just that, just saying the motion though,

it's like they're just like going, everything's going together where it's like it should be, yeah, a retraction. Oh my god. Oh my god. That's a common dick. These porn ads for Christ's sake. Well worse. See, if you can last 40 seconds while this ogre fucks this green woman.

Yeah, what is that? That looks good. What is that? That lady chatter. Yeah, lady chatter, it was great. Listen to the music. I mean, it's a man, of course, set. I mean, is that? That looks good. What is that? That's Lady Chatterley. Yeah, Lady Chatterley was great. Listen to the music. I mean, I'm a man and a corset. I mean, is it?

Her makeup is being smudged. Yes, Bobby, it is. Wait, now, there's a story to be told here, Jay. So you have to come to a story of why is this man wearing a corset? Well, I mean, look at that. I like when they kiss, too. I like... I like kiss sex. Big, big pointy nips. You know, I love when they make out, because when you kiss too. I like, I like kiss sex. Big, big pointy nips.

You know, I love when they make out, because when you kiss somebody, it makes it real. You know what I mean? When they make out, look at her. She's, oh my god. Oh, they gotta put some. Bobby's going back, so. You ever hook up with a chicken as you're like making out with them or like kissing this stomach, something they suck

or, you're like, shut up. I mean, don't have to get you stupid fucking idiot. You're a you're like shut up. I mean done if you get you stupid Fuck you idiot. You're a firm wait for the penetration. I actually like it. Okay, Bobby this just doesn't work That why not he's a dude. He says pants are up to his chest. He was out cutting wood and making houses He has to suspend all of that. Oh the proof. Oh, yeah I'm married right. Oh, that's a that's a lady. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Oh shit It's assumed we're happy with the course of the ground Bobby looks to see a woman having sex who takes her 35 minutes to take her clothes off. I do look at that. That's hot

It's a girl. I know it's pretty hot. I know there was so much gender play here Bobby, I don't know you were so into gender play. It's such a young age I really want to find that ginger Lynn mustache hat I'm the Google is not working on that one. I know I can't find it ginger lin mustache Maybe it was ginger lin maybe go at the point I've been lin black was got it was a I'm sorry yes though are you are I said to call 877 four lands yeah apparently their company has changed because they did pick up, I hung up. They text me.

Okay. They are now, thanks for calling. Need a little person? Remember, you can order online at littlepeopledelivery.com. What? Christine, look at it right now, please. Little peopledelivery.com. Oh, I got way better than I thought it would be.

Okay, now we're cooking with gas. Wow. Wow. What? Just do it, do you mind Wow, I mean why would you get four Latins and get a new number? Oh, are we about to order a little person? We sure are I hope it goes listen all I ask you guys don't fuck my aunt and don't pee in my closet Can we order a little a little person dressed as a Palestinian and one dressed as in Israeli? I believe we can but there are Two things I want to see. Costumes. Costumes and then videos.

And who their little people are. Oh my God. We should get the Chuckie one. And have a good movie with us. Yo, you can have, wait, go up. You can get a Joe Biden midget. Donald Trump or Occabama, obvious. They can host things for you.

They can bartend. They can do it. You ball last, you can wrestle. Telegrams. Seeing telegrams, they can host your events. War boxing, which I would not mind having happened in the background here while we do a show. Oh, I like the handcuff prank, you just get handcuffed to a fucking homogenge.

There's an IRS prank. We do that the Lewis and really scare the shit out of him. I.R.S. So they just send a little person to be like, I'm serving you for not paying a tax. Yeah, yeah, really get Lewis. And he's like, I was gonna pay him all at some point. Could we?

Doggy, I didn't know you tax is on the rental. Could we have a, I would think it'd be worth paying. I trust me, bro. A week full, a week loaded with guests that we have. I'd like to have every day that we, our guests, have to be handcuffed to two little people. It's up on the other side of them. We have to reshift the microphone.

Can next time we do a live bonfire, we hire little people security. Yes. Yes. Christine, how many images can we get for security? I mean, I want me and Bobby to walk down the street like fucking like the president. Yeah. They put a Nashville, well they delivered a Nashville to the Wild West Comedy Festival. Well they would deliver to the Wild West Comedy Festival. Well they would deliver to the Moontower Comedy Festival.

