The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Tickle Fighting and Make-Outs (w/ Nate Craig)

Episode Date: March 25, 2019

Big Jay talks "Tickle Fighting" and the consequences that come with it, Dan and Jay stage a make out in front of Sirius XM and the crowd gets larger than they first thought. Nate Craig joins the show and talks awful comedy condos with the guys and the "Lost At Sea" Tapes comes to a close, with a land recording wrap up. 

You're listening to Comedy Central. Be sure to follow us on all social media, at the bonfire, SXM. Hey, Camper's is Black Blue. On Monday's show, Dan and Jay tell us how much they hate being tickled. Oh, and someone admits to letting out a little pee if they're tickled hard enough. So funny when non-sexual things become sexual repeatable. Try to tickle me and see if you don't get knocked off. Fuck out.

I've warned Christine that I'll break her mouth. I mean, dude. But I'll knock all the stuff I've gotten. I'm that I'll break her mouth. I mean do I'll but I'll not all the time I've gotten pure reaction the only time I've ever gotten close to domestic violence Yeah, is what a woman tickle me when I was like don't do that I'm bigger than you I'm about to show you how much bigger I am than you and by the way and then these nosy bitches Go and start sticking their hands and ribcages and armpits When I go I go hard at Christine on the tickle front, I tickle the shit at her,

and I very aggressively hold her down and do it in the most bull-ish way possible. However, wrap them up with one arm and then you get a free arm just to tickle. However, I appreciate that she is going to give everything she has for me to stop tickling her and get out of that position. When she starts tickling me, I'm just warning her that the effort that she gives if I put in that similar effort which I need to, I want you to stop. I'm gonna like break your neck or something by accident. I will flail violently. It's not to hurt you. He just doesn't want to be tickled back so he tries to care. No, it's gonna piss over myself. I don't want to

piss in my pants in front of you. I'll piss everywhere. You're that making happy? You want to see me piss? I'm sorry. If I get tickled too much, I piss. And again, this is welcome to Dan Soder's self-defense and tickle fighting.

Lesson number one, your knees are your friends because what you're going to want to do is need strength harder than anything. Get up, get up up there, and then if you can get an arm under a knee, if you're a man, I'm speaking of man, this is for women coming at you tickling. This is a men's self defense class. I would teach it in a mini mall, but I'm not allowed to. If a woman comes at you, if your lover comes at you to tickle you, what you're going to

want to do is put a heavy knee top of arm. You want to go top arm. That locks them in. And then what you're doing is you're also allowing a little space for their armpit to be open. So once you got your knees on their arms, these women, they're just a bag of sand. They're just laying there.

And then what you do is you get in, you get in with your index and you start tickling in the fucking armpit. I have weird arm flexibility. So I can like go out and out. Nothing that a knee can't stumble brag I'll tell you right now you'll I lock you down yeah I

got fucking sick agility I'm telling every lady out there these shins they're locking down your arms yeah I I I and then the claws are coming out yeah I aggressively tickle behind the knees top of the knees all go rip cage and Christine's extraordinarily ticklish. And by the way, it's her fault

when these things get started. It's here. It always does start like a fight. We're like, oh, you wouldn't do that. Oh, you want to do that? I'm going to do this. Dude, she's so jump. She's jumping ticklish.

This is making me lonely in all the places. And maybe she was molested. We're not sure. Yeah, I don't know. Because she's ticklish in all the places. And maybe she was molested. We're not sure. Yeah. I don't know because she's ticklish in all the places that would just like the natural arm fall of affection, being around her waist or what it just like where my hand when it flops over her, like just like kind of her side mid drift. If you touch it, she jerks, which makes me furious. Yeah.

I know. Cause she jerks are. So then by as soon as she jerks, it doesn't make me furious anymore. Now I just go, oh, you want to get tickled? Oh, you want to jerk around and get tickled? You're going to get tickled good, and then it becomes a whole thing, and I love it. But if she gets in the position where she's tickling me,

it's a very serious warning. I leave that a very serious warning. I go, I'm going to hurt you, not on purpose. You give the Liam Mason, you go, I don't know. I don't have a particular, what I do have I'm gonna hurt you not on purpose. You give the Liam Mason, you go, I don't know, I don't have a particular, what I do have is a particular side of skills that makes tickling very dangerous for people like me.

