The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - We're Just Fat with Adrienne Iapalucci

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

Jay has many little rituals when riding on an airplane. Adrienne Iapalucci returns and the guys teach her about "head to the glass" referring to Corey Holcomb's comments to Cam Newton. She learns about "Total Bitch" which is a YouTube page that ridiculously makes villains out of comedians. She has a new special out called "The Dark Queen" and reveals that she was frantically calling Bobby when he was in Cuba to help get said special made. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Jacob what'd you say the drummer base DC killed a kid now I thought it was I said it was a pedophilia and he goes no as his time to have his wife assassinated which I was like not as bad No, it's not rock and roll. Not if you don't pull it off What's a rock star stick and you could hire someone to kill? Not if you don't pull it off. That's a rock star stick and you could hire someone to kill I think that's pretty rock and roll. You know, just hey, can I get this killed? I mean real metal would just do it yourself true that you know, I mean, that's why Courtney loves so metal She did it herself. She got her hands dirty that day Phil Rudd's great, man

He plays with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. I appreciate that never give up dude. Never quit. Don't be no pussy Yeah, so I'm doing dude smoke till the wheels come off. Yeah, or your tongue. You're my tongue comes off Yeah, it's a lead pick really great. I want to your show you smoked seven thousand cigarettes great now I'm gonna have to I know I love that was his pick his metal pick you use and loser what an asshole everybody gonna have to I know I love that was his pick his metal pick he used and loser what an asshole everybody she's has a new special right now called the dark queen it's streaming right now on Netflix absolutely hilarious thank you so much for being here it's the great and hilarious Adrian Appaloochee joining the show hi Adrian hi thank you for having me course great intro good intro you had a little thing in the, because I did a good one yesterday, but you showed

me what's what today because you had a little thing at the end. Just before you said her name. A little schmutz? A little zing to it. You had a little, you were like, you showed me everything but not everything. Yeah, a couple more, I put a couple more adjectives before I said her. I liked it. The lovely, the vivacious.

Vivacious. Vivacious and hilarious. That sounds insulting. Adriana Ap Vicious sounds vivacious is nice. It's a lovely term. I like vivacious What is vivacious? I don't know. Okay me neither It's a good outgoing vivacious She's very outgoing yeah lively and animated You've never been on a flight with Adrian. Not very vivacious. On a flight?

Why would I be vivacious on a flight? Oh, some people are vivacious on flights. Lewis Gomez. Yeah, Lewis J. Gomez. We talked about that as someone starting a conversation with you on an airplane. I hate it. But I keep headphones on the whole time.

But Lewis got into it with somebody over, the guy was on a phone call and he couldn't let it go and then so he had to say something to the guy and then other people though gave Lewis the like, thanks dude. That's the last thing you wanna do. They gave him like the thanks. But yeah, I also, I would wanna,

I'd like to see a, get a little scan of what the people who did this to Lewis looked like themselves You know, I mean, that's how they killed witches We have today I said different people for different things too And Bob, I think your perspective changed when you had a kid to uncertain things We were same as the baby crying and I talked to Fennoy about that. Fennoy has no kids doesn't want kids So when he has like a we're on the tarmac and this fucking baby And then I look over the one of the ladies I'm gonna last time he goes I look over and the lady's changing

Her baby's diaper like right in front of her. Oh, I've done the plane scene. You're like, where do you want to go? Like it's like it's like I promise you Those parents are as like they are inside going everybody fucking hates us. Yeah Also when there's a kid on a plane and I get it like you have to fly but there should be a he just for Jay's absolutely right though you have to know that the parents are I mean thoroughly embarrassed well they show it thumbs down thumbs down let me know you also hate this funny the kid doesn't know.

You really can while the baby's crying. Look at everybody else and be like, this kid fucking sucks, right? I did this kid. Yeah, this kid's the worst. I did that. When we were flying to Aruba with Max, he started fucking crying.

Boo, boo, Max. I stood up and I was like, we suck. I'm sorry, we suck. That's the right attitude. If I know you hated too, then I'm okay. If I could do anything to stop this kid from being a screaming ass right now, I would. I apologize to everybody. In comfort plus.

I mean, the people in the back go fuck themselves. They deserve that. Yeah, of course they do. Yeah, really also, if you're in coach and you're complaining about a baby, get your fucking life together. You barely made it on the plane. Yeah, guess what?

You and that baby were the same boarding group. That's right. But you don't matter group you've had a whole life and career and you and that baby are the same board and you deal with it yeah I don't know I've always felt that more with that but I said someone on their phone too I am so quick on that plane to trying to check out completely you are I've flown with you but I got that. But I- Headphones on, whatever I wanna hear. If there's a comedian on the plane-

I bring an eye mask. Don't even look at me. You do eye mask? If there's a comedian on the plane though, if we're flying together. I want the first 20 minutes, I love texting while people are boarding, just trashing everybody,

like look at her face. Look at this, he looks like this. I like having fun for the first 20 minutes and then I'll shut it down. It's too early. Nah, I don't like that. I like a fight breaking out that I could watch. Oh, yeah.

