The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Victorian Legend (feat. Rich Vos & Mike Finoia)

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

Rich Vos enjoys Victorian art, Bobby apologizes to Stern, and Mike Finoia witnesses a shooting!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. That's super group, the traveling wheelbarris. And I thought it was appropriate. We got a real traveling wheelbarris group in here today, a super group, if you will. It's the bonfire, a faction talk, series XM103.

I'm Big J. Overson. I'm Robert Kelly. And we've got awesome gag in here. Not only do we have our crew, what we what we have our crew Jacob a top great awesome DJ little whiskey. We have black little one. Yes, he's right there. What's that black? Lou? We got black. Lou awesome. We got Christine. Awesome. I think we could all agree as the Roy Orbson of the group Well, let's finish the rest before we

Two amazing guests Bobby. I don't care what you say. Our first, I'd say your best friend, if I just say Bobby's best friend, this is who I would say it is. It's not. I'll tell you it's not. I'm here. I'll tell you it's not. I know.

I know you're going to say. I'm right here and I'll tell you it's not. I know, but you're just being mean to be, you're just giving a little razz and- No, I'm, look at me, look at my eyes, Jay, I love you, I'm being fucking completely honest. He's a living legend, his new half hour special, 30 minutes with guest digital, comes out two more on YouTube, 6 PM they come out, all right?

8 PM, mine is 8 PM. I would say my most taxing friend. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Number one. It's Rich Voss, everybody in the house. Delarius Rich Voss. Thank you for having me. And Bobby is between my second and third. He's in between. Actually, he's in between one and two.

Who's one? Vinnie Brand? No. Well, he used to be Nord. What club owner is number one? Vinnie Brand is a great guest. You used to be Nord. You guys double, you should be, you should be, you guys double day with him and his wife, Vicki.

Yeah, you do the Vicki and Vinny podcasts. Vicki and Vinny hour. Hey, come down to noon, we're right in the club. Live from the tent out front. I know, they made lots of performance from the sidewalk. Oh, dude, he made a funny and share. He made a, he made a, he made a, I'm funny and share, it's great made him he made him before I'm funny and share it's great

Made him perform in the tent. It was unbelievable as people walk through They had to walk through his showroom to get to the other show they were walking through go to see Tommy Davison Uh-huh and the line of people I go through the tent. I go I've never worked the underground and funnily underground It's not even a Wayne's brother It's the unfunny black guy on in living color He's the guy who wife swap a Corey Feldman though. He did he did. Yeah, it was pretty awesome I mean on this show TV show now. It's still pretty great. Well don't forget but now I know I'm amazing special on this show, TV show. No, it was still pretty great. That's what it's about. No, I know. Amazing, special, amazing comic.

One of my best friends in the world, everybody, his new special, don't let me down. It's available right now at 800 pound gorilla, or 800pgm.com. You can pay what you want until November 9th when it's gonna go free on YouTube. It is the hilarious, Mike Fenoy, everybody. I love us, buddy. Mike Fiona. everybody. I love us buddy.

My Fiona, my fiancee. Fiona, every week here. Every year, new hours playing on Bobby's back. He's still giving a, he's still has some good ones from the Fat Bobby days. Yeah, okay, they still have Gorilla. That's why I have a very small Gorilla. Not even number three. Who's before him? He's calling Quinn a hundred percent gorilla. Not even number three.

Who's before him? He's calling. Colin Quinn, 100%. It's Colin number one. Colin, no, you talk to me more. I do, I do not. I talk to Colin every day. No, you don't.

I put them. When he gone vacation recently, he went to Fire Island. He goes every year at Fire Island for like three weeks. His family comes, his family comes up the third week Is not where DJ Lou goes to have gaycation. Yeah, it's totally yeah, he goes up to the Gays out on the beach Gays or Vacation but it's like when the sun goes down. That's when it's okay to be gay if you're married

During the day you have to keep up appearances with your wife We went down when we were kids, my father took us, we didn't know, you know, I guess he had a friend at a house. We went fishing. Oh, you're dead with the car? That's what they called it. No, he went with his wife.

Yeah, sure there is. Yeah, have to bring it. Or I know we went fishing, and caught blowfish. That's all we could catch. Yeah. They know. I'm a fucking legend. Was it me?

That's true. DJ Luz, did that make that sour? DJ Luz grew up girlfriend kept them after dark because when the gays start happening, right? Yeah, we couldn't find the straight part. Oh no. And they looked for like minutes. It was like vampires? No, Lulululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululul you and see if you feel something. Lewis, keep them away from your bum bum. Put garlic in your ass crack.

Why did you bring my body to this place where I'm so desirable? No, you can't get away from me. Man, we got Lou at the wrong time on that one too. He's doing so much better now. Still quit smoking. I'm doing absolutely fantastic, but those few weeks, like, Lou is not, he is not a, a mute, he's not immune to the, to the withdrawals, and Lou gets pretty angry pretty quick. And yeah, how long is it now? Almost two months. No, it's not about your cock.

How long is it now? Now we go to far around. Six inches. No, he's. You got two inches back. Two months is great. Yeah. Are you doing Nrette gum or nico-team patch yeah I live with uh five nico-rets a day that's it yeah Jesus I've been on nico-rette gum for 20 years you know it's funny this is the

the reason right there that me and Bobby didn't say anything why is because they purposely right over our heads shows the word serious xm and you go, oh, they're not going to like that next joke I make I spent all day with five nicoets. I'm like whoa, dude They're called queens Jay have I gotta can I I got something to say real quick. Are you mad? No, I'm not mad, but I just have an apology to make and I would like to. Apology?

Yeah, I wrote a letter. I wrote a formal letter of apology. Oh, wow. To how it started. Last week, I actually made some accusations and I brought up a bunch of stuff. And I, you know, and I jumped the gun. And I didn't hear all the audio.

