The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Waiting For Ari with Dan Soder

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

Jay is all set to play the infamous tape of his early stand-up for Dan Soder and the crew but Ari Shaffir is late. To pass the time, Jay makes everyone do a dance from the movie Footloose and Dan plays a bad rap song by Pat McAfee. Once Ari arrives and the tape is played, it does not disappoint. The year is 1997 and Big Jay is on stage at an urban club for one of his first performances ever. Tune in tomorrow for part two and catch the big reveal! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Crison and Robert Kelly. You are young. Hey, baby, it's you. Oh, da, doo-p-p-d-da. Ooh. I'm always taken back to this song's one thing for me. And I don't even know why it's good, because she had the flattest, narrowest ass in the world. But the girl on footloose, when they go to the bar and sing this,

and they just do a cut of her Jordash's ass, and it's that part when it goes, back it up Lou when the music drops out like um yeah um mchum

so much old it is when they're walking out on the floor they finally find a place where dancing's legal right here shake that oh back boom boom

bap pow come on jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle jicled wait we got the cameras going back it up again Lou I'm going

I'm going to show you what she did Give me a taste, Bobby. Come on, can you do it? You know you're trying to show off that fucking fat wagon. Man, yeah, you're on the dance floor. You're being sexy. You got Kevin Bacon across from you. And he hit it.

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Bobby can move his touch. No, it wasn't good. Wow, that hurt. Whose was better? You did the shake part, but he was already grooving leading up to it, and I thought he had some rhythm. Yours, I'm going to give it to you. Well, because he's staring you down with a death stare.

He wanted to win. It was in arguable. I gave it to you. We have a very special guest in Dan Soda. Do you introduce him so we can get to the bottom of my ass thing was like? Let me understand what Jacob was saying, because Bobby went to a place in his head, because I was the only one that saw him shut his eyes. and put himself in the bar? He panicked.

He never, no, no, no. Here's what he was doing. He was trying to go meditative. He transported himself. Yes. I became her. He became her. He became she.

I became she. But you, you buried him with the choreography. Because you knew, you knew when to shake them hips. Bring up the scene, Christine. I'm not technical. No, but I'll tell you right now. Footloose. You were in that goddamn bar.

I was in that bar. And I was wearing Jordash. Kevin Bacon was watching you dance. And my ass was shaped like a heart. Yes. Yes. You didn't even wiggle it in the right, he didn't even do the right thing.

But Jay's was beat for beat on the move. Well, can I say this though? Jay, Jay's done that probably alone in a room since a thousand times. Yeah, that was him an hour ago getting ready for the show. Yeah, that was him naked in the show.

That was my first time doing it. Do you think he didn't think of that and then practice it? Oh, yes. Bring it up. Dan, take it for a run yourself. Come on, Dan. Cue it up.

Cue it up. Cue it up. Oh. Young bold way. Here comes. With the girl like soup. Pooop. Pooop.

Pows. Feels good. Feels great. It's a good first shot. Feels good. It was a great first shot. You know what? I was wrong.

Feels great. Oh, God damn. I could already see it right now. Jacob's going to nail it. Black Lou's getting fucking left out here of this ass-shicking thing. Black Lou, take it back. Black Lou, give us a taste. Time to hit the rhythm section.

Black Lou and Jacob. Go on, Lou. Black Lou's going to blow us all of it. You want a duo? Wait, back it up a little bit, you didn't have his headphones on yet. Yeah, yeah, pop your headphones on. Okay, here we go. Pull that shirt up, pull that shirt up.

Yeah, there we go. Here comes. Zoop, pamp, boom, pump, pah! Now I'm in. Like a duck to water. Jacob, of course, we're not going to leave you out, dude. Fucking nail it. Come on, dude, you're the prince of Jewish R&B.

The clown prince of Jewish R&B. I've always said you're the heir apparent. Oh, here he goes. Here he's there. Oh, yeah. Bring it home, Jacob. I mean, wow. Listen, this might be a lot for me to ask as a guest.

But DJ Lou doing this might just give everybody bonus. DJ Lou, I think it's time, dude. This is the time. Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou. I'm trying to bust in my pants on my pants on my phone. I don't even let my girlfriend see my ass. I'm not gonna showcase it. It's not showcasing your ass.

It's just showing you got those moves, dude. It's dance, man. Come on. Lou, can I ask you a question? Can you answer your question, Lou? Do you need to see me do it one more time? I forgot that Lou takes off his jeans like a paraplegic. Because he doesn't want his girlfriend to see his butt.

You know how Matt Paco is? We haven't asked him yet. He's dying. Oh, Paco. It's coming around, dude. Paco came here to dance. Yeah. Paco was busking outside dancing.

I saw him do Michael Jackson. DJ Lou. Just a taste, dude. What if we all do it with you together? I don't know. It'll make me feel so bad inside. Why? Look at me.

I thought the same thing. It makes you feel brilliant in some. I'm a theatrical. I'd like to be behind the scenes on this one place. That is true. I'm very theatrical. Oh, my God. Fine.

Christine, it comes down to you now. No, I'm a girl. I don't have to. It's Paco's turn. Fettamint. Come on. Paco, go ahead. Before you do it, Paco, I know you're not familiar with the song.

Do you think you need to see me do it one more time? I do. Okay, all right. He needs to see it, though, because he doesn't know what the part is. I needed a second shot to get me to where I need to be, so I understand that. You understand, yeah. Bring it back, Lou. I'm expecting Paco to have tear away pants.

Paco, do it in your underwear. Here it goes. Here is, Jay. He holds on to his touch. Can I tell you what Jay does? English at the end. It's a little short movie of it, and he saves the oomph for the last. That's what it is.

The punchline is the... Did you want to take another shot at it now that you see the new way? I think so, yes. Okay. Jay nailed the capo at the end. Jay has such joy. Yeah, Paco, take a good look, because you're next. Bobby's there, too.