Love that. I like that too. Once I was there, there was a guy that was very upset. He was not getting on the plane and he's like a big, just burly black dude who's mad. And then he's trying to fight this gay flight attendant. Everyone was like, that's not even even fair but they were right near me They're right near me and I was just looking the whole time. So great. It is. Oh, it's having right at your seat

I'm just watching and he's like I'm getting on this plane He's like you're not then they call like, you know the police of the sky whatever I'm also I'm a big oaf So I also I also understand being a big oaf in people's way, but I am also blown away how much people don't give a fuck about spatial awareness. I always, very on purpose, when the plane stops and you hear, bing, is when everyone's a click, and just piles into the aisle, I stay. I always just stay, and by the way,

I'm gonna be in the first six to 10 ten people who leave we get it Jay your first class Even Adrian a comfort plus no, you're zone two your zone one. I'm sure so too is great You have a door deal after five thousand dollars how much people like they just pile in there and take the ends Swing things over their back and just, I've been hitting the head with bags and like not even an acknowledgement of anything. That is the time when you can have a fight with somebody. That is the prime time.

One time a lady, her luggage was behind me and I guess her husband or something was in front of me. She took her luggage and put it over my head. I was like, why didn't she, you're right behind me, he's right in front of me. Yeah, it's fucking. I don't like when they have when they don't have bag awareness, when they're getting on the plane,

or like have a backpack on, and they'll just turn and just smash you in the face. Yeah, constantly that happens. Not even acknowledge that you just got whacked in the face. And it bugs me that nobody else goes, hey. You just hit him in the face. Nobody says anything, they're just happy it wasn't them. I think a lot of these people too probably don't fly that often like I'm very aware of that stuff because I'm flying all the time

I think most of these people are not noted there once a year Yeah So they have they still dress up so excited for it to fly in a plane fucking lady who wants the window We don't use the friggin thing up and it's the only I sit near that person all the time Yeah, she needs to be murdered. It's the morning, it's dark, and she's got the fucking light. Or the full cross country or four hour plus flight where the guy got on in full suit and everything and you're like, when you land,

you're gonna look like shit. And they always do, and you're like, are you going somewhere right now? I hope not. Do you always look off? Once I put my seat back, if the window becomes mine, I shut that window too. I want all the window.

I don't want fucking the sun coming through. If there is, I know exactly what you're saying. If there's a peak of sill of the window behind me, I will dominate control over that to be like, no, that's one's going down. You want to be a lunatic with the one next to you, this one's not gonna be up. 20% mine.

Oh, I've had that, the half window stay open and it's just beating on a part of your neck. You feel like an ant being burned by a fucking. I would also think people are not gonna say anything to you, even if they're mad. Well, I don't do anything. But if you put that window down and they're like, I assume that even if they wanna say something something they're not going to the only thing

I know that I do which also I'm not gonna get a fart pillow, but I need to get an ass pillow for a thing I have a Flat ass my entire life all get a BBL and I think I said I would love that I have said if the audience fire pay for you if we could I said if we could crowd source that we can crowd fund That and get it Go fund me that gets me a BBL. I'll get a fat ass for sure. I 100% would do that. But In the meantime what I spend most of my time Yeah, I spend most of my time on a plane. I sleep the whole time but waking up every

Half hour at best and is to do this simply is to completely get out of my seat and put it on my right cheek for a while now. You better not go into a coma. And then a flip. He's going to get blood clots that shoot up into his heart. I'm going to wake up just screaming, like, my ass hurts so much. There's a comic that died from blood clots. Sore ass?

No, he didn't move around in his coma. He got the blood clot. You can die on the plane because your circulation doesn't happen and it get blood clots and they shoot up to your brain. Yeah, you're supposed to wear socks. Like these socks up to your knees. Yeah, they're compression socks.

Oh, they're terrible. For sit bone hips? They're not that bad. It feels like nylons. It's not the greatest. Does it have an Eagles logo on it? I love it. Oh, they're terrible. For sit bone hips? They're not that bad. It feels like nylons. It's not the greatest. Does it have an Eagles logo on it? I love it.

I want that so bad. Read the reviews, please, Preston. You might as well just carry a CPAP machine on the plane if you're going to drag that fucking thing. I have a lumbar pillow, too, that Mike Fennoyer gave me. It works. It's so good. Do you bring it on the plane?

I did, and I brought it on one gig, brought it on on the plane left it at the hotel completely it's too big for me to remember but an Ass pillow because what I do I start off always left cheek I know now put no pressure on the right cheek if you can because when you have to do the switch It's the only way or else. They're both gonna be sort of sore the whole time so Left ass cheek against the window. I'm assuming I windows over here. I'm always against the window and try to curl up in a ball to not bother anybody. I've lost

weight enough that I can click the seat no problem now. How does that feel? Seatbelt's great. Yeah. What is I was always I never needed I named the extender one time on a plane ever. And then it was all but I was always pin it to the very end and then click it. And it would be like just getting around. Like now there's like space on it, which is good. I had to travel with mine. And I had a Continental one.

So everybody on Delta knew, because the seatbelt's a different color. So I had a blue and then a gray seatbelt. So it was just fatso. All of us our weight has gone up and down and up and down and up and down. Yeah. Oh, I've had plenty of fluctuation.

