The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Unapproachable (feat. Joe DeRosa)

Episode Date: July 27, 2020

If you need Dan Soder to be there he will be fast, but can the Bonfire co-host just slow down. Cheating on your partner is bad enough, but Jay thinks its how you get caught that truly determines if you can be forgiven. Kanye West’s speech sparks a discussion about bi-polar disorder.

You're listening to Comedy Central! BAM! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. Oakerson. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 PM on Comedy Central Radio, Syria's XM95, or on demand on the Syria's XM app.

Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire, SXM. Crackle Crackle Camper's it's the black tiger black king black loo and welcome to the bonfire's best of the week. There's no doubt that if you need Dan Soder to be there for you he'll be there fast. But can the bonfire co-host learn to just slow down? You and Katie take walks together. I really hope you change your your walk demeanor When you're trying to Never change it for anybody. Take a walk with them. I'd rather take an over with them and walk three blocks Sometimes it does for two and three fours those blocks. He's gonna be walking ahead of me just like Not talking while we're walking

There heads down. Let's get there. Dude, I got to strive. If you have a walk, you're like a lady. He's like a lady wearing a dress with fucking LA Gears arm. Like, you're just trying to make a train. I'm the mall. I'm the mall before it's open, baby. Yeah, but let's take a nice walk.

Dude, we'll talk and have a walk. And then it's like me, Beerodden Dan, walked to the stand from R. yesterday and me and be right talk We have we had personal personal secretive talks that we things we didn't want Dan to know and it was no He was a half a block ahead of us Into my ears just shredding it Some people walk some people walk to play grab ass. I walk to get there Some people walk, some people walk to play grab ass. I walk to get there.

What's that? What's that being in soda walk? One time me and Dan had the share on our bro and walk and I can feel him rolling his eyes at me the whole time. Yeah, I might as well have fucking walked at leisurely pace. Oh, cool. Do we have a song for every step we take?

Yeah. Are we choreographing something? What is the walk? I don't know. Are you trying to, are you not moving to a lot? People with your body heat? Why are you taking too long? Are you waiting for wind to push us? I would honestly say it's the thing I'm the most criticized about from women in my life.

Every single one of my girlfriends is like, can you fucking slow up? And I'm like, I don't know, I got this gazelle-like stride. Do you want me to- You don't even- you put me with open road in front of it. I want to drop the hammer. But you don't even- you don't even want me with a can't jump with you. Sometimes I speed it up to get next to you. And then you look over at me with a face that almost says like, have I slowed down? And then you get it up faster. You know, I'm supposed to be in front of everyone. I just always- I don't know what it is about walking, but I...

You're kind of a can, dude. You're a fireball. I bet you have a shitty face on to. I've never seen it. I've never been in front of you. But I bet you have a shitty face on to. No, man. You're on the same... You're back. Looks like you have a shitty face on. You see my face, you're like, wow.

Look at this. Look at this pleasant for walking as fast as he is. No, I think you just shut off and like, you put in the navigation and you just move forward. I mean, on a long walk, you don't even want to... Why, I'm just gonna slow me down, dude. But you're going to the place with those people. I mean, I'll see you there. We'll talk.

When you walk to a movie theater together, I have a feeling at some point, you'd cell phone call me and be like, do you want to think from the stack bar Yeah, I'm together, dude. I would take an excuse to peel off and really throw it into fifth Damn fall ass as a short king who's up with you I Will say that yeah, I mean I have to say to myself

