The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Trash Buffet (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Ari Shaffir discovers a litigious comedian and Jay reads reviews of a dicey Florida buffet.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly We had it all You're a summer bird. This is you and dawn We're with your pants rolled up to your knees in a little bit of in a little bit of water. Yeah singing away tequila go What's wrong buddy Chipotle Do you look you're not all right? No that Chipotle was a little

Little spicy. Yeah, little spicy and I might've ate a little too quick. It was spicy. Trying to. Spicy Chipotle, so you're trying to suppress something. Yeah, I don't know, something about Chipotle. It's insane how much I have Chipotle because. It's like too much. But I genuinely, and Cristina will best support this,

I don't like it. I don't like Chipotle at all. I don't like it either, but I don't, every time we're like, what do you wanna get? I'm like Chipotle. It's just the thing that's here. It's in the building. It's probably better that that's here

instead of a McDonald's. That would become a problem. Yeah. It's owned by McDonald's. I like a taco place like in Austin. This weekend they have those little taco places that have the little three tacos with a little bit of meat,

a little bit of something. It's not a lot. It's like almost. Yeah, just a little zip. Little, little, little, you know, a little bit. The chipotle goes too much. It's like a fucking big mush. It's a felonious amount of lettuce on top of it.

Yes. And a lot of that lettuce, it didn't look fresh. But they put too much guac. Well, you've got to be like Jacob, packs a lunch or something. It's like protein bars and some kind of shake he has to make. Some kind of weird shake. He has a little Tupperware.

Let's separate containers for nuts, cheese, and apricots. I did pack a lunch today. Yeah, we have fruit No fruit today carrot. You have a carrot. I know you get some type of carrot Luke Can you put I want to rock but you with the sister. It's somber energy in here I don't know how we already did a show We did the earlier show the pre-record but the energy in here is somber. Well you put on that music and you Go I Thought we were enjoying a nice 70 degree day.

We were outside. It was comfy. We had a good time. You all chipotle crashed. Scarf tacos like 5 minutes before the show. I'm totally fine. Bobby's going through a thing. I'm sorry. I see it in your eyes. It's real.

Yeah, I just don't want to dump no no no no no You know I usually get the hot sauce on like the hot sauce and medium sauce on the side I didn't put it on it. Yes, I didn't want to like I didn't want to make a whole thing But apparently making a thing is good. Yeah, that's just burned me right to my core the tacos I don't think what it Was that an apology no it's better to make a thing and ask for things on the side but it's a thing now it's a thing you like an apology no I don't know I don't know she burned your

inside she knows your insides are all Frankenstein together by some fucking quack pot doctor that's not true it's not a quack pot. He's a very fine Indian man. Yeah, some Indian quack rewired all your insides. Now your mouth goes right to your asshole or something. No, he didn't. He just took out some of my stomach. And Christine. Took out most of it.

Christine just threw hot sauce in that whole fucking jumble fuck of inside you have now. I only had, no, it's not jumble. It's just a baby stomach. Yeah, no, they took your stomach and then they tied it into a couple knots or something. No, they just took a lot of it out and then stapled the rest of it. Oh. I actually have video of it. Don't.

They have video of him pulling the stomach out of one of the holes. Really? Yeah, he does it with a robot. So he's across the room listening to fucking The Who. Is that true? I swear to God, he does it. room listening to fucking the who and he's is that true swear to God he does it he listens to music and shit he's rocking out a robot removes your stomach a robot what if the robot starts to have feelings in that moment what if that's the moment it learned it becomes sentient yeah Bobby

makes me angry take out more than half of stomach There's little three little arms inside my stomach. I hate that controls him with his fingertips Oh, I hate that so much dude. It's great. You don't have a scar. No, I know no scars We got three little scars now. They go away. They're so faint. You just have fantastic skin I do have fantastic Indian American Indians Christine's had enough of this shit. You just have fantastic skin. I do have fantastic Indian, American Indian skin. Christine's had enough of this shit. She just left, no apparent reason. Who puts hot sauce on a fucking taco, dude?

You don't just throw hot sauce. You don't throw day-changing spicy sauce on a taco without asking it. That's like putting mustard on a hamburger, man. You don't just do that. It's gotta be on the side. Oh any combination mustard ketchup mayonnaise on a burger I'm willing to accept completely. Yeah I know a condiment if you're if you for yourself fine but if

you're getting condiments if you're getting stuff you got to go to condiments on the side because you don't know people could be Dutch they don't like ketchup they like mayonnaise. People like mayonnaise mayonnaise. Here he is everybody Ari I mean he is the crowd goes wild slowly becoming an activist You you dress like an activist like you you're in the East Village raising money for the park Are you slowly turning into Steven Spielberg? You dress like an activist. Like you're in the East Village raising money for the park. Are you slowly turning into Steven Spielberg?

Yeah, he really is. Just an old Jew that feeds pigeons and puts a bench. I'm literally wearing a hat that was outlawed by activists. They made the team change his name. Really? Hit the bullets? But that's why all that was activism got rid of that. They were like, so many gun deaths,

should we change it to Grand Wizards? That couldn't have been what they meant by the name though. There wasn't like a kitschy name of like, oh isn't it funny, because it's a violent place, we'll call the team the Bullets. Well it was before blacks moved in, so it was just like cool. It was like.

Yeah, okay. Bullets were used for hunting. Yeah, and driving off rebellion. Everybody, you know that voice, everybody. He's gonna be filming his new special at the Capitol Turnaround in Washington, D.C. on April 26th and 27th, and he also has a new podcast, UB Trippin', available at youtube.com slash at UB Trippin' Pod

on all audio platforms, everybody. It's a living legend. Ari Shafir. Nice, nice, up it, up it higher. I like it. Two rock. All right, enough with the fucking special every four months, all right?

All right, stop setting the curve, you piece of shit. It's been two years. Yeah, I got another special coming out. Yeah, it's been a couple years. I know, just whatever. People are just still talking about my old one, so that's why I'm saying. Last one was great. Bobby's. I wish you'd put that out right now.

Right now. It would get demonetized in a quarter second. There is right now, Jew came out. Oh my God. Oh, the comments section would be wild. I'd like to check in on the comments. I bet there's a ton of just Palestine flags. Oh yeah, it's probably going up pretty nuts.

You came at a weird time. Bobby's going through a real internal situation right now. I don't know if you know this, but a robot went inside and fricked his seat, something tied his pancreas around his asshole. That's not what happened. You guys in the robot's head? That's not what happened.

