The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Turn The Lights Back On

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

Bobby is moved by Billy Joel's new song and explains to Jay what it's really about.

I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. O'Kersen. We're actually a full radio show on Sirius XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on the Sirius XM app. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now, The Bonfire with Big J. O'Kersen and Robert Kelly. Yo, with that, yo, me and Big J in the house with the lights real low, that's you know, so Christine needs to blow.

Suck our cocks. You could have said flow. Sorry. That's not what you see there when you see those lips. Those DSLs, dude. I'm going to tell you something about Christine. Christine's top of her game right now. Top of her game. What do you mean?

Like, physically. Top of her game? Top of her game. Here's what happens is there's some, and I think Dawn's the same way. When they're girls, they're pretty. But then some women, when they become women, they become gorgeous. And I think Christine, as she's becoming a woman, is becoming gorgeous, right Jacob? Yeah, exactly, see that? Jacob agrees.

Jacob agrees. If you're covered in cum, you're not getting with this guy. Well. No, you're aging good. I mean, that's one, that's a way to put it. Yeah. Well, I mean, obviously I think Christine's pretty. I wouldn't be with someone I was unattractive to.

No, she's very pretty. But I can't just build her up. No, I'll do obviously, I think Christine's pretty. I wouldn't be with someone I was unattractive to. No, she's very pretty. But I can't just build her up. No, I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah. And you agree. Yeah, what good to do me. Nothing.

You're pretty. Gives a shit. Yeah. I said that to Don today. I was like, oh, you died your roots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for you. You see a lot of not root dying times in the house. Those fuzzy things over your ears are gone. Good for you. Those

fuzzies. Those those baby hairs. Yeah, those those your hairs in a ponytail 99% of the time fuzzy over your ears. Yeah, Christine's got like a pit crew that have to like de-hair her every month. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha from the little patch, but it goes to the bum too. Sometimes. It goes to the asshole, it comes up to the belly button on some. Oh, bleh. Bleh. I have hairy calves.

Oh, hairy calf. I have hairy calves. She has hairy calves. That's great. Not now. Not now. Not currently, but probably for the two days I'm going a week.

Oh yeah. Oh really, don't shave? Yeah, why? I'm not currently but probably for the two days. I'm going a week. Oh, yeah. Oh really don't shave. Yeah, why? I'm not cheating on him. Oh cuz it's gross No, cuz it gets summer. They'll get caught in your kiki blanket. Oh Probably combs them The dog curls up to her calf. Oh for sure. The dog just right like rise on her legs to scratch its itches. Yeah. Scratch its belly. Yep.

It's gonna actually make Bobby puke at one point. Yeah that's that whatever that is is gross. Yeah. I'm not a big fan. By the way I texted all you guys last night quick update. Shitting on Rob Low for hosting the floor. Just being like this guy was a legit actor at one point and now look at him, got way into the game itself. We just had it on the background, I'm like, this is a fun game, the floor. What is it?

The only part I know that I was playing along with, I'm not sure how it works exactly, but at one point they put you head to head and the games are so, right in my wheelhouse of fun. It's like, we're gonna show you the logos of fast food places and you tell us what the place is and it just goes back and forth. Like who can name more, it's very fun.

And what happens, what's the floor part of it? I don't know. So you like move around the floor somehow. Something about moving around the floor. I wish it was like a Japanese show where the floor actually turned to lava and somebody died. Yeah, play one of the games. I told you Rob Lowe is my spirit animal, but I think this was also a, uh, actor strike move, which is a good move. Hang on, hang on. Let's do do the game we'll go back and forth Bobby

ready yeah okay I'll go first oh yep Africa come on Bobby that Oh, I didn't know. Georgia. Georgia. In the USA. USA. Ibiza. Ibiza. Christine, you're not even playing. Forget it.

Turn it off. I love you. She ruins everything. You see? You built her up by telling her she's attractive, and then she starts running off with the fucking mouth. I didn't say she was smarter. Everyone knows Hotel California.

It's stupid. It's a dumb radio bit anyway. It's all visuals. Can't play along radio bit. Anyway, it's all visual I can't play along at home. I was talking pure physical Is that a sexy Burke reischer yeah I burk reischer AI Bart Detroit That's not fair to play with you though

Huh, that's not fair to play with you. Well. Huh? That's not fair to play with you. Well, it would have been fun if Christine didn't ruin my fun for just gonna be shit on my picnic. Have you seen Rob Lowe for what he looks like now? Yeah. Is so amazing compared to Pony Boy. Have you seen Pony Boy? See Thomas Howe's a rough, rough older dude.

Dude, he turned into a fucking moonshiner. Rob Lowe's got something going home with his lips, though, that just when I watch him, I have to do it also. Yeah, sir. So it's gonna be weird. Join us here on the floor. He's got puppet lips. Yeah, it's like they sewed the corners shut.

Yeah, marionette lips. Yeah, maybe even, yeah. Dude, see Thomas Howell is just a country redneck. He looks good there. What are you saying? Well, that's a very, there you go. That's what he looks like. No, yeah, that's what he looks like.

Now, if you go to his Instagram, he is old as shit. And this is the funny part. He goes in from regular C. Thomas actor, California, but to complete redneck Southern dude, the accent. He switches between the accents, which is fucking hilarious. He was the last guy to pull off Blackface. There he is, yeah, that's true.

That's him. That's him. The last guy to pull off Blackface successfully. So successful it was in the goddamn movie theaters. I bought it. Soulman? I completely bought it. I saw it in the theater.

I saw it in the theater too. I was like, man, what a fun idea to be black, like just for the cool parts of it. The hair. Oh, the hair. All the white pussy. He's going hard on the Sam Elliott look. I mean, listen to him talk, though. Play the volume. He's a country singer. He has an album. No. Yeah, that's it. He still has Pony Boy voice. Stay gold. There he is. There you go, dude. That looks like every black guy on the CW. Dude, so funny.

It's funny that they're putting minorities on commercials now, but they're that type of... Oh, yes. It's just like a white... Like a white, black white black redhead Indian the black people commercials might as well be see Thomas howl taking tanning pills I think his album is called stay gold or some shit has to be of course I think so actually it's called an American storyteller which kills me that's the

name of my first album yeah he's he's very country now look at that one with his rope and he calls himself Tommy how Tommy how yeah, that's his country name Oh Tommy how? He has a whole different fucking uh Look at like a slicker. We call it Like dual personality. Yep. What I mean I would do it if I could talk like that every once in a while, Jay, when I went on vacation, I went up to New Hampshire and I went to the little country store and I said, let me get a BLT with extra mayonnaise and extra B.