With a girl like you. I'm going to Bam All right All right Now where I just I don't mean to go

All dancing with the stars on you You have to But where you missed is The thing that you pointed out What Jay is great at Is a swing At the end It gives a nice

Shack He's hitting the crash symbol With his ass Yes Yes And where you are Your butt's arriving I'm riding on a little bit

Your butt's arriving But much like Ari Shefir You're butt's arriving late. That's it right there. That's why Jay's the pitching coach. He's like, he just want to get your full circle in there. Snap that son of a bitch. Look at Paco's just waiting. Oh shit, Paco.

Paco. Have your moment, dude. Paco has his own boom box with it, Q'd up. Paco, do your cheeks out, though. Let's see those little Filipino's cheeks. It's hairless. Hairless cheeks. Hairless cheeks, Paco. Here we go. Oh, he knows it. Oh, look at him already. Here comes. We're the girl. like you zoom, pap,

poom, boom, pap, pat! God, this is how they were so good at tricking our GIs. Oh, they're coming in for sex

and X-the-N-X-A-you-know, it's a fucking shoe bomb. Now, Cleveland doesn't have legs. Cleveland. There's the name guys have to see. Dallas is helping him clean up Chicago,

man. Holy shit. Yeah, that was it was sexy. It had everything. Pablo, I mean, Paco's had personality. You guys were talking about before, they just did the vacation with... Oh, yeah, but you just went on the gas digital retreat.

Yeah. And you're away from your overlord so you can speak for you. I told you guys tell them. Yeah, I won't tell them shit. Are you kidding me? You guys made Mike Swares sleep outside? We didn't make it, but he ushered himself out because he could see how upset everybody was. Really?

Because he's snowing? I'll escort myself outside. If anyone needs me, I'll be sleeping Faisdaer on the pool. If anyone needs me, I'll be scaring to locals. They're just going to way. All right, I guess I'll just

boogeyman the rest of the night. Next to the man, he goes outside to sleep. He caught down all the trees. I have his snoring right here. Those aren't waves crashing, folks. Yeah. We're going to get sleeping on a steamboat?

I mean, dude, I spent a night Hearing that. You guys were in the bedroom. I was out on the couch. I had he was in the wall. I sleep. I snore for sure. I've never seen Dan Soda

that mad in my life. I was very mad. My snowing didn't bother you at all. No. You have a picture of me in your phone. We use with one of those iPhone filters that you love where you could see every wrinkle on my face, but it looks like a mean caricature drawing

where they added extra lines because they just didn't sleep. Dude, that motherfucker and the worst part was he would do the horror movie snore where it would stop and you'd go, it's over. He died. And then he goes, oh, yeah. That's exactly it. That's the fucking, that's the Jason Borgh. He's opening his eyes at the end.

Yeah. You go, ah, dude. Oh, so mad. I should have slept in your car. That's what you said the next day and you were right. I should have put the seats down in your car. You should let him sleep in the car. I don't know, man.

They made him sleep outside in the car. the jungle. Do you remember at the end of one of like five or six, one of the Friday the 13th? His neck got caught on a chain on the back of a boat. He's in the bottom of the lake. And the boat fan, that's how he dies in that one is the boat fan chops his fucking face and the hockey mask in the pieces, in the little disgusting bloody pieces, including the mask, destroyed. And then they do the wrap up where everyone's okay now who lived. And then at the end they go down the bottom of the lake and they show his

eyes open in the mask. I'm like, what a didn't he just get hit by a fucking would Satan put his face back together? I can't have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one. Superman flew backwards. They didn't show that. The next Jason starts with lightning striking him at the bottom of a lake.

Is that how he comes? Is that the one I don't know. I don't know if it's the bottom lake. One of them is fucking hilarious. He gets struck by lightning when he's underwater. Isn't that the one? No, the lightning one that was funny is there's one where the guy I think it's Cory Feldman's character grown up opens up his grave he goes it was great and it's like a like a fucking you know skeleton or whatever yeah and the thing and he starts stabbing it with like a pole

where he brings like a metal pole and starts stabbing it and he's like uh he's like uh all right I got that out of my system and then lightning strikes the bowl and it brings him back to life it really is like a comedy if they put comedy music to Jason and they're just like did it wrong every time like Benny Hill music when he's just They essentially tried with a fucking, I mean, they had Freddie Kruger skateboarding in points. Like he was a skateboard, everything. A pizza guy with a pizza with little pepperone or little meatball children faces. I'm sorry, dude.

I was trying to get her. Can you call Ari? He's supposed to be here. He's not here. Is he not answering anybody? He's not answering me. He was talking to him last night. He's supposed to be here at 5 o'clock.

He's not here. I'm telling you every second. We have to find out if he's coming or not because I promise you, guys you're the set that we're gonna watch today of me I was like dancing while I was brushing my teeth today it's that's how excited I was I was like oh we're gonna watch Jay do a black cent it's like I've never gonna respond to me that quick at my life I literally typed boom I sounded it was yes it was it was medical how I responded to you didn't even get to three dots it was just one dot yeah she was doing the first dot watch Jay set I said yes that's it

I would be there, prompt him. Fucking A. Because if he's not coming, I'm telling you, I already know one episode of this to get through. This is five and a half minutes. I'm going to meet. Are we doing a lock-in? Christine did a seven minutes said it took us two episodes to go through. Yeah, I was listening to you guys through the last special on a drive, on a long drive.

I heard last week's, no, two weeks ago, the Lost Tapes. Yeah, do you see his or what is Facebook now? Well, you sent it to me. You and DeRosa discussed it a little bit. David Vox Mullen. Yeah. He is now a friend of the show. He actually changed his Facebook page to the Bonfire logo.