And I wrote a letter and I didn't hear all the audio and I Wrote a letter and I'd like to read it on air if you don't mind. Well, what did you accuse him of? Yeah, like for full context for everybody. Well, you know, we're good at context here. We're better That's what we do but last week if you guys one of us falls the other one picks the other one That's what we do if you're just tuning in if you just turned on the serious XM app and went to Faction Talk, I'm like, who are these guys? Well, we're Big J. Big J and Bobby. And we're here. And last week, Howard Stern actually mentioned something about a congresswoman that was getting her tits fondled and drinking her guy off and said she was a disgrace to the country. And I was kind of bummed out because Howard was the guy

that I love that did edgy stuff and had girls sit on things and did crazy edgy funny comedy. And now I felt like he was being some politically correct guy and none of that. And I didn't hear the beginning of the actual audio. I just went on when I heard what the news put out well well well and yep and you know what he actually did mention her titties and how awesome they were and how greater how fun she would be and what a disgrace to congress she's a disgrace

to congress but you be fun at a party is basically and she had really nice jugs which made me happy that he still got it still got it so I wrote a letter and of apology because you know what? I'm not too, I say apologize. I say, you know, people say you're weak if you're apologized, don't apologize. No, never apologize. I say be weak apologize. Yeah.

Be weak apologies and I wrote this letter if I could read it, that'd be great. Let go, let go. Probably it's about to say something. Oh wait, hang on Bobby, yeah, I forgot, yeah, I have to do this now because, well, you know, you have your posts throughout there that I take very literally, and I know when people go to your shows, they need to one, bring a sense of humor. Okay.

And two, parental advisory, or parental discretion is advised for your show, which means you better have an adult. No, it's going on. Look how disgusted we said. Before you get crazy. Look how disgusted Ridge Vases that I had opposed to parental discretion advised. Oh, and Ridge.

You put that out on it. For real? That's all you, you put that for, can I tell you what we did this weekend? What? Before you make your apology and we, and we let you go for real. That's all you put up for you. Can I tell you what we did this weekend? What? Before you make your apology and we, and we let you go for it. Well, this is where I came with this. Bobby called me on a Friday and when I answered the phone, I was like, oh, Bobby, wait a

second. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, don't hang up. Don't hang up at all, but just hold on a second. And I called my mom on three way and she answered and I switched back over and I go, mom just want you know I'm getting ready to have a conversation with Robert Kelly and you know I recently learned from his post through that parental advisory, you know, parental discretion is advised so I just want to give you know and she's like, okay, all right fine, then click on go over to her, okay Bobby go ahead what we're gonna say? So before we go any further and Bobby just takes over the microphone here with

this apology. I don't know what he's going to say so blue if you would mind. Robert Kelly is about to say something for rental discretion is advised. Three, two, one. Dear Mr. Howard Stern, I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing off of my sincere apologies for jumping to the conclusion and making judgment without fully understanding Howard Stern. I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing it off of my sincere apologies for jumping to the conclusion and making judgment without fully understanding the whole story. I deeply regret doubting your character and believing that you had a change into someone that you're not. In the past, I had formed opinions based on incomplete information and secondary sources without taking time to listen to your side of the story.

It was my unfair, it was very unfair of me to make assumptions without giving you the benefit of the doubt in seeking a balanced perspective. I now realize what? Seeking what? Balanced perspective. You had me at Mr. Stern. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I. know. I. know. I know. I. I. know. I. I. know. I. know. I. know. I. know. I. know. I. know. know. I. know. I. know. I. I. know. I. know. I. know. I. know. I. know. I. know mistaken in my beliefs that I had failed to consider your years of experience contribution to the industry and the positive impact you've had on so many people. I should have approached the situation with an open mind and reserved judgment until I had all the facts. I understand that it's easy to be

influenced by hearsay and public perception. All right, okay. What? Hear say? I wrote this. Yeah. I just spelled hearsay. He-he-ar-s-a-y hearsay. Nope.

Yes, that's a spilling hearsay. How do you know that? Because I'm looking at it. There's not a red light. And you just assume that you nailed it? Yeah, I know that. But I have to, I've come to realize that is essential To farm our own opinions to I'm sorry form

For my own opinions and then farm them from the mouth opinions based on firsthand knowledge and a camp careful Consideration by your hand moving a lot like you're reading ad reads that you also did not write I wrote is giving away Jay I wrote this from my heart. Why do you have to do so much hand with your own right? Because I'm an actor Italian. I'm half Italian and you're acting like you wrote it. I deeply regret allowing myself to be swayed by popular opinion without giving you a fair chance. Please accept my heart felt apology without giving you a fair chance. Please accept my heartfelt apology for any hurt or misunderstandings my previous judgment may have caused.

No. I have what? What? I have learned a valuable lesson about the importance of fairness, empathy, and open-mindedness informing opinions about others. Thank you for your opinions about others.

Thank you for your time and understanding. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive my hasty judgment. Okay. All right. Just just all over, Titch. Give me, give me, give me an opportunity to learn from this experience. Well, this is the house that Howard built, so you have to, you know, alongside him. I think I find you well. Sinc, sincerely Robert Kelly. Oh, thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you guys. After he, after it said, after the first paragraph, he was out. Yeah. You know, dude, he didn't read that whole thing. You kidding me. He should have sprayed

that paper with perfume. He wrote that on. Why, you don't think I wrote that? It doesn't feel very you. I still appreciate you spoke here say wrong. What do you think it's HRE, S-A-Y? That's coming from a woman. That's not a man. Yeah. He's not smart.

But you know what? I just want to let you know that I wrote that. Did you A.I. it? No, of course not. I don't have that on my phone. But it was, I will tell you this though. Last week when I did No, of course not. I don't have that on my phone. But it was, I will tell you this though. Last week when I did that, it was a rookie mistake. Oh! Snickers!

Brought to you by Snickers, rookie mistake. Maybe you just need a Snickers. Snickers, the official chocolate bar of the NFL. Check out Snickers.com slash NFL to learn more. I'm glad you were able to pull it together for an ad read I know you have very dangerous the things you're willing to say That is a running for local office picture, isn't it? Yes, and I hope when Stern read that he brought his sense of humor When you read something like that, I love that picture, but I mean, I hope you I hope you're you got the parental Disgression is about your mother your mother coming on the phone. I was falling off my chair. Hello Bobby left You're he left for like five minutes straight up. They came back on the phone. I really made me left

So mean as easy call. I was like, oh, please mom answer I was like mom hang on the second. Let's link them like, mom, hang on a second. I just linked him. Like, I'll let you know that Bobby's getting ready to talk, and I don't know where he's going to go. And because he's saying one of the same things, it's going to be known that I should tell my parents about this. And now I already have a sense of humor I've been told. So I'm, we're good on that, mom.

I brought my sense of humor. It was required, but I already had it on me. Luckily. She was like, it's okay. You can talk to him. Sense of humor required. He goes, well, Bobby, if I forget mine, do they have a sense of humor at the door? I can just borrow for the night. You wear it like a coat. Yeah. Sport jacket to dinner. Well, humble pie is still on Bobby's diet, apparently. Beautiful. I thought it was well written. Well,'m the beautiful letter. I thought it was well written. Well, that letter.

