The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Which Crew Is The Better Hang?

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Jay and Bob argue about who's crew is more fun to hang out with. Bob shows a photo of a barbeque at Rich Vos' house and Jay has a picture of all the comics at The Fully Loaded Fest. They give number ...values to their friends to determine their coolness. Christine reminisces about how great Bonnaroo was years ago. Bobby learns to have fun at concerts because of Jay. To hear the full show and subscribe to SXM go to FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly. Never a huge Nas guy. Is that unpopular? That's very unpopular, Black Lou. Black me up. People love Nas. Love Nas. Very boring performer. I would think that.
Starting point is 00:00:17 There's something to that. So if you're not an awesome performer, it's not going to make me enjoy your songs that I wouldn't normally. Do you know know I mean yeah Truth be told I like about five Kendrick Lamar songs really, but I'll watch the guy perform every time killer Yeah, or performance a lot of raps not good performance. It's hard to perform rap It's hard to recreate this live And then what do you do? I mean Kendrick Lamar is pretty good at doing that. Bounce your head. Bring up Kendrick Lamar that live thing
Starting point is 00:00:47 I like where he's outside. Doesn't he wear all kinds of silly shit? He's wearing a flannel shirt in this and jeans and you'll see what I mean. There's something about his energy. It's really good Go bring it up on the screen. I'll show you so he's crouched down on the thumbnail. I watch it a lot Live you type in Typing TDE next to that You're going down Go down there. It is right here. Yep Just go to like when he comes out back it up to when he comes out. You'll see what I mean
Starting point is 00:01:24 Just go to like when he comes out back it up to where he comes out. You'll see what I mean Jump about 20 seconds in though. Yeah, put it on this sound Yeah, smooth dude Is this his concert? Yeah, it's outside in Los Angeles, but you'll see what I mean Turn it up little let the people feel their cars But you'll see what I mean. I mean, Bonner is amazing. Turn it up, Lou. Let the people feel in their cars. Yes. This is the way you come out. This is good for rap.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I've seen Eminem, dude. He just walks out on stage and starts rapping. It was boring as shit. Eminem's boring? As shit. Really? He has a live band, which is very big. He just seems to care. You see what I'm saying, Jacob, right? There's an energy to him. His SNL performance of I was kind of our intro to him and just really like captured us.
Starting point is 00:02:32 He's just got good energy. He's amazing. And he doesn't do any instruments or anything. He just knows how to like work the stage. He's a good performer, very good performer. He won us in Bonnaroo His Bonnaroo performers we were at was just like I didn't know any of the songs. I'm like this is great You didn't go watch Kendrick I guess no
Starting point is 00:02:57 I mean I didn't I was gonna go with you and Ari, but you had a bag of mushrooms That looked like a salad. I threw them right out. I threw them right up. I didn't. I wasn't a mushroom. You guys, you wanna go walk... you presented it the wrong way, too. You were like, you wanna go walk into 100,000 people and we're gonna do mushrooms? And I just pictured me alone. You guys fucking... Ari ran off and sat under a tree for like five hours. It's so crazy though, where we're at.
Starting point is 00:03:22 That's exactly what would've happened. I would've been alone with a bunch of people I didn't know, not knowing how to get back to the hotel. It's actually funny thinking that, where, Bonnaroo, where was your life at that time? Because I'm thinking right now. TV. Again, is it, was it? I was out there with FX. Okay, because I was going to, that makes sense. Because I was going to say that it was, I might have been 13, 14, but I was like, it's insane now, our relationship, how much we'd have been in every single, it was like nine years ago, it was every single band that we went to see, you would have come to see, you know what I mean? You already weren't there for a bunch of it. I was there, we went with FX, we premiered Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll
Starting point is 00:04:04 at Bonnaroo in the attend right and then we did The Q&A thing and it was all under that FX thing. So I was I was kind of being hustled around by them Yeah, and you guys were there for I did the comedy, but that was also a weird festival too because Like I knew you and Ari and I loved you guys, but the other soda soda and there was a Natasha wasgero. Yeah, those guys really kind of treated me like shit. Nick Thune. Nick Thune treated me like shit.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Ron Funches. Not like shit, but. I know what you're saying. Reggie Watts, like I walked up. Ron Funches was there too. I walked up, they were all outside, and I know them individually. Sure.
