The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Weird Talents (feat. Andy Fiori)

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

midroll- 29:45Merc Face Andy Fiori hangs joins The Bonfire as the gang reveals little talents that they have, including a juggler!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@AndyFiori www.AndyFiori.comAndy Fiori's new special premiers Thursday 10/6 on YouTube!

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. We're down here, we're still waiting Bang your head, do it, do it Metal, helpful, dry off you mad Bang your head, do it, do it, do it Do it, do it, do it, do it do it do it do it do it do it do it now do it do it do you ever see the movie session nine It was a horror movie about guys cleaning out an old abandoned asylum. It's awesome Okay, that's actually awesome movie, but like the guy who has their voices in his head

It's just like a straightforward voice going, do it Gordon, do it. So funny, it doesn't go with it. It's like complete ADR, it's like after the fact, do it. Yeah, it is the middle of this movie. Do it Gordon, do it now. Everybody, it's the Bonfire, Faction Talk Series 6 and 103.

I'm Big Joeverson, that handsome, hilarious, son of a bitch, a dance soda. It's the coffee prince. Thank you for the lead in Eddie trunk trunk nation. So you guys know again the warning three girl band kind of new kind of old we're not sure playing the Brooklyn Bowl. Done if you go you might get an Eddie trunk sighting. Baby. Pretty exciting news. Got plans on Saturday. If you don't have plans on Saturday I suggest you go check out our friend,

Andy Fiori's new special check right premiering on YouTube this Thursday, October 6th. Pretty exciting. Pretty exciting. Everybody's here with us for the show today to hang out. It's Andy Fiori. Merckface. Welcome back. What's up, fam? Welcome back into the fold. Thank you. Always, always glad to have you here. Welcome to welcome. Thank you for returning to the pride I appreciate it. I told you so would have been my dad's 99th birthday really thought it would be sentimental It's a really awesome. What if he raises from the dead that'd be fucking that wicked rad I And it's your own English

He wake up and he criticized you go Darkness falls across the Daddy like your dad thriller dancing Check it out. I think it's great. I think you like it. Tell tell friends we're gonna take up things to you what because I'll tell you a little little bit of how the sausage is made here boy we've started a thing when we have our second hour guests yeah that we're like only comfortable we'll be able to roll for the second hour with us right we now have a thing we used to just ride them to the end of the show yeah but now a half hour in we can take a commercial break and say something like nice

By the way, you know when we come back from commercial There's like no time left in the show anyway, so I'm gonna say a proper goodbye to my guest here And we give a good bye and they go today We were like and he's coming in for a full show today, right and Jacob goes Yeah, I think so because I mean you can you just like Do the like thanks for having me. I'm like, you want us to fucking shun? Mark face like this.

Thanks. Thanks for. Please. I'm gonna give us a thanks for coming in. I said, you can stay for the whole show for sure. Please stay for the whole show. We prefer it. And then you can always give him the shoe fly.

And then doesn't even show up to defend himself. That claims the young Kimperish. Oh, right. Yeah, I'm a poor day day of atonement my ass bullshit. There was ever a Gentile home with him He's going home the fast I heard his pants pound his dick What is it? It's a jet I heard he was a J for J. You cannot you cannot eat at work. It's still fasting. No, you could definitely not eat it work He said he was rushing home He's rushing home to get food to have before

he can eat anymore. Yeah, no restaurant. There's a deli's out here. There's tons of food around here. I just had food during the break. It's not sundown yet. I could nosh on a piece of pizza. I'm young, keepering.

I maybe have some colabre dipped in honey. Boy, it seems like a man knows how to get out of work. It's great, never comes in the world. Mom, should we fast? Uh-huh. Why would they get you to get a gunner? Did you get a killer? Did you get a Jewish?

Is that how it works? I don't know. Did you get a killer? She didn't fast. Did you just put a pillow over her head in the spare tonning? Not greatly. Yeah.

We have to atone for what we did to mom, mom. What? Well, I had to cut her arm up. For seems like I sent her off to the great good night. She was suffering. What? You ever watched the lights go out? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's in a better place now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, we're just bags of meat once the soul leaves. Yeah. I don't like the idea of having to atone for other people. I don't know what these criminals did. You're fucked, that shit. Who am I talking about?

I'm a tonan for this guy. Yeah, I'm sure they killed Jesus. That's what they did. My name's Tony Atonement. Uh-oh, do I smell a cameo? Oh. I smell a new cameo. Okay, I look for page 40 on comedians and cameo.

Oh, I will, we will give preview enough just to say, if you're not a pre-record episode person on our Thursdays, be one. Yeah, be one this week. Listen to the pre-record, because we, oh, we have such a discovery, immediately in the show. The entire show is on one subject,

and the payoff is grand. Yeah. It really did close strong. Usually a lot of those shows were left with a dick flapping in the wind. You're just like, what happened? And goes, well, the end we just go. So we watched that documentary.

