The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Ufologists w/Dan St Germain & Sean Donnelly

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

From the Burbs Bros podcast and years of friendship, Sean Donnelly and Dan St. Germain are back to convince Jay that aliens exist. The two comedians are ufologists and offer compelling evidence that alien sightings are being hidden from the public. Bobby believes that he saw a UFO and proclaims himself a ufologist. Dan St. Germain was recently fired as a writer for the WWE and is bitter about it. Bob's wife Dawn calls in and Jay gives her an indecent proposal about a wife-swap situation. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly Check it out everybody right now go to YouTube comm Apple not I'm gonna do it like that. This is my only impression I go everybody go to youtube.com And download it's gonna shoot out of your mouth. Oh, what gonna walk over the table at me better it's available now it's one of the best specials he does crowd work with people but my son used to do it he's looking up and do things not about it it's about you it's about our guests about them no go to it we didn't announce it and we need people to go we're doing me nuts to watch your special.

Of course, we do it every day. Well, we didn't plug it. I want to plug it. Don't neg me and... Whoa. Don't neglect me. Hard arc. Don't act like a orange peel.

Okay. I'm trying to help you. Thank you. I love you. We have two great guests. The boys are back. That's what we say. Favorites over here at the Bonfire. They have a new show, the Burbs Bros,

at youtube.com slash burbs bros. It is the hilarious Dan St. Germain and Sean Donnelly. Yeah! Thank you, thank you guys. Appreciate it. I really like these two people. Of course. They're Burbs Bros.

You guys both live in the Burbs now? Is that the? No, first it started off as a suburban news podcast, and then I got off, I got Dan obsessed with UFOs, so now it's paranormal. Yeah, it's all paranormal. It's all paranormal. Just not changed the name?

It's so great. We just added a UFO to the graphic. Once we have money, we're gonna add stuff, but we've been getting, I mean, like, the people in that, anyone who's familiar with that space, we had Ross Coldhart, just had George Knapp who's like you had nap on yeah we had nap on yesterday I'm more excited about this these guys that I am you know like at this point meeting comedians you know cuz I'm so new to

this field you know but yeah Sean totally got me addicted to it. And we also didn't want to just be like, are you garbage light? You know, like those two things together. I think we're amazing. That's exactly right. Can I ask you a question? Do you believe in UFOs?

Yes. Absolutely. It's not about I believe, it's fact. 100%. Okay, I want to say this because I was driving home one day. Okay. On the, can you please? before you Before you put your hand over your face And turn on this let me tell the story

I was driving home on the West Side Highway and I saw a Unidentified object flying in the air. How far above? It was, no it was. About a bird's height? No, it was not a bird. Maybe spit apple on my screen. Jacob's gonna throw up.

It was not a bird. It was not a shape of a bird. It was like spheres together. Multiple? Huh? Multiple? Yeah, I mean it was too far away. I resent these sound effects a little, by the way. As a member of the community, I'm already offended. Yeah.

These are audio recordings Bobby took that day. This is Bobby's E-meter. Bye. Hey, I believe you Bobby. I'm all for it. I just want to say this. I saw this thing and it just, I've been driving up the West Side Highway for 25 years up and down that highway and I've seen a stealth fighter.

I've seen Chinooks. I've seen, you know, bombers, seen bombers, all this weird stuff flying up, all these weird planes, you can't help but see it because it's so, the sky is right there. And all of a sudden I see this thing I've never seen, 25 years, and I took a photo of it and it was something. Yeah, you still have the photo? Yeah, well someone has it.

I would love them to see it. And I took the photo and I was like, It was something. You still have the photo? Yeah, well someone has it. I would love them. And I took the photo and I was like, that is something. That is not a bird. That is not, and then all of a sudden the last. Is that a plane? It's not Superman. We widow it down to not being those three things. But we don't know.

This is the problem doing a radio show with a non-believer. He's a non-believer. To the point you guys did a live one once and I came on and then Jacob tried to fuck me as an alien. Or something like that. Oh yeah, he had several dicks. Jacob likes aliens too? Well I believe you Bobby. I swear to God, I got a photo of it and here's the thing.

Now all of a sudden in the last year, what's happening up down the West Side Howard? What's going on in Jersey? Everybody's seeing shit in the sky. If this was if the stuff was real, and I don't know. I'm no smarter than anybody who has probably better Rationals for there is he's gone real quick. Oh, yeah, I guess this question. I'm very sorry. Hey really quick Don You're on the radio. Can you hear I? Can hear okay, we can hear you Jay would like to ask you a question or he has something to say to you I've been waiting all this time. We have

We have yes Bobby was saying today on the show that he feels that you and I are Far more similar and compatible and then he and Christine he feels are much more like incompatible I'm gonna say really what I said is you're cold-hearted We actually love and have affection and show emotion and you guys like yeah, whatever deal with it Dawn Christine Christine called me today

Did you just call Christine man, I mean Diagnosis Jay has a question for you listen up your husband Robert jokingly suggested a wife swap situation For a set period of time my concern would be that I think you and I would have a sexual awakening and it would cause long-term problems in both of our relationships That's a real lateral move for her, you know. I'm just... That's a real... You want to either get out of comedy or go up. I know we're all having a good time here, but I'm pretty good at mouth stuff is all I'm saying.

All right. Honey, I love you. Your relationship's safe. I'll talk to you later. Okay, perfect. All right. I had a sex dream. I loved your invoke Kelly Clarkson.

I'll tell you that.. Okay, perfect. I had a sex dream, I loved your dreamboat, Kelly Clarkson. I'll talk to you later, bye. Let's be honest, everybody on this show looks like the Guess Who game of the same guy. Because he had glasses. Yeah, it's just like a creative character, you alter a hat. You're like, oh, this is him in green. My argument against, to go back to where we were,

my argument against the alien stuff being real is I just like, how could they hide it so, it stuff being real is I just like, how could they hide it so it's like, it's just like, to me, you couldn't stop people from finding out really, if it was real. Like, you couldn't distract us enough from that being the most important thing in the world. So there's, there's tons of evidence for it being real, like they basically admitted they had a congressional two congressional hearings where they were like, it's for real, like the Navy has come out and been like, we're seeing these things are completely being real. Like they basically admitted they had a Congress, two congressional hearings where they were like, it's for real.

Like the Navy's come out and been like, we're seeing these things are completely for real. They have tons and tons of data. Is there any not debunked ones at all? There's tons that's not debunked. Yeah. If you look at the Richard Dolan books or the- Doles?

Doles? Dolesy and that. Robert, it's Hastings, right? The guy who wrote UFOs and nuclear weapons. These aren't theories. Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles,

Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles,

Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dulles, Dull four and a half years before someone actually called me a comedian I had to do like Fallon right before people are alright you're a comedian I've been called a ufologist immediately there was no waiting period immediate lieutenant I have immediately become a ufologist Dan can I ask a question? Dan since I saw one and I believe am I? Well the reason that I'm on the podcast is Bobby we have some special news for you Can I ask a question? Dan, since I saw one and I believe...

Well, the reason that I'm on the podcast is, Bobby, we have some special news for you. You have become a UFOologist. Yay! You'll be getting your badge in the mail. Your territory is West Side Highway. Your picture? Can they see your picture? Yeah. Are you going to find it? If you can find it, that'd be great.

Well, here's the thing. You saw this thing. It was pretty detailed. I'm looking. I'm looking. Okay. are you wanna find out if i had a great now well here's the thing you saw this thing is great you have a looking at what happened to the u of o news connection is that the idea that these things started showing up when we started testing nuclear bombs because whatever was shut up in their area that the amount of power involved show up in their radar that's where you get roswell with it on tell you about roswell is that for for years prior they were testing nuclear bombs an area for for the past whether they develop the actual that was the whole thing out there,

rather than the Utah, right? It was, that whole area. Yeah, exactly. It's the monkey with the gun theory, where these beings are way more advanced than us, but the fact that we were able to pull off nuclear war, they're like, how the fuck did they do this? You know, like, we didn't see this coming,

we didn't see this monkey being able to do this. So that's why they're here. They're basically seeing what we're up to. And then just the amount of stuff that's come out in the, like, you went from it being like X-Files type scenario to like the New York Times reporting on it. Why are they always all so evil-faced? There's not one that's cute.

They never have a drawing of one that's so, like, oh, look at that adorable alien. It's either a black smokey cloud or a menacing thing that turns, or everyone sees it turn around in green lighting, like. Jake, there's a fucking good, good advertiser for our episode that premieres tonight at midnight, Dr. Michael Masters, he is the aliens

or future humans theory. M.M.? Yes. Yeah, good guy. M.M. Bad ass. You can check him out at the M.M.M. store. M.M.? Yes. Good guy. M.M. Bad ass. You can check him out at the M.M.M. store. M.M.T.

Check him out. But the reason, Jay, they look like that is the facial features are coming closer and closer together. And if you'll get Neanderthals, their features there. And then we came back here, so aliens will be right in the middle. Tiny faces.

The one in Mexico that they found, the alien, that's just from Carvel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just's just from Carvel. Yeah. Just fudging the whale. Yeah. Alien poos. That's actually just, yeah. Alien poos.

It just looks like a girl with an eating disorder. It looks like warm flimboil. It's just Karen Carpenter. Yeah, it's Sharon Osborne. But here's the thing. I sent her the photo. Now if you look at this, now know this, I'm driving up the West End Highway,

this thing is moving parallel to me the opposite way. The speed of a bird. What? The speed of a bird. It's not a bird. Let me see, can you go back to the photo? That's an aburr. That's the Nazca.

No, that's the Nazca. No, but did you pull up Jay's, was that Jay's? No, she had my photo, I sent it to her. She had it up. Can I look at the photo again? Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. up Jay's? Was that Jay's? No, she had my photo. I sent it to her. She had it up. Oh, can I look at the photo again? Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. So you're driving up and it's parallel to you on the West Side Highway.

So I'm driving up, now I see it and I'm like, that's weird. And now I see it's moving, right? This way. Bobby. Bobby. Bobby. And my radio. I'm gonna woke up.

Then your radio station started changing. Is it this? It's that? Didn't your radio station started changing. Is it this? It's that? Didn't your radio start speaking to you in song lyrics like Bumblebee? Yeah, it's right up. Yeah, there it is. Right there. Okay, go a little closer.

So here's the thing. So now they have this... The bird. The bird that you're pointing at. That looks like one of the Sky Watchers. That's not a bird. That is not a bird. A bird would do this. I would see the wings. All right, it's not a bird. That is not a bird. A bird would do this.

I would see the wings. All right, it's not a plane. A bird does this. But before it's a UFO, it is Superman. Okay, first, just try this, because it's real fun. Yeah, it's a bird. A bird does this.

So they have a thing where they classify these things with the five observables. And what they realize, they've been seeing things that have no obvious signs of exhaust or a propulsion and they're going at the weird erratic directions and speed no wings as well there's a cut there's a few other ones but this thing stopped it was going and stopped right which was wild and that's yeah and then it and then it just kind of went it started going but it was weird it was like it's not a bird I see now go close from that again it's a bunch of balloons it's not it's not

it's a several children's balloons it's not a balloon dude it's not a balloon a lot of times these types of things change shape they have videos of that you ever see the wall as a UFO ologist. This is insulting to our art form. Thank you, Dr. Kelly. Thank you very much. Am I did I get doctor? Yes. Yeah. It's rare. It's rare. It's rare we get this many scientific minds in the room. I get I I just want to I want to apologize. I get jealous. I feel inferior academically.

Hey, you all joking aside, the podcast is weekly. It's every week. Okay, but you guys understand what I'm saying. I've driven up that highway and seen every aircraft, whatever it is, going up and you notice it. You ever see a hot air balloon? Would you come on our show, Bobby? Yeah, with my evidence? Yes. As a survivor. Yeah, I didn evidence? Yes! As a survivor. I didn't survive anything. Sure you did. They're not here to hurt us.

You saw it, that thing could have swooped right on you. Now, because I, up in New Hampshire... They're not here to hurt us? Is that what they told you through song lyrics on your radio? They're not. Up in New Hampshire, I hate that you are not... you're insulting our guests. So nothing would convince you. Jay, nothing would seem alien would help that. Seeing a sharp, not blurry picture in the era of 16K television.

So you know the couple and four billion iPhones on the planet. It is. I hear you. Sean, you're not helping our fucking case. No, no, no. I get it, but dude, you don't know, there is. We have a Patreon. Shut up. I'm joining tonight. As Dr. Kelly.

I'm very interested in it. If you get the $10 tier, I draw you an alien picture. Actually, I'll give you signed photos of my alien ship. Here we go. If you join their Patreon. Thank you very much. You will get a $50 tier, which we haven't announced yet. Listen, I have a hippie dip.

I said we were out back last night, and look, we finally have stars in Jersey. And looking up and having those, it's like, infinite universe, man, it's all so crazy out there. So who the hell knows? I just feel like if we were, I'm not saying it's impossible they exist. My belief is they probably do exist somewhere.

I just think if there was contact made in any way, like why would this be hidden forever? There's a lot of theories on that. Yeah, there's a lot of theories. What if they created a- It's as silly to me as, let me say it's as silly to me as when people go, whenever I've heard flat earth stuff,

which is nonsense, awesome, when people bring flat earth, my first argument to that is simply right there, is that why is flat earth nonsense? Why would you say that? Stop it. You stop it. I will, because I can't do that.

But I'm saying yeah. But when people do flat earth, like what? Dr. Kelly's losing his credentials. They can answer to you why they think it, they can do it, but when you say, and this is all things been covered up, that's the never answer to you why they think it, but when you say, and this is all things been covered up, that's the never answer question, why? It changes fucking nothing in anybody's life, clearly.

Do you like to take the show? He goes, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, you wanna handle this one? Hold my beer. Show starts warm, he goes, I was hoping it wouldn't get here. You're fucked around and found out? I was hoping it wouldn't get here Real quick there's there's multiple reasons one the what Dan note mentioned already is like the it's the ant with the handgun theory Where it's like we don't contact ants and ants see in like one dimension these things are from a different dimension or somewhere else

We're such a dick, I can feel him. I can feel him next to me. Oh, you're being, oh, you're reacting. Dude, I am with the ant in the hangout theory. 100%. I have a whole bunch of ants on my lawn now. They don't fucking care about me. They don't even know I'm here.

By the way, this is a funny thing that, I know they're not your theories, but it's always funny, it's a rogan, when you hear on the rogan sphere a lot if somebody come in the theory's always got a hilarious name it's like a thing and a thing it's like you never heard the donkey banana theory donkey the banana blah blah blah the Bible can I ask a question is one of the one of the reasons they don't want us

to know about this is because it will mess up religion for people. That's one of them, right? That's one of them. I think the big reason, I think it's all down to money. Is the power source. They've discovered, these things have discovered zero net energy.

We don't need fossil fuels anymore. A lot of billionaires aren't gonna be billionaires anymore. So they wanna keep that down because they need to keep making that money off of us. Absolutely. Off of the ants. Yeah, and there's one of the billionaires' decisions is also to keep quiet, and goes, hey listen, there are aliens,

but that is gonna fuck up your coal company. So, it's a good sign. One of the whistleblowers, the recent ones, is this guy David Grush, he went in front of Congress under oath and said that. Grushy. Grushy. Grush he went in front of Congress under oath and said He said He said how there's been there's been a multi-decade conspiracy that supersedes the government for all these these these basically these NAFTA countries these these democratic countries to

Be the first one who figures out whatever this technology is that these things can do this is an anti-gravity Whatever you want to call it. Well, now the pyramids, they just discovered all this stuff underneath them. And then you go down and you look at the pyramids and how they got this stuff from 200 miles away in these things with just men. They had to have some type of-

It's the biggest question. I think it's part, that's one we're never gonna answer, but why is it, and Sean's brought this up, why is it that you have the most advanced civilization in the world in this particular point in the area, and that just to kind of in a way they've got stones and rocks and they can't, they're just so much more advanced with their irrigation

and agricultural systems, it doesn't really make any sense other than they had some help. Unless somebody from some other universe came here, planted these us, and grew us as they see fit and gave us knowledge as we needed it. Well, there is a working theory that these things. The chimpanzee pickle theory. All right.

This is the xylophone manatee theory. The nap crusher theory. This is the. What's called xylophone manatee? This is the. This is the xylophone manatee theory. The nap crushes here. What's called xylophone manatee? This is the oboe muskrat theory. I'm sorry, I thought you were doing the Chick-fil-A Polynesian sauce theory. That's my favorite theory. There is a theory that they came down, gave the Egyptians the story of Horus, which is the basis for the three major Abrahamic religions,

Islam, Christianity, Judaism. It all stems from that, specifically the first story. You can hear a lot of this in the Corey Feldman's son's hip hop works. Who has named himself. Wait, Corey Feldman has a son? Yeah, his name is, his rapping name is Horus Eisen. His name is Zen, and he's doing Horace's I, Zen.

So it's Horace Eisen. It's not easy to say, and it still sounds Jewish. And he's like, he's running from Feldman. That's the whole point to change it to Dylan. He's running from Feldman by going Horace Eisen. It's like my rap name is Zip Zimmerman. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But in- Y'all flash Rabinowitz. Religion, religion was created to control us, to help us give us a compass, a moral compass, so that we, we don't get. Beat, beat, you know, it's the pad nozzle thing, we don't beat each other to death. Right. So they gave, they gave us all these different religions to control us, to help us, so that

we can. And once people, black people were like, why would these white people to control us, to help us so that we can. And once black people were like, why would these white people's god have to do them? He goes, oh, there's a black god too. And the Indians were worried. He goes, oh, you got an elephant god. Whatever you guys want. Whatever you want.

What if you have an elephant? You mean the lady with 19 arms? I mean, look at how in McDonald's you can get, you know, ramen in Japan, right? You know, like, so maybe they have a different,'s you can get, you know, ramen in Japan, right? You know, like, so maybe they have a different, it's a different, you know. Believe it or not, when it comes to these cultures, you've seen these drawings that are like,

that kind of looks like an alien. It's not that, what is it? In some of the artwork on the walls inside the pyramid, they have aliens. Yeah. Yeah. I just discovered this, I think last year or the year before, up in New Hampshire. I forget what town it is.

A pack of balloons. Right by us. There was a couple back in the 50s. Betty and Barney Hill. Yeah, that's it. Biracial couple, by the way, back then. And they were traveling on a road, and they got abducted by aliens.

Yeah. It's that. It has to be. Hey, were those aliens? They happen to be wearing robes with pointy hats I just started doing a whole new Betty and Barney Hill chunk in my head and is that when they get abducted they're relieved they're like oh thank God it's just aliens that's basically the bit but there's no way but the point

of that fucking bit but the point of that fucking bit. But the point of that bit, Sean, is that in 1961, in fucking Boston, what interracial couple wants more attention on themselves? First of all, they went way up to New Hampshire to do this. They wouldn't have done this in Boston. But they still have to go back to Massachusetts. My mama told me, my problem was, I said, you messing around with a white bitch,

you going to get abducted. I said, hell no. Every single picture of Barney Hill, he looks scared. That's how I know it's true. He's a good looking guy, I mean she's a beast. It looks like Teddy Smith. He looks like Will Smith there. I gotta see, we gotta watch the James Earl Jones movie

for the pod. Look at that, that looks like Mark, she looks like Mark Maron with a wig. And he is. That looks like the Staples Center. Mark is way more handsome than she is. You say the ship was the Staples Center? Yeah, he goes, he goes, now, you see over here, he goes,

now you're going to put the field's going to be inset. This is so going to be, and I'm going to call it, so fast, A.D. He's crazy. It's the Boston Garden. It's going to be the Boston Garden. We all know Jay's funny, but that's not the point of this. That's not making me right. I will say, disclaimer, funny skits, Jay, but we're trying to get to the truth.

I'm funny, but I'm probably not right. Do not take my word as gold. Well, they also the article they probably mentioned, they put them under hypnosis and they started describing exactly what happens to them on the ship. If you I listen to the whole they have a big documentary on YouTube, The article they probably mentioned, they put them under hypnosis and they started describing exactly what happens to them on the ship. I listened to the whole, they have a big documentary on YouTube and it is pretty wild.

Cause back then, this guy, what was he gonna do? Why are they doing this? For what? There's no reason, they're not gaining anything. Absolutely. If anything, they're actually bringing attention to them when they didn't want to. Right.

Yeah. N-word lover. No, that was another part of the lover where I go like imagine if there are more races just keeping you away we thought we took care of that gene planets out of control the aliens races but still says n-word Don't go near his belly button or anus like I don't want you mixing with races, but I'm not a monster At least they're not gay Why does this black guy have a Boston accent it's weird Yeah, why does

Your cock suckers. He talks funny. Are there working theories about why it's always somehow ass? Because it's just our only hole in our body besides our mouths? Well, it's not just the ass ones get the most attention, but they- Your soul is kept in your colon. That's what it comes to.

Mine is. But they do insure it in other places. Bobby calls it his soul. I have a tattoo that says soul. Yeah. He goes, Bobby, sing from your soul in tonight. I'm reading John Mack's book, who is a Harvard psychologist. Mack's is the best.

I'll take his word for it. Harvard psychologist. Oh, he's dead now, but yeah. But it seems as if most of the abductions, they are concentrated on either your brain or the genitals. It doesn't seem like they give a fuck about your respiratory system or gastrointestinal stuff. That's also what gays are interested in. Your head and your genitals.

Well, they like the guts, too. That's a, if you're a gay autistic, the aliens love you. That's another theory. Yes, that's another thing. Women, gays, gays. The psionic, the telepathic ones, that's the new one. Oh, because I thought they were like puppies, and they'll just go wherever you tell them to go.

We are, no. You just drop a ramp out of your ship, they'll just go. All this shit is real, we're fucking interviewing, next week we're interviewing a psychic medium employed by the CIA, okay? She's not, this is not like somebody like in fucking Long Island, all right? This is the real deal.

First of all, you're never gonna become a doctor, and you're not gonna become a UF, what am I again? UFologist. I'm a UFologist. I don't even know how to fucking say it. How do we say it, Sean? How do we know she's employed by the CIA? Did your media employee?

Because she told us. That's right. And how do you know I saw? Shut up, Sean! You're fucking us again! We're trying to get this Patreon up the grid. Because she has an email at CIA. We've been on 20 different TV shows

and they haven't hit, we need this! I think this is the one. Dan's flipping out. Dan, settle down, Dan. Get a hold of yourself. Oh, shit. Dan just went full heel. Fuck that place.

Hacksaw Jim Duncan real bad. I think it's a fantastic commercial for the show. He just said fuck that business. Fuck all the fucking wrestling business. Come on dude. It's a good business. Did you like WrestleMania? I don't know Bobby. I was fired. Did they think it was you watching privileges? Well you went from real wrestling to UFOs.

So there you go. Yeah, something more real. No, I thought the ending was a letdown for sure. You know, it was a total letdown, but... Yeah. I also, I think there's a lot of politics involved in that too. Is there behind the scenes like stuff,

they don't do stuff that they should do because of bullshit. It's all bullshit. Yeah dude it's a far pettier world than comedy. Than UFOs. UFOs a good world. UFOs a better world than comedy and wrestling. Yeah. Both of them. We welcome everyone. Both of them light on chicks. The UFOologist will never have a Me Too scandal. It's medically impossible for them to have one. On the flat earth, remember that flat earth documentary we watched years ago?

There was one girl who was relatively attractive and she was, they all, it didn't matter what she said, they were just all following her. They couldn't believe a girl was involved finally. She's like, I think flat earth's flat because it's a cooler shape. That's also a good reason. Why are there no girls in the UFO ologist place? Well, there are, they just have three tits. It's the chick from the bar in Total Recall.

I've always thought that was hot. The third tit. Oh, three tits would be so much better than two. I want a dead center like that. We got to wrap it up. We're going to wrap it up. We have to commercials and shoot. They got a brand new podcast, Jay.

Tell them about it. I'm going to listen. Burbs Bros. YouTube.com slash at Burbs Bros. They have a Patreon also. Yeah, Patreon.com slash burbs bros Ross Coldheart episodes awesome What tier should they go to?

There's only one right now There's two God damn it Sorry Sorry Make sure you check out that patreon Sign up very very fucking funny guys Man and uh and put some serious subjects We're gonna get to the bottom of shit.

They're interviewing some pretty heavy hitters in the world. Yeah, no it is comedy but we are we do have heavy hitters on this. Hell yeah. You can catch Dan St. Germain in Milford Connecticut May 8th for tickets and all their tour dates go to danstgermain.net and Sean Donnelly is gonna be at Souljowls this Saturday April 26th for tickets go to souljowls this Saturday April 26 for tickets Go to souljowls.com. Thank you guys so much for being here. Thank you Big J this weekend. I'm in Tulsa is in North Kekelak. I'm in North Carolina at the word nerthy Where am I?

Charlotte Charlotte. Oh nice. Oh comedy zone. That's the fucking greatest man. Are you gonna say Charlottesville? That's where your heart's at First time there and the ticket sales are showing that I Guess the Jews are replacing you He's not popular down I guess this Yankee's not popular down there. God damn it. Yeah, make sure you go there and check out Big Jay's special right now. It's on YouTube.

YouTube.com slash Big Jay Okersen. They, it's killing it. Part two. It's killing it. So there you go, we'll be right back. And we will be right back. We'll catch you guys. So enjoy the pre-record tomorrow.

And then, I know. Can you get, Christine, can you get us her contact woman that's our third entry on here that's us that's a Morse perfectly sharp picture than any picture of an alien I've ever seen god damnit Jay absolutely we'll get you guys Monday again live on the Bonfire. Until then, enjoy the pre-record. Track, track, track. ["Jacob Loves Guys"] So I didn't understand this weekend

that you told me that Jacob likes guys. And I didn't understand. Jacob loves guys. Jacob loves guys, that's right. Jacob loves guys. I love them. So we have a sitcom that we wrote. With no further ado. Starring Big Jay Okusen as Tim Butterly.

Okay. And Jacob playing Jacob himself. The role of Jacob. Here we go. He's looking angry. Ah! He's feeling shy. Meh.

And we know why, we know why Jacob loves guys, Jacob loves guys Those ass cheeks Oh yes, yes, yes, yes! I love it when a guy compliments my vibe Jacob loves guys! Jacob Loves Guys was filmed in front of a live studio audience. Interior Comedy Club, New York City.

The green room is mostly empty except for Jacob. Slouched on the couch, arms crossed, looking like someone just stole his favorite action figure. Tim walks in, sipping from a bottle of water. What's with the face, Jacob? You look like someone just told you Die Hard's not a Christmas movie. You really leaving? Yeah, man. I told you last week I'm moving to Austin. Got that writing gig, remember? Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually do it. And Die Hard is absolutely a Christmas movie. What? You thought I was going to stay here forever just to watch you cry when the diner

runs out of fries? No, I just thought, I don't know, that maybe you'd change your mind or the universe would stop you or like your car would explode. Yo, you wanted my car to explode? Not with you in it. Okay relax. Jesus look I get it. When Dan and Shane left, you were the same way.

I was not. You just emotionally collapsed in a Wendy's parking lot and tried to fight a trash can. Yeah, that sounds like me. Point is, it sucked. You got over it and hey, you made new friends, like Bobby and you still have Jay. I don't want new friends. I hate people. And Jay is slowly

transitioning into a middle-aged lesbian. I like Bobby, but Bobby is not Dan. You're one of the only people I don't want to throw punch on sight. Aww, that's nicest thing you've ever said to me. Don't make this sentimental, man. I'm just saying, maybe there's more to this, like, maybe you have feelings.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Strong feelings. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Maybe, just maybe. You might like guys. No, I don't. Hey, no judgment. It's 2025, man.

You can cry over your boy leaving and still be straight, or at least buy Curious. I'm not buying Curious, I'm just... Friends sad, there's a difference. OK, OK, friends sad, got it. I just don't want you to go. Who's gonna make fun of my outfits or finish my fries when I pretend I'm on a diet? You mean when you say you're on a diet with a cheeseburger in your mouth?

Yes, that's our thing. We'll still talk, man. Call, text, FaceTime. I don't want digital Tim, I want real life Tim. I want Wednesday night wingman Tim. I want accidentally brought the same shoes Tim. You're literally crying like a five year old whose balloon floated away. I miss you and you're not even gone yet. Okay. Now I kinda believe you're straight. This is way too dramatic to be romantic.

I'm straight Tim. I just have a lot of feelings and I don't know what to do with them. Dude, I love you too. Don't say that, unless you mean it. I mean you too. Don't say that unless you mean it. I mean it man. Can I have a juice box? What? I don't know it just feels like a juice box moment. I'll get you a juice box buddy.

Tim Hanks is to find a juice box. Jacob curls up on the couch like a heartbroken toddler. I'm not gay, I'm just emotionally attached to a guy who smells like cedar wood and always carries gum. Totally straight. Jacob loves guys. He's looking fly. He's feeling high. And here's why. I sure do. On next week's episode, Bobby and Jay tell the world Jacob's secret that Jacob likes guys.

I love them. Thursday night at 8 only on NBC.