The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Thriller (feat. Dave Landau)

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

The guys believe they can dance just like Michael Jackson's Thriller.

James Franco accused his sexual harassment. If James Franco asked his sexually harassed to get busied, then I better learn how to fucking a ski mask. You know what I mean? This is Big J. O'Crossin and my new special dog, Belly Life from Skankfest, out now on YouTube. Scott Pope, Big J. O'Crossin!

And now, the Bonfire, with Big J. O'Cerson and Robert Kelly. Take me down with Robert Down the Moon. I know you like to move your body. Hey, you got me loose in my mind. My heart beats out of time. I'm seeing how the world starts. You're strong and lucky, they are tough. It's my soul. It's up everybody. Welcome to the show. It's the bonfire on Sirius XM Fraction Top.

And I'm with Big Jai Okasin who is moving like a... I took my body. Just a beautiful young dancer. I mean, you got moves. Christine, how do I feel about my body? I know you like to move your body. Did you see Jacob? Did you see Jacob? Oh, me and Jacob together could

fuck up a dance floor. I'm not sure. Jacob's got, I mean, he keeps it contained. I'm tucked in Wednesdays of all days too. This guy can get down in those camps. He's contained, but it's a lot in that little containment. I hate to say this to you, Bobby, because I know you're anti-Semitic,

but me, I think the rhythm in the room has something to do with our Judaism. It's there are rhythmic people for sure. Yeah, you're right about both of those things. Yeah. And I'm glad you apologized. We're very rhythmic people, Jacob. Probably the best answers in the room.

Christine's gonna argue that, but I promise you, I dance way better than Christine. And drummers. It's from that party you guys get when you're a kid. What's that thing called? A bar mitzvah. You know what it was called. You just did that to be anti-Semitic. It's the guy.

You know exactly what it's called. So when someone goes, with the little hat thing, you know what the fuck it's called. So when someone still goes, with the little hat thing, you know what the fuck it's called by now? When you get your thing ripped off by a guy with a beard, what's that thing called? There's a thousand channels on cable. You've heard of a Yamaka before. You probably even know it's spelled Yarmol-Key.

Yarmol-Key. It's spelled so wrong. Oh, that song is still in my soul. Turn it up, Blue. I mean, I can't. Get it back in me. Oh, that's not good. That song is still in my soul. Yeah, turn it up, Blue. I mean, I can't. Get it back in me. Oh. You know this is from, this was with the first everyone,

or Flashmob's word thing, people choreograph a crazy thing. Yeah. This was one of the first ones where a Domino's pizza guy shows up and they take it, put it on, Kristi. It's worth it, we'll put it out on the thing. We'll describe it. It's so funny and so well. It's like, you know, an over-the-top production for a complete stranger. I love songs like this when it all stops Yeah, and then it kicks back in

You're gonna do the top one top one top one. This is so great in turn this up There's a dude. What is this? It's a that's a pretty rich house by the way. Oh, oh, it's no It's a the grounds are nice because they have to do a lot here, but this is so good. There's a domino's piece of guy going to a very big... What? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- This is the young boy dressed like Ernie and Bert. Ernie and Bert? Ernie and Bert? Ernie and Bert? Like a bunch. But when this is over, I think this is like a 100 person

production. Look at the doll in the kids' face. The doll in those guys has no idea what's going on, but he's loving it. Yeah, he can't, he's just standing looking forward. Everyone's a professional. Ha, ha, ha. I'm'm gonna take him to the backyard. You think it's already you've seen the most of it. A full chorus of children. There's 20

children dancing choreographed. And he's got this this black nerd is like leading him through the whole thing. Now they go into the backyard. Look how happened with the dominoes guy. guy is skipping. He's into it. There's by the way a covered pool. I think I didn't go through that pool by the way. I was not close that was. Look they have other pizzas already that spell out. They spell I couldn't see what it said. There's people on a tennis court. Everybody in different colors. How funny is this? I don't know as maybe laughs the song so lovely Wow, you see that dancer not all the people in the same shape. Let's put it that way. I think by the way I

That girl's a big girl. Oh, by the look at this now themed outfits About of ballerinas that little mushrooms Mushroom No pizza too. No the pizzas. Peppermost pizza. Sorry. It's adorable.

