The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Traveling Funk with Mike Finoia

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

America's Amigo Mike Finoia has a new radio show on SiriusXM's Grateful Dead Channel. Mike is uniquely qualified for the gig because he knows the music and he knows the smell of deadheads | Everyone takes a turn doing their best Sebastian Maniscalco impression at the expense of DJ Lou | Jay and Bob have criticized the comedy special of David Vox Mullen and he has taken the high road by embracing their notes and even making merch out of Big Jay's comments! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the magic's been hanging out with his black girlfriend again. It's the joy. She said something recently to him about, like, oh, you don't know this? This is old school. I don't know anything according to her. She goes, this song my grandparents met to.

Is she black? Yeah. Yeah. I thought she looks more Indian. You look something different than you are Wow you stick up for her Like you stick up for Eddie Vedder You just snap

I mean those are two loves He really is two loves His girl and Eddie Vedder You can take a hot shit On his twin brother's head He don't give a fuck Doesn't give a shit He'll fucking stab you in the neck

Immediately you talk about Eddie Vedder and his chick His black chick I don't know why is that an insult And white Eddie better She's American But so is he Why is being in looking Indian

Or a little Indian That's not an insult It looks like she has Indian She has a good hair. I took it, I took it wrong, you're right. You did.

I mean, isn't that the dream of all black girls have Indian lady hair? Yeah. You're right. Right? And she has nice long hair. Yes.

She does. She has beautiful hair. She didn't buy it. It's probably because there's Indian in her bloodline, and you should apologize to Robert for your overreaction. I am sorry, Robert. She doesn't have that nappy hair. She has beautiful,

whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I was just talking about those people. Whoa. Lou.

I am sorry. Geez. No, I like what he's saying. She has normal people lips. She has a thin nose. Her fingers are not ashy or nor her elbows. A thin American nose, for sure. Does she have creams and stuff at the house?

Oh, yeah, the best skin. Oh, no, that's not my question. Is there a lot of, like, creams? Cocoa butter. Oh, because of the ashy elbow thing? Oh! Wow. Damn, dude.

You just said what I said. You should talk to her. I think she has a little something in her. Not just, she has a little something. She's a mix. Yeah, lose dick. Oh. Motherfucker.

That's the kind of burns you're going to be catching all day from our guest. Mike Finoa in the motherfucking house. Chicks love dick. Mike's got a new show. He's, uh, he's, uh, he's part of the... Chicks love dicks. Chicks love dicks. Little dicks.

Chicks are. Little dicks. I love chicks with dicks. Chicks with dicks. Chicks with Dax Jacks Man Will that ever be shouted

by a group of thousands Yes Soon as you think This country keeps going The way it is Jay Will that ever be yelled up By a group of thousands How good

Jacks with Dax If we ever get a trans president We got to do that That will not happen in our lifetime You don't think so No I don't We're so close

That's not even sort of true Unless they keep it a secret until the last day of the term. Oh, yeah. Tell me, you show me the trans that's passable, that's also got it in them to run for president. You're either dedicating your entire life to be as much as a woman as possible,

so you have to surprise people last minute with your big, huge flopping dick. Or you could be a Janet Reno-looking fucking bitch and in politics. Janet Reno, what a pull. No, yeah, imagine like a lady with an Abe Lincoln beard to cover her Adams apple? Yes, yes, that kind, like a Chas Bono.

There's a girl out there. Right now, we call them unicorns that has it all. Absolutely. And I will vote for her immediately. Bailey J. for president? That makes sense to you? Oh, my God. Mia Isabella for president?

No, she's too talkative. What are you talking about? What do we need in the house? No, and her dick's way too big. Dick is way big. What if they identify as president and vice? Okay. I don't mind that.

No, they, them. Now, do you think, are you thinking more of like an M. Rose, like a tiny little penis chick with Dick president? No, I think for an American, we have to have an American cock. It's got to be perfect, like the American, you know, standard. You can't be too small. Like eagle wings on the side? That wouldn't be bad.

High cholesterol. She shaves her bush fat into like fucking the flag. Yes. We, I think it's, hers is a little too small, I think. I think her weenie is a little too small. Okay. And Mia Isabella, too big. How about the other one we had in here?

What was the name of the other one? No, no, no, no. That was that one? No, no, no. Mia Isabella came in with another latest set over here that Christine discovered eventually was a pretty good-looking guy with a pretty big dick. Yeah. And then became a strange-looking lady with a, I guess, okay-sized dick. Yeah, I don't like that she puts a flannel on and calls it a day.

Is that a prerequisite? You have to have two first names like Mia, Isabella, Bailey, Jay. Not bad. That's a good point. It's quite a lot of that, huh? Emma Rose. Emma Rose. Yeah, I think you do have to have two first names.

They just have to be both women's names. Two girl names cancels. You have to take all those letters and make your original name. Ralci. One boy name equals two girl names. We should say this weekend, Mike Fanoia is in Sugarland, Texas, and Biloxi, Mississippi with Ron White, on tour with Ron White, as we speak. And starting this spring, you can hear, Mikey, this is big news.

Every Saturday night, his own show on the Grateful Dead Channel 23, right here on Sirius X-N. I'm going to give it a shot. You know I fucking hate the dead I hate fish But I'm gonna give you a I'm gonna one night on Saturday

I'm gonna get in a chair A nice boring chair I'm gonna fucking Maybe outside with a cigar And I'm gonna put your channel on Okay I'm gonna give it a shot Thank you buddy

I'm gonna give not you Because I believe in you Okay I believe in you You I believe in You I believe in Did your teeth done You look good

Yeah it's sparkling dudes They look great I'm gonna give I'm going to give the dead another try. Is it all dead? All dead, all day. All dead all day? All night.

All night. Oh, God. All dead all night. Why don't you let me know what night you're listening and I'll play the most boring fucking dead songs? I think you should, I think, Mike, if you time it right, there's a way Mikey could talk in between a song enough

that you can make a song. With the amount of time that you have talk time versus music time, I bet you can stretch a song out the entire time. I totally can. All right. We're coming back with the third stanza. of... Right now, Mike, you don't have to worry about what I'm listening to because every song to me is boring.

