The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Toe Sucking (feat. Andy Fiori)

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

Jerrod Carmichael sucks a man's toes on his reality show and Jay thinks the black community is treating him unfairly for it. Andy Fiori defends his lifestyle music and Christine admires her dog's Instagram page.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly. I fucked your bitch, you fat motherfucker. The beauty of gangster rap, the people who really got big, just all have such a history. They're all art kids. They're not thugs. So it's just funny to hear a song like this and know that Tupac, his first job was a background dancer for Digital Underground, the Humpty Dance people. And before that he was in Baltimore, he went to art school. He went for the dancing and shit. He was like Michael Che. Michael Che was an artist.

And then Michael Che, Michael Che went to jail for a couple months and came out with thug life tattoos on his stomach. Michael Che was a successful artist. Did you know that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he had like a whole life before. He had a whole life before and then he was like, hey, let me try this. Oh, and it all goes great. Nice. Wow, I thought the art thing was gonna be hard to do good at but this is even easier. This is way easier Set up punch tag tag tag zip zap zip a dooba what I love about Che too is his reaction is very real It's like when they go. Hey, man, please don't leave. We'll make you the head writer of SNL and he went

All right I really I wanted to leave, but OK. And then I think they're like, you only got to come in two days a week. Fine. Please let us continue to give you money. OK. But I don't care. We don't need you to care dog.

Just show up, please. It seems everybody who wants that job, like desires it, gets it, and then hates it. I've never seen anybody be like, this is the best. They're all like exhausted and fucking tired and. Way to dig in the soda. He wanted it, didn't get it. Shots fired.

You know who did get it though. Pete Davidson. A guy who doesn't do any impressions at all. A guy with no impressions and told so that's one of my favorite stories ever Cuz uh when Soder and him were at the audition together that year. He said uh, they were standing at a bunch of people We're like, you know running around like, you know, we're rehearsing their thing and backstage like nervous And he goes this is funny. Everybody's so freaked out like I don't, everybody's so freaked out, like I don't even want it. He said that to dad, I don't even want it. And then Pete told me and Christine one time

that when they offered it to him, he goes, nah, I'm too young, like I don't want it. He goes, I don't think it's good. And he said, Lorne was kind of like, I understand, it's like a very, very mature thing to say. And he said he hung up and he called him back two hours later and was like, you know what, dude? Fuck, he goes, let's like a very, very mature thing to say. And he said he hung up and he called him back two hours later and was like, you know what dude? Fuck, he goes, let's go down together.

Let's get out of the ship kind of thing. Like, I'm investing 100% in you. Maybe it's a bad idea, like you say, but I'm doing it. He was like, but no! I'm doing that on my next audition. I'm just gonna be like, you know what? I'm not the guy. Yeah, you're gonna start negging. Yeah, I'm not negging.

Just start negging the industry. I mean, really, what are you gonna do? Jesus Christ. Success comes so easy for some people. It really does, man. It really does, man. I wish I could do that with, like, food. I'd be like, no.

Yeah. I don't even care if I eat you. I wish I could say, I'm done. You know, it's funny. I would say, well, let me introduce I'm done. You know it's funny I was so let me introduce her with first of all it's the bonfire faction talks here sex I'm 103 big jokers in the great Robert Kelly Joining us in the show today along with our whole crew

One of the og crew members of the show here. Oh That jam everybody He's gonna be headlining wisecrackers and Wilkes-Barre PA April 26 to 27th and the rogue Island Comedy Festival in Newport Rhode Island 23rd I know I'm not sad at the name of the club you're playing I am I'm sad I'm not sad at wisecrackers I'm sad at this song good old grateful there's nothing I've never I've tried Andy okay I've tried that's all Grateful Dead. Good ol' Grateful. There's nothing... I've never... I've tried. Andy? I've tried.

That's all I can ask for. Why are you angry at me over this? I don't know why you're... Because he tried. That's what makes people angry. When you try and you don't like it, then you're like, you put me through a lot of 18 minute songs. I broadened my horizons. Fuck off. No. Sorry for... No, those are minutes he's never gonna get back.

Each song is a new experience with Max. That's never gonna get back. Yeah, each song is a new experience with max That I'll never get back. It'll never get back. God what if Max got into it and Bobby had to go and stand at a dead Concert. Oh, yeah, those fucking shit heads would not happen Max took his first step while Bobby was fucking ayahuasca dancing in a room with a bunch of tapestries on the wall Mexico's first step while Bobby was fucking ayahuasca dancing in a room with a bunch of tapestries on the wall You can have it It's Murk face Andy Fiore joining I will I will let him listen to the dead and I will give you an honest I will videotape an honest response

All right, and if he's into it, he's all yours. He's uh, what kind of shit is he is. It's just pop music still No, he's in fucking metal Pantera tool He's into you know what Bobby what I was into that shit, too Oh god damn it, but I am a good example of you can still love all that stuff because I went to metallic with you Guys Pantera I've been to we went to tool. I love all the of you can still love all that stuff because I went to Metallica with you guys, Pantera, I've been to, we went to Tool. I love all the, you can find both. All right, listen, the thing about the-

What I'm saying is I have great musical taste. Except for- Any shreds. And I- I forget he can shred. Andy air shreds. I will, I'll put my air shredding up against anybody. What do you do at a Kiss concert or a Jovi concert

or Billy Joel or any of these concerts? Oh, yeah, I love I know but the fact that you Are you calling them jovie became friends of them because his daughter is a comic. Yep. I don't like that You call it Joe. I call the joe it's calling Robert De Niro Bobby. I Just what you do. I called joe V. Joey. He tried to slip it into back in the day. I called him joe V Yeah, yes Were you more of a joe V guy or a talaka man? I called Jovi Jovi back in the day I called him Jovi. Yes. Were you more of a Jovi guy or a Talika man? Ah, this is spinning on my mind.

Jovi, crew, son. Roe Smith. Z. Top. You in the top? Halen, you want to call Halen Halen? Halen's pretty good. Halen's pretty good.

Halen works though. Halen rules. Jovi works. Jovi doesn't work. Jovi works. Jovi. It doesn't. It hits my ears wrong.

No one says Jovi. Nobody's ever said it before. Eddie, when you're going to see Jovi, I'm going to see Jovi. You don't say that about a guy who looks like your aunt Carol now Sure I saw him a picture of him the other day on something on Facebook. He's so old yeah, he's like just smiling I think he's holding up like something. He's selling or something Some product he just like yeah, the smile was big huge teeth Those teeth that it seemed like they've been dying for 30 years.

No, those teeth are only 20 years old. I think he looks nice. You think what? I think he looks like a nice, I don't like his new hair. A nice lesbian grandmother. I think the, So much like Jamie Lee Curtis now.

That's true, he does. He doesn't. Richie looks like shit. Richie has that chin that goes right to his chest. He's become a pleasant old man, Bon Jovi, but he's keeping this bouffant hair. Look at his son, though. His son has got his looks. Where's the son?