Maybe they're mushroom pizzas. Maybe we're both right. I think so. The pizza guy by the way. No idea where he's supposed to be going. It's probably late delivering other pizzas. He's going to cost him 75 bucks. You're fired Roderie guys.

Yeah. No I swore to God there was a thousand person. Now he's going back out, I swore to God. There was a thousand person. Now, he's back out of the front of the house. The whole neighborhood's out. Way more ballerinas than there were before. He gets fired. There was a black guy. And then these little pizza ballerinas

were spinning around. Wow. And then the big was that what happened? Or were you fucking drinking on the job again? I Swart of God Mushroom pizza and watch they all just vanish and he just ends up closing the door and it's all over He closed the door whole streets empty except for a pizza guy And he didn't they didn't even tip him looking at my money Everyone's gone. Where's my money you sissy dancer? That's one of my favorite things in the world.

He did a bunch of, he'd been doing like, in stores and stuff, but that was the first one I ever saw and I really tickled me. Can I say something? You know how I'd give it feel something like, if you were to be anything else? I think I was supposed to be a dancer. Hey, I do it, I'm not kidding.

I think I was supposed to be like, any way inside of me like that. You think that's what I feel about myself also? That's what I feel about myself. You are rhythmless, Christine. I've never seen Christine dance. No, just a middle eastern. You're gonna fossy style.

You're a little shit. Little symbols on her fingers, you can dance. No, because that's what I was about. She was a little pudge when she was younger and they put her in sparkly stuff and she thought she could fossy dance. Tell them the name of your group, Christine. Dazzlers. No, wait. It was lower name of your group, Christine. Dazzlers.

No, it was longer than that, right? It was the dazzlers. Somewhere. The redonda beach dazzlers dance team. I'm a dancer. If we grow on that team, have little fat boobs before they have puberty. There'd be like one girl that could actually dance

that the instructor would like work with and favor over all of us And then we just do stupid little fucking fat girl Everybody else hey fatso just roll around behind her on the floor. Hey fatso's catch the talented one Throw up in the air not too hard you tubs a shit I don't want to go on through a ceiling fan god damn it throw her up a decent amount let her do a split Yeah, don't use all your strength don't don't break her shin bone again man that's gonna be a fun it's not christine's experience but like do you miss it making the the dazzler she's asking do you miss the dazzler specifically no do you miss dancing i do it's something where

i'm like yeah i really would have fun taking like a dance class because when i used to go to crunch fitness i would kind of keep up because they would have dance classes and I'd go every once in a while. You'd be outside You'd be outside in the freeway mimicking what they do But yeah, I like miss dance classes Christine, do you remember any of your dazzleurs dances? Don't lie and say you don't if you do I bet you sort of remember one I remember one that we did to you know That we're tiny we're tuning. We're all a little loony. Yeah, yeah, there was a dance that we did

Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I'm not doing it. Why would you not do it? Come on? I don't want to I do my talent on the show I tried to do my talents. You say you're a good dancer Unless you dance and then I will do it with you. How about that? No? Why for the love of God Christine do this? For the love of everybody listening please dance right? No, it was just like it went like down like you pushed your hands down Nothing like that because you might love this body Christine

High as hell at rage against the machine And you know in killing the name of some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses and Christine. I was just watching. I like when Christine like gets loosens up, loosens up and you just see I'm like, oh look they're having like a good time. And she was just in front of me. And I think Josh and she would just go, she pointed at some of those that work forces. She goes, are the same that burn crosses and she crossed her arms up in the front and a little point down on the side. I'm gonna throw up.

It, I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up. It made me laugh. It was so sweet. She was sweating profusely. She was having a absolute blast, but I assume, We may have pushed her to the front of that show.

But I assume the Razzler dazzlers had a little more complex moves than that. Yeah. So Christine, if you would please, I see the beginning involves a little bit of a pushing down, as you said. Yeah, no, that's a lot. Which is your move. I don't know anything.

You're lying. It's in you. It's in you. This is your shot. Why are you not like that dancer out of you? Because I, because doing anything in front of you is terrifying. What? I'm not a great dancer.

Sure. I'm pretty fantastic, but I mean, I'm not a great dancer. No, I'm not a good dancer at all'm pretty fantastic, but I mean I'm not a great No, I'm not a good dancer at all. You never forget how to groove you never forget You're on the show me and Jacob will do it after you to show people how's done right? I say that's all I remember I said you push down you push up and goes we're tiny we're too neat, and that's all I remember I did a lot of drugs guys I don't remember the complete thriller choreography. So yeah, good. All of it?