So, I mean, I just don't like them. I don't get it. It's okay. But I'm going to give me a shot. There's no song at all ever... I mean, they made a song for the world, and I have to say, it pretty much worked, right? Touch a gray. Touch a gray.

I mean, put on touch of gray. Come on. I like touch of gray. It's great lyrics. You like more dead than you think you do. Well, I like... That's true, Jay. You like way more than you think you do.

Come on, this song rules. I just think it's kind of goofy. They came out in the 80s and they were like, hey guys, listen, here's a song for you guys. Here's a song for you, the regular people of the world who just like music and don't want to experience something with every song. This is the part that goes on too long for me. And then his voice. The guy was dying always. He always hits him in his throat.

It's all right. It sounds like he can, and don't please, don't attack me like Lewitt if I was talking about Eddie Vedder. please I know that you love them but it sounds his voice it's all right it sounds like he can't sing but he's singing you know what bobby does that make sense sure he does he can't sing you're right he's not a good singer he's he's one of my favorite singers but he's not a good singer he's not better than journey yeah really i like him better than that's why i don't have a show on the journey channel no you like him better for sure but i'm saying talking about like a talent of voice i'm not talking about how people sound versus what they...

I'm talking about talent. Eddie Vedder doesn't have... I'm so sorry. He doesn't have a good voice. He does a music choice that makes sense for what he sounds like. Right. Jim Morrison doesn't have a great voice. Here he goes. He didn't. Not at all. Can you just deal with the question was proposed to you? I agree. Yeah. Okay.

But melodically, it works for him. Melodically, good word. What you're talking about good voices. There's like Meatloaf had a good voice. Sure. No, no, no. Of course. Steve Perry has a great voice. Great voice. Yeah. Great voice. Absolutely. Lee? It's a thing.

He has a thing. Mark Knopfler? Thing. Thing. He's a thing. Ozzy Osbourne? Yeah. Ozzy Osbourne? It's a thing. Thing? Huh? I thought Ozzy had a good voice. It's a thing. Only he can sing it like that.

Let me ask you a question. Yes, sir? Do you like Crosby Stills, Nash and Young? That harmonizey type shit? I don't like the young part because I think he is not a good singer. He's a terrible singer. He's a terrible singer. He's a terrible singer. He's a good singer. But he, that's his thing. You know what I mean? I get it. I think a lot of these dudes probably got from this era, Neil Young, Grateful Dead, whatever.

They kind of like fell into it, and they're like, well, you're the best of the worst singers. Right. I think that they're great musicians. I think they love jamming, and then one guy had to sing, and they picked the best of the guys that could sing. Well, Bobby, also, you're not,

I'm surprised you don't like the Dead more because... Or are you a guy who, like, do lyrics smack you? Yeah, lyrics hit me. Because that's why I'm surprised. Touch of Grey. I thought it's got such like the concept of the... the song. Every silver lining's got a touch of gray. It's such a good... Yeah. It's a really well-written song,

but you know what? I'm telling you. Let me know what day you're listening and I'll play it. Don't play the worst. Play touch of gray over and over again. Play the best. Let me hear the best. Trucking you like. Yeah. Again, it's like trucking. No, trucking stinks. Tuck doesn't stink. It's not good. Friend of the devil's a good song. Really good song. I don't know. It sounds good. I like all of it. I like the devil. Anytime the devil's in the title,

it sounds kind of... But I bet it's not... like devily. No, it's not devily. Probably hippie, right? I think if I did drugs, I would like it more. If I could get high. If the Grateful Dead is what gets you

back on drugs, mission accomplished. That'd be great, wouldn't it? Let's do it. If I just became a deadhead? That's it. I just fucking smelled. You came back the right way. Just psychedelics.

You leave your family. I just smell and fucking travel the country. Do I smell? Sometimes. Bad? Good. I'm going to call you Bob Haney. You like that?

I love you, Bobby. You're Bob Hanian I love one I love a I love when people grab my muscles Dude I would love to see fucking Bohemian Bob

Boho Bobby Boho Bobby Just fucking traveling around Making grilled cheese Yeah I make my own hats out of T-shirts Yes He goes

It is what it is bro Hey man He just gotta go With what you go With Bobby's smoking a cigar In a leather jacket Being the head

Of the fucking Noss Mafia Final fat with a pH Yeah It's a good idea I don't have A friend Shut up.

That's how Jay would do it. That's it. Hope I'll get some sleep tonight. What is that? It's for a hobobob. No, it's too sexy. You need dirty. I'm not a fucking...

You got a holocaiths. You got to look up Bohemian wigs. Yeah. That's too hot. It's got to be dirty. I'm not going to wash it. I'm traveling. Maybe some dreads.

If you grew your hair, where would it grow? I'd like Bobby with some white boy dreads? I would have hair all around the side and then a nice little baby curl on top. Do you really? You get it like right here? Right here I have a patch, which I do. And I get the shower curtain. You get it?

I have like, if I let it grow, I have like fucking. So stupid. We should let our hair grow for a year. Let's do it. And just see what happens. Can we have, can we get two of these? Can we and Bobby both for these? Our dicks wouldn't touch one pussy in that year.

I just don't, my dick doesn't touch a pussy now. I had a fight this morning with Don. I'm like, I keep giving you compliments. I keep telling you you're pretty. I keep snuggling up to you. I keep doing all. all the stuff that my therapist told me to do, and you give me,

Lugats. Could you do, I was last night, in the middle of the night, I got a hard on that I almost took a picture of. It was so good. It was filled, I will next time.

I didn't even think of that. You should have. I didn't think of that. Hold do U-Gatz. Dude, it was... To your butt. Now, granted, I was lying and all the fat was, you know,

but I had it with my hand, and then another hand. Nice. And I was holding it and it was full. You know how your penis sometimes can fill completely. Right? Just so the world understands, I want to make sure we're painting the picture correctly. Yes.

Because I understand what you're doing. Two fister. Sure. Two fister. I've gotten two fists on my thing. Yeah. That bottom fist, though, is really pounding down into your fucking base. It's down to the bone.