Oh, my God. Yes. Dude has featured repeatedly and unpaid. Oh, my God. You have a bitchy new friend? Yeah. Yeah, I guess I'd go to your house if I was just desperate enough to eat your cookies. And Christina had an idea I loved of him reviewing our...

He wants to be on the show now. Of course it is. Of him reviewing other people's specials. He actually has Jay merch on his page. Shut the fuck up. No, no. I mean, it's the science. Yeah.

I call myself the science. I don't know if you know that. He's the science. I am the science. I'm the actual influencer. It started with body brain coffee. Yeah, of course. I keep saying that I don't drink coffee,

but I have been ramming it up my ass, and I'm getting the benefits. And Lewis says, And that's Jay's thing, but there's no science in that. And I said, I am the science. And so that's why he... Bobby's the Fluence. You're talking to the magic right over here on the ones and twos.

The cackle. I feel like you guys started... Wait, the beef? Beef. Why is the beef? We have the meat. Great. And then...

The family. Oh, man. It's because everyone... Because that's the whole family. Jacob goes to Florida. Family of one. Because people died. No, because people...

No, not that. People go... Oh, fuck. People go on vacations. Family of one. Up here. The dead family act. Jacob does family activities by himself

because he is the family. Damn, he's just like sweet Frank Castle. What if the Punisher was... really just nice. I mean, it's up to you guys. Ari said he's going to be here in 25 minutes. I, honestly... Yes, we gotta wait.

I don't agree with that. Let me just say why. Can I get... Let me get a bump. I'm at the party. Give me a little... Why don't we give... I fucking showed up on time. For context.

Why don't we give him a little taste that we got? Give me a fucking taste. Oh, he never saw... He didn't see the taste. He hasn't seen any of them. No, I want to wet my whistle. Wet my whistle. Come get me. This is a goodie.

I got to stop it right away. You should have Ari familiarize himself with this clip. Last week we did my comic... Comics Unleashed. We did my comic... Oh, he forgot the show already. And he trashed... Mike Vick-Eown, you work out?

Trash me? Mike Vigion. Oh, mine was way worse. Oh, yeah. Apparently, I was the star of the show because I thought there was just two little clips of me. Apparently I did like three or four. Damn, they gave you...

You gave him a full meal. Bobby never didn't stand up. That is great. Except when he didn't stand up, he would lean back in his chair and kick his feet up so he could say things like, I don't know, lo, what? I love you, I bounce on the bed till you come in with my hot choppelobolus. Oh, my God. That's baby speak. My bagelios.

I know marshmallows. I forgot. Yeah, we all knew marshmallows. Of course. I knew marshmallows. But I forgot about the... I forgot about the hopchapalopolis. A hot chopelopubus is...

Here's my favorite part of this. Sounds like you're luring an animal out. This isn't Bobby. Father. devoted husband. Cigar aficionado. Cigar aficionado. Also, a calm,

tempered by therapy and insight and inner looking. Yeah. Prayer. Zen Bobby. And all this stuff. That's not who's on comics unleashed. The person

who's, this person here is looks like if you were like, well this guy's been like our, a sage and a mentor to so many of us including myself. And you're like, This was this wasn't that guy. This was Bobby when he fucking told me he hopes my kid gets sick. He was a mean person.

And that was his comedy. And we never said anything to him about it. If you really think about it. It's like Bobby had an exorcism and they pulled a Puerto Rican out of him. He's like, oh, I cut you. I cut you. You can get sick. And then now he's like, oh, hey, everybody.

That is when I went to L.A., and Patrice did say that I went to L.A. a gorgeous Italian guy and came back a fat Mexican. So I was living in L.A. at the time. Oh, my God. There must have been moments in L.A. where you just collided with people with their fake phoniness? Oh, dude.

Are you kidding? He jumped right in. Sunni McCullough. No, I didn't. Well, number one, this is also you in the room with Dane listening to the song. Thank you. That's my point.

You said, when we called you, when we called you, give us a quote. Give us the quote. Give us the quote. That was play it again, Bob. I don't play it again, Bob. Let's say something. When something affects you,

you can't fight that. When that thing is the check that that guy's going to give you. I'll tell you what, I was on O&A a lot of times, but the two things that hurt me the most is when you call me out on that, and then when you call me with the, Hey, Melissa. Oh. We saved you from prostituting yourself on cameo?

You cost me money. I was making money. Now, a thousand bucks I make nothing. He eventually gave you his job. I put down the sword for you because I took your cameo money. Oh man, that was, yeah, hey Melissa, but that was one of the best,

when we called you about that, he goes, dude, what did you do? This was the time you were with Dane Cook, and you went, he goes, you're wording, you go, oh yeah, he goes, you guys never knew Hollywood Bob. He goes, I was Hollywood Bob,

that he said, you said, he played it for me in full, and then when it was over, you looked at him and you said, dude you did it and he went really and you went I want to hear it again yeah that's where the destruction is you just saw me then Dinkook goes fuck I've got a whole pocket full of these sleeping but I'm wide awake that's like that's like Pat McAfee put out that song I don't know if you heard Pat McAfee song and he was like and I got seven more bangers when this came from and then

you hear it and you go did Pat McAfee put out a song it's called Duky it's like serious It sucks. Is he serious? I don't think it's a joke song. It's not like fucking, yeah, dude. I gotta tell you, the guy wears casual tanks. Yeah. And too much for me to think that I would love him.

Yeah, no way. Are you kidding me? He wears your naked clothes outside. Oh, yeah. He wears your love making uni outside. He's in my naked clothes. But I remember, dude, I was somewhere with Shane. I was somewhere with Shane.

And it was like they went to lunch and I was like, I'm all right. And then when I got back, they were like, yeah, Pat McAfee mad. I was like, oh, thank God. I was having that guy. Again, I'm also just not that guy. I'm a pleasant person, so I'm not going to.