The son's right next to him. Oh, yeah, shit. Look at that handsome son of a bitch. He plays football, too. No way that kid plays football. I think he plays football, and he went to Notre Dame. No, he puts his foot in other dude's balls. I'm pretty sure he played football, dude. One of his son, no, maybe not him, but the other kid plays football. No. I think he plays football. He went to Notre Dame. No, he puts his foot in other dude's balls. I'm pretty sure he played football.

One of his son, no maybe not him, but the other son played football. One of them is marrying the girl from Stranger Things. Who is? I think that kid. Bring it up. Von Jovi's kids? Yeah.

Oh, one of his kids worked on Prank with Jokers I think for a minute. One of his kids played football, I swear to God. That's the kid, the top one is marrying the girl from Stranger Things. Is it Romeo or Jake? He named one of his kids Romeo. That's, fuck that.

Don't ever call him Jovi again. You don't show that kind of respect for Romeo. Two people named their kids Romeo. Master P and Bon Jovi. And Jovi. That kid ain't a Romeo either. Oh, that's Jesse. Jesse Bon Jovi.

Oh yeah, he didn't get the kids. He didn't get the wife. No, he got the mom's fucking side of the family. That kid ain't a Romeo either. Oh, that's Jesse. Jesse Bon Jovi. Oh, yeah, he didn't get the kids. He didn't get the wigs. No, he got the moms fucking side of the family. Jake's a good looking. Jake's the fucking good looking one. There's always a clunk, dude. Yeah, there's always a fucking.

It's like Arnold Schwarzenegger's Real Kid versus the Old Kid. That's why I stopped at one. Yeah. I didn't want to have the other one with a hair lip and a fucking weird ear. Like, hey dad, sniff. Oh my God. I just saw Christine's login for our dog's Instagram. You are a jerk off.

I have a doodles Instagram. Stop. I have a doodles Kelly. Doodles underscore Kelly. Christine, can you please go to Dawkins Instagram and let me see what, oh this is going to make me furious. Oh, he's marrying Eleven? What are you doing, showing the inside of my house to everybody? It's not a house.

It's a home. It's an apartment. It's also not her name. Look at Dawkins. It's also not her name. Little Miss Dawkins, Sean. I got more followers than Dawkins. This is Dawkins Van Zombie.

Oh, Dawkins Van Zombie. He's a Stoke Lord. She is a Stoke Lord. Andy said I got more followers than her. Oh, good, Christine, why don't you show, why don't you give her address? What is that? I don't like that suggesting at all. Tell you show, why don't you give her address? What is that? I don't like that suggesting at all.

Tell you what, that's an uncomfortable couch. It's actually a lot more comfortable than it looks. It's our most comfortable couch. Oh is it? And no one sits in it. I mean look how cute she is. Someone does. Because it looks like it's littered with hair.

It's not. No? No, the one we sit on is. No, oh she sheds. Oh, oh she sheds. Oh Sheds that's her little towel for when she gets out of the shower thrilled Oh my god, okay. Yeah You don't do Halloween costumes. Yeah, she does

This poor dog is getting Human child energy from Christine Where is dangerous I came in the other day and Christine had the dog was trying to get the dog to suck her tit human child energy from Christine. I worry it's dangerous. I came in the other day and Christine had the dog, was trying to get the dog to suck her tit. Why don't you be a man and drop one in her vag and give her a kitten? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, let me be the, let me be a 50-something year old father of a young child. What's wrong with that? Nothing. I had an old dad, he was great. Nothing. I'm actually a 50-something year old father of a young child. What's wrong with that? Nothing. I had an old dad, he was great. Nothing. I'm actually a 50 year old. My dad had me at 55. Oh Jesus Christ.

Fucking ruled. And I know, and you only had him around because he lived to 106 or something. He fucking died the day after he high-fived fucking Al Roker. No, he lived to 96, dude. I know. He was more in shape than all of us combined.

It was the least, uh, like, hey, man, if you need a shoulder to cry on, text I've ever sent for someone who lost somebody when your father passed away. I go, fucking great run, dude. Yeah. No, you guys actually called. Chin up. We did a double call. It was very insubstantial.

Chin up, bro. That guy lived it out. He was 96. Just went? Yeah. What'd he die from? Life, dude? Yeah. That's a good way to go No, no, I want to do it the knowledge of seeing Oppenheimer happen in real time My dad hit his head on the door Andy wake up Time for supper. There's a point He didn't know if it was gonna work out or not like we don't know what's gonna happen in world war two

All that shit. He saw turn down your telegraph up there. Yeah, I do that mass sometimes. I'm like, oh, so when he when it was like he was born in 23, I'm like, so in 1963, he was 40. Like you do it, you do your age. You know what I mean? I'm like, oh, I'm 40, you know, 44. But like, oh, it was 1963 and he was 40. So much more to come in like the country

Yeah, at that point you're like that's fucking banana. He was he was amazed at radio. Yeah all that shit I couldn't believe him up. Oh my god. He had decoder rings. He had all kinds of shit He believed in Santa till he was a young adult He was around at a time where people could fucking die from a head cold. Santa's not real? Oh Bobby. Oh shit. What?

I forgot you grew up in foster homes. Yeah. Bad news buddy. Dawn's been buying you and Max presents. I'm taking that kid to a concert. Not to a dead concert. Why not? You gotta wait.

Why not? You gotta go out there. You gotta go to Pantera and fucking Metallica. He's not gonna stay out that late. He's not gonna stay out till the sun comes up. First of all, it's standard concert time. This TV works. That music works well in the daylight, it's fine.

Doesn't matter what the lighting is outside. I'm home by seven. I'm home by dusk. But what do you do? When I go to a concert, I can dance, I can sing to the songs. How do you? It's exactly the same things you do. But what do you do? Well, I think one of the guys in the concert, I know I can dance, I can sing to the songs. How do you? It's exactly the same things you do.

But what do you do? Well, I think one of the guys in the band, I believe, takes them back to a boathouse and has sex with Max. Right? Wasn't that a thing? That was fish. Oh, was that fish? There was some, the bass player was taking

some artistic photos. He would get children and take them to the boathouse behind the concert. Well, it's not conflated. Why did them to the boathouse behind the concert. Well, that's not conflated. Why did they have a boathouse at every concert? I think it was the venue. I think it was Jones Beach. It was Jones Beach.

Did they play three? Because it was a nice aesthetic. Brings a nice setting. We talked about this. Dog Instagrams, we did talk about this. Yeah, he brought a girl behind. They were artistic photos. There's doodles.

I can't argue this one. Jay, when you see- Who's got more followers, Christine? When you see your dog wrapped in a Kiki coat, does it melt your heart and infuriate you at the same time? It stopped melting my heart. It melted my heart at first, now it just infuriates me. Because Christine will let us live in complete hair.

She's fine if our house is fur. Who has more followers? It doesn't matter to her. It is adorable. Between the Armenian and the fucking dog, holy shit. It Holy shit. We're going through a lot of razors in this fucking Oakerson home. Oh you're not wrong dude. I have to vacuum after Christine and that dog. I look over half the time I see both of them scratching their own shoulders with their feet. Both of their hind legs. They're both scooting their assholes in the carpet.

