The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - This Isn't a Nudie Bar

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Jay spent the weekend in San Francisco and had  a wild, nudity-filled time at his shows!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Is this Rosalia? Singing it? I don't know if that's I just saw it SNL the other day so try to make everything Hispanic is Rosalia. You just call everything Hispanic Rosalia.

Yeah, that's Rosalia. You're like a baby Rosalia. Oh look it's Rosalia Bell. Rosalia. Yes, she was interesting to say the least Rosalia. It was odd. But this is an odd this is Monday, so you know we're live on the bonfire damn right faction talk Series XM 103 on big Joker's and that's Dan Soder. Hello

The gang's all here everyone. We got our DJ Lou Christine Murray Evans our black king the black tiger Louis Evans are black king the black tiger Lewis John So And all the way in flow rod and join his last few days Week One more week It's Jake the top back next Friday Ooh you hate it so much we started talking before the show because I noticed you were fresh faced, clean shaven, which I'm a beard Jacob guy,

but you're a handsome fellow. You could pull off either one, no prob. However, when I asked you about shaving it, I made a joke about why you would shave it. And then you said your sister asked you to shave it off because she doesn't like you with a beard. That brought up first for me a bunch of incest jokes, but dance face was just a simple like what? And then I got that. It was like your sister can do that. She could just tell you, yeah,ave your beard. I don't like it. I didn't feel pressure. I

I had trimmed it. I don't know. She's always been weird about beards and we were taking family photos and she doesn't. She says I look. That makes sense. That makes sense. It makes more sense that there's family photos, but it is still weird that she's not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, more sense. It's just weird. How did she ask? What if she There's family photos, but it is still weird that she's She went to a wedding. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, him? Oh, no, he's very important engineer Oh, he's a cop guy. Yeah, I don't mess with him. He could pull us off the air black loop Put your dick against the glass do nothing put your penis away black glue. No, there it is pulled out Do not put hang on he's still pulling it out almost almost to the head almost away there it is

Damn he had the cool that up like a garden hook You guys you guys were supposed to play the black loop pulling out his dick stinger. You should say. 15 seconds of audio. Don't that? Be back shortly. Why didn't you just simply tell her that you're a beard man now and that's what Pond Fire boys do and she could stick it? I like my beard actually. I can grow a good beard but the problem is lately I've been down on it because it's like all white now.

That's great. That's fucking cool. Now you do like your beard and your sister bullied you. Yeah. Did she pin you down with her arms under her legs? Is this the bigger than you Jacob? Be honest. What is what?

Is your sister bigger than you? No, my sister's a little tiny thing. But did she kick your ass when you were younger? If she flinched it, would you move? Jacob? If she moved it, you would you flinch? She's my young, much younger sister. And then what though, but she would fight your bullies for you? I'm trying to understand why she has to say. Was she like trained by your father to be a mercenary? Yeah. Does anything terrible happen to her from beards? I don't know. She's always had a thing about him. So every once in a while, I'll just shape for just to shut her up. Shut up. I'm doing because I felt I always look way younger

once I look. I'm going to tank top for my sister next time I see her. She likes me to tank top. She likes to see my contours. So I do it for her. Jay, Jay? Yeah. Turn, do a turn. That's the spin here. That's what happens when you get in your house.

Jay, do a flex for me. I got, man, my sister really says I should be wearing tighter jeans. Oh, yeah. Is that weird? She goes, Jay, I like when I can see the bulge. Yeah, and I'm like, I don't know,

this is weird and she goes, no, but we're taking pictures. Yeah. I want to see that outline of your dork. Yeah, my sister criticized my haircut, but it has to be through a Ouija board. Yeah. Why did she feel weird?

Did she feel weird when you took her to prom when you had a beard? You both think you're all that with your Spartan beards. Oh, yeah. It's impossible not to feel that way. Well, you're lucky. You're lucky our beard guy had the day off today. Yeah, we'd be tight right now.

We'd be cockled. We'd be peacocked. What's great is beard guy was gone. At the rest of the barbers, by the way, they jump in and they go, yeah, but we're good. And I went, I went, I'm, don't worry. I'll come back when I say is here again. One of the things.