But this was not that at all. There's an ending. There's an actual ending. This opens up with a find that none of us can believe we found, and it ends on a confrontation. I wanna know, they say tease, baby. I know, it's gonna show you, you're a good, but don't say it out loud.

Don't say that loud, but just enjoy this. I mean, I think it's gonna be good. We do this little cruel thing you are our listeners, but it's really, what's it on Thursday? It's a great, we're just edging you bad breeds loyalty nothing wrong with that nothing wrong with that Make them wait it out make sure the volume does not go out. Okay. No volume right? I can't give away what we found No, it's quite the disco

Come on Come on come on. This is something you can make happen on cameo. Just you know Come on, you can make happen on cameo just so you know But we're gonna let you know I let you know it goes it goes full without saying anything else we will move on Yeah, I have so many questions already We are pictures from Jay we are moving on do you still many there are oh my god, there's a lot cleaning up to no Wait, Andy don't say anything. No, there's a whole no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yo, I feel like after the little tons of heist Yo major changes, okay, do we had an effect? You move the needle okay, we move the needle

All right, all right moving on okay, wow damn black glue he probably he probably watched one of your inspirational videos Do you know that black Luke it's gets kicked up on IG inspirational videos? You know he does. I was like, dude, you got to bring in a list. We got to watch some of these. Of his faves, did you bring a list? Wait, before we do that, can I show you these pictures real quick? Yeah, that's cool.

That's gonna dive heavy into that. Yeah. I was just going through, I was texting my sister, Haley the other day, and she, when they were cleaning on my grandmother's house, found a bunch of stuff, and they sent me some pictures, they found out that I drew, like I usually draw a lot when I was a kid, not good, I just loved drawing. And how dialed in to how I wanted to dress one day, behave, what I cared about, what I thought was cool, and something evident on the show is in these two drawings

that I was shown. Before we get to it, please. What's funny is your family finds drawings of how you're going to dress, you know, like cool stuff. My mom found these note cards that I would leave myself that are the saddest shit I've ever had ever left. Don't kill yourself today. For real, almost close to that. Shut up.

Dude, I'm gonna find that she was like, yeah. Another day in the struggle. It says, uh, the earlier ones, this is when I was younger, things to change. Two superstitious, better grades, pay attention in school, be nice, stop being so depressed. About you, yourself? You're not like, I was like, 10? No. Yeah, it's pretty dark journals.

Yeah. How's the British press get? I gotta say. You know, it's just so easy. Well, how's the little email? There's another one when I'm older, when I'm in high school. Right, school. Where I say, because I'm in like when I'm in high school Where I say because I couldn't have a driver's license in less at a 3.0 or a better. I would check told you okay So my list is the goals to get a 3.0 or better to get physically

Oh, this is my freshman year. I think to get physically and mentally strong start JV football So must've in my sophomore year be a person. Don't take life for granted. Wow. Jesus, dude. That's so weird. Would you dad go on at that point? Yeah. That's right in between my dad and my sister dying. Yeah. Buddy. Strap him. You go go to less funerals. Yeah. Stop, stop watching people die. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stop losing all my friends to fentanyl crisis. Stop being so depressed, misspelled. Sometimes I forget how dark Dan's life is.

Yeah, depression one's gonna add to your hands at that point. Life is a couple early deeds. Stop being so depressed. That was before they'd buy it. That was before anyone's lifetime. Oh, but you were in for fucking rollercoaster after that. Yeah, dude, but I found it. I found it with the first viewers day of art gallery music.

Yeah, it was like, oh, my mom sent me that and she was like Freight and I'm like, did you did you not see what's on these? Box you yeah, that would come with the things like damn. I'm so sorry. I feel like I wasn't there for you She really was like, look at you, bro. She's like why are you so depressed? We had a fucking igloo cooler full of fucking screwdrivers. Yeah, you got to play with all my empty bottles I will say for the moon. I had like the stuff like my dad was kind of deadbeat. Sure. You know, and then when Joe came in at first, it was a little rocky because it was a big change. My grandfather passed away, but like overall, I would say like in my day to day was like a pretty happy kid. Here's the thing. Me too.

I would probably say I was pretty happy too. Yeah, but I guess I really enjoyed playing with my toys. I never, I'm more like, note cards like that or more like you'd find in my life now. Yeah, you know, I mean, don't kill yourself in a hotel room, seriously. For real. That's my password for my laptop.

If you were like me, did you try and, were you trying being deeper than you thought you were? I tried to do that when I was a kid too. Same thing, my mom is doing it. No, I think there was moments where I was genuinely very sad. Oh, I was putting on a show for nobody. I definitely have done that before.

But I get what you mean. Yeah, yeah. Try to act more mature than you are. Right, right. Yeah, for sure. I'm dealing with a lot. Like the sounds deep. But you're like, I'm dealing with a lot.