But I mean, being able to use the regular seatbelt is such a groove one of the core a diss but where someone hates me on Every flight if there's somebody to my right at some point when I do that cheek shift I'm trying not to but I'm certain you've experienced with me Bobby in a car many many years ago I'm certain this guy's watching just like an a mouth open like right at his fucking ear almost for so long And when I when I flip cheeks again, I always open my mouth and go. Oh, this must have been terrible for him Well, he's gonna get about a half-hour reprieve when I switch over to his left cheek now I told you I go back over but if you're a guy sitting right to me, I'm definitely Awkwardly close to you. I have a feeling so I didn't I didn't know that I

snored on planes until I woke up mid-snore because I was actually doing this. I was going, snore, prrrr. And I woke up going, prrrr. And I just looked at the person next to me

and they were just looking at me like, what the fuck am I sitting next to? Are you joking? Like, are you faking being asleep? Do you are you a I would go and my lips would be numb because I must have been doing it for 20 minutes I had this last I had this last night in bed and I have had this happen on a plane before Especially like I kind of keep like my phone like on my lap I'm almost like holding it and just listening to Howard Stern or whatever and I just lean against and then if you feel the phone

Just like Joss or something at all. It is a severe overreaction of like Joe like yeah And you're like hey, no, nothing's wrong at all I think you have to look at the person next to you like are you all right? Did I drop my headphones, my one headphone on a plane once and I was too fat. I couldn't get down and get it. I was trying to hold my breath. I had to wait till everybody left the plane

and then get on my stomach and reach down and get it because I couldn't bend down. I can do it. But you did get it. That's what's important. I did get it, I did get it. And then when you got it, because I couldn't bend down. I can do it. But you did get it. That's what's important. I did get it, I did get it. And then when you got it, you ate it. We were talking about, we went to Leah,

I think I told you about this, Leah's, Louie's assistant's wedding, which was, look it. It was fun. It was a fun wedding, as far as the wedding's going. Wait, is that when you went the wrong day? was a fun wedding as far as you went the wrong day No, yes, that is when you went the wrong day When you were a tuxedo twice

Dawn what a moron. I was so mad at her Yeah, we went we showed up at the wedding. You went louis-vitton shopping I got her one you were so mad at her and you went and go bought her how does she learn? We're that's how you reward Yeah, you know what it was it was a I was trying to shake it off. You know, but it was You're so mad at her and you went and go bought her. How did she learn, Bobby, if that's how you reward her? You know what? It was, I was trying to shake it off, you know, but it was... Well, unfortunately, before you heard the Corey Holcomb tells you just to put her face

on the glass. Oh, I should have. Smush it up against the glass and let her know. I should have. That you're a man. Right against my Ford Ranger's fucking glass and then open the window and push her out the window and let her get some air. I heard someone talking negatively

about that Corey Holcomb thing with Cam Newton, obviously, like the face on the glass thing. Yeah, did you see that? And they were talking about Cam Newton just talking. Is this a new thing? Tell her. So no, so Cam Newton is a retired football player. Played for the Patriots.

He was a. Dresses like a three musketeer. He dresses crazy. He's a super high fashion guy, but he's also a religious guy. Like he wears dresses and stuff? No, but like. Fishnet like snow Rimmed hats a lot of a lot of colors patterns wear shit like like oh, yeah

But like exactly we're like an a Scott and like shorts with a braided belt. It's like Yeah, there you go. It's just like a Boy Scout. He's pretty hot They have the guys in shape for sure, but Cam Newton Had Cory Hogan, you know, Cory Holcomb is right the other guys in shape for sure became newton uh... had korea all your core health care uh... super funny why love i think he's hilarious but you know he is what he is very like the kind of patrice s crawl but he was on his pocket he was on this guy's podcast came newton and he was talking about uh... women he was just like look is

you'll hear women man is a but once in a while i got to put a face on the glass is about pushing their face in the glass they start putting videos of me and Bobby doing it to dawn and Christine just facing on the glass for the behavior how did cam respond to that well that's what's funny so cam you can see but he's in it now so I hear some of like the people critiquing him like and cam Newton just kind of but you see cam Newton being like ha Cory I don't you mean like you mean like uh

For example like something like he's like no put they face up on the glass. He's like yeah I don't know if I did this is the clip right here. You know watch is pretty funny Sometimes you got a hole ahead to the glass Let it know you stronger than her if she don't know you're strong I she gonna talk crazy hold her head to the glad I mean even if she called a cop ain't no proof you held her head to the glad at least that's how I live Hold her head to the glad when they see that he's wearing a jumpsuit made of AIDS quilt There is a little evidence it's called her mush face print Her tears on the glass

Bush face print on her nose grease her tears on the glass But go back to You know you know subservient the woman has to be to let you mush her face against the glass So you can only do it one time as soon as I see that hand coming a second time I'm gonna go back. I mean you could do it once well, it's fun the hand on the glass I think what he's implying is you got the head on the glass so now there's a foundation So what I assume is happening if you have a woman who's not accepting this which I assume most wouldn't The concept is it's like a cartoon They're up against the wall and all this does nothing they can't reach putting her putting your hand on top of the head