Sure, you're not rude. I would have been nice to him and I would have been like, oh, but I'm doing it just because it's like, I'm being phony. You would have been Hollywood J. Yeah. Listen to this song, though. He's got a whole crew of dudes that Hollywood bobbed him.

This is like young, Jake Paul. His jeans are too tight. That's the line that gets me every time. canceled, who me, Boogie Man Spooky. Whoever let him record that should be shot in the head execution style.

And he's heavy involved in wrestling now, right? No, he's out. Is he out? Yeah, he's not calling it for WWU anymore. What happened? I think he's just, like, busy. I swear to God, I think he's just, like, so busy, he's like, well, I did it for a little.

Yeah, this song sucks so much ass. And there was people that were like, fuck yes, dude. It's not as good as Ford. Ford is great It's not. It's not. Dude, if we're doing battle...

Straight up. I'm talking right now. If we're doing battle... Ford hit me right here. If we're doing Battle of the bands Cook v. McAfee? Hang on one sec. Oh, God.

You guys, the next time he sang it when he brought it back, I was tapping my foot. Oh, my God, when he comes in, it makes me want to punch a wall. I was doing the old... One, two, three. I feel courageous,

but I'm still... scared. To finish recording that and to look and go. Yeah. Oh my God. Bobby was right. Bobby went this for before,

you know what? He's leaving out before he said you did it. He went, dude? You did it. No, first of all, you're wrong. Dane wiped my tear with his finger. Oh. As Bobby, and Bobby didn't say anything.

He mouthed. Thank you. You've done it. You are the Danejo. Thank you. This is when you have too much money in power. Yes, that's what this is too. When a recording studio goes,

Yeah. Yeah, we'll do this. It's just, it's Boogie Nights, Diggler with the money. If they could pay for the masters. You don't think I'm, if I get millions, I'm going to not release a song.

Oh, dude, if you blew up. Called backwards. I love it. Back home. You're all about my career? You're doing like, um. He's doing hardcore Boston country.

Backwards. Backwards. Backwards. I've only gone backwards. I'm letting you guys now. I'll let you guys know you're right you're right whittling down the clock on this thing I've got it's back to health this okay give me a taste all right let's go let's go this is from the laugh house give us a little little oh my god this is somewhere in my first

few months of comedy yeah I must have played at least a few more other black shows besides laugh house because I say something in the beginning that lends me to believe I don't by the way I've only seen what you're about to see This is all I've seen. We saved it. I didn't watch. Did you watch the full clip? No.

Okay. The only thing we did, me and Christine yesterday made Jay Turn around. I said go through the thumbnail. And they went and they said there's a performative piece. There's something at the end. I was like, is there a chance you get naked at the end of this? And he doesn't. No.

We had to look so we weren't waiting for. Good disclaimer. There is something. Good disclaimer, because those of us that do remember are your bodybuilding act. You're really hoping he was going to get naked. You're hoping to see. I was too. It's where I just thought was like, oh my God, maybe it is not.

Maybe it is not. Was it one of Joe's thongs that used to borrow? Yeah. My stepfather. He had a zebra-pring song. Why? I think it came. No, but it wasn't a body builder.

Oh, yeah. He was a power-lifter. No, it wasn't that. He just had, like, a three-pack, like, tube of, like, he wore, like, he wore, like, jock-strande-type underwear. I'm not one to defend a Joe, but I'll defend your Joe. Yeah. And let you not.

He's shaving his body, which you always talked about, because he was doing the bodybuilder stuff. I mean, the powerlifting stuff. Yeah. But you'd have to shave him. Yeah, and you're shaving down. You're buying a thong if you're shaving your body. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Because you're like down to like...

It wasn't a thong either. It was bikini. You can't wear just regular underwear, like a dumpy asshole like me. But it wasn't thonged. It was like, it was bikini underwear. I had thongs. So it means like... God damn right, I did.

God damn right. That's gay. These weren't thongs. They were like, but they, but they, the straps on the side were this thing. You know what I actually make all my underwear thongs. I mean, not like that. For quite a while there.

All right. Listen, fuck this. It's like those. Let's get to it. Wait, the men's active, that thing there. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's bring it up. Let's get in it. Okay. Here. All right. So this is, I'm being introduced. What night? Is this like a Monday, Tuesday?

The Thursday night. Blazing Thursdays. He brought a couple people with him too. Got it. This is early. Well, this is being filmed, I believe, by my friend Jamie. Shout out Jamie. The one who told me to try doing comedy.

Yeah. Because she sent this to me. She goes, oh my gosh. I have this video. I just found. I just found it goes, look how young you look. This is one of your, She said it's your first time doing comedy,

but from what I say, it's not. But it's early. And my tone and everything. Who's hosting? 2. Ray. That's 2.Rey. That's 2.R. That's 2.Rae taking me off stage.

We're taking me and put me on stage. Go 9ers? What's on 2Rae? Bang bang nighter gang. Bang bang nighter gang. Yeah. So I go on state, just, I'm so bummed that the lights have to be so bright in here because

because you're filming? I want you to see it. Yeah. I want you to see it good. Do they? Yeah. What's going on? with your guys' gaming stream with these lights.

We have guys playing Grand The Felno? Well, I think it wouldn't matter so much if we'd use those $10,000 pieces of shit up there in the wall, but they fired everyone that would use them. Can I tell you... Can I just tell you from a distance? We had to hire Apaco and buy cameras.

They did hire them back for downstairs podcast studios. Can I tell you from a distance? I believe Katie's studio was fully functioning. Yeah, fully functioned. But it ain't running the way it should. Really? I've been watching from a distance laughing. Yeah.

I watched Katie go through the same thing we did where she goes, there's four cameras and they go, I know. There is, isn't there? And she was like, so why don't we go full video? They go, well, that's a whole thing. You need somebody to push four buttons. The funny thing is I believe these cameras are now outdated.