Thanks for no thanks. Thanks. But you guys. Back to playing your Phil Collins. I Jacob, it's weird that your sister made you do it. She didn't make me do it. I guess I kind of wanted to. So it was just a catalyst because I felt it was white. But then I totally, I still made you. I super complimented Dan today because it almost made me feel bad that I shaved because I thought his beard was so on point today

I'm not gonna lie. It was the FaceTime angle. I really was Poppin out of shining He's got you cleaned up under here, but it all it doesn't matter cuz the way it hits the jawline pops This guy Isaiah is it hard. You're not wrong people this all day people assault down on the road We're right about like they goes netbeard fire I really have beloved anas. I want to read you something All right, this makes me like this was sent to my I'm gonna. I'm gonna learn how to take it in this was sent to my website I'm gonna learn how to take in something nice

This was immediately rejected. It's almost like the curious. Uh-oh. No, it didn't make me furious at all joking Is this it? Puppa, puppa, puppa. No, this one's all about how great I am. Nice. Where are you getting these messages at, dude? My website. I don't get messages to my website anymore.

Oh yeah, here we go. A company around the, and I'll do it. And I'll do it. And I'll do it. And I'll do it. And I'll do it. And I'll do it.

And I'll do it. And I'll do it. And I'll do birds one stone by me reading this right now. Yeah, it's from Jessica Antonelli and And this is my name is Jessica with a ae at the end Hmm, fuck is that My name is Jessica my husband's name is Jordan right? We've been best friends for 15 years dating five in our first wedding anniversary is coming up in April adorable

We listen to bonfire daily. This is sent to big J comedy dot com. Yeah Big J comedy dot com by the way big J comedy dot com where you can get tickets for all shows coming up Gonna be on tour with Bobby. Maybe you can he's gonna be a Fort Wayne Grand Rapids in Detroit with Bobby Kelly and Irish affair 24 through the 26th after that Ontario, California and Washington DC with Lewis J Gomez I found so for tickets another tour dates visit big J comedy calm Maybe send him a nice message. Oh, yeah, and she got dance soda. What do you need? Hollywood California. He's coming Hollywood Hollywood comedy store March 31st and then Cobb's comedy club where I was just at this weekend which god damn, dude Was that a good weekend? Yeah, that was fun. It was really good man. That's great. We're amped up Yeah, I'm excited to come back to the back of the day

So I got on stage and I said to him. I just been too long and they were they were going nuts They were great. Yeah, dude actually had an interesting thing in the audience that I'll be happy to tell you about in a moment Yeah, you can even skip over the nice stuff and just go right to the moment. Well, let me tell also, we can do the nice thing off here and I can go to the Kapalm. You're going to be in Rhode Island, Austin also. Get tickets if you can and all other tour dates if you head to dansoder.com. And Andy Fury stuff is still up there but DJ Liu went on Friday and said it was great. He killed it?

Yeah, Andy did great. Was everybody his family? Be honest. No, no. I'm joking. Big Jim and Big Jim was there? Yeah. I heard he was exclusively talking Buns and Basketball.

No shit. The whole time. He was there. He was talking about the, oh, he was probably a serious crowd there, a serious XM crowd, so it's probably best to let them know. I really appreciate that, Big Jim. You doing the Lord's the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the out of the I would say big Jim is more of a promoter, more of a...

Well, it's like a plantation thing, no? Right, like the buns and basketball girls, we were all big Jim, we went on the wear, like a boss hog suit and suit. Oh, white suit. Yeah, white suit, all white suit. And cowboy boots, big cigar. Big Jim McClure. Yeah.

Big Jimbo, and he only can call himself Jimbo in third person. Yes. Jimbo loves seeing the butts bounce up and down. The small phone over there, the girl with, I'm guessing wig on. There are no wigs in big Jim's butts in basketball. Big Jim, it's so cool that any any fewer the highlight any fury show is big gym Locking in I believe yeah, I think we can announce a date pretty soon funds and basketball coming to New York City April 2nd

They're gonna be oh April 2nd. They're gonna be in Houston, Texas That's a lot of lag time it's a lot of lag So I'm telling you, you don't want to get these girls late in the season when they're banged up either. What if you found out it was like the ABA and they were just in like buses going from Houston to Miami traveling together like the Globe trotters? Big, big skanks first, Matt and Shane's podcast.

Come up next week. We're on next Tuesday. How you feeling? I'm gonna say this on skanks tonight too, but I'll tell you that I'm gonna tell the guys. I'm telling you that I haven't said I'm gonna tell David Lewis like, you know what? I feel good.

I feel fine. I'll tell you why. All this shit talk the time went fast. Shane came twice. Tommy Pope came once. It was even gonna be Tommy Pope and McCusker came once. It's not been any better situation. But if you didn't realize that McCusker the whole time was just like, never stopped playing.

But also the super cardio thing, where he's got that mask on with like the wiffle balls and he's just running in a fucking damn dude. He's just running fast under water. Oh man, he's just running. And then just out late at night, he hit shots. I'm training in a personal pool. That would be just fucking worth it.

