The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Vos Cookout Complaints

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

The legend Rich Vos had a bbq at his home and invited many comedian friends. Two of those comedians were Big Jay and Bobby. They had a few critiques about the food. The quantity and timing of the cuisine was a little off and Bob insists that he does a much better job at the grill. They had issues with the deejay who did shtick in the middle of the event. Jay actually purchased a bike from Rich and Bob walked away with a new golf club. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. When the bullet hit the bone. Damn, dude, this is white guy, bite your lip rock. Get on me, Lou. Bullet hit the bone. This is the part I like. Really? When all the music goes away, what do they call that?

The dropout? I don't know, something. There's a name for it. Well, back to the verses, versus the chorus. I don't think that's it The middle six There you go I like the middle six

Is that what it's called? So doesn't Don Someone's listening to a lot Eddie better talking about some shit Donn like that is great at the middle six Don likes the middle six I'll get that joke out I'll fucking step on both of you fuck faces

To get that joke out You walked right over my thing I'm talking about the TV When I was in the middle of Holding everyone's court About a thing I was watching Jay It sent me into my head drop

My head dropped I don't allow you to hold court with me I was telling you guys You guys haven't seen yet. Now, when you're around Jim, I let you do your thing. I, like, kind of step back. Like, Lancelot and your King Arthur talking to Guinevere. That's not true.

I just sit back and then you give me directions and I'll go fight your war for you. No, Jim turn the TV on and then you went over to Jim. You started sucking up to Jim. No, I swear to God. Why is this so fucking weird? I didn't know we, I've never seen that TV in my life. That it exists? I do.

It's just. It's never on. I know. but I've never noticed it until he actually put something on it and I was like we have a TV right there that would be so easy to look at instead of Instead of me doing this so Lou turning the computer out I could just look right there At some point in the time we've been in the studio they put that serious the gray thing that goes across I didn't they're like oh yeah that only changed like a few months ago or something like oh I guess I would have said that's how it looked I know they fogged out the windows so we can't show people's pornography while they're doing another interview

I have to assume we were somehow part of the fogged out windows. I'd like to believe that. Howard's in his own wing. Doesn't matter what happens over there. Oh, and A, I don't know how. They didn't have fog windows. They got curtains. They have curtains.

They have curtains. They literally put theater curtains up for those scumbags. They're not going to curtain off. They didn't curtain us off. They just fog this in so we can't, we don't even have the option. If we're not being filthy to see things. Yeah. We have commented on every single show that's ever been next door to us.

Well, the one, my favorite one was when we just mouth the words. We filmed John Fugel saying in his guest, and we just mouth what they would be saying. We just each picked a person. I think it was me and Soda picked a person. We just chose what we're going to say. And it played on radio somehow. It was fantastic. Is that why we get weird helloes from him now?

Yes. Do me favor, Luke, crank this up to 15 and then get to the fucking good part, please. When a bullet hits a bone, ha-ha. That's everyone's favorite part. I like the middle six. I know you like the middle six. I like when everything drops out. But if you were driving, the satisfaction of this ending is so much.

It is a good song. I haven't heard the song on a long time. It may make you start the song over if you're doing a long drive. Do you know listening to the same song over and over again is the form of ADHD? Is it? Yeah, if you listen to the same song over and over again like I did with jelly roll, you have ADHD. I do that on my way to work a lot. I do that too.

I did it today. You have ADHD. I mean, for sure. Huh? What? You've got to have some sort of ADD. Oh, you got something. Well, I got to be doing something.

You got something. You got something. You got something. Well, it's so funny. I complain about people on their phone because in my mind, they're doing, like, social media and stuff, like when we're talking. Yeah. I hate that.

But when I'm in my phone, it's so not, it's crosswords. All my Zen games. Crosswords. A little. the thing you see the ads for where your little guys like shoot this way and that way and they pick up five more guys and lose two guys oh shit back it up Loeb

you made me talk right over my part I got sober into my phone games don't blame me if you're ADHD blame Christine I'm gonna nod at when the bullet hit the bar on it's still got a minute left you want to go behind this? Yes I love blaming chicks with stuff I blame Dawn for everything I know and Sonny you make it up

like the parking lot guys he said Don stole your keys that never happens. That's why you can't have fun of women because they're rats. They remember everything. It was a whole theatrical performance to the parking lot.

I am a thesbian. Women do remember everything. Except how they acted when you first met them. Yeah. Do you want to get a blackout? I would take the excitement. You want to get a blackout direct?

I would take the excitement. Just look over. Christine pulled that up, but she's just leaning on the microphone. Turn it up, Lou. Uh-huh. When the bullet hit the bone. Come on, Bobby, your air guitar

on your car, you're thinking about maybe jerking off. Bone. Uh-huh. When the bullet hits the bone. Doing it. It's the bone. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. A bullet hit the bone. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Do I even matter. Uh-huh. When the bullet hits the bone. Yeah. Do I get a murder. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Bob, boom. Jacob. That's fixing a car in your garage music right there. You don't know about that music. Because he has no garage. You listen to Oasis and a bunch of stuff. Finger your own butthole while you look at yourself in a mirror.

I have a full shop in my garage in Florida. Where do you put your shit here? Do you have like a little basement hut inside the basement of the building? I don't have a basement. You can't understand this kind of music, Jacob, because you don't have a garage. I wouldn't be. I wouldn't dare go. into the basement of my building.

You can only listen to this song when you're in a garage or your pickup. That's when you know you've got a good building when you can go in the basement and not be attacked by things. Yeah. When the bullet hits the bone, ma-huh. We went to,

I think we went to Vos's barbecue. I made you go. Oh, yeah, yeah, let's talk about that. I made you go. No. Well, I was like, you have to go. I would have overlooked the entire thing, like invitation and everything.

Like everybody else did. Like it turns out everybody else in the world did, except me. And Bobby, but Bobby, you know, in the air said he couldn't go. We found out that Colin hates Voss. No, Colin? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'm going to take that back. No, he still hate him.

He stayed at him. Yeah, Norton was in, where the fuck was he? Anywhere else. St. Louis. Sure. St. Louis was out of town. I love Norton's new vlogging he's doing. He's being an influencer.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you probably do like that. He's going around saying, I heard this was the most dangerous city in the country. Let's find out. Let's go watch. Yeah. Just cuts to him at Starbucks.

I assume he's just going around to all the pride parades. He doesn't want to tell us that he's the grand marshal of all pride parades. I love that Norton is 13 years behind technology, and then when he discovers it. He tells people like he, it's the greatest thing ever. Oh, yeah. He calls it vlogging. I'm vlogging now. He goes, I was like to tell you, but the stuff.

little thing called the Starbucks app. Like you can order ahead of time and just show, it's like, what? He just figured that out? Yeah, well, you never know. I think so. He just found out about the subway three years ago. He goes, you know, the subway's really fast.

No shit. Yeah, we showed up. First of all, Voss lives too far away, dude. It's just, it's an hour. I'm going to make a complaint about that, but when I saw Voss, when I asked him about that, he's happy almost because of it. Voss isn't like doing spots in the city every night anymore.

He's staying back, spending that fucking Bonzie cash. The old. That old fucking Bonanza. Spending Bonanza. That little skateboard kid. Yeah. What the fuck is going on with Bonnie guys? Every barbecue, she turns more into a young skateboard boy.

Yeah. Every, I mean, last time I was there, she looked like she was solving crimes in Florida. Yeah. She was the captain of a dinghy. Yeah, yesterday I showed up. I'm like, I didn't even notice her for like 20 minutes. I thought it was just one of Voss's daughter's friends. Yeah.

And then she sat down. I thought she was Teneal. Yeah, dude. From Captain and Teneal. She just looks like a fucking, a dude you'd see at a skate park. Yeah. We called her Blues Clues. She's actually taking skateboard lessons.

Is she? Yeah. I believe that. She told me yesterday, she goes, I go, she goes, I'm skateboarding now. I go, we go, we're. Well, okay, that explains a lot. Well, I get the thing. No, it's, I understand.

You don't understand this yet because your son is still young. Raina, their daughter is off in college right now. And so Bonnie's like, yeah, just fucking live fast, dude. Fucking go for it. That's what I do. I've upped my smoking. Now that I'm like, I'm like, Isabelle's fine. If I die, she'll get some cash.

Yeah, but I just, it's like if Dawn came to me and she was wearing a baseball cap backwards, and one of my oversized t-shirts and some ripped jeans and some flat little converse. She's called her Chief. What's up, Chief? And she's like, I go, where are you going? She goes, going to the park. I'm going to do a little drop-ins. I'm going to go do some skateboard.

I'd fucking leave her. Really? I'd walk away from her. She's going to hit the fucking half-pipe? No, I'd fucking, I don't want to, I don't want a young old wife. I understand. You only respect street skating. You're not avert guy.

Okay. I understand that. She's dropping in, and you want to see, you like a street skate, you want to see a girl grind rail. You don't want to see her fucking hitting fucking 720s off the pipe. Is that a real thing? Look that up, Jacob, 720? I don't want to have to go pick her up at the park because she hurt her knee. I'd love that.

And a bunch of young puncture around her, giving her high fives. There you go. There's Dawn. Oh, my God. Hell yeah. Yeah. So Bonnie's taking, I mean, God bless her, I guess. I mean, you've got to get away from boss somehow.

I can be honest. Skateboarding is a great way to go. Sure. I got to be honest with you. And I think this is very, very woke of me. I am blown away when a woman can do anything. We're watching videos of women skateboarding here. I am blown away when they can do it. And when I see it, I'm very impressed.

I go, oh my God, I thought you can't do anything, I assumed. Well, they can do a lot of things. They can handle bills good. They can organize well. A clerical work. But that's my assumption. That's what they're bred for. I mean, you...

That's why they have those fucking rations. National cells in their brain. They can call people good. They're really good at calling people. I'll call somebody. Yeah. What is the extra ankle bone we say black people have that women have that make them good at those things? We've always said that we're not good at those things like slam dunking basketballs and I guess anything else athletic because we're at a disadvantage because black people were given this gift of an extra bone that apparently has everything you need in it to slam dunk a basketball.

Black Lou's never slammed like a basketball. I'll tell you this, he touched rim before. He got up. He got up and up. There was a point in Black Lou's life where he was going to touch that rim. So when you comes to gym class and everybody's doing the running

and seeing what you can grab on the slap the net or anything, you had to make sure. I don't think Blue touched the rim. That's why he had to marry a white girl. He touched it. He touched that rim. I was like, you touched the rim?

Absolutely, he touched that rim. How? He couldn't grab it? He couldn't anything. He went up and he'd tap it. That's as close as I got, though. Like a fingernail? Yes.

Yes, absolutely. We're talking about basketball. There's a rim where the thing goes in, Jacob, and that's what he touched. Jacob, that's the thing that people would give you wedgies and then stick you in. Basketball hoop? Dude, yeah, Voss is here? I don't, look, but he lives in Amish country. It's like fields.

He's happy because he said there's a bunch of golf courses around and I think, you know, Bonnie's writing jobs and stuff all the time. So I don't know how much they're in the city or anything and whatever, but they are, I mean, it's weird. It was almost 20 miles not on the highway. That's the worst part. When you live out of the city, like you, you live out of the city, but you're only 10 minutes off the highway. Not even.

Yeah, I'm literally five minutes off the highway. So you go up the highway, you take a right, you take a left, you're at my house. I'm right there. Same thing with him. But Voss, it's 25 minutes off the highway through farmland, and then you have to take a left. that used to be farmland. Comes about nowhere, the subdivision. Nowhere.

And it's some weird white-knit, Whitlock Manor. I don't know what it is. Let's give their address. I just made that up. Yeah. It's like the third house on the right. It's actually the first house on the right. I mean, beautiful house, though. Beautiful.

Sick house. Yeah. They have a swinging door that goes between dining room and kitchen. A swinging door, Jacob. Yeah, it's a really nice. It's like a great late 90s house. like Jay's house is a great Otts house like it's all

Yeah it's all modern This is a house It's like good like listening like to Goo Goo Dolls or something Yeah yeah Yeah like you can hang posters on the wall in this house With nails Yeah you can do nails You don't have to like get it professionally done

Vosses Which by the way he's so happy Again Voss is such a guy When you do see him like just happy And he's like proud of the house It was really nice to see And he takes you in that room That Victorian room

It's Maybe one of my favorite things though that happened there. But I'm glad we just brought this up because I think somehow I forgot this. He's going on everybody laughs, but I go to these estate sales. And I got my friend who's here, who's got an app that you can appraise things. You take a picture of them. So you go to these estate sales and you get these things. He goes, I bought this for $500. He goes, it's like $35,000 now. $35,000. And I just accepted that. And then he calls the friend. with the phone

do you have your phone on you? He's there at the party this friend also he goes you have your phone on you he goes it's in my car I'll grab it and he comes back and he goes I want to see again how much that picture costs right there

$1,500 now it was a great buy because it's worth more than he bought for it you still gotta find a buyer who's not whatever but everything

he was the funniest thing he was like 35K I go well then dude this room is a brilliant idea now But it just turned back into something that you're like, you know, you just like it.

You know what I can't wait? I can't wait until he grabs his chest. And that week, Bonnie just dumps all that shit on the lawn. Oh, my God. And people get it for nothing. Yeah. That whole room is going to be sold for pennies on the dollar. She should have his dumb paintings patchwork together to make his coffin.

Just speaking of a coffin. No, she should give one away to all his friends, like hats, like for Patrice O'Neill. We should all get a stupid 17th century Italian. in Victorian painting. Dude, watching Vosto, like, explain the art that he admires. He's like, I like it. I like this one here. It's like a family in a field.

It just is. It's just like some chick in a hot dress in a field. And by the way, it's like, when the guy hits the thing, like, again, you think he's going to say any name he recognized? He goes, well, it's, you know, Frank Pickens. It's a Frank Pickens original.

Frank Pickens was still alive. By the way, no, that's almost a funnier thing, how not valuable they were. Because he's like, oh, it's a Frank Pickens. 1863. It's from some crazy long ago time still, and it's still only worth $1,500. I got a call from Keith today.

Well, he had a DJ. Let's keep going through what's going on. He had a DJ. He didn't have a DJ. His DJ was 70. He had a friend. It was his friend who's a DJ. Was he though?

Yeah. Well, he didn't treat him as a friend. It was the saddest, literally the saddest thing I've seen at any party in my life. I was leaving and I'm looking out the, he has like a three-season room where you go in. I look out and everybody was on this side of the party on the back lawn over here to the right of the pool. Have talking, playing cornhole, having a great time. And then you look at this friend of his sitting under a tent with all the DJ equipment. by himself.

By himself. Like Voss never told him he could come over. Maybe be on the lawn. Maybe set up on the lawn. Or maybe just hit a button on Spotify. Hang out. And just hang out. I don't know why you need a fucking DJ.

Nobody's dancing. Maybe he doesn't pay for no ads. He'd have been embarrassed instead of just going like, yeah, you could have just hit Yacht Rock on Spotify. You could just get an iPhone and a Bluetooth speaker and fucking hit a button and sat back and enjoyed your life. He would have made out better to do that. then have this guy.

This guy was, and then they called everybody shortly after I got there. They called everybody over to the pool area for the toast. And so we all went over for a toast. Nobody was given anything to toast. There was no toast. Then I tell you how much I don't think the DJ is his good friend because he kept referring to Rich as Richard, which I didn't like it all. And he wasn't being funny.

He's like, it's Richard's birthday and his daughter's birthday. You know, and he's going through the whole thing. we all sing Happy birthday to Richard and his daughter's name We had to get that right What a daughter's name? Yeah I know her name but are we supposed to say it

Does he say his daughter's name? No, I didn't say it That's why I didn't say it I'm sure it doesn't matter really I think she's 40 she's 40 she's fine Yeah she's all right She's got a fucking beamer She's doing well

She's got a beamer and a family Yeah her husband's killing it Um So yeah so And then he goes We sing happy birthday And then we're all like all right, back to the party.

And then the DJ's like, hang on, Rich. We got a special surprise for you. And then he plays at an extraordinary low, unhearable volume. An old prank that was played on Rich where, like, someone called him and was telling him, like, calling him a bitch or something. And he just kind of argued with him back. And then it just ended.

And it was like, okay, everybody back to doing what you were doing. And now we all fucking have musical chaired so that broke the hang-up. We had a goody going. We had a good hang-up going and then hangout. And then Josh fucking. uh shang hide uh lu and his girlfriend over out on the grass so they were pulled away from the fucking fun of the action listen not nothing against josh i love josh but when he was that when he came

out of the house it was shocking what do you mean came out of house he can't i was like you how did you like you like you like you if you told me there was an outside shot if you told me there was an outside shot that they didn't know josh I would have said, oh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess he could see that. It's not part of the, and then Josh walks out by himself, and then the first thing out of his mouth, he explained, everything, goes, when's Jay showing up?

I was like, I got it now. He's not rent a car. I got to rent a car. Do you tell you about his deal? Car rental deal? No, he was talking to us about his creative addiction. Oh, man. Can I tell you what he said?

I know all about it. Can I tell you what he said to me, which blew me away? He said to me, you kind of, you've been a, you've been a, You kind of, you know, you and Jay, he's been inspiring you, like, fashion-wise. I went, what? He said that about you? To me. That's fucking crazy, man.

He goes, I go, what the fuck are you talking about? That's fucking crazy. You know, you're wearing, you know, first of all, I was so like, what the fuck? Please give me his examples. He said, you know, you wearing nice sneakers. I go, I wear Hokas, on clouds, and new balance. You got some nice. You got a couple of jeans, but I don't wear them every day.

I wear them if I like I have a show maybe, but mostly I'm wearing comfortable old guys shoes. You have, but you have nice sneakers. But I don't think that was. And then. I don't think I'm known as a nice sneaker guy. He goes, I say you have your definitive fashion and you dress well. I dress the way I dress now. Well, I say that you, like I love.

you know, I have a sling bag, but I've always, I have 55 sling bags. I've always had a slug. I'm a bag, I'm a bag slut. What's that, bagslot? Hang on, what's that I getting bag sluts. No, I'm not a bag slut,

but I also have carried the bag for a while because I don't like having things in my pockets. It was a solution, and I think Christine ultimately suggested this is an option. I'm not going to wear a fucking fanny pack and I'm not a backpack guy. I've always been a... So she suggested like this thing,

And I was like, oh, that does work. I don't mind carrying it. I'm a bag slut for years. I have so many bags. Nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with you. I probably more inspired by you on bags in general, getting a shit. I said, I go, what are you talking about?

I go, what the fuck? I go, what do you, look at you. Oh, maybe he was in your sunglasses reflection. You know, he has been yourself. You probably confused him when he started answering. Jay, sometimes you just need the science. Yeah, you probably saw his reflection of you and his reflection of him in the same sunglasses as you that he buys.

Fucking mind-boggling to me that he would have the balls to say that to me. Well, do you think it's interesting to say that he thinks that you're inspiring his style? And I think it's a funny thing. Like, I would say, I think he's inspired by your style to some degree with the glasses and stuff. So. I think he's inspired by you. No, I think he's trying. I think he's happy I'm losing weight so he could take my skin.

I looked over yesterday His fingernails were painted And I go Hey what's up with the nails And he was like Nah, just this is what I do I like it It looks sky

I was like He came in He came into the green room At the stand on Friday By the way he's feeling I feel bad way to tell you stories I can't tell you Friday In the green room

We had a blast He was really making me laugh a lot Yeah Making fun of Rob Zompy again It was very fun We had a good time that day But when he first walked in it's so it's not even in my character to be this like right out of the gates it's gonna be

like well it was jarring a bit i so you walked in i saw he had pink fingernails and again nothing i do am i like this is my thing there's 50 000 guys who fucking paint their fingernails in the world no probably just in new york city if not more probably you're the only one in our fucking believe me you're the only guy in our group that paints their fingernails yeah yeah You're the only You're the only they-them in our group That paints their fingernails There's only room for one

It's too many bathrooms We got to put everywhere We only have room for one So What do you came in? I was like, dude Are you single white femaleing me slowly? And he goes, what?

That's the best part of me is when he goes What do you mean? I go, well, do you know what the reference is? Well, then you know what I mean? Well, I'd fuck me I'd fuck me Oh, and I'm scared to Oh, good by horses

How dare you say that to me That I am somehow being influenced by fucking Jay His fingernails painted, his hairs died And he got nose rings Yeah No, the nose rings? Yeah

He's had nose rings for a while now But I was like I didn't see him And the glasses And Bobby glasses I got these glasses, the big glasses, and I got so much shit. I was the first one that was like coming out of the closet in the late fucking 80s. I got so much shit for wearing these type of glasses still do, by the way.

Those you vulcan glasses? Yeah, then my fucking glasses. And now everybody fucking wears cool fucking shades. If he says, if he, if he's willing to full on commit to this, this idea, I'll lean into it more. And we can go like, bust the rhymes and split. star where he wears little tiny little tiny outfits that I'm wearing like with slight variations but like his little tiny outfits of my little outfits and then when I tell my jokes he can come out and be like oh yeah 2046 y'all 2046 bring up some splits bar there before looking them look at them

little outfits together do that's what I want to do with them you have to get alfist for skank fest me and Josh every day just new little alfus together yeah I'll do it oh he'll do it Look at that. You see, I mean, little slight variations, a little tiny outfits of the same outfit? Yeah, dude. Yes, exactly what I mean. I mean, it's close right now. Right.

We're all so close. All we got to do is get our outfits right. Tell you what, though, yesterday I touched his, he was in the thing, and I put my hand on Josh's stomach. The kid's fucking. Oh, he's jacked. It's like cement. It made me angry. Like, because I'm, the only that.

He has no love. He just exercise. Is if I get surgery. I would have to get a $20,000 surgery to even get like that. And three months after the surgery, I'd be chubby again. Like it'd be gone. Yeah. He is.

I mean, he's a fucking chimpanzee. Yeah. He's a chimp. Yeah. What's what happens when you have no one to love? When you get no love, you get fucking great shape. Lou told me that you cornered him and Ila under a tree for an hour and talked to him. Crater.

Didn't get a word in. I did not get a word in. But that being said, I love him and I'd love hearing it. It was a constant talking. Look at him, he showed up and he immediately. He just sat there eating, uh, eating his girlfriend's, uh, key lime, key lime cheesecake. I'm sorry. He had to just keep eating pieces of it.

I felt bad about that because Don brought her blueberry crumble, which... It killed. It really killed. But can I say something? No, let me say something, what you guys did. And I know, I don't think it's either you or your girlfriend or mine, for that matters, uh, like the way you'd go about something. Bobby was smart. And Dawn also, like, seeing that, when you see there's food there, a lot of food I use with quotes.

When you see there's a lot of options and choices there. I didn't get blueberry crumble. It was brought to me. It was like Dawn's going, they were making sure that her thing made the rounds. I saw yours. I didn't know where it was. I just saw it on your plate only. I never saw where it was.

Yeah, you guys, what you did, you let it sit there. You can't let a dessert sit. You got to go, yo, try this. and then once one, two people try it. And some word spreads. Then the word spread. And you can't, first of all, you can't fuck with the blueberry. The blueberry is the king.

It's unreal. A key lime cheesecake, though, is a little out of left field, so it's interesting. A little out of left field, but it's like when you see, you see yellow and purple, you go in purple. You know what I mean? It's a little unfair. I didn't know it was key lime. At first I thought it was chive cheesecake because there was little pieces of, but I guess it was lime. I think it's lime zest.

But I thought it was, I was like, is that chive cheesecake? That doesn't look good. Yeah. It was less dessert and more sustenance. But it looked delicious. I never found it. I'll tell you right now, I hate, I hate, I hate, key lime anything.

I fucking hate it. And I wound up taking a bite of it when I found out. It was loose girls. I'm going to take a bite, check it out. Fucking fantastic. Yeah, she's a good cook. Very fantastic. Purchase the groceries for this one.

I'm going to tell you this. 100% Voss. Was it? Because I got to say, even I, I only had one thing to eat, like, as far as food, food goes. Actually, too, I had a couple of bites. There was a buffalo chicken dip in there. That was fantastic. Fantastic.

And then. I'm just not, I'm not going into a bowl that has been, it looked like a dog's ate it. But that's fault of us when we get there. We showed up at the perfect time. But if you're not there. Two hours late. Yes. But if you're not there, you get there a little late, you can't be mad about.

food being not what it was. Can I just make a suggestion being fucking probably the king of barbecues for a long time? You slow roll it out. You slow roll it out. You put a little bowl out and then if it's devoured, you put some more out. You don't just, you don't put a, that was that bowl, they just. You just made Christine proud, I think. Am I right? You put a little bit out and then you put more out when it's gone. You don't put the whole fucking thing out in the biggest bowl, because now everybody's double dipping. Everybody's, first of all, everybody's starving. Well, I think what happened, also when we got there, I think the thing was, that move was done too

cook all hot dogs at once so when I got there and I was like do you want anything it was like well it's going to be cooked but all I had was I grabbed like a loose hot dog really to eat a hot dog and I was gonna say again and as a Voss I'd like to know what the choice was on the hot dog

it wasn't there was a bad hot dog it tasted like a very school hot dog I'm gonna tell you what he did Jacob when there's when there's Sabretti's out there there's Hebrew Nashes he got he got when I When I do my parties, we get hamburger and we make the patties.

Or you can go to the butcher and say, I want this many hamburgers. And they'll make them, but they're at least an inch thick. They're fat burgers. You can get good burgers fat. What Voss did, he got smash burgers. Before you start judging too much, though, I'd like to say at a grocery store, because I'm not making my own patties for anything. Now, I was told I was garbage for thinking that Bubba burgers are good burgers. I do think they are, but they're frozen.

It's garbage. It's garbage. It's absolutely, no argument. When I was younger, I think throwing barbecues. It was what I could afford, I think is what it was. And no one really complained about Bubba burgers. But not to you. Now, at a grocery store, they have, like, companies that are there that have not frozen, like, half brisket, whatever.

You know, it's like, you can get amazing burgers at a gross. So you don't have to go to a butcher necessarily or make your own. But the butcher's making. those. The ones that you find that are like already done, he made them in the back and prepared them probably that day. Yes. And what Voss did, for some reason,

is got smash burgers, which are little thin burgers. I get these, this company a bunch, they're great. Great burger. That's a great burger. It's a fantastic burger. Great burger. He got smash burgers. The problem with it's a smash burger, it's thin. You can't, there's no juice in it. You're not biting into it

and getting, it's a little, It's a little thin burger And then He gave me a smash burger I said with cheese They put the cheese on After they cooked it Cold cheese

So it was cold cheese On a little thin burger The cheese was thicker than the burger Look over here Jacob doesn't know that you can put cheese on a burger Here I'm sorry but you're right I apologize

He caught me with that fucking dead stare I mean his dick just got so soft He He had the The little thin burger And then put the cheese on after so I as a guest had to go I need to put this back on the grill and cook it the way it's supposed to be cooked wasn't his son-in-law or something cooking he had some teenage boy cooking

i think it's reina's boyfriend maybe it's reina's boyfriend was cooking for all the guests at one point no he told me that's who he employed to do it what he goes no he goes i gave him a couple bucks to do the grilling but it's like if you're gonna do what you actually have to do is like you got a hire a person. It can't be a friend. If a friend's going to do it because they're good at it and they want to do it, you got a Dave Williamson or something in your life. Turn it over to him. You have a cook

you cook. I cook. I cook. Fine. Whatever. If I have a cookout, I'm on the grill. I'm cooking for everybody. But you love doing that too, right? Because I want the burgers to be perfect. I want the sausages to be perfect.

I want the hot. I hired a lady one year. The third barbecue in, Dawn was like, I want you to have a good time. I was like, I am having a good time. I want cook. We hired this girl. She came over. I told you, I went to the grill. It was a hot dog space, hot dog space, hot dog space, hot dog space, hamburger space,

hamburger space, hamburger space. I go, honey, I got 60 people showing up. 20 of them have shitty dispositions because they're comics. Hot dog, hot dog, hot dog, hot dog, hot dog, hot dog. Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger. You throw them fucking all on the grill. You cook everything all at once.

and then you put it in the tray, put the lid on the tray, so it's hot. Timing is everything. You've got to go a second round then. You can't do all of it. You do a lot at once. You do all, you do as much as you can't. And then I'll put the sausages on, sausage, sauce it, sauce, sauce, sauce. The grill should be filled with everything.

And then people are coming up, grabbing the food, and I'm cooking. And then I save the steak tips for last because I don't want everybody because if I put the steak tips on, they'll just eat those and I'll have fucking 900 hamburgers and hot dogs left. So I fill them up with the hamburgers and hot dogs and sauces. He closed with steak. And then I close with steak. I close with steak.

So whoever really wants steak, you get some steak. Wait a second. I forgot for the, I forgot to, I must have missed the closer yesterday. Oh, there was no steak. Now, I'm going to, I'm going to take the hit for that. I'll take the hit for that. Because he did call me. And he said, I don't know, what should I get?

I go, smash burgers did. No. Smash burgers and Oscar Maya dogs. I say, I go, you get some really good hot dogs, get some really good sausages, and get some really good hamburger. It's too vague. Dude, it's not vague. It's way vague.

Buddy, you don't go and grab the shittiest hot dogs and the thinnest hamburgers. First of all, you don't get the thinnest hamburger. You don't get smash burgers for a barbecue. Is it taking you this long to realize how Jewish he is? I mean... I saw Bubba burger box, too. I thought it was butter burgers. That's for them.

There's a lot of vegans at that house. Oh, they were probably... Oh, vegan veggie burgers. Veggie burgers. Yeah. Anytime they came to my house, I made them bring their own stuff because I would refuse to cook it.

So I would have to save a little piece of my grill for a beet burger. Ugh. Maybe sick. Bonnie's a vegan. Because you don't know when a beet burger's done because it's the same look. You could spend seven hours on a grill

and you're like, I don't know. Bobby, it's already done. It's done before you start. You're just heating it up. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck. That annoyed me. Just a Patty made of fucking chewed corn and broccoli and shit.

But look it, look it, I live with Dawn. She makes the macaroni salad or the potato salad by scratch. That's just the way it is. She makes the salad by scratch. And yesterday he was so, he goes, make sure you tell everybody how good it was. And I kind of let it go. I wasn't going to talk about it. Why do you ask you that?

Because he, the last barbecue he got so much shit for. Because. Damn, I, I've never had people over for a thing and thought that it's going to get trashed later. Well, the last one there wasn't enough food. And then he comes over, he had chicken wings, right?

And he comes over, he had eight chicken wings they cooked on the grill. Okay. And he ate. Yeah. Eight. How many people were there?

I don't know. 35. Oh, so it's not enough. Okay, I see you're saying now. Okay. I thought maybe there were eight expertly cooked chicken wings, though. And they weren't.

They were burnt. Okay. And then he had dessert. Thank God, Lou's girl and my wife brought some dessert. They had Richie's Slush. Read his water. Reed is Reed is Water Ice.

Read his water eyes. But it was water. It turned into riches slush. It was, he goes, you want some of this? I go, it's watery. I don't want, I don't want, I don't want. It did inspire me when I went home later, though. I got Rita's Water Eyes.

Here's the deal. My party, you know what I did? Hired Ben and Jerry's to show up. I hired an actual Mr. Soft Jimmy's Softie truck. Came to my house. Go up to the truck. Whatever you want is all. I paid for it.

You can get two. three, whatever you want. Root beer float. You can get ice cream, whatever the fuck you want. And Don cooks the old cake, the yellow cake. In fairness, you also have a young son too. There's some kind of fun to that to present that to him. All

Voss's kids are my age. He had four grandkids there. I know. One of them beat me up. There's a lot of kids there. I mean, hire a fucking truck. You don't just run down and get a bucket of of Richie Slush, whatever it was.

The truck is, I only had one time, one of Tim's barbecues he had. I don't remember it. It was really like, ooh, we can just get whatever we want? You don't remember my book? You can walk up to, I had the Ben and Jerry's guy there for three years. Then I fired him and went to Jimmy's. I don't like what Christine just did to you. He had, no, she doesn't remember it, but it was the fucking greatest thing.

No, no, I don't think she fucking tanked you down and goes like, it's like when I went to Tim's barbecue. Like, that's a barbecue. Well, Bobby and Tim are similar hosts. That's a good thing. There was nothing similar about Tim's part. There was people with bow ties on bringing his fucking hors d'oeuvres. Yeah. Well, I mean, now you...

Bethany Frankel was sitting there in a tennis dress. Yeah, that's a boring. Lewis did magic for us. Lewis did magic. Everyone had a splendid time. It was maybe the greatest time I've ever had a party. That's not the... Thanks for fucking bringing that up.

No, you just... You're a dick. My barbecues... He tries to turn everybody against each other. This is why my... This is why you young bucks kind of came... Not young. I have back problems.

You guys... I bring a pillow on planes with me I got a pillow in my truck Don't call me Yeah Don't call me young bug And the guy at the parking lot Always take the pillow off

And I have to pull it back on And sit on it You guys You guys came at me Because I brought two different Two different errors of comedy I would have Norton, Voss

Colin DePalo You know all those guys And then I brought my other friends You Lewis Joe, Dan, and you guys would always sit together. You never mixed, and you blame me for that.

No, I think there, first of all, you blame me for not merging the two. Well, I wouldn't blame me for that because in that scenario, in that circle there, there was something more like, I'm actually more familiar with the circle of you guys in that regard. Of course. Do you know what I mean? I didn't come up with, I mean, I know Stavros,

I like Stavros a lot. Stavros would come. Tim, Tim, Dylan would come? But I'm saying at one point, those people... What do you think inspired Tim Dillon, by the way, for parties? Totally you, dude. It's me. Probably you.

I'm not going to give me that kind of credit, but I won't. Yeah, it was me. No, it's absolutely fantastic, dude. Yeah. Do you remember going in line for Ben and Jerry's and getting whatever you wanted? I don't know if that was the year that I was there. Do you remember the softy truck out front? It was one of those, probably, I sure was.

Whatever the year, I was only there, one of them. And it was when Lewis got naked, and then we took his clothes and stole them and hid them, and then he had to run down your street naked. Yeah. So then I just figured, like, the next year I was like, I don't think he wants us. I don't really know exactly how I ended up in the street naked? No, he didn't have to.

He ran down Dolores' driveway naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's like 80-year-old Christian woman. She said we could use her pool. And then Lewis got naked and then we stole his clothes. Oh, why did he go on the street? We took his clothes out front and threw them in the street down the street. So he had to do that.

Yeah. But, and then Bobby moved. I had to move. And I stopped the barbecue. Yeah, they started letting Puerto Ricans move after that. Isn't that true? Then they started letting a bunch of Puerto Rico people move in? They took over the blog.

Did society start letting them take over your blog? That's when they started putting the outside stuff in and the inside stuff out. They are Americans. They are Americans. Yeah, my barbecue, this is my barbecue. What should I bring? You don't need to bring nothing. I had all the drinks.

The only thing I said if you want, and I did buy beer, but if you, I bought Heinekins and some type, but if you want a specific alcohol, you got to bring that because I don't drink and I'm not getting involved with that. but you didn't have to bring a thing to my house. Cocaine? Don't bring desserts because it's already done. No, you can bring. That's, yes, that, of course.

Pills? Pills you can bring. But that was my barbecue. It was... A prostitute that I would like to feel like we spent a little time together and it wasn't just a transactional thing? I did that one year, but nobody went with her. Oh.

Yeah. And she started comedy. So, yeah, dude. But Voss, he's trying to... Look, God bless him. He did the barbecue. He wanted to do a barbecue. He wanted to...

Guys just trying to die gracefully. But it's like... A smash burger to me is... You should be on the grill, bro. You should be on the grill, or have... Well, first of all, smash burgers should be happening on a flat top. A flat... Yes.

If you're doing it on a grill, it's very weird. Also, smash burger just... I would argue isn't really the barbecue burger. No. It's not the barbecue. But smash burgers when you're making burgers in the house for dinner for, like, your family. Maybe we're doing smash burgers. How many smash burgers are you putting on a bun?

Two. You always going to do two. I got a burger with just one. Oh, individual smash burger? No, smash burger's only a thing because it's two. Yes. It's supposed to make two patties, but they're the equivalent of having a normal burger.

No. I'm explaining to Jacob. Yeah. I'm not looking to Jacob anymore. He's not delicious burgers work. He sucks me in. So, yeah, that was crazy. And then I was like, dude, there's not even,

like, when you get a plate at my house, it's like a buffet. You start here, you get a hot dog, get a hamburger, you can get a sausage, you can get the salad, then you go fruit salad, Then you go to macaroni salad or something like that. And then there's a thing of chips.

You can get some chips to put in. You fill your plate with what you want, all of it or whatever. There, you just got a hot dog, and then they had ketchup and mustard. And that's it. And then you got a burger on a plate. Well, that's... But ketchup and like a few different mustard, right? So if you went up to get food, you got you either got a hamburger or you got a hot dog.

You couldn't do both. No, you could do both. Both, but they really weren't available at the same time. Okay. And then you got... Well, there was a child cooking. Then you get props to him, though. He did a good job.

What he had? Eight burnt wings and a 500 hot dog, nobody wanted. And then there was no, like, there was no chips next to it. Like, if you wanted macaroni salad, you had to go into, like, a living room and then come back out. Like, and then you... That's a little, like, a sun room there. The three-season room they had. You had to go in there, and maybe there was a...

a whole, you know, one of those, not homemade, but it was just, you know, regular mayonnaisey macaroni salad. And then I looked over and I was like, someone had macaroni salad. I was like, what did you get macaroni salad? They go, oh, it's in there. I go, wouldn't you put it next to the, why would you have to go to a different place to get the stuff? Bug management, some of that stuff is nice if you have inside, but it's got to be a, presentation

is everything. Christine will tell you that. Christine's presentation, off the fucking charts. almost magazine-esque. Almost like you don't want to touch it. Like when she puts it out, like I'm starving right away. She'll come out with some type of weird carrot in a dip, and then she'll come out with like another tray of thing.

And then the food comes out, and you kind of have to wait until it's done because you know she wants to present it. I know she also wants to, like, I think it's to get rid of a lot of nonsense she buys because that's what it is. It comes out. I goes, why do you think we need like 27 of these cats?

carrots out because we're going to throw them away when this is over we're not going to put them back in the thing they've been sitting out all day and i think that's maybe the plan well i do like the carrot she does she does what a little of those carrots called again but you don't want six traitor joes and they're small and they're multicolor and i love them multi-cour there's a name for it the you don't want to push cucumbers it's a multi-color carrot i know there's a name like artesian or something with an artisan no maybe no it's not it's not that it's something something weird but i like this baby rainbow No, it's a name for you. You think you couldn't remember those words? Is it maybe a sweet baby carrot?

Oh, here we are. What is it? Le Petit's. What's it called? Le Petit's. Is that what you're looking for? Le Petitz? Yeah, no, that's not the name.

It's another name for that type of carrot. Ambrosia, something weird. Anyways. He does all this stuff, and he has this DJ, and then we're sitting around, and look, we can make any party fun. It was a great party. We had a good time.

What the hell of DJ? was doing. Dude, the DJ. Stealing money, I'd say. That toast thing was like, I was like, what? Just how? Why were we all pulled over here?

I walked, I walked away. I'd never been more jealous of Keith not being able to move. He just stayed in the circle, never lost his spot. I've never been more jealous of Voss not being able to hear. It was nuts.

It was nuts. And then, and then he... Took me out to his clubber lang, Jim. Yeah, we went, me and him. He's like, my bench is from the 30s. I think it looks scary. All of his equipment looks like it's going to scarily fall apart. But he's the only guy that actually makes money on his barbecues

because he wound up selling a bike to Jay and he sold me golf clubs. Yeah, he's right for himself. And he grabbed the money. He goes, that just paid for the DJ. I'm like, you paid him $1,000? Yeah, what the fuck? What the fuck was that? You just paid for the DJ.

That's a $1,000 gig? He did throw in five folding chairs. Oh, and he gave his five folding chairs to take home. That was nice. that was just on top well he did give me an extra three wood for max that's cool that's cool but he's he listen

he is Jewish the end of the day he throws you a little bit of a bargain so you come back you know what I mean that's that's the idea you got to keep on the hook he made $1,200 yesterday on his fucking barbecue he did all right but I got a call today from Keith I got a sick ass bike I got a call from Keith

violently angry at me Keith Keith I picked up the phone did you give him the you got to go nobody's going because you didn't mention Keith to me and you probably didn't mention me to Keith. I said to Keith you going. He goes, I'm not going to that dummy's barbecue. His last barbecue stunk.

Who else was there? It was Keith. Keith Robertson. Dante showed up looking like something, I don't know, out of demolition man or some type of prototype gene he was wearing. Listen, the man likes a lot of seams in his jeans. Yeah, he has slippers at his ankle.

Yeah. He would be like, you know, jeans had like, a couple of knee seams to go across and a couple of side seams, maybe some pocket seams. Maybe a multiple crosses decoration on a very large back pocket. Dane Cook? Yeah.

Yeah, he really did look like the tin man from the whiz. For sure, dude. I'm Captain E.O. He had Captain Eo pants. Yeah, he kept. It was it was him. He goes, it's the bottom half of my

Starfighter uniform. K.P. Burke was there. and then there was Voss's friends were there like Jersey Comics was there guy Dave this guy Dave who was cooking for a little bit before you showed up he cooked last time too he was on the grill

good guy he first of all he gives Voss all these golf clubs for nothing he just showed up he goes he says to me hey Max still planning I go yeah he needs a couple clubs he goes I just bought him over him a ton of clubs so just tell him to take what he wants and then Voss sold them to me for $200 nice I like that gave me it out the thing I got was given to him from the Burke Kreischer tour. They gave him the electric bike.

You finally got it. Yeah, he got Bobby. Oh, me and Jay really, me and Jay really fucking smat. We really fucked with his head, though. I called Jay before we're going. I go, we have to fuck with him. Because he told me last week he was going to give it to me for 800. And then I said 600.

And then I told Jay, you should get the bike because I didn't really care about the bike because I have a bike. I may have not even thought of it, but I saw him on Friday at the stand. And I said to him, I go, oh, you go, that bike, you got, you're trying to get rid of the bike? You don't ride it all? He's like, nah, yeah, I don't ride it. I go, I'll buy it from me. I said, I'll get it on Sunday. If I'm coming over anyway, if you want, I said, I'll buy it from me.

I go, what are you doing like a thousand for it? Or you kind of ask me, like, what are you going to pay for? I was like, I was like a thousand, because that's kind of what I heard. And he goes, he goes, you don't have to do, I used to $800, which is funny. And I said, and I said, I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I go, I mean, listen, it's a, it's a way bargain for me still. You know what I mean? If I'm buying it, I was going to, I want to buy one anyway.

So it's a bargain for me. I said, don't worry. I'll take it to care of you. And then Bobby was like, oh, I'll tell him that he said he was going to sell to me. And we made it a, it was a 45-minute bit. Yeah. We kept going back and forth. And I was like, dude, you said you were going to sell it to me.

Dawn was pulling money out of her fanny packed, like, lay it down, like, she's the bank and everything. And then I'm like, no, I said, I'll go up to $1,400. I'll go up to. By accident, one time I said 14K and Bobby broke character and goes, no, I'm out then. He was like, I don't want to take that seriously. And then he didn't want to. I was like, no, no, no, I meant 1400.

$1,400. $14,000. We were going back and forth. I was like, you said you'd sell it to. He goes, show me the money. He goes, show me the money. He goes, show me the money. And I had Don pull out a fucking fat thing of money.

Joey Vega showed up like a deadbeat dad and stayed for 15 minutes and left. He pulled up in a loud corvette. And came in and stayed for $5. 15 minutes and started shaking hands goodbye. Who is Joey V? I mean, it sounds perfect. I think he's from the 70s. I think he's from the 70s or something.

He's a comic that was, yeah, he was big. He's like, his stories are all going to be like, I got to open for fucking Feliciano. He opens for Michael Anthony. There you go. Mark Anthony. He opens from Mark Anthony. There you go.

Actually, he lives walking distance to Voss's house. I call him Mexican Nate. I was driving your bike around the corner and I saw him pull out of his driveway to drive. Oh, is that of his driveway? Yeah, he lives walking distance to his house. He pulled in the corvette out

to drive it up to the front of the house. He lives in the same subdivision. Lives in the same subdivision. I think that's where all Jersey comics go to die. Because I've recognized... That's where Vinnie Brand is back there. Everybody's back there. Who's the other one?

Vinny Brand, Eric McMahon. Eric McMahon's blowing around back there. Levy. I'm going to say this. Keith Roberts called me today. He's like, I blame you. I go, what? He goes, Voss, that by, he goes, he gave me a hot dog with just mustard.

And he goes. Did he have both moustards at least? Did he have like, did he have a brown and a yellow? Yellow. Just yellow. Just bright yellow. Just bright yellow. By the way, and then you.

Let me say I prefer, I prefer bright yellow. You got to have a spicy brown for people. That's insanity. Keith who's sitting in the chair. Black lives freaking out over there. Can't believe it. Can't move. Keith goes, he didn't give me, he goes,

he didn't give me a choice and nothing. He goes, it's yellow mustard or nothing to his fucking friend. Was there relish there? I don't know. I have no idea. I'll tell you what, if there was relish. A little sourcrow. Nope.

Maybe some chopped unes? Barbecue sauce and a squeeze bottle. What? I don't know what you put that on, but. Texas barbecue. There was no barbecue. No, I'm saying that's what you would use a squeeze bottle of barbecue sauce. Makes sense.

Keith was like, he goes, I blame you. He goes, you just quit doing the barbecue and you never gave us notice. You just left. You just had one and you didn't tell us it was the last one. He goes, it's your fault. He goes, you owe us one more barbecue. That's fair. And I go, he goes, I want a goodbye.

Voss's barbecue stinks barbecue. I see you do it this coming weekend, 4th of July. You're out of your mind. I'm there. I'm going to say this. I'm turning over the reins to you. For this weekend? No, you're the new barbecue place.

You're the new, we're having a barbecue at least once a summer. You're going to take over the, because you have the pool, you've got the jacuzzi, you've got the backyard, you got the parking, you're not too far away, you're perfect from the city, and you guys know how to put on a fucking feast. That solidifies it. That makes the decision that I've been waiting to make myself. for a while and then answers it for me. I got to sell this house. No. I can't get rid of this place.

I can't help that kind of responsibility. You're the barbecue. That's the answer. I've been like, should I get rid of this fucking house? For a while now and now that's it. That's the sign. Get the fucking out of it. Get back to an apartment that you understand

where no one's expecting you to have a fucking barbecue at your apartment. I loved throwing the barbecues in the East Village that we would do at our friend's house. I really like hosting a barbecue. You need to do a barbecue. Honestly, like when we make the guest list, I like having all of our friends around. Oh, well, don't worry. They just said that on the show. He's going to text you later to let you know if you'd like you to this weekend.

I'm going to send you my guest list over. I have it in a spreadsheet. I'm going to send over all the things we did, and you're going to have to get some type of truck to show up. You got to do, well, you guys have the bento boxes. You can do that. You guys know what the fuck you're doing. I feel like I'm handing it off to a good set of people to take over the barbecue. I'm going to do one last one.

I'm not going to have a house. No, you're not selling a house. You're going to have a biggie, though. Yeah, blowout. I'm going to have one last, last goodbye barbecue. But the list is going to be a little shorter. I'm not going to invite. I'm not going to invite Josh, but I want to see if he shows up.

He will. I'll find out. I'm not going to invite him, but he can show up. I just want to see if he shows up. He's going to. Hey, man, I heard you're having a barbecue. Hard to find this place without the address. Me and you, we could order in some barbecue

and watch fireworks from my... I'm going to be in... My apartment. I'm in... I'm at mothership this week. No, next year, when you were expecting my big house barbecue, we'd be in my apartment watching from a high floor. Oh, my God, I just realized...

I just remembered how fucking Fourth of July was ruined the year before last. Why? Josh. Oh, yeah, there you got... You got Joshed? No, I got Joshed. I guess he Joshed the group,

but I was at my Josh limit. So when he came out, I was like, well, I'm not going to do any more of this. I'm just going to, I'm not going to enjoy this at all. So let me just get the fuck out of here. I split. Yeah, Voss, it's done. You know more barbecues for him? No more birthdays?

Dude, it's all of two hours to get to his house. And then when you got there and the fact that I had a little thin smash burger, Max had to eat five burgers. We went home and ordered Italian. Yeah, actually, we went home with Don Cucson. cooked pasta and chicken. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we get some Italian. That's one thing when you go to Voss's barbecue. We were looking for restaurants to hit on the way back just in case. It was just Amish lands. They all close early because they had to wake up at four. The odd thing about the food was that towards the end of the party, Voss was really trying to push off. He was unloaded, unpresented food. He was like, he goes, I have these two full trays of sandwiches I never put out.

You go, so want to take him home and break him to the bonfire? It was like... Well, he was being made fun of for not having food. It was very... He's like, no food. I got two full trays of sandwiches. It goes, and you're a fridge. Like, no one knows this.

No one was presented one. That would have been the freshest, that would have, because we got there late, so that would have been the freshest food we would have. So I probably would have grabbed a sandwich, just a little walking around sandwich. Is you have one now? Do I have to take it home? Yeah, I feel, and now he goes, he said that, I go, I go, we'll take a couple home. maybe a couple pieces or something he goes i can't break up the tray it's an old tree oh i'm like all right then

i was like then i can't he goes and he goes he goes what you guys are it was the house he goes there's not like a fridge a second fridge or something you have the refrigerator room he goes one of the refrigerator is all drinks that's for entertaining buddy he is every bit of what he is the fat good drinks like they didn't run out of soda cans i'm always appreciative of that instead of making people pour sodas they had waters but the they had baby waters. All right, that's cheap. That means they stole that from a comedy club or something.

Here's the thing about baby waters is that people finish them and throw them away and you don't have a bunch of half-empty bottles. Fair. Okay, but you... I like baby bottles. I hate the baby bottle because it's two sips and you're done. I want a regular...

I feel like nobody takes the baby bottles is the issue. Nobody wants a fucking baby. I'm a grown man. I want a bottle of water. And you know what? If there's a half bottle at the end, fuck off. Throw it out. This is America.

Yeah, this is America. That's America. That's why you're... You have a second fridge to put all the waters in. You know what the baby bottles were? They were hidden in a little. Jesus Christ. The white man marches on.

I do it to say Bonnie made a fucking homemade salsa. We're taking back the Zog machine. Jew by Jew by Jew by Jew. The white man marches on. I talked to Bonnie and Bonnie. Bobby, please. A little of respect for the revolution. My eyes have seen the glory of the truth.

I did talk to Bonnie and she said He kept bugging me about this barbecue And I said, I'm not doing anything I have a skateboard class at 6 So as long as it's over by 6 She didn't she goes, I don't care Because she's done with it She's like, you can do it

But you have to do it Voss can't do it He doesn't have the... Is it insulting? Why don't you throw the barbecue At the bosses? Dude, I was five seconds away From getting on that grill. I was getting annoyed

But there wasn't enough stuff To do anything about it No, there was probably He probably has a lot more burgers somewhere in a freezer that he didn't take out. He probably can't do the steps like he used to. He was taking food out as people needed it. Like it was like, do you have cheese?

He's like, do you have cheese? He goes, let me go downstairs in a basement fridge, see if we have cheese. He goes, for cheese burgers? Yeah, dude, there was eight wings. He cooked eight wings. Eight wings at the end of the party. And then was like, anybody won't a wing?

No, we don't want a wing because we've already had enough and chips and salsa and desserts were full on the things you're not supposed to be full on. Well, he knew none of his black friends were showing up. So he only made eight wings. I'm throwing a party, I think, at the end of August. I'm going to throw one goodbye, never happening again. This is over the way it should be done. Yeah.

And then I'm handing it off to you. It's going to be a lot of people in my apartment. It's going to be at your house. Maybe I'll get a garden apartment. so a small outside space. How about this? You do a barbecue, I'll cook. I'll do the grill.

Okay. I'll do the grill. Yeah. I'll come over early and I'll do the grilling for everybody. That's what I did with Lewis when he threw his barbecue. It's just the thing that's going to be on a rooftop

where it's like communal barbecues. So it's like you have to share it with a bunch of Chinese people that are up there. Your house needs a party. Your house is perfect for the party. You have a pool. You have the jacuzzi. You have the TV outside. You understand, we went from a driveway in Patrice's backyard to my backyard, which was just backyard, until I got that little weird pool.

And then, and then now we went to Vosses to kind of realize that, hey, this isn't working. You just got me thinking about all those upgrades. I bet I could sell it back to the original owners and be like, this is what you meant. Hey, remember when you put up a, remember you put up a fucking sticker of stone wall? And then I had to actually stone it because I thought it wasn't. a stone wall, you fucking fuck face. Bobby Kelly, he's going to be the comedy mothership in Austin, Texas, July 3rd to the 5th.

And then Port Smith, New Hampshire, one night only two shows, July 25th. After that, Saratoga Springs, September 11th, and 12th, never forget. And then Brooklyn, New York on September 26th. Ooh, he's moving and shaken. For tickets and all their tour dates, visit

punchup.L.L.L.S. Robert Kelly. Also, August, if anyone's available, you can come to his last party, that's open to all public. Check out Bobby's new YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy. Just don't tell Josh. Every Tuesday night, he'll be it.

He's going to be. He'll be the first one there. Hey, am I too early? You can catch Bobby every Tuesday night. What time's Jay coming? Is he coming? He's coming, right? Is he coming? Because I wore this fingernail, Paul, is just for him.

I like that he panicked. I like that. He really did. You can see Bobby every Tuesday night, 7 p.m. at the Fat Black Pussy Cat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. Big J is going to be the Comedy Zone in Harrisburg, PA, July

10th through the 12th. After that, he's going to be in Winnipeg, Richmond, and Long Island for tickets and tour dates, bigj comedy.com and YouTube.com slash at Big J. O'Kerson, the barbecue boy, the new, the altar. You are the, the sword has been passed to you, buddy. It's all you. I think we should add, you know what dude, gang story wars to our things. Yeah?

Yeah. Those are pertinent things that we all do that, like, should get our attention here. Almost more than our YouTube's, I guess. Well, we've got to make sure people listen to YouTube, too. Yeah, you know what? I don't know. What good. Let's just take a break.

Just keep a bonfire. I got to be honest with me. Made it through the entire half of the show without getting into the subject I'm worried about. Oh, yeah. Looking forward to it. Oh, when we get back, we have some juice. It's the bonfire. We have some tea to spill.