In fairness, though, this is the only place he can go on music that wouldn't be upset with his former black face. So what? Who cares? I wonder if when it goes to these comic-cons because he does his if he has to sign those oh do you sign soulman's I would make him I make him sign my blackface I'd be great it'd be my costume at the comic-con like who you had to I'm dressing C Thomas howl in soul man No, no, I'm C Thomas howl ins you can't get mad at me. I'm being a character from a movie that was in theaters Sorry for the blackface I'll be better off He's wearing a vest though. I'm so jealous damn dude too late to pull a

complete Life genre switch. Hey, but look he's a real man. He has a wallet in his back pocket He doesn't care about sciatica. No, he doesn't care Wow That's a mother fucking feather as a hawk feather his hat games tight Yeah, I cannot take him seriously I hate these hats though because they have all these hats and they have they burn them to make them look like he's had it for 30 years Like his papa gave it to him. Oh that is a brand new burned hat. Yeah it's like they light it on fire just to give him fucking authenticity.

Wasn't my last hat, wasn't the hat I bought at Moontower last year? Did it have burns on it? Yeah I think mine's got a couple of burns. Yeah they let them on file. Oh yeah then they burned up a card for Bobby's. They fake burned a card. Yeah they did burn it. And then put it in Bobby's thing. You guys look very good in hats, your cowboy hats. He's not, he didn't turn up the brim of his hat here, which kind of looks silly to me. Yeah, too bad nobody saw us with our hats

because Josh was in front of us. Ha ha ha ha ha. You can see Thomas out. What a dildo did he become, huh? Yeah, he's, he really switched his game up, man. Bobby Josh's mechanics outfit masked your cowboy hat. Oh, I'd love to smell that. Oh, yeah, Josh is dressed like uptown girl.

He really is. Whoa. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Uptown girl. She's been living in her uptown world. Give it up a J. Bobby Kelly.

Bobby Kelly. Look at that burned hat. Man, C. Thomas Hale did not, that, please. He, I mean, if you look at him on some of those Instagrams, he is face. He's got that LA, I didn't put any sunblock in, in the 80s on my face. Oh, it is funny.

Wrinkles. It is award season, so you are seeing the age on people is weird. This first thing, one of the first things yesterday on the Grammys was a Tracy Chapman came out. The age on people is weird. She's first thing, one of the first things yesterday on the Grammys was Tracy Chapman came out. She looks like fucking Whoopi Goldberg. What about, what about the, what about the,

she was a kid when she came out. That was the big thing, she was a teenager, right? There was the old chick that, you know you're old when you have your own chair. Oh, Joni Mitchell. Joni Mitchell, woof. Oh, Mitchell. Joni Mitchell, oof. Oh, God. Joni Mitchell, somebody should have seen a red dot

on her chest from the back of the room. Somebody just put her down, dude. That was crazy. I mean, this is the, what an old, it seemed to go. She's like, skadoodle, skadaddle, what a dude of something folk. Stop fighting in the Middle East. She looked like Sam Kinnison.

That was brutal. That chair is nuts though. She has to travel with a lesbian chair. Oh my god. And her cane's got finger grips. That chair is keeping her alive with spells. God, darling dude. I heard Celine Dion came out for the first time in the maybe the

public of her appearance and she has like frozen bone syndrome or something. She actually has a human male, this young buck that has to, is her cane. She hired him, a man to walk her out and he held her. Pull up the volume, pull up the volume pull up the volume this is bad this is a Joni Mitchell singing oh my god yeah man she looks rough yeah I mean, don't tell her I said that because I don't want to put a thinner curse on me. Yeah, exactly. Yes you do. For a little bit. Yeah, for a little bit. That's how fat I was when that movie came out that I didn't see the problem with. I was like, would it be worth it to die from skinny? For the few weeks I'd get'm just looking dope in clothes. Oh the great clothes you could buy I just want to be feel those clothes for a while and then when I get skinny I could wear baggy shit and then I'll be dead

Yeah, she's time that's stupid beret That's actually her holding her hair on oh for sure look at these people everybody wants to be over look at Beyonce's like this Stinks and do a leapa Do a leapa is that her name? Yeah, she is hot, undeniably hot Dua Lipa. Is that the blood chick? No, that's Olivia Rodrigo. Her and Miley Cyrus are in the team top teeth.

You can't see a fiction on that. That's the same thing Sidney Sweeney has, what I say. It's not that these girls aren't pretty. Everyone I'm talking about is pretty, but something about that duh face takes me out of giving a shit They don't become fantasy women when they have like a resting face of like they look like butthead from Beavis and butthead Their braces Olivia Rodrigo same thing dude look at look at when Miley Cyrus won her award

They showed a picture behind her and I think I tweeted to you. It's it's disturbing. I mean, her fucking overbite is, is, is, she's like, her, her, I'm glad I won. Oh, bang, her big personality sucks dick. She needs a guy to steal her shine. She needs a man in her life to dull her down a little bit. I can't, she's such a big personality. I know, she's stings.

Remember the old awards show? That was the best when Miley Cyrus was hosting, was the MTV Awards or something? And then Nicki Minaj, where she was like, cause some motherfuckers wanna talk shit up in the press. What's good, Miley? And then Miley Cyrus had to be like, calm down you savage, we're not gonna fight here.

She was, Miley Cyrus had to be like calm down you savage. We're not gonna fight here She was Miley Cyrus was so like Nikki, I love you. You're great. Come on stop Then I watched today Not at the Grammys I will say but Nicki Minaj on Whirls are hip-hop today. They put a video of her getting booed on stage Because she's just gotten like super fat and she just does a bunch of the concert while laying down She does tummy time for like five minutes of the concert. It was so funny It's really she just fat like one point at one point she just rolls over and lifts her leg up with her hand on And looks at the crowd almost like Look I did it. Look at his move. It's hilarious. She's just fat and can't move

How did they get Joni out there? They just pushed the chair out with her any right? I think like that old comic they just had a they had a blanket over the whole show And they just pulled it off when it was her time before she was like a drum kit in the back Like a wood stock They had her preset. She was there the whole time. She was behind a big statue of a Grammy. She was like one of those Carnival rides

where the chair just slips around and spins and there she is. She sticks. Don't ever want to get to the point where I have to be on a moveable stage. They have to roll the stage out. Yeah, she got the house. It would have taken her 25 minutes to get to that chair.