Run in his life. If we get run by McCusker, and then afterwards he goes by the way and fairness guys and he just shows this training video. You guys want to come here gather around. This was me for the last three weeks. Yeah, it's been a good time over there. Legion's getting check us out. It's Monday nights right after 8 p.m. right after Bonfire.

Mm-hmm. Last week a guy sucked his own dick on stage but came quite a thing. It was a thing. The club wasn't thrilled. It was theater. It was theater though. Wait, is that what they had to classify it as? I don't know, were they classified it, but they yelled at Lewis, not me, so that's cool. Dude, Lewis? I would have killed for recording of Lewis arguing why it's okay that a guy sucked his own dick in a fucking place with a liquor license.

No one said it was okay. Yeah. No one believed it would have possibly happened. And the guy was just like, I'll do it already. Isabella was there. I didn't want it to happen. Christine, yeah. Is Isabella the face of like?

Isabella was there. It went down. I'm telling you, is Isabella was there and the show, before the show started, Louis came outside. No, by the way, it was in the moment that that happened on stage. No one saw that coming.

A riff, that was a riff suck. On the fly. Guys happened on stage. No one saw that come a riff. That was a Riff suck on the fly Guys, I think I'm gonna get up and suck my own dick in front of this podcast. No, it was one of the one of the I suck your own dick contest going on. Oh No one pulled their dicks out in the video. They were all like they were funny videos They made and then this guy was like I could do it though and like he got on stage and did it But I said isabel was there, but the show, what I got- What was the reaction?

Was it a- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, is the bell's reaction? No, I mean, everyone. Jaw drop.

Jaw drop firm, like, almost a full minute. Everybody was like- Yeah, I'm hoping it worked out. No, no. You're stretching out, you're stretching out, and gotten his mouth. It was insane. I don't know if I've it yet guys guys is gonna blow

Not only was he not really big I mean maybe his dick was big, but not only was it not really big at the time It was soft it was soft. He sucked it soft and he stretched it out and got it and it was pretty nuts Anyway, I was saying though the night I tell you that makes me feel better than knowing it was rock hard I kind of would have been weirder that would have yeah the night started at 7 30 when Isabella showed up to someone to see her puppy and like You know hang you know sister weeks There's only a couple weeks. Yeah, uh is about home between her gigs, right so weeks. Yeah. Is about his home between her gigs, right? So Louis though comes out right away and gives me a run that we're arguing because he's like me and Dave are both like uncomfortable when his bell comes. We don't like it. He's like, but it's just like we're

dickering about it because I'm like, I hear you guys, but I'm like, she's not, she's an adult. She's legally allowed to be here. Sure. I'm like, so I don't, much I can really do. And it's also like, I get it, I get you guys are weirded up. But I'm like, at some point we're off to be like, she's a fucking adult. Yeah, I mean, technically, you know, did not think I was gonna suck a Zomdick, wasn't psyched about that.

That's such a funny thing to argue. But I'm saying, but we're arguing, and I was like, and I was like, I was like, all right, but they're there tonight. I'm like, all right, but I'll tell you about like, you know, you guys are weirded out. And like, let's just chill on come to Skanks for a while. And, and yeah, and fucking, we went in there

and then that happened. I was like, I was like, yeah, I guess. When you left, did you have to, even though she's over 18, did you have to have a conversation with your daughter? Was there that sitcom moment at the end, or you're like, sometimes, you're gonna go to a show and a guy's gonna suck his own dick in front of you.

And that's what life is. Sometimes is about life isn't just the normal happening. It's a guy who listens to your podcast being able to get his limp weiner into his own mouth, which is very impressive. That's a stretch arm strong move. So you're ready for this? He's in the last day. I thought we were past it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, that was kind of helpful. Well, this is for them also, I guess. But, uh, this is, we listen to Bonfire Daily, even repeat episodes. It's our go-to. Love me some Danny Soder. What's the weird thing? You're about to ask me for something.

Anyway, I'm reaching out because I want to go above and beyond for my husband's first wedding gift. I guess he's me and she's you. Okay. She's all about dance odor. Yeah. And that's how they came together, I like to believe. Yes.

That's great. Great pairing. She's got them physical gifts, but she started thinking it would be cooler than trying to get a shout out during a show. So it's sort of happening. But it's mostly because in the middle of a letter asking me for something. Sure. You just informed me that you loved Annie Soats.

I assumed you said you loved Annie Soats. I assumed you said you loved the bonfire. She didn't point out you personally, Lou. Even you, Christine. It's dead. Maybe Christine's done. Oh, shit. That beard.

