The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Waiting On A Floss (feat. Colin Quinn)

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

The great Colin Quinn is live in-studio to hear the gang tell stories of Rolling Stones concert. Jay, Bobby, Christine, and friends saw The Stones in New Jersey, surrounded by drunks and hams. Bob's son Max rates the attendees on their likability. Colin's latest special "Our Time Is Up" is out on YouTube now! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly It's Monday we're back we used to do make me hot feel it What a concert what a weekend God bless America not to get too Not to get too right-wing You're right. When someone said to me. Really infuriated me. You know, and somebody... That stay with you when I said it, I didn't realize how much I was going to hit you. Well, Jay was like, yo, somebody DM me.

And it's like, dude, I don't need to know. No, it wasn't, nobody we know. It was just like a fan thing. Colin, you have no sound in your headphones? He didn't turn it up. I was trying to be professional. Oh, we're not professional here. The music was too loud. Okay, got it. We talk it. It's a bad mix. Anyway, um, what happened at the concert? Well, first we should say, of course, the Bonfire Faction Talks Series XM 103, Big Jay Okerson, the great Robert Kelly, joining us

in the studio for the whole show, everybody. He's going to be a soul joles and Pottstown PA Saturday June 1st after that Minneapolis Beverly Massachusetts, but so comedy mothership Why is he by the way that Beverly Massachusetts gig is where Richie drivers cat boot off the safety of the day Why do your boots? It's the great Colin Quinn everybody yeah Our time is up his new special now streaming on YouTube Thanks for hanging out with us, buddy We were talking about so much before this 45 minutes of show before the show really did

I wanted to say save for the show, but you know you guys are pros I didn't want to be that guy there's Dan Soder talk going on we're talking about how the crew just still loves Dan loves Dan They also he takes him out for lunch or dinner. They lament him in a way that's not realistic. They don't remember all the dust-ups and the skirmishes. Is that for me? Jacob and Dan barely got along for the first two years. They were always button heads. And then now he's gone.

It's the same thing I used to do. I said, that's why I keep telling them, I go, guys, you should go hang out on Dan's couch with him and do the show because this is what happened. I said to my mom when I was younger, one time too many, it wouldn't be like this if I lived with dad and instead of just telling me my father didn't want me, she sent me there to live with him

and I was like, oh yeah, this does suck. I gotta go back with my mom. Sure, you guys need an important lesson. My mom did the same thing. she called my dad and he said no Yeah, no my dad took me but I they didn't seem to want me there when I was there Yeah, absolutely so go hang out with Dan Like Dan's Professional intro of the show either.

It just bugged me. It's like you know I joke I do impressions I like to joke around but I could be serious if the occasion calls for it. Oh yeah. Really aggravated me. He's working. It's just he's just a hired gig now that's it he just does our little intros for us. He's a professional broadcaster. That's what bugged me that he probably thought of that. Now it's like I can do it correctly. He left the show to become a a voiceover artist now it is our voiceovers for us which is great thank you mix up something for the holiday special perhaps appreciate that appreciate that buddy Lou loves it here now DJ Lou loves it here that's something I wonder about black Lou and Jacob I think If a spot opened up, it'd old Casa de Soda.

There's all, yeah. DJ Lou from the get-go, he's a team player, but you can flip Jacob with a hamburger and a fry real quick. Yeah, bunless for sure. It's, no, absolutely. We hear about this Tad's Steakhouse. Tad's, really?

We took these, is that where it was? No, what is it? Tad's. Oh,. Tad's, really? We took these, is that where it was? No, what is it? Tad's. Oh, because Tad's used to be that. It's Tad's. It's not a steakhouse, it's an Applebee's. It's a step above Applebee's. It's a Ponderosa.

It's a step above those. It's a Ponderosa. It's a Sizzler. Is it a nice steakhouse or is it just like? It's not a steakhouse. No, it's like. Shit. Thank you.

Hello. We're not there for the food, it's like... Shit. Thank you. No! We're not there for the food. We're there for the company of Dan. Didn't you? Whoa! Oh, that's good. I guess that's why we have to bring you to fancy places like Dan Tanna's in Los Angeles

because our company sucks. Yeah, like Del Frisco's downtown, downstairs. Whoa! Yeah. Oh yeah, man, remember that? Was it nice? Remember those beautiful, beautiful meals we took you guys to?

Well, I'm glad Dan's buying you a $7 sirloin. Yeah, and pretending it's ironic, he's just being cheap. What, is he getting appetizers too, guys? Yeah. It's not a competition. Oh, they have asparagus, it must be great. It must be good.

It's not. Christine loved it. No, I didn't. Christine did. Christine went. If we wonder what Christine thinks about it, we'll ask Dylan. Oh yeah, everyone's been taught. The buzz is out there that Dylan's not in the room, is he?

No. Dylan came up and Colin doesn't know Dylan from a hole in the wall and Dylan walks up, says hi to everybody. I introduce him to Colin, says Dylan's doing video for us today, and then he kissed Christine on the head. And that was the entire talk until we came upstairs. He gave Jay a yo, gave me a backwards peace. You didn't even look at Bob, he just gave you a backwards peace. Backwards peace.

He gave me a handshake, like, give us a Ray Liotta and good fellas, and he gives the handshake to the guy, the waiter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Christine, a nice kiss on the head. And he did it gently like, hey, guess what? Somebody stop me if you got balls. And tried to sneak it in.

He made eye contact with all three of us. Any of you dudes want to step up and stop this? And we unanimously all said no. We just took it. We don't want none of that dealing. Yeah, you should just put his dick on her shoulder at that point. And we unanimously all said no we just took it You should just put his dick on her shoulder at that point get it over with prove your point No, don't young Dylan is a Family friend. Yeah family friend. It's nice now I don't like when they have AC in the studios that usually makes it too comfortable don't bring listen to me

I'm a second. Please don't do this fucking boil it no stop stop I'm boiling I know we're all a little hot wait a second is it hold on where's the music okay everybody needs to just be cool Jay okay Colin look at Jay everything's got to be fine you're a little warm Okay Jacob Do you have layers? Yeah? I'm good. You're good. You're good Should this? Jacob Jacob, I'm not I'm not saying it in crazy. I make it a tense but Jacob Should I look who's back have Christine the med kisser lower the temperature? I would could you

Christine, lower the temperature. I would. Could you possibly put something else on should you get cold? This is about our guest's comfort. I say yes. Christine? Please? She already did it. What is happening?

If you could lower the air. Hang on Colin, just hang in there. Jay's got this. Trust me. Colin, you should be cool in a little bit. And everything's gonna be fine. You will bit. And everything's gonna be fine. And everything's gonna be fine. We're gonna be alright.