It's down to the cervix. You got a pinky in the butt. It's down. And the top, and the bottom fist is also actually two fingers with the two bottom ones resting on your ball bag? Yeah. There's ball skin coming through the finger creases. Oh, I was pushing with all my strength.

The first one's doing, the right arm is doing the heavy lifting. That left's just getting the grip of what you're exposing. Yeah, it's tying off a balloon in. I was slapping it. I was slapping it. Knocking around, I call that. I'm sitting there. I'm like, this should be in something.

This should be making a girl go, uh, uh, and then that last, uh, meo. Nothing. No. All I hear is. No. Oh, God. Meanwhile, you're fucking alto clarinet in your fucking wang.

Oh, man. I almost... I almost... Clearing the spit valve? I actually turned on that... I had my phone in my hand, so I went to that Philly porn girl, and I brought up a video, and I watched with no sound a little bit of the video of her, and then I shut it off. I was like, this is too creepy.

My wife is right there. There's a vagina right here. I could just stick it in I think it might just stick it in I mean I might just just How long have you been married? Uh Fuck dude

Coming up on 19 years You could do that Imminent domain or something like that Yeah Public domain It's public domain It's public domain Doesn't like two feet of everybody's yard

Like belong to the state It does yeah I think that brick wall in your backyard Not yours That's stone wall Not yours I think marital rape is off the table after 15 years. I think you say that.

Yeah. It would just take me so long to just rub it for it to break the seal and the lava to come out. Yeah. I hope you get her pregnant and make her have an abortion. I'd have to put a pussy in the microwave to fucking heat it up. Oh, my God. What if you dream raped her? What if that happened?

Every day of the time. Yeah, if she wakes up while it's happening, you act like you just woke up too. I did what? Oh, my God. We don't have sex. Conscious. We must be having sex. Unconscious.

There was a time where I was having sex dreams. And I was, I think I told you this. I was, I, the Indian on the butter, remember her? Yeah, Linda Lakes. I was, I saw her by the river. And I went down to her and we started making out. And we were just fucking passion kissing. And then I woke up and I was making out with dawn.

Apparently in my sleep, I was, I guess I rolled over and started kissing Dawn and I woke up and I was kissing Dawn and she was up fully making back out with me and I was like I'm not going to fuck an Indian I'm not going to fuck a Polack from Everett Massachusetts. Yeah It is different. Bobby falls asleep

Not like DJ Lou who gets that sweet Indian loving every single night. Bobby falls asleep and he's buttering an English muffin. What's up? We should order two of these and listen to Mike's show with dreadlocks on our head. I think that's perfect. That's exactly what my hair would look like. I'd have to

shave like a little circle on the front dude imagine male pattern baldness dreads they have terrible that up that has to be yeah that happens what he's talking about of course it happens a comedian warren hutchinson's going through that yeah um why clef jean went through it for a while and then what's the biggest dude billy ocean looks fucking stevie wonder she's the worst eddie grant does he have him i don't know but i'll tell you that fucking uh for sure billy oceans are gnarly whoa look at that one right there dead center oh that's rough but they got they probably went bald from those dreads right don't you go bald from dreads i think it's not we're not buddy because we're going to put dreads over our heads

whoa look at that do you know about dreads being in the culture shut off i'm just what's the culture like someone's definitely asked you to tighten their fucking dreads before someone's just you to twist the fucking bases before you've been doing this while you were telling a story he goes yeah dude fourth set tonight was sick yeah you've definitely you've definitely been in the Tipy Titan and dreads. No, I will tell you, and you know how germaphobe, I don't fit in well to the things I love. You know what I mean? One time I got a rogue dancing girl dread in the eye, and, like, I was convinced I was going to get, like, look-eye.

Like, one of I was just going to get my eyes. I was going to fill with pus and gross. Like, every time I sneeze, like, Grateful Dead Bears are going to fly out of my eyes and stuff. But I got, like, a dread in the eye, and I got, like, I need to go, like, rinse my eye. Might be if Felix Unger went to fucking. Wasn't Felix the uptight one? Yeah. If you went to like fucking dead show,

is Mike said, people were dancing around and like just keeps spraying them with like Lysol and stuff. He keeps picking up pieces of dread with his umbrella. One time at a fish concert I turned to my two friends

and I go, do you ever feel like it's us versus them? And he was like, what the fuck are you talking about? The audience? Them versus me and my two buddies. Because everyone's like loud and dancing

and having to get to and I just want to be like... But they are like smelly people. Not all of them. But there are smelly people. Just like there are smelly people at, you know, Aerosmith concerts. I would say there's more smelly people.

I would say if we had a smell test. I'm sure. I'd say the smelly says of the smelly go to what you go to. Yeah, well, you. But you too. That, that. Juggalo. I mean, that's the smelliest.

That's the smelliest. That is the smelliest. Well, I don't know if that's true. Because I feel like most people from that one came. Well, it's three days only a year. Can I just say this? I think that they look the smelliest. I think the Dred Girls at least have sundresses on

You know Yeah, your guys are wearing like I don't know There's something about Suits like yeah but they're not like Snyder But that's not like a cutoff It's not like a cut off jeans shorts

Like been wearing the same underwear For like five days Culture That like doesn't lean into that Those guys go three days And just go gross to the fucking max They pour soda on themselves in the heat It's disgusting

In those three days it's gnarly Lodge with soda. They do. No, you're right. But here's the thing. If they were grateful dead or fish people, when they packed up after the gathering of the juggalo's, without a shower again,

they just go on to the next concert and start all over again with no concerts. And I've done that. Your fans accumulate smell. Yes. Over a year. They're a traveling funk. Yes.

Yes. Totally. There's layers of funk. Now, what I would do when I was on the road for like a couple weeks at a time, oh, is this traveling funk? Oh, you did it.

I did it. I did like long runs. That's my favorite song. It's traveling funk. It's Franklin's Tower, and you know it. Traveling phone. Girlfriend ain't washed a pussy in one fortnight. I'll tell you what.