I created a monster. My God. I don't know. Anyway, they were getting a shout out to Jessica and Jordan for their one-year anniversary being best friends for 15. do you think they're ugly? No, but also you made it sound like it was gonna be this big thing and all she said was simply I love me some Danny so she was just acknowledging my existence on the show

I really like if somebody said they love Legion of Skanks and was like love love you love Lewis and Dave it's not weird at all No, that was the nodded all that I was expecting. Yeah, I thought it was like a love letter about Dan That was a brief And Jay's like can you fucking stomach this? That's hilarious Yeah, that was so funny I was genuinely love like I was I don't know

I'm rubbing up on you too much I'm a Jesus psycho. I'm rubbing up on you too much. I'm a Jesus psycho. I'm rubbing up on you dude. But that's crazy. The well-being news is congrats to them. Yeah, absolutely. Jessica enjoyed. Huge congratulations to them.

And thank you for listening. We love you guys. Happy anniversary. Happy birthday. Happy all. I like you guys. Jordan, you guys. Good job.

You guys love Dan so much. I'll be over here fucking myself. Dude, I love Dan. I got the shout out done now. You don't have to. shout out done. I love it. Someone being like hey blocked you being like hey, I love that That show you do I love a bonfire with you a dance owner love that show He's like, yes, I wouldn't shut the fuck up about you That's fucking crazy. Drowning on and on.

Oh my god. So apparently my uncle went and saw Gary Goldman and just the whole time told him how much he loved Jay. That's funny. That's so funny. Yeah. They thought he was relating. Yeah, we've all gone through that.

Oh my god. It's funny. It is funny. After shows, you talk to somebody and they tell you where you're at and their list of favorite comics is the best. You are fourth. Dude. It's better when they don't even go to the list Monkey wrench, too. It's always like all right number ones like Patrice You know, I mean a big number two Colin Quinn bitch fatel Just like something all at the middle of that

Dude I was in Indianapolis I was an Indianapolis in the sound Sound Guy. I think Vitor and I were walking in the club, and the Sound Guy was like best to comics work in right now, Theo Vaughan and Andrew Schultz. That was like, I told me that, I was like, I'm sorry for the Sound Guy. Yeah, and you're like, cool. I don't know why you led with that. It wasn't like we were having a conversation about comedy.

He was just like, here's my top two. I stayed at a comics work right now. He just straight up. Not you. That's what I let you know. What everything you're gonna do up there? I'm not gonna impress me. The best two comics working right now.

Charlotte main the god and TI. Yeah, TI number one. Oh my God, dude. That's TI at Skankfest. Dude, that would a great drop in. Hell yeah. That would be a phenomenal. I sure could.

Just could do. Can you please come and just do that? What you know about that? In Vegas? No, dude. But then you're gonna ask him to perform and that's gonna get would be a phenomenon. You just could do. Can you please come and just do that? In Vegas? No, dude, I'm gonna ask him to perform and that's gonna get where it gets weird. It's gonna happen to you the jam. Do the jam, dude.

Good move. Hey, hey, what you doing? Come on to a rock song. You know what, that. Or a Beatles song. Yeah, something just out of the field. Yeah, so I'm gonna do Harry Chapin. And not even Kat's in the cradle.

I'm doing taxi. No one knows taxi. Our opening song today, by the way, I was a pick of Black Lou, it was from a Disney tune because, well, I don't know. I guess he's becoming a chick or something. What Disney movies have?

It's got a kid now. I think when you start taking paternity leaves, you start becoming motherly. Yeah, well, you know, he's got a baby. He's a tased nursing baby. What movie's that from? It's from in Conto. I've been forced to watch it every day for.

Oh, all right. You've been programmed. That song is, is the one in the country right now. It's hot. Yeah, you think it's number one song in the country in the pop charts? Yeah, because they just,

they play it for little kids and they, they send, there's messages underneath it. It's propaganda. They lure them in with that. I don't know if you knew that. Hey little girl. What are you listening to on Conto music? If you break down the music under it goes, steel, steel your parents money. Yes. Give it even. Come to me. The government is your parents. Um, how is me is your God. When I left Wednesday, I said, me and Christine, we're going to go on a pedophile hunt. We didn't. You're Christine. I love it. It's like you guys going out. You go, we got plans. We're going to get lunch. Christine and I are going on a pedophile hunt. Yeah. Day nine. Day nine. Christine put it something you can run in. We're going to harass a man.

We're gonna harass a man. That was the fuck, Jill. Chris. Chris, you're shoes on. Different shoes, Chris. No, not those shoes. Not those shoes. No, not the knit shoes. This guy could pop it any moment.