It's the putting the hand top of the head of some but you you put a hand top of someone's head right they can deacon go around your hand you have them up against the glass there's a little more of like your thing so the swings don't really do anything I'm not saying it's not brilliant thinking I'm just saying it's immoral I think it's good for one time yeah maybe two oh you want them you'll see because because first you're gonna be stunned like oh I'm being touched this has gotten physical and then when you realize like this isn't painful, but it is Humiliating my face is my especially if something's on the other side of the glass and people have to see like this

Okay, I'm being corrected So, yeah, see did we get to the cam Newton part And they're dressed like yeah, he's dressed like golden girls Establish male dog. Is this a mauve or a pink? He is dressed like way yeah he's dressed like golden girls established male dog is this a more of a pink he is dressed like an aging hot wife Cory Holcomb yeah he was just like a couch in the 80s god damn do he looks so funny but that is uh but yeah you'll see Cam Newton just he has to like sort of and also you can see Cory Holcomb is getting that slight feeling of like he's not taking this ride with me exactly

He's not on this journey. Yeah, he goes because he goes just play a woman Show you strong Words are fading off Round your woman and she think that you are equal to her you gonna put up with the bullshit every girl I've been with over six months head to the glass You gonna have to put up with the bullshit. Every girl I've been with over six months, head to the glass. Wait, I ain't even gonna get carried away. I'm gonna fire it up, because I'm here with you, bro. Best to ever do it, by the way.

Cam Newton right here. I'm gonna punch your woman or none. Sometimes you got a whole lot of... Oh, you got a final can, dude. Can we please show Adrienne the... Did you see this with... Probably not. The Total Bitch channel?

You didn't see this? No. You have to see this. Oh, this guy's channel you didn't see this you have to this guys I'm so glad you're in here By the way, we found out me by both out there like the actual nature of the relationships We have is both of these pictures start off with us going like Christine kicking over here of the relationships we have is both of these pictures start off with us going like Christine kick you over here and she was like what am I doing go put in the face in the glass thing she goes oh okay I'm gonna make a face at least your girl was on the show and knew it I had to go into detail like no no no it's like Cory Holcomb who on the show and you think that's okay to put it's like no

the bit is that people can you just put your face against the glass? Christine was like what she's like, oh, I got it. This is a place her face on the glass Tell me at first you're just like come over here. You're like lean by the window Can I see yours again, I want to see yours again. Yeah, I like you you could tell dawn was half into it. Yeah I like you. You could tell Dawn was half into it. Yeah. Yeah. Christine really, really sold it.

Yeah. She closed her eyes today. She's frowning. Yeah, you look like, you look better. It's like you're learning lessons. Yeah, this is- You're getting the point of it. I learned a lot that day.

This is your fifth time getting your face to the glass. Oh yeah, I gotta go, put your cheek up on your cheek marks. You know what's great? Jay has his laces here. Ah! Ah! Ah!

You're getting your face to the glass by a transsexual. this is what happens when you say you don't like my nail color There's a web Instagram YouTube guy who it's called total bitch the channels called total bitch and he puts out these well It's a different thing because he's he's not it looks like it's in the world of these Yeah, like I like the hate podcasts, but he's he's not it looks like it's in the world of these yeah like like the hate podcast but he's a fan like contacts us fan like if you watch this at first you're like who the fuck is this motherfucker but then as you watch it you're like oh this guy's whole area and he's making it all up on part like hit my the one about me goes that I'm a I'm actually hiding that I'm

evangelical Christian I want you to think I'm a new metal looking guy because I'm actually hiding that I'm evangelical Christian. I want you to think I'm a New Metal looking guy because I'm hiding the fact that Big J comes from, they used to call me Big James because I would always read the King James Bible to people. It's like, it's purposefully ridiculous. Like, Soders is like, Soder was comedy partners with Lou Baga and then Lou Baga went to go on making the Mambo number five after he found out

Soder was writing a song called Mambo Number four it's like they did one with Lewis all of his was actually true Yeah, yeah, it was true. It goes because Lewis as he has a bunch of shell companies, and it's like gas digital Story wars Legion of Skanks is a fully scripted show. It's so funny the guy's great We've hired him for stuff since but they did this yeah, and I think you like this That one Where he essentially kills off his own career, but only because he's secretly been building another Is actually really just Bobby Kelly

I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this.

I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this.

I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have seen this. I have look nothing alike. A little bit, we have the same eyes.

We're just fat. You've got to see Bobby in his glasses. It's different, but this guy, yeah, he's great. Shout out Total Bitch. Fantastic. That's very funny. So how is the special doing? I mean, I guess good.

What is the barometer? You can't know. You don't know. When we were in Cuba, I remember- That fun situation? Yeah, it was fantastic, but I remember. That fun situation? Yeah, it was fantastic, but I remember, we have this hurricane coming in, we have nothing.

And then I went to, I had to find a cafe that still had wifi, and all of a sudden I start getting text messages from you and Louie, pretty much threatening. Ari. Threatening Ari through me. I thought I was being pretty nice, and then he just wouldn't give in.

I was like, I'm gonna have to go tell dad. You went and told fucking dad. So I told dad. And then you got the other fucking cousin involved. Who was the cousin? Me. Well, it was your phone though. Yeah, but it was my phone.