Everything's alright. Temperature's down. Crisis averted. Thank you, Lou. Woo! Jacob goes crazy, gets angry. Oh my god, put the music back on again, Lou. Hang on a second. Colin? Jacob doesn't get crazy. Cold oh my god, but the music back on again Lou hang on a second. Oh Jesus Christ Colin

Jacob doesn't get crazy Guy just likes a warm room. I don't I like warmth too. All right relax. This was too much Relax, I understand chill Temperatures vary from day to day. You know, sometimes people want to be a little cooler and a little hot Absolutely, there's no reason to make it a whole thing. All right. We're just a couple guys Some ugly situation, okay Okay, so Situation okay, it was uh, it was tense it could tense. It was a week. It was a tense week It was a last week. It was this

last two weeks Let in the last week the weekend. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually been a nine year fight. Nice. Hang on a second. Christine, Lou, put the music on again. Christine? No reason to stir up shit.

And remind him this has been a recurring problem. Okay? Jacob, you understand? She was just trying to make some radio talk bud. Turn the fucking heat up. Enough of this shit. Jacob, calm down. Jesus Christ. We're just trying to get Colin radio talk bud. Turn the fucking heat up. Enough of this shit. Jacob, calm down. Jesus Christ. We're just trying to get Colin a little cooled off, okay? Everyone blow me and lick my cowboy balls. Fuck.

Jesus Christ. Damn. When's the next big Ted's outing? When you and Dan get back from your outing. When he makes the call? You're always waiting for the call? Jacob, what made you pick Ted's? Close to work. Oh, you picked it. I picked it it. Oh it's not a Dan thing? No, but Dan

did this. He didn't argue. Yeah. Why don't you say Del Frisco's? I want Del Frisco's. Oh I guess you whores only have fancy tastes when it comes to me and Bobby I guess huh? Okay, okay, I understand. We gotta take you out to the fancy places. We last second decided to not take the crew to Chateau Marmont. Oh. After Dantanis.

We thought better of it, you know why? Feel like they didn't appreciate it enough. What are we gonna do at Chateau Marmont after Dantanis? Call it a Balushi? No, no, no, different night, different night. Instead we did a barbecue oh we did barbecue what a pool the whole thing but then does take him to franchise steak once of a month so that's probably probably rules where should I where should we go

with them to keep in touch nowhere yeah cut him off permission meanwhile they talk every day Jacob He was criticized with the idea. Jacob, stop sawing the limb off. Cut it off. Cut it the fuck off. Never again. Cut off all communication. It was like Scientology.

You're with us or you're with Dan. You guys don't get it. He's trying to keep their options open. Of course. No, they're absolutely keeping their options open. It's the only levers they have. They haven't fully bought back into the new show. Yeah. Sons of bitches I have a D that DJ Lou has did you lose look you've got an inside I've got the inside angle. I was that Dan show a couple of weeks ago, and it's in his apartment

So you're really we can't technically call that a show Loose dog comes in once in a while. Technically, it's not a house. It's an apartment. Yes. It's a room and an apartment. And then you open up baseball cards. Jacob, you'll be in charge of getting baseball cards, packages. I was pretty good at that, by the way. Lou, you can calculate the gum.

I get no feedback on my spec. You know, you work on comedy a whole court. Here's the ball that's calculate the gum. I get no feedback on my spec. You know, you're working on comedy a whole court. Here's what bothers me the most. You work on comedy trying to put your act together. You put together your specialties and your bra. And then 80 people come up to you. One goes, hey, that special was good. 80 people go, I saw the baseball card thing. You really knew it was so insane.

And it's like, I don't give a goddamn. Why? Oh, man, now I need to make sure at least 100 people say something about this show to you on the road, or else they're going to run to Dan. Yeah. 80 out of 100 people come something about this show to you on the road or else they're gonna run to Dan You need a hundred people come up to me say I know you from Dan's daughter's new show I know it's basketball cards. I think it changes right? It's all it's different stuff for different people. Oh, okay You a basketball that's Dan. He I didn't open up any cards Dan caters to everybody

I don't think I had cards either Bob you didn't because you don't know any of the Celtics Well, they could open up a wrestling card or oh something like that. I would have known okay I know I know sports I think me and you did it before the cards was the thing before the the hook is nice the niche Yeah, did you guys discuss that over at Ted's did you guys tell maybe start opening cards of people? Do you give them free production advice and today did Dan like stop by going, hey listen, I love those guys, I hope the show's going great just as an opening to Bad Mouth'em.

Oh for sure, I hope it's going great. But be honest, oh I promise you, Jacob has said before, show's never been the same without you. I promise you. And then Jay's like, you know what, it's a different show. Dan tried to be Mr. Magnanimous. Yeah, he goes, no, no, no, I know, it's a different thing.

That's actually what the hires up say. That's it? It's a different show. That's actually what the hires up say. It's a different show. Jay actually says that to me. And Black Lou does this, where he goes, is the show, it was better when I was there, wasn't it? And Black Lou just gives weird nods, like a pain's in the say, but he says it anyway.

And then he goes to the waiter. It just does. Do you have any mayonnaise? I need mayonnaise. Hey Jacob. He needs it for his steak. Jacob, have you ever, have you ever talked shit about the show?

No. Wow. That was a pause. We don't bad mouth the show. All right, good. No, all right, there you go. We love the show. So what was the playlist of the Stones last night?

I think we're all interested. If that song, Miss You, was in the playlist, I would have walked out. It wasn't. I hate that song. Do you really? It stinks. I like that song.

I'm telling you right now, the concert was the best concert I've ever been to. The greatest, right? I think at one point, what was the song with the girl? Give Me Shelter. Give Me Shelter. That was that performance of that song we saw, I said to Bobby right after I go,

that might be one of the top three Things I've ever seen in a concert in my life. That was amazing. It was the top thing for me. I mean I I was totally Flipping out watch that woman and Mick Jagger and that stage comes out to us. So they were right next to us. Oh I mean you could you could touch him and stay and she she that she's a bad bitch. Who is she? I don't know. They dressed her up like Tina Turner and sent her out there, but she was fantastic. She was unbelievable.

You can probably find out what her name is. There's footage of them doing it, right? Yeah, I'm looking for one for her. It was the fastest concert I've ever been to. It seemed like it was an hour. And they did 20 songs. Every song was great, except for two. Yeah, the new song's fine. I love the new song. I thought the new song was great except for two. Yeah, I don't, the new song's fine.

I love the new song. I thought the new song was great. I tell you what I really, the song I forgot. That video was embarrassing on the new song. You ever see the video unless they're trying to make fun of videos, was that what it was? No. Ironic, it was like a Cinderella video.

With the Sydney Sweeney girl in the car, right? Yes, yes. I don't hate the new song. I think it's... No, but the video. I wanted to go with trashing something. I liked this one, that's why I went right for the video, the thing I hated.