I need you to be able to go run east to west, not just north to south. Yeah, get on the cross-trainer. I need you fucking pivoting. He does LA years on. This guy drops his hip and shakes you. I'ma be pretty pissed. So this is a small clip of the hunt

that I mean Christine would have gone on. If we could, it was just too far away. It was like to have like Tom's River, New Jersey. But at eight minutes into this hour and a half thing where they do get in with his mother again, I recommend that it was a good one. But at eight minutes in, I'd like you to hear, it's somewhere in the next like 30 seconds. This is where you, but this is the guy that you know.

Oh, yeah. This is, and this would have been the hunt that you're in Christine would have been out on date night. Yeah. So you guys, so if we can set it up, if you would have gone, you would have maybe been standing around, or would you have been in the car or maybe snacking on something, watching out of the stand in that point, you you would you would want to be with the guy? No, I want to be Ten yard ten fifteen yards from the guy so you don't know if you're with the guy or you're just an on-looker on looker smoking a cigarette

Lots of cigarettes. Yeah, dude. I want to be crushing them. I would imagine pedophile hunting is like that's like up there with Drinking for smoking cigarettes. Yeah, just want to speak. So you want to smoke. Yeah, oh, did I quit for like two months? Then I pedophile hunt is right back. Right back smoking pack a day. God damn listen, what this guy just brings up. Of course, I never I never thought about doing local pedophile hunts and how this might

happen. Well, eight o'clock. It's eight minutes in. We're going to tweet the video out at the bond fire, SXM on Twitter. And this man looks like Uncle Fester with glasses on. Yes. He's just looking out for them.

Maybe like a little crush. A little bit. Yeah, okay. So that's our, you're trying to say mentors, children and how old are you? That's probably got to be a go to for pedophiles. Saying they're in the mentor game. Oh, oh, that's the go-to

Yeah, I was just gonna tell them like you shouldn't do this Like can't be friends. Yeah, dude. I live in my mom, but I'm gonna tell you what to do. I can't be friends. Oh, I'm sorry I can't mold the youth. They had a guy I was they were showing the text from yesterday He was like 30 talking to an eight-year-old girl and the a don't even adult I guess adult But like adult like style manipulation. He was doing kit. Forget even like the meeting up and stuff. Yeah, it gets to that. It was like, Hello, if you're not gonna run me back for like 15 minutes, can you at least like say that? I'm done. I think I'm gonna block you and then it coming back like hello dude when you're more immature than the fake child that you're sexually text.

It was wild. It was pretty crazy. The guy was like, well, you know what? This is why I never get what I want. Like, you want semi-pictures? I asked for them. So it's like, goodbye, goodbye forever. Did you have a little kid being like, a guy? And then they'll be like, I like you.

Fine. And he's like, I love you, baby. Would you be my little girlfriend? It's so fucking crazy. Jesus. All right, well, this is, this is not that guy. All right. This is not that guy.

This is different. Just listen though Okay, so for 13 years you've been talking to under his kids like being a mentor. Yeah, yeah, nothing really inappropriate Right, right now if you see inappropriate stuff there This is cuz no you shouldn't have cut him off. I want to know what the excuse was Okay, okay. So that's just because, no, you shouldn't have cut him off. I want to know what the excuse was. And being like, you see inappropriate stuff there? I can't tell you, that's an associate of mine.

That's a different guy? No, no, this guy particularly, it's really funny. That's really good, because when he keeps going, every time he goes, yeah, but you did say something sexual right here, like a mentor and he's like, yeah, well, that's like my mental problem. Like I am mentally challenged. If you were here, if you were on this hunt, would you be saying anything? Would you be interjecting or

would you just be observing? I think I'll just be observing. So I'll tell you what, again, there is a difference when you're like, here's like, here's the thing. thing like I've when those be heading videos first came out I watched one And I was like I wish I wouldn't have watched that yeah, but it hasn't Changed the course of my life and because there's so something about seeing it It was harsh because you know it's real it was real But like you're still watching it like a third party not I feel that way about that lady They got blown up by the train when I watched it when I was 12. Yeah, exactly. It's like you're watching it like a third party not. I feel that way about that lady. They got blown up by the train when I watched it when I was 12. Yeah, exactly.

It's like you're watching it. So it doesn't like change your life. You watch it. I think what I'm just gonna tell you just that guy, what it's like did like not did to me, but I mean like how I thought about that, that guy running around in the car in the Walmart parking lot.

Yeah. I'm like, that guy was running for his life. It was very interesting to see and like, intense to see a guy running for what he thought was his life, the rest of his life. Being in jail or not. He's gonna be exposed having a- I think standing there.