Yeah, yeah. Also, here's the thing, I was also around a lot of dramatic alcoholics. Right. So I was just mim a lot. Also, here's the thing. I was also around a lot of dramatic alcoholics, right? So I was just mimicking them. Yeah being like, oh, this is the whole thing's gone. I don't know how to make a drier man martini. Did I can make my mom a southern car from Manhattan on the rocks? Oh, that was her flavor. That was 10 years old. Yeah. Yeah, that's good reason for no cards I guess I wasn't bringing my mom and he kind of she goes, hey, J.J. J.J. would you crush up my perkest sets for me

so I can snort them? Damn, did you know who I was? I did a bunch of blankets on the couch thing. Oh, that's by the way. Oh boy. When you do that, I believe because we've seen it in something before. Yeah.

Someone covering up a person who's down for the count with blankets, you're a little, you're a little bit like dramatic in that. Yeah. You know what I mean? who's down for the count with blankets, you're a little bit, like dramatic in that. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like even though it is a dramatic moment, you're still, you sort of movie it's still though, too.

For sure you play it out. Yeah, let me talk about both sides. Here he goes. I'm sure she means just life, you know what I mean? She's trying her best. I did that all the time. I always made, made believe like I was in a movie when I was a kid.

Like that's how I play it a lot. Where I was like, I'm being filmed right now for a movie. I would absolutely play it up. Yeah, do you have siblings? There was so far apart and age very far. I was gonna say I lived and I realized that the other day I don't know why I thought I was on mushrooms. I think it Wu Tang. I Don't know why I came across my head, but man, too. I had a fucking phenomenal imagination. Yeah, I mean a really great imagination. Oh my god. I mean, a really great one. I was able, like, I couldn't guess now exactly how I could

sink in the GI Joe's like that when I was younger, but I mean, if I had them, I'd be bummed if I had to stop playing GI Joe's. Also, yeah. I love, by myself. It also makes sense on why I love substance. Because that was like escapism in a way of like, I was playing, you buy me two pieces of five dollar plastic and I was like

I'm good for the afternoon. Yeah, you let me go outside and make a fort. We're fucking good. Yeah It's hot between Barbies and cocaine for me was like so short. I mean look at me It was like one year So funny. So you put little Barbie on the line Barbie, but Christine I've got enough. I mean, you know, I've talked about it at nausea little Barbie line Oh look it's doing Oh look it's who cut this shit Steped on Ken she goes. Yeah, she goes this is a darker Ken. He's the one that brings all the fucking this is man

It's Ken. Yeah. Oh look guys. It's six month in cocaine bars. She's skinny here She hasn't lost her job as a flight attendant yet. Oh, it's Booger sugar can He's worried that there's bugs everywhere look he's worried that every room is bug Yeah, man, but I would love that but then imagination stuff I Being kind of an old. I'm an only child and you were kind of rich. Yeah, you're grow up in black Lou you an only child did you grow up? I was only an only tough for 11 years, but so was yeah, I was seven. Yeah, I mean, I think the first 10 counts because that's when you're silly in your Little plane and also when you're 11 you're already thinking kind of about you're like trying to figure out how you're gonna approach pussy

Or or funny is a girl sister is about sister was born when she was 12 I think she's like I want a sister now she's like I want to sister when I was five yeah for real you want because then but when you want to 10 you're able to like be a little weirdo my parents are fucking weirdos dude 15 and 7 those are my two sisters ages. The part we are. So 21 for my older sister to my younger sister. Wow.

She's bananas. That's why the old dad. I'm 19 from my youngest sister. Yeah, yeah. In the crazy when you're dad aged. 19, 15, 15. When you're dad. When you're dad aged from your sibling?

Well no, 19, 15 and 11. My mom started having kids every four years when I was 11. Yeah, we were. That's why I was born. And then Isabel was born like four years when I was 11. Yeah, we're that's why I was always hailey was born and then isabel was born Like four years later, I think No, is it six year difference? It's pretty close. So your siblings are like four years apart and then like isabel is not much younger than hailey That's what I love about Joe list his uncle Dale. Yeah, he's like four years over

Yeah, so we go hang out. He's like, yeah, that's my fucking uncle Dale and I'm like Guys are it there are two people Brianna and I remember my uncle was born Brianna was Travis's uncle or aunt, but we were all in the same grade Yeah, my nephew is 25 and it's weird Yeah, I bet that's fucking weird. Yeah, all my he owns a home Did you know something even my nieces and nephew? You need them Charlie my my nieces and nephew you need them. Girl babies. Charlotte.

My friend that I grew up with Jason, shout out to her in the Pimple and Crew. He had a kid. He was 16. I think you were 16 when he had his daughter. And now she's like 21. Classic third. Classic third.