Make way everybody for these little people and Jay and Bobby coming out. It just took me back to the main page when I clicked on Secure. Okay, I don't like that. Well, they need a good new webmaster from above. Okay, we're gonna need 30 to 40 of your best midgets. Do I security or police?

Cause there's both options. Police security. I want one with like a little earpiece and he talks into his cuff. Yeah, yeah. His little baby cuff. His teensy cuff. CIA, FBI agent.

Maybe that's the best. They're gonna want the FBI. FBI, I'll take an FBI. Oh, CIA. Yeah, midget CIA. Touch your ear. I need so many of them though. Oh, C.R.Pry, there's a pricing.

Let's see what the price is. Yeah, because this count to get 20 Do you remember the security guard at Jeff? That was afraid of Brad? Oh Remember I mean that was you out there for that. I don't know. No, I would never that you would never forget I would never that one you a host in not that year. No, no, it was Brad I wasn't brought who was so you a hosting no, no, I was late was it Brad? Who was who you were hosting? No. Who was I hosting? I was the boss of the Jeff. Slatin. I was hosting.

You were hosting. I was hosting. I got old I am. Your host knows you. And the security guard was fucking deathly if we had a phobia of little people. And Brad would sneak around the car. No, he came around.

No, what happened? It wasn't sneaker on the car. Inside they started being like Brad go up to him whenever. He burst out the door outside. His car's for some reason. His park's right at the bottom of those back stairs in the nasty show in Montreal. And he ran down. He was standing next to his car.

Brad just came out. I mean, and he could have been being more chucky-dollish about it. I mean, he was definitely coming all like, and this guy, they did, they did a, they did a Benny Hill around the car for like three or four rotations, and then they would switch directions. And then the first time he was by his car door, he got in his car and peeled down the road. Never came back. I think I'm back the next day. No, he was, he was stage manager, retired from the job for the rest of the festival. Wow. He he was no joke angry

Yeah, that he was I'm not I'm not kidding man. I don't like it. I don't like it. No, we know we're taking it We're taking the services we should Christine could we get a quote please like to get a quote on a price? I'm gonna guess it's 200 dollars an hour. It got 50 bucks for the whole night. 50 bucks for the whole. Okay, one hour, one dwarf, 400 bucks. One hour, two dwarfs, seven, for this is all way worth it.

Two hours and one dwarf for tossing or bowing. I mean, there's gotta be something for a live show where we can let you come up and just throw a dwarf. Hey, you win. What a great prize for a game we play. All right, that's a good answer. You get to throw a dwarf. Hey, you win. What a great prize for a game we play. All right, that's a good good answer. You get to throw a dwarf. There's boxing. You could beat the fuck out of a dwarf. No, they box each other, I think. So there's one dwarf for wrestling a boxing. This is all all these prices sound perfect.

Well, what you need in wrestling is a low center of center of gravity, which they have. It should have you walked onto the stage at our next live show with security. Yeah, sure. We want. You get six of them and you guys write out and a chariot of some kind of that carrying. That you're like, is it floating slightly up the ground?

No, we should pull up in a limo and have them hop out. Yeah, out. And they really can't make it so they kind of fall out because their feet don't touch the ground. They don't fall out. They keep the car to the ground. There's like a pile up because like one falls and then they all start falling on top each other getting out of the thing. Travis got situation.

Oh my god! We pull up on a monster truck and they have to repel down. No, there's Farney, that'll ask. Little people quote in question form. We'll get back to that. Help desk. Two hours, two people. We should call the help desk and ask if they're tested

for STDs before they get here. What I'm hearing by these, but it's not that thing, I'm like, so you're, we're fused to test them. What I'm hearing in these numbers is, Bobby, if me and you're a willing to go in 2K on this adventure, we can do whatever we want to a lot of midgets for the whole night.

We should cock them. Let's make it's cock them. Bring your, oh yeah, hey guys, also I need you to bring your midget girlfriends. I'm gonna make you watch us fuck them with regular dicks. Real actual, or forget it. With regular weeners. Weeners.

Look, big regular weeners. God damn it. It's such a weird day. One hour, one door, four hundred bucks. It's the real reason why Nick Novicki is losing his lifelong fight with, stop saying legit, midgets like a bad word.