It's just because when I just watched him, when I went to when he walked up to the house which was the wrong address, I really got him like, oh, dude, this is about the fucking, like he's about to say, hey, are you so and so? I need to talk to you about these messages. And I was like, oh, fuck, it was like, it was so different than, I mean,

I played solitaire while I watch these. And you're like, oh, that's gross. Now if you were trying to fucking eight, you're all, it's like a little more disconnected. Yeah. So when I'm there, I bet I would have been like, so that'd be, I would have been jaw open a lot like, whoa, man.

So watching this, if you would have gone on this, if you and Christine would have gone on this if you and Christine were to go on on date night on this well I think here I would have you would have been doing would you have been like hell is yelling shit at him pull your dick out get hard you just immediately want to call the cops right or like how fast can we get the cops here to get the chill we got to get the footage I mean as long as as long as that's kind of like the endgame of it I don't mind the playing part of it,

but it's just like, you're like, this guy's trying to fuck a kid, dude. Like the cops are coming, right? Like we're not fucking this up. No, most of them get arrested. Good. Like a very hyper-centred of them. He calls it out.

He's not sick. By the way, his cop call the cops code is a fuck of the fraud pickles thing. But he like, that's like his merch because that's how often they like, yeah, almost everybody they call a cop. Because he's finally got a catchphr pickles. Yeah. But he like, that's like his merch because that's how often they like, yeah, almost everybody they call it cause he's finally got a catchphrase. Yeah. I bet he was shopping them for so long.

It's such a fun. He's like, he's like, I want to sell some hoodies that say, stay out of tiny holes. But if you call the cops right away, sell those. So I think we're going to have to try to find a catchphrase. There's something nice saying. There's a pot. There's a lift for every pot. Now I shouldn't put that in here.

Zip and pervert, wait, no. This guy really is great because he's like, no, no, no, like 11's wage too young, but 13, like that's the right. Right, like so. He gets it out of them, like he just goes. Oh, buddy, he goes, he goes, look, I think consent laws are bullshit, but laws are laws, you know what I mean?

14 year olds could be soldiers in Africa, so. He's like, I'm with look, I think consent laws are bullshit, but laws are laws. You know, he's like, I mean, 14 year olds could be soldiers in Africa, so. He's like, I'm with you, but I gotta just have to go over these text messages with you. And he gets them like being like, I should get it, right? Drop their guard. Yeah, but if he called the cops right away.

Those diamonds are fine. Those kids should be mining them. Dully, but you won't get gems like this coming up here in a second. Who's it meant if you don't, well, yeah, there's more. You'll know the parts that I'm talking about. It's coming out. Yeah.

You've started talking to other HK. Oh, wait, because like I said, my mental... I have like, you need this order. I'm in the adult. You know, anger management. Right. Yeah, don't listen to all that noise. It's like Basically we're New Jersey even Eagles fan. Oh, I'm huge. I was out here

I had on now, but I had Eagle stuff at home. Okay. I got a bunch of I've been you I was a see I was a born you know fan I've been you know fans as I was I say 22 My original I was I say 22 Yeah, my original my original Team was the giant Yeah You guys were he was born in you guys you guys turn him into a pervert Good job

Yeah, you don't want you mother fuckers for 21 22 years now He's been an Eagles fan he says yeah, and when you just said that I was like oh I never even thought about that you go local and the guy like as your same love and interest oh man He just goes like this is our dog cuz by the way we're bad around bringing Dawkins with us and it's hot And we're just gonna go to you're gonna smell perverts It's just like a part for the pervert to look over and go when we go Dawkins come here and he goes Dawkins be Doc Be Doc yeah dude we have're next and I got to go Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, I got to give them that you can't not it is great name If you see a monster getting pulled away and he just goes go sixers man all the way this year and I go yeah, dude

I mean I keep your head up in there man. Should have killed that girl, but also fucking go sixers go sixers though 1098 But also fucking go sixers go sixers 1098 Got to do something and this has changed Through time with me, but the female in the answer for the sixers. I think I love her She's great. What when she's calling the games? Yes. She goes every time Like if him be goes on a run, she goes, joow, hawns, Embed! Which calls him by his full name, like a mom. Oh, it's great.

You love mommy announcer. And then, and then went to her, she kind of cut the catch phrase when there's like 30 seconds left. Yeah. Or whatever, and there's like a, you know, we've clearly won. There's no chance. She goes, oh, it's almost time to start the music. And then she gets it hyped up every time on TV. Yeah. Is she in the arena or only on TV? Yeah. She's in the arena. Oh, yeah. But you can hear it on TV. You, that's

what I'm saying. She says that as color comment here on TV. She does a TV audience time to start that music. Oh I thought she was in the arena over the over the p.s No, it's not cool. Yeah, it's my good friend. That's your buddy that should have you ring the bell next game Right, I mean probably I'm in a way to the playoffs. Would that be? The biggest moment in your life. All right, I got one. Would you rather ring the bell at a six years playoff game or in studio Howard Stern? Oh, in studio Howard Stern.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But it's a tough one. That could actually be a life changer. Yeah, you know, I mean, but. Ring that bell could be to the beat or be like, who's that dude ring the bell? It's like, he has money in favorite comics. You know what I mean, but. Right, and that bell could be to the, I will be to be like, who's that dude ring the bell? It's like, he has my new favorite comic.