But that's her chair. She, that's her thing that she travels with. Yeah, she got the house. Oh, it would've taken her 25 minutes to get to that chair. But that's her chair. She, that's her thing that she travels with. Yeah. Like you have to fly that witch chair. I don't think she travels much though. That witch chair goes with her wherever she goes. Like go back and turn this off. I guarantee there's a toilet in that chair.

She's just shit. She's never leaves it and it's also, they also bolted into an airplane. Bobby, watch this, please. And rewind it to the beginning and turn the volume up. This is Nicki Minaj. She's currently in tummy time. Now, can you go back to the beginning of the video?

She's on stage at a concert because lying on her tummy. It's fine. Cuts to somebody making fun of her. Oh, yeah. You don't need that. I'm sorry. I mean. Hey, Christine, you're pretty. Let's fine. Cuts to somebody making fun of her. Oh, yeah. You don't need that. I'm sorry. I mean, Hey, Christine, you're pretty. Let's be honest, Jay, you're fucking, you're 10 shows away from doing this.

Through my show in tummy time. Yeah, I mean, I've seen some of the photos. You're sitting down. Yeah. If you could do tummy time, if you could come out and just have one level higher. Oh my God. Yes. If my whole body can be at the height of like,

Eye height. The stool or something, yeah. And I can just lay like this on the edge of a stage and tummy time. Where are you from? Do I have to grate my arm to dangling over the stage? Because where's this guy from? I can touch him.

Where's this guy from? Your little legs across. Did you see somebody, I texted you that somebody sent in the name of your tour should be the tummy time tour? Tummy time tour, I saw that. Did you do a loving, that you that somebody sent in the name of your tour should be the Tommy Time Tour? Tommy Time Tour, I saw that, yeah. Did you do a lot?

I think that's great. Tommy Time Tour, get your tickets now. It's March 11th. No. March 21st. 21st, dude. If you take 11 and then you times that by two and you take away one, that's what I meant. So that's right everybody.

Thursday, March 10th plus plus 22, Takeaway 1. Nope, it's the 21st everybody. Thursday, March 21st at 8 p.m. Guys, we need the campers big on this one. If you're in the area, Tristate Area, come out to this show. One, it's gonna be a fucking phenomenal show. Yes. We'll have at least another guest with us.

Yeah, somebody hosting. Coming out, somebody hosting. Somebody fun, who knows who stops by? Maybe we at least another guest with us. Yeah, somebody hosting. Coming out, somebody hosting. Something fun. Who knows who stops by? Maybe we have some other friends with us, but... Yeah. Shane's doing a guest spot. Shane, I believe.

I think Shane's actually fully committed to being there. Yeah, Shane's gonna come on and hang out for a little bit. I think Rogan's stopping. I believe we can make that false statement and have it fill up for Shane and still have him leave and be like, it was a good show, though. Louie's not doing stand-up for a year, but he's gonna stop by and do it. He's probably gonna stop by.

He's got 10 minutes he wants to try. Almost certainly stopping by. And if you thought that wasn't enough, after me and Bobby go on, Matt Rice is gonna do 45 minutes. No way. That's where the God is. It's happening.

Yes way. 45. We made a couple of calls, called him some faves. Thursday, March 21st, 8 p.m. It is definitely gonna be me and the great Robert Kelly Yeah, the paramount in Huntington, New York everybody. Let's fill it the fuck up. We fill it up Then we could tour this That's what we're told that's if this sells out then it's gonna be one of the major tours Yes, this is how much Management and teams don't like collaborations. We have to prove to them this fun thing will be good and then they'll give a shit

Yeah, right now. They just want to make all the individual me and Bobby money And if we sell out me and Jay doing both of our sets shirtless if we sell wow man, not worth it Cancel the whole tour. I won't do it You took me back in time. I justcel the whole tour. I won't do it. I won't do it. No. You just took me back in time. I just like a little boy. I hated that. You were back in basketball and stuff.

Oh, I like the way I feel right now. Christine, you're ugly. I take everything back. You're ugly. I have to hurt people, hurt people. Oh, man, Christ. Yes, let's go with the fuck up. I think you look better than me, Naked. I don't know, man.

Have you had no shirt on? I don't know. Let's check. I don't... Shut up, Blackloo. Yeah, shut up, Blackloo. What the heck is that? What a check.

What a... What a mo. You guys are real queer over there. All I have is good shoulders. Oh man, I have good nothing, I don't think. My middle half is awful. Bobby, you got nice buys. I have nice... shoulders. Oh man, I have good nothing, I don't think. My middle half is awful. Bobby, you got nice buys. I have nice, ooh.

You got sick arms. You got sick arms. I got nice arms, and then it's done. I don't even know if my arms are good. You don't see Christine looking up from her phone, by the way, he's worried about me not making her feel good. I'm tweeting about your show,

because the desktop's there. About my shoulders? That tonal, sing-songy shit goes through me like a fucking knife. I'm tweeting about your shows so that we can get you more tickets. Oh, man. Wow. Take it, pick back all the things about how she's aging nice.

You are ugly. You deserve it, girl. ugly. Yeah, let's fill it the fuck up in the mean Bobby will take this shindig on the road, man, second on the road on the resort. It's um, yeah, the Grammys though, I mean, it's not, I don't know if it's because I'm old, but I'm trying to watch it. Every answer is no, I'm telling you, I'm the same thing. Everything you're going to say that we're going to say for the next hour. Yes, I was because we're old. I was watching it with a knee brace and I'm telling you, I'm the same thing. Everything you're gonna say that we're gonna say for the next hour is because we're old. I was watching it with a knee brace and I saw my knee because I hurt my meniscus sleeping.

Frozen bees. On Saturday night. So yes, but it's all hip hop and rap. And pop. And pop, right? Yeah. And it's a couple there's no rock there's no more rock and roll in the Grammys yeah like they always had I mean they wailed out fucking one-eyed Jack Billy Joel to sing

his song at the end dude he looked twitchy he was he needs bananas or something dude his one eye yeah I went to see him at the garden with Calter. And he's one of those guys, I don't want to go on or go, then you get there, you're like, I'm fucking glad I went. Because he starts singing the shit and then you're into it. But his eye, at that concert, something happened to his left eye where it's bulging like Wendy Williams. But only one eye.