Yeah. Those things run on film. Close the gate, check the gate. We got it? We're going to get one more. Guys, room tone. Guys, this is a five-minute comedy set. I'm so excited.

What year is this roughly? Yeah. 97 or 98? Okay. All right, so Clinton's in office. I would say 97, but I'd say, well, yeah, 97 and 98, probably 98 because I started in September of 97, I believe. That does, that does help immensely. Okay.

Yes. Oh, that shit! Did you get that shit! Holy shit the confidence! Oh, it gets metal! Oh, my God. And honestly, I can't. I know you're a young Paduan

because I think you have what I can only call is a Pookashell necklace It's not It's a silver It's a sterling silver from the mall It's shout out It's a shame Can I tell you right now

You're dressed a lot less urban Than I thought you would be No this was very like You were in the mid You were mid range You could be skater Or urban at this point He didn't have money yet

You didn't have money to get into full character I know but when he didn't have money He was popping them fooobo And getting those big jeans That's, I'm sure that's like, this is all big and tall shit, so I promise you. At this point, you've been bitten by the werewolf. Yeah, it's a rock-o-it's a rock-aware shirt or something, you know what I call it? That t-shirt, that t-shirt is like a fucking, it's like a South Pole or something.

Yeah, okay, yeah. Or Timberland. All right, bring it back. We've got to see it one more time. And we got to give him the first things we heard me say. I speak, too. We got to get over the, wait, you got to see the arm. He high-fives with one hand.

The other arm swinging out that way. that hand comes, swings back, grabs the mic, and that hand goes to the... Doesn't waste a movement. No, not a movement. Doesn't waste a movement. He's a pimp. Do you want to know it?

My economy of movement is fantastic. At this point, I would tell you it's downright scientific. Because you're the science. The science. The science. Buy the shirt. That's what happens. By the of a...

David Fox Mullins. You guys shit on a guy in the penances. You have to let him sell murder. Absolutely. I fucking love. Guys, yeah, the science is in. shirts available over at davidboxmoan.com it's economically fair that's fair it's just bash the guy and then you go

I don't know I'll say you like 40 shirts I am the science I'm gonna ask some to tear your art apart your 50 shirts ours two stops away two stops away all right well it's all right listen you should have told him to watch the clip we put out so he's at least familiar with this part I just sent it to him the fact that you don't think we're gonna

watch this part over and over again is nuts we can but I'm gonna tell you we're buddy when we come back from commercial. Yeah. It's gonna be... It's on. Let's go.

It's on and popping. Let's go. As Jay would say. Have we got ready? As 97 Jay would say? Yeah. You gotta say, one. It's one and popping.

It's one and popping. Oh, yeah. Or do you have any of the Philly fucking accent? Oh my God. We're getting fucking Hogi J? He combined, wait a minute. He combines two accents. Oh, hell.

Oh, here it comes. Oh, dude. I don't know what this accent is that I have. I mean, I hear the Philly, but whatever the, yo, y'all. Don't even tell them, we'll watch it. All right. Oh, it's so good. Swagger.

What's up? How's everybody doing? All right. That's everybody. Good? Everybody ready to laugh now? Woo! Keep it rolling then.

How's what everybody do? That was. Why would you say? That's the greatest approach. That's the greatest joke approach, young comic joke approach, or He goes, great, great. And then I start giving a speech. We watch this part.

He goes, you ready to laugh now? Really? Like now it's about to start. Yo, yo, now? You guys, real laugh now? Which one y'all crack me open? Uh-oh, y'all just spilled the hilarity. Y'all better clean this up,

because there's too much hilarity on the carpet. I'm gonna tell you though that's not confidence that's confidence that I did not have starting out like I know you can see the trepidation when you're getting ready for the joke but the coolness of you being like you couldn't act like a black guy when you first came out

I mean I kind of was I was doing Chappelle basically you gotta hear my speech but you have to get it's going it's okay we don't know if it's the beginnings of a bit I'm hoping sure that I'm setting up something that I'm setting up something like you know like a piece or something

some kind of a punch because when I start talking right away all I start talking about is I do black rooms I'm a white guy here just give me my fair shake I'm asking me to give me a fair shake I've come from across the tracks

it's so I'm like I'm here to make your people laugh please be getting to a bit you know black brothers white brothers here we go listen to it Pull it back. How you doing?

How you fucking done? This is primarily an all-black club. I play usually all-black clubs. I'm used to it. I don't try to win you guys over in a special way. I'm sorry. This is going to take me five hours. Senator Jay.

Listen, guys. Yeah, I understand that there's been a racial divide in the city for quite some time. I'm here to tell y'all that as this country is found in the great city of Philadelphia, Yeah, I don't care you're black. Yeah, I don't care you, yell at the movies. In fact, I'm going to address that coming up. But they're hands, too, dude. I also tell you what might be happening with my shirt,

just to give you a little heads up. It might be funny, because I'm just looking the way it looks. I do black clubs all the moon. There's a chance if it was something I was wearing, like, a fucking, like, now it's funny. You, it wouldn't even matter. If you wore, like, a Guns and Roses or something, shirt's, like a black show, it's not shaking.

Black people wear guns and roses stuff now. It's just like style stuff to wear like bands and shit. That might be an inside out like shirt that was it. Because here's the thing, I shot big and tall. So the shirts were, you could buy the hip-hop shirts that were the big. If you just need t-shirts also, it would be like, I had one that was like animal from the Muppets face on it. Just stuff like, or you can get like a Superman logo or guns and roses maybe or something. There's a reason.

There's a reason you're wearing that shirt. What? We'll see at the end. Oh, oh, yeah? Oh, is that part of the reveal? God, I love that. You got a reveal in your show. I don't know.

Early on, five minutes set and there's a reveal. Jay's closes all reveals back in the day. That was his name before science. It was a reveal. The reveal. Yeah. At the end of the show, I didn't have confidence in my joke, so at the end, I feel like I would have to reveal to you.

Jay, what are you going to do if the crowd's not good? I'll show and I'll tell. Yeah, he goes, I'll reveal everything. I'll reveal it. Can you pull it back a little? Because I do want to see how you doing, how you doing to. Go back all the way. Yeah, start it over.

Oh, yeah, dude. Nope. You're ready to laugh now? What's up? How's everybody doing? All right. All right? Are you ready to laugh now?

Woo! Let's keep it rolling then. How's everybody now? This is primarily an all black club. I play usually all black clubs. I'm used to it. I don't try to win you guys over, no special ways.

I don't try to pull no special moves, talk about rap or rappers, rapping trying to get you guys a beat we gotta pause it I don't think we should go past here this is fantastic I'm lost in awe of your fucking

save the last dance comedy set I don't know I've learned a lot by watching your people yeah y'all love seasoning yeah I've observed I've observed all you guys

yeah I've been observing y'all from fun this is so funny I love it I think I talk about rap or to hippity hop His pencil beard is fantastic I'm not gonna say words like Dave I can't wait oh yes

Can we just see the front again Is Ari here? Is Ari here? Do you check in? No I assume he ascends in I assume he drops in like fucking Yeah he just comes through the wall like goop Pako turns into Ari It was here the whole time

You fucking idiots Ari just loop he's a looper He loops right into fucking Paco Paco's head just starts shaking Ari comes out of his mouth Hey guys, sorry I was running late I looped here I loopered here earlier

Sorry guys I had a looper earlier Yo when I'm watching this and I mean this You hate yourself inside Yes What did it? I was encouraged to keep going Yeah Yeah because Like everything from the very beginning of

If I was watching a comic, a new comic, I mean, I guess if they said he was, like, under a year in, sure. Yeah. But I'm saying, like, but even under a year in, like, the weird, everything about it is weird. Even saying that, he goes, all right, y'all ready for it? Now, all right, now we're going to get it now. We're going to start laughing now, y'all, all right,

now we're about to do it now, for real now. This is why I feel bad for comics starting now, because they have to put this out. This was found when, I don't know what your friend's going through, a divorce or an attic fire, but they found it and they were like oh my god I uploaded it

you could watch it and we go like a relic and you're you now you're a successful comedian I love that Jay's always had an encouraging white girl in his corner

if you play it back you can hear if you go if you buy a Jay action figure it comes with the supportive white girl play it back you can hear in the back it is a small black people black audiences don't go

woo oh no and she goes and when I first man she goes yes Yeah. And it's Jamie. Yeah.

But that's what I mean. Jamie had to find this and send it to you versus like a lot of people that start now, their open mic is on Instagram within six hours. I know. Like you see it. They go, I did an open mic and you're like, what do you do it? By the way, I see what I just, is that reels, I guess? When it's something, if you go right on Instagram and stuff being videos and I scroll

up on those and it'll be kind of similar things over and over again where it's like the word algorithm. And Flitzer? Yeah, it's the algorithm. Yeah. Or rhythm. Alga. Either way you want to say it. If you're fishing the Alga?

Yeah, hang on a sec. The AGR? The AGR. No, when it gets into those, it's like people where I'm almost convinced they're performing for an empty room. Oh, brother. Remember that guy we found? But I think a lot of people do that.

I know. Remember when we found that guy? Yeah. Like, their belief is like, the joke's good. Yeah. Doesn't matter what's going on with the audience. And that's not the truth. Well, you get crazy.

Because a lot of times, you guys did. You guys did. jokes last night. You guys think it's going to be funny and you do something and then you're saying and you go, well, fuck you. That was so funny up here. I actually did a performance piece last night. You did. Oh my God. Before I already gets here, I can give you a little taste of this. This was funny. So we had three one-word topics we got to just hit at some point. From the fans. From the fans. We had to go up on stage with the piece of paper. You guys were doing what HS Tiki-talkie was doing to Louis Thoreau in the documentary where you're like, oh yeah,

I'll say that. You know, I'll hit your friends with Jimmy Saville. Yeah, yeah. Taking the feeds. Oh, yeah, that's good. You're a pito. You good friend Pito. You're a friend's a Pito. No, so Bobby went up first.

God bless him. And his topics were dicks, bloodletting. Oh. And nicknames. Okay. And Bobby went up there. And by the way, God bless his heart. I promise you.

Whatever he says beyond this would be a lie. And I'm impressed with the reality. of it. Bobby started what he was doing with no fucking idea where it was going to go and he did make it at the end make sense. You landed it. But I'm telling you... As a 30-year vet, yes.

I landed the plane. Now can I ask you a question? But I landed like the plane they did in Pennsylvania on September 11th. Everybody died. We're in a field. Some people get to go to the Pentagon to grieve. You got to go to a field in PA. There was pieces of the plane

left. It went down, but Bobby saved a monument or something. Yeah. Dude, that's why we call Bobby Flight 93. He's a United 93. So Bobby goes He's at there and his first one is going to be Dick. I told him too, I go, I go tell them that we're like picking a word. We got three words that we have to kind of make some

funny out of from the radio show. Give yourself a little like buffer of that at least. Yeah, don't go shame yourself. Because the crowd also up to this far, the people we have watched is eating shit. And then Will goes up there and eat shit with him. Let me tell you about that. Do Daniel Simonson and Will

Sylvan should do a movie together because it's just funny to watch like they it's two people like that don't they both don't want to be there but they're will's committed to being there with him and daniel just wants to leave he's like please let me why you why you what you have your weird voice he goes please i i'm sorry that i asked you a question yeah can i please leave i'd like to go now i always i was i tried to do his voice but i can't but i do the uh well i do the um voice from Twin Peaks or i'm trying to do the Macarood's voice. He lives in the Black Lodge.

He's got Black Lodge voice. Well, you are... Skiyemned. Will I don't know what you are talking. So Bobby goes up and he goes, so we have to do these things. It was so... The way he did it was so that I'm telling you,

I felt in the room. I'm not joking about this. This is why I started laughing myself. It felt like the lighting change in the room. Because Bobby put his stuff down. He took his scally cap off, put down. And he goes, yeah we got to do this thing with uh for the show we each got a topic and he goes

i hate dicks i've hated him since oh my god not that long ago he goes used to love dicks and uh now i don't when i was young you know i was like you guys you guys were young and i'm talking you're like dicks right like dicks but it was like he's like a one-man show remember the uh the fucking or the what's the armistin fred armison yeah where he's like daddy why is mommy not going to be here this year? By the time I was 13 years

when I learned everything I needed to know in hardships. Like that's what Bobby's thing fell. He goes, he goes, so we're doing this thing. I hate Dix. And he's like, I don't even know when it happened. I used to love Dix. At one point I looked at the one light. Yes.

He was in a light. And then he hypnotized me. I don't know what the fuck he's doing. And then he goes, yeah, he goes, Wait, do you guys think I'm talking about, like, pen? No, no, no, I mean, like dicks, like guys that are assholes. Like, now I don't like them. When I was young, I like guys.

And the crowd kind of, and they sort of bought in, and they took that little journey with it. And I was like, what the fuck just happened? I don't know if you've watched. It was hypnotizing. I don't know if you've watched David Vox-Mullin's thing, though. You want to take a left when the audience is taking away. Oh, shit.

You know what I'm saying? That was favorite comedy. I put one up and went, dicks, if my dick's big, this dick, and talk about it. I went the other way. You devimmed him. He did tell you, he did tell you his favorite kind of comedy I think we all do know.

Is my favorite style of comedy. Absurdity. Absurdity. That's what I went. I've taken a workshop and now I know. DVM. DvM. Anybody would have saw Dix and went up

and went Dix, ugly. But that's not the DvM way. Nah, dude, I went, Dix. I hate Dix. Men named Richard. Men. Me and Dan.

You are mean. Men are mean. when I was younger When I was younger I loved dicks I was a dick You know what I'm stand I love mean people

But now I hate dicks I have serenity Dix to me Nicknames Nicknames y'all He goes Nicknames are fucking Because everyone had a nickname

Right It was like it was good Everybody had nicknames with each other And he goes And he goes what's your name And the guy just had a name That there was nothing So you could do with

And then he goes How about your name he goes, he's like, Ray, he's like, but it's, that is a nickname. And he goes, that's not what I mean. Not playing along. Stop it, you're not doing it right. He goes, it's not what I mean. No, that's a different kind of nickname.

God damn it. God damn it, that's a short name. My bloodletting was probably my best piece of the night. Yes, Bobby's blood. You don't hear all this, by the way. We have the tape. We'll play this tomorrow. We'll play it tomorrow.

The tapes from the cellar. But Bobby goes, I don't remember much of it. He just goes, bloodletting. He goes, that's like a thing, you know. People, that's how they used to, like, if he was sick, they'd be like, they'd cut you open and try to just let it bleed out. He goes, George Washington did that. No, no, no, I went, I went, George Washington did that.

I went, I think. Yeah, I think. I think that's like, I must have freaked him in the room. He's like, I think, right? Like, that's a thing. Damn, dude. You should have taken that shit to a coffee house. They would have carried you out of there.

Ari's here, right? I guess we'll just watch the intro again and let Ari get a taste the intro. and then we'll all start, we'll all go in. Could you not watch the intro over and over again? There's so much, I know that there's so much more. I don't, I'm very, I'm very, I want, I want a big hit now. I've had a little bit of key-up. I'm saying, but we're going to get the first joke in, Jay, please.

We have time. Well, Ari's here. Yeah. I'm saying Ari's walking in, so I'm saying before a commercial break, you should, we should get him. Is he going to look homeless? Yeah, oh, he looks like they caught a, like the Unabomber's assistant. Oh, he does. Like, yeah, they found him in the woods, making,

fucking play it like with building schematics I was a picture I was just gonna look like Richard Dreyfus and jaws I'm Richard Dreyfus not Richard Dreyfus the guy the sea captain Quint Quinn Quinn Quint Um whatever you guys have you guys want to play it but we're gonna have to

take a break in like what seven minutes eight minutes Oh yeah let's get the first joke And then we come back Do we have reads today? No Oh we have to take the break What happens is Nikki Glazer still take those from you guys Yeah yeah yeah

She's not even here She fucking... She took them with her. She goes, I'm going to take those reads with me. Fuck you guys. We were meeting tomorrow with him. Yes. Oh, God.

Oh, my God. He looks like a mayoral candidate from San Francisco in the 70s. How do you walk the street and not get attacked? You look like you're running for Hayd Ashbury mayor. Hey, what's up? It's flowers. Ari went back to his roots.

Yeah. Oh, so good to see you, dude. You came on a good day. Yeah. There's no windows. Who am I gonna ass here? Oh, man. I'm no longer employed here,

so you could get buck-ass naked. I want that cock swangin. Go give Bobby a hug. You fucking fed my dog jelly beans. We've been laughing. We were hanging out with Ari. He was at our apartment, and he was eating,

I had jelly beans on the table, he was eating him, and then he kept putting his hand to Myrtle's mouth. Katie was laughing about me going from joking to serious because I went, Hey, can you not feed my dog jelly beans? She's been saying that all weekend.

Don't feed my dog jelly beans. She goes, hey, can you please not feed my dog jelly beans? I'm like, I'm not feeding you. I was one of those moments where I got serious. Hey, could you not feed my dog jelly beans? All right, please don't. I have to clean up the diarrhea. You guys are going to beat yourself?

I didn't. All right, stop. We have to get to it. We have a short amount of time. We have a long way to go in a short time to get there. Is this a piece of shit J years? Put on the headphones. No, put on the headphones.

Piece of shit's not even the right thing for it. This is my first... Oh. This is my first months in comedy within the first year, only black shows. Yeah. And this is the laugh. This is now where I feel probably my most confident, the laugh house where I reign supreme on Thursdays behind only a one Kevin Hart. Crazy.

That you shot up the rankings on Thursday to you v. Little Kev the bastard. I was doing all. I was pretty confident and pretty comfortable on Thursdays. Just watch this. telling you about watching this and I'll tell you this this is what gets me about it is I don't see what anyone saw to let me continue past this point that's what I'm saying I don't understand why I've done shows besides here with the way I've sounded already now a right let me catch you up the yeah in the woo you're going to be hearing yeah is the

woman who provided the tape yeah well it's jays fresh so the black has of supporting so the black audience is not in fact enthused to c jay no jay jay jay jay jay He's travel with an encouraging white girl from the get-out. I feel like black rooms... He doesn't just live with one. He's had one. I feel like black rooms have, like, shitty white comments the way that China will just invite any blonde chick to a party.

Yes. Look, look how cool we are. She is a blonde, round-eyed woman. Absolutely. It's funny you say white comic. I start... I start... You'll hear, but right out of the gate you're going to allow.

Let's go, let's go. Yeah. That's not your... No, no one can get past DJ Cut It. It's pre-long-Hare. I do the... That's pre-Long-Hare. I do the years before Long-Hare. It's pre-Fubu, dude.

This is pre-Isabella existing. You know Jay practice his cut-it in the mirror. You got to pause? You don't know Keith Robinson at this point? Probably not, no. He was in the back. You know, I want to take that kid to New York City. They'll eat him alive.

And I'm here to watcher. Tell the white girl to beat it. And I'll never have a problem with my blood pressure. Now, I'll bring this white kid up to New York City. This is not a camera. This is a fucking Sony handy cam being held. Oh, my God. Start over, please.

Because I didn't know that was you. I was like, that's the MC for sure. That's T. Can I just say something right now? I'm so glad we didn't do this yesterday. That's just the fucking. Oh, yeah. That's Tue Ray hosting.

Start again. Did they bring up two guys? gay. Nice. Oh. I'm right. All right. You know, good? Jamie.

Anybody ready to laugh now? Woo! Shut up. So nervous. This is primarily an all black club. I play. I'm usually all black club. Hold on.

I'm sorry. Jay, can I tell you it's not what you're saying as much as how you're saying it? Of course. Because you're leaking it out. You're going, Hey, I'm just going to say I primarily, uh, primarily perform in front of I don't even. Not gonna try when you ever.

Yeah, I ain't gonna say the things you want me to say. Like gay birds. You ask how they're doing too many times. Of course. Just to get set. They're just showing the fear. Ari, wait to hear, we've already heard a little bit past this. I mean, literally a few sentences past this.

And my whole beginning, all we've gotten to is me smoothing things over before I start. I start informing them that I'm white, it's okay. He cuts the music and then he, what about the key? What about the kids? The people. Here's my impression of anyone black in the crowd right here. Yes. For a second, although this was Blazoned Thursdays where I was.

Blazoned. Two-rays blazing Thursdays? Yeah. I love that they put the white girl in the back. Woo! Yeah! Yeah, JJ! Go birds.

Go birds. Do birds. You swear I don't try to win you guys over. No special. I'm trying to pull those special moves, talk about rap or rappers or rapping. Oh, you're just alienating them. Hey, you guys are only into rap? Hey, I know you guys usually move to the sound of a rhythmic beat.

And y'all like your words to rhyme. You're bred to be athletes. I do stuff better than that. This better be fucking good. Wow, look at that shitty fucking beard. That stupid beard. clearly doesn't connect it's like a bridge that went out and you're like Google Maps goes this one my shit my beard didn't connect to my mustache till four years ago yeah oh my god look at

his fucking neffatiti hoop earrings he has by the way hadn't figured out how to handle the eyebrows just yet either wow I don't mind them though they look like inch worms yeah yeah you look like Ben Shapiro a little caterpillar fucking eyebrows oh my god go go go go go go I get you guys to be on my side shit it's funny I'm funny laugh please If I suck boo-mey off the stage, you know what I mean? Just gave my fair chance. I don't try to win you guys over. They are already.

I know. Wait, something's coming. That's something's coming face right there. Don't move. That's a mean. That's a mean picture. Let's break. Let's break.

We got to take a break. God damn it. Come on. Hold on, guys. You got a break like this. I got to look up with a light. I got to tell you was, Jim McClure said to me very outside. under no uncertain terms.

Describe the hell out of everything you're seeing in this video. That's really funny. Dan Soder is on the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour, and he's going to be at the Paramount Huntington. Set two shows, right? Yeah, 930. 930 is still available, Long Island Saturday, April 4th, and after that he's going to be in Charlotte, Durham, North Carolina.

Munhall, PA? Yeah, it's like trying to be Pittsburgh. Or it's outside of Pittsburgh. I like these theater cities are always, like, right outside the major city. Yeah. Timonium. Yeah.

Well, at first I said Pittsburgh, and then people in Pittsburgh are like, dude, that's not fucking Pittsburgh. It's one haul. Let's go with the credits. We have... My A.M.A.M.A. 6 minutes ago. Cleveland and Columbus, Ohio, for tickets and all of his dates. Go.

Go. Listen to his podcast. Soterre available wherever you listen. Yeah. Ari Sheffier's new storytelling show. The end. Premiers. April 16th.

Pre-order it right now at Ari Shafir.com. And, of course, listen to Ari's podcast. You'd be tripping available wherever you listen to podcasts. All three of these guys have done the show. This weekend, I mean, that's all I want to get. This weekend, I'm in Desert Ridge and Tempe. We'll be right back. Arizona.

Big J. Erickson, J.commoner.