You just focus on keeping up with him. Jacob, I would honestly. It's your face is New York. I like your face because it's like, don't fuck with me. I feel like you need that face in New York. I don't think it's mean, but it's like, you're not a sucker. But, but, Jacob, so at the University of, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but from the Bonfire studio anywhere and I'm Ralph Meade the Buffalo and you guys are just like, let me fucking hold on to this guy. As another short king,

yeah, there was a time in Austin because you know there's a 7-11 right by the hotel. Yeah, I saw you in there and you were getting food first and you waited for me outside, which I thought was thank you so much Like that's so awesome because it was late too Yeah, I walked outside to stay with you We started walking together and it was like you took off one step for you for me and I just I wanted to be like wait Consider it. See I'm a tall village idiot my strides are with you, but he is just hauling ass. I know beast person would have done better. I was just going to say I had a friend that was

really heavy and I remember we, you know, we were one of my very, very close friends. And so I got so frustrated walking with him one time. This is when I still smoke cigarettes that I go, you know what dude? I'm just going to walk there and then I'm going to smoke a cigarette. Then I go you know what dude I'm just gonna walk there and then I'm gonna smoke a cigarette and Walking and smoking so I just like what I remember I remember I swear to God saying to him like I'm just gonna walk there and then smoke a cigarette And I'll see you there. Oh shit dude. That is so bad. There is something even I Know that's a dickhead move, but I know it's a bad person. It's a bad person thing to do But I will tell you that I do understand because Well, you're saving yourself from though is and I know you are a man with a lot of soul and a big conscience. I know you are and

It's a very sweet thing, but it's almost better just a hall ass and get there Then to I would feel like it. I feel you feel the same way You're putting the pressure on him to walk at a reasonable human's rate. And then when they're putting it, when you're putting in half-speed and they're putting in double-speed and you're hearing them go, and you're like, and you're like, I'm bored. Like I'm bored waiting for you. It's like, I, it's the only, it's so guilty about that. The only acceptable energy to walk with someone of that size and And stay behind me the galloping dance odor. I want to fucking get out there and fly and so if I slow down

The only energy you can get is Someone who's nursing someone back from a spinal injury where they're like come on and they got their hands on the fucking you know the thing with that and they're like come on come on it's like I don't want to fucking sit there with my friend and have that energy I'll go rip a candle light so you know I'll kill myself while you I want you to imagine the feeling I felt that when Bobby Kelly goes I don't think Jay's gonna hike like Jay's not a hiker he's right I'm not a hiker but Bobby Lee could be not a hiker like he I'm not gonna go with him I'm not a hiker I go how about I go Bobby and I'll leap frog you both directions like a parking meter to you but are you fucking crazy I don't think Jake can hack it I'm not saying I can't hack it

but I can definitely hack it better than you can hack it dude Dude, the hike off, the great bonfire hike off, with you and Bobby. We have an old samurai mission. You have to go up a mountain and retrieve a lotus flower and then come back down and Bobby's like, dude, fucking half way up there. Dude, dude, for comedic effect, if you wanna see me dust him and Christine

in the same fucking sprint race. Not a problem, buddy. Dude, I'm not a problem. I will dust Bobby Kelly and Kristina. They're both going to be back there fucking lingering like two of Dan's friends way behind him. Dude, dust. I call all my friends dust people. That's right. Put them.

Do you guys like dust? Like no, I guess weird. You've eaten a lot of it today. I want to say since I was 16 years old, my mom has really kind of let me do my own thing. We've kind of respected each other on a level where it's like, hey, you know, that's where I got the joke from because we're more like roommates than we are like mother son. The one thing that she is always like, dude, you got to work on this is working as walking in public.

She's always, she's still to this day, but like, Dan, please slow down. I cannot walk as fast as you. That's what she always says. I was not taking out the back seat when she drives you. Like you don't want to talk to her, you just like sit in the bike and stuff. Look at this.

I do the wheel fail. You're headphones while she drives. Yeah, she goes, stand and I go what what's that what you want to get burgers yeah yeah good times go good times burgers go stop why don't you get extra sauce mom is. Mom is Keith coming. Mom, did you buy me a mountain do at the store? Cans. Okay. Man, this makes me feel bad. I got to start. Who can be my walking coach?

Jacob, will you be my walking coach? I'm walking with you, but yeah, we do have to walk twice as many strides as you. I would actually prefer it. It can both short kings teach me how to walk. It's not a proper. You're not going to get a proper rate out of guys. We have to take three steps for you.

