The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Unsane with Jay Pharoah

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

SNL alum Jay Pharoah gives his impressions of Kevin Hart, Family Guy, and John Wick. He comes up with a few new ones on the spot and Bobby tries to do voices as well. Bob actually acted in a movie with Jay called "Unsane." Jay Pharoah's new stand-up special "Jared" is out now on YouTube. Big Jay brings up the P Diddy allegations and that spurs more hilarious impressions of rappers. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly, what's up everybody we're back This guy's on top of the world Yeah We got we got mace on the podcast today. I was going long big Jay I had to leave came to come here and talk to you Did even strip I had to leave Cam to come here and talk to y'all. Did he been tripping? I wish Maze was here to have so many questions for Maze. I mean, Maze, how much he left and then became immediately religious,

let you know he was trying to get away from something he saw. Yeah, cheeks were almost clapped. Absolutely, everybody's the bonfire. Big J. Okerson, Robert Kelly, sitting in with us everybody. Cheeks were almost collapsed. Absolutely. Everybody's the bonfire. Big J. Okerson, Robert Kelly, sitting in with us, everybody. He's got a new special called Jared, premiering on YouTube September 22nd. It's the hilarious Jay Farrow joining us.

Hello, hello, hello. Just before you came in, we were about to show Bobby. P. Diddy's all the news now with everything. And a few people I know, Kurt Metzger being one of them, and Bobby, full on belief that the Meek Mill and the audio is real, but I'm, I think P. Diddy's, I think he's fucked,

I think this is gonna be a lot of stuff he did. I don't know if he recorded, if he was in a position where he would let himself be recorded. I found out what happened. Or butt fuck that loud with meek mill But that is also people that are comfortable with each other for a long time Yeah, it doesn't sound comfortable Doesn't sound comfortable at all. It sounds very painful sounds very and try comfortable. Yeah It's not dry cuz he had eight thousand bottles of baby oil. Maybe that's maybe after that one

Maybe maybe that's when he started buying you're right keep it in bulk. She came out of that room He's like yo take note. I need 13000 bottles of baby oil. It's like a Costco order of that. That's crazy. I found out that Meek Mills didn't take the video. A girl took the audio and gave it to him to release. No, no. The guy who released the video, whoever that was. The body or some guy with the body. It wasn't him. It was somebody else had it.

Some girl was there, recorded it, gave it to him to release. But why go, hey, you wanna dip off in a room and have secret gay sex, and then go, ow, ow, ow, ow, yeah, you're killing it. Why not? Why not? Dude, if me and you were gay and we were billionaires, you know how many times we would fuck in a secret room?

I'd just sneak off and go. Hey, Louis, we'll be right back. Yeah, hey, please don't record us when you're here in that room. Go, go, go. Actually, go ahead. Rob, this scenario is crazy. This is a wild scenario, bro. So I wanted Bobby to see the-

Oh my God, I love voices. You know I fucking do. Let me tell you something, bro. I love that. I love your voice. How many voices do you do, bro? It's like 235. Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, I got so many. I just forget. I've started to forget ones that I do. I'm like, oh yeah, that's right. I do that motherfucker. What's the most, yeah. Go ahead, go ahead. Who was about to ask me?

What's the most obscure voice you do? The most obscure voice I do. It was John Mulaney at one point, and now I think it's, I think it's, who is this guy? Who is this guy now? Now it's like freaking John Wick or some shit. Why he expects me? Whoa, you want me to kill Maria Santinelli? It can't be done. It's impossible. You either come out and give me your son. Yeah, I'm mad. I like that when he gets mad.

Yeah, I'm mad. I didn't realize that Kevin Hart had like the little snaps, just like just like things about his that was imitatable until you did it. Yeah. And then spawn the spawn the billions of children on a tick-tock that do it now there's so many there's so many of I don't mind it they just you can tell what somebody has watched me do it or they when they're just watching the person do oh well that's the that's

the that's the classic curse of doing a good impression. Everyone said once Jay Moore did Christopher Walken, everyone else just does Jay Moore doing Christopher Walken. No one's doing Christopher Walken. You don't even know anybody who does a dead-on Christopher Walken because they're so locked into Jay Moore's. I did, when I was in Boston, they were auditioning for a skit show, I don't know what it was,

some new show coming out, and I was doing Christopher Walken. Because Jay did it. And then my friend went in before me and did Christopher Walken before me. And I went in and they were like, oh that kid before you did the same thing. I was like, you did my Christopher Walken.

Yeah, you know, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the Oompa Loompas. I'll fuck them and eat them And then we'll have no chocolate You know that was a good impression of the guy that you're talking about I've kind of got all cranky and balls have definitely stretched past my knee It is just a black man talking like walking. And he does the quiet, I like the quiet walking. Yeah, yeah, it's a mouse, it's a mouse in the house.

That's what I love, I love him on Mouse Hunt. Dude, I wanna hear Kevin Hart, what is Kevin Hart? Ah, that's, listen, here's the goddamn problem. I tell you this, I tell you this. The problem is I'm too damn rich. I got too much money. Um, I don't know why. Damn. I don't know why Pete Diddy has so many bottles of lube.

I'm like, why do you need so much lube? Are you that greedy with the ass? You just, there's a 40 foot bed in the back of your house. What do you steal from with the ass? You just, there's a 40 foot bed in the back of your house. What do you see from Blue's Blue's Sweat? He said, what the fuck are you doing, man? Hey, hey, Sweatty Guy, I knew he was weird back in the day. Look, look, when he was, we did the interview with Usher, and he was talking about waking up, eating Frosted Flakes.

I was like, wait a minute, what the fuck did you just say? Somebody just run it back, I wanna hear hear it again Because there's no goddamn way You're gonna get away with talking about clapping She's she did it So good We just did the story earlier that now they're speculating that he's gonna be divorced because Yeah, they're gonna come out with stuff from him at the freak off. Oh, we Kevin Yeah, he was there.

They don't have anything on him doing it, but he was there and all this stuff. Let me tell you something. If I were, I promise you there'd be no footage of me getting my dick sucked publicly or doing a bunch of gay stuff. But if I was ever invited to P-Diddy parties, even after I saw what happened,

you'd see me at all of them, but I'd be like, you know, like in horror movies when they show someone's been there the whole time It would just be me always like this It's like an orgy like LeBron James and everyone getting sucked off by 40 chicks the same time I'm just in the background like drinking a drink Cuz I want to go see all of that But I definitely would have but I wouldn't be worried about my wife

My wife wouldn't even kill you get your dick Sucked by a guy at the party It's always somebody strange whatever Angie Martinez suck your balls. I just bought a new fridge. Well, she sucks your balls I'm not gonna suck your balls. So, you know, you might as well get them sucked over there I hope I hope he juggled him in his mouth. That's what I hope he did. What are the people and again who? I hope he juggled them in his mouth. That's what I hope he did. What are the people and again who What are the white celebrities are gonna get brought down by P Diddy freak off parties because I couldn't see P Diddy being like hey like inviting people that wouldn't make sense. That's in his world It wouldn't be like Giuliani was there getting lap dances from six naked chicks I get like I can see that and he's getting sucked off, and his toupee is sweating and shit.

It's fucking soy sauce running down the side of his face. I can see that. He's ha ha ha, it's all good. You know, his fucking teeth. It's like a dinosaur teeth. His fucking teeth. What's his name from that 70's show? He's getting kind of in.

Kutcher, Kutcher. He was there. Okay, I can see that. That's what it makes sense. But I'm saying like. Oh, he just wanted some there. Okay, I could see that. That's what it makes sense, but I'm saying like... I just wanted some head! You know, I don't know, that sucks. But is that...

But is that... That sounded like Todd Barry. Yeah, well, oh snap, so yeah, there we go. Add it to the repertoire, I got a Todd Barry. But like, everyone's saying Epstein killed himself or was killed, either way, I assume it was... Who was killed? Whether he did it himself...

Just say he was killed. He was killed. I don't even think, I really don't even think he was killed either way I assume it was for Whether he did it himself he was killed. I don't even think I really don't even think he was killed I think I was just relocated. Oh really I think they moved him so that's very possible But I will say for sure that I don't relocate, but I don't know but he was killed or kill himself It was for the same reason that it was like He has to die because or else he's gonna. He knows too much Yeah, I don't know if, like they said, Pete Diddy's on suicide watch, which makes everyone think right away

he's probably gonna get killed in jail or kill himself in jail. But the thing is, who does it release that's that? I'm not saying these important black celebrities would be the Jay-Z's or stuff like that. But it's not like, the problem is like, the Epstein ones, Prince's and fuck it. You know what I mean? Like it's shit, where are they gonna get you killed? Epstein dies, it's not like the problem is like the Epstein ones princes and fuck it I mean like a shit word they're gonna get you killed

Epstein dies it goes away the charges are on him if he goes to court and they get to bring this stuff up as evidence Now we get to watch that shit like Johnny Depp You know Stan they get to bring any they get to call people as witnesses. Yeah, you're gonna get everybody You're gonna little cav. I look at why you have the cave Why are you wearing a propeller butt plug in this video now, let me explain Listen, I can't explain that's I'm telling you. I can tell you everything to happen. First of all First of all, Pete Diddy is a he's a different guy man He's different guy, you know, he's got fetishes different fetishes and you know know sometimes sometimes you can't say no I could apparently the other short one

could but I couldn't you know I was a sacrificial butt lamb but it's all good man so LeBron James if he goes to trial they're gonna have to call him in what in the in if he's in the videos if the picture of him in a French-made outfit is they say it's real if it it's real, why does it exist? Why would he be like, listen, when I was very, very young, and we know that, because you're part of the story, Bobby, I let a girl take a naked picture of me. It was a joking picture that looked terrible.

There's no one that could look good, but I knew it looked terrible, but it was a joke between me and a girl I was seeing, and it was what it was. and then she eventually gave it to uh She put it out and posted it on a gay website Craigslist Craigslist meant for men I meant for men where I was anyways right and I learned at that moment There will never be a picture this compromising of me like out there What were they again? I'm not even saying

dick pics of me don't exist in the world, but there's no picture where you're gonna see like me, like, you know what I mean, like, with like a butt plug up my ass, giving like a thumbs up at a fucking party. That's like strange, that LeBron James, like, what could that possibly do good for you? You see, I'm such a...

That's, I mean, dude, if that's not hanging in his locker room, they're not fucking wait. Wait a minute That's real. I thought y'all were joking when y'all said that I don't know Wow Here's the problem now with AI Ron is a bad bitch. Look at that The fact that they can do like Simone Biles You can I have an app on my phone that will make it look like I'm speaking Spanish I can read something and it will take my eyes and put them forward like I'm not reading. Right, you don't know if it's real or not. And that's the average shit that an asshole like me

can download for nine bucks on an app store. So you don't know it's real anymore, but it's fun assuming shit now. Just assuming that that piece of shit has a made over it and he travels with it. Well, can you go back, Lou? I want Bobby to see the video Now here's what I'll say about this video. Someone sent me the photo of you someone found it. No, yeah

Shut up. I swear to God someone found it. It was I don't know where it was. They found it of on a Craigslist Some type of page they they went back in I guess everything exists and never really destroyed. I'm glad I told that story. Well, no, I have it. So just, you know. Well. Just be nice to me. Well, Jay. Oh, we're gonna have new bonfire shows.

Oh, no, you're gonna be taking this. Look at, Jay. First of all, I'm kidding. I know, I know. I thought you were gonna laugh at it. Dude, you got serious. I was like. My heart just hurt.

You were like, at anything, you know, I go, what? I thought we really took care of that a long time ago. Hey, Rob, at least he's not looking back. At least he's not looking back at it like Meek Mill. You're like editing things, and then I go, what? I thought we really took care of that a long time ago. Hey, Rob, at least he's not looking back. At least he's not looking back at it like Meek Mill. Meek Mill was looking back at it and checking to see how it looked. And that's when Diddy was like, I like, I like, I like this daddy. I like his daddy.

That's what I'm saying, like, what it is. Now, if this was two white dudes talking like this to each other, I said if it was me and you, and this video existed white dudes talking like this, which I said, if it was me and you, and this video existed of me talking like this, people wouldn't think much of it, because white dudes, especially in comedians, will gay joke around very much, talking wise, especially. You know what I mean?

Like, hey sweetheart, blah, blah, blah. This isn't how two hip hop dudes. Nah. That's the trick. Joke. That's the thing. This isn't how they joke. Hip hop is hard. Hip hop is hard. Hip hop is heavy. These guys talk tough, heavy,

and to have this in the community and have this all come out. Particularly these two. That's why like 50 Cent, Ice Cube, Ice Cube right now. I ain't never been in no diddy party. Yeah. Literally said that. Literally said that shit.

I said that shit. You gotta worry about me and Dub C, we ain't never been in no Diddy party. I want him here every day. I fucking love this. I mean like, I can do Mick Millie too, like that's one that I got. You know, like I wasn't even, hold on, I ain't never let Diddy clap my cheeks. Y'all some weird balls.

I ain't never, you little goofy, you dork talking about... He says dork. Your dork is getting spooky. Yeah, it was spooky for the booty cheeks. I didn't even realize this picture, like the freeze frame of this is really going, he's like, Diddy, can you please put the camera down if we're going to do our gay stuff? He's soaking his bottom. He's soaking it. That's a, that's a. That's Epsom salt in there. Nice.

He's like, diddy, just give me 15 minutes of that. I'm swollen, I'm sore. He tries. Look, look at that face. Look, that is a face of somebody who just got wrecked. Absolutely. He looks like he can't. Go play this for Bobby, please. What's up, King Son?

Look at him. Oh, man. You're doing it, man. You deserve it, daddy. Yeah, I know. You're winning at work. I'm proud of you. I love you.

I know you do. Yeah. Yeah, I know you do. Daddy. You're daddy. Buddy. Oh, no. It's funny that even if they didn't do any of this stuff, that how close to gay hip hop Yeah, I know you do. Daddy. Buddy. Oh no.

It's funny that even if they didn't do any of this stuff, how close to gay hip hop talk is. Yo daddy, yo daddy, you doing it son, I know, I'm doing it, look at my butt. It's very close to just gay guys. They talk like that in Harlem though. Like, cause Diddy's from Harlem, and the men in Harlem, they'll do that. They'll call you sweetheart, they'll be the men in Harlem, they'll do that, they'll call you sweetheart, they'll be like gorgeous, beautiful, they'll do that.

Like the rapper Loaded Lux, I don't know if you guys know him, but he's from Harlem, he's totally straight. Totally straight, he don't do no shit. But he'll look at people like, what's up, what's up beautiful, handsome? Nigga, I said what? They'll be like, handsome, I should be ugly to you. He's like, nah, that's how we talk in Harlem.

I said, oh okay, cool, it's a Harlem thing y'all must be the baby boy must be next time. I have a bad day of self-esteem. I'm going to Harlem So beautiful you up here Beautiful you got nice lips. Yeah, I love your jawline gorgeous Me and you me and you and me and you and the gay community of Harlem are beautiful Me and you and it's me and you in the gay community of Harlem are beautiful Couple of fat white boys rolling through Harlem's no daddy dude. I don't know if you know this, but we're in a movie together which one Unsane You're the you you were the cop yeah fuck you. Oh shit I didn't I don't putting it together that shit was fun, man. Buddy, how freaked out, did you, I didn't know.

It was gonna be shot on the iPhone. Buddy, I didn't know, I was Steve in Soderbergh, I was like, oh my God, I get the audition, I booked this cop role, and I'm so freaked out. I'm like, and you went in, you got clothes, you got wardrobe, you got all this stuff, they bring you to the scene. You're looking around.

And then I'm looking around, you go down on a ladder with an iPhone, and he goes, action. And I was like, what? And then we did it. And he says, we got it. And it was over. And he goes, we got it.

And he steps off, and my day was over. Yep. Buddy, I was flipping the fuck up. The whole movie on iPhone? Yeah. The whole movie, not even, it was an iPhone 7. iPhone 7, oh boy. iPhone 7, and on the back of one phone, it boy. iPhone 7, and on the back of one phone it said,

camera one, and on the back of another phone it said, camera two, cause I knew it, cause he was like, get me camera two. And the guy handed him this other iPhone. And they would be moving him, like he'd be on the track and they'd be moving him on the track, like he's just sitting there with his iPhone, like he's got a big camera,

and they'd just be moving him and pushing him. It looked real. It's a full drama, look off, yeah It looked real. It's a full drama. Look off, yeah. It's a drama, right? It's a... It's a... It's a horror...

It's a thriller. Horror thriller, yeah. It made so much money. Yeah, I'm still getting checks from that. Really, just because it cost nothing to make. Buddy, I got a check from that residual. It was like four times the amount they paid me to do it. Yep.

And it came during the pandemic, like right at the beginning of that pandemic, I got a check from UnSaint. And it was like, I was like, thank you, Jesus. Like I couldn't believe how much money. When you do those, they cost nothing to make. He did that shit at some of Saint asylum somewhere, right? Some hospital.

It was like Northern, it was up in Northern New York. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was fun though. It was, everybody was fun. I got that role because, because Matt Damon showed him my impression of Denzel. And he was like, I see through the impression that he can be dramatic. And he cast me, that's why he cast me.

He told me that. Me and Matt Damon were watching your Denzel impression. And that's why I put you in this movie. I was like, word, I never thought that would happen. I was looking for some YouTube money. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he never talked to me. Have you said Jay?

No, I think my connection was Tom Papa. Okay, okay. So when I did the audition and then he was kind of like whatever, but I think it was some type of connection. I didn't have any, you know. Tom wasn't in the movie, was he? No, he did the Liberace thing though.

With Matt. But no, that was a, I mean how great was it, no set up, no bullshit. This guy would just, action, shoot it once, maybe twice, and then you go home, man. Yeah, I was gonna ask you, you know, I know you keep your family. There I am, that's Fat Bob too.

Holy shit. Yeah, dude, you've come down a lot, man. Yeah, I've come, I remember putting on that outfit how many different cop shirts they, when the wardrobe person thinks they can eyeball how fat you are and they're off. When you're a fat guy playing a cop, suck shit, I've had to do it a couple times

and that belt, that heavy ass belt that my fat body pushes down and my flat ass doesn't hold up, what a nightmare. I hurt the prop guy with my cop belt. Did the belt like pow? When they had, I was gaining weight, we were doing that show, a TV show, The 2-2, with my cop belt. Did it pop off, did the belt like pow? When they had, I was gaining weight, we were doing that show, a TV show, The 2 2, so we were doing like 20 episodes.

So by the fifth episode, I was so happy I had a gig and I was making money, I just started getting fatter. So every week I would come in and the belt would be a little tighter. And he had it, he was putting the belt up and he popped his back. And he went ow, ow! And he literally putting the belt up and he popped his back. And he went, ow, ow! And he literally rolled away. And from then on, they had two young prop guys had to put my belt on for me.

You had belt men? That's crazy. I had that. I had two young dudes, one grabbed one side, the other grabbed the other, and they went, one, two, three, go. And I went I Tried to help you had Paul bearers. That's crazy sucking big

You look but you look great man, that's a good man. Yeah, I forget how fat I was IMDB thumbnail photos gotta be updated Bobby. What is it? IMDB thumbnail photos. Gotta be updated, Bobby. What is it? It's not the Hall H. Fat Bobby screaming. It's not Hall H, is it? Go to Unsane and look at your thumbnail photo. It's terrible.

Oh, man. Oh, Jesus. Oh, wow. Oh, that's during Sexy Dragon. You look like Butterbean, bro. Remember the boxes? It's a mean person. The worst photo ever taken of me,

you know Hall H at Comic Con? Yeah. It's like the motherfucking place to go. Hall H is where they unveil Marvel and we did that with sex, drugs, and rock and roll. We got to go, and for me, nobody else knew what it was. I was like, Hall H, this is crazy. And somebody snapped a photo.

It's the worst photo ever taken of me. It's from underneath, and I was probably one of my biggest. And you could see, I look like an elephant seal. Like, there's levels of my neck. Did they at least get your dick? Like when they shot it from the bottom? Nah, dude, it's just all head, and I'm like, ugh. I'm in the middle of a word going,

it's just typing Robert Kelly, fat, and it comes up, you'll know. I think there's somebody who just purposely puts up bad pictures for IMDB for people that they don't fuck with in the industry. I think so. Yeah, there it is, to the right, second one to the right, right there,

look at that, all right, that's it, yeah, that's it. Damn, dude, what a shadow. I mean, dude, look at. Look at that. All right, that's it, yeah, that's it. Damn, dude, what a shadow. I mean, dude, look at how many things are on my neck, how many levels. Yo, I thought that was Fat Joe for a second. You know what I mean? You grew a wispy mustache.

You don't look like Fat Joe. Fat Joe would be mad at you if you said that. What you mean I look like him? You do. Look at this picture. You don't look alike. I don't even do that impression, but I add it to the list. There's another one. I wanted like him? You do. Look at this picture. You don't look alike. I don't even do that impression, but add it to the list.

There's another one. I wanted to ask you, Jake. I know you keep your family pretty close to you. Absolutely. And have that helped you? What's the craziest thing? You've been famous now for quite some time. And has there been things you've been turned down going to

or gone to to see, almost like I said, like, well, you got to see what this is all about, this weird Hollywood Hills party or something. Yeah, they protected me. I just, I don't know, well, did he? You know, I didn't go, I didn't go to his party. Were you invited?

I got invited. You didn't get invited before, oh really? I got invited, I ain't no. It's gonna be hard to not go to, though. No, not for me. I had encountered this man already. I met him in 2010, and I don't wanna bring it back. I hate to bring it back there, but I met him in 2010,

and at the time, we were looking for lawyers, you know what I'm saying, for representation, whatever. And his lawyer had apparently met with my sister, but she said, we're still gonna weigh our options, and he called up P. Diddy, and he was like, yo, I'm trying to get Jay Farrell, can you help me out? I know you're gonna be weigh our options. And he called up P Diddy and he was like, yo, I'm trying to get Jay Pharrell, can you help me out? I know you're gonna be there this week. And so P Diddy sees me at SNL, hey, you're my man.

You're my man, can you, yo, let me talk to you for a minute. I'm like, okay, it's P Diddy, I'll talk to you. I obey my elders, I'm from the South. I walk to it. You know what I'm saying? He didn't have a nickname for me. Not yet a nickname. So he goes, so then he goes, he was like,

yo, now come in the dressing room. And I was like, okay, I'm still obeying my elders. Then he says, you're coming to bathroom. And I was, what the bathroom? So what I did was I took both my ass cheeks and I put them on the wall so he couldn't have access to them. And then his lawyer popped out the back and then they raped me, but it's okay.

I'm playing, I'm playing, it didn't happen. Yeah, but I said no, because I found out the situation and then Pete Diddy is he didn't like that so every time he sees me now he just he has his like ill smirk on his face I don't even I just walk past them and I don't have to worry about that anymore no no you won and his lawyer lost he did he he's got hella he he got hella problems now. It's one fact, fun fact for me is P Diddy was my manager for three years once.

Get outta here. Yeah, that's why Jay dyes his hair red. From the trauma. He made me, yeah, I can't stop, won't stop him. No, when I, so anybody who did, I think someone ended up suing over this anybody who did P Diddy's bad boys a comedy on a HBO some years back, which I did they didn't get paid So you didn't get paid you got paid whatever it was

But the contracts for that because of how they booked it and you know you you were in the black circuit like before to me Too it's like man. No one understood business. Very few people did, so even the guys you respected, you were seeing in this green room, and they were just coming around being like, here's the contract for the show. I mean, the day of taping, and you're just like, this motherfucker's dressed like, and you're writing your name on and date it

and give it back to them, and that contract said that if you got anything substantial in your career for the next three years following this taping. You would have to give him 85%. It was 10, but it was like a managerial, 15 I think, a managerial percentage of your stuff. So it's like, he's not gonna do anything to help you find anything.

But if something comes your way, it's basically to assume that that happened because of this exposure. Thank God Jay didn't do anything that was clear for 20 this exposure. I think Jay didn't do anything. I'm clear for 20 more years I didn't know what the limitations were on that. I go. Maybe it's the three years starts every three years I don't know if we re up Years before I break some rules in this business But that was I mean SNL was your first kind of like big big thing like that's gonna be an overwhelming

Contract situations and having people look that over. Overwhelming, shit. You're getting $5,000 an episode your first year. That ain't too much. No, no, no, but I'm saying the amount of paper, you're so beholden to so much stuff and codes of conduct. Do you get any, I know that people think,

SNL people, I always thought, that you guys got paid so much money. Then I found out what you guys get paid. I was like, really? But is there anything else other than you're gonna do stuff, you're gonna get stuff from it? Is that the incentive that you are gonna be famous and you'll get other things?

Listen, to my boss's credit, I mean, he is, right? Once you get on the show, you can't eat for the rest of your life. So, I mean, it kinda makes a little bit of sense that it's low and then it gets higher. It just gets higher every year, but it makes sense, dude. I haven't been broke since 2010. Yeah, I haven't, you know, I've had money.

I've been in first class since 2010. I've tell these fuckers. I'm not a I'm not I'm not in coach. I use what I used to do though what I used to do Before I could I can't write coach no more motherfuckers be like who you need to go back on SNL, you know I was I was in three Sunday Three is Delta Plus There's extra leg room. Yes. You have to wait behind 75 old people

to put their bags up. That's fine, but I got my sun chips before everybody else. Okay. But it's, but dude, I remember I used to take the budget. You know, you go to clubs, headline, and get you a travel budget. But to save money, I would just hit coach, and then I would take the travel budget and stack it.

Because I was trying to stack my way out of Harlem. That's what I do. I'm trying to get out of Harlem. That's why I fly zone three. I'm stacking that. You're trying to get into Harlem, beautiful? I'm stacking it. Come on, gorgeous.

Don't talk like that. I'm coming home. Hey, sexy. Don't be like that sexy. Hey, I know that when you audition for SNL, you have to SNL, you have to do impressions, which are amazing, but you also have to do, I think,

two or three original characters. What were the original ones? My original ones were Barnabas Dunkley, he was like a 37-year-old black Jewish kid that lived at home with his mom, and he sold 1990s Microsoft software. And then he was like, I want to sell this. It was like Mort Goldman from family guy.

That sounds like Voss. It does sound like Rick Voss. It's crazy. And then I did Chalk Obama. That's Barack Obama's subconscious. This was before this is before Keon Peel did the anger translator sketch. And I thought that was, I said yo, if we get this on, we gonna get it in me, and it didn't get on,

and they got it. I was like okay, cool. And similar premise, like what's going on inside of him. Yeah, it's just like all this shit he wants to say, man, it's subconscious, cause you know he was sitting there. You know the black man was, the good thing he was mixed, the white man held him back. The black man was, ah, fuck these niggas up. The white man was like, oh, nah, nah, nah, Obama. You know, the black man was, the good thing he was mixed, the white man held him back. The black man was, ah, fuck these niggas up.

The white man was like, oh, nah, nah, nah, Obama. You know, chill. So it was, yeah, those are my two originals. Then I did six impressions. And you're doing Now I See, which is awesome. Like you're working on Family Guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Like the regularity now, which is so, man.

It seems so fun being a, I really am a sucker, Bobby knows too, and actually everybody who listens knows, I'm such a sucker for just the Seth MacFarlane cartoons, man. I love all the, American Dad's my favorite of all time, family guy, Washington religiously. I mean, he's a genius. Absolutely. I mean, it's crazy how smart he is

to create something like that. What's insane is- People say they stand up, like sitcoms, like the way they used to be, all in the family, they do it, but they just do it in cartoons. Those cartoons are as edgy as any of those. Oh my God, yeah. And it's like nobody's thinking about it

because they're cartoons. Cartoons, that's the genius. There's no, what do you call it, there's no stakes. Well, there's also just no stakes on it because none of it's real. People get beat to shit or die in one episode, they're just back the next episode, it doesn't matter. So like Kenny from South Korea.

How was it working with him? Do you like have to do? Oh I love, no I mean, now we're not in a booth together when I'm recording. How great is that, dude? You just go in and record. Just go record and just leave, but it baffles me all the time

because I grew up impersonating all of the characters. And then to get on the show was crazy. To have be like yo come get on you know right all I was like yo this shit is crazy so I used to impersonate Stewie all the time I'd walk around and try to invite people to my sexy parties my sexy parties and I'd do Joe Swanson beater beater beater beater beater I can't use my legs, which means I probably can't use my wiener either. All those other actors are afraid to get sick around you? Oh man, they'll be like,

oh, they fucking popping vitamin C's and shit. My favorite Joe Swanson, you know the characters, he's the one in the wheelchair boat. He goes, a bull, they took over the bar and they got a, Peter goes, you know what's better than a mechanical bull, a real bull, and he brings him to the bar and the bull goes over and head butts the jukebox

and starts playing life is a highway. And then Joe just goes behind the bull and he goes, you know, I don't mean to brag, but I actually sucked my first jug to this song. And the bull just boots him against the wall with his limp legs. Does he hit the wall and then slides down? Yeah, yeah, yeah, his legs are just gummy.

I think Voice Over Work is probably the best gig. Yeah. It's fun to see it, isn't it, when it comes out and you realize you did it and just the work that goes and the syncing that. It's the easy, because you get to go into a sound room, you got your water, you're hanging out, you're reading the lines, you get to be,

and then you go home. There's no, it's just you, you do your thing and you walk away, it's so easy, and then you get to see the finished product, and you get that stuff, like animation movies, stuff like that, you get one of those. Yeah, I've- You're set for life. I mean, I was in Sing, so in sing so I'm still good. What did you do in sing? I was the great

I was Tory Kelly's grandfather. I was the elephant the elephant. That was me. No, you would never even know that Wow Come on, Mina. Don't you want this? It was just me doing my grandfather's voice that that one invincible. I'm in invincible now. That's like, you know, Amazon Prime Yeah, it's like the boys sort of like cartoon and you can get the fact that you can get an Emmy from just that work And then like Sterling K Brown got nominated for Emmy off that show and I mean that's the goal and I forgot to tell y'all I'm on The Simpsons to no shit. I Dredrick Tatum on The Simpsons. Damn. Yeah. I gotta start working on my voices.

You got to, hey. This is my original. What I auditioned for. Also, I mean, what better place to roll out your, like, of the career moving forward than doing it on SNL and then like, obviously, exactly, you're gonna get picked up for so much goddamn, I'm sorry, Bobby, I cut you off.

You did, but it's okay. It was probably the comedy gods saving all of us from me doing my impression of Helga Sockwater My original character. No, please. I want to have apologies, please That I when I was when I moved to New York I knew I was gonna get asked to audition for SNL. So I worked on my original characters I was gonna do Christopher Walken. Of course Joe Pesci. What the fuck kind of people are they? And then. Yo, that's fuckin' spot on.

Great Joe Pesci. And then, what the fuck is fuckin' guy? Fuck it, what the fuck, you bring this kid in the fuck? Oh yeah. Ah, ah. I, uh. I, uh. And then I was gonna do Jay Moore doing Christopher Walken.

It's crazy. But then I was gonna do Helga Stockwater as my original. And? Jay, listen to me. My name's Helga Sarkwater from Chelsea, Massachusetts. And I'm telling you right now. Oh, I'm smashing. My favorite thing is kafelta fish.

I don't know if you had it. It's the cousin of the mullet fish. Have you had the kafelta? The mullet is the same thing. It's the sister, like the cousin of the kafelta. The mullet's, have you had the kafelta? The mullet is the same thing, it's the sister, like the cousins of the kafelta. The mullet's a little more drier. I'm telling you, you have that, my freaking, my feet go numb, they go, I get swollen ankles

every time I have the mullet. I don't wanna mess with you on your psychology, I know you go to therapy every week, and I want you to go, and I want you to think about this, but don't let this ruin your Skangfest this week. That's the exact voice you do when you talk about your wife. Well, I knew that I was never gonna get that audition. So now Helga is Dawn.

It's a variation of Dawn. Understood. It's a variation of Dawn. Understood. Dawn's from, it's a little more classier. Dawn is, you know, Bobby, you know, Helga's a little more classier dawn is you know, Bobby, you know How does a little more older and she eats mullet fish? What do you get you fucking cast your net like a five gallon bucket in the river and then you pull up the mullet and then

You make the confelter. It's it's it's All of my women voices all my women voices just sound like Eddie Murphy doing the uh, mother clump, that's what it sounds like. Oh yes, yes, that's how my shit sounds. I'm just saying, next time you talk to Seth, I mean throw Helga Thokwater in the mix. Absolutely. I mean she be a, you know, I mean, you know,

he's from Rhode Island, a lot of those characters have Boston accents. That's true, I can love it. And I've never seen a Helga Sockwater. I'll do Helga. I'll bring it up. It'd be funny if he did it, and it became a hit, and it became his own thing.

This season on FF, Helga Sockwater's back. I'm just behind the face like this. I want to make sure we push you have a new special Jared premiering on YouTube September 22nd now the last time a Comedian named their special a name it was his coming out being gay party. Is that what we can expect from Jared? Jared is straight the booty chicks aversion I'm trying to get you in the Emmy conversations you're beautiful son you all sexy with crucifix oh I'm not even gonna say yeah that's what did it it was it was the coming out party it wasn't it wasn't the intensive writing it wasn't. It was the fact that he was willing

to slip and slide in the mansion. That's why he got that, okay. What does the name mean? What is it? It's me peeling layers back for myself. Me being comfortable enough to even tell people that my real name is Jared, even though you can IMDb it, or you can Wikipedia, which is bullshit,

because Wikipedia, anybody put shit up there. But I wasn't even, I was never comfortable with myself and this special is me finally being comfortable with myself with everything that I have. Whether it's me talking about getting drug, whether it's me talking about the police thing, whether it's me talking about being bullied when I was a kid, whether it's me talking about

Gen Z phobia, whatever the fuck it is. Like I'm at a point now bullied when I was a kid, whether it's me talking about Gen Z phobia, whatever the fuck it is. Like I'm at a point now where when I get on stage and now the material's different from that, I'm not using the same shit on stage now on tour, I'm switching it up, but even the stuff I'm talking about now, I'm peeling those layers back and just being more, just being more transparent with people.

And I don't feel like- It's tough to come over people, they just think they wanna just yell out names and give impressions. But I feel something, man. Like I did Earthquake's show, I did Earthquake's join in like two months ago, and this was at NJPAC.

And when I tell you I rocked it, I rocked it in a way I had never rocked it before. It was like, yeah, they were laughing, but they felt where I was coming from and I never felt felt before You know what I mean? Yeah, you came I said we both did starting in the black circuit Also, it's not that kind especially when you're starting out. Yeah, it's gotta be fast. It's gotta be big It's got it's like a different kind of performance. It's not so much like Here's my story or here's my opinions about things

It's kind of just like you killed you killed it was about bragging and stuff and then like, you know, I eat pussy so good and I get the biggest it was a lot It was like 90s hip-hop, but you killed you're saying you killed you've killed before but this time the material you're doing You actually was like I'm saying something that I want to say. Yeah, and they're feeling it where you're getting the reaction You're getting applause breaks for you making points. You people if people the reaction, you're getting applause breaks for, you're making points. People are agreeing with you. You're not trying to make them laugh, you're trying to say what you wanna say, and they get it.

Yeah, that's great. What's that quote that Jay-Z said? First I had their ears, now I have their hearts. I had their ears before, now I'm starting to get their hearts. And that's been a goal of mine. Jay-Z was at his party too. Well, you know, allegedly. Maybe get another quote.

For sure. I think him and Kevin Hart were flying 69-ing. Yeah, you might want to get another. That's where Kevin Hart runs at you full speed and then jumps and flips upside down in the air. I'm sure Denzel had a lot of quotes you could use. Or 50 Cent said, get Richard Dyer trying. There you go.

We could definitely use that one. We know he wasn't over there. Man, he can't talk about how much he wasn't there enough. I remember Jared was a... Jared got bullied as a little boy and I used to have him over and I would pat his little afro until he went to sleep in my lap. It's so much. He loved it. It's Helga Salkwater, you fuck. From Chelsea, Massachusetts, you fucking co jack-of-all-trades

Helga sock water likes touching little black babies. Yeah. Yeah for sure I'd love to be a friend. Yeah, I'm Helga sock water and I have to report whenever I move to a new neighborhood Jay Farrow's new special Jared premiering on YouTube September 22nd watch it subscribe to his YouTube page like it leave positive comments man all that shit gets in the algorithm and let's make this thing get up there and we come in that use I'll come back for a minute but we'll say goodbye we'll let Jay go see you man we'll be right back everybody it's the bonfire