It's like because the bulk of you, while one of you was waving that flag and being like, I've managed to do it without my doorbell. Everyone was just like, dude, you can bowl me like a piece of shit down a aisle. While all of your friends laugh at how little and weird we are. Imagine those websites,

we could just call black guys the N word. So, you know, you can lean on my neck. All it's all good for go. You can lean on my neck. Oh, look, another guest here is wanna prize. Go ahead and squeeze that midget's hand. Isn't it weird? There's like, there's no, like, mouse bones in it.

I used to love shaking if Noviky's hand. I'm like, we can play a game. We put the wallet in their back pocket and whoever can get it wins. Yes, lots of magic games. Pin the tail on the whatever. So many, I'd like the idea of having one of those sticky walls and they're wearing the Velcro outfit.

It's just more like a letterman. It's a letterman. Yeah, catapult them under the wall. No, you just rage throw them against the wall. That's nice. You're gonna need to stick to it. No, rage wall. No, you just rage throw them against the wall. That's nice. You're gonna need to stick to it. No, rage room. Jacob, you're gonna feel huge.

What'd you try to do, trick, when the kids flip the bottle over and try to land it? Yes. We could play Spin the Bottle with Midgets. We could play with kids each other. The possibilities are limitless, guys. We have for two grand, we own these Midgets for a night. They will work with us.

But I'd like to talk to the company and say, Hey, what happened to the Latinos who would come fuck your wife and piss on your clothes? Yeah, are they now? Did they shrink? Yeah, yes. All those guys shrunk and now we had a pivot. We had a pivot on our ideal of the year. A lot of got saatic. They got older. I guess this is the real world. I mean did you hear that the Disney live-action

They shot snow white and the seven doors But they're not dwarves anymore. They're just regular people seven quirky people. Yeah, culturally diverse Yeah, yeah, it looks like a street gang in a death wish movie. None of it makes sense Yeah, they can't be dwarves because they're like, why would they only hang out with each other? You know mad, you know mad dwarfs are right now that they lost like one of their final gifts. I'm not wrong. Picture, I'm terrible. I feel like the numbers lean much more towards

little people being like, lighter than I've ever did. Stop complaining. What else are we going to do? Oh man. And Christmas, we all get Christmas money because we get to play fucking elves and shit. Stop. And Christmas, you all get Christmas money because we get to play fucking elves and shit. Stop.

And Christmas. You got a hot Christmas movie. You're getting paid residuals for life. Uh-huh. You think we're just going to be in the NBA if they call it quality? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a lot of dwarfs are mad that they did that. They lost.

I mean, that's a prime gig. How did we go from porn and your favorite porn genres to dwarf tossing? I'll tell you exactly how, because I was talking about those male strippers. We called the company for Latin's. It shifted for us. And when we called Black Lou made the call

and found out that it is now, you can order little people and throw them. And then we all got really excited. And now we find out for a relatively fair price, you can own a few midgets for several hours. I'll tuck them down. Do you see, by the way, each additional hour is 200 per midge. That's pretty awesome.

Wow. Only 200 more smackers keeping for now. You know what dude? I'm not done. I think I'm gonna bang against the wall one more time. So here's two bills dude, just sit tight for me. I'm not gonna get the edge. You're not gonna work. one more time. So here's two bills do just sit tight for me I don't know where I'm gonna be at you. I'm not gonna. I haven't come yet. Yeah, there's no rainbow coming for days, sir. Relax Relax

No, they're gonna rise up. What do you think Mijits feel about this homos thing? Wow, how many Mijits were taken? Just then it wasn't't babies it was 40 little people 40 little people Oh, they were dressed like CIA agents of all days to play that joke They were 40 little people up and crossed over the wall with them If you had a bunch of little people dressing as Rayleigh soldiers, why did we do that? Yeah, there's there's There's this seven the seven quirky people Just full-sized dwarves, huh and a girl a lady girl. No one dwarf. No, one dwarf. No, none. No, that guy in the front. No, no, it's not. Who's here? Are not. He's on a hill. But Snow White is Snow Black, right? No, no, she's not brown. Yeah, she's no brown. So Snow White is no longer

Snow White. Snow Blanca. She's Snow White. She's so mama sita. Blanca, so. Apparently, there was so much backlash that they've sort the original They should change the original no no no they just like made it and they put it in 4k and they're releasing on to you You can all see the old one because the the interview the the girl who plays snow white gave Snowblanca snowblanca she said they never blanca changed the entire story now She's not gonna be rescued by a prince. She's gonna go right to the F. I said he just wants to be a strong, strong leader. Oh, she goes, I don't need a man to save me. No, no, she saves all the men are So it's gonna be the prince is gonna get the bite of the he's gonna write the title. Yeah, what is that? Is one thought that if you look at 20 years ago, like what's gonna be the dominant entertainment?