Classic Pimple and Crew. Dude, everyone's blown, I was saying Lewis and David's that everyone's blown away as a bell Friday as 20 20 wow yeah, you and your kids from your friends kids are getting your 20s. You feel well. I started counting 19 Yeah, that's not easy. I didn't know Yeah, she'd be a year she came out her and three of her girlfriends came by to grab some shoes that she's gonna draw on for Jay and of her girlfriends came by to grab some shoes that she's gonna draw on for Jay. And they just were like four adults going out and Manhattan together. It was so weird. Still looks like children to me. Yeah. Yeah. I get that with sports now. When you see a couple of braces, one sent me tasteful nudes. Ed coaches look young as fuck now. I mean,

obviously you're yeah. I mean, seeing your boy out there really does put a thing on it to me. Yeah, so much younger than me, but there's a bunch of NFL coaches now who look really young. My mom was saying she was like, it's just weird to know McDaniel and watch him deal with a difficult press conference. Right. Yeah. Yeah, she's like, it was like when I questioned you guys about prank phone calling in April. He had the same face. We got in trouble. I hate your questions and saying, we too has a head injury. Well, to point reference to what we were doing when we were younger, I would draw a lot. Yeah, love to draw.

I'd step brothers who were pretty good at drawing and it really made me want to draw a lot more. And this was your dad's next wife after your mom that was in camp. No, it wasn't in camp. This was in South Jersey. All the famous things inside of Pennsylvania. That's the Philadelphia. This is the stuff mom you was in camp. No, it wasn't in camp. This was in South Jersey. Okay, all the famous things outside of Pennsylvania. That's the photo.

This is the stuff mom you liked a lot. Kathy. Yeah, but this was, oh, she was, at this time, yeah, she was still around when I drew these for sure. But this is just drawings I did. And they're just, they make so much sense to the world. Yeah, oh my.

Metal health. Now this is how you're supposed to do. Can I say right now, that's, metal health. This is how you are all by. What can I say right now? That's crazy metal health. But can I also say, is this you and your older? Um, what's up with the hair with the thing? Is that a band member? Why do you have bows? Yeah, why are the bows? Well, first of all, stuff to what do I have, but they're not me. I don't, I don't believe this is me. At the bottom. At the bottom. At the at the at the bonfire SXM, we will tweet these out today. Is that a kitty?

Um, what? Yeah, it looks like it's probably in my mind, I'm guessing probably I thought it was going to be a panther or something. Oh, I get. Oh, I get. Which I believe is quoting metal health. It's smiling and has a person's nose. Um, metal health spelled, uh, MET EL.

There's some fun spelling going on here. H-E-E-E-H-E-L-T-H. No, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's No, that's not what it says there. You're right. It says come on. Felt nosy. Come on, fell the nosy.

Come on, fell the nosy. By the way though, can I say something before we start shitting on me? How old are you? Look at us. Young, I don't know, but very young. I could draw that much better now, but how about the idea of the motion lines?

I was just going to say the motion lines are great. Crazy. Can we get an updated version next week? Yeah, I like would you mind taking a I'll do it on the break of the show. You got would you mind doing a 2022 approach? I if we put those up, I'll do updates on both of these today. Today, your turn arounds that fast. For shows over dude, what do you left to have a panther? Yeah?

Screaming metal health to go back. Oh, that am one in color. I didn't know we were getting full I got two axes quit riot quit riot. I want to film a nosey. I think a little drum kit Need the drum kit. I think yeah a little drum kit for sure and what is coming what's on the back of him? Is that a ghost is that an axe what is flying off him? That's a second. It's hard dude is it's made of two axe handles it looks like Yeah, I know you're taking it up. You're like where's the strings? They'll put the strings on when it's time to play it I didn't know if it was on a stand I didn't know if it was by the way

I don't know if I'm gonna make it with a crime scene here, but the bottom of the bottom, there's a little blood drip at the bottom of the face for someone. What is going on? That could have been a little, that could have been five alive or something. You're not wrong, I was a little kid. It could have been Ecto Cooler. It could have been snacking and doodling. Go to the next one, Christine, please.

Now if you would. Now this goes into color, right? Yeah, this is my starter playing. This is my, this is no, my color error. My, I say my drum kits have gotten better. Yeah. And you know what? I know that's Dees Knighter.

You do know it's Dees Knighter. Oh, no, that's Dees Knighter. Sight, sight, I'm seeing. By the way, I have a chair to play the piano and the chair. I don't know if you notice is that very regal pattern. Yeah. The diamond. Yes. That's The diamond. Yes.

That's so cute. Top view of a piano and have an unused bass drum. Love it. We're not whatever you call it. Tom Tom. A loose Tom Tom. A loose Tom Tom and D-Sniiders there. Left arm.

Very big. Left arm. Left arm a little larger than the right arm. Right arm, you know, decent size. It is. a mega arm Meanwhile meanwhile my suicidal ass is just writing lists at this age I go I stop you in such a fucking dildo. I'll tell you this. I see you I see me please. I see who have nailed twisted sister on the drum kit. Yeah, not so much up top

I don't know cuz it gets a little messy, but you got the hair down. There, not so much up top. I don't know, because it gets a little messy, but you got the hair down. There's definitely not a second tea. There's definitely not a second tea in there at all. Twisted sister I nailed, all lower case. I think I was just learning how to go a little cursive. It appears. Yep.

And then in big words, we're not gone to take it. Gone at G-O-N-E. Pretty close. We're not gone to take it gone G.O.N.E. pretty close. We're not gone to take it and I want to rock Rock and get it not a bad deciner No, those arms are crazy though Okay, Kristina, but you can't draw a deciner any better than this rock. Okay. Well, you know what? Guess what you're updating that first picture art show Christine is gonna update this twisted sister picture. Yeah Christine updates with the sister all right and the commercial You guys are gonna have a draw off guys are always you guys we never get real competition any two

So here's a real competition Christine draws twisted sister. She's gonna focus on such the wrong thing then We're gonna come back and all she's gonna focus on making sure it has pecker arms. That's it. The rest of the picture's gonna suffer. Are you ready to draw? Yes. What's the graphic on the t-shirt? Oh, it's just a bunch of stuff happening. Probably from a video I saw of him and trying to mimic whatever that was.

Recreate through memory. I just striped jeans. By the way, his feeder a problem. Yeah, I know. He's a feeder bound. He's going over. He's leading his little hoops. Yeah.

Did he just, he's like devil destiner. I wonder which one I was older and thought I was getting better at. It's gotta be this one. Well, I gotta say, I feel like the other one's a little better. Not me. You take a little more risks within the character of the other one.

Also, I still have a habit doing this when I draw. I can never just walk away from the project. So as you can see, after I still have a habit doing this when I draw I can never just walk away from the project So as you can see after I drew him I then outlined him for no reason Yeah, I keep going I Did you give a Nora a late addition for sure is the guitar strap that is sticking up stiff is all hell from the guitar Oh, that's a guitar strap. I was wondering what that was. It's an air vent. It's an air purifier It's a giant on your face. It's an air purifier. It's a giant onion. It's a space heater. It looks like...

It's a doctor office air conditioner. I'm excited to see this draw. It's from Lynn. Yeah, you already put it out. Yeah. I have those front man boots. I knew it was up. Quit riot. Quit quit riot quit riot

We'll see what you guys can draw better when we come back for the break feel pretty good about it Are we not in a break time? No, not yet. No, we have plenty time. Chris. You have plenty of time to worry about this I'm gonna walk through this Quit riot. What do I got what do I got now couple of pigtails? Christine don't try to have a reference. No, Christine, you have to, you have to do the, you draw to use nighter from memory. No, you have to draw your original picture.

You have to do a better picture of what Hydro. You have to do that, but that's not. These nighters stay in there holding a microphone with a drum kit behind them with two sticks attached to the symbols. Watch her just a bird's eye view of a piano. Watch Christine do that thing that really talented artists can do where she holds the pen different where she holds her like a pencil and she's like she's shading. Yeah, there's gradiation.

And she like does D Snyder at like a just like on stage perfectly. Yeah, he's a perfect picture. Yeah, if you do like the bronze games like what do you call time lapse for? Right. I mean, pictures look like it looks like it's real like it's a photo. Yeah. How do you make his cheek glimmer? He's there sweat right there.

The one of Kobe Bryant where there's sweat running down his face. Yeah, all just pencil is insane. Yeah. I would love to have a talent like that. I could never draw. That was I never I couldn't do this now. What's yours, one little dumb talent. I can make origami cranes.

That's very cool. I could draw a couple of little comic book, not comic book, you know, like cartoony things. I can't, I'm not good at drawing anything like. What's all of my hands? Dan can't whistle with his hands. I can throw him out. I can throw anything like that.

Black who would, what'd you say? I said I can throw it blood. You just can? Throw it off the blood on command. You could wrap your set. That's your special talent. What do you say I can throw a blood? You just can On command what you could wrap your set. That's your special talent. Oh, you could throw up the blood I thought you meant vomit blood Seriously, I can do that. I swear to God Your kidneys failing. Yeah, I'm gonna get out of here. She's like a throw blood right now if you want I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to God I swear to, I swear to God I swear to God I'm not a fan of Empire There's everything it tastes like iron

It's been happening all day I've been able to do it since I was nine Ever since I was cursed Holy she scared me Me too I get through a blood on command I can do blood pretty good All right

No, I know we're talking about I don't have one I don't have a little kid thing. I click thing Just like a kitschy little skill. Yeah Some people could do like a magic trick or something or I Get do a magic trick. I didn't Christine, what are you doing? So you can do? Oh, bow? What's going on with there anymore?

And her balance? Blackwood you got one? Really don't I was just a fast little kid. I know I played ice hockey when I was a little. But there's not some kind of a thing where you can you can keep a spoon on your nose. What's you have some kind of bar? You like hop a fence.

You could take a hop a fence faster than all of us. Well, I can make my tongue go into three. Can't do that. Can't touch my nose. I can wiggle my ears. I can wiggle my ears. Can't do that. I can wiggle my weird one.

I can wiggle my ears and wiggle my nose. Can you turn your eyelids inside out. Like those weird kids. That's a joke. That's a different thing. Dude, you could do that. And you could do your eyebrows fast, which I find like so bizarre.

Loneliness. Can everybody do this one when they move there? I can't accept my right eyebrow. I'm gonna go right, left, right, left, right, left. I'm gonna go both. Are you good at the fake pulling your thumb off? No By the way, I want someone to do the good sell when they would go and then last second pull out their thumb That was always good damn if you come selling it

It's not as impressive as going like my thumb and then they just yeah, it's good I just, I'm gonna put, it's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. DJ Lou, nothing like you can't light a match with your teeth. I used to be able to juggle. You can't now? I can put a match on my tongue too.

I'm juggling over here, Christine. You're not putting a match on your tongue. You're putting a match on the spit puddle in the middle of your tongue. Everyone knows that one. Can you light up match book with just one hand? No. I care.

Oh, I used to be good at zip, I used to be able to do zip-o-tricks. Tricks? Yeah, I could open it with one hand, you know, like flip it around backwards, and then do like the snap light. Okay. Wait, Lou, you can juggle? Really reaching.

Can you do the coin thing where you let a coin fall through your fingers? No. Cool. What? We don't want to see Lou juggle. Well, I can't juggle anymore. What do you mean you lost? Lou lost his talent. I lost it. You know what I haven't juggled for years.

I bet I could juggle still. He hasn't appeased the guy. Lou's new magic too. Yeah. Lou is a sorcerer. You want to, let's juggle stuff, dude. Work away Juggle. Give me three things.

Lou's juggling a twin integral friend. I know. I taught my twin brother to Juggle and he's really good. He could do three fruits at the same time, bite it and continue doing the circuit. What? And you gave up and you and continue doing the service. What? And you gave up, and you walked away from the art. I can't get you with that.

I told a champ, and I moved on. Ever since you killed a man that one year, you said you would never use it again? You ever heard of the jungle eight. It was a greater van for me. At the New Jersey Expo. Why don't we have three things to juggle? I bet Jacob's got a weird one.

I wish he was here. Yeah. He can keep up fast, and he can keep up pretty fast. Oh yeah, that's pretty good. That's a big one. I wish it was here. Yeah, you can keep up fast and he can keep up. Oh, yeah, that's pretty good That's a big one. Keeping up the coolest. That's a big one. Yeah, keeping up the great one damn I yeah, such a weird kid. I used to have I can crack my neck pretty loud and cool. I can do that I used to have great I'm from it with one I would spit if you could okay I used to be yeah, really well if you have a if you have one of these, you know, we're talking about 866, 966, 9 1969.

A wacky skill. Yeah, like a skill. It's like a dumb like a bar skill. No, they were not thinking about it. No, that's a big ball. We roll three pieces of paper in the balls. I feel like even, do I have anything in my bag, pink? Oh, Dan, don't you have your nectarine in your peach and your orange?

Or just in my hacky sack? If you make three paper balls, it'll work. We need that paper for drawing. We don't have more paper. Buddy, this is a radio conglomerate. We're fine. I got paper out the wazoo. Do they have live DJs?

No. But paper? Limitless. What? What? We're live DJ. We're live DJs right now. No, but paper limitless what? What we're live DJ DJ right now is next numbers coming to you from the pointer sisters. I was a good speller What I was a good speller when I was young yeah, okay, that's not what we're talking about I don't know I'm reaching I really am feeling secure you go spell something at a bar with a

Riot Quit riot Sell something at a bar with a show. I knew I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it.

I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it.

I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buy it. I was going to buyicles. You're like it's white hit women. It's why it chicks Like ill prostitutes. I think his mommy's hand got weird mommy Mommy's hands weird so I got so other women got a fucking pay for it. That's not gonna be heavy enough

Yeah, dude, what is this? What is this shit? Okay, yeah that counts for me. I mean duty you got it up. You got your juggling dick hard absolutely Yeah, okay, Jay go go go go go go All right whiskey little time to fucking juggle keep the music on juggling Juggling these nuts dude Get going dude get black black look you you're getting this look at this. Oh, all right fucking That's my brain. I don't have juggle brain. Yeah, I can't do it. I've tried You like it hurts it hurts too much. I'll I'll play the shit out of cornwall though. That's the bar game

Exactly, it's like being good as shuffleboard. Yeah, is that good? Blue that's not like It's an acquired skill. Probably better than I got. Ever? I feel like, I feel like Lou's really on the cell. You train the champion with no skills? Well, can you eat fruits? And do it?

No, no, I can't. I could at one point. No, but I trained him, and I could train you too. You were his mentor? To good cell. Hi, you could be like my brother. Would you like the way down off Route 22? Which is juggling in Poryo? Would you like to learn the mythical ways of juggling from T-neck New Jersey?

You just flicked one hard behind you. Yeah, you're not turning two your jug Six more three Double point my hands are too shaky palm it. What is it? My hands are too shaky have a shot and calm down damn Skills on your skill did you can catch a paper out of the air very fast? That was righty, too Yeah, you were closed your eyes were close to brother. You're lifting. No, I'm ready. Lou wants to get this Close your eyes are close to brother. Are you lefty? No, I'm ready Lou wants to get this Get that's why it new that's what those who can't teach apparently

All the one-handed is good Bite the paper get to get by other paper when you do You get juggle lots of lots of things. Loose leaf, fruits. Yeah, I can't believe you have no other jugglers. You don't have like, I bet you can eat a bill. Can you eat a bill? Yeah, you know, when they bring a check in a restaurant, you just eat it so you don't play.

I used to do all the food challenges. I was that weird kid. I've never, I've never. Just a bag of paid 20 bucks. It's just like a bottle of beer to make it pay 20 bucks. Oh, so I didn't do those. I've tried some of those that the cinnamon was a big mistake. I knew I knew milk and cinnamon were impossible. Tried crackers couldn't do it. I tried the gallon. Two pieces of bread in a minute impossible. Is it something like that?

That one I feel like I could do. If there's something I'm telling you, it's like two pieces just white white bread. Uh, something like that. That one I feel like I could do. There's something I'm telling you. It's like two pieces of just white bread. Yeah, it's just something that comes you up in like a minute. You just can't. It's something weird. Crackers, I was like, I was right when I started smoking weed and I was like, I'm confident. I'm confident.

I couldn't imagine doing like a man versus a food challenge. Those are the ones I mean. Like those challenges are talking about the more the you are the fucking around. Yeah, it's like saltines in this kitchen. Well quantity and then also like the idea of like excruciating pain also was weird. You know what I mean?

Where it's like, I know. It's like these tacos have a little extra kick with 14 ghost peppers and spicy halogenes. I know. I'm just like, first man versus food. There's a fucking ginger man versus a pineapple. No, I like Casey Webb. I don't think you versus food. There's a fucking ginger man No, I like Casey Webb. Oh you like that other guy better. I like him better. I was a little cocky He was a little pretentious. Yeah, I was a little cool. Yeah, a little cool

He's shut up and like leather jackets with his fucking weird doughy body at least Casey Webb just like a fat like Where's a Hawaiian shirt? He's like we're in Denver now, and I'm gonna drink a 20 pound milkshake Yeah, he's great. Yeah, he's much better. You can't try to be sexy and and then What's gonna be cool? Yeah, Adam Richmond At a bridge show for the son of sunglass is on dude like a dildo because well What's up with this giant layered cake never rooting for him? Oh? Luke can you they should do CSI beginnings on it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sucks

Luke could will Juggle with one hand and chug a beer with the other How what kind of tricks are we talking yeah, you do that? Do you guys know if you are doing the same You the same amount of the same. You guys are talking about your load size. Do you guys think the same noises? What do you do? Reach?

I don't know why this is making me think of this, but you just said come, we used to take, no guys would do this. I wonder if girls ever did it. We would take sweet and low packets and swish them around because we thought was so funny because it looked like cum. So we would put them in our mouth like yeah I did that I guess for 12

girl me would have been like I'll tell you what's I'll tell you what's weird me what's weird me out about that is it was I just had a hindsight not that I did that at all but my grandmother always gave me sweet and low packets with breakfast for my total raisin brand and or total fiber. And I would put really well- We really will. She was feeding you like an old man. But if it was no raisin brand, there'd be a banana for slicing right next to it.

Now my mom never fucked around, but I would put on a lot of sweet and low. I'd go back to the packets Yeah, and crush a few because I like the nice Sandy short the bottom love it and when you take a spoon when all the brazen brands going Yeah, you think it's boolean and pick it up and drip it off the spoon. It does look like come I never thought about it so right now Bottom right now really looks like So that you guys are just playing slut I was and I was just I was just eating sugar

So funny to pretend like we were throwing up and then spit out the fake Were you not regular as a little boy? What do you mean a lot of fiber cereals and banana? I lived in my grandmother a lot. Yeah, yeah, She's had those cereals. Grandma cereals. They were good for you. She thought. My grandmother fed me when I visited her. Like I was like a small child. She would like fighting it. She'd just give me toast with jam. Yeah. Jolfe milk. That was the worst. They're good. It's a visiting grandma or like an aunt and having old people food and you're like, they don't have anything I like here. I did have a lot of food. My grandmother would weed treat E to decent amount, but I also ate her cooking. There was things she

made I loved. Sam and croquettes, bomb. But when we had chicken, mom, mom chicken, it was a boiled chicken. My mom would fucking bake chicken. And was a boiled chicken. Dude, my mom would fucking bake chicken, and it was like, she was like, she was good. Mom, cooking's good. And I love my mom's cooking, but that specifically, I remember being, did you even say it? I could feel it in my mouth.

Just being like, yeah. Just in the corner, like, and my mom's like, eat it, and I'm like, see, my grandma was like, I balanced food in my grandma's, like, I was like, why, she make me flounder stuff But when I would go home like the thing about having a young mom who didn't give up fuck yeah

The one that was best of my mom not giving a fuck was like even the worst day Was a pile of pasta with butter garlic salt and a man on the Parmesan cheese dude we were we would write This you know we're off Katie and I went away this weekend and we just went to the grocery store and just bought a fucking thing of pasta, butter and cheese. And I was like, this is fucking rules. Once a week is raining. So, fuck yeah, I, although I do a little different, I, I buy two bags of mozzarella, shredded cheese. I boil the noodles. I've done a new butter. Then I use light sauce, put in the cheese and I bake it.

I'm good for like three days. I'm talking about fucking noodles. To an noodles butter. Yeah, I'm talking about basics. We always had like prego in the house. I like it, but I can't really do this. We always had like ragu or those brands, like the chunky mushrooms. I think I will love it.

I'm talking about no red sauce. This is just butter. I've grown. No, I think it's fine, dude. I tell you right now, I'm talking about no red sauce. This is just butter. I've grown. I've grown. No, I think it's fine, dude. I tell you right now, I'm moaned on a couple bikes this weekend. I know.

You get the shittiest like the craft palm cheese, too. It's just thick. Yeah. I brown a little turkey. I might have to do a buttozen noodles for dinner today. Buttozen noodles. Yeah we're just child meal dude. Dude, I'm getting dinner bought for me tonight by a sister and brother-in-law. I'm going to town.

Where you going? Some Italian place in the West Village. Carbone right now. Is it Carbone? No, it's not Carbone. I wouldn't know. Carbone is. We've paid so much at that bachelor party.

Carbone was possibly one of the best meals I've ever had. It's phenomenal. It was fun. When we went and actually ordered like what we wanted, you guys got stuck with stuff you didn't even want. Call me a fatso. Call me a fatso, but if you like, go Italian. No, no.

And damn, call me a fatso. No, I'm saying call me by my feet. When I go to Italian place that doesn't serve preposterous portions. I don't understand why I'm there. What's the bread sitch Italian should be just so you have to take some home. You have to take some home. Kisiyama. Kisiyama. C-I-S-I-A-M-O. Bring up the menu. Let's see what you're going to look at the menu right now. Let's take you guys right now. On the someone that grew up in Colorado,

lived in Arizona, then moved to New York. You're all about that beef I had no idea all these gindaloons were making such good Vokin the dally and I'm gonna be working here like this is so fucking good But you gotta have a ball bag to make small portion Italian and I think carbon does play that No, that's not it's just like a nicer meal though. You're like thinking all of garden Italian like nicer places I think I see it already Shut the fuck up

I'm not thinking all of Garden Italian. He's the England Island vincents too Okay, it's also a vincents here in the city But they're poor shit. You saw that You got a little little you got a little more stuff I'm gonna go to town because this is their thank you for I officiate at their wedding Okay, the torta would go up. I gotta see the let's see first course Okay, Fakasha I love a pizza Bianca. Yeah, but it's a show these are you guys for no anchovies. I'll trust it It's also verity a holy Chris and your job. No, I'm on pizza. Be on you're all over the map. It's right here

Listen, you're gonna have a good meal. I'm gonna be as good as noodles with butter. No, it won't be more to dill with pistachio That's what I'm looking at you gotta try that. I'll get what's more to Della? It's like a balloon. You almost but it's got a It's got pistachios in it. It's got sass It's in every Italian sandwich. You've ever thought was great more to Dachios in it. It's got sass. It's in every Italian sandwich you've ever thought was great. More to delas in it. Joe De Rosa will. Joe De Rosa will. He will J.O.

to more to del. You love more to del. More to del. No more to del. Secondy. A Verde salad? No. I don't know if there's gonna be greens involved.

Guys, let's stay with the potatoes. It's an easy filler. It's gonna get you away. Guys, braise beans. Yes, dear? You're gonna eat well, Andy. Okay. We gotta take a break.

Okay. Jay and Christine have to draw. I almost got to his trout. He's not gonna get to his trout. I hate getting trout. Oh, maybe a little cavatelli, all those Skoglio. We'll grease balls shit Get ready to draw Jay and Christine, okay, you have one commercial break

Okay, Christine do you have a pen and paper? No? Black Luke, can we get each of them a pen and paper? She needs a pen. I have paper So I'm not I don't get to look at anything. I just look at Jay's drawing the Jay's reference drawing And you have to draw it better than J drew it throws commercial today. How many reads we got Two and one of the minds in the next hour. All right, so I'll take care of the read We're gonna come back Andy Fury's hanging out his special drops this Thursday Give it a watch. I'll watch it share it

Enjoy it live it love it and I got a bunch of dates. It's fall to work together Yeah, we're at Charlotte comedy zone coming up Andy Fiori dot com also big J comedy dot com skank fest But then it's big J will be on the root again Go to big J comedy dot com for dates Omaha. I mean, no, he just did Omaha He's gonna be in Salt Lake City, Kansas City, Miami, Orlando, October 21st and 22nd, bigjetcomedy.com. I'll be at hilarious. And Soda.com and hilarities. Cleve on this week and everybody. Thursday through Saturday coming in.

Charlotte Nashville all coming up for tickets and tour dates. Go to dance. Soda.com. We'll be right back. It is the bonfire. It is The Bonfire. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows Always on SiriusXM! you