Yeah. I think it was well written. I think I don't think he wrote it. I don't care whether he wrote it or not. I mean, why? The fact that he sent it to somebody who has no idea, you said now that brought light to what you said about him. I think we were proofreading it here.

I think he's stupid. The fact that he thought I wrote a letter, put it in an envelope and mailed it to Howard Star I do have to say you know emailed it. I do why would I eat? You didn't really write your number six. I was gonna say cut. I just put my feeni in front of you I tell you why why I know now that you and Richard nowhere near as close as I thought right there is that one he thought that was So now that you and Richard nowhere near as close as I thought right there is that one he thought that was really something you sent to Howard Stern. And also was pretty willing to accept that all those words you wrote were yours. But he doesn't get that there's no way you wrote those were hearsay and every time we brought

it up again, Richard, go, who cares about that? Howard's not going to read this, Bobby. Well, first of all, uh, is I was a hill? Can I say something? You always have a first of all and you never have a second of all. Yes, you're a, but you never have a fucking beat. Listen to me. Have a two. I have a second of all. Okay, let me tell you something waffle head. I said that was written by a woman. So I knew he didn't write it. I said that was written by a one. Two. Two. Okay, I was on the fence whether he did email it or not. Okay. Because I can't, he's not, I mean, he's smart. He does make a man. I hate your old saying. I was on the fence.

Yeah, I was. I'm on a fence. Okay, I was teetering going either way. And I knew he was on the swapi grass. I knew he's a man and he will make amends and say he's sorry. Sure. Okay. But I think he was dumb enough to email that to my favorite radio host. Well, let's see what you've ever from now. Well, well, well, I used to think you have a shot of getting on. I work here. I work here and I've given up on the hope. It's

just not going to happen. He's not into it. It's not happening. I'm not even trying. Oh, sounds like the wrap up show. You know, I've done that. I don't need to use comics anymore. No, they don't. Oh, really? No. Those days are over. No, one of us ruined it. Like we always do. I wonder who it was. You know when you go to a comedy club and there's all kinds of free stuff, you know, like us to the best.

They're like, the jet skis are out back. Just use them maybe. Then you come back, oh, we don't, you have water. You have water. Oh, I don't know. Mike Cannon came here and if I could smash the jet ski into the house. Someone blows it.

Someone when you see a major rule change. Yeah, someone blew it. Yeah, oh, it's so fucking I don't understand why you don't think I wrote it. What do you think my letter would have been Mike? Sorry, motherfucker. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think like I hope that it just was so corporate how we hope this finds you well Like I don't know how we do. about that. I'm not listening to whole thing. I listen to a whole thing kid. You ended it five times that that that that letter was five endings. You're like please accept my apology and again I really do hope that you accept my apology. That was my that was my nickname at high school five endings Kelly. Now also Bobby am I correct in thinking that today you've also written a poem to Dane cooking his lovely child bride on this very on this very magical day.

You have a poem? Bob, do you say your Dane? I hope this finds you well. Also, I am sorry. I do have a, I can't we do arenas again. I want to be a rainbow of enlightenment or whatever the hell that middle line was. Damn, she's gorgeous, huh? She got, he got married this weekend. Good for him. Damn, she's gorgeous, huh? She got married this weekend.

Good for him. 24, she is, right? Oh, it looks as if he got married at a samurai's dojo. Really? Oh, fuck now he's going in to help her with her homework. Where is he at? Where is it? Hawaii.

Hawaii? Hawaii. Is that her with the blonde hair? Yep. Didn't Hawaii burn down? Just one of them. Just Maui. Oh, then everything else is fine.

You can still go to other places. You still smell the smoke, which probably got I'm a little bit less for the hotels. That's probably. Wow. If you want a smoldering island view, it's a little less. She's 24. Yeah, make sure you say that right.

No. Bobby, how old is he now? She's from four. He's 51. He's 51. He's 51. 51. So she's less than half his age

whoa real math magician it's all I don't yeah double the first number everybody's getting older it's like why don't you shut the fuck off why don't you just shut the fuck off look at that but did you read it was what was the article you want to talk about chat GPT did you read his thing to Maui like it's like to why do you always got to be so who Who his um he there was an article written about the thing and he made some stuff about Maui like dear Maui I don't know I get it, but it's like when you did but you still alive You're on fire, but it's like, what you did, but you still alive. You're on fire, but your icy cold. They're forward.

That's what. Forward. Yeah. You want to go, but they won't let you down the road. You've got to jump in the ocean just to save your life. You're gone, but you're still in a heart. You can't go forward. What does she do that she has a Patreon patreon she holds a ball in the air and one leg in the air takes pictures of it If you want to see that foot come down

Yeah, and then I think it's a patreon which by the way yes Can we read the Bible versus yeah, I'm looking up right now. Find the richest grandfather. He's fucking a death. Isaiah said, Mary the now comic, the findest seed of the of the Lord. Findest thy eldest, Gester, finest thy eldest, on the last, last wing of his door,

and fornicate him straight to Hades. Get him before he goes gay again I will preach with Jay Davis. Oh rumor mill rumor mill for this is it I'm offended at that if he's gonna fuck anybody it would have been me Jay I will I will weigh harder than Jay Davis yeah and Gary was way harder than both of you right that's true. I'll tell you what though, you had one of every type. One of every type.

14, I will praise thee for I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous R thy works. And that my soul knoweth right well. It's kind of a kind of a twatty verse. Didn't it start off hope this reaches you well? I'd say it said, I hope this verse finds you well first Information on the Maui thing but every when I type in dane cook writes about Maui. It's just all about how his girlfriends I can't tell you how credible she is I can't believe how young and hot my girlfriend is

Guys look how young and I was thinking recently my girlfriend's pretty young and hot Up damn Guys look how young and I was taking recently my girlfriend is pretty young and hot up damn I felt really doesn't get too much shit for the 17 year old he dated. I know it was a long time ago I will just get a some Bobby Yeah, I want you to take this to heart and hear me and look at my eyes when I say this looking I'm dulling all day over this fucking little princess All day dude. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do with someone? You're gonna have such better down times than they cook trying to explain the world to a 24 year old. You never saw Teen Wolf. Yeah. They're gonna fuck. They're gonna fuck so much. A lot. And then

eventually he's gonna realize it. The girl he's fucking and she's gonna age and it's gonna just become so different. Yeah. I'm lucky this girl's not how to make fucking you know don't get to me yesterday She was watching YouTube and she read oh she goes feel my stomach And I was like okay, and I felt it it felt like lava. She goes yeah, I'm having a heat flash. Oh, well That's what I feel all the time. I was like oh great man I'm gonna make a pinball jelly. You want one? On Dave's killer bread. Do you want some?