He flunked a robot? And now he eats a spicy taco because Christine dosed him. Ew. She dosed me with hot sauce. That's you? That's your innards? Yeah, they make the, yeah, they make the yeah, that's the robot They use the robot on me and they make your stomach smaller. Oh

That angry. Yeah, that's a surgery. Oh my god. There's a fully undigested Mars bar in here Where do you get Mars bars? That's like only in Canada now they he's in a he's on a He's in the in the in the corner of the room listening to music, controlling a robot with his fingertips. Oh really? Yeah, there's like three arms going in me. But Bobby's probably fine. It was either this or kill Afghanis.

That's the two tests you can do with the robot. Yeah, you could turn a bomb off or make somebody skinny. Oh god, it's so vile looking. What the insides? Yeah it's just so violent. It's not vile, it's just making a little little knot. Making it so that I can't eat more than one taco. Yeah that's what they do. They make your asshole bigger and they take most of your stomach out. Well I made my asshole bigger. And then you can't have spicy, oh, oh, it's like spewing. So that's where he's cauterizing it. Cauterizing, that's what he did with my dick and balls.

That's the laser, he makes the cuts. I think a laser would be smoother. It's like a hole in your head. I don't know if you know this, but after this happens to you, eventually you start cumming some kind of weird, oily black substance, because that's what happened to Bobby, yeah. Well, after you had the surgery, you were pretty much on protein for like two weeks,

protein diet, and I didn't know that. I went right to Montreal like a week and a half after the surgery. Crazy. So I was out there, Jay was in the room next to me, and I jerked off, and I came black. Black?

And I didn't know what it was, so I was like... I didn't believe it. It's one of those things where you're like, Bobby's doing a little exaggeration thing Maybe his come was like a weirder color than normal But I'm sure this isn't anything and then he showed us a picture and it was black. What does smell like? Come what it tastes like tastes like come. Okay. So yeah, everything was on the up and up, but the color was there Yeah, it worked good still as lube for a guy to go back in.

For the listeners, that's lubricant. It's a short. Lubricant. Lubrican. Lubrican, really? That's what I say. Lubrican. Am I right or am I right?

Is Christine wearing a smart business suit? No. She's wearing a dumb flannel shirt. I'm gonna miss the hub. She looks like she's a working girl. No, Christine's going to, yeah. She's going in to get some ideas stolen by the bosses. Yeah, yeah, she's sitting in the microphones

at Lilith Fair. So, I wanted to tell this, wait for R to be here. Have you ever done Jacksonville Comedy Zone? Yeah, I got some advice when I went there. Should I repeat it? Don't come back? Sure, no, it's from Joey Diaz. Are you going to Jacksonville Comedy Zone?

Don't get the all you can eat. Don't get it! That's how he said it. Wow. Yeah. Too late. Don't get the all you can eat seafood buffet. Well, I'll tell you what.

At the hotel? At the hotel. Me and Young Paco's in here filming the show today. Me and young Paco this weekend went to the buffet twice. Oh, no. The advice I got was to not do that. Well, the advice we got was to not go in the pool. Two things.

But I'll tell you what, not everybody got that advice, because that pool was thumping during the day and it was just a stew of fat trans women and Prostitutes and then fat children not a not a thin child in the vicinity I mean every kid fatter than the next like just look they do they would just They would get into their floaty and then it was just their floaty for the day the floaty was on they wouldn't get That thing off the burning stretching weird noise you have to hear that plastic trying to get off those kids They just stayed in the floaty. Oh, it was uh, it's trash there, but

You don't have to stay That's what I'm saying Bobby. You should go. There's no hotel buyout though. You don't cuz they get the free hotel There's no hotel by the looked. Because they get the free hotel. There's no hotel buyout, I looked. Oh, so you'd have to pay for it. You'd have to pay out of pocket completely. Oh, really? I did do that with Adrian.

Got an Airbnb nearby. Yeah. Well, that's also the idea. When you're in Florida, too, grab an Airbnb with a pool. But I went and I even said to Paco, I was like, nah, you gotta come see, though I go, let's do the hotel. Drop us right in the middle of it,

because that place is action. I mean, it's going. It's for, it's abused housewives who are taking their kids there so the dad can cool off for a little bit. Speaking of abused housewives, you're not working at gas anymore? Yeah, he's still there. Okay, okay.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. You're not working at gas anymore? Yeah, he still does. Okay, okay. But it was, this place is prostitutes? I like the one that you kind of get a couple seconds later. These prostitutes, by the way. Prostitutes. Yeah. How'd you know they were prostitutes? They were prostitutes. They had Venmo.

They were right up there. Well, I'll tell you what. Well, I'll tell you because the staff there at the comedy club, by the way, the club is awesome. And the staff is great. And I mean that. I enjoy the room. When you're in the room, it doesn't feel like this

is what you're attached to. It's pretty hilarious. The room is a good comedy room. You can already see if I'm lying. That's true. No. I had a terrible time. And in fact, at one time, this guy just wouldn't stop heckling me. is a good comedy room. You can already see if I'm lying, that's true? No. I had a terrible time, and in fact,

one time this guy just wouldn't stop heckling me, and then afterwards, because the security guy's like, give me a sign, I'm like, alright, if I keep saying shut up, definitely that's too late. And this guy just kept going the whole time, and he was like, man, I didn't like how that guy just kept interrupting you. And I was like, yeah, me neither.

The security guy said that? Yeah, it would've been great if we had you to do what you do. Not cool back there. You know, first of all, you shouldn't have a sign. You're a security guard, you know a comedy club. I don't need to say chocolate bunnies for you to know that I'm finished.

They ask you that almost every club though, they say what's the signal of whatever and I go, throw that guy out. I go, the signal will be me saying, security, you gotta get rid of this guy. You know why they didn't have that sign? The mothership. Everybody just shut the fuck up. Oh yeah, because you know fucking Rogan can't wait to jump out of a balcony and karate your ass.

It's because they have some Mossad agent, as they come in, they take one audience member, they snap the snack, and they take its head and put it on a sign that says, silence will set you free. I love it. I mean, nothing. Nobody even wants to. From the river to the sea.

No, yeah, I assume it's not a problem there. You're gonna get enraged. I've seen people get thrown out. It's so funny, it's so fast. It's a seller, it's like waitress comes over and says shut up, and they're like, hi, you're not, what the fuck? And then they're just up. They're just up, it's like waitress comes over and says shut up, and they're like, hi, you're not, what the fuck? And then they're just up, they're just up, it's great.