Last night you could see it. Like one of his eyes is popping out of his head. I don't know what that is. Like it's something. I think it's just the evolution of Billy Joel eyes. They were always kind of bugged. They were. And now I feel like his, you know,

the, you know, the, your eye lines, like there's eyelids and everything's like receding. So we just got bigger, bigger eyes. The bulging one is normal. And the other one is, see, both of them are bulging. Maybe one just died and that went down regular. Maybe one's falling back in, but this guy always had eyes. Only they came with funny glasses.

Type in Billy Joel's bulging one eye. And it's gotta be on the internet. It is freaky. That's freaky. This is bulging. Oh, it does. Anyway, you gotta do it. Tell her she's freaky.

There it is. There it is. She's all right. Hey, you give her a compliment. She really starts failing. Really? I'm I'm pretty I keep her on her toes Billy Joel I I injury all the way on the right. Yeah, Billy Joe. I injury there you go. That's the left Yeah, something happened to him last night protruding I yeah protrude I don't know what the fuck I hate when they don't tell us Just tell me it's like Denzel Washington's fucked up pinky.

No one ever said anything. And then you see it. It's like Vince Vaughn's thumbs are fucked up and nobody mentions it. He just hides them in every movie. Just so you know he doesn't have a glass eye. What is it? Contrary to rumors, Joles confirmed that he does not have a glass eye, humorously adding that he does have a wooden leg

That's the good stuff I said I don't wish to be humor I can't see as a more over the abnormality in his left eye is the result of an unfortunate incident that occurred during a concert in Long Island New York in 1982 at the height of his, following the release of his critically acclaimed album The Nylon Curtain, Joel was on a world tour. During one of his performances, a firework reportedly malfunctioned and exploded near his face, causing severe damage to his left eye. What? That's why he has no pyro at these garden shows. The New York City native underwent multiple surgeries in an attempt to repair the damage

despite these efforts. The musician's vision and the effect that I cannot be fully restored. The Billy Joe eye injury reportedly had significant impact on him both physically and emotionally. In 2022, he mentioned having a leaky eye, a condition resulting from insufficient lubrication in one of his eyes. Yic. Yickey. Yic.

Regardless of his eye condition, first song in 30 years. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You liked it. Yeah. I mean, it was from the heart. It was about a guy who is trying to realizing that he fucked up all these years and was about a guy who is trying to realizing that he fucked up all these years and maybe the people that he loved, he blew off and didn't take advantage of and missed out. But now he's realizing, Hey man, is the light still on? You listened to Howard Stern talk about it today. I did not.

That's a word for word. What he said. I do know. First of all, I don't listen to Howard Stern anymore. You don't. I listen. So you're gonna tell me. Yes. You listen to that song and took in the story of the song? The story?

From the lyrics. The story of the song is basically how. No, you're right. You nailed it, the story of the song. But I know that because Howard said it today because Billy Joe and him are friends and he did the whole thing. You know how I know? know? Because I felt it.

You've listened to it since? Yes, I've listened to it. This is a new song. It's brand new. Brand new. First song in 30 years. This is a new song. It's brand new. Pretty new. First song in 30 years. It's wrong man. It shouldn't have changed but he didn't. That's it.

All the songs used to be romantic. It can make you blind with one eye. You lost his eye. Leaky eye. I see you now. As we're laying in the darkness. Did I wait too long to turn the lights back on? I'm not your bitch. Don't hang your shit on me. I didn't hear that. I don't know about that part, but. It's a, how does it make you feel sad?

Well if you look at it right maybe I'm a little older than you but there's a lot of things that you kind of you know blew over he Billy Joe used to be a romantic guy his songs were all about love and romance and shit he hasn't written one in 30 years he was just resting on his laurels he went out there and sang the hits and became this old drunk alcoholic rich guy that just did his shit to do his shit to make the money to whatever. And then all of a sudden he was like this he was like you know what I used to be a romantic I used to love doing this I used to love writing songs what the fuck happened to me is it too late can we leave the lights back on right here. Here right now, I'm here right now Jay. Trying to get it back.

Lost, he lost it somehow. Think about it Jay, feel it. Maybe he was blind. I see you now As we're laying in the darkness Did I wait too long? Is it too long guys? The life's back on There he is, there he is, the piano man is back Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Can I tell you why I'm puzzled? Why? Because you don't have feelings? You have no empathy? No, I have lots of feelings. I cry plenty of songs.

You cry? What song do you cry at? Which one, dude? Oh, Father by Madonna. That one gets me every time. Oh, I want to say the F word's so bad right now. There's a few. A couple.

You find it hard to hide the fact that you're gay. Apparently he doesn't. Apparently he doesn't. He has a chain with no wallet. I don't know wallet. Just gonna touch the chain. Wait was there clear water? There's one that made you cry.

Credence clear water. What? None of that. Oh, Helplessly Hoping by Um... Crosby Stills and Nash. You sad. this song doesn't I mean, it's about it's all the shitty went on listen I'm this song could probably catch me to time and for sure make me I'm not talking about this pause that for one second Lou

I'm simple puzzled me about this. Yeah When your explanation, I thought you were getting ready to lay out How this song has touched you and made you feel this way and like you had some self-reflection within it Your emotions to her all feeling Billy Joel's Relationship with music. Yeah, that's where all your emotions. I thought you were saying like it makes me realize You know, I got a me and don't got to go out to dinner more. I just got to show up with flowers again You go no Billy Joel had written a song. He used to be all about songs, and now he doesn't do songs.

And he's coming back to do songs. Is it too late songs? Is it too late songs for me to come back and try again? I'm not going to do it. Dawn hasn't shaved her legs in a week. I'm not doing any of that shit with her. You can't take her out in public with her. Yeah.

She should listen to this song. Take some of that in. Oh my god. If we didn't shave Christine down, I'd have to get her a service animal vest to take her to any restaurant I've worked out four times this week of the bad me. I'm trying to get my shit together that broads been home and sweatpants Yeah, you make eggs good for you Pork chops. Whoa, we won't even get the eggs. Yeah, I can only eat a little bit of it All right get your shit together get some panties. I get all my hair and none of the food

Yeah, get a dildo out and let's get this rock Listen to Billy Joel's latest song turn the lights back on you old. Yeah, it's hilarious. That's how I feel too I feel outwardly this song go Christine you should listen to this song and realize yeah get your shit together shit to get the girls Stop stop buying fancy purses and get your shit together shit to get the girls stop stop buying fancy purses and get your vagina wet again turn the light back on down in your cooch yeah I don't feel like I'm fucking this up at all no Christine turn the lights back on you dud we're at the top of our game we have a hate show on Sirius with selling out we're killing it

we look fantastic. We have cool hoodies. We have mittens and bracelets. I have bracelets and Rolexes. I gotta come home and Christine's letting burps out of the side of her mouth. Yeah, exactly. How was your flight?

Don's letting a 10-year-old sleep in the bed with her. Get him outta here. Fucking 10 feet tall. His feet are bigger than mine. Oh yeah, Christine and the dog are in a lesbo relationship that I'm just interfering with every week. Exactly. I'm just in the way from Sunday to Thursday and then I get the fuck out of dodge. Yeah, this song is for them. Yeah. This is for all the all the chicks in their 30s, 40s and 50s that gave up on their men. You probably

think this song out there ladies is about a guy realizing he hasn't been the same romantic he's been all these years earn it turn Turn the lights back on dumbass. Yeah, I'll turn them off and let me go out I'm talking you every woman listening in a long relationship Turn the light back on you fucking numb idiot. Yeah, you used to be a romantic memory. You like to kiss Remember you like to suck on our tongues. our tongues maybe present me your snatch in a car yeah memory you licked my ear like it was a pussy hahahahahahahahahahahahemelio's Bobby was getting his dick suck without saying a word. Oh, I had no underwear. It would be pulled out of his fucking,

his underwearless overalls. Yeah. Just pull it out the side, baby. You gotta earn me. Oh my God. This song, I thought, look it, is it, it's hard to be Billy Joel because you, the songs you made.

And you're, I mean, they're just fucking forever songs. So now to come back at this age and sit down at a piano I just didn't the kid that the story they tried to throw at us with the young Jewish kid that he met him through and some of that down to me on there's you know what is they know they only have six people that are up for all the awards it's the same fucking six ten will say ten people all around for the awards. So they barely give any awards on TV.

It's now performances that are introduced by a three minute vignette about the artist who's coming up and why they did it. It's pretty weird. It's weird. What they did, it's a concert. It's barely an award show. It's not, it's real.

The fact that they don't represent all of music anymore kind of bugs me too. It's not, it's real. The fact that they don't represent all of music anymore kind of bugs me too. It's such a... It's four pop categories. And it's mostly women. I know. It's mostly women. Impossible.

But can I give you credit right now, Bobby? Mm-hmm. You just did something that is hard to do with me personally. Be a misogynist? My personality. No, no, no, I'm great at that. Okay. No. No. You'm great at that. Okay.

No. No. You are fantastic at that. I do wanna compliment you, Jay. Thank you. You're welcome. Make her flinch. Hey, Christine, what?

No, I've, god damn it, no I've lost my train of thought at what I was thinking. No, that song, the Billy Joel song, I didn't like it when I heard it yesterday. And then when I heard the lyrics broken down by Stern earlier and then how you brought it to me just now, I realized now that I've applied it to this is a song

that Christine should be listening to, I do like it. Yeah. I was like, you're right Billy Joel. She is fucking up. Yeah Billy Joel, you're right. What is she thinking? Yeah, you shut the lights out a long time ago You got a little too comfortable a little too cut used to be a romantic You and the lights went on the fritz for a while. Yeah Listen, listen, you're here right now, dude She sees you you're laying in the darkness with the dog

Christine Yeah, I get it. Right. Oh. Oh. Stuck on a hill. You built a home together. Jay's out there earning a living. So life can be easy for me.

He spent a weekend with Mike Suarez. Looking in his dead seal eyes alone in the room on his belly on YouTube. Then I come home and Christine and the dog are taking up the whole couch. No, no food in the fridge You had a fucking weekend You could have had it delivered You lazy whore What are you supposed to do, psych dick for an hour?

We had a perishable prescription That you forgot left downstairs That's a lot of money out the window to take an elevator Turn the lights back on Why am I turned on? Love the song I think it's his best working forever, 30 years. I'm starting to like it a lot. I like it.

Yeah. I'm not even a huge Billy Joel fan. I love Billy Joel, did not like that song, and then he should have told me, honestly, before he played the song he goes, this one's back Christine. I'd have been like whoa! And Dawn. You guys you know why I'm singing out here? But this is got a dawn also.

Turn the lights back on. Hey, check this out. Everybody, and I mean everybody. And I mean everybody knows what the hottest color is right now. Say I love you to your wife, fiance, girlfriend, sweetheart, or daughter with the world's best gift in a brand new color, Steven Singer. From Steven Singer Jewelers, that's right. The I Hate Steven Singer guy. We had him in last week. You know what? Came in, scared the hell out of us because he just walked in and we were like, whoa, old old Jewish guy walked in the studio hour early almost just came in I mean like came in like a

tornado to hold in a bunch of gold dip roses clinking and clanging but you know what what an awesome guy came in gave us all a rose unbelievable it's only at I hate Steven singer.com same it's insane what a great guy though he did he comes in he's like he's like that cousin, when you wanna get lunch and you're like, I guess and then you go, you're like, that was great, I had a great time. Let me tell you why.

I love Stephen, what's the way I love Stephen Stinger too. Because as we sit here, I currently want that chain. I wanna get a chain. I don't know why, but I really do. I do. I know why. You want to tell you why? Sure. Because nothing else is filling that hole in your stomach. Yes. When you go on the road by yourself. Right. Because the lights are off. The lights are off. The lights are off. And you're trying to turn those lights back on with a Cuban gold chain and bracelet. Yeah. Yeah. It probably would fill that void a

little bit for a little bit. For a little bit. Christine had that chain probably by about three months, four months with the bracelet. No, but I love that I still want it because he's not wrong at that business. When I said it, I go, isn't it funny that just jewelry is all based off of just shiny things. There's no real intrinsic value to the metal at all other than because people think it's shiny and they like it and he goes, it's like it's the dumbest business in the world. He said that on air, it's the dumbest business.