Cause we can't eat regular bread anymore. Cause we're fucking all of guns. Christine woke me up with a fart in the yard alone for an hour. Christine woke me up with a loud fart the other day. Shook the room and then I popped up and she went, sorry, I thought you were asleep. Oh my god. Here's the thing that Dave can't do that I got to do this weekend because I got Friday night, Lev was 12 o'clock at night.

What's that? F*** a 50 year old. And I came right. I went to the gym. Friday night went to the gym. What steam went my shed smoke to cigar started writing some stuff. I felt like a million bucks. Saturday morning I woke up probably around 5'30

in the morning and I got a stomach bug somewhere and I was pissing from my butt. It sounded like a horse pissing. Oh, it's a, yeah. And I had to, and literally my wife, I woke my wife up with just that, what does that sound? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a spray. Like if, almost if you like thumb the hose.

It was, it sounded like a middle-age woman if you like thumb the hose. It was it sounded like a Like a middle-age woman peeing in a parking lot at an Aussie concert just You're terrible. It's thick and he's going a little tighter than that, too Yeah, it sounded like an angry snake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yes, and you can feel the pebs coming out too, right dude? It was all day long I'm just in the bathroom and she heard that and I woke her up with that Dang can never do that then I started throwing up then I was puking this went Friday This is sad. Oh, you're saying you can never let down his guard of being as best good-looking as he possibly can be Yeah, I mean don't want hopes and dreams of dead right even though I lost weight. It's not happening

You know what I mean? This is the end. This is what she's got. She's glad you come home at the end of the day She's glad. Yeah, she's glad I'm there and I buy food She told me to go she goes listen you have a show tonight get it together I'm a fucking I'm a money thing. She was like, what do you need to get to your show? Like, what do you need? I was like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm literally putting my face on the tile just to cool it off. I'm dying. I've thrown up six times. I've shit 17 times. Oh, it's so lucky. Staying can't do that. And why you would do that. You can't do that with a 20-year-old last night.

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong.

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. I'm with you. I over over the pandemic. I diarrhea shit my pants in the garage and I checked it with my hand

And I go emergency I started yelling emergency I turned to a little kid and I ran downstairs and finished the job Left the pants down there put him in a bag She goes where'd you put the clothes and I'm like I'm throwing him out She goes I'll wash him and I'm like no all fucking but the fact that she would even consider washing Diary a pants last night and I'm like, no! I'll fucking, but the fact that she would even consider washing diarrhea pants. Last night, so I said to Bonnie, let's go. I love her. I go, let's go out for dinner. She said, oh, come not that hungry.

So it goes, I need to go to Walmart. So I go, you know what? As we're going out to dinner, she goes, I'm not, I go, all right. Once a week I eat bad, I go, I have to go to Popeye's, which is right by Walmart. And I went to Popeye's had to check him delicious then we went to Walmart so I'm putting a rug down in one room and I go I got to put

a drop cloth a plastic one over the rug so the dog doesn't piss on just listen I put up with your weight treasuredness just from Popeye's to Walmart we're not putting a plastic fucking drop cloth in the living room. She goes, get out of the mud and let your white trashness go. You really have your garbage. Your shit. Oh, you thought there should be a drop cloth on it?

Indefinitely. Well, no, until company comes over, if we ever have it. Why? Because the dog pisses on drugs. I thought you put all wooden floors on the house but i have a my liver was Victorian i wanted to put a rub a throw rug but the dog walked fuck does that mean i i i i was good i'm far enough down uh which is friendless that i didn't feel comfortable interrupting with that but i was gonna wait till as you did but i was gonna wait till he was done and say something you just say. I bet there's no way which it's from his childhood.

I don't know what the story means. I do. I do. I do. It's when he was born in the Victorian era. The foster player harps accord in your living room now. Those fat guitars that round the back. Oh, that's a loot

It's a whatever But she said get your do you have pictures of the Victorian why I picture my pictures on the wall. He has a nice one I want to tell you real quick. No, he has he's big into 17th century Italian art It's fucking a trod No, it's beautiful. What's 17th century? Oh, I put a picture up of a tourgasm in my living room. You fucking idiot. It's like a fucking at least it be contemporary.

I listen to be contemporary and I do. I think Bonnie Christine when we went to riches his last house was Bonnie not showing us to like rich likes to decorate with like it's like shitty paintings yeah this is a great idea no did not should be the only big-body gold for a yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes but money really money really had this approach to those like a real head shake of like a yes

and that's rich is like she's like hey she almost had like a thanks for liking the place despite which is ridiculous gold framed pictures their great that's Rich's like she's like, hey, she almost had like a thanks for liking the place. Despite Rich's ridiculous gold framed pictures, that's grandma, it's grandma. It doesn't make sense. Well, it doesn't make sense that you see his 16th century hands. When man hands were smaller, because we didn't have hormones in our chickens.

Okay. And we found out. We're just gonna share it. Rich could live in Valley forage houses. Yeah. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, stop. What do you get? I didn't mess it up. I got it right there. And how to use a phone, yes.

You need an asshole. I got, I bought two of them. I bought matching. I'm gonna tell you this. I bought matching. If you bought, if you bought these, I bought two of them. If I was your you this I bought magic if you bought if you bought these I bought two of them if I was your wife and you brought these home to me You'd find them in the fire. What are they carpets? No look at their beautiful antique shut up now those chairs

Rich they serve no function. Yeah, they're beautiful when I put my little Tea table in some tiny unit. No, no, no, he would have been you guys have no idea he would have been a little general With a sword and he would have slapped, you guys would have no idea. He would have been a little general with a sword. And he would have slapped guys in the face with his little glove. Yeah, it slapped my people. He's one of those, like, caramel orange candy dishes. I can't really do it.

Yeah. First of all, you guys, you guys live on fucking bean bag chairs and spools as table that they had wire on. I decorate, I'm a man. I'm an adult. You decorate nice. You decorate like Shakespeare. Okay.