I love that, I love that. The door guys are all wannabes, they're all comedians. And Paulie Shore is getting, we watched on Skank yesterday, Paulie Shore is getting sued for assault and better because the bouncers threw a guy out. He's getting sued? I guess so, yeah. How's he getting sued?

I don't know. Well, he owns the club. He's getting sued. I guess so. Yeah, I don't know Well, cuz he he leveled the house Buddy buddy. Yeah, but I used to have all Arab guys working as secure. Oh my god The guy who runs mint comedy now was a forever there Mustafa Mustafa. Yeah, that. Mustafa's in Arab? Those guys were serious. They would come up and go, shut up. But I'd shut up and then grab a woman by the neck and just drag her out. They weren't even on our tables. They come from a different time. I was laughing.

Laugh better. Laugh different without talking. Yeah, he's getting a salt and battery. Wow. By a comedian? Wait, what? Well, the door guys are all comics, right? Where is this?

At the Comedy Store. No. Door guys are. No, but I don't think that's what it is. I think they're saying. The guy suing is a comedian. Yeah, I think the guy who got beat up was a comedian. Right.

Oh, really? So he's suing Pauly or the store? Let's read it up. Let's read it up. Let's read it up. Take it off the screen, let's go from memory. Sure 56 is, yes? Reading voice. Oh, is being sued in Los Angeles by Elliot Prosciutti,

a comedian who alleges that he was detained and then assaulted by several bouncers for the Los Angeles based comedy club after he forgot to close his tab at the bar during a visit on December 15th, 2023. Legal documents obtained by people on April 4th show. Now let me tell you, can you look up Elliot Preshudi's comedy please?

What's his name? Elliot Preshudi, Preshudi? Preshudi. Do you know, I was watching, I watch all this true crime shit on the weekend. He's in it? No, there was one, I watch all this true crime shit on the weekend. He's in it? No, there was one, no but weirder, there was one where a guy killed a girl and they were talking about the guy and they were like, I asked Tony if he knew about this and they

were like, this guy was, she was like a photographer or something, a pretty well known photographer in Hollywood and they were like her, you know, crazy ex-boyfriend who was a actor photographer part-time comedian and it's him doing comedy at Kill Tony he's he went on after that to murder his girl it's pretty wild I asked Tony if he knew about that he's like yeah and he goes it was nuts because when that guy did Kill Tony he said ironically like Drew Carey or something was at the club too and the girl used to date Drew Carey also for a while they were they were fiancee. He brought her out on the Price is Right to say they were engaged, pretty wild.

I remember that girl. Do you really? She's a cam girl. Is she really? She was if it's the same one, she was around. She was like kind of like a comedian too. Oh yeah, well she was a photographer to some degree was her big thing.

Big news is she was good looking. She is good looking, yeah. But they had to break up, she broke up with Drew Carey they said because the ex-boyfriend was so nutty. Oh really? is good looking, yeah. But they had to break up. She broke up with Drew Carey, they said, because the ex-boyfriend was so nutty. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She broke up with Drew Carey because her ex-boyfriend was so nutty?

The one that ended up killing her that did kill Tony. Wait, that guy killed Drew Carey's ex? The game girl? She's dead? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that pussy. That sweet ass pussy, dude. Sweet ass pussy.

Oh, it was even the sweet ass pussy. I don't know why, but it said he forgave her. Amy Harwick, yeah, yeah, yeah. Amy Harwick, I don't remember the name. I forgive defendant of Q. He forgives her, he goes, hey man, you know what, dude, I'm over it. That's cool.

Yeah, yeah, her. How'd he kill her? He, how did he kill her? Did he chop her up? I don't know. I kind of got lost in the whole Kill Tony thing when I was watching it. I forget what actually came of it. I don't think he killed somebody chopping them up. I think he had to kill them and then chop them up. The guy who killed her was very handsome when they were dating.

And then he showed him. One of those guys, the time he was in jail waiting for his trial, got fat. It's weird when that happens. Handsome guy goes fat in jail. How do you get fat in jail? I'll tell you what, eat everything, get that commissary and just get all that junk food.

Why did I look at Black Lou when I said that? Get that commissary, that was weird. Get that, you know what, I don't know, I was looking for Black Lou to give me a nod of like, yeah, that's it, commissary. You get all that junk food because he what? He don't wanna be pretty like that in jail. Jay has a plan. Well, I'm a little worried. he don't want to be pretty like that in I like jail Jay has a plan

Well, I'm a little worried. You don't want to be pretty in jail, but also being fat in jail I feel like that could make you feel soft like a woman to them. So maybe being fat's not good either I'd want to be shredded in jail You want to be yo, I want to be I want to be pretty. Yeah, I want to be a pretty young girl I want to get all the stuff I want. Oh yeah, that's right. That's right, he threw her off the fucking balcony of her home.

The killer? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that guy and that dude. That's an accident. Yeah, you really want to throw it off someone else. I mean, it's really, it's a line to the fucking killer. But he didn't do good on KillTown.

I'm glad that me and Dawn have a ranch. Yeah, so no one can throw Yeah, I could throw out a window, but she's not gonna get hurt Bobby Why don't we go up and do the new roof together me and you best you can do is get max on all fours and push Her over him It's so funny yeah, honey, how do you want your chicken come over on the Dirty, but, being so close to danger is so weird. There's something that happens like that.

That's a pretty wild one. Just thinking about it. The guy was on Kill Tony. Listen, the guy who went out of his mind and Twyman, the guy who killed his mom. Ted Twyman? No, Jay. Jay Twyman. What? mom. Ted Twyman? No, Jay. Jay Twyman.

What? Who's Ted Twyman? The comic I started with, he was an open mic'er with me. Oh, no. But he's not a murderer. Oh, Ted, Ted. No, Jay Twyman. You know Jay Twyman.

Jay Twyman's, he became Doug Stanhope's buddy. I don't know Jay, but I know Ted. Ted Twyman. Ted Twyman's awesome. Well, Jay Twyman killed his mother. How'd he do? I don't know. Is he close call?

Just for a second, I thought he was a murderer Thank God he got off on that. No this guy killed his mom, but like oh No, statistically somebody in this room will murder somebody no yeah You gave up on it super quick too I did that's hilarious because there's just a video cut together of all the times J. Chyman was at Legion of Skanks. He was hanging out. Megamix. It was really irregular. He was a real regular, yeah.

And then he just popped one day. How many murders you think are at Skank Fest? How many potential fucking? Not only potential, I'd say possibly at every Skank Fest has been at least one person who's uncaught murder. Uncaught, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, because it's like there's no motive.