You can't, what do you say? It was great, you can't drive it, you can't eat it, you can't play with it, it does nothing. It just how about makes you feel when you wear it. It's such an interesting thing. It's the most primal thing inside of us. Yeah, they've been doing it since the Egyptians. They used to wear gold shit all the time back then.

They didn't know what gold was. Did they have a Stephen Sanger back in the Egyptian days? Just some dude, hey, I got a gold dip. I hate broc-toc-moc-toc. I got a gold dip bone. The gold dip enemy bone. Gain it, gain it, gain it, gain it. You want bone.

You want gold dip bone. You get to find the right place. The crown, Jesus, war was gold dip. I don't know if you know that. It was my signature gold dip rose thorn. I put it on his head before he got crucified. We're going to say something? I love how when Stephen Barge is weighing in an hour early, a receptionist and four producers couldn't stop him.

Oh, that was funny. Yeah, so when you go back and listen to the show, that's very funny, Lou. When it comes back, it's pretty funny. He came in, I realized it was Steven right away. It was fine, he was just so early and we had like a show prepared for the first hour of the show.

We're expecting him for the second hour. He came in and he's just gonna sit off to the side. But everyone was so puzzled. I mean, Bobby, what were you saying to the TV? It was so funny. I was howling inside because I- You kept saying awkward or something. Uncomfortable.

I just said because I looked at Christine's face and then I looked at Lou's face and then I looked at Jacob's face. I couldn't see black Lou's face because I didn't turn around that much. Steven started taking off his jacket, putting his bag down, and I was like, everybody's looking at each other. What's the producers in here?

Someone's gonna say something. I tell you, I loved it. Yeah, it was great. I thought it was awesome. But Christine, no, you all missed the best part of this whole thing. Please. When he came in and he was just walking by Christine,

she went like this to me. And then when turned it, and then, cause he turned to her and she went, hi. Yeah, that was the best. Oh my God, it's so good to see you. All you do to need to kill Jay is just look at Christine and go, hi. And you can walk right in here

and stab him in the back of the neck. Yeah. He's a cool guy. I was looking and Jacob and I just was doing this. I was like, I didn't want to. You know, we wanted to. We just didn't understand that somebody, nobody walks in the studio without being invited

or with somebody. It's always at a certain time. So it was a very awkward moment because nobody just walks in and somebody just walked into the studio. It would be a time where Black Lure or Christine would go out. Go out and get the guest. Bring him back in.

So to just have somebody walk in, like even comedians who are friends of the show never just walk in. Ari, she already does that. Like I said, friends of the show. Well, we don't even give the studio number out. Like when we do confirmations, we don't give the studio. So he must have just remembered from last time,

but he was already checked in downstairs from ONA. So that's why we missed that alert. Cause he just already had, or not, I'm sorry. Wow. Checked in for years. Checked in since fucking 2003. He was checked in for Sam and Jim. Before Anthony was a racist.

He was just a funny bigot When he checked in downstairs and then he said the receptionist was there that was before Jim was gay For Jim was a gay man before Jim was gay and it was racist. He's eons ago Very startling no, he's great. I love him on the show. And I love the fact that he... He rolled with the Vince McMahon thing. Dude, he rolls with everything.

Last time he came in, too, he comes in and just hangs, which is great. He's not a stiff. He listens to the show. He's making references to the shit we said the day before. Yeah, dude. He's a... He's a real fan.

He's a great guest. It just shocked us all because... What if that was the day we like fuck this fuck the jewelry business I'm gonna stab Jay and Bobby With a gold dip rose a sharpened gold dip rose right in the heart I have a gold dip knife that I had made I'm gonna kill everybody with it today And there's this is why we're cattle though people wonder like how to like these people go in and just kill a bunch of people at the Same time exactly what happened in here This is why we're cattle though. People wonder like how to like these people go in and just kill a bunch of people at the same time.

Exactly what happened in here. None of us said anything. We were the bit we were the plane that went into the first tower. We just sat there and watched like I feel like we're going to that building. But he says if we all behave that you kill us. Yeah, it keeps going. Allah, I don't know. Praise Allah.

I don't understand what that is. Yeah. That's a good thing, right? Isn't that Bob Kelly that is. Yeah. That's a good thing, right? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Isn't that Bob Kelly's bit? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yeah, yeah. Christine's transformation was priceless. Oh, that's good stuff, though.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hey, Christine is a phony. What the f- hey. You've got a bag of stuff. I thought you needed to transform Christina's a bag of goodies. Hey, what the fuck?

Oh, hey. It's one of those for me. Oh treats, treats. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm gonna kill Jay. What? That's bull, oh, is that a bag of stuff?

Thanks. Let's talk about the Grammys, the overbites. We jumped off that pretty quick. Well, I have a photo, I'll send it. If you look at when Miley Cyrus won her award, the picture, I would have been furious. And this happens to me every time I do a festival, anytime I do some type of show,

they always use the worst photo of me ever. And this one for her, behind her, during during her war when she got her award She looks fucking she looks retarded. She looks like she's like her It's it's bad. Yeah, by the way They showed jelly roll for all of eight seconds once on the whole broadcast Yeah, they weren't up his ass at all when he sang he was singing along with Fast Car with Tracy Chapman in the audience and they showed him there, but I mean, and then same thing with that.

They didn't show him in the audience when they gave the nominees, like a picture of him at all, I don't think. And then they showed, or maybe they did for a second, but the picture they had of him on the stage was very unflattering. Like the picture they put up when they had all the nominees on the screen was like very unflattering.

I was kind of bummed out, they didn't, cause I really, you know me, I love inflated. I was kind of bummed out they didn't because I really you know me I love Jelly Roll. I'm rooting for him on everything. They didn't they didn't have anything with him last night. I mean nothing. He was up against all well one dude and mostly women. I mean yeah. Oh by said, uh, when Maluma came out with, um... What's your name? Maluma came out with Christine Aguilera to give an award. Maluma's who, uh...

Lewis' girlfriend was like a dancer. Okay. Four. And when that guy walked out on stage, I was like, pfft. Lewis has the gift of gab, dude. This girl... This girl could definitely be with this super handsome son of a bitch. Jesus Christ.

Look at this gorgeous man. She's shaking her tail feather behind this guy every night. That's what Louis should have been if his parents stayed alive. Yeah, the R.U. Garbage guy said, if Louis grew up by power lines, if this guy grew up by power lines. It's his brother. Yeah, what a handsome fellow. Yeah, he is gorgeous.

Holy shit. That would be a hard thing to watch your girlfriend go. She goes, listen, I'm gonna be gone for a few months with a string up my butt behind this super handsome guy who's very talented. Kyle, where are you? I'm in, I'm just in his room, rehearsing some of the scenes.

Is that her? Yeah. Which one? All the way on the left. Which one? There's three blondes. There's two blondes. All the way on the left.

The far left, that's her? Yeah. God, she's, yeah. God. She's gorgeous. Yeah. So much ass. Yeah, she's gorgeous.

I mean, Lewis is, he's doing all right right now. Let's just say the lights are turned on over at the Gomez house. The lights are definitely turned on. I mean, he's got bright lights over there so you can see it all. Yeah, all of our lights are out, but we have light bulbs ordered, but they're like, they're backup ordered or something. I gotta kind of back up Christina Dunn. Because of our physical bodies,

they had to turn the lights down a little bit over the years So it's fair enough. Yeah, they don't want to see what they're getting into They dimmed them for a while, which is fair. Yeah, well fuck between the hours of 945 and 6 Maduma, yeah, he's a good-looking guy. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't be able to deal with that God bless Lewis. I wouldn't be able to deal with that God bless Lewis. I wouldn't be able to deal with that I could deal with that. I mean is with listen that they have is gonna happen. It's gonna happen You know you're gonna do stop it. I get mad when fucking dawn doesn't the answer the phone at eight o'clock at night Where were you? Fuck what you doing? I do the opposite if I call like if I have a good moment go smoke a cigarette

I'm gonna go I'll bullshit with Christine for a little bit and she doesn't I'll call like three times if she doesn't answer Yeah, and there's just answers right back. I don't give a fuck I don't give two fucks. I hunter down I said I'm joking. That's actually what I mean with joking obviously that's what we always just type to each other go I don't give two shits. It's all the text will say You know what take one miss call for an answer like we always called you or three times I don't give a fuck. I also like won't take one miss call for an answer. Like we always call two or three times.

Oh yeah. Just try back, cause it's like, it's probably so. Well, I also think if she's talking to somebody else on the phone, I'm like, I don't care about that. Like I have time to talk now, I want to bullshit. None of it's checking up shit. It's just simply like, this is the time I have to talk. And then what's gonna happen is she's gonna call back

and I'm gonna be back like watching something on YouTube that I don't want her to I don't want to answer her call there. Don't he said you guys you went back in the queue. He goes I called you I go yeah, I got a cigarette was I after funnoy it was I after funnoy it No, you didn't weren't in the queue for that one I was in the queue last night for one right you were in the queue What was I third in the queue a second in the queue you were first on that? I was in the queue last night for one, right? You were in the queue last night. Was I third in the queue or second in the queue? No, you were first on that one.

I was first in the queue. That was a walk in the dog queue. I was the one. First one. I'm the one. Landed on Justin. Okay, whoa. Justin's pretty high in the queue.

He's high in the queue? Yeah. Especially dog walking? Is he high in the queue? No, you move back in the queue. I try you. If you don't answer, I try somebody else immediately. If you don't answer, I try somebody else immediately. If you don't answer, I try somebody else immediately.

So what happened that morning was talking about the We Are The World documentary. So I tried, Christine, just talked to Christine, didn't answer, called Soder, because I had already talked a little bit with Mike Finnoi about it. So I called Soder to get his thoughts on it. He told me he had watched it.

And then I tried Finoya and then Finoya answered. Shortly then Finoya's call, Soder called. So I answered, I was talking to Mikey for a little bit, then I switched over to... You are a lonely man. I switched over to Soder. Jesus Christ man. Switched over to Soda. I mean, Jesus Christ. I'm not a non-stop.

And then Christine called. And I... Oh my God, it's like... Christine called and I sent it to voicemail because she's back in the queue now. My God. You're back in the queue. I love you. That's like...

But she could have been first. Have you been alright? But now she's back in the queue. And she'll realize when she looks at my text. I don't give a fuck Blood transfusion is filling up on people Crazy so let me ask you a question so someone's's calling, right? You call. You call. Say you call me. I don't answer.

Then you call Lewis. He doesn't answer. Then you call Dan. He doesn't answer. But then you call Fanoia. He answers. You're talking to him. Then all of a sudden, I'll call back, right?

Do you say, hey, dude, I'll call you right back and go to me? And then if I'm on, then Dan calls. Then you go, Hey, dude, I got to take that. That's Christine. Do you lie about who's calling in? Or do you go, let me call you right back. Do you go, hell, that's Christine.

Did something happen? No, I don't lie. So you'll just say, I got to go. I'll call you right back and then go, how many times have you? There's other things I would never do. So I never have to lie about it. I will never ever. If me and you are at the tail end of like, we could definitely wrap the phone call up.

Like we're just kind of horseshitting by the end. And Sodor called, I would never answer that. Just for the energy it puts out into the world. I would never be like, oh Bobby, let me go. I have to tell Sodor something. I would never say those words out loud. Oh, that would hurt. Yeah, I wouldn't do it.

I love Sodor, but that would, hey, I gotta call you right back. I gotta go relive the old days real quick. So, soda has to jump back one more in the queue. I gotta go, I gotta go in the relationship that was a lot easier. Bobby, Bobby's, you and soda always have to be two in the queue away from each other.

There's gotta be somebody between them. Can't hang up with one for one. You got it, I get it. I get it, makes sense. It's a weird, it's a weird. And by the way, even if I, it's not even, it's the, it's something about the vibe of that energy. If Dan, if I was talking to Dan on the phone,

right when I go, dude, I have something so funny I want to tell you, and you called in on the other line, I would just go, oh dude, actually let me give you a call back. I'll call you back in a few minutes and tell you what it is called in on the other line, I would just go, I'll do it, actually, let me give you a call back, I'll call you back in a few minutes and tell you what it is, and I would answer your call. So you don't have to tell the person that you're talking to who's calling in.

Who you're hanging up for? If it's Christina, if it's Christina or Isabella, I do, because those are easy, they'll let you go. Right, but like, say, like, if I'm talking to like, Danny, my producer Danny, and you call, I'm hanging up, I'm just like, dude, I gotta go. Or if I'm talking to like somebody in my family, like my mother, and you call,

I'd be like, let me call you right back. I put the cell into the emotion. So I go, ah, shit, I really gotta take this. Who is it? I'm sorry. Who is it? What the fuck, are you all up in my business? Who has that?