Yeah, go ahead, do it. I don't remember all of it, I'm lying, it was a bluff, but I remember some of it. Let's see it. Which part you wanna see? I wanna see it. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. You wanna see the, like what he does that?

Yeah. And then they turn around this way and start doing it like this. Or the part when he turns it aside and slides up like that. Yeah. And then they turn around this way and start doing it like this. Yeah. Or the partner he turns to the side and slides up like that. Yeah, that's just like this. And then go and then slides it over this way and lift up like that.

And then they come forward like this. Come on, dude. The only thing I can't do, especially in these boots, is the knee twisty thing. To this day, one of my favorite things in all of dance. When Michael Jackson does the in place knee thing you know I'm talking about yeah, thank you to the anything Show on video bring a video up a bit. I'm not asking you to get out of your chair princess God forbid

It wasn't bad. It was pretty good. Do you do the part where you like slides the foot? Shhh, I just did that part. Oh, you did. Can I see it again? Of course. When he goes a little more room, I got a wide stance here. And then he goes, ah! There he is. Shoulders go up. Oh, wait. Here's going to be the wolf sounds.

Oh, yeah, the actual wolf sounds. You turn this flip it over to Skip ahead though Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Can I do that one no that's not the neat thing? I can do that look at that we get all do that that that that was nothing So we should do a whole dance move in here one night from everybody. I've been trying to get it for years Dan to a feed I guess he wouldn't get down with it. Well, you know what those days are over you get dancing Kelly in here now And I feel it. It's burning a hole in me right now. How could you not? I have no wonder we're on. Let's do this. Just the part doing my special actually. When they turn around like that. You see, the Lou just had it. Lou just had it. Hell yeah. But look, tell me anyone here could do the leg thing. Which one? You'll see. You know, everyone knows I'm talking about.

It's coming up after a spin. Do it, motherfucker. Come on. What's the tipitote thing? No, it's the thing with the one leg. I'll be afraid to do the tipitote thing. It's a big, big move. Tipitote thing would hurt.

Yeah, I'd break it up. That. I could do that. I could do that. Yeah, I can't do. I can do that. You can't do that. That was nothing. You fell to the side. If that was a sobriety test you'd be in the drunk tank. I hurt my hip. I hurt my hip. I pulled something out. No I hurt my right side of my hip. What's is this you hip? I could even slow down his leg to see exactly what it is he's doing right here. You can't play these in slow motion. I do that for drum videos.

You can slow down and watch his move in 50%. Christine, slow this down to 50%. Why do you do it for drum videos? Because sometimes they're just playing too fast. I need to work out what they're doing. Oh, you're listening to the drums. Not the dance. You know, okay, I get it. Yeah, no, yeah, I'm playing a a drum track I slow-mo everything I watch on you to Yeah, damn that move rips. I was loved to be a dancer. I know I think it's a top right

Is that it up there? Yeah, where it says the clock? Yeah, the little clock. No, nope That means it all I was totally wrong. I went with you too The settings it's in the settings Christine No with the bottom of the screen do something resembling anything anything at all There you go right there Christine. You know it's played it super slow. I want to see what his leg does Thank you It's the thriller Thank you It's the thriller thriller

night, I'll tell you what it reads the jackets doing a lot of the work What if you saw a little kid inside of his jacket? Our storyline didn't really hold much sense at all They went to go see a werewolf movie actual problem in the world a zombie apocalypse at which point turns out to be on her head and then it turns out he is in fact probably the werewolf. Yeah. What doesn't make sense about that? Next level stupid. Okay, I don't know about that. He has to be there. He's crazy. Oh, is he about to do it? Is he with a busted open? Right here. Wap, wap, wap. You know what?

It's not as complicated as it looks. It's not as fast. What does he do that looks so good when that's fast? It's a whap, whap, down. That's it. It's just a whap, whap, down. Well, I can't for it. Bobby, you're not.

I'm doing it. Jay, this, I'm. You're not not doing it. Okay. I'm trying to be positive. He's got his knee, like, all of his toes. Yes, that's what it is. You're, you'm, you're not not doing it. Okay? I'm trying to be positive. He's got his knee, like, all the two of his chest. Yes, that's what it is. You're, you're, you're, you're, you gotta go.