I go full-blown, this is a thriller, I go, go away! You're really so good, just you, not me, just you, not me. Just you, not me. I said just you, not me. And then he starts saying it's gonna pee. Yeah, that's so far. She's never seen it, but I'm telling you, I and then he starts saying he's gonna pee She's never seen it but I'm telling you I will piss all over myself like a real a shame have to go Flying the bathroom and have Christine hose me off like oh

I didn't know it was actually I think she's doesn't believe that I'll actually piss all over my how long of a tickle Does it take for you'd pick I think she's doesn't believe that I'll actually piss all over my how long of a tickle does it take for you to piss I think I'm giving away my cryptid eye here, but I mean like 10 seconds. I'd probably fucking hose it it down I've changed the color of my jeans in 10 seconds But I hate it. Dude, I used to I had to stop myself when I became like a An older teenager from not like pissing from just simple laughter sometimes.

What? Yeah. You come at me, you're getting some big fucking pause grabbing those wrists. If I got those risks, I control you. Is that direct threat to Christine? No, not at all. I'm telling you, you know, if you try to tickle Dan, he's just a fuck your world. I judeo flip Christine into the lobby.

He's just fucking the mouse in the middle of your head. Like I'm really easy to a fucking bottle cap you right on the head You know high Fucking catch a blues Someone gets a prize. Ma But tickling I believe in volunteer. I'm telling if I get tickled like I'm not kidding on the warning. I'm saying I don't want to piss myself so much.

And I'm worried I'm going to that I will crush Christine's larynx with my hands. Oh man. If she tinkles me too long, why do you have a face like you're tempted to try to make him pee? Oh, I tickle him back all the time. He's just saying it to get it to where he can tickle me and not have any revenge.

Wait, why? That's not the way that you think that I won't be. I think you think that that will deter me where it's like maybe you'll learn your lesson when you pee to not tickle me. Oh, so you think this is, you think this is mind game. Well, I'll tell you what, this bitch just bought herself a fucking tickle word tonight.

I don't know about this. You better throw a net over my head when I come back from Skanks tonight. I haven't been fucking this amp since McGregor could be. I'm excited to see this fucking tickle fight. No, no. Or sure I go. I'll say this Christine. I'm thinking Jay's could be He's just gonna mush you into dust I'm telling you fish. You want to go hard? Whenever Jay whatever like I'm just like I go I would get raped like I wouldn't be able to like fight my way out of a rape

Like I would for sure just have to like you'd have to do the call I have to submit at some point because I'm not gonna win a guy. I want Christine to just claim her by the way did not rape her just continue to take no No, no, just like the tickle war is like you know a fun version of like Christine walking to the bedroom a real fight You ready to tickle fight? Oh, dude, you're crushed. I feel like I give everything I have to get out from underneath them. And I know he's only given like 50% against me and it's terrifying. But we just get about being the heavyweight champ. The best part is to get him is when you get him from, it looks like you're coming in for affection.

That's Christine's weakness. She loves affection. And I withhold it from her. And then when I give it to her, she does not pay attention at all that while I'm up top all over just giving her a hug, my legs are wrapping around her ankles in a way that she can't get free. And I have her before she knows it in full mount. And then done. I got an arm pit. Christine's though she bucks She bucks okay, I've cut my lip she's busted my lip before I mean you fight you fight like I gotta get out of this Tickety that she just knows she's not gonna whizz all over me. Oh man. He knows great is cuz it's such conflicting messages

She ain't tickling your girlfriend and they're like stop it just sucks and you get everybody and they're like, stop it, just sucks and you get everybody. You're like, you're like, you're like, you're loving it. Yeah, everybody, stop. I think girls get mad. I'm serious, fucking stop. I'm like, all right, all right, I'm fine, I'm sorry. Yeah, like, how can I? Well, that's like JJ's going, stop it, I'm gonna pee,

but meanwhile, he like has a joy of like a young child. And he's like, you're laughing. I'm like, you love it, you're lying. You love getting picked. T-T-T. Black Lou here, and on Tuesday's show, Dan and Jay stage a fake make out session in front of the serious XM building,

and it doesn't go at all how they planned. We're just out front with the camera crew. Man, I don't know why. I'm just brought up, I got humiliated all over again. I don't know why I'm so bad at that. The fucking with the unknowing is weird to me. That's why I love the elevator thing we do, because it is, I don't know why I'm so bad that the fucking with the unknowing is weird to me I love the elevator thing we do because it is I don't know why it's like you guys are there So I can like it's all about trying to make each other laugh in the elevator see I'm more comfortable the other way

I can't do the elevator, but like that out of the big of a problem with this I was mortified Well the best part is we have it on tape. I know, I can't wait till this goes out. Corey and Lynn were with us and we were filming and in between during our smoke break, Jay, we noticed there's a lot of finance guys, billions just came out. So Jay's like, yes, that is, we were like, that was like the running jump.

Cause guys were being like, oh, huh, you know, like one guy took a picture and then we walked to the front and this guy was in the lobby in a full sweatsuit. Guy and a girl, a full jumpsuit, the dea. Full jumpsuit. Just full dea jumpsuit, staring at J and I, because the camera crew was filming us, so they assumed something was going, were they recognized you or what they were just staring?

They were staring hard like it was the wrong way mirror. I said in the mirror. I said in the, it's like they were like child of the corn, like children of the corn shit, like just like staring at us So then I go now I'm okay to get these particular people Yeah on the joke and so I go oh did we got to do the fake make-out and see if it was their staring at us and not realize they're filming us making out So I wrap around and put my face in his neck and we do the and I do I do the dance neck Yeah, and then I go turn

me a little bit and I'm gonna look I mean, I'm gonna peek over your shoulder to see what the two people that were doing this for doing. I peek over my shoulder. Everybody in the lobby all the security people are standing up and like looking at it was like what the fuck. If I go oh my god, dude, everyone's looking at us us if this would have been the end of a it was like end of a romcom kiss Yeah, oh yeah, if I would have been running into the office and you would have stopped me and pulled me back They think you're so gay So yeah, they stared as we walked through the lobby. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go through different entrance I think you go on a 48th street. You guys, can we go through Delferscoast?

I can't go through, dude, they're all looking at us. They think you're... They never stop looking at us. Then they don't know what fucking love is. Now maybe they get it, now maybe they have a hint. I head down and then last minute was that, I always like that to the fun,

even if I feel uncomfortable. I was like, I don't know what to do. I didn't want to go in and then goes, let's just go in and go to the elevator and I go, okay. And then Dan jumped in the revolving door and I go, this isn't going to help. And I jumped in the revolving door. So I will stack the shit. I'm just saying I was more modified. I felt everything you're supposed to feel in that of like, I hate this. Everyone's looking at me. They are not getting the joke. I don't think. They didn't laugh. one laughed no one laughed

They were like all these two big men have said this because he was like in a jumpsuit I just be a sound some fucking some off market porn being shot. He goes. Oh, yeah, dude You know that guy from fucking billions. I think he's in like fucking like POV gays He goes and it's also very weird John Raporn to. I don't know how to say it's like a bouncer Small forward porn You know like a lanky guy had one out on the wing poppin three and also a guy want checkered ideas on college night Couple of divisions a couple of not division three what do you call it minor league football player? He goes out of some CFL guys

Kissing out front one of them's probably a you know why not I was I was uncomfortable as hell I didn't think I didn't think about the other 30 people that were in there and and seven of which I mean were captive audience I mean all staring to the popping up from the desk is the best one they all popped up. I saw so many more heads than I expected. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! I started laughing like a girlfriend in the dance chest. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be safe. I wanted to make me feel safe for this one. I didn't feel safe. I just rubbed his head and I went, shhh.

I was uncomfortable as shit. Hey, babe. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P I was uncomfortable as shit. Hey babe What are they doing you guys walked in they applauded like officer in a gentleman? Hey guys hope you're joined the best of the week here's where me Dan and our guest Nate Craig have a conversation about the old crappy comedy condo situation check it out I Dude dumb shit sometime this actually I did I tell you about that, you work rumors, you worked at Winnipeg, right? Yeah. So like one of the waitresses there made Banana Bread

and she like left it for all the comics and she left and she wrote a note. Like I'm and it was a piece of paper a flyer for a year week at the club. So it's like, hey, I made you some Banana Bread, enjoy it and left it, it was in the condo for, for like a full 30 seconds. I thought that Dan Soder makes banana bread for the guy coming in the next week. I was like, this motherfucker. That's what I do, dude, Prince. Yeah, that's a good guy. I always like, I take care. This is

to do it is taking over the whole game. Yeah, I, I go Nate make yourself at home. I fluff the pillows. I've done I bought a Leafs been there's a black seed in the banana bread also have at the juicer It's right under the counter. I bought a neutral bullet. I like to do it in condos. We're all And we got to sue Costa see the show her note was right next to your face dude I was like funny any puts his I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit.

I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit.

I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit.

I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm gonna go to the suit. I'm for the recipe, pal. Yeah. Hey, bud, if you want some banana bread, have some laughs and some banana bread on me. Hey, do it. Dear voter, my son. That's Sunday crowds, real good people. They're good fun. You're gonna get a lot done. Is rumors of condo?

And yeah, condo, then this year I went and it was a hotel. Yeah. So if you, because you made the, because you put on the banana bread? Yeah, I impression. I wanted to die. Yeah, I wanted to die in Craig over here and they bumped me up.

You guys... Oh, no, I bring a bad breath over here. They're putting me up nice. It's because they're taking care of me good. It's because he goes to BBBs. I'm gonna put a nice one until I... I think I'm trying to think of them done with condos across the board. There's only the one left anyway, I think.

What is Edmonton? Yeah. So when left, I think that might be, what's the Scamius condo? Denver's a different thing. Denver's like a nice apartment for comedy workers. It's just different. That's like main, part of their thing is that condo.

I also stay at Trish's, so I can't really partake. Worst condo ever stayed in was River Center's condo in San Antonio. It was like in this office and the lock was stuck and it looked like it was like In a hotel there. Yeah, they changed that When I did it in 20 fucking 12. Okay. I did it like last year and it was like In 2012 or 2013 it was a weird buddy putting a condo and they have a 700 seat room. Yeah

You always like that when the accommodations are bad and the rooms impossible to fill. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh cool. I have to sleep in a place where the towels are crunchy. Keep your condos sleeping in a place too small and performing in a place too big.

Yeah, that's really how it works. Rolls 100 bucks on maintenance guy, please. Yeah. I get this. Dude, I just remember being up there and being like staying one night in the condo and the way that the bed sunk. I cast in all my Hilton points and I was like, staying one night in the condo and the way that the bed sunk.

I cast in all my Hilton points and I was like, I don't know. Buddy, I'd have a fucking tube TV still in some of these places. Yeah. Tube television. Dallas Hyenas. You can buy a flat screen at bright aid.

Dallas Hyenas, I brought my PlayStation and I was like, this is gonna be a great weekend. I'm gonna get so much done video games. You need to bring RF cables. It's for real. You need the fucking red, white, and yellow. Says hotel, says hotel on the contract. Show up, they put me in the condo,

and it looks, I look like a guy that left his family six months ago, and just started over. We just said that. That's it. That's it. That's a more sad. It's like a studio apartment, you know, apartment complex with a pool in the middle with a tall gate around it. That's it. That's it. That's a more than that. It's like a studio apartment in our apartment complex with a pool in the middle of the tall

gate around it. Real tall gate to make a statement. Yeah. And then I asked the owner when I went, came up for the show and I'm like, yeah, dude, what's up with the hotel? He goes, I know you get the condo this weekend. I got it. I got it. I got it. Great news because we couldn't afford hotel. Yeah. Oh, no, this is my, you get my place. Yeah, I'm not, dude, I'm shacking up with my buddy, Randy. So have fun. Now, but I call my agent. I was like, what the fuck you get my place Yeah, I'm not doing I'm shocking up with my buddy Randy so have fun But I call my agent. I was like what the fuck dude and then you know, he's like get a hotel to reimburse you that Morty's club Dude the features stay at the dudes house What the feature when I was there was staying in his place. Yeah, boy. It was very weird

Very very weird now what kind of seen the most filth Because that's a difference. I don't know like a Columbus or something like Columbus maybe I would even say like a Dayton that condo for the comedy store in San Diego and lohoya and San Diego. Oh, yeah This is all those all I heard it's cuz it's amazing though. It is it's right on the water Yeah, it's just nothing but I mean, it's just nothing but beach tail Like all day every day and then all those creatures from the comedy store are coming down there. Yeah, I mean, it's just nothing but, I mean, it's just nothing but beach tail, like all day, every day, and then all those creatures from the comedy store are coming down there.

Yeah, I mean, filth. I just think that's not my, that's not my pluckum, like, place, though. Beach? I don't think I can be wearing a fucking rowdy, rowdy, piper shirt. Yeah, get women in the beach. I'm gonna have zinc oxide on my nose

and a stretched out shirt. Are you short shorts? Are you in Betsy? Like a nice, dark bathroom in Brooklyn? Dude, I like a guy out shirt. Are you short shorts? Are you in Betsy? Like a nice dark bathroom in Brooklyn? Dude, I like it. Girls, can you move your beautiful bodies and trying to find old bottle caps here? BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Who's this? How do we fuck this guy? I hope he's in the temporary quarters. Miss, I can see where your pubic hair would be if you vote on my meat. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Apparently got metal in your pus. Yeah, I would say condos are a thing where it's very fun at first.

It's not bad at first. You feel like you're a comedian. I'm pretty sure I've never, it's how it's done. Yeah, I don't know if I fucked it a condo. I have. I fucked it in the Albuquerque laughs combo. It can't be an condo. Maybe Edmonton in my life.

I saw one in condo, I fucked it in, it was Albuquerque laughs. No, I've brought people to fucked in Edmonton condo. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's fun I'm trying to think of the last like the grossest condo I've ever been and was the laughs Tucson Yeah, it was crazy. It was it was it was it had the plastic down that you could walk and then we walked on the carpet It was like a darker color. Mm darker color. It was like the clear plastic. I think that David Carpet had a sheen. Yeah, I'm talking about 15 years ago. David, different condo now, but this was when I started. Sometimes I'd go smoke weed with the headliner.

You know, if I was like emceeing, maybe I'd come down, maybe I'd come and fucking smoke weed and then drive me over to the club. The club was maybe like half a mile away. So I was like, oh, there's always awesome killer. Like, yeah, dude, smoke my fucking shit right over the Mexican border weed that I got for free from Pepe at Localeantha and then I'd go over there and I was just like this is fucking disgusting.

Oh dude. When I moved out here I had to go I went back to Tucson to work and I stayed in there. When I opened for that, when I featured for that TC Hatter and Marcian silent clown and his wife plays the piccolo. That was a mad live. The worst dinner theater right there. The worst one I've ever seen and I I walked in and I was like you guys got put me in a hotel. It was one of the band houses. They try to put you in at Chilku Charleys in Alaska. Oh yeah. And it's like busted out floors.

And so I just really put like bands that stay there. And like the bands like fuck them up and just fuck chicks and do drugs. I get whatever bands do. And then they're like, hey, do you want to go like unpack and hang your folded clothes on the hangers? You're like, I don't. I don't.

Now nothing's touching anything. Yeah, dude, those like, and that's when the band's in there, that's like when the, when the, when the fucking room takes a breather. Like during the week is when the locals come through a new math. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When they know nobody's in there.

Right, dude, I was just up, I was just up in the UP. I did, there's this one night or up there that's this classic spot, dude. It's like, it doesn't pay enough, you'll never see it, but it's a fucking great spot. It's this place called Pesqualis. And like, it's an ultimate of the minute of business since the 70s, the dude's parents used to own it,

and now he's there, this fresh made Italian food, the fucking big, beautiful bar. But the hotel is the single worst hotel that I've ever seen. The fucking phone, the phone didn't work, so I checked the batteries. There wasn't even a battery in the phone. That's great.

The door lock so you couldn't turn the thing, but it just popped right open. Oh! Like the, like, it was brutal. Did you get a different room or just... Just suck it up and stay there. I... It wasn't my first time up there.

I knew that there wasn't change, and I was just like, I took the gig, I was just like, this is the last time. Crackle Crackle. This is DJ Liu. In this next segment, the gang is still on the boat. The impractical jokers crews. It's their last night there. So they're talking about having sex and jerking off on the boat. It's a weird weird mix. We were all the shawryest today even like there is just some I mean it just looks like it like it like it like it like dude that guy in the water by us with that body. I have a Mateo or there's some with their touch. There's some women on this thing who just look like they like you just tied up like pounds of burger meat into a bikini. Yeah and then there's some like holy shit knockouts and then I'd say most of it falls on the inventory which is fun Yeah, they're one uncomfortable group. You don't want to be able to group of everyone's the EDM crews I'd feel like a fucking like you were saying that yeah, it's like an ogre

Did it when they the child you corn? Yeah, they're just like Girls is dead. Hey, pretty girl girls doing a wiggle dance. Yeah 12 hours, which means they're torsos or just like tight little I love it. So I love you and you Molly. You need doors have to be kicked open. There's so there's so there's so those marks come from on the door. I lost my mind. They're so in shape that it's nothing. They have an Audi belly button. It's just that their stomach is all the way back The the bottom of their belly button shows. Yeah, they have African belly bottoms out. Yeah, it's like a little popped out You're not popped out. It's just flush. Yeah, it just looks like a little crease. Oh, yeah

Like the intel inside side and then they're just at the bar being like, okay, another vodka Red Bull Yeah, but there's a- But I'll tell you the sex must look to quote Jacob. They're love making must be beautiful. Oh, yeah, for sure. Those ass cheeks. That's the public sex where you see on a cruise and you're like, I'm gonna stand in a-

You're so- I'm gonna drink you up. I'm gonna watch this. How much balcony fucking percentage of rooms have had the balconies fucked on this trip? Uh, 35%. That's fair. That's fair, right? I think that's fair.

I don't think it's half. No, not half. Not on this group. But not. But I think there's enough people with a good, good enough sense of humor and a good enough head on their shoulders. That's fucking the balcony. We do need sense of humor. It's like, let's fuck on the balcony. We didn't use that to humor, it's like let's fuck on the balcony, no.

Oh yeah, this is a great... Me and Chris, we didn't know this triple, we may have fucked on the balcony before. Sure, fucked on the balcony. Because no one can see you, it's great. It's awesome. Yeah, no one can see it. He comes just fucking it, see. Fucking it, see.

Well you're fucking outside, the whip and yeah, it's great. Yeah, super primal. Yeah. It's very primal. Is that the word for it? But she means because I bite her in the back of the neck while I fuck her I bite her by her scruff Y'all and then I carry her to another chair go. You're gonna fuck your hair You got like a mother cat going on a fucking place now You got like a mother cat. Going on a fucking this place now, you're gonna be a real man.

I'll put you by your neck scrub. You're back in the... Yeah, you're right here. Don't you not lay off of that microphone. I'm gonna nip her right here and carry her to another chair. Hang on, hang on, hang on, you lost some of that. We would just like jerk off next to each other on bears or hump each other's legs.

I'm not trying to jerk off on the balcony. It's even like a shootover. You should. Yeah. So you can glean the cube. I'm coming up there. I'll do it up and over. Oh my god.

Oh, I just shoot it up. And then just watch the wind catch it fire back. Looks like goal shit on the next guy's window. Oh, I just need to take the load. Three doors down. Dude, I want to see you throw. Do you are you a you a rope shooter? I think if I Yeah, I don't know I can be hit or miss I got gasped up hand I can I could probably pop I can rope shoot, but then sometimes just it's a fizzle which is gonna blow back on me

That's exactly what I was gonna say. It's a launch day could be a challenger could get to the moon Yeah, that'd be great if you really send it out there No, dude just bring just one. Oh, dude, just bring just one on each one. Yeah, just walk out. Is watch it go away. Yeah, that's it. Ha, and then you're still coming as you're watching it go. Oh my god.

Ha, ha. Thank you. Take care, check it off out of an airplane window. Hey, it's Big J. Eilkerson, and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 p.m. Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bond Fire at SexM. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.