It's an honor to be hosting this new show on The Grateful Dead Show. For you heads out there, you know where to find me. Well, it's a huge fan base. What I used to do was I would get a bottle of pantine ProV because I had long hair. And every river that we drove by or whatever, a pond. I'd go running in there and fucking, I would take gas station showers at like the pilot on the highway.

I'm sorry, you said you went into a pond and showered? Yeah. Because why not rinse out your pantyme with fish shit? Yeah. Why not have turtle jizz all over your hair? That's the best stuff for your dreads. What do you think keeps those things together? Fish shit's really what tightens up the bases.

Would you wipe your ass with a lily pod? No, baby wipes. Man, that was really funny, by the way, watching, um, When I was on the tour with corn, I forgot when I interviewed Fieldy, the bass player who never quite liked me. Yeah. I love that he was replaced with a guy who's a straight up fan. Raw. What a great dude.

He was replaced with a guy who, like, loves me. That's great. But he, Fieldy, when I was on tour, they wanted me to go interview him in the afternoon, the tour for, like, their socials. And I went on his bus, and it was just so funny because he was in the process. Like, his crew guys that all have to be, like, super religious and stuff, too. Like they all have to do Bible studies If you're on his bus Oh, really?

He was super serious, bad Funny enough, he quit the band Ultimately a couple years ago now Maybe like three Maybe like five, six years ago now He kind of left the band because he was relapsing, I think. But So he's in all the Jesus stuff

And he just had a crew of other Hispanic and white guys on his bus That he's teaching them how to like dreadlock their head He was like dreadlocking people's hair for them Like he's the guy to go to on the coroner That's the ridiculous He's he know what, I've been out long enough. I want my dreads.

All right, man, come on the bus. Go to the creepery. Do you have to, when you make a dread, do you have to, like, use your own poo? Like, how do you make your own dread? They use, I think, like, like, a beeswax. You know it's beeswax. Isn't it beeswax? Dude, you're the dread guy.

Correct me if I'm wrong. It's been a couple years. I'm sure the technology's changed. I think I heard one point the best stuff to use is beeswax, but it's very certain brand, but I heard it from some girl. I don't know. She wanted to suck my dick. I didn't let her.

Did you have a hook up with a dread chick? Yes. How was it? Stank. How did you get through the forest? I'm going to tell you the truth. It's one of those pussies where like if you look while they're fucking, there's like a, there's like a milk gathering around like where your dicks going in there were pussy. Do you know what I mean?

There's like a froth. You had it to eat her pussy. It's like looking for a pimple and a beard. Spreading the hair. Oh, dude. Oh, that muck. You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about, dude.

It's like breechies on the outside of your ding-dong. But it's coming from inside of her. Like a broken barata? Yes, a busted barata. Looks like one of those Chinese omelets. Damn, dude. You guys make the best high-end food references. A busted barata.

I have a thing. I can't be with a girl that's got hairy armpits, hairy legs. Fuck all that. No fucking way. I'm Italian. As an Italian-American. as the Italian and the hairiest women on the falking plant yeah you gotta wax that shit but at least she makes a good sunday gravy hey look at trees with some money

so you never hooked up with a chick I'm sorry we're bumming out Lou no I'm sorry we're not making fun of Sebastian no no we're making fun of other ones God you love this guy so hard you let those fucking assholes talk about my comedy Lou why was you done Lou, you're just gonna let that fucking stoon hard and that gabon? I was listening. I was talking to Corielli, and he said you were letting him talk about me. He said you were laughing. Did they ever invite you over for Sunday sauce?

Oh, you gotta go over and hit the button. The button. Maybe they'll invite you over to their house for San Gennaro. I'm never gonna hook you up with a scally cat. again my wife's knitting you a garlic bread necklace Lou I gave you the disc man they gave me in my Oscar's gift bag go would you have a Vince Vaughn's Wild West comedy door poster over your bed if it wasn't for me you fuck you're gonna make fun of me with those two fat assholes why why and what and why and where and who

You call yourself a compadre. You're supposed to be a pison. Where, when, why would you do that? I allowed you to produce my show and you date a black girl, and you do this behind my back. I let you borrow my firebird for your first date. You bring one of these ditsunes to my house, and my wife's cooking?

for? They got different palettes. I had to get hot sauce. You got me Google and plantains over here. There's do God say. Keep it in the family. I don't want to have to make you pick,

but it might be coming. Forget about it. I listened to that vitality. That elderly woman, behind the counter of a tiny little store in the suppers? He keeps singing about how sad he is about stuff. I mean

shouldn't he be embarrassed? You know that Vader guy is a fan of mine? Hey, he's playing, he's playing a tiny guitar. This Jeremy won't shut up in class. If I talked in class today, back in the head! My father, if I came home

and told him that I was getting in trouble in school, he'd have to shoot me at the He said, hey, you're nine. Start a business. Oh, Lou, Lou's all nervous. Lou, you're going to cut all that out? You want me to spin the black circle?

Oh, shit. I let you sleep in my slave quarters when you come out the Los Angeles. I let your girl go in my pool, even though something might have happened. The color might have changed. I let your girl go in my pool Knowing her hair might clog my drains

Oh, I don't mind Still, Brad I had to clean the shower drain There was a thwart spider from her hair My wife jumps She goes, oh, what is this? Yeah, he relax, relax What are you doing?

Why are you doing with her? Why are you doing? Why are you gonna go out? Why would you even though? Why would you turn to? against me. She called it Parmigian cheese.

I said, what? Parmesan. It's not phonetic, you fucking bang, bad. I had to get avocado for the salad. She said

she wants me to find all the jokes. It's 10 p.m. What am I trade a joke? You want me to find art of chokes at damn p.m.

I thought, well, I'm going to choke. broad right now what are we living what are my green acres oh my growing odd of chokes Beverly Hills that is she asked me who Frank Sinatra was I almost went upside and not oh Lou God bless you this has nothing to do with me I know he's your godfather would you pick us any affiliation with Sebastian Manascalco anymore first child is a fucking masculine. I had to let Lou go. He was dating one of those colored girls. You can't bring her to his shows bringing down the property value. Why? Hey, Willie, I like looking out and seeing white faces.