Starting point is 00:04:41 And I walked up, and was like, hey, what's up guys? And they looked at me like they were vampires. There were two cliques happening. You would have enjoyed our clique, because ours was Normand, Christine, Ari, Soder, Michelle Wolf. Yeah, no, it was a good time, but I was stuck between cliques. I didn't have a clique.
Starting point is 00:05:00 I was with the Leary FX clique. And that wasn't a fun watch the shows clique. No, they'd go back to the hotel and go to bed at nine. Yeah, you would have liked Kendrick Lam have a click. I was with the Leary FX click. Yeah, and that wasn't a fun watch the shows click. No, they go back to the hotel and go to bed at nine. Yeah, you would've liked Kendrick Lamar a lot. You would've loved Mumford and Sons was the one that really blew us away too. But I'm also... Mumford and Sons.
Starting point is 00:05:15 I'm scared of going into, at that time, not anymore, because I've been to so many concerts, especially with you this year. But then I was very terrified to go into a crowd of people with people who were doing drugs. I get that for sure, but I also don't like to do that either. Why Bonnaroo was different and why that situation was different was we had all access.
Starting point is 00:05:37 So we watched Alabama Shakes from above them next to the stage, like on a thing. There's literally like different paths you took with the artist badges. There was artists, there was just artists. I'm telling you, where you had, if you wanted to, five, six feet on either side of you to being right up front.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Yeah, I didn't know anything. So Ralphie May fell asleep, we knew Ralphie was not long for the world when he fell asleep in a chair in front of a wall of Marshall amps. Like while Kendrick Lamar was playing, we looked over and he was just like sleeping, and I go, he must be dead. Because this is, not only is this a great show,
Starting point is 00:06:08 it's thumping. Yeah, I was terrified of that shit for some reason. Because I didn't understand even the badges. Billy Joel killed it. Even the badges we had. I just thought that got us into our spot. Everywhere. But I hate it.
Starting point is 00:06:23 We met so many artists. I hate getting rejected. Like, I hate... You know what I mean? You had a thing with it. You just touched it. I didn't know any of that shit. You wouldn't even get rejected. I hated it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:06:34 So many times I was in and out. Bonnar was pretty fucking cool. It was one of my favorite festival experiences ever. It was pretty awesome. In fact, we got to go home to a hotel at night was the only thing I could have seen being an issue. Like the camping out aspect of it I wouldn't be into. And the comedy tent, that circus tent they had set up
Starting point is 00:06:51 was actually pretty cool. People that were in there. If I had a private bathroom and a tour bus or something I could shower in, I could live on a tour bus for the three days, for sure. But like camped out there. I think my ride was going back too. Like I had a certain ride that was waiting for me.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Now were you at a different hotel than all? You were at a different hotel? I was in the Omni. You were in a different hotel. That was what I was gonna say, because there was a transport. Our hotel was like the closest one to. Mine was in Nashville, back, I had to go back to Nashville.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Ours was 30 minutes away, yours was probably more. Mine was a little more, but it was the nice, really nice hotel. Mumford and Sons was a band, we were like, whatever, we're not going to see them. And they were like, well, there's transport going over to the stage right now. Do you guys just want to go? And we're like, sure, we'll hop on. And I mean, didn't know any of the music and by like the third song, just like jumping
Starting point is 00:07:36 and clapping and like singing the chorus chants because it was, it was, they were just so unbelievable live. I wasn't there with Christine in that regard, but I did enjoy it. I wasn't jumping and singing along with anything, but I did keep in mind, throw up my mushrooms. No, those are different days. Earth, Wind and Fire. Mushrooms was Earth, Wind and Fire and Pantrack.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Earth, Wind and Fire were awesome. Gary Clark Jr. War on Drugs, we saw it was a Slayer. Slayer, Slayer in the tent. At like one in the morning. I didn't see any of it. Slayer one in the morning at Bonnaroo was one of the most interesting things I've ever watched It was the best slayer show we've seen slayer what like 14 times least and it they always seem kind of pissed off and they Were like smiling they were into it the crowd was into it like it was such good vibes my friends though Like I'm I have two sets of friends in comedy
Starting point is 00:08:24 I have you Ari Lewis Joe,, like I have two sets of friends in comedy. I have you, Ari, Louis, Joe. But then I have Keith, Voss, Norton. Those guys are gonna kill you. They weren't even there. Yeah, but those guys like never would do, we went to Brazil. No, Bobby. But we would never do.
Starting point is 00:08:38 I'm keeping you, I'm keeping you alive in this mix of like, oh man, do this, don't fucking go learn how to golf with fucking boss and just accept old Manship all my friends old and bad picture at bosses barbecue really like like a club where you guys get together And you have those talk about old football days or something everyone looks broken and hurt it was but if you take a picture like we did when we're at a Metallica or what do we just see? The Rolling Stones.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Like, you look, you're in the mix. You have a family, you have a young family, the child's young, everything looks like it all makes sense. Yeah, I need to dump these old fucks. You gotta stop wasting time. I really do. No chance. By the way, you tailgate with Keith Robinson, you still have to go headed to the fucking
Starting point is 00:09:21 venue three hours before the band goes on. And we have to leave early. You ain't getting there fast. No. We do get better parking. You do get better parking. Oh yeah, maybe they go wheel Keith around. You know what? Keep Keith in the mix.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Keep Keith. You know what? Voss has a Victorian parlor. Damn. What? Voss has a Victorian parlor in his home. Yeah, what are you going to do? You're going to go talk to him in his parlor
Starting point is 00:09:43 and have tea time? One good thing, my dog ran in his house and pissed on his rug. Really? Yeah, you so much. I do like that. What you gonna call it? Voss, because you should have a little copper thing
Starting point is 00:09:53 of sugar cubes that he keeps around. Sugar cube? Sugar cube for your coffee? But I remember Ari, we did a festival up in Canada, and we were doing the shows, and there's a big rock festival outside, and he's like, we did a festival up in Canada, and we were doing the shows, and there's a big rock festival outside. And he's like, we should go, Chris Cornell's playing. And I was like, no, I'm gonna go back to,
Starting point is 00:10:12 he's like, no, we're going to fucking see Chris Cornell. Ari. Ari. Yeah. And he kind of forced me, and I went out, and we were like, right to the right of the stage, and Chris Cornell was fucking ridiculous. Oh my God, it was amazing. Ari, one time we were doing the Ottawa Blues Fest.
Starting point is 00:10:30 That's what I did with him. Yeah, yeah. That's when me and him actually became friends. And the one night it was gonna be Black Keys, clothes I'd never seen live, and I'm not a huge fan of either, but I was seeing them, they're very popular, and a wind and rainstorm came, I mean, it blew the buckles off the stage, it was seeing them, they're very popular. And a wind and rainstorm came.
Starting point is 00:10:45 I mean, it blew the buckles off the stage. It was very dangerous. There was metal things swinging around. And Ari just kept going, well, we can go inside, so let's wait it out. They might bring it back. And I'm like, buddy, they're not going to bring it back. They said at one point, they go, let's see if this storm passes
Starting point is 00:10:58 and we'll come back. But it got so bad that I was like, there's no way. Let's just wait around a little bit. An hour and 20 minutes later, they go, they're gonna let them break curfew and Black Keys are gonna go on and still play their hour in like 15 minute show or something. We stayed and we got to watch them.
Starting point is 00:11:13 And it's, oh, dude, I already brought me to a blind place. Now here's the thing. A what? A blind restaurant where you can't see anything. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird. But no, I already get you out and doing things. I'm not even great at that,
Starting point is 00:11:24 but I do like doing the big things. I'm bad in the short term. Do you know what I mean? Like, hey, on your one night off this week, we should all go do this fun escape room thing. I'm like, eh. I don't really want to do that. On a Burt Taurus situation, I would do that kind of thing. You have to. You have to. And they're fun. It would be fun if I went that night.
Starting point is 00:11:41 But I mean, if it's that, we're all gonna go see blah, blah, blah on concert. I'm so, like there's nothing negative in my mind about going to that, the concert, the Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit concert with Corey Feldman. That day to me just sounds like, whatever, we'll figure out the parking, I'll get us good parking. You know what I mean, like when we went to the Stone, same thing, we figured out parking while I was there.
Starting point is 00:12:05 The lady was like, you can't just buy a parking pass. I'm like, I bet I can. And she goes, well, you gotta get out of this line. So I pulled over into one of the parking lots, and I just bought two parking passes, and then came back around her, she goes, sir, you need a parking pass. I go, yeah, I just got one.
Starting point is 00:12:19 I did the impossible. And then she had to give a reluctant, go ahead. You're very good at that. And I think if I smoked weed, I would be, cause I get so fucking whipped up with, we have to get the ticket, how are we gonna get there? When are we gonna get there? No, I do burden myself with that.
Starting point is 00:12:35 I get crazy with that shit. No, I get weird. You've gotten better at like, not being a total mother hen. And maybe it was Rob Zombie, maybe it was before that. But, you know, sometimes you're just Zombie, maybe it was before that, but you know, sometimes you just like, you can't like worry, if you're in a big group, if you're in a group
Starting point is 00:12:50 of like 10 people, it's like you can't worry about what everybody's doing. It's like everybody has their tickets, no, he hasn't always been though. Well with me, I mean, you call me, I wanna go to more shit, like that Stones thing, you're like, dude, don't worry about it, we're gonna probably, I go, where are we gonna meet?
Starting point is 00:13:03 And you're like, we'll meet. And I'm like, all right, fuck it, we're're gonna park a where we're gonna meet and you like we'll meet and I'm like I fuck it. We're just gonna meet and we we met had a blast Yeah, we left at the right time right next to us parked right there It's like you've loosened me up with going to do shit because I'm if I'm gonna go do something I'm always like we have to have the things and everything's gonna be right and I don't want to get fucking I worry about the tickets themselves Always because I do care about that Residual just did you put in for these tickets yet? No, I need so much tonight
Starting point is 00:13:31 Maybe some of that's residual of just kind of like being an adult in like the 90s where you if you didn't have a plan like You had to have a plan. Yeah, you know where it's like now It's like everybody has cell phones you can kind of figure it out in the moment But we lived like a lot of our lives where it was like you had to like meet up at Yeah. You know, where it's like now, it's like everybody has cell phones, you can kind of figure it out in the moment, but we lived like a lot of our lives where it was like you had to like meet up at a certain place at a certain time. You had to have written directions.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Yeah. By the way, what's so funny, I'm so bad at the technology of that. It's so easy in a place, because if somebody was like, no, but you're going into a field, like how am I gonna find you? And someone's like, drop a pin.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Drop a pin, yeah. What the fuck are you talking? Like I don't understand what that means obviously, but my god what yeah so I can just drop a thing and so you push a button and then in like a Blue line shows you exactly how to walk to the person like that's nuts now the problem with some things like Probably at a probably at festivals particularly anaroo, even at like concerts sometimes, your phone's wacky. Well, I remember the Woodstock, how crazy that got with the mud and the people and the shit and the-
Starting point is 00:14:35 What, the two different ones, I think, right? That scared the, that scares me about going to a big event like that. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of some shit when it goes wrong. No, but that's why, again, those things, I would never, dare I say, and I've said it, sometimes when you touch the other side, you can't go back. I would never ever dream of doing a Bonnaroo where I didn't have artist access.
Starting point is 00:15:00 No, there's no fucking way. We did go, we went gen pop, that was the whole thing of going out for Earth, Wind, and Fire and all that. No, no, no, no. And the night you're talking about, we went gen pop, that was the whole thing of going out for Earth, Wind and Fire and all that. No, no, no. We're like, we're gonna do mushrooms that can go out with everybody. I'm happy to go walk around and look at the little shops at the fest.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I'm fine with all that. But at some point, when I'm watching, we have to be able to go and just have, like, great places to sit and watch and not be surrounded by, because I will get weird with that. But getting high and using drugs... helps. What a grandpa.
Starting point is 00:15:29 No, I'm saying, like, I envy that, that I would love to go to a concert and just... You have a cigar. What? You have a cigar. No, you can't smoke a cigar. Me and Jay were secret smoking cigarettes at Bonnaroo, so, like, literally every hour on the hour,
Starting point is 00:15:42 we were like, we have to go call Isabella together behind the tent. People were like, at some point they go, Jay, we know that you love your daughter, but no one would call their child this much. But you know what I mean? I got that, someone's like, oh man, you wanna go side stage and watch so and so? I go, yeah, I just gotta call Isabella first real quick.
Starting point is 00:15:58 But you know what I'm saying though, the drugs do help chill you the fuck out. Like when you get to smoke a joint and get a little buzz going, it does relieve. It also makes me panicky depending on like. Relieves some of that stress where it's like you're kinda high and you're going with the flow. I'm always me.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I'm never not in my head. Who was she? Was she like Shannix or Valium or something? I gotta be, I gotta be, I gotta be in the situation and I have to know the thing. I would be, it wouldn't be, someone goes, why you drive when you live in New York City to go to a MetLife Stadium for anything? Why you wouldn't just jump on that train that drops you off in the parking lot? I go, if I knew that well, I'd probably be the person going like, no, it's better because
Starting point is 00:16:44 you could have some drinks, you can get fucked up, and then take the thing right back home. But if it's going to be four hours in the car, I'd rather just go, yeah, but I know the way in the car. I am stuck on that kind of thing. I know my way, and I don't like... Yeah, if I go to the subway down to the cellar, it takes five minutes.
Starting point is 00:17:00 You don't even think about it. In my mind, I'm like, you know, I'm walking up 18 flights of steps and sitting with a bunch of gross people. I'm gonna go get my car real quick. But it's like, exactly, if it was just a thing, you're like, who thinks about this? I just do it.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Yeah. You know what I mean? But it was a... Yeah, like when I took Donnie Dust on the subway down to the cellar, he was out of his element. Oh, for sure. Like he was bumping into people and walking around, like who he's gonna kill, he's gonna kill. Why don't you make a campfire out of these bums with one with his dick out and the other one was snot coming down his chin and chest. He was on the train like I could
Starting point is 00:17:32 see him just you know terminating everybody. Sorry Bobby I gotta start taking out the garbage. Yeah. Oh this is funny. Pulling up these pictures. Here's the picture of my, Oh my Christ. Oh my God, my crew. Make it big. Oh God, my criss stinks. Make it really big. Yeah, Max is making Bret Michaels look with the cat dragged in face.
Starting point is 00:17:57 He's doing his, he's doing his, he's doing his mewing. Yeah, he looks like, He's doing his Bobby. He looks like, he's doing his look with the cat dragged in. If you bring up Bret Michaels in that album cover be great And this is your crew. Oh, this was the argument whose crew do you rather hang? We never had this talk Oh, yeah. Oh, this is great. You're on the okay. So we do whose do you want to go through first mine? No, let's bring them both up and let's see who we pick to make the perfect crew
Starting point is 00:18:20 Okay, see if we we take some of mine and eliminate some of yours wait hang on first mine is all sick Oh, god damn it my crew is fucking on the verge of death. You don't have to panic It's fine. Okay, a lot of your crew is leaning on stuff Yeah leaning go look Brett Michaels right there on the top left corner. Look what the cat dragged in album cover That's what Max is doing He's giving Brett Michaels lips. Mmm He's sexing it up Well, let's talk about right out of the gates. This is a real sausage party
Starting point is 00:18:54 Where was this this hang? This was that rich Voss's house. He threw a barbecue. He's got a brand beautiful house, right? Beautiful house in almost farmland though Right beautiful house in almost farmland though It's like we're pretty rural. It's it's rural. Is that lake behind him? No, that's a just a house He's got a built-in pool. He's got a nice pool. He's got a big house. Yeah Nice little street. It's but it's it's way the fuck out there. Is it really? Yeah, it's an hour It's a good hour. Okay, it's an hour and It's an hour and 40 for me now. Here's the hang Oh boy We'll go in order. Let's just say to if we're going cool not cool
Starting point is 00:19:32 Let's go to a just complete net zero right here as you got Danny breath sit with Jim Florentine Jim Florentine hangs out with Iron Maiden and Ozzy Osbourne and Danny Braff gets berated by you Joe Russell So you got Danny Brad? But Danny Brad was invited kind of I was on the phone with Voss the night before And they held Danny to come Danny Danny said can I come and he's like now? And then he felt bad. Of course if you want to come you can come he? And he's like, no. And then he felt bad. He's like, if you want to come, you can come. He asked if he could come? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:08 He did. That's weird. Well, Danny's weird. Yeah, he's a fucking autistic magician. Let's talk Jim Florentine over here. The guy hangs with rock stars. He's wearing a Ramstein shirt. Doesn't look silly for his age.
Starting point is 00:20:22 His beard looks fantastic. And the guy still crushes young ass. He does, but he is leaning over. He knows how to take a photo because if he was standing straight up his little. He was special Ed on Crank Anchors. He's just, this is plus points for you I'd say. Metal show.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Danny Braff though. Yep, he ruins it. But you gotta kind of listen, with Danny. I love Danny Braff. I love Danny Braff though. Yep, he ruins it. But you gotta kind of listen, with Danny... I love Danny Braff. I love Danny Braff too, but he was... I'd probably have a better conversation bullshitting with Danny than I will with Jim personally. No.