All of a sudden I just keep getting these texts. And then Louis sent me a text message. Yeah, Ari's happy to go off the grid a week before Right, something is happening. his first produced special that's gonna make it to Netflix is coming out. And then you can't get in touch with him and he's like, just call my manager. I'm like, no.

I didn't deal with your manager, I dealt with you. But Louis sent a- Call my producer's manager. Louis sent a fucking talking to. Good, that's what he needed. He sent a, listen Bobby, I know this, I need you to make sure REC sees this, and then went on this fucking, I mean a talking to,

let him know how life works, how things happen, if you're a producer, and I read this thing, I was like, oh shit, I was so excited to read it. I was so happy to. Did you read it to him? How long did it take for him to go okay? Well we, I mean look. He also had three minor fights while out in Cuba, I was so happy to... Did you read it to him? How long did it take for him to go, okay? Well, we... I mean, look...

They also had three minor fights while out in Cuba, so it was probably a good time of day to go, you know what, Ari? If you think I'm wrong about you, hear what Louie thinks about you. We're in the middle of a heart. Louis C.K. also, for the record, doesn't know directed the special. Right. Directed special, Ari produced. But you also knew what happened, because I seen you in Austin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, he's being insane. Yeah. Oh. Ari? I had no idea what. I was like, he's being insane. Yeah. Oh. Ari. I had no idea what was happening. Oh, you didn't even know. I was very excited that he produced it

and Louie directed it. I was like, to me, I told you this before, you're one of the funniest people out there and I was excited that people were getting behind you on this and then all of a sudden, all the shit started coming in. Now there's a hurricane coming in. No, I know. And I just got service I'm we're just trying

to find food that day and I was like we should go to the beach and check out the ocean I'm like but there's a hurricane coming in you know special premiering on Netflix this week there's a lot of things going on. Let's go to the beach. Off the grid. So God, whatever is going to make us the least reachable. Please. I mean, this is a very important part of my career. No to me. What do you mean? Do you not know what happened? I do not know what happened. I just didn't say I just say I just know what was coming through my phone after it was all to Ari through me from something to piss me off and also said, Hey,

can you email the Booker at mothership and tell him I want to take this flight so I had to do an errand for him while he also was destroying my life I did do it because I knew he was gonna come around but like the fact that he even did that was so crazy I thought you were reading it and knew it was happening no I had no idea I just he was like all. I thought you were reading it and knew it was happening. No, I had no idea. I just, he was like, all right. I can't wait for this to be over so I can tell you. I was like, listen, dude.

I was like, listen, you just gotta sign this thing. We gotta download this and sign it. Then we got into a fight over him signing it because I'm like, okay, I'll figure it out for you because it's on my phone. You know, and he's like, I got it, I got it. I'm like, you don't have it. You have a flip phone. You don't even know what the fuck you're doing I don't know what the fuck he has. I know there's some wacky burner

He showed up in another country with Canadian money. Yeah, I mean he's not doing well He's just so I can't wait to tell you what he did so he I'm sitting there trying to I actually was like okay Dude, you fit I had to like let it go because I was fucking panicking. I know Bobby's worried about tangible problems like why do we come to Cuba in hurricane season? Oh especially double hurricane. The description of what they said was coming to Cuba was the exact verbatim description of perfect storm in the film perfect storm. Were you guys coming? Two hurricanes are coming towards each other. And they're like great. No Bobby I get a little bit of a thing with this one.

I was like, they said a hurricane's coming. Bobby said we're OK, but the hurricane's coming. And I went, I don't know why they did this dumb trip. Can I ask you a question? Because I've never gotten your perspective of when you guys were back here. Did you guys know what was coming? Yes.

When we got that text from you, we were like, OK, he's alive. And then I realized I hadn't heard from you for a couple days. I text Donna's like Bobby's like he's here Like he's alive. It was a back-to-back perfect storm to hurricanes two days meeting on the place They decided to go fucking Havana where they're walking down dark alleyways Ari doesn't want to go on a vacation. Ari wants to travel. There's a difference in that risk at all That's yeah Are you just gonna go you want to go to a place and enjoy the beach and the lovely thing. Ari's like, yeah, Ari's like, I think there's a forest you can go into where the

monkeys kill. Can I say something? I want to say this. The fact that a hurricane came in saved my life. Do you understand that? Yes. We were supposed to go to like three different spots and the hurricane killed all that stuff. So we were supposed to go to this jungle part and hike. We were supposed to go to like Trinidad part on the other side. We always got a checklist of things. It's like a scavenger hunt of things you shouldn't be doing. It's like start a fight with

a local Cuban biker gang. Okay, let's try this next, Bobby. Let's go to the seediest place in the dark. But I'm gonna do it in Spanish, even though I don't know Spanish fully. Yeah, Ari also wanted to take all of his walks. He's like, all right, it's pitch black now. Let's go down this dark alley where someone's crying down there.

We should see what that people are crying about. But he, we were sitting at this cafe, only place open, and it had Wi-Fi. I'm trying to download this stuff, it's taking forever. I had to keep like cutting it off, putting it back on, the stuff would come in, it wouldn't open. So I'm his assistant at this point. I'm getting yelled at by Louie.