One steps. Yeah, but then, but then yeah, what's up? What's I mean, I got to say as a medium size king, Dan, you walk your pace is perfect. You don't lolly gag. I like to get there. I think I can keep up with you. And I think you just fine. Yes, whiskey.

Let's be, let's just go out. You know what? Let's have a nice walk when we get back into studio. We'll get to the smoking spot first. Let's just go out. You know what? Let's have a nice walk when we get back into studio. We'll get to the smoking spot first. We'll get there quick. You know what? I've always really respected the way that Lou moves. I don't know if I've said that, but I've always really respected DJ Lou's movement.

We've walked as a group to dinner after the show before. We've walked with groups of radio city for a couple of things. And I will say in all those things it is a nice camaraderie hang of groups of two and just dance sprinting ahead just his book bag west again. Do you want to do you want a point name or do you want someone that's going to get fucking the entire group killed? Dance dance soda walk fast and carry a big book bag. Dude put your weight on your back and your fucking hit will be powerful. You have 40 pounds on you also. Dude, come on. You got a heavy-ass bookbag that hurts my shoulder every time I bring it downstairs.

And I fly with it, Jacob. I'll get rid of the wig with this. It's my dance. This is my dance of brick shithouse. I'm just been fucking training myself like I'm jock. Oh, will it? Your big leg your book bags full good You know what you get better from learning from your friends and I've learned that I'm an elite pace walker And I've learned that if I want to get out there and get all the engine get the engine really revved up I'll walk with whiskey.

And if I want to do a crawl walk, I'll go with Jacob and Lou. I don't want to feel like we're out of here though. If I want to feel like Ralphie the Buffalo. I don't have to go with Jacob. You don't have to be taught, man. Have a conversation with a friend while you're talking and then you're going to realize that you are yelling into the air. Jay, that that that that's not for talking. Walking is for using your breath.

Not your pace because I'd be talking like this. He goes, hey, you want to get some food after this? And then we go, you see the thing in about the, and I go, oh, I've got time to shoot. I need to do the time. Should you do the one with over the other? Or do you do the two with your avenues kissing? I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not I do on the street, I try to exercise, make it an exercise. So you then why you monkey borrow long scaffolds from your train stuff to the building.

That's why Jacob, Jacob plays the sidewalk as a lava to serious, it'd be parkour. Is it? Can I get there without touching a lava? Dan, I just want to say I think you're walking is great inside New York City. But when you walk at New York speeds outside of New York people look at you looking nuts. Dude, that's honestly where it is. Man, I'm just starting to realize how much I relate to Wiley Coyote. It's a sad, that's a sad day in a man's life when he realizes that he's more a wily coyote than a road runner. I'm like road runner, but I think like wily coyote. I do. I want your whole ass in front of me and people that are

our first time walkers with you with their fuses up to go. So I was chasing that damn road front. I wish. Someone needs to put a rope on my backpack. You know, this I got my backpack right here, but you know this. You know, you you know this, see this, this loop right here at the top of my backpack, you know what people need to do, they need to put on like a ranch glove and grab it under, like fucking, like a rodeo, and then you guys, then you guys release me out of my cage, you're like, he's fucking, he's fucking, he's got fucking. Oh man. He's moved. He's he's you guys. Someone has a tire rubber band around my nuts before I leave. So I started to kick him. Yeah. I'm so fucking. DJ Lou, you're a quick walker. Are you really for real? Yeah. Yeah. I do the same

thing. And my girl says, uh, I guess you sleep on steps every three blocks. I mean, yeah, not in the greatest shape, but I need to get there. And even when I'm in Jersey, I walk at New York pace. I do the same thing. So when you take a walk with your chick, you're ahead of her. Yes. Eventually, I have to walk at my normal pace. And I'll just turn around and smile and wave

and be like, all right, I'll see you when we get there. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's a crazy thing to do to turn around and wave. What's the line goes, go, still up here. Still up here. I get it. Goddamn it, Louis.

I never, I never, I never slow. Louis've never bonded more. I understand that completely right now. You guys, I got to get dressed up. You're a cheque. That's years of solitude and not being like with people where you just want to do your own thing more than like be courteous to me.

But I'm noticing, I'm noticing with, I'm noticing I'm kind of fucking up our dog with Katie because when I take a mortal out for a walks, she can basically just go and I'm walking. You know, and if she goes a little fast, I make her sit and we stop and she walk in a pace, but then Katie will walk her and be like, dude, we're gonna want to stop running. And I'm like, nah, she's fucking handles fine with me, but I'm out there going, I'm going 60 in the 30. I can power walking always. Yeah.

Looking to check back to see it gives thumbs up to the first deal walking with. Fucking great. Well, then fucking speed up. That's crazy. That is so crazy. Well then fucking speed up. That's crazy. That is so crazy. That's so funny. I look back and smile and wave. Everyone's in the rug. I'll see you at daddy's. Dan doesn't even look back. He just like let me just try to cross the street. He keeps going head down. Get there. Get there and then make sure everyone else gets there. He's like, all right. You're ready to walk the restaurant. I love you. I'll see you in a bit.

Good. If you guys, I'm sorry you guys don't appreciate me being point man. You know what's funny? I do see you walking toward what you come. If I get there before you ever and I see you coming from the train station walk. Yeah.

And the moments before I see you, I go, that guy is like looking for an enemy. He's looking for one of his enemies. And you turn, you go, you go, you go, you go, and then you turn, oh, think about this, Dan. And I don't think you overthink this. It probably gets asked by you a lot. The first question I ask you almost every day is like,

you good? If I see you inside, you're, yeah, a great day. You might have had a bad day, but so you're like, yeah, I had a great day. I'm like, okay, you're walking over, I got a mission. You're like, when I find them, I'm going to kill them. I got a jail. I got a jail. I have resting taking face. Hey, it's DJ Lou. And on Tuesday's's show the guys all got together in one room for a very special show and an Upgrade in audio quality Quarantine third mic Joe D'Arosa joins the group at J's house and J leads this clip off with a question about food

Man, what's the worst food like your significant other can be into a hard-boiled eggs would be a bad one Ever had though has had an like, they would refer to themselves as a soup person. Soup? Yeah, every girlfriend I've ever had as a thing where it's like, what's your favorite food soup? What? That's a weird carla.

My ex girlfriend Nicole was all about soup. She loves soup, yeah. I love hard boiled eggs. No, genuinely. I mean, I love them. Love them. You love them? you love soup. Yeah, I love hard boiled eggs. No, genuinely, I mean, I don't love love them. Love them. Love love them. Cool. Hey, how many of you? How many of you eat in a week? Uh, I mean, be real before the before the team before the fucking vid. Or the team. This is hard boiled egg time. Good. I got all day.

Listen, man, I had a side a system in place. And I was eating I was eating six hard boiled eggs a week. You're me the team through all your system team Through all the whole system You were eating six you've only assisted a hard boiled egg system Six hard boiled eggs a week. Yeah, wild. That's crazy. You know what? I was doing eight. I was up to eight You were the God that at one time. It's so thick. I'm so thick in your mouth.

Oh, look at that. I'm not kidding. If I dated a woman who had, like macaroni, love macaroni salad. Oh, yeah. I hate macaroni salad. I hate macaroni salad. I like salads. But if I dated a chick who was real into salads, I don't mean like let us out to be like man-AZ fishy like I'd be like oh

Yeah, who is this? Yeah, it's me out dude. Who is this snow queen? Love a blizzard of mayo with some mac with some cooked fucking doodles in it. I saw dude in a bagel deli once That made bagel sandwiches get fucking Steve food salad on a cinnamon raisin. Fuck you, dude. That's a man that can watch death easily. That's crazy. 10 a.m.

But he was baked out of his fucking tree. And by the way, I bet if you're a woman and he gets on top of you, get ready to get Jack Hammer through the day. That man, that's fuck fuel to get Jack Hammer, prove the damn. Oh. Oh, man, that's fuck fuel for that man at eight in the morning. I used to have a friend that was pretty in the Sardines. Weird, that one's weird. So rough one. Would he eat him one by one, or would he do burbs style

and put him on a cracker? He would do, he'd do one worse than that. He would just fucking get a fork and eat it out of the can. So he just ripping apart little tiny fish. I've than that. He would just fucking get a fork and eat it out of the can. So he just ripping apart little tiny fish. I've done that. I've done that because it's good for you to eat a can of those a day. I've had phases where I would.

What kind of old Italian grandpa's would bite me? That's what these textures like. Grandfather. You must have eaten the saddensa every morning. I've had them in my life. I was one of my stepfathers phased the foods. One of those sardines every morning. I've had them in my life. I was one of my stepfathers phased the foods. One of those sardines and mustard sauce. It was so kind of crazy.

It smelled so bad. Would you open it up? And that just, I also think when I was younger, I didn't realize they have heads on them. Yeah, you should only be eating sardines consistently if you live at a lighthouse or a wood shack. Well, you should do it if you have to lick yourself clean if you're a cat is is there a fuc-

Sorry, I'll give you a very lucky cat. You should have started eating them, everyone. Even the cats from the film cats shouldn't eat those. Yes. Only sailors and willem to foes. Yeah, I think when someone, when I see, when I see Brandzino on the menu for a place, I also think I won't like any of their food.

Why? Because they're willing to put on your plate, just fucking friccid fish that looks at you. I love that though. Brands Eno? I've never had it because I'm allergic to a lot of fresh, like, non-shellfish, so I've never even tried it. Wait, do you have a non-shellfish allergy? Yeah, it's weird, right?

It's weird, it sucks. Fuck what? I don't know, it's weird. You have, like, you see, can you have salmon? I can have some. I know the ones I can have. It was endless shrimp all day long. A piece of flounder, my fucking throat closes up.

Dude, I'll suck clean a lobster. You put some cod on my plate? Yeah, better get that up, you better get it. There he goes, I'll eat a living crab. Yeah, I can have salmon. I know the ones I can have, but ones I've never tried, I don't dice roll anymore anymore because I've gotten like I've had like allergic reactions. It's terrible

Brandzino's one and I was up brands you know look so classy on a table like it looks it looks so awesome to me like that big I love it dude. No it's a small fish like a personal individual fish They do big ones too where they put it in the middle and everybody takes pieces from it and stuff two where they put it in the middle and everybody takes pieces from it and stuff. It's like a fucking hit. You're like, ah! It's like a horror movie. It's like a horror movie when they're like eating a person while they're like tacked down to a table.

Yeah, the in a Hannibal where he, or Hannibal when he pulls the thing in the brain's experience. Yes. Exactly how it feels. No dude, that looks like you should be a Viking God. Yeah. Like, or is it? Yeah, that's a set.

It explodes into that. I think it looks awesome. No dude, because that's to set design for a Bible movie We get some more chickens with their fish with the eyes in it could you not eat a whole lobster in front of you? Would you be freaked out by that some people are freaked out by that because they say it looks like a spider or where they Squirtle I will say they're fucking eyes looking at the head of the lobster Yeah, I don't really care for a whole lobster But if you took the meat out of it like I could eat it in front of it

I don't have a problem like emotionally doing it, but like seeing it's pretty gross Yeah, I was a kid. Yeah, I should Black eyes, but when they're crawling around when I was a kid I remember they we had like lobster on this vacation. They like boiled lobster and It was screaming. I thought it was screaming and it then someone's like it's the air releasing from them Yeah, and then the shell, but I thought they're like So now it's fun whenever I've been around boiling lobster to see yell it on so wait, they're not screaming I've heard both I've heard that they are a tea kettle. I've heard they feel everything that happens to him

and they can't believe you, they're friends who just, who's kept them, who pointed at them. They thought they were chosen for life. He goes, I wanna owe that cute guy there. He's like, oh, jeepers. Oh, I got, wait, the meat, come home to your family. They're always Sebastian. I'm gonna see.

I said you're good. Oh my God. I can't believe you're picking me screaming when cooked Lobsters don't have vocal cords and even if in agony they cannot vocalize the high pitch sound made by overheating lobster It's caused by expanding air rushing out of small holes. Yeah, that's what I like a whistle being blown No, dad, it hurts so much man It hurts so much man Give me a thought that was your new body Yeah, be a real

Trust me Indus you should that's why whenever you're going lobster is just always act like you're interrogating him Just go where is the river? Where is the files? I don't like yeah, I don't like picking them out live, man. It makes me feel bad Why not you don't condemn them to death I man it makes me feel bad. Why not? You don't condemn them to death. I just feel like you put the bag of your hands.

Yeah. I choose him. I always pick the ugly ones. Makes me feel really good. I have one guy's got one of those, he's missing one of those weird little legs. I go, is there, is there anyone that seems over sexual?

I want to punish them. To their temptation. Yeah. You go, who's the sl, who's the slutter of the pack of them? Yeah. I want to lose parent off with other lobsters. We are. Is any of these fucks pregnant crap? Crabbs can't feel it though. Do you know that? Crabbs can't feel what? Crabbs and water and you bring it to a boil with the crabs and they can't feel it.

Like they don't even try to escape because they can't tell that the water's getting hotter. So they's getting hotter So they're gonna die eventually. No, they don't know anything. They do die. Yeah, there's die So they're doing that thing where they're like talking to someone like the wave is going over and they're like So anyways, that's why I said it. You see the shadow Oh God, yeah, they're doing that anyway moved to your 10 years ago great place great wish for the Conviction Joe that I just believe you but I don't know how it's gonna be proven that that they don't feel it Just very tough animals they just stare you while you're bored Don't see you break I know it's for a fact it's true because a man in a bar told me Guys guys guys calm down you know crabs don't feel it right

The boiling water just accept death and they die he goes okay for sure he goes It's got Gus at that. He was playing photo hunt half an hour. He was playing photo hunt the dirty kind publicly, which is what he was doing. It's getting a monster's head all over the place. That little clansers, kids got this. He was popping a rod at the dirty photo. See what you knew what he was talking about.

I don't know, he kept fucking, kept side pulling on his piece. He bought me an Apple Teenie, he's a nice guy. We get some Jack Daniel mudslides. You see, I know I'm getting caught up on crap for you. Jack Daniel mudslides, that sounds so gross for some reason. Dude, the crap is the thought of them going, yeah, you set up a bitch you want to watch me break. He goes, it hurts.

He goes, don gonna let him see her You guys you can be so delicious when I put you that drop by you Just slowly go to sleep slowly just off sleep. I know I know dramatic lobs your bitch I got a fucking scream for my life Is there any last words Mr. Krab? I'm just, Friddle! I'm just fucking keep you shit together. Is there any last words Mr. Krab? Friddle! Friddle! Hey, it's Black Lou again.

Cheating on your partner is bad enough. But Big J thinks it's how you get caught that truly determines whether you can be forgiven. But there's also a big gap, I think, between like telling your partner, it's like, hey, look, I've done some gay things. I think between like telling your partners, like, hey, look, I've done some gay things. I think I might be gay or bisexual or something versus,

I don't know, and it's just me stone for sure. But the picture of Christine opening a door and happening upon me just getting wailed on in the ass and having to see my head bump up from my belly. Like, ugh, ugh, ugh. I'm saying the find out,, if I, if I, if I came to Christine, I could see your processing like, oh, I'm feeling like, like, like, I made, then I've done some gay things behind your back.

And maybe I'm gay is probably much easier to drink in than coming into a room and just seeing your boyfriend just get all the way all done dude. I mean like treat it like a woman like ass slap tingles. Oh, he's looking up and see he goes, oh, look at that. But that first acknowledgement, Jay, where you're like, you're getting your hair pulled. And you're like, is that what that is? Is it going to be a dog going to eat that?

You know, oh, he's doing, you're doing a lot of things of looking back and talking to you. He god. It's really in there. That's really a scene During the first scene this is Paul Christine this is you need to get hey can you give us the room for a second so I can get clean up I got a clean up a little bit room for a second so I can clean up a little bit. You get a drink. Why don't you go fix yourself a drink and I'll be out like five. You're gonna get me there.

You're gonna get me there. Oh, hey, hey. What kind of high would you give? You got to buy. And by the way, when she closes the door, all you hear is like the gay talking behind the door. I'm just like, I'm trying to get my touch on the screen. I'm also the towel, the towel, I'm off. He could just hit me my boxers. He's

just hit me my fucking boxers, put some pants on. Where's my robe? Great. There's shit on my deck. Dude, as someone that has to go to the bathroom like this now, and someone that has had two parents, both come into the room that you're in after they've had sex with that post sex fucking. You know, like the news, the press conference energy of like a sitting around an NBA locker while they're talking.

Really listed all out there. I've had Gary come out when he was at Jeanette, Jeanette's house. I think her name was Jeanette or Janelle, I forget which one it was. Whatever lady gave him the fucking hip-sea. When he came out to the kitchen where I was sleeping on her couch and he was like, so when you watch it, it was that interview. Yeah. What are you going on with?

He goes, is that AC cool enough for you? I can make it cooler. And then my mom coming downstairs in her robe, doing that, literally checking the heat and being like, oh, you're still up! And you're like, ah, hey! Oh, the robe. Oh, coming down the grab anything in a robe usually feels like, because then you went to bed

when you knew you weren't going to sleep. You're coming back down for something. You said good night. Dude, I was gonna start singing instead of girls on film. Moms and robes. Moms in robes. Moms in. Dude, the worst one was my mom used to sleep in a big t-shirt. Was your mom ever do that? Like down to her knees? Yeah, I think sometimes.

Dude, what a scarring thing. I just remember coming home one night. She was past that on the couch. I was like, oh god, I think that's a plus. I didn't directly I think I saw my mom's plus a decent amount growing up and then you got to catch it I had the blanket to put the blanket over her and you're like it's like trying to catch a fucking rodent Pass on just don't fuck out Crazy That's crazy and then dude what's funny, because it was just me and my mom, the next morning when I wake up her breakfast,

and she'd be like, thanks for putting a plank in on me. And you're like, hey! Yeah, yeah, a couple of two weeks. Hey, give it for me. I did it for my friends that came over last night, mom. I did it for Byron, who stared right at your snap. He saw your snooter,

and now he's talking about it at school. And now it's the talk of the bus stop. Crackle Crackle, DJ Lu with you. On Thursday's quarantine lost tapes, the conversation begins with talk of Kanye West being a genius, and ends with a new definition of bipolar. His clip, I don't know who the fuck's a genius. Stevie Wonder, maybe?

I heard it described in a TED talk actually one time by the this going to sound really awful, but it actually explained genius to me in a way it never clicked before. Well, if you're not a genius. One author was talking about it and she said, she goes, I don't say I am a genius. And it's almost like thinking of geniuses like a gift from God or the universe, almost where you can be a genius at violin, you can be a genius at science You can be a genius at music and it's like how you kind of take advantage of that genius you were given and I really like that Explanation what is it it's not like an idle thing. I wouldn't be surprised if Christine thought she was a genius because of parents to her She hears a lot of times in the house like that plate there, genius, your glasses from your head genius.

You're sitting on your jewel genius. Christine goes, I use my genius of forgiveness to show the world my life. That's my genius. You already saw this genius. Yes, you guys. I know. I know.

I know who can tell you I'm a genius. Jay asked him, he says it all the time I'll make a big argument. Why don't you just go talk to my boyfriend? I'm I'm I'm I don't know man. I mean just back to Kanye West in general I just feel like that's so much I mean, you know, obviously chose that life and went after it and he picked Kim Kardashian and her family to marry into but Chemically, he's unbalanced. So like you see these things and you're like, I was telling you guys that story of the girl I dated a long time ago, whose brother was bipolar.

And he just stole his dad's car because he thought something like crocodile people were trying to eat him. And so he just stole his dad's car and then drives through it through the night and then gets teemoned and somewhere in Ohio that is in the hospital for like three weeks and you're like, oh, dude. Yeah, but that guy is having a bipolar episode. You're like, so what's up? Paul was a mental problem. I thought it was you have sex with guys and girls, but only on the complete tip-eat-top and bottom of our access. Oh, you so you thought it was only it was Antarctica dick second?

Yeah, the North and South Pole, whatever gender you want. I thought it was a bipolar man. I was like, when you get rich enough, eventually you could be able to fuck on both the tips of the access. That's the money the Kardashians have. They're a lot of people are that's why when other people are saying you're going to do that's hot. You know, Christmas is hot to my polar shit

I thought it would you fuck guy and girl white bears Dude they're bipolar and you go that's hot Yeah, do you do both you service both To a picture you then sitting between two polar bears. We got your fingers in one. Oh, jack it off another. Dan Soder is bipolar. Dude, the guy, the Coca-Cola bears. There's holding Coca-Cola in a bucket, diddle egg.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, boy, yeah, you're going to lose that. You running out of ice. You can't get up. You running out of ice. The boy bear puts his hand on top of your head. And you go, I'm not ready for that.

I'm not ready. I'm not finishing her off. I'm not finishing her off. I'm not ready for that. Can I do the middle piece? Can I be the answer to say, Oh, which? I'm newly bipolar. I've never made a man.

I have seen somebody having a bipolar episode. I can't think of top my head or somebody who lives life like that has those things right. Witnessed a ton of them. I'm sure it's awful and sucks. And I definitely believe it for sure. But chemical balance in the brain, I've been completely on board with believing that.

However, do you watch O's arc, Dan or not? No. They're showing the bipolar there. It was like, man, if that's what it is at its worst, holy shit's gonna be terrifying to live with. Because if this was the guy, it would be like, hey, I just robbed that store and you're with me, you didn't even know.

And you'd be like, oh my God, dude, why would you do that? And it's like, I don't know. And then like all the cops on himself, like five minutes later, you know what I mean? It's like, that kind of create, you know, like freak out and like beat someone half to death and then be like, I don't want to be for a sandwich.

Yeah. And then if I, you know what I did, what I heard a man, I'm so sorry. I'm tired. It seems like it's like that fucking like wacky Imagine all people wanting to come and get you Dude, that's gonna be so scary to think of that is an actual feasible option I always by the way when she told me that story I stopped her we were out back on our porch smoking the cigarette I remember because yeah, he thought like he thought crocodile people coming to you. I go

We friend you friend. Yeah. I go whoa. What? She was like, yeah, no, he like thought they were real. He lived on Long Island and he was like he thought they were real And they were gonna come out and you're like, yeah, dude, gator people that would I would I would drive through the night You know in horror movies where they always think people are crazy Yeah, then they're right where they're like this old demon they open this chest and this old demon is now an enigator and it stands up Like a person and you're like, oh my god. He's chemically imbalanced come at him and then really they're Person coming for him. I'm getting tired of them in the PG 13 world of horror movies as somebody figures out the supernatural thing That's happening. Yeah, and the other people and the other people are so they're not just like

Like reluctant to hear the information. They're like angry that you think this is even a possibility You know you know our seven our seven friends have just been killed day by day You know, I know it is because it's going off a bed at least and I think you're next like fuck you I'm going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's just fucking surround. But Jay, you're missing out on the, you're right, you're absolutely right, but there's levels of anger.

There's different styles of anger because you're talking about the peer teenage friend that doesn't want to believe him. Then you have to have the dismissive adult anger where he goes, oh, kids are disappearing. That has been proven. Do you have any proof about this? Then get out of my office.

I'm taking that one at a time. And they're like, I'm pulling you. You're the sheriff. You gotta listen to us. And these kids aren't disappearing. They're playing a joke in the woods. All right, maybe wise up. Hey, it's Big J. Overson.

And I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bonfire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 p.m. Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM 95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bonfire at SexM. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.