I treat Stubbub like Zillow. You gotta keep those prices up in the neighborhood. Oh, shit. Oh, I look a good old Sebastian Lou jabs. It feels so good on your throat, you know, Sebastian. It's so fun to do Sebastian. Sometimes I I'll do Sebastian to my dog when I'm just walking here. Oh, are you doing? You're gonna take a dump there? Mikey, call my phone real quick? Sure.

Are you on silent? No, why? It's not that. No, it came through, but I just can't see. I'll call you again. I'll call you again. It's not making it. Calling.

It's just feeling. It's not feeling. It doesn't matter because you can still see. Look at the picture of what Mikey calls me. Is that Sebastian? Yeah. It's Sebastian like this. It's Sebastian like this.

It's a bad. Why? I said he's the best one. Did you see his newest promo photo? I sent it. It's so Italian. Befuddled Guinea? Is he full?

Isn't he like something else? He's not full Italian, right? I think he's not full Italian. He's 38% fucking hilarious. He's Sicilian. Is he full Sicilian? Yeah. Is that what he told you?

Lou, when you read my bio on the air, I'm full Sicilian. Oh, what he does. I don't want them to know. about my albumin. You might have seen him in Toscana as a baby. Oh, fuck. It's every time my call, this is a bad going,

what are you want? You're calling me now to talk? Yeah. You want to talk now? You got to. You got to get in a queue. Where? Why and how?

A. Oh, you, and sometimes, why would you do that? I remember when you can. Sometimes I just stare at this picture. That's the fastest. That's the newest. Bring it up. Why?

Sebastian, he goes, I can't even get started with anything. I'm so much going on in my head at once. Is that his pinky really long? Yes. He goes, the algorithm? Christine, it's in the bonfire. When I saw Sebastian at Madison Square Garden in 2004,

he had, I was backstage. Jacob, I can tell the story. Whoa. Now you don't get it. No, I want to hear. Tell me. Tell me. I had cardboard cutouts of him making that face everywhere so you could take a selfie with it.

Plus, in his backstage, all the pillows had Sebastian's face on it. It was that face everywhere you looked. Oh, that's so great. I want a Sebastian pillow. I'm befuddled as well with the guy. Even my couches don't know what's going on. Is your back hunting? Use my face.

I identify as confused. He, hey, who, huh? Why? Why? Why? Who? Oh, you? Uh-huh.

Third base. If you don't make a good meatball, I don't care. So my kids, they keep growing, I guess. That's what they do. Hey, honey, Lou wants to come over with that black chick again. What should I do? What do I do? She didn't even take her shoes off.

Last time she was. She took home desserts. Who does that? Yeah. Who takes home dessert? You can't bring a box of Anjanats with you? Read the fucking room, guy. She brought a queen of mine.

What the fuck gay dessert is that? You never heard of Panetone, huh? Or Toblerone? Maybe a... There it is. Oh, why are you doing? A nice tattoo-fo maybe? A tattoo-fo.

The ticket prices have gone up 32%. You're going to make a thing about it? But I'm not worth 32% You're going to get to see me In the round. The thing is I'm 38% more hilarious. Sebastian Manuscalco. It's a 5% disc comedian

who uses 99% of the stage. Corn, sour cream, chicken. This Chipolte. Oh, fuck. God, I love him. God damn.

I'll tell you, though. Josh just took some good pictures, but God bless people. To post your own picture of you in action shot is just, it's tough. I can't do it. He did. You saw Josh yesterday's thing. Josh is very photogenic. Very photogenic.

But he looks good in the pictures. It's just like to take the, but a lot of people do that. Like just got some new pictures. And then it's like pictures of you like, it's just pictures of you like. Can I say something though? Squatting down like you're taking a shit in Japan is not a good picture. Well, I don't know, it doesn't help his shaved orangutan thing since he's got, he's probably going to.

an orangutanang. No, no. Can somebody take that and make him into an orangutan? I've had to take, I've taken seven million pictures like this. You're terrible at it. With everywhere I go, of course. You're the worst pitcher taker I've ever taken pictures with. But I've taken...

We had to tickle you. When I was just in San Fran, they did a bunch... The guy downstairs? Yeah. He took me downstairs and did him again. I know. That's my favorite one. You're not wrong.

They're terrible. I'm just saying... That's when Jay had no self-awareness. Oh, no, I was aware of this was bad. And we talked about this one. I was aware this was very bad. When it took it, uh, what's his name? Lamont took those

These were all, I think, primarily his ideas Your beard was actually This is what my chin should go Demo by day, comedy by night Yeah, a little light demo Yeah His comedy was a sledgehammer But I'm saying I've never

Oh what I've got any of my head shots Or new photos done or something I get I've never been like Hey everyone Here's a look at my new photo They become, they're just completely like The club needs pictures I give them my management

And they send them off to the thing You don't put a collage up on Instagram? I don't. A lot of people do. Yeah. A lot of people do it. If you want to give props to the photographer. That's what he's doing.

That is what he's doing. Yeah. He says... Wow. I think it's all he does in it, right? Go back and look. This is where I'm supposed to picture. This is me looking like a chimpanzee.

It's all shout out. That's pretty funny. He's holding his knuckles. He's like, I'm going to throw poop at you soon. Yeah, the first thing he does is give her up is he gives her. No, I get it. But if there was one, but go to the next one. Okay.

Oh, there's like, there's like 20 of them. Oh, I love my dog. This is my girlfriend. I'm going to stop looking. There you go. What's this, a Jenko ad now? Or what did they want, a kiff? Is that whatever?

What did Jerry Seinfeld do? Dude, Jerry Seinfeld posing in his little boy clothes is the funniest thing ever. He's like, what? Sometimes like the thrown a sweatsuit. It also gets credit that he was. I wear a backpack sometimes. styled by I unzipped my zipper

from the bottom to the top Yeah I'm so wacky My jacket works backwards We all I couldn't post I couldn't post my own head shots This is cold fashion I'm too funny

For my jacket zipper That's what it is I don't have a woman in my life But I got like a dog It's also about Seeing What you can call it It's also about like...

Seeing his shredded arms? No, like posting, and then what I would feel like is that like a thousand... Like, what we're doing right now is what's going to happen. They're not... They're unarguably nice pictures. It's just a matter of like, why are you posting all the pictures? These are should be your promo pictures when you're promoting something. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Well, he'll be in front of some building or some ship. Well, you know what it is too? It's like... It's like, um... And then you know that you got... He's going back and checking it. That's the hard part.

The sad part about that picture right there. Anybody would. Of course. Everybody would. That picture right there. That's happened to my jackets because of my stomach. The zipper has gone. His unzips that way.

Yours blast it open. He bought his like that. You threw yours out like that. I had to take my jacket off like a sweater. These are all black and white shots. And it says gray hair by stress. But his hair's died blonde right now. He looks like Scott Wheelan now.

Go scroll up to the thing. I don't want to see any comics jumped in the mix. I had to tell him last night I go, do you got to stop talking so fast? I can't keep up. Oh, you saw him last night? Yeah, we was hanging out last night. Me and Jay did a new joke night.

How was that? Yo, Bobby, you, Bobby. We were trying to get out of it up until the point we got in the room. We walked up and I was like, dude, our name's on the list. He goes, let's go. Five seconds away from just going back in his car and leaving. Really? Yeah.

But Will got you? No, Liz. Liz threatened my life. Not one comic we know. No. Has showed up on this to say anything. Yeah, no one's going to. What are you going to do?

Hey, it looks great. What's your name? Well, bust balls. Of course. I'm surprised no one's in there busting balls. No, he does look fantastic. How much money do you make a year? I'm surprised.

Christine, you know what I'm surprised he didn't do? The eye color stays color. That seems like something that... Oh, like the red balloon of Cineers List? Yeah. Oh, like a French film? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a David Bowie type thing.

You know, I know we're... We should talk this out on the air. here because I know we're not we're not supposed to go through the special anymore but DVM David Vox Mullen the Voxinator has now reached out at this point and said uh he was like I love the roasting got such a great attitude about it I got to say it's the only two ways to go but he handled it a very magnanimous way and we I mean we handled it I give us credit we handled it very good too. Well, in the fact that we stopped talking about it

all together because I would have kept going. In fact, he suggested that I continued a role. Yeah. Making fun of it. But he then suggests. So he sent us a thing. He sent us a message. Yeah. Christine, he sent to you, right? Or he sent it to me. He sent it to Christine. Oh, well, I got it too.

The same thing. Yeah. Do I not follow Josh? Can you bring me up this speed? Yes. So, David Voxmoan, we found together, or we came across our path in Nashville? Yeah. That's the special. That was at a bar where there was sports.

Yes. There was a lot of things going on. Why was his hand was? Christmas. A lot of things go up. There was Christmas. There was Wednesday specials. Everything was on.

Upcoming events. Jukebox was going. Jukebock was going. Now, it does turn out that several the instruments on the stage were for him. We did not get to it. We didn't get to it because this all blew up and it got back to him before. Right. we were able to get deeper into it

and then you know we don't want to make fun a fucking guy having me here feel bad about it we were trying to do it tastefully behind his back but the we told the fans we said to the fans please do not go and trash this guy in his comments

please do not be mean if you're going to go just like Corey saw me say great things and you know you can do a little dog whistle little dog whistle and the comments Mike were dare I say genius

some of them some of them hilarious I mean I'd like to go check out some of them maybe there's new ones some new ones for sure did they throw like crackle crackles in there and they threw some oh they did got grouse but the problem was one guy decides to go fucking total heel and messages him like uh hey dude two real comedians were shitting all over your special and making fun and that's honestly the funniest thing about it and uh it was just so mean it was very very mean that's not nice and it was like yeah so then he checks it out and then he jumps in and he goes high road like this is hilarious

blah, blah, blah, thank you. He sent us personal messages saying, thank you, couldn't have done it without you. It's true. He's got thousands of views. Numbers are way up. He went from 66 views. 2.3.

2.3, yeah. He had, I think, he had 19, I think, when he started. Or 63. 63, so, yeah, somewhere of that. I mean, it worked. Yeah, it's great. And his subscribers are up, you know, a bunch. He looks like that Scott Ackerman,

Comedy Bang Bang guy. He does. He actually doesn't look at that guy. And so we started, like, hearing stuff. We stopped talking, and we said, we're not going to talk about it anymore. We felt terrible. Now, it's very hard because, I don't know if you see this, Mike, he's getting ready to sing a song, several songs,

which is, oh, so easy to go at. But he wrote a thing. Christine had, what I can only describe as a pretty brilliant idea today. He did two things. He also changed his website. Well, yes. So if you look at his website.

Well, it's Facebook. It's his Facebook. His Facebook page, sorry, yeah. So he has heard frequently and what? As heard repeatedly and unpaid on the bonfire. Oh, unpaid. On Sirius X-M. All right.

And then it says trust the science, which I don't know if you know. That's Jay's new. You're the science. Bobby's the fluent. That's the fluence. That's the family. I'm the amigo. You have been in a voice.

Mike, Mike, you have to give you respects to the family. Yeah. Black lose the beef. Beef. FYI, theme song, The Madison, by the way. The fam. The fam.

The same theme song. That's every song in the show. I swear to God, it's every fucking song in the show. It's just me blubbering, isn't it? It's just Michelle Pfeiffer and a river crying. Lose the magic. Of course.

And Christine's the cackle. Yeah. Yeah. So, everybody's got their thing now. I love it. And Mike's the Amigo. And Mike's the Amigo. A proud.

America's Amigo. And you know, real quick, before, I've been paying respects to the family, without even knowing I was paying respects to the family, with our back and forth, well, mainly me giving to you. Sidney's Sweeney pictures I keep sending you. When I come across a real nice Sidney Sweeney, I text it to this guy, and he writes back, good lord. I mean. Is that why you've been spending so much time at home? pounding out family. Yeah.

Is that why you're faking a cough every other day? Guys, I still have the sniffles and I can't keep my hands off my cock. Mike, stop texting him. So... Back to David Vox-Mullin. Scott Ockerman. DBM heard. He put it out there.

He's on the show. He's heard repeatedly on the thing. Trust the Science. Very... I like what he's done. Fantastic. There's the bonfire theme and logo up there. Then he sent us this.

I absolutely love the roasting. Jay is welcome to keep blasting. But I do think it's only fair that y'all get me on. on the show, wink, and then his tiny URL is DVM science, which I love. Now, I don't like the word y'all. Well, Jay does. He's Midwest. I don't think I say y'all.

I'm almost certain I don't. You don't say y'all, because I would, I would do it up. In my first ever set, we've only listened to the intro so far. I thought you meant in real life. No, no, no, but my intro is, we got to see. I'd like to see actually how that's been popping on the comments since you put the intro out. So DVM sends us this. You can be the only show.

Christine, when she showed me that earlier, had a great suggestion. What? I thought it was very funny. No, no, no. We make David Vox Mullen, since our whole thing was trashing his special. Yeah.

We have him review everyone's new specials. Like calls and give us like the Mark Norman just dropped a new special. Let him go with that. And give him every opportunity to shit all over it if he wants to. Well, because can I just say something, though? He does. He is a master at improv. He is.

And he loves to live in the absurdity. Absurdity. We should have him do... We should have him do... What is his favorite style? Absurdity is my favorite style of comedy. What's some other things? Some other advice you just give us real quick.

If you can be confidently not funny, you're still going to get away with it. Okay. All right. He pulls that off. He says it like it's... I mean, it's like it's like a magic eye puzzle all this time. You were stupid for not knowing.

I wonder if he can. I would love to give, I would live, I know we're not going to watch it anymore, but I would love to give Mike a little taste. Well, what I heard, can I say, can I say what I'd like to, I heard he does impressions of like presidents. No, not impressions. Master impressions. That I'd love to see because I would like to hear, like, maybe like Ronald Reagan review Sam Meryl's new special kind of thing. Oh, in his impressions. I would like to do it in the Obama because.

Because I think is Obama is the best. Is it? Can I see the Obama? Oh. It's my favorite. Is that okay? It's the best. Yeah. It's okay.

This is water under the bridge, this part. You guys are friends now. You and DVM, regular pals. I would love to see a little music, though. But do you? I know. Me too. I want to see some of that music.

Well, get him in the first ball. Why don't we do this? Why don't we show him a little Obama, give me a little taste. Maybe swing over to the comments, see if any more genius comments are in there. And then maybe pop over and just, I mean, just take a little taste of the music. But what do you feel about Christine's identity? I thought it was a really good one. We don't have an incorporation of anybody else.

We gave this guy the biz and he's being a great sport about it. How do we not make him our call in when we have a new special we need to review? By the way, should be started with a special of yours and mine. Yeah, but we already, well, you know, I mean,

okay. And just let him give his, like, he gets to, we give him like a five, seven minute, like rant on whatever special. That's a long time. Yeah. That's a long time. Mm-hmm. Maybe a three-minute rant Maybe a...

Maybe a... Maybe we have buzzers, and when the rant is over, we hit a buzzer and we're like, like the gong show, and we decide when the rant is over? Three minutes is a long time. Three minutes of long time? No. 90 seconds.

To talk about it, someone's special? Give a full review of a special? Three minutes? You have 48 seconds. No, I think it's perfect. Well, three minutes is fine. You have a one-minute review?

Christine, I apologize. Everyone hated your idea. No, that sounds fun. I think it sounds fun. Why we call him right now? Let's get him on the horn. I really want to hear that song. Yeah.

The URL redirects to this new shirt that's merch. This guy has no soul. That's great. He has your trust the science. He made a shirt. I think it's fantastic. With your name. First of all, that should be your shirt.

Validated methods. You should be making. You should be making that money on that shirt. Evidence, reason, knowledge. Oh, wow. I am the science. That is. Of comedy.

He took your merch. Oh, by all means. Jay doesn't even sell merch. I've been begging them to sell merch for years. Have it. I've come out. I've come up with ideas for him. He should have.

He's felt all the words right, though. Is he his own merch company? Is that his company, too? Can I hear the Obama Can you just blame me? Can I hear it? Can we enter the song, please? Yeah, well, let's go to the Obama. We've got to give a little backstory to Mike.

I've never heard the Obama, and I'm a big fan of Can you make some more noise? Good presidential master impressions, not impressions. See, is there any way you could like smash that screen? I know, right? Yeah, do that. Yeah, correct that, slap the mic. Smack that.

Can you scrape your teeth on the screen protector? smack that How old is this January He's uh I think he's Somewhere between 40 and 70 Yeah Around there

His jacket 12 His jacket's 12 Great Scott Oh yeah He does you know He does interstitials in between his set He goes to a candy shop Because he has diabetes

Yeah he does He had diabetes Yeah he doesn't anymore He lost a lot of weight I didn't We do We do respect that on the show I haven't watched

We do By any means necessary However, you lost weight. I respect the shit of it. Mike, real quick, on the wide shot, you don't want to look too long because you'll have a stroke from the blinking lights in the background.

Oh, my God, yeah, I'm looking at that now. Just at our age, you have to be careful of that. Laser Floyd. What's with the snowman? It's probably around Christmas time. It's Christmas time and the bar he did this at. Oh, that's not his. You can't just take it all that.

Well, you know, it's Christmas time because there's big games on the screens. There's a lot of big games going on. Michigan's about to fucking take the title. All right, let's hear it. Yes, he's wearing his merch, Mike. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, it's a logo that looks demonic, but it's really just... It's a V-M pentagram. It's a V-M-P-O-X. It's a V-O-X. It's that part of the science? It's the V-O-X. It looks like a V-Dub. That looks like a V-Dub logo.

They got tie-dye, too. You like that, right? Yeah, bro. Are we getting hoodies? It's a Voxagram. I want a jacket. A Voxagram. A hex-a-Vox?

I thought we bought the merch. I thought we did that. Didn't I have a fucking I thought I had a fucking tie-dye coming Hey Bobby look at him from that Doesn't he got a little bit of like Tom Cotter head He's got a Wayne Federman He's got all the same people

He's actually got the head from every comic in the early 90s Tom Van Horn I was gonna say Tom Van Horn He's got a fucking Lenny Marcus to him He's got a Dan Natterman fucking head Oh my Christ Yeah he's got a Tim Young I don't know if Dan Ederman doesn't like me

Is terrified of me Or what When I see him It's his recall Coil is bizarre for a guy that I spent years with on a nightly basis. He, I'm like, I was like, hey, Dan, and he does like a, he, like, looks away and, like, gives me like a, hey. Yeah.

It's very straight. I mean, there's a guy I've talked to at length. He knows my daughter. I told him you hate Jews. Oh, okay. That's why. But he also, he also probably sleeps with tinfoil, like, wrapped around him or something. Dan's not, I mean.

No, he's become, like, more and more abnormal. I see him, and I'm like, hey, Dan, and he's like, yeah. We're at the cellar at me and Jay. It turns it in a Donald Fagan. We looked over at him at a table by himself just eating. A boiled chicken. I think it's boiled chicken. At the cellar.

What are you? Boiled chicken and vegetables they don't have on menu. That's off the menu. They just shop for Dan. That's called the Natamine. That's the Natamine. It's the Natamine. It's the natamon.

God bless him. God bless. God bless his heart. They don't have root beer there. They do fanatimine. It's in the back. And Jacob, I'll say this for you as well. It's a real testament to your inner will and spirit.

And I'll say this for Dan Naderbin also, that neither of you are not 700 pounds because the lack of enjoyment, you get yourself. But, like, enjoyment, it seems you give yourself for things. Like, it's, like, I don't know, food would have to be one of those things for me.

Yeah. If you're not out, like, if you're not out, like, actively trying to, like, crush pussy or have a girlfriend or getting fucked up or on drugs or anything like that, yeah, the fact that you're not eating at a time. You still, like, maintain and keep shape. It's a real testament to your will.

If I lived in Natamon or Jacob's life, I would be 700 pounds on drugs and getting my dick sucked by every prostitute in the area of Queens. Have you ever got a prostitute? No. Well, I think we should take care of that. Want one? You want one? Not really.

So if we set a prostitute to your house and knocked on the door, you wouldn't let her in. No. Maybe that could be the beginning of you getting her away from her dreadlocked pimp and then maybe go and learn an adventure with her. Yeah, maybe you can find, like, drugs, and you take the drugs, and then you try to sell them in L.A. to an active friend of yours. Bobby knows a couple big-time directors, actually, for people. I can hook you up.

You get me to meet him at an amusement park, though, because that's where he meets. You get in a meeting, you get a meeting with Dane Cook. Let me finish. Jesus. Before you say no, let me finish the pitch. What is it's like a Julia Roberts pretty woman prostitute? Not like a yo baby one go out? Right.

You don't have to take her away from a pimp. you just simply have to get the most gorgeous streetwalking prostitute off the streets. What if her pussy doesn't smell like snake shit? How about that? You know, if Julia Roberts was a streetwalking prostitute, the way she fucking looked, her regulars would have murdered Richard Geer for taking her out of the fucking loop. He would have been at a price on his head, the reservoir of life. He goes, you took that chick that I could fuck for $100.

Who looks like that? Off the streets? Fuck you, dude. No way. You're not wifing up this bitch. Plus it would be a line like a good taco truck in front of her. Yeah, Richard Gere, how do you just find her with other girls being talked to? Julie Roberts didn't have a, yeah, he would have like a car's honking down the highway.

He goes, what's at the end of this? He goes, I just really hop-pros. Hey, no cutseys. No cuttsies, getting live. She's got a deli counter next to her. Dude. Some guy would have already been wearing her face, dude. If she was working like a corner, are you kidding me?

Jason Alexander would be wearing her fucking face. Did you ever get a streetwalker? No. You? Yeah. Me too. I spoke to a girl in Vegas that I thought was a normal girl. Is that your book?

Is that your new book coming out? I spoke to a girl in Vegas. I was talking to a girl in Vegas. And I'm just thought I was trying to flirt with a chick. And I'm like, you want to get out? I want to go grab a drink or something? She's like, well, I'm working right now. So it would be $125.

And I'm like. You're like, man, the prices this place are crazy. And I'm like, for a drink. And then she goes, no, I'm like, no, I go, you're not. And I gave her like a, because you know I wear my emotions on my face. So I must have really been like, You? You're a scumbag piece of shit. Oh my God, you're a fucking cum dumpster.

I fucking treat you like a human. You're a pile of garbage shit. She was like, oh, I have to, and I'm like, you're better than this shit. You said that? Yeah. Oh, God. And then I walked away. Did you say you can get, I can get you away from all this?

I went, I go, my spit's not even worth your face. I'm spitting on the ground. You're gonna spit on the floor of the circus circus. She would have been in my room immediately. She had like a sweater on. I was like, you're fucking. You found out of the good. time man that was the that was that great fucking arty lang he's like man it's going so great with this

chick and then at the end she was like that's five thousand dollars like excuse me she's like that was five thousand dollars he's like oh you weren't you didn't like the girlfriend weekend it's a girlfriend experience the girlfriend experience would tempt me yeah yeah yeah apparently they're just they act crazy hot yeah they act like a girl that's how that's how bad being married is is they don't have the marriage experience yeah just go to Vegas and fight with me you see this it's too loud. Can you turn it down? They go, you're snoring, wake up. Are you going to shower?

You want steak or chicken? They just show up in your hotel room and leave the bathroom counter wet with a fucking curler plugged in. You just go into the room, she's already sleeping. With Bravo turned on. I'm watching that. A wall of pillows between you. That's the girlfriend. That's the wife experience.

You eat dinner silently? Her legs are hairy all the time. but jacob you said you could do it you said you could be with the much younger girl and not be like she's grossed out by me like you could be like i don't know anymore yeah i it bums me out my age i had well i think i'm i'm i'm a little younger than you but i'm saying i feel like the same like if it was like a a young like fucking especially like some kind of instagram influencery chick like stupid uh bellichick's thing like the fact that he's every night is just like no she's super into it I'm like for reasons that are not she's super into you yeah because you made her a dildo at a hundreds yeah

you would the fuck here you'd finger her with your Super Bowl right yeah it's really