So have you ever saw the TV show The Crown? How beautiful. It's not good. You got a king. You got a king. So everybody got a small pot of queen team. We're barely accepting legend. You want king?

How have you ever seen you seen it go beautiful how law how nice fucking hand palace looks with all those you know it's funny I when I do the zillow porn one of the things I look away from this not my style is when houses have like a room that's got walls that are bookshelves I don't make that decision for me yeah Yeah, I don't really. But Rich once like a, he's something he wants a chandeliered, like 4A. He wants to have a chandelier in the dining room.

He wants to have sex with a girl when it takes 45 minutes to get undressed. Or like, when Vos, I find the lawn and the powder. Well, you want time I boost the A. I just want to have sex. So let me tell you something. You're, I ran out of things I think about when I spank it yep those chairs now he's got little like a little field it's a little

field with a Dutch boy in it some shit in a duck it's mountains of boys peeing his art sucks out it's nice nice no no I got new stuff He's like my new stuff new Italian art some of it. Yeah, I got a new one Where do you get it goodwill all over? I? Can I say something please? This is happening my mom and what happens the older you get you become a hoarder because These shut up you are no, yeah, she do you I'm asking question. I'll give you a test I'm gonna give you a bunch of touch. I'm gonna give you a test

Do you have a tent with a Marborough miles back on it? Do you have a tent that says Marborough on it Marborough next to the sleeping bed? It's my shovel in jacket you don't even smoke or camp you never know when when it comes up I have the stuff in case yeah, but it's gonna fall into ash because it's been there for 30 years wait a second yeah what you sent the Marborough miles in and got the things back in the day but I smoked but everything I think he has a moat head that says Marborough no no no Bonnie I got with miles she had my she had my wait let's move off of this I really need to hear what you were saying earlier about how much you almost died.

Oh, this is great. Oh, this is great. Yeah, we had a... We both had rough weekends. We had a serious week. I was dying from a disease and you almost died yourself from somebody else. Holy shit. You almost died, but like, it was...

We were pretty wacky close to it. Yeah, and we really... It's a happy Mike's here to tell the story with me because we... was died, but like it was pretty wacky close to it. Yeah, we really, it's happy mics here to tell the story with me because we had, and I'm not, my actions were not heroics, and it was not, but for some reason this didn't frazzle me as much. I haven't seen anything like it before, but it was pretty wild. So this, it's the shit out of everybody else around it, though, for sure. Indianapolis, a club, by the way, I love the staff there. I have a good time.

I've watched, I guess, over the last few, the outside of it is like, I figured with the street it is, but like it's meridian. Meridian street. It's just wild at night on the weekends, particularly. It's just, I say it's like where the oceans meet. It's fret like people and people having weddings at the hotels right there Like ebore city improv and the hood. Yes, you know, we're out of city improv during the day if we don't know

It's families and tourists and it's awesome and then around 10 30 at night Oh, it be like you said the oceans me know what's in between you know, it's in between are those like 10 people peddling on a bar that's a bike? You know those dumb fucking things and bachelor at parties and all that and then little by little it just gets seedy. And then there's like a thousand cars go by the thing exactly the same. They're all getting like olds mobiles and old Cadillacs

and putting them on these crazy wheels. It's like a thing there and it's just waiting, it's a shoulder bump away. You feel like from everything going down. The night before, I guess that was Friday night. You heard two really loud bangs kind of close. But like you almost tell it was like M80-ish, but it was somebody being an asshole, trying to cause an issue. And also on Friday night, we were walking to riding scooters

to the club. And to, You two, Wait a second. I'm sorry. You two are riding scooters? Yes. Yes.

Fantastic. What do you rank? The line ones, the other ones you kind of, and this video of this? Yes. Where is this video? There's video of this moment. He's actually going to tell you,

could you actually text Dylan, ask him if he has that there were two there were two guys imagining one was homeless and one was crazy and or on his way to homeless and shirt off one guy was fighting with a parking cone over a ten speed bike like they were fighting about that was it was not a one of those in homeless at all one of them was getting into it was a white dude getting into it with a home was black dude who's out there i just watch me just as a schmooze white tourist and intimidate them basically into giving him some money And this like bald

loopy white dude just like took a shirt off and he's like kept trying to almost fight him call them the N word But said it still and almost like the wiggory way, you know what I mean, but it was uh And then yeah, we wrote scooters right past that he didn't say it like the wiggory way, do you know what I mean? But it was, and then he had we wrote scooters right past that. He didn't say it like the offensive Boston way? No, it wasn't like, yeah, no, it wasn't said at him in like the racial way. It was like, he seemed like he was just like, that's how he talks in a fight,

but still hit like thunder. At a busy four way intersection, broad daylight, like it was like still very light out and everything. So that was like, and he called it a powder keg early on that it's like, shit's ready to just explode at any moment across the street from the club was like just a banana's parking lot where like everyone's hanging out. There's tons and tons of people there all night. Like throughout the like six street in Austin. Yes, there are bars everywhere, but but cars going through it also. And then police come at night and sort of block off streets

But anyway, it's about two in the morning or so. I hate that so they make the whole area a bar Yeah, dude And you get your and you could drink out so it's what Mike you make it a bar So they actually card people before they get in the street So that that whole area they do that in Louisville too, which I hate, because they make that little area almost like a drinking prison, where people are fucking poisoned.

Yeah, it's like Cincinnati, they have that strip that's just all bars for like, it was exactly like that. Well, the thing you said, yeah, that's like, you can be like guns and Indianapolis, you can carry guns. God bless America. And you can walk, he's like, you can, like, people have guns in Indianapolis. Like you can carry guns. God bless America. And you can walk. God bless America.

And you can walk around with a open container. Yeah. You can drink. God bless America. It's like, and but, but we all west. It's like, but we eat is very illegal. We eat there is very illegal. As it should be.

We eat it. We eat it for stupid people. He's run for mayor this place. So guns and alcohol. Now, just to set up, just to set the scene a little bit too. Like at this point in the night even too, there's like an extremely like busy amount of people at two in the morning hanging outside a bar,

sitting on their cars. And like a drunk is held by that annihilated. Yes and everybody like you were like an elbow bump away from like everything. A fucking ride. What's the what's the what the, what does it look like? What do you mean? Just a mixture of everybody.

Is it all black? Is it all white? No, it's what I'm saying. It's what, it's like white people, like they're having weddings at these hotels that are right there walking down just kind of going to the bars, like after party into bars.