No way would it guess lifetime. Lifetime will have nailed it. It's just women at the top. It's just women at the top. Now lifetime nails in cheaply made bio picks that just spill the dirt. Do you know what I mean? I'm a big sucker for spill and dirt.

I love it. Did you guys hear that? Jaina Pinkett will Smith have been separated since 2016, seven months. So he- Is that a real thing? Is that a real thing? Yeah.

So he was just faking, leave my wife's name. That's what she says, but once again, Jaina Pinkett comes out and speaks for everybody before anyone gets a chance to retort. I don't know if he, in her book, she writes, like, yeah, we've actually been separated for, we just put on a good face and show up to things together

It's like really starting to grow on me. How you like it? Yeah, like it's trouble She's trouble for sure. She is trouble So she's still she's still pulling out of the of anything about fucking that guy's like we were separated like it doesn't matter and like saying for a year But he doesn't want to talk about it and they say they wouldn't talk about it But she just went and again by, just blasted it out there. She wants so bad to be in the news, but she's a woman and she's past 36. He's got to be hiding something because he's a homosexual.

And he sucks and puts Dixon's side of his button mouth. Who talk about will Jameson? Jameson. Jameson Smashing? Jameson. He's a official man. You know, it's so funny. Will Frid, I don't know if you heard this rumor. She looked at that picture, she looks like the mold

that's growing out of him. What's the... John, John Mayer and Andy Cohen are a couple. No. It's a rumor. They are saying that. They're saying that they're a couple. No.

A couple of what? A comics? No, they're a couple. They're in love with each other. And Paris Hilton made out with John Mayer. I believe that. And he said that he talked to a couple of the girls. And I guess John, this is allegedly, could when he had sex with his girls would have to play gay porn while they fucked. That's what Paris Hilton's just for the audio though. Yeah. Yeah.

I can believe John Mayer is okay. Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, whatever it is. It's a name, what's his name? Paris Hilton. Not Paris Hilton. Paris. That's a whole different story. It's a whole different thing.

Well, she said he definitely is gay. Wait, so what is Paris Hilton? I was taking it all in as Paris Hilton by the way. Yeah, that's Paris, Paris. Paris Hilton actually made out with, Paris Hilton by the way. Yeah, that's Perez Perez. Perez Hilton actually made out with Perez Hilton made out with it. And they they was at one. It was really big.

Was it on something? But when he checks that he didn't get hard enough for anybody to kiss one's big difference. Yeah, big, big difference. Well, he said he made out with the way he said it was a kind of a gag. Yeah, he's loved that shit. That's how they get a fucking take you in. John Mayer is a good looking guy.

He's a good looking guy. He's not damn it. He's a good looking man. He's a talent star too. Yeah, most of those guys, you know, go ahead. Masters, Dan O'Comedy, and no time. Don't you love it when you get bumped by a fucking musician down the cellar?

Oh, it's so lovely. The lack of respect they get for actual comedians. Like, let's get this amateur up here. A guy who's doing it for shits and giggles, is already a multi-millionaire. Get some fucking director who's trying this again and fucking bump you back. It's all the story of a thousand times.

A thousand times of the Bears repeating when David Tell was on stage. I love it. After being like pushed back, say, just learn that term Bears repeating. Go ahead, Bears repeating. Um, he was, you can keep the well smithing up Christine.

But he was on stage, or John Mayer was off stageith thing up Christine, but, uh, he was on stage, or John Mayer was off stage. He'd already went up earlier, which, he wasn't booked, so he just bumped the show back whatever. And it tells on stage and John Mayer came in to watch David tell, and it tells his bust in his balls. Yeah. And he goes, uh, and John Mayer goes, oh, come on, Dave, we're all comics here.