Tell Adrian to tell the mothership I need a new flight. But that's what he's doing. He's like, nope, deal with my manager, and then also can you do this for me? Nope. At one. He's like, nope, deal with my madder. And then also, can you do this for me? Nope. At one point I was like, dude, you got to just take care of this. You got to remember where she is right now.

This is the biggest. Also, if that didn't work, I was going to call all his friends and have them call you. Or like text you. Why? Because you were the only communication I had. I was going to go, Rogan, you, everyone, every single person. You accepted full Ari responsibility.

Yeah, when you're with him, he's your child. You're handling him. I wish I could read Louis' fucking... And there's certain things too where you go, hey, can I talk to Ari on your phone? You go, I can't because if I forget to say something, he's gonna tweet out that I'm gay or I'm dead or I'm dead or I die or heavy everyone I love you all I'm dying in Cuba yeah you can't give him the phone and then you have to go hey man my

family saw that he goes but the worst you have a friend did they get it they don't get comedy the worst part is is that I found he finally signed it, I sent it back, and then you're like, hey, I think he, can he sign all the things on the, and I was like. I think he signed in the wrong place. I was like, fuck. I know. So I had to go back in and be like, hey bro, you gotta re-sign all, he's like, where? I signed it.

I'm like, listen dude, this isn't my thing, like I'm a comic too. I never apologize to you. It's okay. You don't need to apologize. I feel bad that you had to go through that fucking rigorous flip side of it is that there's also no I mean like how much I know with me so I assume with this I know he's very passionate about your special so it's like he's So hands-on and so walking it through the process found me for me particularly got like my producer the director Everything was like through Ari and he did he really made it like plug-and-play for me,, he got my producer, the director, everything was through Ari and he really made it

plug and play for me, which is awesome. But exactly that, he might do something like, it's like, oh, but he did that, but then he wore a Ku Klux Klan thing and climbed the Washington Monument. It's like, oh, Jesus. Shit. I was dealing with,

He said, Neville's on fire. I was dealing with, I was dealing with travel Ari. I was dealing with... He said, Nevis on fire. I was dealing with travel Ari. I was dealing with that Ari. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then there's your special Ari, who is very caring and really gives a shit. I was dealing with, I don't wanna talk to anybody, I just wanna go learn a new language

and eat some type of fruit that you're not supposed to eat, you might die from. Yeah, I can't right now, I'm learning how to fire walk. He's the best though, but god damn. He is the best, but you got it done, right? We did get it done, yeah. And that was the only thing you needed. That was fantastic. That was the only thing I needed, yeah.

Was just the signal. What was the, why was it so important to get that? Why couldn't you wait until he came back? Cause I think he was gonna come back, like they needed it on that Friday, I guess like deliverables or whatever. So I guess they needed the Friday before it's airing on that Tuesday and he was coming back Sunday. They needed it on that Friday, I guess, like deliverables or whatever, so I guess they needed it the Friday before it's airing on that Tuesday,

and he was coming back Sunday. Listen, at the end of the day, somebody would have just forged the signature, like if he wasn't gonna do it. Sure. You can just put a star, David, with an A. Yeah. Sure.

Just as mazel. Yeah. Does it just say the word mazel with a Jewish star? We were trying to do it the right way. Just draw a big nose that looks like an A. Yeah, it was fucking hilarious. mazel with a Jewish drug big nose. It looks like an a Yeah, it was it was fucking I'm like don't you want your money back? You paid for that. Yeah, that's what we were talking about. You're the thing is don't you want to recoup the money you put it in? This none of it made sense to me. He doesn't care though He really is like bite your nose this bite your face

Well when he shuts down when he goes on that travel shit, he didn't want to he he was like, we're not looking at our phones, we're not doing any internet, we're not fucking around with any of that. He wanted to stay in like, thank God Christine and Jay talked to me before because he was like, wanted to stay in the hood. Like where he wanted. Isn't it all the hood? No. Well, yes.

No, it's a place called Bat Castle. It's full of bats. Well, he was like, I don't want to stay in the tourist spot. I'm like, I'm pretty sure there's no, like tourist spots are just safer spots. It's full of bats. Well, he was like, I don't want to stay in the tourist spot. I'm like, I'm pretty sure there's no, like, tourist spots are just safer spots. It's Cuba. I don't know if it's not, you know, St. Martin, you know what I mean? He was like, I don't want to see other people having fun. I'm like, not at all.

Like, do you want to just see people struggling? Yeah. You don't vacation in a place where most jobs that are there require a machete. Yeah. So almost everything, whether you're a coconut cutter or a fucking tour guide or a fucking car repairman. Jay and Christina at the last minute, they were like, dude, you can't stay there. You have to stay. Like we looked at other places. By the way, to stay at fucking Escobar's place was like a thousand dollars a night. Like the greatest places in the world there were cheap For what it was why don't you guys stay there?

I mean really don't my wife want of finding a really nice spot in on like no I really want she didn't she sent them to a fucking Cuban hostel is what happened No, absolutely our love the hostile there was a hustle other people obviously I went up back to enjoy a cigar While this other family was having a conversation There was kids playing and whatever. I mean, that's not comforting at all Oh that you were staying at a guy's house. You do that at a hotel There's people there it was it was a it was a whole a whole building They owned and it was as it was a state with a family

It was on a historic street where nobody could go down It was like the end when the power came back on. Right. That you and that family celebrated the family whose house it was who let you stay there. You were like, you guys were there like exchange students. We did throw rice in the air. No, it was pictures where El Guapo's birthday happened in the three amigos. I looked at the other places we were gonna stay and they were in the fucking hood and the buildings were just crappy. The place we did stay, it's literally the one block

in downtown Havana that is historic and they keep it up and it was beautiful and the family was great. I would stay there again. I would stay there again. Did you simply put your money in your pocket? I actually slept with it on my waist. I had a money belt and I had all my money on me at all times, yes. Damn, dude.

And then fuck it. Ari probably left it on the counter. Oh, fuck it, Ari. Dude, I brought my Canadian. Nobody wanted his money. I had to use my money all the time. I don't know why. And then he made me bring $2 bills.

He's like, make sure you get $200 and $2 bills because they love that down there they love a two dollar bills like I already read like an article that said like the two dollar bill is coveted in Cuba so Bobby of course over extreme everything Bobby got six grand in two dollar bills and then nobody and then nobody they're like no no they took them but they were they were just two dollars Right like I took them like oh, I put the weird I put the first one down and I kind of slid it to the guy as a tip He was an Ari was there and I said I go here. He goes. Thanks

No, no, no two dollar bill. He goes. Yeah. Thanks. I pre-crasse is okay He goes I just want you know you're doing with a big dog. That's dose de lairo I just want you to know you're dealing with a big dog. That's Dos Deleros. That's not even a fucking word. Dos Deleros. Deleros. Dos Deleros, there they go. See, okay.

You guys were supposed to go on a scavenger hunt or something? No, no, no, we were supposed to go, he wanted to go out, I wanted to stay in the city and kind of go out from there. He was like, we'll get the place in the city, finally conceded to the place that I got. And then we were supposed to take a fucking bus or a...

Oh my fucking God, it gets worse and worse. I was one of those cars way out into the country. The bus is mostly for chickens, but they allow some people. He's not lying, he's not lying. It's a chicken bus, but they also will once in a while, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So we were supposed to go, he wanted to go west,

very far, like two and a half hours out into the jungle. You guys are talking in compass directions now? You're not even talking about a certain part of town. Let's head east. So what'd you guys do instead since you had the hurricane? We couldn't leave, it was illegal to be on the streets. So you just were in the hostel? For a day and a half in the hospital,

and then for another day probably you couldn't really go, you couldn't go out at night, cause it was pitch black. They were staying in a beautiful place with his family, unfortunately it was wet so they had to huddle up in a hallway that wasn't being flooded from the hurricane. This is a horrible idea led by Ari's horrible ideas. Ari's room was flooding with the hurricanes. I just went outside and he's outside taking all his socks, jamming it into the window

because it was coming in. And then there was a lady next door. Now we have the water comes from downstairs and goes up to the roof and then everybody kind of has their own but we shared a big tank of water with the lady who was next to us but she was like Romanian. She was like this weird like seven different she was skinny fat skinny fat skinny fat she was just a weird bodied woman and she wound up taking a bath in the hot tub. Using all the water? So we went to turn the water on and it was just gone because this tub of shit took a bath.

She took a bath and then she opened her door and she was like I made the rice and beans and she was like a gypsy. In the bath water? No, she was doing dishes. So her taking a bath and doing dishes took all the water for a day and a half. We had like bottled water, we had a brush our teeth with that and Like the worst trip ever it was actually the worst and best. It's the worst trip ever exclusively But no, it's not it's not you didn't enjoy it at all

You were a messenger for terrible news to Adrian We had a With all the shit that went down, fucking blast, did a lot of great shit. Yeah, Ari pays extra for the castaway style adventure. Hey, let's go and actually not be able to have anything. I told Jay the story, because my rule in my brain was like, I'm going here and I'm gonna just,

I'm gonna go with Ari. I'm gonna try, because I'm afraid when I travel. I was, so I'm like, I'm just gonna go with him. You can't do that in jungle-like places. You can't do that in jungle like places. Not in the jungle, you can do it like in, I did this. I did the exact same thing with Ari in Toronto. I was just gonna say you could do it in Toronto.

Can you not do it in Toronto? No, no, it was Toronto exactly. We went in the night before on purpose and Ari did these things I would never do. He goes, let's go eat at the restaurant where you can't see. Like, it's a thing. Let's go experience it, dude. Then he goes, let day. It's a thing. Let's go experience a dude

Then he goes let's just do a bar crawl. Let's just go find place I have live music and we'll walk from one making our way back to the hotel Buddy, I had a blast we had such a good time. That's out of my comfort zone. It's not what I would do Yeah, I'm so a hotel dweller So I'm like he got me out and we did it and then the next day was the show we walked around the town Like the farmers market thing to have or like the flea market all day and then went to the show. It was great I the ones you're talking about stuff like that. He goes, oh You wouldn't go to turn it turned out to Bago

It's like no because you don't want to go to a resort dude You want to go live like fucking people who like pierce their own faces. I did the same thing you did in Toronto I just did it in the third world country during a It's crazy what you did so he what day he goes he goes yo I want to go to this record store so I'm like okay so we're walking and walking and we get you know it's in the ghetto and then all of a sudden we couldn't find it and something he's the guy's like will you look record and he's a gay record store Spanish thank you very much you thank you Babbel. Thank you very much. Thank you Babbel. Babbel's the shit. Babble app.

So we look at this hallway and there's just records on the wall of this dilapidated building and so we're walking up three stories then we have to walk through some lady's kitchen with her, I don't know, son-in-law and a baby and food cooking and then we go through their living room. No communications. It's just like in a guy's house? It was in this woman's house. Yeah, they're at a guy's house. Then we go into a room, it's just this fucking dilapidated room with all kinds of records. And I'm like, we're gonna be murdered.

Yeah, it sounds like a murder situation. But Ari's like, this is great. And I'm sitting in the corner, literally looking for weapons, and behind me I just hear a noise. It's just, I'm like, what the fuck is this? Shop owner's wife. I'm like what the fuck is this?

Shop owner's wife. I'm like there's somebody snoring in the room next to me. Like there's a bedroom back here. I put my phone around the corner. It's just a hostage. In this room there's a full grown hog. There's a pig in the room like desperately going get me the fuck out of here bro.

Cause they're gonna eat it. Yeah of course. And I'm like, Ari, Ari, and he's just going through jazz fucking Cuban jazz records. This is great. I'm like, yo dude, there's a fucking, there's a huge pig in this room over here. He's like, I saw that, but here's air supply is greatest hits. First person. My brain first goes, this is what they're going to feed us to this fucking pig. This is why this pig so big from the other Canadian tourists that came up here to buy a goddamn record It's already gonna bring home records. Did you buy any are you are you trails with a bag?

I need records they he bought of course he did he bought like 50 records 50 records how do you get him home? You can he just took him home. They took his cigars. They didn't take his records He brought 50 cigars. I him, he brought a suitcase this time. No, he brought a duffel bag and he carried, he had two things of cigars from the Hotel National. He's so smart and so dumb and so many other things. That describes him perfectly. I admire so much his like fucking go for it,

even the things like when he describes what he's doing with his life, he's like doing the farewell tour and then he's gonna go, he's like, yeah I think we're're gonna go live in London Indefinitely and I'm like that sounds like a fucking nightmare to me like we're describing. It's like it's so you know this He's going down for six months to South America He's going from Alaska all the way down into South America, and then he's going to live

Yeah, by my calculations usually we normally does why all of his team usually hate his guts is usually what he normally does why all of his team usually hate his guts quietly because he puts a special out and then they go irons hot dude let's go right now let's tour and he goes now I'm gonna vanish for a year and then when I come back everyone will have moved on from that special and then the ticket sales won't change and we'll start over again but you know what your specials are right now and that's right and it The Dark Queen. I watched it with my wife. Great name, you two. I sat down with, I go, you're gonna watch this.

Fucking loved it. Thought you were hilarious, which I, when she watches, she'll get up in five minutes if it's not funny. She thought it was hilarious. It's an amazing special. It's on Netflix right now. What a great name.

You fucking murder it. You're one of the funniest people out there right now, and I'm so glad Netflix It's a very you're very easy person to be happy for you. Everyone's excited for you. This is great Yeah, it's it's an awesome special and one of the funniest doing it out there Make sure you check it out the Dark Queen streaming right now on Netflix of course go to punchup.live Robert Kelly for all this dates Mars Plains, New Jersey dojo a comedy. It's this weekend everybody a few tickets left I don't know what show but a few tickets left for that.

A holiday show. I'm sorry. Friday night, one show. Saturday, a deuce shows. Nice. A holiday show. December 7th, Dose. Dose.

December 17th, I'm sorry. 7 p.m. The Village Underground, New York City. Reserve your tickets. Comedycellar.com. Let's check out our YouTube page, of course. And me this weekend, everyone. Saturday and Sunday. That's all we gotta YouTube page of course and me this weekend everyone Saturday and Sunday that's all we got to worry about Saturday and Sunday I'm in Houston they moved the days around cuz I'm filming

tires on Friday after that Philadelphia everybody let's fill there's very few tickets left I think for most of the show so fill them up there was a mistake saying there was a Sunday show so if you bought tickets for it get your head out of your ass. The Eagles play at 7 o'clock make sure to go for a call big punch up dot live slash big Jay Okus in Robert a big punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly. Yeah punch up dot live go there owned by I don't own it No, you're the proprietor. I don't know what that means. I understand. You're the face of the because I'm not a face You are your face Thank you so much Adrian, we'll be right back to say goodbye. I think maybe not. Yeah, maybe isn't it funny before we go Can I say this is pretty funny that when you walk in the energy the fact that our last day of the week

Broadcasting is Wednesday's and it's hump day for everybody else when I come in I come in with such a like pep because it's like the Difficulty of the week is over and you're like an hour and 45 minutes of talking to one of my best buddies on the air it's gonna be delightful but everybody else leaving here is like can't believe I have two more fucking days of this but they have one more day of us Thursday that's right there you go enjoy