I'll tell you what, I'm gonna look like when we got Dawkins, the first time, you know this, is a dog I guess now, it was funny like that when the different surfaces, like she wouldn't walk on, she'd like stop herself before she went on tiles from carpet or something.

Yeah. And stepping on the floor, the sixers floor, I'll definitely be staying on the edge like, like dipping my foot into it. Like, whoa, is this it? Am I by the walk on the fucking sixers court? Yeah, I'd be psyched. That'd be cool.

Childish, childlike. Yeah, I get it when the Niners beat the Packers at Levi's. It's Levi's. It's not, it's like it's Candles, but it's Levi's. Mauritano's wife was like, I think I could sneak you on the field. And I was like, what's Levi's it's not it's like it's can't see but it's Levi's McDaniel's wife was like I think I could sneak you on the field and I was like let's fucking do it And she was like just stand by me and Mike's mom like walk with Mike's mom So I just like was like me and Donna just walked a bunch of confetti from the bottom into the cup And I was like oh fuck fuck fuck fuck and I saw my Daniel

It was crazy. It was probably it was easily the coolest moment I've ever had as a fan I mean, I hold my grandmother and she gave me bupkiss. I was gonna open it up great I was gonna open for Aunt Mary Pat and the love master Like in financial just so I can step foot on that for you Yeah, but if you went on the court to ring the bell I was thinking about becoming a gay dancer so I could be a bouchier leader. I saw me too. I say join one of those groups locally in Philadelphia I'll have you a half time. I could sass it up. Oh, yeah I was watching a half time when you watch the games on league pass on the road, like they show you everything,

they don't go to commercials because they're not sponsored by anything. It's the end, you're paying the NBA. So they show you the in-house stuff. Like the guys trying to shoot, you know, kid and the kids playing, and the half-time show. When they bring out, it wasn't a half-time show. I think it was a timeout, TV timeout,

but they bring out, they're always got some name. It's like the geriatric twirlers. Oh, I love it was a timeout, TV timeout, but they bring out, they're always got some name. It's like the geriatric twerollers. Oh, I love it. And when they have like- Sent the end, this spinner is. Fucking old people coming out and dancing to modern music. Yeah. Is the saddest thing.

You're parading them to fucking zoo animals. Yeah, like you pass a shit to an end- And they're your old people. An edited wet ass pussy. And it's just like a mom dancing. You're not wrong. Dan, you're nailing it. Nair your old people and edited wet ass pussy and it's just like a mom dancing Dan you're nailing it get that Mac truck inside this time of garage I have osteoporosis bring up elderly dance teams like NBA games Yeah, they don't they they have the like cities have them that come out of game

They're the dogs chasing frisbee's of the NBA When you go to an NFL game they always have a fucking dog that can just run down. Do you have a love watching stadiums go up and down with dogs at halftime when they bring the dog on the field and they chase like the Frisbee over the field and whoever's in the seats is like, I love it. I got so hyped for Frisbee dogs and NFL games. They got a new thing. Now when they come out with the fucking T-shirt, Tommy guns and cannons. So they have some people running around shooting with the hand cannons.

They got those big fucking dumpster-looking things. They shoot at a bunch of it's time. Our weaponry. They have Lockheed Martin just developing new shit. It's pure chaos. And then there's super jacked black dudes just doing break dancing on the floor like head twirls and shits, it's chaos.

Dude, yeah, we gotta get you on one of these senior dance team. Oh my god. And guess what? They were humiliating themselves. Dicks have the boundaries of age. Are they sponsored by ARP? They're sponsored by ARP. Oh my god.

They might as well do prunes or whatever that weird yogurt the Jamie Lee Curtis hocks. They're humiliating themselves. They're doing fucking bad wedding dancers. This is like when people do a coke off the ground where it spills. You're like, look at yourself. Look at you. What are you trying to get at it? Look what you've done.

Look at your at. Maybe I'm just joking. Don't want to be on one. Please. You think I could join you? You know you want to be on your dance team. More than anything. Yeah.