And it tells us, sort of, punching the piano keys and going REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE They got can't think that every what do they have a can think though the fucking They're robbans in can't think they're a railing they put railings and on stage It's just it's in the way in the way you can lean on a sort of but it's too far away at every You know where you enter in the cellar stage at the cellar go through the crowd and then right there Yeah, it's original The pussy cat has it the village on the ground has it The key rails are they keep rails? They keep rails Yeah, yeah, they keep the long does rails and now he's making this have rails and he doesn't even use them He doesn't use them. No, he just he's too prideful to use them because they put it on the wrong side

Shit major oversight guys. Sorry. Someone's got to eat shit on this one Well, we're not redoing it. Yeah, boss is enough. But to go, this was, yeah, she went on and spoke with Hoda as a clip I saw. And she's like, yeah, totally so, she just like takes the ball, man, and goes. Who never does that? Jada.

Jada Pinkett. He needs to be in the news, he does movies. He accomplished something. Not even more. She just gloms on. I mean, he's fine. He will be fine, I agree. What's he working on?

What's in pre-production right now for us? I don't agree. Nothing. He's gone, dude. His last movie, Tant. Oh, that might be a reason he's done, but that's like an Apple Plus movie. It was bound to be shitty.

Dude, it was about slaves. Yeah. Ooh, I'm interested. I think everybody's over the slave thing now, right? That doesn't come up no more. Well, I'm not really. I'm not a big or fish to fry now. I cannot go to a Will Smith movie and

Fall and lose myself in the character. Don't fuck. No, he's always gonna play a hero That's broken because he can't save humanity Yeah, I'm gonna say you're a fucking loon who hit a guy on stage. Yeah, yeah Chico's your step-brief. I still say you're a bigger bitch because you weren't even with her Chico's your separate. I still say bigger bitch cuz you weren't even with her. I still say After bitch nice judge come to you, Jacob Jesus Christ Down break it. Yeah, pussy I have to hire a widget just to calm you down. I won't take it back. Do you therapy? Me too? So I can get one here for about 400 bucks. Yeah, can we get a therapy?

Jacob one Third Just a midget that can sit in his lap and calm him down. I'm telling you, for me, for that situation, still the only lingering effect. I'd watch a Will Smith movie. If I had any interest in the movie, still, it wouldn't affect. It's Chris Rock, dude. To me, Chris Rock's the one that, in my eyes, can't recover.

It's nothing to do with his town or whatever, anything. It's just, I can't take his swinging dick on stage of confidence seriously at all. Because he took it. Yes. And the other special thing when it was like, you're a bitch, you're a bitch. Like, wait, it's been a year. It's not around. What would you have done, Ari, if you were Chris Rock and he came up and slapped you right in your face. Okay, what I would say, I think he goes back to his seat. Yeah, he's walking back like Mr. Jeffers.

And I go, ooh, I could, okay, and right there it shifts. Okay. Right there Chris Rock, try to make it a professional thing. It's like, let's go on, it's not about me here. I would take a shit on stage. Okay, I would pull my pants down and push one out and push hard. That'd be blood. There would be blood.

I'd honor the movies. I'd honor the movies. I'd honor the movies. Ha ha ha. You know what I would do. You have Eric, I'll restate your house and then you go and you throw up. It's just blood stains because he doesn't take care of his old Jewish asshole.

His old beat up Jewish asshole. It's the worst. It is the worst. I've walked into my room. You all right? He just opens the door and he just holds up a red piece of toilet paper. Sounds like me. It's a hot issue at you because no one else has ever done that. No, no, listen, it's like he's a prisoner of war all the time. I don't think Chris Rock is a bitch for not reacting

immediately. I get that and taking the hit and kind of like, yeah, I just got smacked by immediately. I get that. And taking the hit and kinda like, yo, I just got smacked by, none of that blows my mind or something that I think I'm better than or wouldn't have that way. To me, you have now a pretty decent moment where he just turns around and fixes his lapels and he's walking with his back to you.

I'm like, go kick his feet out from him. I'm not gonna jump. If you just went behind him and kick this feet, like embarrass him.. I'm like, go kick his fucking feet out from him. Munchy, she out. If you just went behind him and kick this feet, like embarrass him, like dude, like are you out of your, you know, something, security's going to break it up. You're not gonna be in a knockdown dragout. Most of the time.

The situation actually will come in. Even if you were though, a knockdown dragout fight will, you got your ass beat, you still win. No, of course. For sure, I'm saying Chris Rock is, he said in the special, he's a little guy, he doesn't really want to get into the fight. I get it, but let's do,

where's all that bitch talk two seconds later? If you're not going to do something physical, you have to at least be prepared, like, okay, I'm going to handle this like in a way it's going to really bother him too, because I'm going to keep talking from behind people, at least like something. He just went, okay, maybe I deserve that.

It's not red. You don went, okay, maybe I deserve that. It's really red. You don't think though, he composed himself, and then they were like, you can press charges, he was like, no, in his brain, he wasn't thinking, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna talk about this in jokes. People are gonna, I'm not gonna say anything. I'm not gonna say anything,

and people are all gonna watch my special, because they're gonna wait for me to say this. You don't think they was some type of... No, no, no, that was a year out. I do love that. He didn't do any interviews, he didn't talk about it anywhere. Well, I went to the meet-a-le, he was like, I wanna change my act because this guy's a fucking lunatic.

I wrote this whole show, I wanna do the show I wrote. Dude, the last 10 minutes was about that. Yeah, well that's, he's a poor, I mean, that was the first time you heard anything about it at all was his last ten minutes and it built up like he's gonna talk about it. He's gonna talk about it. And he. And he.

And then he did, he had a whole 10 minutes on that whole incident. It was, we were just from comedy, he was like, cause my mom taught me we don't fight in front of white people. And then I was like, had to rewatch especially, I'm like, wait, is this like not, it's not a callback?

What is this? What, no, this is a big thing. Don't fight in front of white people. Why? To lay them the mic down. By the way, the funniest reaction was when Chris Rock, everyone Chris Rock put the special out, Will Smith did, we'll Smith's comment.

It was like, I wish you would just let it die and like go away. It was the Oscars. It's the only time there's been a physical confrontation of the Oscars. Will Smith. I time there's been a physical confrontation with the Oscars I think it's because why is it still coming up because it's a once in a gazillion lifetimes experience? You didn't get to a fender bender. You didn't get to all your own podcasts. You fucking shut up, dude I wish we were going to go I bet you do wish you would go away

Because you fucking fuck they go Will Smith about the Oscars here we go And he won Yeah, he won he fucking won and he a. He saw to somebody my favorite thing is that one chick Right behind Will Smith when he sits back down and she's just like being real to so few little little real in Hollywood and she's like She's here just wide mouth wide-eyed right behind them. I'd rather have Will Smith money Yeah, and lose career moving forward then money then having the career stay steady and being slapped in that situation Like I'd rather have the world's view Be of me more will Smith than think was rocks in the situation

You're out of the I don you'd rather be a victim, dude. All you can feel for him is bad that that happened. That's just kind of what, that's what I'm saying. He's lost that ability to be like the motherfucker on stage because I'm like, I don't know. It was pacing back and forth like a tiger doesn't do it for you anymore. No, it doesn't.

Well, what was that? Really, his shoes he wore really took me out of the man. The trying to dress like a young Pete Davidson. Yeah, you see his outfit really. Oh, his little napkin in his back. The napkin pants attack. That's a trendy thing. Yeah, his shoes pick up.

Can you bring up his shoes with like, yeah, shoes I've ever seen. They're like white supremacy boots. Dude, they were fucking silly dumb shoes. I couldn't stop looking at him Yeah, it's just now This is a lifetime of him and Chappelle calling each other the greatest back and forth. Oh, they bring out a goat on stage an actual goat Yeah, it's just two guys looking. She really goes at you to gray you to great look at those great you to great

He's just like he's fucking intake it of psych ward It looks like it looks a smirk knocked him into heaven. Just... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We live it. It's four by six. Chris wants to dress as special as he's gonna see with the crossroads. He has 19 outfits hanging that he's not gonna wear. It's the end of the road. Yeah, why does he have all those outfits? He chose that. What do you, angels Salazar?

He didn't tell them ahead of time. I'm not thinking of wearing those. I want you wear the outfit. That outfit stinks. He's wearing Doc Martens. They're white Doc Martens. I'm gonna go with the white. the background. I hate whoever's made this design. I'm just not a fan.

Tag on the pants. It's just distracting. You have a fucking another Chris rock in the back. Well, it looks like a dirty strip club with all ass smudges on the back glass. Yeah. It's this guy. Yeah, dirty mirrors. Dirty strip club mirrors from wet Koochi. Yeah, also's this guy. Yeah, dirty mirrors. Yeah, dirty strip club mirrors from wet koochi. Yeah, also it's distracting that you see him in the background jumping through like fucking enter the dragon. Is a claw mark on his chest? Yeah, which one of these is a real meat? Who directed this?