Also like sloppy bachelor at parties. Yes, and then like frat, fratty bros, you know, and then Just like the hood is going one direction and they're and they meet At this in front of this place called the district tap it seems like seems to be ground zero Somebody throws down a piece of cardboard break dance and it's a fucking Really it was that's how we settled ship back dance and break Dan and if it came a little maybe a knife tire wrist together and dance fight with switch place Miss the eighties just a dance off roller skate off. Yeah

The roller skaters dude. All the toughest guys were the best roller skaters. Yeah, it's a little roller skating. So we're leaving two in the morning, say goodbye to everybody. And we get like, you know what, I don't, it was like 50 feet away or something kind of turn the corner. It's a walk to the hotel. Yeah.

Oh, you don't have a ride. We just got a walk. It was like four bucks. You didn't have your bird school to waiting for you? We could have bird school to wait. You could have. But we just started walking. Okay.

Also, we're walking because up into this point, I keep referring to this, it was like great people watching. Cause again, it's like a fight break set, like, oh, you'll watch a fight for a few minutes. You don't want to be in it, you know? You kind of want to stay away from like that kind of a, but you want to see it.

I don't mind watching, you know, as long as I walk back to hotel, if people get into fights and screaming outside of bars and shit I'm the exact opposite. I see anything. I'm gone. I don't want anything to do with it I'm very I'm not deviating my path, but I'm saying in the path I'm like it's a short walk and we'll probably see some wild goofy shit happening just girls Wait, Titties hanging on the sheet asses literally asses just out. So I'm like, I didn't much. I do that. Yeah. So we start walking. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. But what is it without diarrhea flying out of them?

No. But also, Bobby, you may not, you might still in the case, be like, why don't we just take a car like, why have any possibility? Because I guess there is turns out, I guess definitely the possibility of some being in the crosshairs of some. I do like a girl. I will watch a girl throw up like the one girl just, and she has nine girls around there. And then catch up.

And then she's just, yeah, throwing up on her white jeans. She's not look good. And then you just see through them because there's a bile all over in me. Of course, pizza cheese and bile. And they think it's done, but then, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Of course. He eats a cheese and bile. And they think it's done, but then... Broom, broom, broom, broom.

Bobby, the best people watching in that scenario though, when they're all throwing up, is the guys, like the few, she has like nine friends around with the girls. The few girls that picked up guys, and the guys are standing outside that circle of girls looking at her friend waiting to see if they're still gonna go home with those girls like so it looks like your friends gonna be alright those guys just kind of waiting like so we get her water like so do we have to make sure like she gets back or like the Uber lift the ambulance shows up always the hottest one is like I'll go with her yeah Just two chubby girls like we're free. Sorry my friend died. You want to get pizza?

Do you remember Fenway a chicken in a denim skirt just like in line for a beer couldn't wait anymore and just ran to the side of the beer stand and just pissed just like a dude would just a chick at Fenway. So you just love me a talk Oh my god, and then just got right back in line Dude, you didn't tell us how you almost died We're getting married, no, we're getting married Dude, oh okay My mother's two hours ago

My mother's five My mother's friend did this Really? Yeah, when I was a kid, we were going to I had to do some event And she just came out and just just pulled us She goes, my father taught me this The best thing he ever taught me

He's just pissed on the side of the car What Boston is cracked? Oh yeah My father taught me this the best thing he ever taught me. He's just pissed on the side of the car What Boston trash? Oh, yeah, my father taught me this is chicks piss My father told me to pull my panties to the side and let my pussy leak all over the floor my father brought that to me one day You're gonna be at Foxboro and it's gonna be real cold Pull your pussy out in front of a bunch of people strangers and just and just piss. When they're gonna have to melt ice in your entire fox bear out. Like a funnel, that lady's kind of side. I keep on in my car. It's a little tube that squishes up real small, and then when you get a pee, and it has

like a vagina top, but you can actually stick your shirt in. Yeah, I call it that. And pee into it. I can't. The wizard, the wizzinator or something. I love it. I thought what he put cause where's the hose go out though? Well, no you put it has a lid so you can pee in it and has a lid that pops on and keeps it tight And then when you get somewhere you can empty it out and you know what I heard I've heard it's basically a funnel Where you just piss into it and it comes out of your P. That's that's one of them. No, I's collapsible. Mine's collapsible, the Guy P1.

All right, well, we're not all fucking worried about how our girls are gonna pee outside after the apocalypse like you are. Yeah, so. To me words. To me words. The concept was great though. I was with you though.

You're always preparing for the wilderness. The two go. Got a thing. There it is, right there, that's the thing I got. Oh, look at that. That thing, That's what you got to get it collapses. Oh, I tried to piss into a bottle or something in a car once and if you know, I missed. I have done it once or twice. You're getting hard getting those 1700 underwear off. I will say I agree with you by the way, and that was nice thing to find out. My dick heads too fat for a lot of bottles. A lot of bottle tops. I think I get an old school gatorade glass bottle.

Maybe the glass, but the gatorade, the big thing. You think, I always thought my dick can go into a toilet paper roll. I'd be like, my dick's not thicker than that, but it doesn't get into it. Get the fuck out of here. Toilet paper? No.

When did you figure that out? How bored of you. When I try to put my dick into a toilet paper roll. Alone in the bathroom or? Yes, alone. You don't ask somebody else to put a fucking toilet paper on your dick. I don't know.

You do weird things, dude. You do poor Chinese handcuffs. Cruiser shit. It would not surprise me if you were like, hey, so the other night I tried to put a, my dick in a fucking toilet paper on a cruise. Lost me, you tried to do Chinese handcuffs the other night I'd try to put a, my dick in a fucking toilet paper on a cruise. Lost me, you should try to do Chinese handcuffs together. Oh, look at Luke, look what Luke's got.

That's paper towel. That's paper towel, though. So, so we're, all right, two o'clock in the morning. Get a toilet paper one. Let me, I'm telling you, it's smaller and, yeah, I don't know about a paper towel. Paper towel, I'm sure it's slide it all right. I've never tried with a paper towel.

Guys, to be continued. Mike? Yeah. What do you got? Two o'clock in the morning, we leave the club. And there was a spot where Jay was going outside smoke in, we're standing there. It's directly across the street is District Tap.