Do you has that? I'm gonna from now on. Please do, is it? If I were'm gonna from now on. Who is it? I haven't even published one who ends the conversation first he goes, I do well I'll talk to you tomorrow. Why who's calling me on? Because you can hear the boop. You can hear the little boop. Where you like, I should be the person's voice go away from the phone going like, yeah, wait, what we just say? What's that? Hang on. No, we're cut off for a second now. To the, yeah, wait, what were you just saying? What's that? Hang on.

No, no, it cuts out for a second. No, I was going to the, Hey man, let me call you right back. What, what, what, what, what? Why, why, why? Who's calling? Who's calling? Who's calling?

I'm doing that from now on. My mom. I think my mom's cancer's bad. Where'd it go? Have you ever used somebody's death as an excuse to get out of something? I'm trying it. I must have, because I remember thinking feeling bad one time.

It was my grandfather I said, and it was like my grandfather. It passed for sure, but like, you know, 15 years before that. What was that for? There's nothing better when somebody dies of all the shit you can get out of that next two weeks. Like, I listen, man. I gotta to. Like, I listen, man, I, uh... Oh, yeah.

I gotta go. Yeah, my dad's dead. What? Thought that was a month ago. I know, but I'm still, uh... Yo, I'm sorry. I guess I don't snap back so fast like you do. I wish.

But I don't have a dad to call and talk about it right now. Uh... I'm talking about Lordy. Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. It flies't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's really great and there's plenty more there's plenty more meat on the bone of those Grammys dude. Oh, yeah, Miley Cyrus. What a pig

Something about her though. I said to you it's something about her. There's something I know what you mean. I'll tell you what it is. She'll take a picture of herself Taking a full leg spread piss while drinking a beer. That's what it is about her Under that and it's the only and and surprisingly enough and I'll listen to gangs I want to make sure I'm right about this. I only watched it when it was on Thanks everybody in the universe including her mom except her father And he's there is he I pretty sure he was there. Oh, I don't know if he was there But I saw our car. It was either him or Beyonce was Beyonce. No, I think there's two cowboy hats

No, it was Beyonce. It was Beyonce. No, I think there's two cowboy hats. No, it was Beyonce. It was C. Thomas Howe on a hat. What the? Dude, God bless her. She just really, is just willing to show you her fucking pussy. And that, I really gotta say, I appreciate that in an artist. She really turns my lights on.

She turns? Here we go. We gotta take a break. We'll be right back. She tinged. Here we go. We gotta take a break. We'll be right back. Don't forget. What's the matter with this shit? Don't forget, we got a big show. Do not forget everybody.

March 21st, coming up pretty soon, everybody. It's only a month and a couple weeks away. So get your tickets right now. You can go to robberkellylive.com. You can go to bigjcomedy.com. It doesn't matter. It all links to the same place. And this weekend, Uncle Vinny, there's literally four tickets left. He just.com. It doesn't matter. It all links to the same place

Uncle Vinny, there's only literally four tickets left. He just texted me fucking all four tickets left for Friday night Sadie's done four tickets left For Friday night. Let's first time a club call and said thank you if you sell those for I think Bobby told me I said he guarantees He'll do a 4 p.m. On Sunday. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Jay. No, no extra shows. No, it's point pleasant. So the beach. No, no, no, no. Does this two shows? I'm out. Two shows before tickets left and you want to accommodate all the fans. I do not. I do not anymore. Influx of fans. You're getting the bonfire. No, no, no. So you'll probably have to add two shows, maybe a midnight each night. There's no show to bed at three, four in the morning. I'll kill myself. Oh, when's the last time you

really went to bed three, four in the morning. I'll kill myself. Oh, when's the last time you really went to bed at 3-4 in the morning because you were getting home late from a gig that late? It's been a while, hasn't it? Big J is going to be all over the place. He's going to be at the Funny Bone Columbus, Ohio, this weekend, the 9th through the 10th. That's Friday and Saturday night. Tim, limited tickets available for that show. After that, he's going to be in Chicago, Vancouver, Nashville.

You're going back to Nashville. Nashville. For tickets and all of this, go to bigjcomedy.com. He's selling out everywhere, so get your tickets now before they're gone. Oh yeah, get them now. Yeah, I also am doing, and I wanna get some of the fans out for this too.

I still want it to be authentic though. I'm doing my first black circuit show in years. Ray Dijon, who now calls me every day, called me out. He's got my number through Tony Roberts, who I love, who wants to come on the show again. Tony Roberts, you mean? No, not the motivational speaker comedian. The giant? Not the comedian. Tony Roberts gave Ray Dijes my number and Ray called.

And I can't say no, because it was nerve-wracking. God, look at her puss. It was so nerve-wracking that I said yes to a show that I'm slowly, I think he has me headlining a new comedy club in Brooklyn. It's a black comedy club. You're headlining. But I'm not headlining.

I tell him I can't. I'm gonna go. Oh no, you should come for sure. Oh, 100%. I'm not going on, though. I'm going, I'm going. You have to go on. I'm buying a ticket. I tell him I can't. I'm gonna go. Oh no, you should come for sure. Oh, 100%. I'm not going on though, I'm going on. You're not going on. I'm buying a ticket? I want some fans to come out so I feel comfortable to do my thing, but it's gonna be really, really fun.

But it's gonna be big J and friends. I'm trying to get a Korean green on at Harris Stanton. I said, Matty Smith would be good on that, but I need to film it. Bobby, you do need to come watch because we have to talk about what happens. I'm telling you I Think it will ultimately go good, but you're gonna see some rough times damn Miley Cyrus. You don't give a shit

I hope You're gonna definitely see your fans in the crowd just hoodies and highlights Oh, that'd be really hilarious and just juggles in the middle of a Brooklyn Hood audience Yeah, but I wanted to also be like the audience I wanted to be like the in-house audience if I want to be relying on me to sell to you You have one chick with different sized titties in the audience Nice. What a pig. What a pig. I know she's great. We'll be right back. It's a bonfire Everybody thanks for listening.

That was just a portion of our actual Serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriesxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer. That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robberkellylive.com to check out our stand updates coming to a city near you. Clap your hands. Clap your hands.

Clap your hands.