I can argue, I can argue this all the time, there's something, once you've lost genuine, like, wherever the struggle, whatever it was that like fed your writing, something about musicians, success eradicates all of that. That's why we're all at the top of our game right now. We are killing it. Our comedy's never been better.

I mean, you could argue it happens, I guess, in comedy too, but in comedy though, if you keep the same wit and observation of the world, it doesn't really matter Where you're at in life something about writing? Lyrics that's gonna hit people in the guts is hard to do from like a penthouse apartment But it's also because a lot of motion. They're not getting that love lost shit. Yeah, they're Banging everybody and then moving along then I'll go my ex

You know, I mean, they don't know what it feels like but I think like long-term success in the fact that I believe It's impossible right now for Metallica to write a fantastic song sure well. I was kind of agreeing with you, but go on He goes, but I and I was like why say but just go yes, and I thought you know I Dan left I Thought you were saying more in the short Hey guys, I'm gonna take you to dinner. I thought you were saying in the shorter term of success. Shut up and let us finish trashing you. Go ahead. Fucking talk it over as smashing. I don't like it. I don't sell it. No, but you're right. It's true. Nobody writes a great song after their first couple

albums. But can you write? I don't think it's that how many great songs Can you fucking write I mean how many but they all seem to happen at the beginning is what he's saying It's true. Yeah, the fact you could have ten in your first like two three years and then Can't make another one in your 17th 18th and 19th years But is it because people are just like now you're trying to on like I always think of Springsteen, you know He figured after The River, he's the one guy that kind of sort of had a couple of hits later,

he's probably like, I got the formula. And after that people are like, nope. And every concert he's like, and now guys I've played three hours of the hits, how about this one? People are like, no. Yeah, but he also brought his wife on stage. That sucks.

Poor Keith Richards. That's when you know you're like, I'm bored. Keith Richards played two songs back-to-back Yeah Leasing first one was a new one that the entire stadium sat down for and then he did little T&A which is great I went to get hamburgers and chicken fingers at that time. Yeah, I walked out right at the second song was awesome His solo career was a nightmare, but so was mix really. Yeah, but but his was Abominable. Yeah, but Mick was Mick's really. Yeah. But his was abominable.

Yeah, but Mick got to go do like Free Jack and weird movies and stuff. Free Jack. What was in Free Jack? That was a big sell. Wasn't he in something else too? Couple things. Yeah, he was in a couple things.

Mick Jagger's always popped up. Mick Jagger though, I'll tell you, I was a little nervous that he was gonna be, you know, he's 80, I thought he was gonna kinda be a, he ran like, he was all over the place. I mean, he's definitely drinking baby blood backstage or something. His abs.

Well you know it's funny because even back in the old days they used to say Keith Richards would get his blood changed in Switzerland. Back when I was, like the late 70s, that was like the rumor. And now people literally do get their blood changed. So he was doing it and it does work. Dana White gets his blood changed.

This guy's been drinking and chain smoking his whole life. Do you think all the things, all those old wives tales are true? So they definitely pumped. All the late 70s ones, yes. They had the pump come out of Rod Stewart's stomach because he blew too many guys. That was true.

Do you think my local newsman, Jerry Pinnacoli, really put a gerbil up his ass? That was true, but. I knew Jerry Pinnacoli. Jerry Pinnacoli. Jim Norton had have come pumped out of his stomach. Yes. Jim Norton did. come pumped out of his stomach. Yes. Jim Norton did.

But he did an hour about it. Yeah, that was ours was Jerry Pentecolli put a gerbil up his ass. Yeah. And then I think he died in a plane accident. The rest of the world was Richard Gere, but we'll take Jerry Pentecolli. Yeah, yeah.

We didn't get to Richard Gere yet. From Northeast Philadelphia. Jerry Pentecolli. We never even questioned the gerbil up the ass, like why? Yeah. Like, why would you put a live animal up your ass? Like, what would that do? It must have been done at some point.

Or you have to, it would be interesting to find who's the patient zero who made the fake lie up first. And it just became a thing. It was the guy who was trying to get gerbils into America from South America to sell his pets. He was like, yeah, oh, so it was by design. Like, I have to get these up here for a purpose. I remember my friend when that story came out,

he goes, Jesus, how bored could you get? He goes, get a puff basketball or something. Is this it? Yes, but her name's Chanel Haynes and she is a Tina Turner impersonator. She was Tina Turner in the musical. She's trans? That doesn't blow my mind. A Tina Turner impersonator, she was Tina Turner in the musical. She's trans. That didn't blow my mind.

A Tina Turner impersonator. She's trans. Go on, let's watch. Just fair. I think this is cute to the right part. She's great. Look at those two ghouls. I know.

I tell you what, though. They didn't move four feet the whole concert. Oh Jesus. Oof. That's a guy. It's not a guy. She does have like Saquon Barkley thighs though. Look at those things ready to bust through a line.

She's great. And we were literally sitting kind of like where this is being shot from. Wow. This is my video. You really shot the whole concert. I sold it to TMZ. I made $10,000. You sold it to Andrew... Nice.

Nice. Wow, she is amazing. She is. She could really say. But he was moving. He's 80 years old. She is amazing. She is. She can really sing. But he was moving. He is moving. 80 years old. He doesn't stop moving from the time he comes out

into the end of the concert. My favorite part was he has like five or six costume changes and everyone comes with a striptease. So he starts with the shirt buttoned up with a jacket over it. Wow. And then he flings the jacket around his head and then slowly unbuttons the shirt.

So it flies away. And then the shirt start coming off the shoulder. Very early Dove Davidoff. Where the shirt comes off the shoulders a bunch. That's crazy. You guys remember early Davidoff? When he sat on the piano like a gargoyle. It was, yeah, the concert was fantastic.

I had a couple of, we had a funny things. We went early and tailgated. We got there way early Which I loved it ended up being really fun and it moved quick but like when we first got there we were like, I think if we ate sandwiches we were all like We got three more hours left and they go on stage. So it was pretty wild opened We know we didn't named Lawrence. We've never heard of we didn't even go in We were in the parking lot. We gave them zero respect I didn't even plan on that. I planned on not going in at all. I thought the outside though went by quick

We did we were playing football. We had Sandwiches and drinks and I had cigars. They were washed down. Josh had a Myers you could just listen to. Yeah, Josh talked a lot, he's like a chimpanzee, you could just throw him nuggets of food and he'd catch them in his mouth and eat them. So we were sitting in our thing, Josh was wearing sunglasses at nighttime inside the whole time. Oh, he left in the middle of a song to get,

we just ate, everybody ate. We had how many, we had subs up the ass. Up the ass. We had all kinds of food. What song? He left in the middle of a song, came back with popcorn. He went on a. Depends what song it was.

I think it was Can't Always Get What You Want. Oh my God, that's sickening. How dare he? He came back with popcorn and then he ate popcorn and then I was like I'm gonna get Max something do you want? And he goes I can eat. I said what you're supposed to say really when you're just watching the concert not having anything.

Bobby did the nice can I get you something? You guys hungry at all? You want something to eat? No no I'm okay. I'm okay. You know just like whatever you know if he grabs something he does but you say no Christine says no and he goes you want to ask Josh? You he has Josh. He's gonna say you want something and he goes And he goes yeah, and I was like

Josh you hungry good. I could eat some You got him a burger. Yeah, he's like a guy from Popeye I can't pay you Tuesday for hamburger today, but Josh so when he was eating his popcorn he reached over to me and a guy, damn I can't say mine without getting in trouble on the radio, it's pretty good. Hispanic, first thing that happened next to us was there was two older black people and two older white people and they were like separate, they were in a reverse Oreo though. The black people on the outside and the older white people on the inside

which already I started doing a wonderful voice for this black guy. It was some kind of old jazz player thing. Who did? Me, I was. Oh. He had to take up the voices since Dan Love. Yeah, you know, I was like, oh man, I saw Mick Jagger.

This boy, he still lost it. I'll tell you what, you still get that buzzy, you still get that money. I like it, it's an ed what you still get that bussy. You still get that money. I like it It's an edgier version. Yeah. Yeah so I was doing that guy's voice for a while then two Hispanic couples came up because They had the same seats same tickets. Oh boy. So and yes deals meal

Yeah, and then it starts getting into a what no, I'm telling you you're in the wrong seat No, you're in the right. Everyone's in the wrong seat. Why? But that's how they start the concert So it's starting the lights good everybody goes nuts and these people like but it's my seat. Don't you see my seats? Then they were going so Josh is eating popcorn while we're watching this and I made a joke about the guy The Hispanic guy next to me I Was Mick Jagger. I said the word Mick Jagger, but take out Mick and make it Hispanic guy, yeah

Sure. No, no, but that was safer but Spanish Sure no no, but that was safer, but Spanish yeah, you know not Mick got it What would you call me Jagger if he was Spanish? I'd call him Miguel. Yeah Yes, that's why you've been on Broadway It's we've been on Broadway and I'm in studio three at serious except And then Josh goes there's nobody else in this whole building, by the way. It's a little weird. Eating popcorn, I said that in his ear, and then he goes, he goes, oh, he goes, that's good.

He goes, I was gonna say, lo-flonely boys, and I mean, rained chewed popcorn. Well, he was popcorning a ceiling. It decorated my arm And then he's laughs sorry and then more He's like having a pet chimpanzee there's nothing else like him there's one Josh Eddermeyers and they broke the mold he is Out of control. I look over at one point in the middle of a great song. He's Flossing his teeth. Yes, that's right. He was flossing. Listen to me. I look over at one point in the middle of a great song, he's flossing his teeth. Yes, that's right.

He was flossing. Listen to me. I look over at one point, I go, he flossed all four quadrants. Colin, look. Not just a little nougat. Look it. What the hell? I was dying.

I felt like I was on drugs. I was dying laughing so hard because I was like, you're flossing your teeth with sunglasses on at night while the Rolling Stones are playing. Yes. No, that's insane. All four quadrants. Not the part where he had a piece of popcorn.

He did them all. Oh my God. He's crazy. Top and bottom. Well, here's the thing about him. Now I'm glad you guys brought him up. First of all, where the hell did he come from? He just appeared two years ago.

He's Jay's pet. He's Jay's pet. Listen. I love me some Josh Edelman's for sure. He came from LA two years ago. A little more than two years ago, I'd say now. Hey, what's up? I'm BK Burglar, Bob Kelly, AKA The Rooster.

Shkllllllllllllll I'm Big Jay Okerson. I have one aka I'm a cowboy look if you love the bonfire which we know you do you this is just half of the show that's right it's the podcast version everybody so if you want to hear the whole thing go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire to get the whole thing yeah you get tons of other entertainment too it's not just, you got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show. You can go to all kinds of other shows.

And you know what, tell a friend. But most importantly, this show. Yeah, this show, just go to this show. Do something resembling anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was in an LA comic. He always ran that god damn comedy jam show. Oh, that's who he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was in LA comic. He always ran that god damn comedy jam show. Oh, that's who he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he came to New York,

started getting in New York. I tell you what, when I first met him, I was annoyed a little bit, but now I couldn't imagine going to a concert without him. Oh, yeah. Now here, this is the kicker. We had all these extra subs. We're leaving the concert.

Oh, yes, I'm so happy we got to this. Well, explain, you guys were trying to get out, you were trying to beat the traffic, we had to wait for some people. I got Don, I got Max, we're out, we had such good seats, we're out, we get to the car and we beat all the traffic. We made it home in a half hour, by the way, we were home.

Jay, he was like, dude, go, we gotta wait, you guys go if you want, don't worry about it. I go, okay, cool. I look over at Don, she's talking to Josh, I'm like, dude, go. We gotta wait, you guys go if you want. Don't worry about it. I go, okay, cool. I look over at Dawn, she's talking to Josh. I'm like, what the fuck? I go over, he's like, they had extra subs. And he's like, okay. Just leave one of the subs on the roof of the car,

Jay's car, but don't leave one of the chicken cutlets if you can find the Italian. But the Italian, I think it's the American. Leave the American, because the Italian had the gabagol and I'm not in I don't want the spicy and Donald's like okay all right I'm like let's fuck you fuck him but he gets you so panicky you're so wrapped in it that Bobby after sends me like though what an amazing night blah blah blah text still the little ticks in and he texts me also was it deal right was it the correct sub for Josh?

Who gives a fuck? No, I wanted it not to be. Oh, okay, I thought you were saying it was like, it was the right sub, wasn't it? When I get to the car, she starts going through the subs, I go grab a fucking sub and stick it on the fucking door. Any sub. Any sub.

Gives a shit. I do not give a fuck. Yeah, what the hell? I go, put the hook. Oh, it's chicken. Just put them all on the fucking door, I don't care. She's like, he only wanted the, I go, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, what the hell? I go, put the hook. Oh, it's chicken. Just put them all on the fucking door, I don't care. She's like, he only wanted the, I go, I don't give a fuck. Let's go, yeah, you're trying to load up and get out.

You're chasing traffic, yeah. It's great. Dawn is like, he just wanted the Italian, but he didn't want the shut the fuck up. Well, you're completely right. It's hard to go to one without him. I, listen, there's nothing better. I'm addicted to it. He's like, he's like spicy shit. I want to go to Ted's without him. I listen. There's nothing better. I am addicted to

it. He's like spicy shit. I want to go to Ted's with him. He'll go. This is my call for a Ted Steakhouse run. Oh, he'll go. He'll go. Cock's like a popcorn. Who gets popcorn in the fucking

horror movie? Who walks out in the middle of you can't always get what you want. That's the reverent time. He's supposed to sit there quietly and go, hey, you what the stones this is like a great song. I saw I went to a Script there he is. I love it Nuts that he has a floss pick Also, Josh doesn't think Josh doesn't think that a flossing. Like he doesn't, I don't think he even has a scent. I wouldn't do that for no other reason unless I had to. Something was like there bothering me.

Popcorn. Sure, but I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't have to do my entire mouth if I had a thing like that. I gotta get it out. Exactly. He did, like he just did a whole program. Yeah, I'd pretend I was reaching down for the time I shoe and then I'd do a good one. Yeah. And save it for home. Christ almighty. He doesn't realize that it's like you're flinging little particles.

When you flush your teeth, there's stuff on, what do you do with that? By that time you could see I was defeated because he had already just right from the tap just spit 85 popcorn pellets all over my body. Laughing, laughing. Oh, I was a little swoonly, boys. I spit 85 popcorn pellets all over my body. Laughing, laughing. Oh, I was a little swoonly, boys.

Instead of just laughing at your joke, he had to add his arms. He spit and he also tried to top you. He also said that yours was better, I was going to say. It rained it on me. Here's the funny part though, the guy next to him, this drunk guy, came up out of nowhere and stood next to, just started talking to Jay, which is making me so happy. No, no, no, you don't know what happened to lead up to that.

It's a mistake. Just that fat jersey guy, shirt doesn't fit, shit face. Dominican wife, they were the ones that won the seats in the seat battle. I was wondering who won the seats. The Hispanics. The Dominicans always win. You're not gonna play.

Everybody else was in the wrong seat. They accepted. You're not gonna play. Everybody else was in the wrong seat. They accepted. You're not gonna meet a black couple that hangs out with a white couple. No. She did like the, I'm showing them my tickets, what are we talking about? But then they were super into the Stones, I will say,

which I did find strange. Super into beer too, because he went for beer four times. Yeah, the guy went for beer and the piss and definitely do coke multiple times. The worst part is every time he went by, he had do a new clip. Hey guys you know it's better if you stand up. This guy is and we discussed it on the show for years and years and I brought this up with Bobby too. I think it's every comedian's uh like hate. What? A ham. A fucking ham. Who's a ham? Somebody who's a ham a fucking ham ham somebody who's a ham. Yeah, not funny a

Ham the guy who acts like he trips about Well, you missed those. Oh, yeah, you like a ham. I do I believe you So you believe I trip every time I've said this on set every time they're mopping in my lobby I go hey guys and pretend I slip on the on the oh, you're a no. No, listen to me I'm gonna tell you right now the biggest ham of the world I call him in the morning and he would be always going through his lobby and then he would go to the Japanese bakery him talking to the I didn't realize he's listed a dainty life oh he loved it Japanese bakery for a coffee you can only get one time a month

he goes in hey hey hey ladies. Hey ladies. Yeah. Hey ladies. Hi ladies, they're like, hi, how are you? Oh, they love him. You got the, you got the. I put Bobby on the phone with him a bunch of times. Yeah, but Haley's isn't a ham. No, he was not.

I'm hamming it up, believe me. I'm not always like, you open the door and hit your foot with it and you go like, oh, oh, oh. No, but I'll make a little comment about, oh, that looks like a good trait there. That's the worst. He's the worst. I put Bobby on with him. And I go, oh, and he's about, oh, that looks like a good trait. Yeah. The worst. He's the worst. I put Bobby on with him.

And I go, oh, and he's like, tell, just tell him to get out. And I go, oh. Well, I call this guy a ham because, but this is my fault. I said Beetlejuice three times. I said Candy Man in the Mirror because I wasn't even friendly Jay You are friendly. You're a friendly guy, but I am a friendly guy that and they were all over He goes does it I bought two beers because it was last call, but I'm not gonna drink it Do you want to offer it to Josh and then Josh doesn't drink?

He's like no, I'm good and they offer to me I go Yeah, I'll take it and I grabbed it and and then that was good. And then he offered to me, I go, yeah, I'll take it, fuck it. And I grabbed it. And then that was the invitation to talk me. Of course, he just bought you. By the way, he bought me. He didn't buy Josh right away. He's talking to me over Josh. I was able to kind of like throw Josh.

Josh didn't take the beer. I was almost able to throw Josh into it, like shoulder him into the conversation. But he kept going, and I just kept trying. So then I go, I have a bit of a joint left that I smoked half of. I go, here's how we get out of this. I lit it, took a puff, and I go, hey man, for the beer.

He goes, I don't smoke at all, man. And I go, oh, okay, I was just trying. You know, it's like, I appreciate it, man. And he goes, my wife does, and Oh, okay. I was just trying, you know, it's like I appreciate it man And he goes my wife does and she took it and I was like you can kill it and then he was like Now we're really friends. I thought that was gonna be the yeah I gave you an amounts worth of weed and only in the he was just there. He's lonely with a girlfriend in the history of drugs Lonely in the head we're just there. He's lonely with a girlfriend in the history of drugs Giving drugs has never stopped someone from light not liking it makes them your high buddies for a lifetime now. Yeah, you're right

Sharing lilly sharing drugs is the way to say we're friends now. Yeah, you're literally just sherry saliva. Yeah, I Said my hands and I go kill it almost being like you guys get back to your own Best part was is that the guy spilt his beard down Josh's shoe straight into his shoe soaking his sock completely when he was going out to do and he said by the way goes he's one more time he goes he goes I Promise you it was the last song. It was a song was before the last song right before it was Yes It was my favorite what it wasn't my favorite. I'll take exactly what it was No, that'd been great. I'm sorry. They didn't close they didn't close on what I would say

It was a close they should if they closed on give me shelter. Oh, that's the hint they didn't close on what you're waiting on a friend nope all right Fast I'll tell you it's a fast song It's like how kiss a close No, all right, um, let's spend the night together no Satisfaction Yeah, but it's yeah. It's fine. Get some guys that first hit. Mm-hmm. Wasn't really no wasn't yeah it was no wasn't Why'd you guys all you had somebody my age? It's fine. Get some going. It was their first hit. Mm-hmm. Was it really? No, it wasn't. Yeah, it was. No, it wasn't.

Why would you guys argue with somebody my age? It's because you're not going to remember this in five minutes. What are we talking about anyway? Satisfaction to their first hit. It was not their first hit. I say it was. I say the only reason you argued with me was because you saw a little bit of hesitation when I said it. I did.

That's the only reason. He didn't even have the info, but he knows something in my gave it a little Yeah, your little crinkled eyes too much. I'm staying about it. Not Christine. Look it up. Oh boy. What is it? Oh, he didn't look it up. He's thinking about Dan Dan picks 2024 see if he still looks the same. What are you listening to dance fucking podcast right now? Their first hit was a cover, but I can't Get No Satisfaction was their first number one. Thank you. Oh.

What was their first hit? Oh, sorry guys, I was watching Moe Hammer open up LaCrosse cards. I'll tell you, I'm sorry. I'll tell you exactly what their first hit was, it was a cover. I don't know, it's, can you hear me? It's all over now. Mo Amber LaCrosse is fucking, gotta be the funniest thing ever.

But that guy, right before the last song, he goes, he walked by us all again and goes, you believe I have to pee again with his wife? And it's a weird thing to say because he never came back, clearly, why would he? He was definitely leaving there, but he's so used to making cocaine excuses to go to the bathroom.

He went, would you believe I got a pee? He goes, sir, I don't care why your walks go. He's covering his tracks. Maybe he killed the wife and he's like, I want them to think I went to pee. Yeah, he's like, I think I left my watch in the bathroom. We had an old couple next to us, it was fantastic. The guy just shook his little tushy.

Didn't bother anybody, thin, they stayed in one place. He had these fucking alcoholic losers next to him the whole time. We had a guy behind us, that was behind that old couple. That I would say, if he was behind me, it would be, I understand, I can deal with a lot, but I would have been thinking about it more than not was this guy jumping and

singing 100% every word of 100% of the song. Yeah, you know the new ones. He knew the Keith Richards new one The head was bad shit. We have a video here. He is look at him. That's him. That guy. Yes Yeah, oh my god with the headband by the way The stones headband everyone else is just enjoying themselves They're all they all know exactly what I'm doing that guy's not enjoying himself And they go was he wearing a 49ers jersey dude the lady next to that guy you can see her face she every every time you look back her face is like

Please put that out big J big J knew exactly what I was doing. I go, oh yeah, dude, you're doing the right thing. Get him. Because I wouldn't. I would just talk about it. I'm not a pull my phone out. Luckily, I'm with a millennial Bobby Kelly who pulls his phone out. I'm an influencer, J.

That's right. You are. You know that. No, I appreciate that you pulled that phone out. Look at Mickey. He looks great. He really did. 80 years old.

80 years old. I saw them 17 years ago at the Hollywood Bowl and I was like, wow, this is probably the last time I'm gonna get a chance to see him. And then he's running around on stage like he's 30 years old. I thought it was gonna suck, not suck, but I didn't think it was gonna be as good as you've seen.

It was better. I think they were better. It was unbelievable. We also had an inexplicable dude moment that we'll always talk about. And is it funny when they come out of nowhere and there's no reason, but Bobby, we made a core memory for you at your age.

What the fuck is that? At this advanced age, we made a core memory for you. I'm sitting next to... Bobby, we had Bobby trying to do the thing where you, first of all, it was Young Dylan here, who we'll get to. Oh boy. we'll get to Young Dylan in a minute. Young Dylan put out with a water bottle between his feet and jumped up to lift the bottle up

and then the bottle was in the air and then he caught it with his hand. Bobby then did it too. Wow. Then Dylan did it and then added into it, flipping the bottle and it landing on its base solid and then Bobby became obsessed with doing that and It took him a lot of tries so many tries that teen people that were

Not involved in giving a shit in this at all We're now over shoulders and looking and when Bobby Kelly threw that thing up and it landed on its base 20 people, ah! It became... Oh, this was before they kind of started off. Outside, yeah. It was during the show. Tailgating.

No, we were doing it. No, it was tailgating, and just, I know those moments. Bobby, you felt so good. He was smiling uncontrollably after we cheered for him like that. I'm telling you, I'll say it again. There's nothing like people cheering for you. Yeah, I loved it. It like that. I'm telling you, I'll say it again. There's nothing like people cheering for you. Yeah, I loved it.

It felt good. I'm 53, and it felt fantastic when everybody went, yeah! Even Dawn didn't want to think this who gives a shit was a big deal, and she got wrapped. Everyone was stoked on this thing happening. First time I seen her excited in three years. Dylan, I apologize also, I bring you up up because you were out of the room and you were

upstairs when you came up both other times. When we were outside, the second you see how he went, I'm on the show. Dylan's a young comic. Dylan goes and roll with me about films. We saw you shake his hand downstairs. Go ahead. So, well, Colin couldn't stop talking about it. I brought, Dylan came over and I was like,

I was like, hey buddy, he said hey to me and Bobby. I was like, this is Colin Quinn. They shook hands. And then Dylan went and kissed Christine on top of the head, which I didn't think much, gently. First of all, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop. The guys that have been, we're at the concert with them,

we're out in LA with them, we've been a lot of places with this young buck, okay? Didn't acknowledge me. That's not true. Didn't? It was barely. Barely acknowledged me and Jay. Shook Colin's hand first,

then kissed Christine on the head like a loving mother and then Gave you a what's up, and then didn't turn around gave me the piece from the back of the head shit And then he wouldn't he's the guest today, so obviously thank you Dylan They seem to forget I'm a guest here Christine is a woman so she gets Yeah, second dream, and then the two guys that put you on the show. You're right Dylan. Took you to a concert, fed you,

love you, take care of you. I had to run up and get the camera set up for your show. That's true. Whoa. So I was doing prioritizing and I did acknowledge you. You're a new, you're a new. You got invited to the steakhouse or no? I was not invited to the

I was at the barbecue though you you acknowledge me like Shane acknowledges a fan in a subway I hope you know next you're gonna get so in order that without greetings now. I'm gonna give you such a big hug And buddy, did you see me get excited about a hurrah over flipping a bottle? I won't get annoyed I will love every second of your Over fucking zealous. Hello. I feel like we're getting off the thing here. I felt like what they were saying about what happened outside was, I sat idly by while you walked up

and stuffed a cock in Christine's mouth. That's how they were making me feel. That's what I was getting out of it, yes. And then Christine, by the way, just went like, mmm. And I was just like, I don't know, this is what she likes about you. That's how they made me feel about it. I was just like, oh, Dylan's giving his mommy

a kiss on the head. Colin doesn't know we've been raising Dylan for the last three years. Yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's our love child. Christine and Jay take care of a lot of kids in this business. Yeah. I'm the only one that's under 30.

It's the, yeah. Oh, you know what? It's the Keith thing. Not for long. Christine likes old puppies. She likes adopting things. It was the Keith Robinson school. It was this policy of like, I'm going, come with me.

Come on. It's also the Kevin Spacey rule. Send the elevator back down. You're all right. You guys also forgot to mention about Josh. Talked so much at the concert his tooth fell out. It's also the Kevin Spacey rule send the elevator back down Forgot to mention about Josh talked so much of the concert his tooth fell out Just talked his tooth out Because he was eating what are those candies max everything

All of it it was a combo plate of guppagol, sour patch watermelons. Max had a little bag of candy and of course, I had to dip into that too. He dipped into Max's candy and his fucking tooth fell out. Max did one of the funniest things. He came to me at one point and he hands me a beef stick with cheese. Yeah.

Like a Jack Link thing. And he goes, here you go. And I was like, oh no, I. Yeah. Like a Jack Link thing. And he goes, here you go. And I was like, oh, no, I'm OK. I'm good. I'm full, man. Thanks so much. And he goes, I got it for you. And I was like, oh, I'm taking it. Just put it in the car. Oh, jeez. I got it for you.

Max, it's not nice to not take a gift. Oh, I didn't. OK. I thought we were just handing out beef and cheese. Max actually raided everybody on the way home. As soon as we hit the highway, he's like I'm gonna let you know who's number one I'm gonna raid everybody. He raided everybody. Oh my god Now say who we're waiting here. This is the group You he has his own parents. No, we weren't in it. Okay, so you guys are out I would have he's out to if he rated me I'd slap. He's out to make him walk home

He's also out. Yeah, so it's a Simply me Christine Dylan. Yep Tom Laura Josh didn't rate Laura Tom though Tom Tom Josh Dylan you and one to ten. What are the ratings numbers? It was number one Who's the best to worst? Who's the best? Okay. I like that. Okay. Who do you think? I'm curious What do I think what's my list? What's your list?

I think Tom weirdly knows how to like schmooze with kids and they think he's like pretty cool and funny. He may have done drugs and given your son some beer when you weren't looking. That's why I'm gonna say Tom. I'm gonna, you know what's weird that you say that because in the middle of the concert, he actually sat down and put his head down

and then went, dad, I just blacked out. I was like, what? I need more coke. He, he, he, he went, I just blacked out. I'm like, what? He's like, I just went somewhere else. I'm like, maybe it's the excitement He was hypnotized by the music. It's a music. It might have been the fucking joints that was

All those fucking joy, he might have been whacked last night, but uh 100% no chance. Oh my boomer weas. No chance a lot of weed going around doing now nowhere near him But that's pretty hilarious though. We knocked him out. But yeah, so I'm gonna say Tom Okay, Christine's in Christine's in I Think that seems like a mom's friend type thing. So I'm gonna say Dylan too So Tom Dylan, yeah the top two. Yeah Me okay, oh Wait are the top two. Me.

Okay. Oh wait. Me, then Christine. Then Josh. I say Josh might be last place, only because I think he came over at one point and like Josh and him were playing around and he went over way too hard by the way.

What'd he do? Max just like punched punched in his arm, and then punched two more times, really, really hard, and Josh was kinda like, all right, Max. And I was like, Max, Max, relax, buddy. Yeah, I gotta stop. I'm like, he's playing with you, what are you doing? You're hitting full power on someone who's walking,

playing with you, like, hey, buddy. All right, what the fuck is this? I'm sorry, I've been teaching him how to throw a punch Right way. I got a practice So I would say Josh be like just for that cuz they was you know when they had like an awkward probably moment for at All what do you say Colin? I say probably put Josh up one cuz he felt guilty He wanted to cover his tracks. He's probably like I better put Josh boy behind closed doors though now You could really say I Josh, in a public ranking, he probably would have put Josh higher to win points.

Behind closed doors, now he's just a guy who made him uncomfortable for simply punching him without him being aware. I mean. All I did was punch this adult harder than you should. I wasn't there, but I like his lineup. It sounded pretty thought out. All right, right, Christine, you wanna take a step? You know what, I'll flip. I not a pretty thought out. All right, right

I just want to flip one thing. I go flip one thing Jay and Christine. Okay You think Christine's for before Jay? Okay, very possible. Okay. He's a young boy. The hormones are raging right now I watched it Louis Jordan Dylan Lewis's house yesterday for a Memorial Day Tim butterly brought his daughter who's teenager and and James and I mean this girl was beating the shit out of James in this pool and James was just his tongue my almost what it was out of his mouth just beating with a fun you don't keep jumping around or boobs or but and James just like they're getting whacked in the face with this pool noodle just like Hey, hey, I'm losing Look at your son out there getting a confused boner with the butterly girl

Kristen you would take it away. Okay, Jay Tom me Jay Tommy, what's this their Dylan Dylan he's right here Don't see Dylan's young who else was there She's very quiet The ranking Remember that check I'll tell you ready. I'll tell you, you ready? It was Jay and Christine together. As a unit. They're his favorite.

Okay. Favorite, Jay and Christine. He first said Jay, and then he was like, no, no, no, no, Christine and Jay, together. I was like, okay, number one. Nice. Number two. Was Tom. Tom! Tom was number two. He watched Tom dry haggle a t-shirt guy and the guy almost

cried. This big black dude almost just cried at Tom and showed no. I've seen that before, a few people have that personality to walk up up I always assume the guy selling t-shirts is also selling drugs has a gun and wants to kill me and this is only a ploy to Get to be there. He came up to me and max in the parking lot. Yeah, I got t-shirts I go see that guy with the goofy haircut the tall guy He wants one I just sent him over to them because I just wanted to see I wanted to see him go over and fuck With Tom because he was looking for the t-shirt. The guy was there for 15 minutes. And then he goes to Max, he goes, you can't ever pay full price,

you always gotta haggle him down, Max. Yeah, and Max loved it. It got tense too. It did. Oh, it got tense. The guy was like, I'm out here trying to work, man, I'm trying to make money. He goes, you can make money, pal.

If you wanna make money, you gotta have to play the game. I'm saying $30 for two shirts. And then he kept going like this, I'll see you after the show because you'll be here trying Oh, yes. That's I'll see in three hours, buddy We're gonna do it now, or I'll see in three hours when I'm gonna give you five less than this And then son of a bitch, huh? There's a thousand of you yeah Call the brother at one point which is bold

Thing was bold buddy. He's a real buddy chief guy. He's one of those people. Guy, I'm trying to work with you here. Chief, come on, throw me a deal here. It was Tom, then Dylan. And then Dylan. Josh was last. Josh was last. My ranking was right except for I split up me and Jay

and put Tom before myself. Josh was last. I'm telling you that's what that was. It was the- Christine, your ranking was not great. It was horrible. She goes, my ranking was right except I split me and Jay's what that was. Christine, your ranking was not great, it was horrible. She goes, my ranking was like, except I split me and Jay, and it was hard.

Jeez. That's women talk. I didn't know we were going to be put together as a unit. You're a unit. We all put you together as a unit. Let's women speak for you. Max loves Big Jay. The concert, we're all going in, takes off with Big Jay,

just walking with him. I mean, I got a photo of it. He's just walking with Jay like he's his dad. I had a great moment with Max, by the way, when we were walking. No, please don't tell me you touched him. I touched him. I'll tell you what, he was, let's just call it receptive.

Let's just call it receptive. No, but we had a couple of these. You know what's funny? I can't oversell. Why am I laughing at you molesting my kid You know, I'd be tender. It's terrific. You know, I'd be nice with it Because you know I go at his pace That's all you could hope for I'll make sure I go to his face. No we had a couple, I learned early in the day, you can't, I'm trying to give him, I'm

too old for him to enjoy this with me with too much warning. So there was a couple times where I'd see, you know, girls with their butt cheeks hanging out walking by and I'd give him max a little like buddy right over there and he would almost turn away from it and walk away because it was too much like he's embarrassed of what? He's gonna react to that with what I did share with him once or twice The rest of the night was I looked at I'm looking at some girls ass and I looked down and I see Max looking and I go right And then he would kind of smile and like like look away

You can't give him like, hey son, look. It's the creepy thing of an uncle showing you a nudie magazine or something. You're like, let me find it. So yeah, but when I saw him already, I was just like, that's what I'm talking about. He was like, ah, shit. First of all, who the hell is Tom?

He works for Gas Digital. He's an incredible salesman. He's part of our sales team. He's a good guy. Incredible salesman. He works for this Digital. He's an incredible salesman. He's part of our sales team. He's a good guy. He works for gang fest stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Tom's like part of the crew. He's got a bad attitude.

I used to go to his shows at concerts. So the whole time I was on the other guy's side. Are you furious? I got to show you, Tom, his daughter actually called it out. He looks like a Bob's Burgers character. He really does. It's undeniable. Once he said it, I can never not see it.

His hair looks like he puts it on before he goes out. It's insane. Yeah, by the way, that's a product it does that I found out after seeing him in a pool. There it is right there. That hair comes off. Oh my god, he looks like Dan Soder. Wow, they could be brothers.

It looks like Soder's brother brother who stayed in the house. Look at James smiling. Look at this outfit. Yeah. Tom goes for it. He dresses good. Tom dresses funky. I like the way Tom dresses.

Dresses funky for sure. Definitely funky. There's Quiet Laura. There's Quiet Laura. Not even ranked. Didn't even get ranked. Didn't even get ranked. She's the only one with a number not next to her name.

Me and Don didn't even remember. What about the other one? The other girl that was there. Yeah, he loves Jay so much. It's crazy how much he loves him. He loves Colin, though. The number one, if we were going to rank them all, out of all my friends, it's Quinn.

You know what's funny? I was going to do something after the concert that was very funny to me. I tried to tell you, you couldn't hear what I was saying. Molest him? No. No, we did that before the show.

Make out with Don? That's pregame, I was gonna make out with Don. You and Don and Christine? No, I said, for some reason I was stoned and I had such a hilarious idea for a speech to Max. Did you say for some reason I was stoned? No, that I thought this would be a funny idea. I know I know. For some reason. I know why I was stoned. Guys, it was a weird,

wasn't the $500 worth of weed in his pocket? During that I was thinking about. That was an eclipse, you know, this one time when I was stoned. Go on Jay. I was thinking I wanted to talk to Max and be like, Max, listen, I'm gonna tell you right now, do not smoke cigarettes, despite how super cool your Uncle Jay must make it look to you. Posing and talking with it hanging out of my mouth, and God knows all the other great things it must look like, it's so cool, but you're not gonna want this habit in your life.

If I can get rid of it, I can't, but the only benefit is that while it kills me, I do, I know, I look so cool doing it. It's brutal. He smokes through the whole concert. He just has a butt lit through the whole concert. How much do you smoke a day? Pack.

Yeah, it's a lot of cigarettes. It's a lot of cigarettes. It's a lot nowadays, that's for sure. In the old days, pack was like, oh good, you're cutting down. Now it's like a pack. Nobody smokes a pack. I think it's hells like two, three.

I smoke two packs a day. I have. I smoke cigarettes, so did I No, it's like a pack. Nobody smokes a pack. I think it's hells like two, three. I smoked two packs a day. I have. I smoked cigarettes, so did I. But he's crazy. He used to smoke cigars during Tough Crowd. He would smoke a fucking box of cigars a day. That's 20 cigars a day. Not only is that a lot of cigars, that's a lot of money.

Yeah, and I used to inhale them too. Didn't you smoke? You smoked? When I went on the road for a week and I had to buy three boxes of cigars to go on the road. You inhaled them? Yeah, only through my nostrils. That's $800.

Ooh, wow. That's 800 a week. 800 a week he would f- You're an fentanyl. We had full size cigars, not the little- Listen to me, full size cigars. 800 a week he would fuck and then fentanyl Listen to me full-size cigars. Yeah, he would smoke a box a day. We come when we come back from the break We show your old Your Comedy Central half-hour when you pull out some cigarettes on stage. I like that. Look you smoked we were like an eight ball jacket Yeah, it was such a time

It's such a timepiece Collins got such a time piece. Colin's got a new special out that is, I watched, which you accuse me of not watching. Well because. Because I'm what? You're one of my closest friends. Yeah, but you gave me, the way you complimented it was so generic, it was like we weren't close friends. How was it generic?

You might as well have been writing about Josh Allen Meyers. What did I say, Josh Allen? Allen Meyers? Whatever. Josh Adam Meyers. I fucked it up for years. I just got it a week ago. I used to call him Josh Adam Meyerson.

Meyerson, I do remember you saying that. I wrote one of the funniest guys On the planet you got to check it. It's like it's how do you let's look at it? I'll take a break. Yeah, we gotta look at it. We'll take a break. We'll take a break Yeah, we get break hands from Jacob Colin Quinn's gonna be at souljoe's in Pottstown, PA. Oh, that's the scene of the crime. That's where I was yanked offstage. Sit back, sit back far. On Saturday, June 1st.

They don't have that stage anymore, it's inside. After that, he's gonna be in Minneapolis, Beverly, Massachusetts in the comedy mothership in Austin. Richard Dreyfuss was yanked offstage. Richard Dreyfuss yanked offstage. He only plays clubs where people yanked offstage. For tickets and all, yeah. He's just a Provie candy, he goes, try to yank me off the stage. I go to the most dangerous spots.

Colin Quinn dot com for tickets and tour dates and the new special our time is up streaming now on YouTube. You know of course Robert Kelly, poor Charlotte Florida, June 7th and 8th, St. Louis, Timonia, Maryland, Portsmouth, New Hampshire on deck after that and you can catch Bobby every Tuesday night 7 p.m. to Fat Black Pussycat at the Comedy Seller for tickets and all tour dates go to punchup.live Robert Kelly Big J is gonna be at the improv in Irvine June 7th and 8th and then he's on the fully loaded festival touring all over the country throughout June and the Brigada in Atlantic City July 27th one just him. Get your tickets for that right now.

All the tour dates and all the other info. BigJComedy.com, we'll be right back. It's the bonfire. I spent my time in Park Road