And then this gigantic parking lot. Where is the epicenter of like all night where I was going to just go to the bike? I think we're the hang, screw that like you know that's where it's gonna happen you see the guys all screaming at girls and blah blah blah we walking right to thank God that close to the club and you just hear three shots that just blasted out like that no dude like that fast and I mean everybody in that parking lot hundreds of No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not fireworks that was his initial response was that's not fireworks and i look across the street and i see guys running and they're like going for their belts like going for their guns their guns that's when i freak the fuck out because i'm thinking like

all this is going to turn into like a a shoot out or something you know and we just started the one-time a lunatic to get to know that i was like oh this is not still he's i got my i'm from i wasn't like my fucking back i was like yeah we just're here for some crazy shit So the cops are like the cops are your end of this shit Jay. No, but my thoughts were also going like right away to looking at the female staff There and going like damn dude. I wonder if like my daughter said she worked at a helium comedy club

You're like great. I wouldn't be like it's the place where there's constant violence outside You know, I mean like I was that's what I started thinking about thinking about father I'll tell my daughter don't get too close to the owner Because I'll stop fucking calling So this kid there was he was your number one best friend You'll play golf with him and then all of a sudden now you got to play golf at the other filly club We know you're playing golf with the old punchline Filly club. We know you're playing golf with the old punch line. No, you're playing golf with the punch line.

We saw the gunshot. Anybody get hit. To wait, to wait. So bang, bang, bang, every one he starts running. The cops are there, right? The cops are like sitting in their cars like almost like this and sit up. They don't get out. No, they pull up.

No, they pull up. They all pull up. We run. We run this way to back into the club you ran shut the door Stop, oh, yeah, I ran. I've never seen Jay run Jay ran ran jogged like you run What a good bag when I saw the crowd That's for the first time I go. I don't know if it's gonna be an actual gun fight of some aside I wasn't gonna hang around find that out

It was like a momentum walk nothing's gonna penetrate those you know what kind of I caught the breed I got to win everybody else. I just got into there. It was the it was the pace Nothing's gonna penetrate those. You know what kind of, I caught the breed. You know what I'm saying? I got the wind of everybody else just gotten it there. It was the pace of like when they open up the doors at the mall on like Black Friday. It was kind of a run, but it was a lot of people. And it's like don't step on people, but everybody's pushing. Oh, you fall, John knows you're fucked.

You're dead. So we were like, have you got trampled? We ran into one of the guys that worked there. You came in with just a broken wrist. I'm pretty athletic, Bobby. I got trampled by a bunch of black girls running from gunfire. All your teachers are scattered.

You're in a cell. It was merch. It was merch everywhere. You come out the next night, all the kids in the parking lot were in your merch. They just are calling gunfire a crackle crackle. A crackle crackle. So yeah, so we go into the club for five or less minutes, even.

And it was just kind of like, I think we can go. The cops are all there. Right. There's not a shootout happening. The dude, the dude who manages goes, I can give you guys a ride back if you want. You know, like it's, and I'm like, Yeah, I know I'm so hilarious. Mike, yeah, Mike and Dylan both were definitely like, yeah, my guys, it's not happening again here.

He goes, dude, the cops are out there now. I love it. He thinks it's like lightning. Bobby, I was scared, shitless. I have no problem admitting it. I was petting it. It's not lightning. It's not a shark attack.

Bobby, I swear you got weird. It's a bad neighborhood. It happens all the fuck it's outside. When we went outside and got by the, I would have watched the situation more, but, but Dylan, I'm like, we're both like, they're both like, come on, man, let's go. And I was like, all right.

I just felt like it had a joke over me. No, so when we walked out, we saw him putting the police tape around, like the few trees right there. And in the middle of those trees there was a guy with like blood coming out of their own the street pretty wild. Oh, the shit?

There was a guy so listen, when the shot he's lived, but like he was like they were like prown in his chest and shit like he was like they flipped him over and you saw the blood coming out from on the pretty wild. When the shots were happening though, he wasn't in the middle of the street like there were cars. So like he must have like walked out. He came out and screamed Stella. He screamed Stella and then he went down and he was I mean Dora they wanted a cookie he said I'm King Kong in this motherfucker and they were all like

sorry everyone was standing around did you hear riches no I I know rich please go ahead. No, I can't no please no so like thank God you want to get Which please just do it. I want to hear what he said come on you stay rich steaks Was it we're watching video right now on my phone you're saying video look at all the cops We'll just send the Christine tentative Christine. So we're gonna. I want you. I was right there Look at all the cob. We'll just send the Christine. Tend to the Christine so we're going to all watch it. That was right there. We'll watch it on the TV.

This is video of downtown Indianapolis in front of the club where it all went down. This is right after, correct? Right after. This is, yeah, on our walk back to the hotel. It's so much better when you're working outside of the city like, you know, wherever instead in the big city. When you're working to club that's fucking 20 minutes 25 minutes from you feel so much safer like a standalone comedy club without where they're going

Yeah, people who are there are there to see the comedy yeah, yeah, when you go to the club when it's in the thing of all the High drinks when it's when you got a walk past tense Well, you know We have to walk past a movie theater line that's longer than you're aligned to go to your show. Yeah. You mean a Chick-fil-A line's long. I was so excited in San Antonio one night.

There was a line down the stairs. Down into the parking lot was a fucking shit. I did it, man. I did it. I was walking up and going, hey, I was saying hi to people online. What's up, man? How you doing? Thanks for coming. You probably can't believe you're meeting me, but I'm signing stuff that you didn't even ask you to sign. I didn't know I don't know

There's a movie just came out there's a movie Alamo Drafthouse it was 13 people at my show San Antonio is the biggest room on the planet Alamo Draft I was like oh, what's up man? I thought I was going what's up dude? You will be fooled and that you will be fooled in that parking lot because of the Alamo draft house You'll be like yeah, there's nowhere to park in the other side fucking seven theaters And then you go into the biggest room in a country

It's the worst when they have what is a standalone though and you pull it to the park and you get a spot It's like 10 minutes before show and you park right in front That was a that was a real gauge for me in my career was the comedy connection from me going to do Conrad action shows where I was like Able to park and then now if I pull into that first lot you always go like nothing got to go around the back I guess that is a telltale one That's the best club probably the best club in the one of the best country.

Yeah, the best. Fucking road. I let you talk about right right off the exit. Not only that and I'm not just saying this because you use it. One of the best club owners on the planet. You are doing that. But you know, he built my website. I mean, fucking built my website.

If they don't use it, even though it's good club, you still track. Game one that doesn't even I and I'll tell you how to date Fuck any asshole. I told you they're awesome The best dad is great the whole family's awesome the staff is amazing. I don't remember One of the best I told you what I did the dad No, he you she came to the show. I was in love. He was great. Yeah, it was a comedy show. He's joking What's that nothing? I'm sorry. So anyway this guy's dead

So he lived I mean, I don't know if he's still alive, but he was alive And I know what I'm with what you do you look like a gang member? I was shook enough. Here's the thing though. Let's get a ride home and just go back to the ride home. Jay wants to walk because Jay lives. The stuff he watches on TV is all this dangerous crazy stuff. He likes riding that edge of the knife. He likes being on the edge of the knife where he can see it but not be in it and feel it but not be a part of it.

He likes his heart pumping a little bit. Yeah, I'll stay and watch a fire or something but not. I'm gonna shout. He's not in my life. I'm crying in the house. Mike's with you. I'll be honest with you, dude. Being afraid of a little light gun play outside and foreign streets to you.

Yeah. Is a rookie mistake. Oh! Rookie mistakes. Rookie by Snickers, rookie mistake. Maybe you just need a Snickers mic. Snickers, the official chocolate bar of the NFL, checkoutsnickers.com slash NFL to learn more. You just need a Snickers bro.

I was hungry. You were just a little hungry, is all the same. Oh, I feel like a snake. Maybe if that guy was a gun at a Snickers, people wouldn't be shot. Oh dude I even feel like it was we when we when we turn the corner from this We're walking down real quiet streets and there's cars with like two dudes in it And it's idling and the lights are off in the car and I'm like

Dude this could just start I would do this every time people looked at us. I would do this It's up. Yeah, I'm real big. What's up? What's hiding? What you got? Yeah. Oh, so J would turn to flex his calves. Yeah. What's up? You want to mess with you and Tango with this? You got to know how to carry yourself when you're walking through a situation. That's the problem. You got to know, you know what I'm saying? You can't walk like you're kicking the game. I just can't walk. You're too fucking white. That's the problem. I know. That's what I was worried about. You are very white. very White which is to go to rob you and realize you middle they're gonna move on Because you don't have enough money, but what I'm saying is by like I know Jay

He know street Bobby is street, but he just gave up on it He just like he just fucked is that man you walked away from the streets and you're a mountain's felt folks now You're more trail now, though. I'm a street and woods. I'm full of the sack, bro. Oh, my God. I'll fuck up. I'll fuck up.

I'll fuck up. Anybody. I'll fuck up on the streets and a bear. OK? You understand what I'm saying? I'm with you. Even though I ran from a Puerto Riga with a knife like a sissy. I've run from moose to you.

I did. I ran from, I'm with you. I ran from there. I'm only just holding my snack bag bag out running backwards going hey hey I suck I'm so crazy at a knife that's different he had a knife Oh, he had a nice knife. I was so scared. I don't know. It's just like the danger was over so fast. Now listen if I like heard like You know the stone behind me on the wall, like chip or something, I probably would have panicked hard, but just see you know, it was like happening and like we, we, we, we, like, we ran around the corner right away.

But you don't know, here's the thing with that. You don't know what it was over. Right. Correct. I don't know if it was some white dude saying some shit. Now, let's get all these white dudes. Exactly. You know what I mean? And all these white dude exactly you know you to come you know you got your hair frosted he's got his dumb after-show glasses well you guys are committing smoke that was wild right dude and then you gotta be shit me god we're gonna fuckers smoke these bitches I thought I mean for the retaliation probably we could have gone through all of that in our minds and weighed out every possibility of how this could be

of end data against white people. But it turns out, as we all thought, it was just a blackout. You got shot. There's a blackout in the job. It was, I was surprised. Yeah, I don't think the white, you know, I guess it is. The white people down there will carry guns,

but I think this is definitely like, when you see when it's down there, do like what's like, where the aggression's coming from. And it's just like, it's like, it's a being drunk white people trying to have like the, I'm not gonna take this shit. I mean, it's like that thing because like,

it's a lot of like, intimidation fact you want there. The music is thump, then the cops are doing nothing. I mean, people sitting outside of their car, sitting on their car. It was almost like that was the night for some people. Drinking out of a bottle, sitting out of the sun roof of the car with pounding of bodily booze. It was wild.

And the cops just like, I want nothing to do. We went to see an earth one to fire and weather report years ago. In Newark, I think when they first came out, I think it was called the first album. I think it was called School Stadium. Studio 51. So it was outdoors at this outdoor stadium. That's a great conversation.

And I'm sitting there, thank you, Lord. And two guys just started running, but it built. I look up, there's like a hundred people running, and I'm like, Godzilla, two white people. Me and some, without even a blink of an eye, I was up and gone. You just gotta be aware of your surroundings. That's what I'm saying. I don't have any kind of thing.

I'm just like kind of aware of like, again, my eyes are just kind of always open to it. I'm surprised if I'm not. So it's not about being tough. It's more about like seeing what's gonna happen and kind of getting away from that thing. That's why I said, like, I wouldn't have done that if I thought there was any more danger left, but I am thing. That's why I said like I didn't I wouldn't have done that If I thought there was any more danger left, but I am serious

That's why he's that's why Jay's great at crowd work You you could see what's going on in the whole room Yeah, so it's like but but that I did not see those shots No, did you see that we have to take a break we do we do we do take a nice hot break We're gonna pay the bills But we got to get break when we come back We do. We do. We do. We do a big nice hot break. We're gonna pay the bills. Okay. But we got to get break and we come back. We can might can tell you about the pedophile hot that we went on. Oh, I'm excited. We got a J 30 Rich Fawkes got 30 minutes his brand new 30 minutes on gas digital right now. He killed it. It's on YouTube tomorrow

And it's also gonna be No, that's Mike Fenoyas special don't let me down available now at 800 pgm You can pay what you want until November 9th and it'll be on YouTube for free Robert Kelly live. Oh, yes, go to YouTube. Oh, you can go to richforce.com It'll be a link there for a special and my wife hates me podcast is back up You know great for great first episode one of my favorite podcasts My I love it. I really do. It's it's it's most disturbing fucking show I don't know how you're together. I just don't know how but go check that out and what's the website again YouTube? What? No, I'm not

Okay, YouTube slash rich boss and Robert Kelly live comm and big J. Oh big J comedy Dr. Comedy comm scant fest this week Some day pass is still available for a couple days Friday and Sunday Big big bonfire. I can't wait to do it live very very fun. Yeah. We'll be right back everybody. It's the bonfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup

dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo