The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Werewolf or Jacob?

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

A sound clip ruins Jacob's day and Jay goes to the 76er's game with his daughter.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with Big J. Oakerson and Dan Soder. We're a stoned hang in a dark basement. Right now we can't make it dark enough in here. And I know. We're not here. Now they have the weird middle-lice dome lamp we have to have for some reason. Oh. Because this is for...

Click it. I don't know how to shut it off. It's one of those. Boom. Nope. Right there. Because we're not not taping video taping today. Hell yeah. This is so much better. I mean for my best New Japan shirt Is that your best New Japan shirt? Yeah, it's my formal Who said Recently and something maybe it was Lewis or something maybe on scant I forget I don't want to blame him if it's him

Lewis or something maybe on this can I forget I don't want to blame him if it's him Mm-hmm, but it was just like is Dan like Dan's got money now He's doing like he's doing good. You know his career's in great spot because When it's gonna be funny when he gets or or you think he's gonna get eventually some style and stuff and I'm like Never I think Dan's gonna rock a Listen, you got to go to an awards thing for something. Yeah, you hire someone to throw on the fucking thing. You hire someone to dress you. Of course, or you just go flat out of tucks. Yeah, you know, I mean, but and you can pull that off, but I believe you would have

$20 million in the bank and buying brand new like Yoke is in a shirt. Hell yeah. Yeah, I'd be going to pro wrestling teas and just load enough on Eddie Kingston shirts. I don't know what I'm retarded. When I get the dream is to be able to wear jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies like most of the time. Yeah, I was forever. I always loved how successful Adam Sandler was

because of how he dressed. You just could see how successful he was. Oh yeah. You'd be really that dressed like a bucket of shit. You're either the richest person in the world, or you're on see how successful. Oh yeah. You'd really, that's dressed like a bucket of shit. You're either the richest person in the world or you're on opiates. Yeah, yeah. That's true.

You're the person on cops. If you're walking into a store, a restaurant in basketball shorts, you got a lot of cash, or you're looking to strip some wire. If Adam Sandler, as a, when he lets his beard kind of come in too, yeah, like not, not tight.

Shlubby, dude, I love shlubby. But I'm saying when you go to the thing, it's like you'd want him off your block if you just saw him. Yeah, but then if you're like, that's how I'm saying it, like, that's a point. Oh my god! Let's go shoot hoops. Oh my god, you can bowl! And we've been into the bonfire, Faction Talk Series 6M 103 on Big Joker. So that's Dan Soda.

We're just trying to have a can him because we're together again. We're reunited and it feels so good. I was, uh, man. What're reunited and it feels so good. I was Man, what a weird prisoner a war. Yeah, what's funny is That was a joke that Canada was keeping me there. It was the United States that wouldn't let me back in the country and everyone was so like I got pretty anti-Canadian. Oh, can you believe this? You're like actually the Canadians been one guy said and picture him It and the ocean line trying to solve the border We're gonna break this thing off cut this whole fucking thing off

Yeah, we have a whole crew here everybody the whole crew is in studio. We didn't know we were gonna have Jacob today's experience his first in digestion ever Huh? I don't know maybe it will describe what's happening describe the field nauseous now my Part of my abdomen's on fire. Did you throw up almost but I didn't what's the last time you've thrown up? I did once last year and then it's been years before that she rarely throw up I rarely God I never saw my problems. What's the pain? Like is it like if you turn a certain way or is it there the whole time? It's consistent. Is it the first time Jacobs ever had indigestion? That's what I'm wondering I walk around like the incredible Hulk I always have indigestion

That's the secret All that what always on what did you? I ate the same thing I always eat like my diet didn't change. That's why I don't understand what happened Maybe you're missing Florida that much you think do you have an enemy that could be doing food? I was raging against being here internally yesterday That might be it Your pilot flamers lit again. I was furious yesterday. Ah! If I want maybe stress buddy. Don't like it in here. I don't do anything to you just have it.

I fucking hate it here. So you just had one of those moments where like, I don't fucking let me be pop something in your, in your sternum from getting angry. You popped a stitch. But I'm old school like I just, maybe I just fight. You see, I quietly give myself an ulcer without realizing.

The way you're supposed to like a man. Jacob sees. Now also because I said, I'm trying to find ways you think you may have like hurt yourself I quietly give myself an ulcer without realizing. The way you're supposed to like a man. Jacob Seaths. Now also, because I'm trying to find ways you think you may have hurt yourself and you don't even know. So food didn't change at all. Now I'm aware I was made aware recently, only minutes ago that Joey Logano won his race yesterday. And we've seen the way you're willing to celebrate with other men watching.

You actively celebrate. What would you do when we're not there So that's what I'm wondering That's gonna kind of parkorn your house where you took a sternum shot and didn't remember I Was I mean I was low key. I was more. I was more low key I was scream. I mean the neighbors probably heard when it fun when he did win because I wasn't There was a bit of that you know I don't at level often times I have a I have to wonder if that is the Michael Jackson transforming or Jacob Me too I always have to do a split second check where I'm like I don't know what would I really hate that comparison

You fucking lost it but one is joy and one is transforming shit that's so far back to the sound same pitch it is the same that's so I don't want to sound like that. It sounds so cool. It sounds so cool. It sounds so cool. Two minutes turning into werewolves. You ruined my favorite clip for me, Dan. You ruined one of my lifelong clips. My favorite things ever.

Michael Jackson. I used to make fun of it. Now I'm making fun of myself. You shame me. I just noticed something. I just noticed. Wow. I'm an observationist. My tum tum is burning right now. No, dude. Did you hear it, Blackloo? Did you? I hate that so much. I just can love my my favorite clip in the game. I Brought this up on the air. I gave you this. I edited that Michael Jackson clips and you took it from me Damn, that is really funny. Why anyway?

My point being Jacob is maybe last night you turn to a werewolf And then you don't remember and you turn back and then that's still what hurts Westchester or something was there space. I don't know make a change get out of Queens Connecticut something here some water. I Don't know any well. I don't have to commute from. If I steal Joey Logano for you in a fun kidnapping thing and bring them to your door, will you forgive me for ruining the Michael Jackson clip? It does hurt. How bad is it going to take it?

It's going to take something. It's okay. I just going to see how I can move them out and for my friend Jacob. Do you want to take a lot from me today? You want to get your folks in the horn and I'll see if I can convince him to move some more closer up here and you can get in that room. Is it the dolls? Do we need to ship the dolls?

I don't want to live with my parents. Don't you though? No, I don't. But don't you? But you're having a good lunch. I don't like it. Good lunches. They let you play drums in the garage and they're super cool.

They never get upset with you. I didn't like my lifestyle down there. I liked my lifestyle. All right. You're in your lifestyle. You're a lifestyle guy. I like what I could do. I can't like my life down there. I like my lifestyle. All right. You're in your lifestyle. You're a lifestyle guy. Like what I could do. I can't do any of it here. Is it warm weather? Same room swinging? Is it warm weather? Is it just outdoor activities? That's a combination. I'm definitely a warm weather person, but I do a lot of outdoor stuff down there. I'm way more active. Yeah, but there's places you can go commutable

to the city where you can do outdoor. I don't have a car. I don't have a mask transit is miserable. I don't want to go anywhere. It's awful. That's why maybe you should get out of the city and commute into the city for work. Why don't you lead a camping trip

where we all go camping together? I've never been camping. What? I've never been camping. Really? Well, you're now a thoresman. You straight up as never been. Jacob, by the way,

once that campaign when he starts rolling in, buddy, you're, you're, you're a, you're a, you pick a car. Pick out any car you want, buddy. Look at a beam or I'd say. Think, think Tesla, Jacob. I do want a Tesla

model S. I have no idea what bonfire is going to do. But campaign I could tell you for sure is a product that works 100% of the time. And two two cans get you there every time. Three cans will get you out of a long term relationship. Four cans will help you lose a family. Five you can disappear. Five that's the point. Yeah. Two and a half bottles of wine. That's when you just make you make thumb and Louise like decisions. Yeah you make it Goldie Haunted overboard. You hit a pay phone to diners. Start calling loved ones and tell them you're out. Yeah. Don't look for me. I pulled a money. It's all mine. Loose at it. We discussed this the last time he said he drank six of them in one go.

Yes, that's three bottles of wine. Is that a rack? Is that a rack? Is that a rack? It's a magnum. Three, half a rack is 12. Three with a hard one's three with a soft one. So we're really well at that.

Okay, so you didn't do six. That would knock me on the side. So you started with a bottle and a half a wine and then had three mimosas. I'm building a tolerance guy. By the end of, by the end of, if you would have done six bottles of wine, he would have thought he was Eddie Vetter.

Oh yeah, for sure. He would have just believed it. Yeah, he'd be looking in here and seen Eddie Vetter. Oh man, I knew it. He's just doing Eddie Vetter, talk to Will the whole time. He was like, shut up, I'm watching the mess. I knew it all this time.

I knew it. I knew I was gonna be campaign. I was gonna become this guy. Campaign, I love you. I really have no idea how Eddie Vedder sounds when he talks. He's, it's, I heard him on Starrin. That's what I heard him. It really is.

It's always an affected tone. Yes, I, it's, it's, it's depth an affected town Yes, I It's depth yeah, for sure. It's all the is no. We have a video of him and depth on stage together We both county should be counting out counting We both county should you count it out counting. I don't know what three He's gonna play. We're greedy. He's gonna play and he's gonna sing He's gonna love I restart the count and Johnny both Somewrap Johnny you go he's on the outside of the stage. Hey Ed Ed You know if you keep backing like this I'm gonna get grumpy

Eddie veteran The plaid with the jeans. It's either like a fifth grader or any better Fifth grade boys Johnny Depp pulled all this off till he didn't Oh, this is a recent now it's like 10 years old. I Think he's watching this before have we we? Yeah. I need to lose ruin to several times. It'd be funny if it starts the video where he came. Where he hits playing, he goes, oh shit, oh shit. I said shit.

Why is it the end of this? No, no, no, no, no, no. It started from the beginning. Fuck. I sent you guys this video a name to come town. I honestly didn't click because I thought it was a Sniper so to come town. I was like, click because I thought it was a separate come town. I was like, I'll probably listen on my own later.

I always assume it's just an Eddie veteran video you're gonna send me and call it come town. And then pull away from the video and it's loose. Hey, he goes, it's me with Eddie and Johnny. I'm about to blast, Jay. I'm about to blast. I'm losing it.

I'm at the edge. Do you think Eddie Vedder loves Johnny Depp? Yes. Yes. For sure? Yes. Eddie's wife was tweeting about his innocence the other day. Oh my God.

The accessories between the two of them? I believe nothing she says. Who Amber Hears. His lawyer is rock. I believe everything he says. There's nothing. Well, he's been pretty believe everything he says. There's no. Well, he's been pretty up front of his own. She goes, weren't you passed out on drugs and alcohol on a bathroom of a private jet?

He's like, yes. Quickly, he's like, oh yeah. Oh, that's me when they beat around the bush. He's like, you're asking if I've done cocaine in that particular place. And yes, I have. Also, it was pretty good. Pretty sure it was from Colombia. Which I could find that guy again,

believe he died in a cartel issue. Swear to God felt like I was flying. He was a big fan of blows, sent me a little. Great. My favorite. Yeah, Eddie Veteran and Johnny Depp, those Vend diagrams, they overlap. Yeah, they love each other. Oh

They both love they both love pro choice against I bet. Oh, yeah, they love just I bet these guys voting I bet these guys love a good abortion man. These guys love these guys constantly blow nuts up deep. Hey, it's Johnny solo Check out what do you think of this? Is he ripping it? Listen, it's time for night. I'm digging it. Yeah, I'm like, is he good at guitar? I think he is.

I think he's like, actually just like, He's good enough. He's been playing for years and years. He loves him. You and Christine. I feel love him. You and Christine. I feel like the Amber Herd trial makes me feel like if me and Jay ever went to court, like people would find out who I really am. Yeah.

You're damn new. Jay's lawyer is potty to her. It's just Jay's his own lawyer who's representing himself. You guys run that back, Christine. I got you. You can't put her on. You can't put her on, dude. She's gonna get crushed.

Can I be honest with you guys I just zoned out for 30 seconds you guys talking and fell in love with Johnny I was like I swear to you cuz I started watching going like what's the fuck you know how comedy works? I'm like, what am I gonna say funny cuz he goes his solo's coming up and I'm like already to trash this guy's solo and I was like sex bad and I'm like, I'll rate a trash this guy's solo and I was like, sex is bad and I'm like, wow. I started hanging my band-dam as all of my belt loops. I don't know.

Did you ever hold Drip? Did he get out of the pool, like fast times Ridgemont high? Hey, Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip, You know how cool I think you are. Shut up, dude, you think? No, you don't think so, dude. Is it liquid Todd walks in the bathroom?

God, man! Hey! John Thor! I'll tell you what, Johnny Depp really does showcase, though, how much less attractive Eddie Vetter is. Yeah. It's like Garfunkel. He looks like he's over there right now.

That's so shit. You're Garfunkel. I took Johnny Depp. I wish I was Garfunkel. That's bullshit. You're Garfunkel. I took Johnny Depp. I wish I was Garfunkel. Oh man. I'm Uncle Fester. No fucking Johnny Depp. Oh my fester.

But no light shines as bright as the sun. It does have the greatest moves though. Like he was born to be a rock star. Johnny. Yeah, yeah. Like he can't get enough of himself. Feeling the guitar. He just hangs out with like

The greatest rock stars ever and James with them. Yeah, he's probably what's for ghosts? He goes hey, I could bring over a carrots and treat me if you want to get rid of that Eugene leavey hair You have a I've got a stylus that could cut your hair So you don't look like one of the late three stuages two words for you. Split ends. Yeah. Yeah. Starting to throw out a little. It's not a halo Edward. I know you do the groovy nit natural thing. You know, throw a little oil in there maybe. Put on some savage act like you can. Yeah. I got a

treatment for that. But I mean god damn Eddie veteran has not cool long hair They think wild thing. No, I am I'm playing a savage. Okay Damn I Thought you know it was 21 jump street. We criticized a lot, but I was in love with them. I love that whole Dude I wouldn't that when that show came out like no, but I was in love with him. I love that whole... I wouldn't, that, when that show came out, like... No, but I'm talking about when we did the rewatch. I know, I'm saying. I'm saying.

I fell back in love with, I fell in love with that whole... But I wonder if I made it clear even in that thing. Like when I was the age watching it live, or you know when it came out, on every week that it came on, I forget what night it was on, but when I would watch that show every week, like Johnny

Dept like as much as the girls like one of the it's like that thing that you know they say every guy wants to be you every woman wants to be with you Yeah, it's the thing like when you look at Johnny Dept You're like if like that guy will never have a problem in his life. Yeah cut ahead You know whatever 30 some years sure maybe yeah the worst problem is a smoking hot shit, shits in your bed. I mean, you know what the, you live by the gun, die by the gun. Yeah, right. That's hot guy problems. You're gonna stick around, you're gonna stick around and fuck hot ladies all your life.

You're gonna get one that goes sideways on you. That's hot guy problems. Here's like my worst problem of all time. Maybe the most beautiful man in the world took a dukey in my bed. I mean she doesn't even have to wipe. It's a perfect break every time. So yeah, I'd probably say she works at a hundred percent efficient. Yeah, it just slurps back up. Everything that doesn't come out is absorbed back into nutrients. So yeah, I'd probably say I think it doesn't come out, it's absorbed back into nutrients. So yeah, I'd probably say, my life is as bad as the guy with the burned face on the

D-Train. It's been a rough proportionately. I mean, where my life should be. Different but same. You forget what I'm saying. Oh man. Yeah, finally they cropped Johnny Depp out of their videos. Oh yeah, that's right right you do music too. It's like a it's like a online dating profile pic

We cut the hotter friend out. Oh my god. Hey, I'm Edward dude if you brought out a what's another super handsome? Fucking like rock star or not Jared let up. Yeah, proud Jared leto on the other side and play guitar and just watch any Vetter looks like carny Wilson all of Yeah, proud Jared leto on the other side and play guitar and just watch any vet it looks like carny Wilson all the sudden But you know things to change since you go you way Everyone I feel like no one respects me ever since Jared and Johnny showed up Hey, anyone else think think I'm ready for that

Carrots and treatment he's like too late dude. We're all out bro. Sorry goes Not I get it like the hair should be a little more floppy and fun. No instead of looking at all fricacy Look like I took off of motorcycle help Frick a seed look like I took off the motorcycle And have my hair not look like every time you see me I just took off a wool cap It's I heard you he's like I heard you guys calling me Gene Wilder behind Who's car fun call you? Who's got a fun girl now? Fuck that's so funny.

Damn Jacob, I'm really sorry that I ruined it Michael Jackson. I'm sorry. It's a bummer. Oh, I wanted to say such a funny thing. It's a short thing, but me and Isabella went to game three, which I was talked to you before. Yeah, watched because the nuggets are out, even though they have the reigning MVP.

That's wild. I will say Jacob, as someone doesn't watch the NBA like that, I'm telling you, it's fucking crazy. It's not crazy, but it's listen, hit, yoke, you know, yeah, I mean, one's Greek and one's Serbian. The three guys that were the finalists and beat Yokech in Yonness, it's like all three you could see winning. I, as a nuggets fan, I can see why and be should I want it.

But I'm not gonna fucking go against my thing without getting of course Yokech won good he's an amazing player I'm gonna have a funny tweet where they're like that now they got to go to Serbia and give it to him on his donkey farm here's Jacob I can explain to you as simple as this this is an anti-dan or or Yokech what is this guy got to do his there's other player on his team like the other star on his team, decided this year he didn't want to play anymore. So he just didn't play.

And when they, by the time they made a trade to get another like high level player playing next to him, like that, they were in second place with like a month and a half left of the season. It is a press of the season. That's pretty impressive. I will also say though, you'll get around. Ted Zero helped this year. But Jamal Maria, Michael Porter Jr. out.

Oh, yeah, Jamal Maria at the whole time too. Yeah, yeah, listen. You'll catch it and have anybody else season. He had bones, high, high, high, high, high. But they were floating around the middle to the bottom. Well, I'm not eight though all year. Yeah, we're like five, six seed. Yeah, the six is rough.

We're like second at one point. Yeah, whatever it is. But we talked about it. I think it fuels mb to fire. And when we talk today, I said, if I would, if I were you, I'd be happy that he's going to be fired up and be like, oh, yeah, fuck you. Don't give me that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Matt Corden, the inhouse. And he goes, he goes, he goes, lay heavy goes, bet high on mb's over tomorrow. Yeah, that's gonna be great in Miami. Yeah, they got to steal one of my M.B. Game five.

I will not be attending any more games in the series, everyone, so relax. I'm not the cooler. I'm not the cooler. It turns out. Which, by the way, I'm not going any more this time, just in case. I do. When you're friends or fans of different teams different teams you know and your teams out you want them to win and then when you're when you were like I'm a cooler and then you go and they lose I'd be like no you're not a cooler and then next game you're

like I went and they lost I'm the cooler and you're like no because you just don't want to give into it so when they want I was like all right see you're not the fucking cooler just as your friend oh yeah I like dude. I'm so happy because I was worried about that when I went to I got I was lucky enough to go to the Super Bowl to see the Niners lose to the Chiefs But I was like fuck am I the cooler and then I went to another game and I'm like you worry about that Yeah, I'm also fans are superstitious as fuck. Oh, yeah I'm not gonna watch any more games with Tom from guest digital this in this Rounded off we're oh into like two losses right now. Yeah, so like man, I'm like Dawkins wear her jersey for one game

All right, never know. He had to sit down It's gonna be fun here when the shit keeps going where he's like he had to sit cross-legged on the ground No carpet under him. I know. There's nothing to do with it But you're like if I didn't do it That's the reason why James cutting in the Eastern conference finals. Yeah, I started cutting He says when the blood goes out, but two things that happened to the game. I will say they were really funny To me I mean Isabella sharing such a moment because the guy I was on the aisle. She was first seeded and There's these two big guys and one of them ordered

Wanted dip and dots that was the thing ice cream of the future, dude I don't even know what dip and dots are necessarily another ice cream ice cream the future. They're just ice cream beads Yeah, just little balls ice cream is that what it is. It's just sucking ice cream nuts So it's I think that this guy's like dip and dots So it's out to you guys. This guy's like dipping dots. And then I go, yeah, I can send it to dip in dots because what flavors you got and then the guy squats down. I mean right next to my ear. Yeah.

I mean, it's a bell like together. Like biting lips. Like looking at each other like almost like dude, go. Because he goes, what flavor is you got? He goes, got chocolate rain base Cotton candy The heaviest action I've ever heard that ever mean it's like oh my god Then his a Bella points out To why I point out the what the right in front of us. She was like I hate this couple in front of us

And I'm like why is she cuz it's a preppy couple. Yeah, girl's very pretty the guy was but you know some preppy guy and But every time I mean every time, I mean, every time a big thing was happening in the game, he would like, she pointed out and it was exactly right, his motion. He films the game, right, turns around, films her, makes her have to go like, yeah. And then turns the camera on both and kisses her.

Oh, after everyone, I was like, All right, we're gonna do if you're doing your own kiss cam, it is North Korea law. We can cut off your hands or have you face a firing squad. So get those cameras down and get those eyes on the cold. Y'all ready for this. So I would bug the fuck out of them. Well, that was it. That was it. That was

Isabella. I mean every every thing. So then I point at Isabella because I knew I was going to be staring at this and rather than be like it's my did being a creep. I'd rather point out what I'm staring at here exactly. Yeah, you don't start jacking it over your pants in front of your daughter. It was a girl a section over Mm-hmm that we were in line to see She was wearing I think it's like a halter top of some sort, but whatever it was it had like no sides to it at all and it tied around her neck so Her fucking hoots were just bouncing around this thing

She was pretty she had like hot mom bod Best way to scribe it. Okay, like Dan just perked up. Oh, yeah, you like this girl for sure. She was uh, and she kept Like the every everything that happened in the game different than this couple Which she was staying up with her beer like point dance, and like, and like, shaker ass, and like twerk in tight jeans that was no twerking happen.

You know what I mean? She was just like shaker butt. She was obnoxious. She was like mom shaking her butt, but what was great to watch, all the different things going on. One, every young dude, young, like teens, and every old man would never has, at one point I was like,, you know like they tap her on the shoulder to get her to high five

Much of creeps and I was like later all creeps Don't touch my hand Just slap my palm and mean as well watching the story unfold Yeah, mean as well. Why did watching the story unfold. Yeah, mean as well. I want you to have can I just guess sure A somewhat older and shaped man with her That's I'm gonna get right here. So she's with it would appear because I My guess was her boy friends of heat fangs the guy next to her was wearing a heat jersey sure In the initial looking guy, I was almost like, this is why this happened.

Like there's some reason they're together and this is her thing. He deals with this with her and what it was, because what it was, that she would get up after everything good, the sixers did, I guess, because she was here to cheer, crowd cheer. She would just go along with that. She put in paying attention. Yeah, she was going along with everyone. She just stayed up and cheer.

She's just Pavlovian. And then when everybody... She's like, yes! Yes! Yes! Oh my god! And whenever everybody would sit back down, she would then be one of the people continuing the stand

and she would like, bump ass. I mean, grind ass into this in the endudes dick. I mean, bizarrely. Wait, when they were standing up? Yes, like she was like fucking with them, like saying, you know, I assume it's one of those relationships. She's from Philly and he for some reason is a heat fan and there are a couple and she's fucking with him

kind of the thing, like, you know, this is my boy, I've seen that before, a thousand times, you know what I mean? And, but then she would kind of go and like really just like grind her ass like into his dick and like, you know I touch it around his head and stuff like that. I was like lap dance-y shit for like moments at a time And you go then I realize is the game is moving forward That the guy's sitting to her left

Because of her reactions with him what she's doing with him is her boyfriend or her husband whatever that's the guy. She's with for sure he Never broke I want I'm saying through half time and everything or her husband, whatever. That's the guy she's with for sure. He never broke Island. I'm saying through half time and everything, this guy never saw him do anything other than sit with his hands down. Not angry looking, just intently watching the game. And it was just exactly.

It's like Shane's old joke about like trying to hold a cat. It doesn't wanna be held. It's like, that's what it reminds me. It's like he just has to go and goes, I bring it into the game. She hoars off and the held. It's like, that's what it reminds me. It's like, he just has to go. He goes, I bring it to the game. She hoars off and the thing. Everyone's talking, and I just get to stay focused in the game.

I'm telling you, that got to compartmentalize. I can't believe, boy canny, because this girl was, I mean, grabbing the Indian guy's ass to pull him towards her while she's like, and it wasn't her, for sure wasn't her boy for him. We watched it at the end of the game. And the's like, and it wasn't her for sure wasn't her boyfriend. Like we watched it. She's the game and the way they left it wasn't for sure it wasn't her, but guy the ride home at all. The ride home is just like her texting other guys and he's just like,

Maxi look great. There's something to the guy. You know, my story from years ago that I told on an OPE show a while back, but Craig Gas thing. Yeah. And with the... By the way, look that up on YouTube because it's great, because you hear the Craig Gas version than yours with Craig Gas on and it's very funny. Yeah, we, um, so, are you working over there?

I did that. Yeah. Did he come on the show here and explain as well? Yeah. Craig did after me. Yeah, so I saw both. Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. He told the story. Yeah, he saw the story first and then we they played his story back for me.

But then I was like, tell, I'll tell you where to stop where this goes wrong and right away. He was like, so I figured it was like me and he's just like the wrong people. And it's like me, Jay and like his sister go to a thing. I'm like, stop. Yeah, stop the tape. That's the name of the tape. Yeah, stop the tape.

But that guy, those girls did whatever. All three girls in some capacity, or at least two of them, did something with Craig in that car, they came back to do like, suck his dick or whatever the fuck you said, you fucked them, whatever. Who knows? And then the, you know, the husbands came up with them

or two of them had husbands, whatever it was. And the one goes there, it's like exactly like, they got off, they didn't have to do whatever I guess. I wish I would have took more less anger in that because I got everything back ultimately. Yeah. I mean, Craig, paid me back the money and we've covered all the stuff.

But like, I wish I would have taken more like, love in the idea that those people had to go home. You know what I mean? And just drive around and I go, you fucking fuck that guy. I was like, yeah. Like we were out front watching Lincoln Park. Okay, you fuck that guy.

How are we in 5,000? And I come back and you're fucking that guy. She goes, all right, well we got this stuff back. He's like, I know it just hurts. You know, I don't like the used. Yeah, I know what my chemical romance are these singing it Yeah, yeah, pushy. I don't get it. So I want the sucks of talk. I don't know you ever heard his shapali does a good shapali It's a perfect Lars Ulrich. Yeah, I was sucking Lars Ulrich's dick

Yeah, I didn't suck Greg gas is dick. I made him do a voice. Yeah, I fucking sucked. He's a shape-shifter. I fuck Gene Simmons Yeah, you can fucking suck a shape-shifter's dick if they're doing a different If you're sucking dick you can't see their face you'll get me if I fucking blew Craig gasp would you get me I'd if I fucking blew would you get me would you get me have a blue seam kineson? Yeah, you pissed that I blew out Puccina Arguably the greatest actor of all time. This is getting stuck. Oh.

Girls, yeah, I can only shake shift into Macho Manorani Danger Field. Yeah, he was fucking. Yeah, he was fucking Dave Lee Roll. He's a Vien Hailey. I'm trying to think about it, Greg's voices. Yeah, it does a good Dave Lee Roll. Yeah. Oh shit, it does good. David Lee. We're all

Shit so funny But yeah, that is all the awkward drive home of that like so Yeah, I always think about that when I see world star. I mean that guy But I don't know if they far the way home. I think this guy knows exactly He didn't seem faze. He was like she does this the games. Yeah, and I Intently stare forward at the game games. Yeah, and I intently stare forward at the game. I'm a, I'm a, Joe, and me. And she's like, oh, yeah, she's like, yeah, you cowboy. I'm a horsey. And he's like, I get a hot dog. This is not. She was definitely, she was moving enough on this Indian guys lap that for sure, if you put a stethoscope up to where jeans you want to heard this. Oh, it was moving. Yeah. Yeah. The initial lip open. Do you think he

was? Do you think the... Press me up, Lou. Do you think the Indian guy was sitting there like holding it together? I think I'm gonna take this girl home. That's an ASMR no one's doing. What pussy-lips open? What pussy's opening? Oh, I was there with the thing. Oh, okay now everybody, get ready to relax. This is a girl doing jumping jacks. Okay, this is a girl doing set up scratches.

Oh, I'm gonna gapen plus does this girl have? You see the button? No, I think she made a bit of a ton of her skin. You have to open up. I feel like this lady has some damage to her vaginal walls. She got around a little bit. She was a lady about to have mischievous guinea-own. This is let's say a similar. Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn.

This is me drying my vagina with a towel. The suction is incredible. The lips tend to grab together because of the wetness. I'm a very damn lady I'm a damn little slut Do be funny to find out that you have the number one ASMR sexual podcast called damn lady I go do you guys know that like Jay? He has a side lady. He's got a producer. He's got his own studio. He just goes in there and does the damn lady ASMR if anybody wants to produce

Damn lady where we watch women exercise and I make the sounds of the pussy's opening and closing I will take the time out of my week to do that. Yeah There's gotta be a guy. There's gotta be a community that's okay side kicks Yeah, it's gonna be like What's the band where they take away all the music? Oh, yeah, shreds shreds shreds, but with workout videos, but plus noises. I'll give a little quees there once I want to. I want to as a girl, I know fartinging is the thing but it really is like in a workout class

Like the idea of when you queefe with like no idea it's coming on It just happens it just goes. You're like oh great. So it's like I've it's never happened because of For a farty feel in the chamber. Yeah, but we it kind of just like all of a sudden like the sound happens And you're like oh there it says like Just slides out air just slides out your place going the like the crap shoot is going from Doggy style To the girl then laying on her back for a missionary push there. I Would have such a

When my life I've heard him go. It's a quif. It's a go. They have to tell you. It's a quif Which is a queen it's a queen goes I go. Yeah, I've heard him go. It's a queef. They have to tell you it's a queef, which is a funny. It's a queef. It's a queef. It goes, yeah, I mean, they're both kind of wacky. It's no harm no foul. But as burpy as I am, I feel like I'd be a very queefy chick. It's not, I don't think it's the same thing.

I don't care, I just feel like it would be. I feel like just a wild-er. You think it would just be fucking pussy burps. I've never had it out in the wild, queef, but it's a big fear of mine. Christine, before she qu she creeps she goes Air it comes. Yeah, it's the thing for a burp. Moom my lips are sealed till now It's because poop or pus your guess. I don't know Canquees be loud? Yeah, oh, yeah. Have you heard of a quiefe? Yes

So many queefs. I'm trying to think about I don't know. It's a quiefe queen of I'm pretty sure I have it is epic. I don't have any confirmed queefs Oh, that's busy. Oh, this is the voice of the queef. Yo, little Umi girls, queef. Non-stop, they drop. It's been a while. Since you made a girl queef?

Yeah. What a girl queef. So you make it, let me, it's gonna hurt to find out what makes a girl queef more big or little dicks, Christine, get on it and show me whatever the answer is. Get, I mean, I would assume big weaters are pushing a lot And now I'm starting to think that a little dicks is pumps air into You could do it like a you could draw it out like a graph with like the dick going in

You'll see right here it pushes They're creeping out the outside air Yes, I think it's smaller. I would think it's bigger like small weener getting jackhammered It's plugging up the hole. Thanks for the support How long you shake it this pull open just for the show? Like a hot cool hole Google it's hard science here hard I thought you wanted to collect data I don't want I'm gonna get data

You think there's a bunch of scientists right now. This isn't the Houston 500. You can line up people By asking by asking people to send in their answers. How you feeling Jacob? No one compiling data This data's probably been done already It's just science. We need to know now Yeah, I want to know a quote of a poll if you want to know people Yeah, I want to know put up a pole if you want to know what people think yeah Well actually what put up a pole if it says little dicks cause the quiffs put up a pole and give me a second chance You want a second?

I'm gonna go to another fucking fight and chance at this. I'm gonna go to another doctor. I don't believe you Yeah, you're lying shut up. Tell me I've cancer instead because it's sir you are clean When did I ever have enthusiasm for soft eggs? What were you yelling in an open hallway? Yeah, your voice Christine please stop it. We are in a public place. That's from Moon Tower. Oh, it was I want to act again What's it saying Christine What's it saying Christine?

There's I'm not seeing something firm. What causes queer sexually. Air. No, no, that's the words I'm saying to look up. It's like a new world problem. We're still we have a long car ride. We always get no fight about who's better looking things up on the internet. We have battles. Not even the you know, it's great. They're good fights because they're never heated really. No one's furious about it, but I genuinely

believe. Quees can happen during sex stretching or exercise during sex, fingers or a penis can trap air inside the vagina. This can happen during some positions more than others, so you might not notice it happening. Okay. Okay. What do quees come from? God.

Vaginal flatulence. That's a great name. Vaginal flatulence should be in the name of a band. Trapped air. You know there's a way you can control your quees. You know it was a good burn on the bus when I was in middle school. Someone called another kid a vagina blood fart. Blood fart? Yeah. Damn. I was like middle school someone called another kid of vagina blood fart Yeah, damn Yeah, we're here and it's great to like that was fucking good one dude. I think you know I'm out you know I can walk you Come fuck slut. Yeah, what do you have in him? That's layers look at the other questions people ask for what do ques come from why can I control my ques? What makes a woman cry?

dry I'm a woman cry. There's a lot of answers for that. Yeah, are there dry ques? I can get everything dry ques I bet those are loud and heard I bet those are loud Dry queives. Oh, I bet those are loud and heard. I bet those are loud. They heard Queives aren't really wet. Well, pussy's are always wet right at least the ones I see You know what this is a it's that you brought it's stupid. It's that trim beard It's stop. God do it. I came in today and it was Jay trimmed his beard. It looks good. He did it without me

We're supposed to be beard bros. We are beard bros. He didn't even text you. No It's a lot about text. I think it was gonna change the course of your day I didn't cut also and I didn't decide to do it. I Was gonna try to maybe figure out when is they but I couldn't okay? So impulse I had to go today We look very clean and I like haggard Haggerty, you're the one that you're the one that looks like a werewolf. Thanks. I'll take a break. Jacob's hurt.

Jacob's upset. What does it sound like turning into a werewolf? No. Okay. Oh, that was a... Oh! Oh! Yeah!

Yeah! Oh! Oh! No! I'm gonna rip him off! Oh! No way, say it. Just do Jacob's video, but then turn my microphone way up. Yeah! I'm gonna rip him off! Yeah! Oh!

That was Jacob's pussy opening. Jacob, I'll find a way to make it up to you. I promise. Let's take our first break. Okay. We'll come back. You want to talk about Superman's kids? I so badly want to do Superman's kids Let's talk about that all right. Let's get the venom out of you because I understand you're angry with good cause

I apologize for ruining the Michael's grabby stream got rain bae Candy chocolate You're gonna get over this indigestion and we're gonna be right as rain right as rain. It's the bonfire You're gonna get over this in digestion and we're gonna be right as rain. Right as rain. It's the bonfire. You've been listening to... SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM!

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