Dawkins has more followers. How many more? Like 200 more. Yeah! Well, I don't promote Doodles. Doodles is for... I don't promote this one either. I don't promote Doodles. I forgot about it until this moment.

They're not boosting their ads. I boost Doodles ads. It's not a business account. Aw, it's the first night we brought her home. Aw. Yeah. She's a pretty dog. It's very cute.

Like Christine, she blocked out as me, I think, sleeping. Or something. Whatever it is. You're already not interested in dogs. These are all a lot of me? No. Well, Christine, did you have any say in the naming of this dog?

Because it's so clearly Jay's name. Of course. Of this dog. Jay picked the name. I thought it was a really cute name for a dog. That's just it. Jay picked the name. Oh yeah, yeah a really cute name for a dog. She said J pick the name. Oh, yeah. Yeah I want you were green. I want to name doodles, dude

Well doodles, I can't agree. Let me know. She wouldn't let me name it dude. You can call it dude. Yeah Yeah, I do just say doodles doodles. It's doodles. I want to be like dude don't pick that No, she said you can do doodles. It's like dude or the other options Gemma what? Yeah, man, she's a can do doodles. It's like dude. What were the other options? Gemma. What? Gemma. Gemma.

She's a good person. What a fucking gypsy. Yeah, it's from the gypsies. Yeah, our name was either gonna be Dawkins or Peter. Yeah. She wanted Gemma, because if we had a baby girl, it was gonna be called Gemma. It's gonna be doodles or Frank.

Frank's not bad. I would love a dog named Frank. Frank's not terrible for a name. You can use, for a dog name, you're allowed to use a human name only if it's like an old fucking bar fly. Like a big, bulbous nose name, you know what I mean? You can name him exactly.

Two syllables. Ted. Ted, no. No. Clark. No. Rusty. I'm thinking like a Rusty, a Wesley.

A Wesley? You can't name him Wesley. Just like names that, remember there was a time when white guys also had black people names before that all switched up? Yeah. My grandmother's boyfriend's name was Jerome. Which is pretty hilarious.

That explains your fucking outfits for 20 years. Oh, no it doesn't. Jerome, it couldn't be more Jewish. Jerome Silver. It explains my outfits. Jerome Silver. We actually, though, we picked the name Dawkins, it explains my outfit now. Jerome Silver. We actually though, we picked the name Dawkins and then we went to Find Dawkins.

Oh really? That was the dog's name and then we're like, is that Dawkins? Is that Dawkins? Yeah. Cause I feel like I have to look at a dog and see its personality before naming it. That's me, that's me. Well when we saw her we were like,

she seems like a Dawkins. Yeah. You do fall in love with a name. Yeah, I would do a, and Iverson seems too much. It's a weird name. It's too much. You gotta keep it at two syllables. Yeah, Iverson's just a weird name for a dog. Iverson, yeah. Yeah, Ivy.

Ivy's a weird name. Well, that's what, so, my ex's dog is named Ivy. After? Iverson. Yeah. But that's a, it was weird. I thought of a good one for a little girl, and that could tie into my New York Rangers fandom. Madison Madison Square Garden. Madison's great name. It's not bad, right?

Because I can fool my wife. That'd be a good name for a dog too, Madison. Maddie. Or Messier. Good name for a... Mark Messier, full name. Get over here, sit Mark Messier. It's like Ted Seinfeld when George wants names get seven.

He goes, Mickey Mantle, my idol. And Jerry goes, how about Mickey? Seven. I had my dog was named Kelby. My last dog. That's better than Doodles dog. It's Kelly and Weatherby Kelby. That's good. And the other one we had was Diva. Diva is great. Diva was I love Diva. Diva is a great dog. Diva was my dog.

Oh, I love Diva. What kind of dog was it? It was a rescue dog. I don't know what the fuck it was Mishmash. It was a mishmash of cuteness. Look at young Dawkins before her belly got before her belly got Like larger than the hair that covers it now. She's like that spotty gut in her big old box and snatch hangs out Now she's like that spotty gut in her big old box and snatch I'd love to lay like a dog like that where you're just your paws bent your fucking snooch She's just the cutest she is a damn cute puppy. Well, that's not she looks like anymore I've noticed that the page hasn't been updated And then I just kind of lost interest on the dog

Doodles is cute though doodles super cute super kind of dog is doodles. It should burn a doodle a doodle I'm a little jealous. Yeah, he goes now. This is fine, but doodles though, right? I mean you guys know doodles makes a fucking catch a Tory Dick in the dirt But doodles I mean a cute dog, but Doodles is cute too. Sure, Doodles is very cute. I don't like your passive aggressive tone. Well, Christine's not going to Doodles. She just keeps showing her own dog.

I'm just, you know, I'm lost in how cute dog it is. Look at that one with the sneaker. Come on, kick the sneaker away. That's a cute dog. That's a cute dog, come on. I just worry that the big shaggy hair makes the face a little less expressive, and my dog really shows you into her soul Dude doodles doesn't shed. Huh doesn't shed. So already I'm gonna tell you I do love doodles more

No, I like doodles more now than I like Dawkins but All that is cute puppy. That's a cute puppy. We have cute puppies. Doodles looks like the You're seeing the clip where the dog just punches the dude? I think it's fucking, what, you know what I'm talking about? It's Shaggy Dog, it's an old movie. Shaggy DA? Shaggy DA.

Yeah. You know that clip? Mm-mm. Just, Christine, type in dog punches man, and it'll pop right up. It's a doodle. That's a Bernadoodle. It's a Bernese Mountain dog and a poodle mix

Okay, I got no shedding. I know shedding. That's euro. I didn't want I didn't want fucking shedding It's I would get that exact kind of dog And it's clearly a violation of the leash law call the pound. I already did sir. The truck is waiting outside The truck is waiting outside. Out of my way! Get that dog! He fucking slugs him. Then he rapes his secretary? It's just a stunt guy and a dog on face.

Pretty hilarious. He cold cocks him. Man, do you think Dick Van Pat never got laid from fame? Yes. That was the look back then. That male pattern baldness. That was hot back then that male pattern baldness Huh that's sexy in the 70s 70s dick van patty at a time where he was just like I need to take a night off boys

Was actually with boys Boys I'm gonna take a night off from doing whatever I do to you. I'm so over pussy. I Like when they do that's the 70 70s thing they always try to do. I think CBGB's, that movie, they do that, has a scene like that, like they try to punch the concept that these 70s guys were so drowning in pussy that they just did gay stuff to do something different. And I think they sell Iggy Pop out in that movie, right?

Doesn't a guy go up to him and he goes, hey man, you got any coke? He's like, no, he goes, you want me to suck your dick? He's like, yeah. He's like Iggy Pop just says, yeah. I go, that's just what it was? Yeah, I like when guys suck my dick or whoever. I don't care. Christine, you've got to have something up besides the

Dawkins Instagram. I'm tweeting out the Instagrams. The Shaggy DA. I want to look into before. There's so many things we didn't get to this week at all. Fucking uh. Do you want me to look at something about Jones Beach? It's Tuesday. Shaggy DA. I wanna look into before, there's so many things we didn't get to this week at all. Fuckin' uh. Wait, do you want me to look at something

about Jones Beach? It's Tuesday. OJ died, we know the story already. What's that, OJ's dead. We never talked about that. We didn't talk about, Gerard Carmichael has other shit going on now, right? Isn't he have another fuckin', people are mad at a joke or something?

Really? Like getting gay people are getting mad at Gerard Carmichael now. Why? Because he's being too gay. There is such a thing. He's being, I'm telling you, people are like, what are you doing?

And just show him like just sucking eight different toes and shit. Well, the preamble to that big emotional scene was like banging five guys. And he just has a parade of guys in the room. Sometimes when you are in the closet for so long, he's just coming out with a bang. He's making up for lost time.

Which I get completely. But I mean, this is, dare I say, shooing away a predominant fan. But the people that would just follow a black comic, to follow a black comic, like he's turning them, like those people, like I said, that's the funny, I just want to listen to Corey.

Corey Holcomb is particularly homophobic, it seems. But Corey Holcomb just, you see if you get Corey Holcomb reacting to Gerard Carmichael's, the trailer even, dude, he's like, his eyes, dude, he's like, like his eyes are coming, he's like, what, this happens? And now Lil Rel is gay just cause knowing Gerard Carmichael

he goes, I know you did something with him, Lil Rel. And Cory Holcomb's like, don't even know a gay dude or you're gonna have to do something gay with him in his mind Slave play joke it was a joke. It was taken out of context. This is a difference. This is new trouble He's in this is what you're talking about the new trouble. Yes. Okay. So yeah, the this is what he said here Um... What's what it says? Well, it says... If you want to start here. My boyfriend.

Yeah, my boyfriend, he makes me smarter. He makes me read. I have so many books. Realistically, I'm not gonna read all those books. He knows that, but the fact that I bought them says I love you. There are little moments around my apartment just like, look at this book from Amazon that I'm never gonna read. I sometimes joke to him that our relationship

is like that of a slave and master's son who like teaches me how to read by candlelight. And that's got everybody upset? Apparently. What? Well. Apparently said something that Dave Chappelle that he apologized for too.

Hang on, in the episode which was during a live standup show the joke seemed to fall flat. Oh, so it was on the show. Was some people in the episode which was during a live stand up show, the joke seemed to fall flat. Oh, so it was on the show. Mm-hmm. With some people in the audience groaning and hissing. Yeah, he groans too, because he's a good person. He doesn't like that fucking joke. I like that joke.

That's my burden. I think that shit's hilarious. Carl, are you putting the fairies music on? We've all seen that comic before. No, that's always the best move when you read this. What'd you say? I said, we've all seen that comic before. He goes always the best move when you read this, you would say? I said, we've all seen that comic before. He goes, whatever, that shit's hilarious.

Wow, the room disagreed. No, but I also, listen, I'm certain I have zero problem with this joke at all. There's nothing I'm more certain about, no problem. I'm just curious what the heat is. I'm sure this is fun. Who gives a fuck? It's just the fact they joked about slavery at all.

He joked about playing a slave like he was I guess his boyfriend's wife But it was the candlelight that really puts the oomph in some hut in the back of the house Wasn't even the main house. You know well easy. I don't like where this is going So during an appearance in the Breakfast Club with DJ Envy and Charlemagne the God. And Jess Hilarious. Is Charlemagne gay? Is he gay too?

Charlemagne? Apparently if you know Gerard you are. He's a god. All gods are gay. Gods are gay, Bobby. Oh, gay gods. Charlemagne the gay? No.

No, I don't think so. Doesn't Darnell call him gay all the time? Darnell Rollins always says he's a gay. I like that. How many years you know Darnell, you call him Darnell. That makes me happy. I like it. It's dismissive and I like it. What? Darnell? Mm-hmm.

Darnell, what is it? Darnell, you said Darnell for sure. It's recorded. We say it on the microphones and they hear it. You know what? I'm sick of your tests. It's not a test. Yeah, it's always a test. You said Darnell.

I know. You're a fucking... Because you don't choose to learn black comedians that have complicated names. You're a word... It's not a test. Yeah, it's always a test. You said Darnell. I know, you're a fucking, you're a. Because you don't choose to learn black comedians that have complicated names. You're a word, you're a. It's not even that hard. You're a word Nazi. There's just not an R in it. You're a word Nazi.

It's not tricky. I don't like it. Darnell, Darnell, whatever his name is. Whatever his fucking name is. You're on Corey Holcomb's side. Ashy Larry. There you go, he's fine with that. Carmichael clarified the joke, which he said was covered

from the punchline on and missed the setup. Oh, God. Uh, I really don't like that he said on the morning talk show. It made me seem like I was talking into some type of race, sexual, slavery role play with my boyfriend, which is untrue. It's so false. Now, by the way, he's gotta have... It's a reality show he's doing where he's showing himself

getting, uh, like, the setup to getting boo food constantly. I'd have to assume. He's got Final Call on the edits. Which that's like... He's like, fucking editors, man. They make it look like I'm sucking people's toes. They made it seem like I was fucking

trying to fuck my friend until he farted in the room. I'm not even gay! We watch that on air, right? They made it seem like I was fucking uh trying to fuck my friend until he farted in the room We watch that on air right I think so yes So ready to marry my homeboy try to fuck me on HBO. That's soft I love coming up with different names for gay sex boo-foo He continued it had nothing to do with my boyfriend it has nothing to do with the sex that we have. It has nothing, ew. It has nothing to do, I just thought about it when he said it.

When I was at the sex we have, I heard the noise of like a greasy penis. Burrow was way into a shitter. Oh god. Like a mucky, like a mucky, like. Stop coloring it up with burrow and muck. Just two pickles slapping together. He goes, wait, I lost the other thing up there. Now I gotta go in and get the other thing with this thing.

Now there's so many things up your butt. It's about my boyfriend reading so much, he makes me feel insecure about my level of reading. So it's more of a race play joke. You're saying black people can't read. Now you're saying black people can't read, Gerard Carmichael, I challenge you to now defend this. They can only read by candlelight. Carmichael said that because he has a white boyfriend,

people try to create some crazy story out of that. It's pretty crazy. You don't have to create anything. He noted it's a small group, including some gay black men and some Ku Klux Klan members who don't like that I have to create anything. He noted it's a small group including some gay black men and some Ku Klux Klan members who don't like that I have a white boyfriend. Well who would bring those two worlds together? Finally maybe they can have a conversation now

about this, he goes, I don't like it either. You know, it's like a few gay black men and the KKK. The Ku Klux Klan would be like, I hate gays and I hate blacks, but gay blacks are all right with this old races. When Charlamagne, the god, the straight god, pushed back and noted it was still not a good joke, Carmichael said that he's been a comedian for a long time

and he thinks it's funny. I like Charlamagne push back, that's weird. I like that. He's playing hard on the fucking race. Also, how about this? He's not owning it either. How about if it's race play? Who gives a fuck? It's a fucking joke. He's right I'm talking about my own personal insecurity. I mean, he's over explaining it too much. That's what it is. He keeps going

He could easily solve this No, I know I'm saying he's according to me. I'm saying he's like speak. He's like going too much He should be like if he believes it's funny. He's you like Char Charlamagne should say, I still don't think the joke's funny. He goes, you're not a comedian. I don't give a shit. You know what I mean? Like, I'll take, that's your opinion, and it's fine. You know what I mean?

Great. He reads so much, it makes me feel like, oh, I don't even know how to read. That joke works if I had a black boyfriend. If my boyfriend were black, that joke actually works better. I don't know. I don't know either. I don't think the joke works. That's the first step.

I think the joke doesn't work. Oh, he called Chappelle an egomaniac. In his Esquire cover earlier this month, in that interview he said he felt the comedian was smarter and deeper than his jokes about trans people and has more interesting thoughts. He told Esquire that his comments were meant to offer constructive criticism to Chappelle.

But they weren't taken that way. He took it as fuck Dave Chappelle because he's an egomaniac, Carmichael said. He wanted me to apologize to him publicly or some shit. Jared doing everything, really getting back in the headlines. I want to say I'm sorry for that. He's so damn awake and I'm sorry for that because one I'm a huge Dave Chappelle fan I think he's brilliant I think he's a bright light in a dying a dying industry and it's never been bigger

arenas it's bigger than rock and roll right now there's's literally... The guy was doing arenas than bands. Forget overseas, because overseas that's been going on for a long time. There's probably, what is it now, six or seven American comics, like comics doing fucking arenas. In the round. Football stadiums, baseball stadiums. Not even like rock bands have to half the arena with the stupid stage. These guys are in the round.

A couple of thousand, probably a couple of thousand doing theaters. Yeah. And then a bunch of you. And then me and you and Andy are doing clubs. About wisecrackers, April 26th to the 27th. Wisecrackers, a lot of crackers. You're doing a lot of crackers. Lewis J. Gomez made me laugh so hard this week.

We were just talking. I was talking about my last few weekends just being places wasn't selling out. Yeah. Any of craggers. You're in a lonesome, right? Lewis J. Gomez made me laugh so hard this week. We were just talking, I was just talking about my last few weekends just being plays, just wasn't selling out any of these clubs lately. And I was like, is it super big? Like, nah, it wasn't that. And I'm like, what is it? And he goes, and then we hear the numbers of our friends, this isn't a dig on them.

It's like, you know, Kil Tony's adding a second show at the Garden, and Shane's adding shows all over the place. And these are all, so it's not a dig on these people at all. What Lewis just said that makes me, he worded it perfectly, he goes, but how is it that off? Like how is it 50,000 people are coming to see Schultz at Madison Square Garden,

and I can't crank out 800 over the course of a weekend? 800 people? Less than 1.50th of the years. As we say, there's a point of that, I'm like, I get it. I'd be fine, if every comedy club I was going to was like sold out, I'd get there, I'd go, all right, great. You know what I mean, or maybe one's not sold out. You go, all right, it is what it is.

It's like, how's the discrepancy so much? Because they got visited by them. Oh, them came. Yeah, they didn't come to you. It's a trans You want to know who them is? It's a trans alien to talk to Dave Chappelle Did he say is that what happened? No, that's what Jim Brewer says happened They came for Dave I was talking they or like they thems or UFOs? No.

That's my question that's never answered by this. More Illuminati. The Hollywood Illuminati. This is a conversation between Roseanne Barr and Jim Brewer. Or they thems. So. Oh, now I'm confident it's the Illuminati. Depending on the time of day where the medication's hitting.

Do you know what it is? Roseanne was talking about Illuminati. Brewer was so high he was talking about aliens and they just thought they were having the same conversation. Absolutely. He was visited by them. Them, right? They can mess up my macadamia, Sarah Coles. Let's see, the dying industry is where we're at.

I think he's more important now than ever because comedians are now just posting clips of them doing crowd work online and calling it art. You're not wrong about that. And it took a shot at me. Shot at all of us. Yeah, that's right. I have a four-part crowd work special coming out, Andy. I'm just doing what Andrew Schultz told me to do. I know.

Dave Chappelle is an artist. He's one of the few artists that we have. What? What the fuck? I care deeply about the work that he makes, so he's just getting back in Chappelle's case. I hear that he opened up that club, and now he knows all black people are turning on him because he's sucking white toes You have Corey Holcomb talking about it

Industry plant this is the donkey of the day. That's not It's it's probably probably the third one little rel commenting on drug chromatical industry. It's all industry It's four weeks ago. How long does it show? It's that four weeks ago one. It's this one Yeah, I can watch the thumbnail over. I would love to hear airy Spears talking about him, too. He's fucking hilarious We don't listen to it though We don't listen to it though Couldn't say on no tickets dog that to a flopped and you know what to I'm talking about I was so excited me bro man from the fifth floor when I started comedy. He's a black circuit. He's a stand-up. Yeah Reggie

Some time getting blank on his last name a bro man for you. Yeah, he was a stand-up? Yeah Reggie some, I can't blank out his last name, but bruh man. He was on Martin. From the fifth floor? My bruh man from the fifth floor would come through the window. It was so cool Reggie, fuck I'm blank, I keep saying McFadden but it's not. Reggie Ballard. Damn. He was a black circuit comic but he was great, really nice dude. Maybe set up what we're watching here. It says Cory Hocum ethers laurel commenting on Gerard Carmichael industry plant claims ethers new word I gotta learn Blows him up, you know fucking fire shots, but ethers is all right erases it. It's that's the end It's like a yeah in total obliteration Brumman's review It's like a total obliteration. Last night, comedian Cory Hogan responded to... Nope.

That was just Bra Man's review. It's Bra Man reviewing and somebody else's review. I'm gonna go on Cory Hogan's page and look for it. Okay. Yeah, he definitely, like, he can't believe it. He's sucking a Caucasian man's toe. He doesn't like the mixing of races or the gay stuff. He hates all of it. He's like, it's not even a black dude's toe. He doesn't like the mixing of races or the gay stuff. He hates all of it.

He's like, it's not even a black dude's toes. It's the bottom of the barrel. It's everything that Corey Holcomb is gonna go, ew. Everything Martin Luther King didn't stand for. No. That's not what he was talking about. That white man. I had a dream.

That white man and black man can stand together on the mountaintop and not suck each other's dicks, but think of new ways to fix society. Stay out of each other's dookie shoots. Ha ha ha, dookie shoots. I love you. Thank you, Martin, Martin, Martin. Thank y'all, thank y. Thank you. Thank you

Great way down the jungle deep dole of mine in the jungle prime evil Yeah, Cory, it's I love hearing them talk it's too much it's too much It's too much too much for me. It's less than much for me because I don't give a shit I have no like hard line feelings on it. I say it's too much in the sense that I see what it's gonna cause, give me more. He could have just started sucking the guy's cock and I would have watched the episode.

I'm like, this is nuts. But sucking the guy's cock is actually better than sucking the guy's toes. I'd rather suck a cock than a man's foot. Absolutely. His cock is definitely cleaner. I'd rather suck a dick. Did you get that?

That was pretty clean. God damn it. I'd rather suck a cock than lick any toe. Did you get that clean? Do you suck a dude's toe? Maybe a gay dude's toe. No, no. It'll probably pedicure it. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. It might be a very womanly toe. Yeah, but they've been in some small shoe

with a fucking heel, dancing all night. If I ever came around to rock, I'm not gonna sleep. I would just touch my toe to his lips and see if he just instinctually go. Oh, my God. Hey. Sucking toes is the worst. Why did he do that on TV?

I gotta watch his show. Does he hate black people? Because he made them all upset that day. Black Lou got a crink in his neck from shaking his head now. We make him watch it over and over again. He's dying over there. Guy needs a ring dinger. Guy needs a ring dinger, something bad. Why is it so worse than a dick?

I'd rather. Cause they don't walk. You don't. Here's the thing. It's cause you're considering a foot is what would be the equivalent to doing it with a dick is if someone took their dick and then like rubbed it around the rim of a public like toy.

It's like living life, a foot. Yeah. It's too much exposed to the elements. Your dick sees the daylight when you're the few times a day you're naked for a little bit. And there's so many other little toes next to it it's like sucking nine dicks. I know yeah. Nine little dicks. Nine little filthy dicks. Like you're in a blowbang with one person's foot. You're like, oh let me work this pinky toe while I'm getting the big one. Just a tiny glory wall of fucking toes. Damn dude, what a toe slut. You know what you should get for your toe slut of a mother? Toe slut. Toe Moms do a lot of hard work. Anyway, what's with all this gay shit on HBO?

It's the Bonfire, everybody, and you're listening to the podcast version, which is free. Half of it's free. You get half the show. Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts? Right? It's like being half jacked off. Sign up right now at SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire

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Subscribe. I didn't see the next episode, but I guess it's ramping up the shit he put it but I'm saying like where's the editing on this because Tyler creator I feel you had to agree to Let him air that where he hits it. You didn't see it at all yet So he comes he tells Tyler creator that they've been friends for many years, but he's having Romantic feelings for him and invites him to go to the Gram or the Emmys with him. And it's awkward Tyler the Creator being like,

oh man. He's gay growing up before our eyes. Now he's got his first gay crushes. He's like, we're just brothers. And then he just starts cracking ass in the room, just trying to like make himself ugly. You know what I mean? He's like... He's like, I'm sorry about the...

Oh, oh, sorry. Anyway, we're just friends. Uh, oops, coming up on me. It was pretty... The whole time he was just eating like a slob. Yeah, he was eating gross, gonna suck at his fingers and shit. It was great. He was just trying to get a fart going,

just so he could deter his fucking penis. It was a pretty gross way to eat, although it didn't seem that gross in comparing that the guy across from him just sucked feet for the other 15 minutes of the show. Without warning. Without warning, he goes, I'm gonna go on some Tinder dates

and see if any of these guys wanna hang out and go to the Emmys. And then it's just like him making out with four different guys and then sucking someone's toes. And I'm there for it. I'm there, I hope it gets gayer and gayer. It doesn't bother me at all. It's just funny watching the world unfurl in front of this.

They weren't ready. It's too much too fast, dude. That's what I'm saying. Too much too fast in the hip hop community and all that kind of stuff. You got too many toys on Christmas morning. You can't get to it all. It seems like we just saw Ellen get a kiss on TV.

It really does, dude. And now we're sucking toes on the couch. It's like Godfrey panic changing the story on when he's talking to Corey Hulkman, the thing about the gays. It's the panic thing, it's because Godfrey's not gay. He's just panic changing the story in real time to not have anybody go, that sounds kinda gay,

because then he's been, no, I'm not! Like it's so, you know what I you know I mean like you start scurrying I would never I wouldn't sit in a car with a gay person I think you'd off a bus if I knew a gay person was on that bus you get like say that the whole face Station he panics hard he panted because God for you. I don't even know Modi He's so not against gay, but he's so not gay mm-hmm anytime something comes up. That's some gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay.

He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. He's not gay. A black guy's din are, I don't know if, the exception of homosexuality is still caught up

with a lot of black men. It's behind. No, it's behind, way behind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's doing well, it's doing pretty well. It's doing better. Can I say something? Black dudes, there's a lot of black gay guys,

but they're straight married guys who go and fuck on the weekends. Yeah. And then I catch them. They fuck children on the weekends, and then I go catch them. Like Atlanta has the biggest population of AIDS, because.

And black people with gold teeth. Because these guys are straight, they're married. Where your number's coming from. And they're going, I'm telling you, look it up. And they're going and they're fucking on weekends, they're married. Where are your numbers coming from? And they're going, I'm telling you, look it up. And they're going and fuck, they're fucking on weekends, they're banging dudes on weekends, and they're coming back and giving it to their wives and shit like that, because you can't be gay.

Whoody who. As a black dude, it's like, you can't, that's like fucked up to be gay. Yeah, I only go to Claremont Lounge. They're sneaky gays. Like regular white dudes are just gay. Yeah, that's that ATL sly style. Yep. Yeah, yeah.

Get it on the DL. Look it up, Christine. I mean, it's still New York City. Well, I mean, but Atlanta's huge, right? Atlanta's big. I'm not looking like I'm finding it. You know what, Christine, there's nothing else wanting to make you move out of the city.

It's when you look it up, it says, based on the data, New York City is the epicenter of HIV and AIDS. Go New York, go New York, go. Go Brooklyn, go Brooklyn, go Brooklyn. That's crazy. Atlanta AIDS. I mean, going by the BET Awards,

there's still a long way to go. I mean, the look of horror, like this, when they're looking at, what's that guy's name? Oh, Lil Nas X. Yeah. No, but they're not. The old school rappers. But you know what I mean. You know what I mean. No, I agree with you. I'm saying it's doing X. Yeah. No, but they're not. The old school rappers. I'm telling you. You know what I mean.

No, I think I agree with you. I'm saying it's doing better. Yes. But you're asking people to accept they're not giving any baby steps to it. That's the issue. So exactly, Lil Nas X, they were like, oh, this guy from the cowboy song with Billy Ray Cyrus, he's actually gay.

And then the first video comes out, he goes, it's a pretty gay video. But the second video, it's like him and five naked guys like slapping cocks on each other's bellies and then like hardcore kissing. And it's like, I think Method Man was prepared to say that you're a talented guy who makes good music and then you made him sit through eight minutes of you

and another guy 69ing through leather caps. And he's like, all right, man, I'm doing my best. But I don't like this. Nobody liked it. Give me a little. It was too much for everybody. He's like, because first you're like, okay. Oh, come on.

I mean, in football. Oh, come on, not in football, pink gear. No, no, this wasn't the performance. That's for breast cancer. That's not for that. The live performance was, and you just see it's like Lil Wayne and Method Man are like frozen, like they just had a seizure. What the fuck? I don't want, why do I don't want to see that?

Yeah, you know, drop the fucking nuclear bomb. It's Medusa to black people. It just turns him immediately to stone. Oh man, that's gay What the fuck in my wall look at this terrible all right little nice ex. I'm gonna go get a beer At least at least now they're wearing gay stuff at least they're wearing gay clothes Just to be the awards. Oh my god to get to the end where everybody's clapping. Oh Now they're wearing gay stuff. At least they're wearing gay clothes. Is this the BET Awards? Oh my god.

To get to the end where everybody's clapping. Oh my god. Oh yeah, when they go to the people's... They might cut it. They probably do, yeah. Ah, come on! They cut it? I mean when Madonna kissed Christina Aguilera in Britney Spears, everyone was all happy about it.

Because that's hot. That's fucking beautiful. That's not hip hop. Dude was that was pretty white women the people who have been getting cheers for lesbianism since ladies He's not Black he's a white guy, but Sam Smith came out and just went full, it was crazy how gay he became once he got out of the closet.

No, I wasn't even out of the closet, you lost weight also. Oh boy. Yeah, that happened to me. You started getting gay when you lost the weight? I always get gay when I lose weight. Yeah, you just like chicks because they'll only accept a fat guy.

No gay man will. Yeah. You gotta be too in shape to get a guy in this day and age. I'll just stay fat and get me a hot chick. I'm okay. That's my goal weight gay. I come in here. Where you go someone goes, Hey, man, you want to suck my dick,

bro? And you go? Yes. I thought no one ever asked go, someone goes, hey man, you wanna suck my dick bro? And you go, yes. Yes. I thought no one would ever ask. Yes, yes I would. Really? I really get bummed out. When I do get hit on by gay guys in DMs ever, it is, it bums me out when they're ugly.

I'm like, of course. I'm like, yeah, yeah, there you go. Of course you wanna fuck me sir. Some guy that looks like you. No, I don't wanna do that. He's got a Pantera vest on. Yeah, well I thought I'd be like a fat white chick. Like where's this fucking muscly black fella that wants to fucking tear my asshole into?

Make me feel like a lady, dude. Fucking pin my shoulders down and show me what the fuck is what. Enough of this bullshit. I want to bet enough of this bullshit. Oh my God. I wish they showed it, man. Method Man and Little Wayne.

Look at the end of the ad, it's like. It just goes to commercial and they're like not moving. They edited that, that looks like B. It looks like BET cut his reactions out. Absolutely. That's great. They just started French kissing and it just cuts to them two and it's like, what have we done? It's my favorite.

Where is this? This is BET. It's my favorite thing to watch. That's how people get fucking shot, BET. If that was the Source Awards, dude, of would have been a fucking open land gang warfare If that was the source hip-hop awards it would have been people like reaching over chairs I shoot their guns at each other everyone would have seen a fucking tech nine Clearing it would have been a clean it would be like a lot of bow at the garden a fucking take it to the streets riots

There was a source Awards Streets Riots. That was the Source Awards? Dang, dude. I wish they would have shown Onyx watching that, or said it's another funny band that's watching Onyx. Mm-hmm. Playing that two-part, I was thinking how far the world has come since the East Coast,

West Coast wars, that now it's little Nas X making out in front of. Oof. Let me tell you something. There's songs, I forget, when you go back on Rock the Bells, shout out Rock the Bells radio, DJF's. 44. When they play, there's stuff like the 90s rap, didn't even feel homophobic, yet it was.

The word, they leave it in, the word faggots in so many hip hop songs. Yeah. In a few. A lot. And by the way, not in the way you argue, like what's the big deal, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, shut up, Fiori, you faggot. No, it's derogatory.

Come over and watch it. It's like, I'm not no faggot, you know what I mean? Like this guy is a faggot. He sucks dicks. It's very aggressive. Eddie Murphy. And you're like, man, it felt so groovy when I heard it the first time. Eddie Murphy had a track on his album, Faggot.

How about this one? Yeah. I'm pretty sure there was a faggot part two. How about this one? How about the second? No, it's because it says- his album, faggot. How about this one? How about this one? How about the second? No, it's because... No, no, this is a big... I'm very involved in this. I'm very involved in this because this was my battle with the comic strip when they said I was a piece of shit

for not letting William Stevenson get beat up and calling a lady a cunt. I jumped on stage because a guy jumped on stage with him. And then me and the club had some big on social media after that, and they said that, because William called the woman a cunt. He's like, you don't call a woman a cunt. Yeah, yeah.

But there was this whole, like, you don't call a woman, and these people have never said cunt. Yep, these people have never said cunt. Yeah, rotten piss, dude. These people fucking, uh... Fucking cares. These people,, uh... Fucking cares. These people, uh... Yeah, they're so mad.

These people don't say cunt to women, and these don't say cunt, and it's unacceptable in the world, where it's so... And I wrote, the last thing I wrote before they pulled it all down, I was like, how about the two albums you have hanging in your lobby that have tracks called Faggots and Faggots Revisited. In parentheses, Revisited. You know what? I think there's a little more meat on this

Faggots. Hold on, I gotta shake the stick a little more. And it's just like, I'm like, are you worried about offending anybody besides this one cunt you seem to be dying on this hill for? What a dumb fucking place. Revisited, are you only worried about offending cunts. Yeah, you're worried about offending cunts. They had a big meeting when Patrice called the woman a cunt at the cellar. They actually had all of us come in on a Saturday morning or Sunday morning. You did it?

We all came in to have a meeting and David Tell was there. And David, David, Kevin Brennan were there just asking stupid questions. And then I remember Manny was getting so frustrated. And Dave went, OK, now what if she is a cunt? What do we call her then? What's the word we should use? And Manny just goes, I forget it.

You know, he just walked out. We always started laughing. Oh, why would they call a meeting? Oh, they had a meeting back in the day. Still happening, by the way. Comic reached out to me today. I'm going to talk to them later because they're like, she's calling me in for like a. Comic reached out to me today. I'm gonna talk to them later, because they're like,

she's calling me in for like, she wants to have a talk. Like, what am I in for? And I'm like, don't ask my advice, because I'm gonna say, burn it down. Go there and be like, go fuck yourself, you dumb old bitch. But don't do that.

I'm so intrigued. But don't do that. Yeah, me and Andy wanna know who it is. I know, very badly. I'll tell you all fair. Yeah? It wouldn't, really. Do we know them? I just don't wanna say the name. Yeah, me and Andy want to know who it is. I know, very badly. I'll tell you all fair. Yeah? It wouldn't, uh, Do we know them?

I just don't want to say the name. Yeah, you know them, but it's, Mike Vecchione. But I would as Mike Vecchione. As Mike Vecchione. There it is, Mike Vecchione. Forget it, it's out there now, now it's out there. Sorry, Mike Vecchione.

He's crossed the line, yet again. How many chances can you give this fucking off the rail psycho? God damn dude. Oh, Gerard. Poor Gerard. I love Gerard. I don't know if I can watch this. I thought it was crazy that he just whipped it. He's the nicest. He's a sweet, sweet guy.

Very talented. Sweetest guy ever. Really sweet guy. It's also wildly crazy that he came out of the closet. He's the type of guy that would just stay in the closet. I mean, he's a huge religious background, a black sitcom star. That's why it all makes sense that he's catching up with the vengeance.

I can't believe you're doing Bobby, by the way. What? Everyone else missed it, he goes, he's the sweetest. Sweet, just so sweety sweet. I said sweet. Like candy. Yeah, he's just a sweet.

Like candy. I bet his toes are like ribbon candy. Wow. That's so good. Really like his toes. How about the time when they had the big thing about, I forget, what, that big bald gay comic had the thing at the cellar where you have no gay.

They were doing a podcast. Oh yeah, about a fucking guy. Guy Branum. Guy Branum. So they're doing a podcast, cause you know, Noam's gonna bring it, he's doing the podcast. And stupid Keith was like, yeah, we got plenty of good comics.

We got this one. And he was like, he's not out of the closet. And then he goes, all right, then he goes, what about this one? Nope, Keith, you can't say that one. I'll out them right here. He outed like three comics that aren't out of the closet. That weren't at the cellar. I'll rip down the closet door.

Godfrey. Me. Rich Voss. Ridge Voss. And Bonnie McFarlane. Of course you know that little worm, Norton. I'll get Norton a plug. I didn't watch it yet, but a new episode of Swordfight? Yeah.

Is, I should make sure I had the name right. No it's another good name for gay sex. Sword Fight it's they have on his ex-girlfriend. Yeah. Orange ex-girlfriend. What's her name? Kate? It's like KT something. It's got a wacky name. No. Katie Lang. No not Katie Lang. No. KC and the Sunshine. No, I forget it. Now, it's not Katie. No, it's like KT. It's like two letters. JK Ultra. JK Ultra.

I knew it was a wacky name. Yeah, she does a lot of conspiracy. She's the second to final boss in a video game. JK Ultra. She does a lot of conspiracy theory stuff. Oh, does she really? She also fires photons out of her fucking rings, her magic rings. She's one of those people that has the green screen

with the thing behind her and she goes over all the conspiracy theories. Oh good, well that ain't bad. Now is JK also a... That was his girlfriend for a long time, they were together. Yeah, man-made woman? That's a woman woman.

Woman woman. She's a woman, yeah. God-made woman. She's a God-made woman, she has a vagina and Ev. Hilarious. But they look very similar. I know. Look at him. I know he really does.

Someone's got a type. Yeah, he's got a type. Could you imagine me a girl that he says, he goes, he goes, baby, I'm attracted to everything about you except I'd rather see a cock where your pussy is. If I could find you, if you could blow on your thumb and a cock would shoot out of your pussy.

This would work. Oh my god, would I be here? I'd get, out of your pussy. This would work. Oh my God, would I be here? Pick your ring. Well, her and Nikki are friends now. But you just got that fucking stink-ash and I hate it. Christine, why are you looking so much at the HIV of the South? Yeah, because it says New York's the winner but look at the look at the south

50% of HIV. Yep. Oh, dude. Is that per capita? That's might be you guys might have more case. We have more people straight black dudes. Well, let's not forget about Santa AIDS Texas What the Aids of Oh It's also the Northeast is 14 get the Aids-A-Mo. The Aids-A-Mo. It's also the Northeast is 14%. Never forget the Aids-A-Mo. The Northeast is 14%, but it's also like a tiny little section compared to the West and the South and the Midwest. No, for sure. Yeah, no.

Chelsea. I mean, California. I mean, you guys just bleed it out there. I'd just lie and say I was gay so I wouldn't get beat up in school out there. I don't want these gays to jump me, there's so many of them. I'm one of you. Give me a pecker, I'll kiss it.

Mwah. Damn. Damn, Christine. You got out of that AIDS-riddled fucking coast. Thank God you brought yourself up here to New York where you can raw dog strangers willy nilly. God. As long as you pull out and hand sanitize your snatch afterwards, thank god you brought your soap here to new york where you can raw dog strangers willy-nilly god as long as you pull out and hand sanitizer snatch afterwards aids free

you heard it first a poor sriracha in christine's pussy every time i finish this article i'm smelling dried cum mhm i know we gotta take a break i know don't yell at me lou i want your Andy Fiori is going to be headlining Wisecrackers

in Mokesbury, PA. April 26th and 27th. And then Rogue Island Comedy Festival in Newport, Rhode Island, May 23rd. For tickets and all tour dates, go to AndyFiore.com and be sure to follow him at AndyFiore.com and watch his companion piece for the Gerard Carmichael show, Suckin' Toes with Fiore. Big Jay is gonna be at American Comedy Company in San Diego this weekend, the 18th.

It's Murrah. Through the 20th. After that, he's gonna be in Raleigh, San Jose, and in Los Angeles at the Comedy Store. Netflix is a joke festival. Friday, May 10th. Is Bobby gonna come out on the show? Uh, I don't know if I'm gonna be.

Maybe. Maybe I might be there. Go to Big J Comedy for all his Dates and we're gonna be out there. We're gonna be out there. That's right everybody. This is actually fun news We're gonna be doing the bonfire live all week from out there as of right now We're gonna be able to have audience in from one of them We're gonna do it in the garage there and that's gonna be the Thursday. We're out there the rare live Thursday We'll be doing a two to four p.m. We're gonna have information soon.

If we fill that up, we might start opening up the rest of the week. Who knows what it's gonna be? We're gonna have a lot of guests, too. I talked to Santino might stop by. Russell Peters might stop by. Lil Nas X. Yeah, we're gonna suck some toes.

Gerard Carmichael's gonna come in and suck both of our toes. What are you gonna mean? Maybe not Gerard, but Gerard's come in and suck both of our toes. Would you let him suck our toes? Maybe not Gerard, but Gerard's white boyfriend. No, absolutely no. I want Gerard Carmichael walrus-toothing me and Bobby's fucking toes.

Just fucking. We're just like this? Just me and your toes like this? Now tell your slave joke again. Oh, what the rice play? Robert Kelly's gonna be at Club 337 in and laugh it on Friday April 19th Saturday April 20th after that in Boston Sarasota in Atlanta he took off the pizza place cuz you don't wanna brag about the pizza place anymore I'm doing a show just for pizza. I know fuck. Yeah, but for your son's pizza

Well, I'm gonna bring a home, but I'm bread my oh look at that. Where's now we're getting old by guess Who's stopping by rich Rich Voss. For the pizza? For the pizza. Jesus Christ. I'll stop by for the pizza. I won't let you down. He won't. Where is it? I'll come. You wanna get different pizza tonight now? A more hot pizza, a hot honey pizza. I love pizza two days in a row. A hot honey pizza. I'm not here. Oh, you want your, Bobby to bring it back to you? You want him to stop in the city to bring you

pizza? No, I'll go to Jersey. Oh, have a ball. Oh, yeah. Well, he it back to you you want to stop in the city to bring Well, he's gonna be a club come on 337 Lafayette that's Friday and Saturday everybody after that Boston Sarasota Atlanta all on deck Oh, you can get some aids in Atlanta. I'm gonna get a little a nice for tickets and all the tour dates visit Robert Kelly live comm or you can catch You can go to punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly for all the content and stuff and tickets yeah we'll be right back everybody's the bonfire