They're just like snap one day. You know what? They haven't had like serial killers like in a long time. Would do for a nice hot one. Yeah. It hasn't been like a, I wonder what happened with that. It's hard, but I'll tell you why, because of just the way everything is now,

they catch people before they can really become a serial killer. Well, I think that's what's actually happened in Hamas. Israel's just killed like six people, and there's a serial killer killing 30,000. Just going around slowly stabbing him. No one can catch him. It's just one guy. Yeah.

They can't tell that. He just blends in because they all look alike anyway. So this Elliot Prosciutti guy seems to be an improv teacher. Oh. Yes, and. Yes. Yes. Oh, Prosciutto.

Elliot Prosciutto. All right, let's see. Oh Bershudo Elliot Bershudo Go ahead. Let's see. I'm trying to figure out exactly who he is because this is the Google image on him Good-looking guy. He does look good. I like the term assault. Is that just held your arm hard? There was a video of it right done by the way, there's a picture of him with Bella salt That is go back. There's a picture of him with Bella Donna up there the goon hand on that's Bella Donna. That's Bella Donna I know from the tattoo that's him in Bella Donna. Yeah, is that now? Let me see Bella Donna. It's been a while I've seen her. Mm-hmm. That's not her now for sure interesting fact She was at the first ever this is not happening show. Why is she really? Yeah 12 people. She was one of them. She had

The moon I'm comfortable saying the most accepting asshole in all of pornography. It was inviting it was inviting It was the kind of asshole that says like is that all you got mm-hmm. I can appreciate that Jacob I know you hear that and you think a whore, but that's because your clothes minded. I like their short hair Oh, yeah, the short hair. The short hair was. You like that she was still able to be sexy with it, but it's also, her short hair though, is girl interrupted style. Like that was done in a fit of

bat shit crazy one day. Yeah, so that's like hotter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Britney Spears at the gas station. She's able to, in an in-between phase, make it look sexy again, and then you're like, oh, so she's coming off an episode, I guess.

I like a short-haired girl. You don't like that? You don't like short-haired girls? That's a crew cut. Oh, I love that. She used to rail against fake boobs. Shoulder length is good. Yeah.

You get shorter than that. But the thing is, Jacob, you're focusing, you're putting a lot of focus on not her asshole, which is the most inviting in all of pornography. Yeah. Why do you gotta be like that? Why do you have to be like that? Why do you have to be like that?

It's just preference. Man. If you like it, it's great. Why do you hate angels so much? What's your problem? Why do you hate guys so much? Do you think you have the most inviting butt? And that's your show?

I do. Are you getting jealous? Are you jealous because she has what I would say is the most accepting asshole in all of pornography? Do you think when Jacob goes to Florida, he tans his asshole in the backyard? I think yes, absolutely. I think you make sure you spread it open.

Do you try to get the sun up your asshole a little bit? Up the asshole. Florida. Yeah. You do. With that Florida sunshine. Where can you tan nude though? Right in your mom's back.

Do your parents just watch you? Just put a pillow under your belly and open up your ass. Next to the iguanas. Your mom just watches you. She goes Jacob's outside spreading his asshole for the neighbors again. Jacob, you've been too long out there. He's gonna get cancer. She rubs cream on your asshole. When I'm 30 SPF you gotta get 80! Your asshole has different skin, Jacob. Just taking the free stuff. Let him know you want us to be here forever. Or we won't. Or... Maybe! We won't.

Subscribe. Because of the... ...Hot! Can we see this guy's comedy? He's dead now? No, he's dead. Whenever your material gets... Whenever your material gets beat up too much,

you got the G's, you label it, it's perfect. We put it next to this shroud. We put it over here next to the Jesus on a taco picture But if they just say we will have Jesus Jesus day and have mass on Sundays and Wednesdays Oh praise Jesus and then like and then from here on out you can always talk about you know You like so many pick up the phone and you can be like Yes, Velveeta I just don't the thing is the only thing worse than improv is someone teaching improv.

It looks like Jeff Garland, too. I hate when those fucking Cuban Army hats were in. Ugh. I bet this guy deserves... Those fucking stupid hats. Whatever the ass-woofing this guy got, I bet he well deserved outside the comedy store. I hear, I hear, victim, victim. Ow. Ow. What? I was just saying a thing about the thing.

What, I gotta do the thing. But yeah, he didn't like, do we have him doing stand up at all? He really looks like Jeff Garland a bit. He looks like Adam Ferrara a little bit. He does, looks like both. Oh yeah. He looks like Jeff Ferrara.

Nice mashup, Jay. Thanks, dude. Thanks, bro. Excuse me. Also, his improv channel has five subscribers. I'm one of them six Let's get that up to a hundred guys, but bonfire listeners, let's get that up to a hundred I wanted to go back to that. I want to go back to that a hotel. Oh a Jacksonville again. Yeah, because all this goofy shit going on

and then One night with Paco you can hop on the mic over here for a second if you want to Paco every night We were there a gathering of Cops would show up like four or five cop cars in a shot They would come like charging through while the audience was waiting to go into the comedy club and stuff and everyone loved it was great The one night we saw what happened, actually was a bunch of cops came in and they were looking and they finally went to a hotel room

and Paco took a picture of it right here. I was inside when this was happening, but they were looking for proof of life, right, from children. No. And the lady was giving them a hard time what happened what did you hear him say Paco while he was dropping they were just like we just got to see that the kids here and then the other lady the mother

in there told the female cop that you hate women you're just yelling it that's what's happening outside while people are waiting to go to a comedy club. Just lives falling apart. It really... Is that outside in? Yes. Yeah, the inside is exposed. Yeah, yeah. What?

Yes, like that's the pool. To the left is a pool. To the left. The left is a pool. Two stories. So there's no inside, the outside is in? Yeah, the outside is in. So if you go through that to the other side,

it's a parking lot on the right, through the... It was, but I mean, and then by the way, the lady finally was just like, yeah, here's a little motherfucker, and they were like, all right, that's all, your husband said you killed them. Like nothing seems like, nothing's rattling anybody here.

This place, it's so, me and Paco were... Why you would fight, hey, can we just make sure your kid's alive? Why would you fight that? Fuck you... Why you would fight? Hey, can we just make sure your kid's alive? Why would you fight that? Fuck you. Why would you fight? I just want to make sure your kid's not dead. You want me to show you my kid's alive

because you hate women? It's so fucking stupid. Meanwhile, they're looking at the kid like he might be dead. I hope he wakes up during this. I'm going to extend this as long as I can. Oh, he's up, he's up, he's up, he's up. He's alive, alive. You can see him, you can see him, you can see him now.