That mirror thing was just like it's just distracting. I get sort of the idea of it, but all you're doing is looking at a reflection. Yeah, the shoes are just nuts though. They're high heel dark Martins. It was a drag. It was a cast. I am, D.B. It's just like, don't care. It was Judd Abitau.

Who produced that one? No, I don't know. He's joking. I don't know. I watched the, that was the thing I watched the pre-show. Yeah. Were you at my house for that jacket? Was that what? Yes, I was unbelievable. You watched the pre-show?

Where, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, It was the pre-show. Oh, yeah. Is there any video of that anywhere? Cause that's one of the funniest things. Leslie Jones is like, Fff, Chris Rock! Chris Rock!

So Chris Rock, when I was young, he said you're gonna be good. Chris Rock! What, kill more time? Okay, Chris Rock! So Chris Rock, when I was young, he said, you're gonna be good. Chris Rock! What, kill more time? Okay, Chris Rock! Chris Rock, doing comedy, inspiration, Chris Rock! There was an after show also, which was unbelievable, but I can't find it.

I think it was David Spade and somebody else, and it ended up being a very scenario conversation about race race and they just shut up and say anything. He was like Jay on cabin. Yeah. Joe Gowon. He was he's pretty legendary but I didn't

care for this one. I didn't care for the look of this one. He's legendary. He didn't do some mean directing before though. Yeah. He did some really good ones. No, I mean like mean like he's like.

You know like shitty to the talent that he's directing. Oh wait, my first step. I didn't curse down, but he was like pretty shitty to like Brian Moses when they were doing the, Oh yeah, I remember that. He was like, why are we doing this? We're like, dude, who the fuck is this?

It's Brian's show. Yeah, and he's like, Brian, just do what I said man. Like let's not do it. He's like, that kind of like shitty, that was him, I remember that. What a fucking day. One that was, yeah. Then the middle of What a fucking late one. That was yeah. And then middle of doing a show

and they have to break for what they're gonna have a commercial later. It's not live. And they're like, why don't we just keep going. We have a live audience here. Let's keep it going. And like, just wait there.

And he's like, all right, we'll get the way to do something. Get the crowd going. Brian, please quiet for a second. And it was like, I was just cutting his legs out. He was like, Brian, please. It was like that kind of just like,

it was like, I'm in business with Jeff Ross and you're my fucking lackey. You have to be here It was awkward. I was like, damn that doesn't look good. It's like you're cutting off the guys balls Who's supposed to be like the thing about Brian? He's like smooth and cool about the whole thing it was it was performing any Treat him like an asshole very sure the audience was very very strange for sure Joel Gallon sounds like what am I? Sounds like what am I? Oh, we got to take a break. We got to what a mind. Sounds like what a mind. Oh, we got to take a break. We got to take a break.

Oh my, we got to take a break everybody. One of the different things. Joel and a Yoel is 18 years old. Ari Shaffir will be at the Parks Casino in Ben Salem, Pennsylvania, where I used to live by the way. Denise Cantino was my girlfriend at the time. October 20th. And he's coming out.

October 21st. In November, he's going to be in the Midwest and catch him at the wrong side of history tour. Steve Redazzizi hilarious, by the way. Ryan O'Neill, very funny with dates in Kansas City, Minneapolis, Iowa, Chicago, Louisville, St. Louis Indian apolis again, Madison for tickets and all other dates visit reShafir.com and Big J of course is going to be at the Improv Washington DC this weekend October 12 to the 14 after that Phoenix in Francisco Philadelphia for tickets go to big J comedy.com and I'm going to be in Rochester, New York this weekend and at comedy on the call soon I'm going to comedy on state next weekend.

I'm all over the place. Robert Kelly Live.com. What are you going to say, Christine? They got deleted. I had all of Bobby's dates up and they got deleted. It's surprising. Oh, great. I'm sorry.

I'm going to lie down left. Maybe I was pushed out by the witch. Oh, the seems like a question. Oh, I guess Bobby's also got a special says down there way at the bottom. I do. My special is on PunchUp.live. For free right now, I'm gonna be putting new stuff up there very soon to go to punchup.live right now

and watch it for free. There you go. And we'll probably get a major soon. There's time on tap and. First time tap. Pound, pound. That's all right. We'll be back.

It's the bonfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates, coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates. Coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo