The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Violent Friend with Ali Siddiq

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

One of the most prolific comedians today, Ali Siddiq returns to the Bonfire with his handler Andre. Ali explains how Andre is a problem. | There's a respect for headlining comics in Texas that gives them the right to the green room in the clubs. | Jay tells the recent story of how Bobby saved a black child from the waters of Costa Rica. | Ali was once told he needed to "get passed" at The Comedy Cellar in order to get booked there. Go to Alisiddiq.com for all Ali's tour dates and his many specials are on YouTube! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. He's got a new special Mondays available right now on YouTube, as well as his other specials. My Two Sons rugged in the four-part series, The Domino Effect. It is the great Ali Sadiq joining us in the house. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

That was a wonderful introduction. That was good. Must I say, also, to go along with that credit, the only ever independent comedian to ever be nominated. for a major award with NAACP Image Awards for my two sons.

Oh really? So for you as a YouTube independent release? Yeah, I'm nominated. That's great. When is it? I don't know, man. You're going to go? What the fuck, man? No, I'm on the road, man. You're not going to go? What if you win?

Hey, they not, it's not televised, so they just read it. It's a banquet? Basically for us. Well, that's actually a good thing to happen because it was funny, Bill Burr, you know, went to the, was it the Grammys that just happened? Bill Burr went to the Grammys got there,

ended up getting, like, asked about politics on the red carpet and then didn't win. Bargatsy won, and he did a thing from Bedge. Everybody goes, hey, y'all, thanks for voting for me. He wasn't there. He just won while he was on his couch. He's like, oh, look at that. Look at one of Graham.

Bill Burr had to go out there, have his wife look at him different as they drove home. Oh, they had a fun time, though. They had little photo shoots. Yeah, it's a good time. You know, I just haven't made any of the stuff. They had a golf tournament. They had a luncheon for the nominees, you know.

Can we send Rich Voss in your stead, like, to represent you? No, no, if he had to buy a ticket for like two grand. You have to buy a ticket. Probably. For the televised joint, because we're not televised. They just, they don't even, from what I understand, they don't put your pitch up on the virtual thing. They just read.

the winner is and then as they go to the next one so but you know if I win it I'm be happy but if not you know didn't nobody see me that's it that's it that's how I felt when I did the porn awards and one of my podcasts was nominated because we would interview porn stars but we're going against actual porn podcast where they like they fuck on the like on the actual podcast so I had a feeling we weren't going to win but I don't know as it got close to the day I was like maybe we're going to win this thing and we weren't one of the, again, like, televised or filmed things. So the very, the crew we were with, it was, uh, sitting to my left was my date, quote

unquote, Romy Chase or no, Romney Rain. Romy Chase. Romney Chase. Who was a BBW porn star, big Polish girl, squeezed into her outfit, sitting next to me, uh, to my rights, the guy I do the podcast with Ralph. And just at the very end of the show, the last two things, they just go. and best BBW porn star Not that girl

And she was like, oh And then they go And best podcast Not you guys And you know the Adam 22 or whatever And then just turn the lights on They were like that's the end of the awards The fuck did I get a suit for

This sucks Did you have at least fun at the events? No I thought I think again Times have changed with The porn awards Was always lined up with the

With the tech thing out there, the consumer electronics show. Oh, wow. Because the porn stars would always go out there to prostitute themselves to the rich executives. Wow. And then they were like, well, we're already out here, so let's just do the awards while we're out here. And then, I think it became parties. When Norton did it, he was like, oh, every hotel room in the place had an open door, you just walk by and they're sucking and fucking and doing all kinds of shit. And then the year I went, everyone's just doing their own, like, video you know everyone's got an only fans now so everyone's just doing like private videos everywhere

there was no parties no nothing we went to an all black swingers party and we're awkward for sure you and ral ralph and they were like you could have some snacks if you want and i was like all right there was a girl sleeping on the couch we did not start the party let's say yeah it was the avians yeah i wanted to host that at one point they say it's a hell gig which i can see why But David Tell, who's done it a few times, told me that he's like, you can't make fun of it at all. Like they want you to, which I'm like, I can't do that. If I was going to host it, I would make fun of porn for sure. He said they have no sense of humor about themselves.

So it would just die in the room. It's like the UFC used to have events once a year and they would hire a comic to host it. You cannot make fun of the fighters. They get just angry. They don't get humor. They like the Dutch. They don't get sarcasm. They always do that to you.

You're trying to make a room full people laugh while they're all drinking out of a gallon of water. Nonstop. They're always trying to do their water. That's weird. Can I ask a question? I don't, I didn't even, what's up, man? How are you? What's your name?

Andre, man. I didn't even see him come in. I just looked over and then he was there and I was like, what the fuck happened? He's the shadow. Yeah. He's the shadow. Like, I don't even argue with people. You'd be talking to me and all of a sudden you end up getting choked and you think I did it.

Didn't do it. We have Paco. Don't bow. Yeah, Dre's a problem. Yeah, is he your security? You know, what they say, he's your handler? Is that your handler? No, that's my friend that's violent.

It can also be corporate at the same time. You can tell he's violent because he don't even like laughing. He's trying to nod to smile right now. He's so crazy. Man, you made me laugh at that motherfucker. He's showing Bobby weakness right now. Well, you know, Kevin... He had a, like, a real, like, corporate job.

Right. And I went up to his job one time, and it was weird. It was all outdoors. Some little white lady came. Oh, Mr. Dre, I put my, um, with some briefing on his desk. And he was being real corporate in front of me. I couldn't wait until that lady walked. I was like, oh, she put a briefing on your desk.

Then he got... Then I guess whatever happened, they downsized the company. He had been there for like 10 years. They downsized. And I don't have a lot of sympathy for corporate people. I told him he got fired. He came and told me, man, what he fired me? And I was like, good.

Now you can make some real money on the road with me being what you want to be. Violent. Violence. He finally gets to be violent. Trying to get some violence in your life instead of briefing. It's like the water boy. Every time he has to go with somebody for you. he just sees that old white lady's face

It was wonderful Yeah, he has the word briefing He has to cover his ears He'll kill somebody Crazy That's like Kevin Hart Has a few guys around him But I know Kevin from the cellar

And then he would come back With a gaggle of dudes around him A couple of them And they came over to the pussycat When Kevin was there But I know Kevin so I was like Ah look at you fucking Walking around with these fuck

And they were not having it I walked up and I go Hey man you're at a comedy club You need to be You know loosen up little bit and he just stared me down and he goes no and I was like I'm gonna walk out the front right now when I was when I was younger very young comedy I encountered Alan Iverson's drays one of my partner was Alan Iverson's drays oh really yeah yeah Khalil they didn't let you get

anywhere near I saw him in a club I was like I'm gonna go say congrats on the MVP he wants to hear it for me I walked over man they crossed they stepped right in front I was like oh sorry guys you must be in the wrong place. I'm just trying to get to the champ over there. Let him know. We'll let him know, dude. I do have certain code words or certain things that he knows

on the road when someone is Duke walking up, or do you have things that you say to him? No, he's always watching. Always. You go to the bathroom, he's there. He's out front? We don't do anything like that. We just... No, I don't mean, listen. Let me rephrase that.

We go and watch it in the bathroom. I remember Jim Norton had is Kenny. I don't know if you met Kenny. He had Kenny. Clubs owner, Kenny, who was Dice's guy. And then he went with Norton, and then when Open the Anthony ended, he now he's with Billy. And when you would do a show at Norton,

Kenny would just be in front of the bathroom. Like, what are you doing out here? He goes, Mr. Norton's going tinkle. And he was in front of the bathroom. And I was like, you can't go to the bathroom yourself? That's fucking crazy. No, he just watches when people be moving.

weird. I never knew Kevin even had people. I always just walk up on him. I don't never... Who? Kevin on. I've never knew. I've been knowing Kevin forever. I'm like, I don't never even see his people. I just be, I see him. And then I just be like, damn! And then I just go over. I don't even see them people. I don't know where he goes, but for sure, we were in Montreal at that festival, and he was like, let's go have drinks. And me him and Turee met up for drinks at a place. And we walked through a restaurant to a part of the restaurant.

being used and his dudes two at a time sitting in each doorway facing outward. He's got new people. He had like phases of people. The craziest I've ever seen was Lil J from Rapalot and Floyd Mayweather.

They had a slim thug event, the boss hog ball. And they both sit next to each other and I'm hosting and their guys are standing in front so the people behind can't see. And I had to say something. I was like, yo,

Jay, somebody's bodycars have to take off for a second because they can't see behind us. I'm like, but Floyd, you right next to Jay, just let let his detail take care of it. Just go sit your... And you in Houston,

nobody's going to do anything. We ain't going to sit down somewhere. It's not like, with bodyguards, I think some of them be overzealous because if somebody wanted to do something to somebody, depending on how bad it is, you really can't stop it. You think that you can, but Drey's never really next to me in front of me.

So you don't even know that he's with me. That's why Shadow. You don't know he whipped me until you're moving weird, and then boom, boom, then something happens. Violence. He gets off his phone and there's violence. But if I was trying to get to you, your bodyguards couldn't stop me from getting to you. It's no possible way. You're me, right?

No, anybody. Anybody's bodyguards. I'm like, yo, if I'm trying to get at you, your people are not going to stop me. It's not the CIA or like, you know, Secret Service. Yeah. It's not the Secret Service.

It's like a bunch of big linemen that didn't make it to the league. Most security for individual people is just, it's retaliation. It's the people to retaliate for you when you get hit. Something's probably going to happen to you because then at least those guys will get them.

Like, no, like I was on the plane coming, I was in LA doing some stuff, and then there was All-Star Games, and then Tracy McGrady got on the plane. Like, it's like my seat's then, his seat's right there. But he has a huge, he has a huge guy that's with him. And I think it's just for his family. But because Tracy is a thousand feet tall, like who's going to just jump on Tracy? But his guy is very big with very small legs. which lets me know that he's quick

he's agile know how to move his upper body around but he's a big guy and he's like definitely going to tackle he's like most of these defensive ends you know it's not like it's war and sap out there it's like man what man you're your knee bad

your footbed something bad on you and that's why you're not in the league because this is not this wasn't your job you wasn't six eight three 50 thing like you know what I want to do? I want to protect Bobby. Now, I'm dealing with a torn ACL, three concussions.

Keep looking at the Redskins game on your phone. Like, why you keep looking at the Redskins? It's like, yeah, that's where I wanted to be. Well, it's like when I did Rogan, I showed up an hour early because I'm an asshole. It's supposed to be there at one. I showed up at 12, and it's in this nondescript little thing, right? I've been there. And I'm just sitting like, ah, shit, I'm trying to look in the window because I don't know where it is.

And all of a sudden, the guy just, like, came out of a bush and went, Mr. Kelly. He's in a van. Yeah, it's like, he came out of nowhere. He's in a white van that you really don't know that he's in the van. I've met him four times. He's like, Mr. Kelly? And I'm like, huh? He's scared the shit out of him.

He's like, Mr. Rogan is not here. You are not supposed to for an hour. Would you like to get a cup of coffee? And then we got in the car and he's like, I have. Mr. Kelly. We're taking him to get a cafe. And then he had some cold word for like Raven for Rogan or something. Ravens taking the Camaro.

And then when they come in, it's like for the jack dudes that's with him. It got crazier. You know, it's weird when you go to Rogans. You know, it's like, but they're friendly dudes. Friendly? I mean, it's scary friendly. But you know that they know some foreign art. Crom McGraw.

They're all Croft McGraw experts, for sure. He's got a knife on him that doesn't hold DNA. Well, I said there's got to be different, because also a lot of those guys are the ones who work the club, too, and that club's great. But I said there is a weird middle. That's why I said the Austin thing between the Creek and the Cave and that. The Creek in the Cave just hires, like, fat goth-like guys

that we've been working at them all for their security. And I go, and Rogan's got guys that are like, you know, if you start shit, they're going to come down from the ceiling and cut your throat. It's like, there's got to be a gray area between fucking Navy seals that never smile or people who can't be stopped. You gotta go to the, what's that, helium. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

You gotta go to helium. Yeah, it's just some Philly girl with tattoos and an accent. Let's get the fuck out of here. No, Philly does it right. Philly's helium is pretty good. They send in person, it's like they're willing to do some of they have to, but they don't, they don't bully your fucking, they don't, oh, obviously. Helium doesn't like bully your, like, fans at all or not. Seller does it right.

You used to do it better. They used to have all, it's a Jewish club. Bobby, I disagree. They used to do it better. They used to have all Muslim dudes out front. Nation or regular. Just regular Muslims. Oh, food isla.

F-O-I. They would just grab a girl by the neck and be like, you have to leave. And they'd be like, now. And they just grab her and drag her out. Remember Hattem and all those guys? The seller is a weird thing for me. Let's not bring this up. We can do it.

You want to do it? No, let's not do it. Let's fucking do it. Let's do it. Let's talk on it. I went scorched earth on it last week. I'm not, I'm not teeing out for me. It's just the fact I remember that a comic from here,

she said, you ought to come to the cellar to get past so you can get past. I was like, what? Like, why would I come to the cellar to get past? Well, you got to get past the cellar. And I just asked, I say, what happens after you get past? When they start booking you there, I'm like, wow, oh. So I'm going to do that between being on my tour? And she's like, well, you don't want to get pants and sell her.

Not so much. You wouldn't get past. You would just get a spot. Like there is a level of like, you know, like when you come in, it's like, hey, this is, okay, yeah, you want to go on? You would just go on and do a spot. She told me about the discount. The discounts on the food. She's talking about.

You get discounts on the fries. 50% off on food. No, sorry. Hang on one second. I get full percent off. I'm grandfathered in. You are a co-owner. I know you are.

No, you would just get off as you. That's for a person who's in the city. Bobby? Hang on one second, Jay. No? No, no, no, Bobby. Let me stop you for a second, Bobby. Can you have the shadow grab him by the shoulder right now?

Stop him from talking. I know you know Dion Cole's story that happened there when he went there. And that's what's going to happen. That's what could happen to you because they don't have the club, the people, the powers to be there don't have their fingers. On the pulse of comedy. On what's going on at all. So there's a good chance that you walk in there.

Somebody relays that where they go, we should see if he wants to go on, as much as you'll get three levels in, and they'll still be going like, can I help you? Do you know what I mean? And then when you say something, be like, because Dion, I guess,

someone said they were going to get him on. Godfee or something, and they said they came back up and the club, we were like, we don't know. It's any club, though. I went to Zanis in Chicago and I knocked on the back door,

and they were like, yeah? and I was like, I was there to see Joe List. He told me to come by and do a spot. He goes, just come by, the back door. And I knocked on the door and the guy opened the door. Yeah? And I was like, I'm here to see Joe List. Yeah, the ticket thing is out there.

And I went, I'm fucking gone. I'm out. Okay. So, well, last week, we was in L.A., I went to, I said, well, you know something? I haven't been by the comedy store since I got inducted to the wall. So I was like, well, let me go. Which is being passed in a weird way. That's their thing.

I'm just go and just go and just. you know, take my little picture again and say, you know, hey, it's still on the wall because I wanted to make sure it was still on there. They took Rich Voss off, by the way. No, uh-uh. Shut up. I think so.

I think they... Shut up, dude. Well, they had to repaint new things. I got on. It was just good, so it was all I care about. Yeah, so when I went by, I do was like, can I help you? I was like, no, I just came to take a picture with my name.

Is that you? No, I was just taking random pictures I wanted to picture of Jackie Fabulous That's what I wanted to Yes sir, I'm Jackie Fabulous It was, you know, sometimes it happened I don't get past in no clubs Because they filter through these fucking people too

They don't know They don't like he said They don't have their pulse I would know though I would if I own the club I would know who people are It's just that's going to be my thing because I would love for somebody

to just drop into my club. I'm like, yo man, don't turn nobody where you run the name past the powers of being. They look it up and they look at the door. They're like, boom, bring it on here. They should. They should say that. That is a real thing.

I think the new type of clubs, like that attic club, the comics are really involved in. They know who's who. The seller that said the past thing, which same as the store. When they go through that whole thing, I went out to the comedy store, they put me through a process

of like the past thing like that. They started to. And then the guy who was doing it at the time got fired, Tommy, got fired. And then the next person who just took the reins was like a comedy fan enough, like understood that he just kind of was like, you're one

of like 15 phone calls on making the call, a few comics to be like, when you come to L.A., please just let me know you're coming. They did the same thing to me. He's like, just lets know you're coming and we'll get your spots. Like, you're past at the club. They're like, this is ridiculous. I auditioned for Tommy and I fucking murdered

and I just walked up to him. expecting. All right, man. He went, hey man, thank you for being on the journey with us here. You know, right now, you did great, but right now we're going to, let me get back to you in a few weeks. I went, hey, dude, I'm good. I'll see you later.

I'm fucking, I'm out. I don't need to be in here. But then the lady called up years later. It was like, you should be in. Oh, yeah, there's a guy on the right would just like knew me. And that's who books to mothership now, stuff. Yeah, Adam. He's great. Is it books to mothership? Adam, yeah. He's awesome.

Oh, wow. I've been there a couple of times. I've never met him. You've got to get the shadow passed by Joe's security. They have to meet first just so that you don't want them clashing at the door. Yeah, we came by, we stopped by one night and it was great. But I headlined there one time. I think they hated me. The comics hated when I came.

Why? Because I didn't do the community green room. Oh, you shut the green room down? Yes. Yeah. Like, I think I was like the first one to do it. And it was like, Roseanne want to come in. I'm like, now they're here.

It's my people here today. It's fucked up. I think it's actually a weird thing to ask it. I get why they ask it and stuff. Yeah. But again, it's almost the issue where I said the seller, as well as the comedy store and the mothership. Most comedy clubs aren't really functioning in places

where, like, people are going to come every night and you have a showcase room. So I get it when you were showcased. And me and Bobby came up at the cellar separate times, but at a time where it was like, you passed. And then it was like, once you were in there, that was my job with the comedy cellar. I went there seven nights a week

and then on weekends maybe one or two shows per night and then bouncing around all the places. The pass-fail notion when they would do it's like so-and-so is in from L.A. Do they pass here? You know, it's like somebody like

that's been working for a long time who's name you already know. It's like, just work them. Like to make them go through it, there's no prize, but people, they want to, the clubs want to feel important, but like you can pass all of that.

You can skip all those things. Well, I think to, like, when I used to host there, like guys would come in. Look, I like Reggie McFadder. But he came in one night. I was hosting. And he was like, yo, what's up? I want to do a spot.

I was like, okay, dude, ask the manager. I don't, and he was like, would you ask Chris Rock to ask the manager? I'm like, you're not even fucking closed. Are you out of your mind? The fuck is that? Am I supposed to just put him on? Because he was in an unliving color. Now he owns a gold mine in fucking Africa?

I don't fucking know. That's what I say. I go, can come in for free? And they go, no, I go, would you say that for Robert De Niro? You just say that to Bobby De Niro. I don't think you would. I don't think you would. The green room at the mothership, I've had that too.

When I had that, it's like, do you want to close one? And you feel like shit because you know all those. But then I don't smoke weed. And then I was like, no, I'll let it open. Let everybody in. And then it just became a weed den, like an opium den. And I'm just kind of hide in the corner trying not to lose my 40 years of sobriety. You know what I mean?

I just let it go. I kind of let it go. I also have no thing. I had like a weird, when I was in Fort Worth this last weekend, the host just never came in the green. Like, I was making jokes on stage by the end of I go, hey man, you should come hang in the green room. Because they, I know.

Do the club make you not, maybe? No, it's headliners. Headliners. It's headliners. Texas has a different, we have a different respect for the green room. Green room space is earned. It's not a community space. Because just think, say you hosting.

So like a Damon Wayne's. Damon sleeps between each show. but you're going to be running in out of green while this man's sleep. So until you invite him in, he's not coming in there. Because it's your space. He don't know what you want to do in there. That's what you got going on in there. And feature acts never shut the door.

They always leave and leave it open. And when they come in, they leave it open. It's something about walking in there and somebody else has already tried to make their home in a space where, you know, and I have food out. I have food out. Sit in a good corner chair. Yeah. breathing all over my food.

You got your girlfriend in here. He's like, what's going on, man? Get out of here. That's the worst. When you come in and they're sitting in the most comfortable chair with their feet up. I forget. Maybe it was Syracuse or something a couple years back. I don't think there's people are even there anymore who worked there. But one of them, Syracuse, I think funny about the manager and other comics were playing

video games in the green room. And that's not a big green room. And not offering for me to play. They were just doing it. They're like, dude, right now me versus you in this thing and they just started playing a game. And I'm like, I guess I'll be on my phone. over here. And that's a nice, that's a night,

I like that club in the mall. Sure. And it's right, the green room was nice, but you got to go in there. You got to get in and go in there unless you go in. If you get caught in that hallway. Oh, you're just in that now. Now it's fans just talking to you buying you

drink, come on, budd me. Now you're meeting people. You're like, oh, man, I should have gotten this green room. So, but it's a cold. And I forgot the code one time. And I was just sitting there. Yeah, I saw this lady coming I'm like ah and then she's like she caught me the door code oh that's that's that fourth worth that you get through you have to walk through the whole people and you go okay and you

go it's five three two two or five I'm like come on man you try and it keeps going red you're like I keep looking over to him because I had a stupid thing it's only and you hope some waiter comes around the corner oh you can't get in you like you see I can't get in and then you in you like man just watching you yeah oh What would you have in Fort Worth? Damn it. It's so funny. What club in Fort Worth?

Hienas? Okay. All right, yeah. Good club. I said I had to say something on stage because it's built weird. Like where the green room is and the stuff and the doors. I said those swinging doors. It was just, if you help the girls, the waiters, or the servers, by opening the door from, you're blocking them at the same time.

So you just sit there waiting and go on and staring at girls holding three trays opening doors by themselves. Because you're like, I do want to help, but I'm going to say. slow you down if I do it. These doors are bad. Rick Bronson's house in Minnesota. That green room is... I don't even know

you at. You don't know what's happening because the green room is so far away from everything. You're like, hey, did the show start? No, the show was almost over. Oh, because it's a closet for a Burlington Coat factory next door. It's not the fucking real green room. I was there when it was just in the hallway in front of the

walk-in freezer and every once in a while You just see some Mexican dude walk by with buckets of shit. That's right. And just walk into a freezer. I saw that's the club where I saw the guy. Like, they also leave you right by the staff. So you hear them melting down about the audience in there too. I saw a guy lose it one time.

Like managers and the things like knocking shit over. He was freaking out. The one in Canada, the Rick Bronson does in Canada. Comic strip. Comics. Oh, man. They are, they, you're in the, your green room is the same where the weight stuff. They have lockers.

They have lockers. They, yeah, it's crazy. They have, I went in there, the staff were coming in and getting shit out of lockers. You can't get fries because you see them holding their shoes in their hand with no gloves on. You're like, nah, I don't want no fries, I'm cool. And then the one that's in Phoenix, the one in Arizona. To stay on Edmonton though, Edmonton also has the condo that is hilarious on a few of your company. But if you don't do the condo, they put you in a, uh, the hotel where,

it's like you're Eskimo fucking in an igloo or a jungle theme or something. Do the condo. I've done it a bunch. Because the condo is way better. They got a nice little fireplace in there. That condo is nice. They don't clean. They don't.

I'm fine. I cleaned it when I got this. What the fuck, man. I'm black, man. I'm a clean. I don't like showing up when there's other people's condiments in the fridge. I don't want to see Joderos's mustard from his hot. I cleaned every

I bought chemicals first Why he went to the room I was like we started by this store I am I need pinesaw bleach I need it all because I'm not But no The one who had the worst condo We were talking about worst condos

It's in Tampa I think Was it Tampa? Which club? Side Splitters? No, Tampa Impro. Did they have a con? Oh

did have a condo. I stayed at the little shitty hotel there, but there was a condo. When I brought Shane with me down there, Shane stayed in the condo. Wow. Oh, man. It's bad. It's bad. It's a two-roamer. It's a two-bedroom, but it's bad. And then they give you

a Lincoln Town car. What do you have to do detective work that? What's the one we met? We was in Indianapolis. Crackers. No, yeah. They had a, was we in a condo or just a terrible hotel? It was a bad hotel. Yeah, I think that was a bad hotel.

Yeah. Where I think your door goes to the outside. That's not a good thing in Indianapolis. In Florida, that's kind of how hotels are. Well, it's Appleton, Wisconsin, you know that club? Sure. Skyline. That condo was so bad.

They put the, I was middling at the time for Kevin Meaney. he was at the beautiful hotel down the street I'm in this with the MC I brought my Sony PlayStation at the time and I got there first I hooked up my point at Sony PlayStation and I went out for lunch and I was walking around this shit town

I came back the middle guy was there and he had my Sony PlayStation in his room he took I go what the fuck it was so crazy to me that my anger turned into like I paralyzed me like I just went What the fuck are you doing?

He went, oh, man, you weren't around, so I thought I'd just play some games. Is that cool? And I just went, no. You think that's bad, Bobby? What? You think that's bad? Yeah.

Or your PlayStation? Okay, borrow your PlayStation. Okay, Bobby. I'm going to go with that one. Do you know who Gary Mickey is? I heard the name. Gary Mickey is a way past middle age, white guy that was booking comedy,

and he would book you. you and then he would middle for you. And we're staying in the same condo. And literally, I leave, and he had been raving about this pizza, this, this brick house pizza is one of the greatest pizzas

of all the time. So he leaves the club before me, because I'm at the club, selling merchandise, whatever. I get to the club. He has some I don't know some white lady who was very very much past her prime

it's like a wreck bus and he is going in in the liver room the comment area and he has pizza on her back and he's like yeah

and I walk in I'm like this is the worst porn this is terrible man It's terrible. And I didn't even go on my room

because this wasn't one of these things you could just go in your room and just close it or no. No, this was a wild animal attacking each other. And they were both drunk and it's like, and they was eating pizza together.

No, a slice of pieces on this lady's back. And I was like, yeah, this is gross, man. I'm gonna say, yeah, that's worse than him taking my... I'm gonna call that getting apologized. He took my virginity highs. I stood.

It's so funny. I stayed. My worst condo I did was Christina got me booked when we first started dating at the comedy cabana in Louisville, Kentucky. Comedy Caravan, right.

And Newport News, Virginia. Oh, no, no. Two different places. Newport News was Cossies. No, this was, what did I just say? Comedy Caravan in Louisville. Yeah, Louville. So the condo, it wasn't a condo.

It was like the first floor of a old, I mean, haunted house, essentially. And I was staying there with the feature and the host. And there's like three bedrooms. A very old, shitty, shitty house.

I took the room, hooked up my Xbox, and I just remember the feelings of it. I used to listen to Ron and Fez was a radio show. Now that's Beddington, but it used to be Ron and Fez, when Fez was alive. And I listened that all the time while I played video games on the road, you know, killing

time and I remember looking at I'm on this bed the bed was like so it was just springs basically and rips all in the sheets and just it was not clean it was not taking kids place was such a dump and I'm listening to the you know I'm listening to Ronne Fitt's playing video games and they were doing a bit about comics like who's the who do you think is the staff they're asking who's the comics to watch and their intern was a young kid at the time goes oh this person this one this one that one. And Ron Bennington goes, you don't say our old friend Big J. You don't think Big J. don't think Big J is going to pop soon? And he goes,

I mean, he's just been around for a long time. So I feel like if he was going to pop, it probably already would have happened. And it's just like when you look at it, you hear that. I'm just trying to entertain myself, listen to the radio. It's like, he just shits on me. I'm looking at your ripped sheets. He just sucked. Yeah, everything just sucked. I was like, you could hear the other guy's talking. Absolutely. Nobody was impressed with me. I think one of them is wondering why I got the biggest room Like why he got the biggest one in the one in Edmonton

I was so disgusted that I was that that that I found egg on the spatula I just didn't like that So Joe de Rosa was standing there the week after me So for the four nights I was there Or three nights I was there I slept naked in the bed I did whatever I do Gross gross

I slept naked in the bed Did whatever I did and then before I left I took my socks. I didn't change my socks all weekend. I wore the same socks. I took those socks. And I put them inside of the pillowcase on the backside. And I made the bed perfectly.

I cleaned everything up. So it was perfect. And he went there the next week. And I go, ask him if they clean the condo. And he asked the, he goes, yeah, they fucking have a made. They clean it. I go, cool. Go in the bedroom.

And he goes, I go, take the pillowcase off the pillow. And he goes, all you hear is, what the fuck? I go, those are my socks. Sox, stupid. I've been naked in that bed all week doing terrible things to my penis. Enjoy your weekend. I think the first time I did Edmonton, the first time I did Edmonton, the first time I did Edmonton, I can't remember his name, was a Canadian comic.

I think he was featuring for me, substantially older than me, which always makes for an uncomfortable situation when it's been your younger and like an older person's is a featuring for you. And he brought his big fake-titted girlfriend for the entire weekend and just like, She would walk around the apartment, like, you know, in like a little short. It was just so weird. They went out to lunch at one point, and I went through his computer. Found the Nudes.

What? You did? Yeah, I was sitting out. It's my condo, dude. I'm letting you fuck her here. Yeah. I went through his computer and found the nudes. Look at watching the door.

That's worse than using my Sony PlayStation. You know what? I was going to say watching the door and I was going to be like, no, I don't think I was like, I guarantee. It was so long about guarantee. I was like, fuck. Like a action movie. You're trying to download the files?

But I had long enough time to start thinking that he's using codes. You know, it's like TV show ideas. Like, that's pussy for sure. You click it. It goes, man, just a bunch of shitty Canadian TV show ideas. Chopin wood. Do something with that. This is a show idea.

We were rich and then we lost all our money. We bought a motel in a small town. It was Schitts Creek. What's up with the medal? I'm a hero, dude. I didn't want to say, I don't want to say anything. You did want to say something. You definitely wanted to say something.

You've been waived with me to ask about this medal the whole time. Do you want me to tell your legend, or do you want to tell your story? He didn't even have it on at first when I came in. He put it on once I sat down. He was like, I looked at the metal. I'm like, oh, he's just in the box. Sometimes. I'm going to let you. Sometimes.

Because I'm humble. I would like that, Jay. I think Bobby... I'm humble, but I have on a medal. I think that Bobby feels when you come in here that you see through his facade and can tell that you have an outside

belief he doesn't like black people. I get to see you feel that way when you see Bobby. It's not true. You look at Bobby and you go, it doesn't even care about black people. That's not true, is it? You have a black hat on.

Yeah, for sure. God damn right. Yeah, but he thinks black people took that from the Irish gangs of Boston. So it's like that kind of thing. I mean, historically, they did Take it from the Irish Kings of Boston. Absolutely.

It's called a peaky blinder hat. But Bobby went to Costa Rica with his family recently and when they went to... It wasn't a sporting event. What side, Bobby? We went to the Tamaranda side. Gave side. The, what is it, the west side?

West side. The west side? I don't know how to travel like that. The Pacific side is what you ask. Not the Gulf, or the Caribbean side. Well, why Bobby loves Blaseless, people. The Pacific Ocean doesn't because it was swallowing this little girl

and Bobby and she was yelling out for her sister. He's so serious right now. He definitely wants me to know this dog girl. Oh, I'm locked in right now. I'm locked in. No. Bobby! Are you thinking I'm going to hug you after this?

Go ahead. Let me hear this story. Or shadow might give me a hug. I mean, somebody. He's just sitting there like, yeah, you're going to be impressed. Go, Jay, continue. Then Bobby, she was yelling, and then Bobby came across her sister on the beach

who said, please, please help my sister is stuck and she's drowning. Bobby sprung into action, despite all what you see as probably not a strong swimmer, this guy propelled through the water, fighting current to go pull the, and you said as you got to the girl, current was strong, pulling out.

He grabbed her. He pulled her across the sea to safety to be then fully thanked by her gigantic black father. If you're wondering, he doesn't know how to swim and he wasn't jumping in for his own daughter. Actually, he did come in, grabbed her hand, and then went under. It was over above his head and he let go over his daughter. And I was like, what the fuck are you doing? And he couldn't swim. So Bobby saved a little black girl.

He saved her. I just said, Bobby, I want to just really be into this. You can't. Save her. You will. You'll be into it. You'll be into it when she's in American Idol singing one day. And Bobby, her angel, is side stage going like,

every day was a gift. Every day. Every day was a gift. Ali Sadeek is playing the New Jersey Performing Arts Center. Hang on, he wants to shake my hand. Photo op. Thank you, Bobby, for saving my people. February.

The New Jersey Performing Arts Center in Newark, New Jersey, this Friday, February 20th. Then the Marion Anderson Hall in Philly on Saturday, February 21st. That is this week, and everybody. Do not miss him live. We can get all tickets and tour dates at Ali-S-I-L-I-D-D-I-Q.com.