It's, dude, so many face tattoos, then weirdly old people, and then a couple, at one point this black lady was screaming up at her husband or whatever who was up on the thing, and then she looks up and she goes, this motherfucker's sleeping, you can sleep at home. We on vacation, they're on vacation there. You know who's's not sleeping everybody else in the fucking hotel. Oh, that was the afternoon. Thank God

Then they do it's the place is great. It's one-stop shopping. It's not all you can eat crab legs Yeah, you shouldn't where was it? It wasn't this Jacksonville you need crab legs Where was it? It wasn't, it's Jacksonville. You're gonna eat crab legs at that fucking hotel? They get crabs in Alaska. I know, buddy, I'm telling you. Why the fuck would you? The crab legs were, it was, if I had a palm full,

over both days a palm full of crab would have been a lot. Now, I'll tell you what, I did load up on the imitation crab all day long. What's wrong with you, dude? I was raised right. That's raised wrong. Oh, I mean raised wrong. But it was, uh... I meant raised wrong.

I wouldn't eat french fries at that fucking place. I didn't either, but I did have fried shrimp. What the fuck? And I made a nice big salad every day. Oh, you ate lettuce out of that place? Well, here's also... The only advice I got was to not have that but hear me out Hear me out Paco had the prime rib

There was prime rib there it was not I guarantee it was not primary but it was some other meat Oh, maybe some murder residents where it was the color of prime rib. It was one of those kids and You can go in there. What else? Broken rib at this shithole. That's crazy. You guys are fucking mental. Uh, both days.

Load up on sauce. I wouldn't even have got eggs. Paco wore a suit only... For the prime rib? Only to dinner both days. He didn't wear a suit on stage. He put on a nice suit for dinner. What the fuck?

Because he wanted to... Because he knows how you... You better be... Act when he's treated nice. Christine could take a note from that I'd like you to wear a suit when I take you out At least a sport coat you've been to the party. What was the name of the restaurant? What was the name of it? Um? GGs yeah, that's a fancy fucking primer. No that was their fucking grade or health grade It starts at 5pm.

G, was it enough? Double G, it's back there. It starts at 5pm. At 4.57 they walk me. Two and a half stars? Are you out of your fucking mind? Two and a half fucking stars. They walk us in, three minutes, we're the first ones, dude.

We get the first dibs. Look at that decor. Do you know how easy it is to get a star at a buffet? There's still corn. They're still corn on the cobs in the crawfish Did you see that pie? Oh god. Okay. I'm gonna be honest with you. The low light was the pie The pie was the desserts with the low light of the food Bada a Ramada buff I mean this. A Ramada. A Ramada buffet. I mean this, when I said 80 times, 80 times this weekend, people asked me what I was doing there, which was pretty funny.

That looks like stomach illness. Some people thought I was just there for the card show that they were having in the Ramada. Oh, they were card show. Go back to the other one, was that Mussels? Oh, yeah, Crows. Oh, we weren't in Mussels season. We were in, there was shrimp.

Oh, by the way,. Oh, we weren't in mussel season. We were in a... There was shrimp. Oh, by the way, the shrimp, or not, it's called, it was said clams in butter sauce, but the clams also had scallops in that bowl. So I got myself some scallops, and I gotta tell you, I don't know what that was. It was not scallop. It was so tough, and I couldn't sauce it enough.

And scallops is my favorite. That's how trash I am my favorite seafood I love scallops scallops and that's not trash the fried parts trash sure, but there was a Is that is that rat shit? No, that's their little fruit show thing that's a that's a fuck that's a show the show you're right I think it's like a man-made shell. That's a scallop shell. It's a, it is, I think it's a little, some kind of scallop thing, yeah.

They put the seafood on jewelry. Yeah. Oh, God, dude. I stayed clear of the mussels. There you go. What? I jumped in on the fried shrimp for sure. Oh, God, dude.

I had some of that fried shrimp. If you're first, you're gonna use your hand, too. I don't know if I mentioned before. There's a pearl, they found a pearl So we found a pearl in one of them That's crazy. Is that French boat pizza? Go back Christine. How you ignoring the pearl? There's a pearl. That's a tooth. Actually, that's not That's not a pearl. This is seafood country buffet. That's what you had. Oh god. Yeah the mac and cheese Horrible as a Florida resident Livid you haven't what was good?

I'll tell you what's good. That's the imitation crab salad was Magnificent I would have got a bowl of it if it wouldn't look strange. How do you? Vegetables were not okay They were overcooked and super soft one of the carrots has a bite out of it How do you fuck vegetables? The vegetables were not OK. Those are canned. That's a can. They were overcooked and super soft. One of the carrots has a bite out of it. Oh my god. What is that?

Fried shrimp was fine. I don't know. Eww. Never saw that stew. Never came upon that stew. I saw that stew in the fucking Lord of the Rings. Eww. Beef tits even a dog probably wouldn't enjoy.

OK. Slow down. That's General So-So. By the way, that's the photos from the Rings. Beef tips even a dog probably wouldn't enjoy. Okay, slow down. That's General So-So. By the way, that's the photos from the restaurant itself. That's them promoting their best. Oh my God. What is that? That's crab. That's crab stuff back into the crab.

That's crab stuff back into the crab. Somebody threw up their meal and they're like, don't waste it. I guarantee they reused the crab shells. They washed the crab shells and put stuff back in. Put the crab back into it? There's no way they fucking throw the crab shells out. Cram ragoon.

God damn it. Whoa, what are those? I stayed away from the crawfish. Scrawny, malnourished crawfish. I didn't get into the crawfish at all. That's not crawfish, that's lobsters. Those fucking AIDS lobsters they got. Listen, nobody who walked through the doors of that thing.

Let me say this, I'll tell you this. Okay, tell. It wasn't busy. Of course it wasn't. It's got two stars. That's a positive. I know, and keep in mind, there's trans prostitutes flooding this place,

and they know to stay away from this crab buffet. All the food's gray. Oh. Ew, look at that spaghetti. There was no spaghetti, there was no pasta choice when we were there. They know to stay away from this crab buffet. All the food's gray. Ew, look at that spaghetti. There was no spaghetti. There was no pasta choice when we were there. They have spaghettis and beans. Who the fuck eats that?

By the way, is one of the sides just lime of beans? This is inmate food. It is light on the sauce. This is not even, this is worse than inmate food. But let me tell you something. It'll feed a crying family of five who's waiting for daddy to call to say it's okay to come home now go back what was that me go back one plate of lasagna no what is that sauce is that just a tomato slice no it's not

tomato slice clearly that's a I think that's a scallop in red I think the reindeer nose a red scallop those in season that's that scallop in red. I think it's a reindeer nose. A red scallop? Are those in season? That's that thing in the dog that comes out when he's fucking. That's lasagna with cranberry jelly. Cranberry jelly is next to it. That's disgusting. It's lasagna side of cranberry jelly.

I mean, the cranberry jelly was probably the safest thing. Is that liver in a tomato slice? That's fucking disgusting. It's disgusting. Really? That's not a red scallop? It's a fucking disgusting. It's disgusting, really? That's not a red scallop, that's a sliced tomato. Me and Paco did okay there. Paco, do you have any pictures of you in your suit? We were just two kids with a dream,

trying to enjoy a nice lunch at a fair price. What the fuck is that? What was the price? Free! I tipped. It's weird to tip at a buffet. What, you get like a voucher for food for performing at the club? No, they walk us in.

It's right across from the club. Look at the skin on the chicken. They share in the hallway. Yeah, so I'm saying because you're performing at the club, you get to eat there for free. Yes. I love that every plate that somebody took a picture of, there's only one bite taken out and then they're like, I'm out. No, you're wrong. Actually what they're doing, these fat shits,

is they crushed the corn. Look, they crushed the corn. There's no stains on that plate. They went up to the buffet, they got one carrot, one broccoli, two wings, took a bite out of the ring, said fuck it, and then they got three pieces of corn and some potatoes. At a buffet, they don't even fill their plates.

This is a shithole. Oh, this is a planted, oh wait, no, that was a different restaurant. It was like everything was delicious. Jesus, man. And what's the, can we read some of the reviews? That's nasty, man. That's nasty, that's right.

I'd like to read the reviews, because maybe, here's the thing. You're just looking at pictures. I'd like to read the reviews, because maybe, here's the thing. You're just looking at pictures. I'd like to read the reviews because the place I felt was classy, we were treated with respect. They put a tablecloth on our table. I just wanna know.

They didn't get mad when I spilled drawn butter all over the tablecloth. Can you go back up to the review chart with all the, usually there's more five star reviews. The one star review is to the end, there's not enough. There's not enough. Disgruntled like a terrible guy on NBA Jam. Disgruntled, disgruntled former employee.

That's definitely what that is. How many one star reviews? Go, scroll it, scroll it. Oh, it doesn't say. It doesn't say. That's all right. Let's go down. The most.

Okay, this place is not what it used to be. It used to be better. In the 20s. This is Valentine's Day. We haven't been here since they raised the prices from $40? Jesus. I thought this was like $10.99. I swear to God in my life, I would've told you

that was a $15 buffet, for sure. $60 now. Jesus. Here we go again, since it used to be our go-to place. By the way, your go-to place shouldn't be the restaurant in the Ramada. It should be a buffet. If it was a nice Ramada, it shouldn't be there. All the girls that are hookers weren't hookers.

They had to become hookers just to eat at this fucking shithole. Yeah, well it's right near where the poor old herring is. Me? By the way, I felt like prison. When we went to the smoke shop to get cigarettes, and me and Paco went in there, the biggest, scariest of the trans ladies was in there, and she called me and Paco gay. She accused us of being a couple.

It was our first thing. She didn't even say, are you friends? She goes, y'all together? And we were like, no, we're just friends. She goes, best friends I bet. And we just went, okay, whatever you say best friends are bad. We just went Paco does have a sweet little Filipino face He's ready to get them cheeks clapped

Put it in put it in to turn Paco into a sexy girl would not take much would not take much It's fucking insane to me hearing is out that in Jacksonville, Florida $60 I thought you were kidding when you said that's what it was now are you $60 a person for that I love that they had a bar of soap in the bathroom They probably just had one of those towels that roll around to I gave two stars because our server was nice There's anything kind of say it's a service. He kept our drinks full and frequently checked on us. That's a fair two. By the way, I will say that also.

I mean, the guy, one of the cooks came by us, he really had like a pride of like, you boys liking it? And you're like, you don't mean this. Are you really asking that? Come on, man. You don't mean this. This is crazy.

You guys, they touched the table? I hope, huh? He winked at you. you came out to the table oh yeah yeah yeah he came out he goes rockers goes hey what do you want to know what fighting stories the one time I was making a buffet back in the old golden gloves those scallops are fresh right um yes read more reviews well there's a five star right there. Staff was super nice and social, obviously that's out of everybody's mind.

Felt very welcome and was explained the price and got to look at everything before committing. And then you said, let's do it? There wasn't many people on a Friday night, so there were seats everywhere and it wasn't too loud. This next sentence is my favorite. Place was super clean and they gave you a little tub to put your trash in.

Oh. What? I know what they mean though, they're talking about, they give you a little tub for the crab shells and shit. Yeah, but like, this is, he's like, I loved it. That was a wild extra detail. Oh, by the way, I don't think the tubs match at all from things, it's just whatever tubs they have.

Yeah, it's sand buckets from people who left their shit at the hotel. Absolutely sand buckets from people. It's the lost and found sand buckets for sure. I was looking for an all you can eat crab leg place and this did not disappoint. I personally liked the other food and loved the crab legs but my husband thought everything was eh,

other than the crab legs and fried shrimp, which he loved. Dessert was kind of a miss, but after filling up, we weren't worried about dessert. We'll definitely be back next time we come to Jacksonville. I couldn't see Lanningham being, before we even go to the hotel. Let's go. Let's go to the thing that's in the lobby of the hotel.

My mother-in-law found her new favorite, all you can eatat crab leg joint. Oh, she invited my wife and I to try this place. Oh, dude, interestingly, the restaurant is located in a motel. It's not a hotel. It's a motel. What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? Pass the comedy club inside.

Can't make this stuff up. You have a legit pass, everyone waiting in line at the bar, at the show, blah, blah, blah. I mean, this is a long one, this guy. The buffet is $40 without crab legs. Fried shrimp, nope. Peel and eat shrimp, decent, oh, there you go. Boiled, oh, mussels, nope.

Crawfish, bland. Fried oysters, bland, I didn't try them. Crab cake bites, I didn't try. I love this, let the end, listensels, nope. Crawfish, bland. Fried oysters, bland, I didn't try them. Crab cake bites, I didn't try. I love this, let the end. Listen to this sentence. What was not disappointing was service. Absolutely top notch. So that's their thing.

The tricks never got halfway empty, and the bucket for empty shells never got to half full. Phew. That's their thing. They love the service. The service is clearly good. Service is clearly good. You can have a shithole

as long as you treat the people right Let's see what Nancy V has to say she's from Atlantic City another shithole that gives you a bunch of crab legs Oh my gosh. I wish I could have gotten a full refund I told the waiter the food was horrible and he said most people like it What the by the way, you're a real you're already a cunt when you do WTH, question mark. What the heck? What the hell or heck, yeah. We were offered $39.95 for their buffet or $69.95 for the crab legs, which were just clusters.

Which is true. My first thought after eyeing over the buffet was to leave, but since we were there to see a show, they were still seeing somebody on stage. Let's see who was on stage May 7th, 2023 at this point. Yes, yes, please. May 6th. Who was this lady there to see?

Yeah. Can you look while I read? Yeah, but sometimes you can't go back on the list. I know, can you look while I read though, I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. We were there to see a show, we stayed and only got the $39.95 option. Well, if you don't get the crab looks,

how can you really comment, Anthony? It's true, yeah, you're being, it's her fault. I'm reasonable. There was not one thing edible. What's that, Bobby? She had to the end sentence, we should have donated the $100 to a worthy cause. To this awful dinner.

It's so great. Well, maybe the salad, which the lettuce was wilted, I didn't find to be the case. The deviled crab tasted like bread crumbs and spices in a crab shell. The shrimp had absolutely no taste. The soup, shrimp and rice, had only rice. I think there were tiny pieces of shrimp,

but I couldn't tell. This place had the worst food I have ever eaten. A one star is being generous. Wow. Save your time and money. A one star is being generous. Wow. Save your time and money. At least the show was good. Oh, we gotta see who it was. It was probably Ari.

That's why he's checking in. You know, I was down there. Did see a lot of bar fairs in the audience. Nancy V from Atlantic City. She was pissed. You vacationed to a Jacksonville lady. No one does that. Would you go for shark teeth?

Christine, go to another review. I want to hear another good one. Give me another goodie Let's see a four. Is this another one? There you go for I went there for Thanksgiving with my family What a piece of shit Oh Working in hotels, I had an idea of what to expect. However, what I received kinda exceeded it. He expected nothing. When it came to food, there was something here for just about anyone.

I'm mostly vegetarian and was able to walk away full. They had all the Thanksgiving fixings of collards, turkey, ham, roast beef, mac and cheese, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole mashed potatoes Blah blah blah as long with the salad bar while the food itself was hit and miss The mac and cheese and green bean casserole were and the stuffing had a weird lemon taste that clashed hard. How is that a four? Christine I can't see

Their service was spot-on given that we were a family. Overall, I walked away full with little complaint. That's a nice person. That's a person who doesn't look to complain. Yeah, I bet they work there. Because that buffet is, it's crazy. You're a piece of shit person from Thanksgiving, you went to the Ramada Inn buffet. Oh my God.

You're garbage. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Bobby. Oh sorry. Ease up dude. Sorry. I hear you. I don't know if you know but DJ Lou spends

all of his Thanksgiving's in the back of a bar. I apologize, thank you Jay. No it's not bad if you go. I mean you gotta do what you gotta do on Thanksgiving. Yeah, on Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving. No, yeah this is stupid to go to a fucking buffet at a hotel.

You go to a bar. You go to a buffet at a bar on Thanksgiving. Yeah, you have the turkey sub in the back. That's why I want to get a house. I want to have Lou for Thanksgiving. I want to have a Lou for Thanksgiving. You want to come to my house for Thanksgiving? Fine at the bar.

I have a great Thanksgiving. You do have a great Thanksgiving. Wow, that fucking, did you catch that? That to my house for Thanksgiving? I'm fine at the bar. I have a great Thanksgiving. You do have a great Thanksgiving. Wow, that fucking, did you catch that? That stung like a motherfucker. He's fine at the bar. This guy would ride a bicycle into the city to go have lunch with Dan. You invite him to Thanksgiving, he goes, I'm fine at the bar. Wow.

You don't want to come to my house for Thanksgiving? He's got a tradition. That was horrible. That was really mean, Lou. He's got a tradition. He doesn't like to disrupt it. I'll invite Dan if you want that. I'm not in need of a Thanksgiving. I got one. I didn't say you disrupt it. I'll invite Dan if you want that. I'm not in need of a Thanksgiving.

I got one. I didn't say you were homeless. I just said you want to come over. Did you say would you like to enjoy Thanksgiving? Ari came one year. Ari, did you have a good time? I... I mean, did you have good food?

I had great food. I forgot about the guest I invited. I've never seen Ari. I just heard this story recently. I'm just wandering around trying to get away. Trying to like nicely get away. Being worn out mentally. It was a yapper at the party.

It was a yapper at the party and you can't mix worlds. I mixed worlds that day. Other than that though, the food was great. Everyone who mixes worlds, it's like, no, no, they're fine. They're my friend from there. It's like, okay, it's not like I haven't seen this before. And then it's a bunch of comics huddled in a corner, desperately trying to get away from one norm core person. Yeah, yeah, it was, I've never seen Ari that mad.

He literally left, he goes, I'll never come back. The following year, I went to Ecuador to get away. Ari did his back though, when Ari had, he had a barbecue at his house, and he said comics only Don't even bring your significant others. I said I don't give a shit if you're married I remember that and then it turned into a fucking art school hang That's out of my control and I desperately I'm sorry about that

I just not the way I intended I intended only comics and I feel terrible I'll tell you what that day you weren't being Ari Shafir master of chaos You were being Ari Shafir, master of chaos, you were being Ari Shaffir, sweet guy from the Lauren Compton podcast. Fuckin' sweetheart daffodil that just knows how to treat a lady. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene. Is that my British charming?

Is that Romeo in black jeans? What a sweetie. That must be flutter face Ari. Did you do the dishes that day? What a sweetie pie. You worked hard too, honey. I'll do the dishes. I'll take the dog out. Did you go take the dog out?

Sit down, relax, we're your friends. I was so mad when that comic showed up. I was like, what the fuck? It got deep. I had explicit instructions. And then the one was, I knew it was over when I went over to the food table and I walked away because I heard someone have,

a couple girls having a conversation, like what's your rising sign? Oh God. And it's like, well this cloud, it goes over a fire sign and Justin go, and then I hear Justin's voice go, it goes, my fire sign. I was like, oh, Jesus Christ, Justin's in the middle.

He was in the middle of it. He was the only one cross pollinated. Yeah Christ, Justin's in the middle. He was in the middle of it. He was the only one cross-pollinated. Yeah, because Justin's a borg. He'll assimilate to wherever he's at. Oh, dude, Justin. He turns into a gay farmer upstate. Dude, one of the comics girlfriends at that party showed a dance choreographed dance or something video.

It was 25 minutes long. And Justin watched the whole thing. Oh, I was. And she's with somebody. Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. We flipped it over on Jacob too. I left Jacob and her just sitting there, and they had to.

I know, I started texting with Jay, and Justin's. He's getting hot-chicked. He got hot-chicked. Hot-chicked for someone he knows has a boyfriend there. There. And it's like, this isn't gonna work, buddy.

You didn't invite single women? It was like, chicks with. Oh, little comics. Yeah, but. Single comics. There was single women there that weren't, that were with people? As soon as one person brought their girlfriends, I was like, that wasn't allowed. And then it just floodgates open.

Floodgates open and then. Surprise someone else from my normal life just surprised me. And then just like the staff from the deli on the corner. Yeah, it really was everybody. I was just like, and everyone, rightfully so, was like, well, I thought we couldn't bring my friends. Yeah, and everyone else was like, yeah,

I think Colum, Terrell was like, I think my wife, I have my wife at home. Yeah, he was like, no, you said no other people, but I can bring my wife, right? I'm like, no, Colum. He was like, no, just comics. It will mess things up. Comics only.

You invited me and told me I couldn't bring my family. Yeah. Right. That sounds right. That sounds right. I was even like, Isabelle. Isabelle, she did comedy the one time. And I was like, look, I love Isabelle, but I'll tell her.

If you want me to call her and tell her, it's comics only. Your plan fell apart on you. The plan fell apart. I still agree with the plan. It will make a better party. Oh, no. The plan, listen, everyone that came, with the plan. It will make a better party. Oh no, the plan, listen, everyone that came, signed the agreement.

Signed the agreement. Verbally going like, okay, I'm leaving my family, I'm leaving my children, I'm leaving my loved ones, I'm leaving my significant other, my new girlfriend who would really love to be a part of something like this, whatever it may be, you're walking away from that because you're like, it is gonna be a great thing

with an all comics party. That would have been great. And then everybody came. And then that led to resentment from people who were going, well, I noticed this person didn't even ask and just showed up with eight of their friends. At one point, another party just came over.

Yeah. What? At that point, I think I was a bit drunk and I was like to Corinne, I was like, Yeah, I was like, Corinne, come on, bring the, I assumed it was all comics over there too. Nope. Come on over if you wanna watch the fireworks.

And then it was like, oh. Oh, it was Corinne's hairdresser. I'm only comedy adjacent and I can't believe it. No, no, no, you count. There's certain people that count. It's not about... It's just about if you're in the scene, really. Yeah, Jacob, you were no question.

Yeah, you were in. No, no, it was a question you asked, and I said, correct to ask, you're in. Oh, no. You said... But no, I'm saying you said no question. You were like, yeah, for sure, Jacob. I can hang, but this one girl was showing her extended dance routine

and some other art piece and just... 20 minutes....engaged. It's like I'm happy when comics fuck out of their league, showing her extended dance routine and some other art piece and just engaged. It's like I'm happy when comics fuck out of their league, but that's you. We're not getting anything out of it, out of this fucking dolt. That is. Get it out of here.

Did you say anything? I was texting with Jason on the side. Did you say anything? No, so next year I have to just put a sign on the door that said if you show up, if you have a non-comedian with you, I will turn you away. Don't get embarrassed, don't get on the elevator. And then on the front door, it's like,

I was serious about the elevator sign. I will turn you away, it's best just to walk away. And then I'm gonna be like, hey, I set multiple signs. Sorry, you can't come in. Who was this girl, your friend's Your girl? No, no, no. Comedians, comedians, other. Yeah. And nobody knew her.

No. Interpretive dancer. No, no one. Ah! No, it didn't matter. No, no one, not like that. And by the way, yes, this isn't even a dig on her. It was just what you invite when you say, everybody come.

If you go in knowing say, everybody come. If you go and knowing that, we showed up thinking we weren't gonna be subject to watching somebody's full rendition of Swan Lake. And it's not like it's a big place either. There's nowhere to go. There's just some freedom you have when it's all people you trust with a solid, you know,

ravished joke, as Kumi would say back when he was on this network. No, you're not wrong. At least my party, my Thanksgiving party was comedy people. It was all comedy people. Yeah, but no comedy happening. I'm still mad about it. I remember when.

My faux pas does not excuse your faux pas. I think I heard this story recently because I had a similar thing, the same person, an observation almost. I was like, oh, do they suck? Oh yeah, I already realized that a long time ago. It's so funny when you're like, I'm just gonna quietly realize this person sucks

and then wait for someone else to be like, I think they suck, oh, I've been here. Welcome to the suck party. I felt so bad too, because you brought your girl and that was like a big thing that you and your girl were coming to my house. But the service was good. We broke up because of that.

The service was good. The service was good. The service was good. Service was fantastic. Service was fantastic. Always full glass. It was Ari, his girlfriend, and then this person. There was a couple other comedians.

I brought like... Mushmouth. I brought Mush, and then Mush was with his roommate who's a big dude, and he was like, my roommate has nowhere to go. Well, at the end of the thing, my wife was like, she has the big turkey, because I said, you get a big turkey, I don't care if we don't, whatever.

And I was like, do you guys want this? And remember he took the carcass? Took the carcass. I'll make soup. I can make a bone mouth out of that. My wife goes, I don't have anything that the carcass can fit in. She goes, I only have the stuff we're getting at.

I remember he grabbed the carcass and just snapped it. He murdered somebody in the past. Put it in his pocket. Just snapped it up and put it in a fridge. He snapped it and we were all in horror watching this little chubby Mexican kid just snap a carcass into fours and then mush it into this container

that it shouldn't have fit in. It'll fit. And I go, why are you taking that? He goes, soup. I was like, all right, whatever, man. Man, what a fat answer. Don't they live in Texas? No, his friend lives here.

Oh, okay. You need something for the plane, Christine. Yeah, I'll pick on the plane. I'll pick at this. When I said you want the leftovers, I meant the leftover turkey, not the fucking carcass. It's also just something you said.