And he's got some torque that's making it bend, like, a rubber band and snap. I got torque. It's that pencil thing. It's that pencil thing. I'll give you torque. Let's say, give me a dude, I'll give you a torque. Get a hurt yourself.

Ready? No, you're gonna do it. What are you doing? We're trying to pop your hip back in. Riggs, what are you doing? Here we go, ready? Duh, duh, duh, duh. Thriller, thriller, dude.

Christine, I got Christine's attention. I almost had it. Yeah, almost. She is so polite. She is very polite. I'm so polite, elders. It's crazy. Christine, be honest with yourself. Can you do that move better? Why don't you just do your razzle dazzle dancers? I don't want to god Can't get DJ Lou to do anything now you look the solidarity this crew is falling the pieces black

Louis dance on the radio show There's video component. There's a video component that can go up on social media. I think that we should do a dance off too soon. Yeah. I mean, we did EDM the first time. Maybe we pick a different genre. Something a little easier, I think, than EDM is a crazy. It's just ridiculous.

But I need contracts from Christine and DJ Lou, that they'll participate for at least a one minute of performance I won I think the thriller dances the perfect dance. I think the thriller is perfect And we all do it together and see who the weak link is. Yeah, I know it's not gonna be me because I'm pretty much most of the way there Not only is it not gonna be me. I'm probably gonna be the leader of the troop by the end of the future. You're going to be Michael Jackson? Okay, I probably shouldn't be Michael Jackson. Jacob's funniest if Jacob's Michael Jackson. I don't think so. I think I could. Who's teaching us? Who teaches ourselves? I need a teacher. No, you have Michael Jackson learning on your own and coming and be ready. That's crazy. Why not? I need a teacher? No, we have Michael Jackson learn on your own and come in and be ready That's crazy

I need a dance teacher to teach me the choreographer shit. I got an air B&B. I got an air B&B in LA All the long you hear me tippity tapping up there So I'm just breaking down the best zombie dance they've ever seen with the worst ever I know all of the moves when he goes I know all of the moves when he goes Jay Jay grew up like the jerk I'm convinced you have got a little hot Mississippi somewhere with a black family. You have a thermos Dude if Don catches me in the shed practicing

Thriller, you know, I'm it's done I know it and slam the door Just do it with max and then you can it can be a father-son activity Learn on your own and come in and do it We all have to do it individually. Don't say the word. Don't say the word. Jacob, I'm in. I'm in. This is a Christine and Lou issue. We need some guidance.

Yeah, we need an instructor. Black Lou already organically knows it. I'll talk to a big gym about getting us a dance instructor. OK. No, I think we do that. No, you know what? Good on air. When you're a dance instructor to come in here

and really walk through it because, I don't know if you know a couple people I'm looking to Christian and Laura Don't know how to dance at all and they're terrified. I'm actually terrified of public dance. I will do it in this room But if we had to do this at like a live show in the fishbowl in the fishbowl in the fishbowl We need room in the fishbowl. I could do it too. I'm telling you depending who the audience is Who's it who's it?

Ever yeah right now shit right now performing right now a lot damn Tool I like to all right. I hope tools shows up that day to go on stern and we're in the fishbowl dancing To I hope that happens make me so happy. I'll do it. I'll cause you a I'll still do it You have to go down with the ship What if they jumped in with us? Oh you guys doing thriller The musical in front of all your friends. I did do how the musical it was sort of like it was so Cheeky yeah when I made the promise that I would learn the entire choreography for if it isn't love It's not that I don't think I could do

some passable version of that dance. Not as those guys are moving on air, but then I could do some passable version that would read sort of funny. I couldn't do it really funny. You kind of got to do it and look cool. And I don't know if I have that in me. You have like cool on stage, like being cool.

Purposely cool, not like being cool purposely cool not like Accidentally like you just like maybe someone thinks you're cool because you're being funny, right? I mean like an undeniably cool Patrick Suézy cool cool. Yeah, yeah making dance and cool now go to one there at the Apollo I mean that is five brothers making it happen up there. Oh, it's good making it happen up there. Oh, it's good. We're back. We're back. The bonfire, me big J. Okasin and the crew and our lovely friend, very hilarious Dave Landau. What's up, buddy? How are you? I was. Prison 10 is out there right now at at prison 10.com that's the number 10 or T and they can spill it out either way. Oh look at you. Yeah coming on two domains. Yeah you've sneaky little fuck right? You spending the extra 19 dollars. Son of a bitch. He's

doing it until today. Tell my friend was like what are you doing you buy two and I was like oh yeah, it makes sense right Or you just put it on a more famous comedians website. That's true You can do that. I did that Go to go to Louise Um, that's a great special. Yeah, we got a great. I mean, I'm so excited about this perfect music coming in to this Comedy express on BET. You said it was on the news. You said they were viewed on the news.

Oh, that's this is black news, black news. Oh, yeah, for sure. Tyler Perry presents the news. Is it BET? But he is news. I'll tell you what, it's going to be hot in a motherfuck outside this week. You best wash your ass Me to finance mother fucker in church Someone's gonna have to unscrew that fire. Oh, you need to find Jesus this weekend and on Friday

It's gonna be warm. So put your pants up, son. You better tighten those wigs down because they might come off Don't get your horse hair wig wet. Yeah. Dude, this is the best. Is that something, Bobby? Yeah, this looks like the news. Dance soda. You never got that racist with me.

Thank you, man. You know what? I'll go there just a little bit. Just a little bit. Thank you. I still need you to be the governing voice that keeps us on air. Yes. But, you know, it's... But you take the the governing voice that keeps us on air. Yes, nice But yeah, you know, it's but you take the ride a little bit. I appreciate I'll take the ride a little bit But you know what I will get off off that train

I can continue to go home to my family. Absolutely do a family go home to I have Christine who secretly believes everything I tell her You're a wizard I am shocked though that BET existed like this in 1986. It does look like the news. It looks like the news. It's very classy. I mean, nothing it's not now. It's obviously very This just in somebody caught with OPP was. So this is this is a beautiful uh... black woman uh... look at the half-asian shela banks there's something in there

shela banks and uh... in the corner uh... four looks like a like a a boy band do a band do a band kanisha chung yeah you might seem under a street lamp in a sixties movie kanisha chung lamp in a 60s movie Kneesh and I'm married to Mori with fouros Mori

Jay see Bobby jumped off the train. Yeah, I jumped on the train. I know I got jump off to do by train We're gonna be a pretty funny black thing to In fairness Well Fresh Prince you got to hear what she says young first of all he was 47 when this happened A group of young men wearing Fedora is a group of young men who died their beards a group of young men who die their beards. A group of young men who were fucking shirts and ties every day.

They all have ties on. Young comedians from Philadelphia, comedy Express, which includes their manager, Nick Reed, dropped by the BET studios and the last word never ending. It's hard to describe these funny individuals. Because they started talking and they were funny too. They showed up at satin jackets and man we almost shit with laughter. You had these made? Did you know white people walk like they have a potato chip in the rest they're trying not to break next to the 11. Why come they always smell like wet dog? Why people smell like

mayo and ham? Kind of remind you of another famous force of them. Do you like the top? Do you notice how he likes the top? Just like the top. You know, he knows how much I look like the only handsome dude, only handsome guy. So good for 100 bucks. So Don, he was like, wow, what improv skills on that one, huh? Wow. There were one unit. This guy, I mean, they were to get, I mean, four hearts became one on that stoop.

As soon as, shall be with the receding afro Stuttered guy. It's just got to the jail for raping all the college What was that comic? He wants like one star search. Yeah, he would yeah, he would rape two two colleges backwards. Yeah, yeah He'd pick his chick and then always go back. They had like that was the Some detective had a fun time finding that pattern though. Oh yeah, they're like, I don't know. What's the thing with these guys? He goes, the only thing that's the common ground is a comedian was that all these places,

two weeks exactly before. With a satin jacket that's a comedy express. He never paid piano keys, yet the thing wasn't musical. What if they all in it, and on the rapes and they only caught him This through I'm under the better not talk motherfucker You're only one way out with the secrets there's only one way out of the express player six feet on Either that or you got to do decent on star such enough to get out of this shitty neighborhood. Yeah.

You don't. Don't make me send my fill the long bears down to take out. You know, shut the hell. Yeah, she did both. Oh, decent enough on star search and rape. Pride of the city. Yeah, a series of really. Yeah, it was Vincent champ.

That's right. Yeah. So crazy. I always say Vincent, like an idiot, 30 to 40 years, he's going to get released like in 10 years. Look what it says right after that. What? Oh, and then he starts two life sentences. Oh, good, good, good. He's being. He's so walking out of his go. All right. Complete.

But by that, that's no sense that they're releasing him to put him back for do you like they released in one state and then put in yeah, see life senses for rape. It's like the white boy Rick story. Yeah, if you're going to break in doing the brass, well, that was drugs, but white boy Rick. Yeah, they still let him out. And then they were like, by the way, you played guilty for that car thing

for your sister. So we got to drive you to Illinois and let's do time there. Yeah. We should send them an iPhone and see if they'll do an hour drive bar. That was really fun for myself. You know it's clean, it was 92 to 97. We want you to do the set you were doing

when you were raping all the women. Give me your knack a set. Don't wanna see the act. I want you to blow the roof off this place. Just behind bar, just squeaky clean. And these adults don't know shit. Yeah. Women be shopping.

Am I right? You cannot stop it. Yo, men be buttfucking each other in the shower. It's all straight up, say it. I don't know what it is about a booty in the shower, but I don't care if it's man or woman. You have a stick of God with an AIDS infected needle. Yeah. Yo, throwing your dukey at a female prison guard,

strangely kind of sexy if you know what I'm saying. I'm a freak though, I'm a freak though. But our stays are freak though. You collect blood, see him and end shit in the coffin way for the bitch to walk by. Am I right? You guys know. This guy knows what I'm, oh there he is.

He was a good looking guy. No, no, that's more My friend. Oh, sorry Vince that's Vince Morris right there. And then that's yeah, no, but he said it's he says these the he's the other rapist I'm not you didn't know Vince was raping. I like how Google's so woke, but still completely racist They're like yeah, this guy any black guy named Vince, right? He's the rape Which one of these vincs did it miss? Here's every black guy named Vince So why they couldn't convict him in three of the colleges. They're like, I don't know it could have been all the cool back Vince Young's in there too. Oh, maybe

Orlando poor land, oh Jones. Yeah, not even named Vince. That's why we got to watch this video. We got to see. Please. We got to see. We have to see. We have seven minutes of show. We have to see. I have to see. We have to focus.

I want to be a president. I take new messing. And I'm the best. It is down with dope and up with dope. Taking the needle out of the veins, but some sense in the brains, because my name is Jesse. I want to be a president.

I take new messing. And I'm the best. Jesse. I'm so bit present. I take new message and I'm the best Oh Impression That was yeah, I Never I never sunk down to the level. I would have sucked cock in subways before I did improv I did I started improv and I regret it just because of this video it's really anytime we've had on the show a couple times I said

what the ones was the middle ditch and shorts I go I'm certain because some people love that special so I go what if I'm willing to say they're the absolute best at what they're doing about there I just do not get it The newest one they ever did a couple years ago. Yeah, there was a Netflix. I think this is right I was like, it's not my thing. This is Ralph Harris, right? Yeah, it was very successful by the way. Yeah, he is bunch of yeah, it's pretty big writer. Yeah, things right yeah, yeah Terrible comedy. Yeah yeah no remember the the worst wrapping of all time to lead the weapon

oh name is Roger and a he to who to hug her that almost stuck in that was actually good that wasn't it no I thought you were doing I thought you were doing the uh Jacob's good huh I thought you were doing the kid that wraps from like that viral video years ago What was his name black? Do you remember that video?

He was fucking main. He's not supposed to curse. It's like a school show. He's clearly autistic And he goes, I fuck it, main, fucking butt, main. You remember that? I'll find where it's called. Was it a college or a high school? High school. That's one morning. Like yesterday, he just keeps cursing. I didn't see you, Ligy. I don't know if I'm wrong or do we need to go straight to Keith. You might not have to go straight to Keith. I guess he keeps cursing. Hey, you, Ligie. Do you have a role for doing an industrial state to keep?