Yes. Dude, look at this. There's one black guy in the whole group busting it open He's like I come for the pussy Yeah, you know I'm here. I am fucking I tell you every day I dance stays fucking I stay in one of these old bitches house every night for sure Just a young a young Latin guy that's like I Won't come on a boy for Did they dude that guy is crushing ass. For sure.

Is that the only one? The watch, there's older. There's older, there's older. There's ones where there's a lot of guys and it just looks like this is there instead of walking around the mall. Today they just decided to do this. They got invited to the Miami Heat Game.

Yeah, look at that, there's a guy, you could be in that. I don't wanna to why are these so fucking what's all my amy with those fucking tan vany legs Dude uncle Luke would be so cool if it was just all old people dancing the fucking Fucking old moms bustin it out Fuck yeah Good Lord We take our first break Yeah, stick our first right me back with that fucking personal trainer. Oh, yeah, his wife

I almost got oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah Oh, can I tell you by 40 a break? I should tell you what happened at my show this weekend? Yeah, that's love. You'll love this. This is so funny and the people listening live that were there know exactly already what I'm gonna tell you. No, you already know what I'm gonna tell you.

Friday, late show. I get on stage, great show, fun, crowd. It's mad. Two girls in the front row obliterated, hammered. What's the seating like that? I've never done cops. Is that like theater seating or is it tables? It's tables.

Okay, it's tables. It was good, is about. So these girls, sitting in the front row, once 24. Yeah. Good body, cute chick, huge tits, wearing a half top, where the bottom of her tits are hanging out. She's with another lady who's a big fan of ours, I think 42 years old, sweet heart, 42

years old. Next to this girl, those titties are basically hanging out. I acknowledge her titties are hanging out. Yes, yes. I acknowledge her titties are hanging out. I acknowledge her titties wrong. Are hanging out. Yes. Yes. I acknowledge her titties are hanging out. She then proceeds for the ret 40 minutes. If I look in her direction at all, she just pulls them both out.

And people next to me are seeing this on either side or loving it. A lot of dudes there. She's just like, what's up? No, she's wearing this loose half top. So every time he looked over, she's drunk. She's going to get, she was like, no, I wonder, I was like, lift him up and like, there they are again.

And I'm like, miss, I never thought I'd say this in my life, I go, but it's so distracting. Please put your toe in. She just kept doing it. But it was fine. I just played off of it and it was fine. Sure. The optics of this look so bad.

Because walking, they're just talking to each other a lot and they're enjoying the show, but they're just obliterated. I get it. You know what I mean? They have to go. They don't realize the club is like they got to go. Yeah. And they're coming over to now it's a long trek to get to the front row. You got to basically walk all around the club and down the middle. And while that's happening, I was like, well, it's cool. You're 42. You bring this young 24 year old around to show where tits probably get you everywhere.

I go, you don't show your tits. And then she goes, I don't know. And she leans back and the young girl and her collectively work together to pull up. Oh, my God, you can already see right there, Dan. The issue, there's issues. But she pulls her shirt up and her titties come out. And at that time someone taps on their shoulder and be like, ladies, you got to go. And I was like,

guys, this looks so bad. It looks like you're like, oh, not those titties. No, no, no. Oh, no, your titties got you kicked out of the venue. I mean, yeah, that is crazy. It's crazy. But uh, yeah, that is. That's a big beauty. Uh, but dude, that other lady just drop it or tits out and everyone be like, eee, I gotta go. That has to be a thing where you wake up the next day and you're like, what the fuck? It happens. I don't know if it's what happened, but it reads like to her. It reads that her titties got them kicked out. She's like, what happened? Am I winning so big, J.A.V.G.

You shouldn't be tits, gotta send home. I mean, and then they were arguing for their money back, but they were there until like three minutes of show left. Yeah, it sucks. But then that picture, by the way, when I came outside, whatever, 20 some minutes later, it was funny, it was in the green room, you can kind of hear outside through the window. And I kept hearing people cheering real big, and I was making a joke though, like, Titty girls are probably still outside. Then I went outside like 20-some

minutes later. Titty girls were still outside, but that was also after they've already almost fought with the management, not management, like security, about wanting their money back, and then taking a picture respectively with everyone that was outside with their titties out. It was baffling behavior. Yeah, that is a lot of flashing. They might as well have not worn shirts. I guess the poor older one, poor titties at one and got you got him both ejected it looked like now she just has to do the fucking

The double fingers is pointing at her being like not me That's not my game exactly Is Abella and her and roommate and her roommate have just shown up. Yana, she's black, we're pretty woke. Uh, just so you guys know, that's black Lou also. Just case you guys are wondering at home. Black Yana, that's black Lou. You guys play.

We'll be right back everybody. It's the bottom fire. you