You might have to go straight to Keith. We might have to skip Ralph. Because Keith is the funniest. Well, give me a couple of seconds of Ralph. I'm back and enjoy video soul. Hi, I'm Ralph Harris. And I'm a comedian. I'm a stand up comic with the group comedy

Express from Philadelphia. And I started out doing how many of us? Three years ago professionally. Actually, I've been a funny guy all my life. I decided to doing how many years ago professionally. Actually I've been a funny guy all my life. I decided to give it a try though at the high school after seeing Eddie Murphy get his start in Saturday Night Live. My idols have built Cosby and I feel that I'm gonna do well in this business

because I give a lot to it. And I figure in five years, if you watch me, you'll come out and see me at a show And I may even be able to let you in free Why we have to show us the Joe the Rose immediately I mean my idols are Bill Cosby. I also enjoy standing But he's not even I mean there's not even a funny thing about it Man, I mean that was like he was going on a dating show. Was it just now?

I was fucking nuts. Yeah, that was definitely a shock. I like. Will Auree should have been there. I like all kinds of women and art. I like the oil paint and I like dogs. He looks like he should have snought coming out of his nose right now. Where'd you see Keith though?

Keith. I'm not. He is old and I've been a jazz musician for 70 years. Keith is the best. Look'm not. He is old and I've been a jazz musician for 70 years. Keith is the best. Look at. Oh, Keith, you know Keith came up with this idea, by the way, he has just to let people know I see it now. He and all the other guys had their satin comedy express jackets on.

Keith said, you know what? I got an idea. And he, I'm going to hang the jacket up on the coat hanger. And when you, I want you to start the camera on the coat and then pan when you, I'm gonna start the cam on the coat, and then pan back, and I'm gonna take it off and put it on the shirt. I'm gonna start using industry term, pan back. Ha ha ha ha ha.

End of coat. Ha ha ha ha ha. How you guys doing? Guess you wanna interview me, don't you? I think I can make room for you guys. My busy schedule. I know you wanna know interview me, don't you? I think I can make room for you guys. My busy schedule. I know you want to know where it all started.

Where the legend of Keith Robinson first began. I'm going to throw him a let you know. Because you guys are special. BET. Well, it all started when I was young, very young. When I first had this attitude, this attitude problem that I have now. See, my mom, she wouldn't let me suffocate the cat. I got ticked off.

I swear to God. It's clear. So, you got to break this up into like 30 second drops, or I'm going to throw something and break the tea. You got to stand. But Jay, you wanted to suffocate. Isn't it, though? Dave, you don't understand.

Keith is Jay's mentor. He's pulled me out of this. He pulled me out of this. Keith is Jay's mentor. He's pulled me out. He's pulled me out. This is the guy that took him under his wing. And I'm feeling it. He goes, here's the rules of comedy. Here's what you gotta do, Char. Get a satin jacket, a hat, and a sweater.

Get a bunch of your friends and wear team colors. So this is the special where a young Jay was like, that's my future. I just the fact he's doing, but every one of them, they're doing it like they are an R&B group. I'm Keith, I'm the smooth one of the group. I come in and wet you down a little bit Give it to you like And then my friend Ralph come in Ralph with an awful name to be smooth

They can Ralph and then Ralph comes in starts biting on your nipples because he's confused at what to do Yeah, I hear articulate some stuff maybe Maybe write a poem down for you. And there's two other guys who are dead now. I was just kidding. Two. We got to start. We have to do plugs. And we'll pick this up tomorrow.

This will be, we're live tomorrow, everybody. By the way, live on a Thursday. This week tomorrow will be, do we get Keith? D'Rosa, I don't know who comes in for like someone's got to feel this also somebody with a real attachment to Keith has to see what's what he was has he hid this from me for 25 years well I showed him this and that's how he had his first stroke I don't know if we can show Keith. And it hasn't stopped since. Stroke in severest sense. He be stroking.

Keith stroked it to the east, stroked it to the west. He tried to have the video that he hated best. He be stroking. He's going to be in Traverse City, Michigan at the Opera House, April 7th. Wandao Special, a prison 10 available at a prison 10 with the number 10 of prison 10 dot com. He's going to be in Traverse City Michigan at the Opera House, April 7th. Robert Kelly, you know what's up everybody. He's going to be in Saratoga Springs this weekend, right? That's right, I'll be there. You can go to Nashville with you, Austin with you.

That is correct. We're going to be rolling together. Come hang out with us. Bring us cocaine and heroin. We love it. Or I'll take a cigar and a coffee. Okay, you can bring us a cigar and coffee. The rest of us are party and Christine can't wait to get down on some brown. Blow fucking rules. Yes, it does. RobertkelliLive.com

Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stink.