Starting point is 00:20:54 No, that's not true. I don't even know why. As I was saying it, I go, I'm lying to everybody. Most ridiculous thing ever. No, me and Jim would talk about all kinds of fucking cool shit. Yeah, Romstein kind.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Oh, nice Romstein show. You ever see, I've seen him like five times, like, oh, dude, they blew the blew the fire, yeah you're right. You've also known Jim for 20 years. Yeah, will you go talk to Danny about fucking sleight of hand? Danny Braff said in front of children at Lewis's thing, he's like, I almost, I had my dick played with by that redheaded girl and then she wouldn't come back
Starting point is 00:21:19 to have sex. What an asshole. And there was children in the room. I'm gonna give Danny Braff this though. On the road, magically, I don't know how he does it. Gets pussy. Not just puss. Mm-hmm. He's gotten really good chicks on the road. He opens for you. He's not that funny.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Well, I mean girls like the guys on stage. Girls don't like guys on stage that look like that. Well, then he's drugging them. Are you trying to get us to look into something, Bobby? What's the thing he's doing? Is he hurting them? I'm saying that he still might have magic. It's possible. He may have actual magic. He hypnotizes them.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Let me tell you something. He got a girl in Miami at the improv. I know you're like upset. I was violently angry. Now? Because she was there with her mom and she chose to go with Danny after the show. They met, and then she blew him on a lifeguard chair at the beach.
Starting point is 00:22:11 So sexy. Oh. Yes, exactly. Which is mind-numbing to me. But yes, I guess Danny Braff. So is that a cancel out? Did Bonnie take the picture? Probably.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Bonnie wants nothing to do with any of us. All right, let's say Bonnie's there Bonnie Oh, wait, so we're right. Is that do we agree? That's a net zero or do we get plus points each other is or is Danny Braff is not cool at your barbecue inviting himself as Jim Florentine is cool. I would say I Would say you'd have to take aine dated Robin Quivers for a while. It was regular and stern. I mean, the guy's cool.
Starting point is 00:22:48 He did? Yeah, he dated Robin. You didn't know that? No. That played out on the show, yeah. Oh, they were. I just heard they just did a replay on that when I was listening to Howard Stern history last week.
Starting point is 00:22:57 And they always laugh because one thing she said, like, tell us something that would surprise us about Jim. And she called him a deep thinker. And they just laughed about that for 20 years. I mean, because he came in and he was like, I did an upper decker on this thing the other day, and he's like, deep thinker. Robin said you were a deep thinker.
Starting point is 00:23:14 No, he, yeah, they were actually serious, though. For a couple months, I think. They were actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Girlfriend, for a couple months, yeah. She went within the gigs, I believe. And I've talked to him about it too, and I'm like, was that just a thing? He goes, no, I liked her, she was good.
Starting point is 00:23:29 We had a good thing going, she's really sweet and nice. Hey, what's up? I'm BK Burglar, Bob Kelly, AKA The Rooster. I'm Big Jay Okerson. I only have one aka I'm a cowboy. Look if you love the bonfire, which you know you do you this is just half of the show That's right. There's the podcast version everybody So if you want to hear the whole thing go to serious XM comm slash bonfire to get the whole thing Yeah, you get tons of other entertainment, too
Starting point is 00:24:02 It's not just us you got other shows that you can go to after you listen to Our show you go to all kinds of other shows and you know what tell a friend But most importantly this show yeah this show just go to the show do something resembling anything Now we're gonna move over so we're net zero yeah, okay all right if you're gonna add you're gonna add Danny because I am friends With them I don't want to throw him under the bus But I he wasn't supposed to be there yes it was a buddy was Yeah, okay. All right, you're gonna add Danny, because I am friends with him, I don't wanna throw him under the bus. But he wasn't supposed to be there. He asked to be invited.
Starting point is 00:24:28 But he was. Okay, Jacob, yes. When you put it like that, he was there. He shouldn't have been in the photo. Let's put it that way. He should have took the photo. Bonnie should have been in his spot. Danny Bref?
Starting point is 00:24:41 He should have took the photo. But Danny looks like he did, he interjected. Danny Bref isn't in this picture, and you got Bonnie next to Florentine one. I say Cowboy rules. That's what should happen after Voss dies Bring the kids together and shit, but Bonnie next to Florentine. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that's a pretty cool grouping Yeah, Bonnie's cool. So she should be where Danny is. But, unfortunately, Danny should be standing next to her. Danny invited himself and then wouldn't take the picture. And then smiled in the picture like he belongs in the picture. He looks very comfortable
Starting point is 00:25:15 there. Super comfortable. Way too comfortable. I'll tell you what he looks like. He goes, hey, Donnie, where's your daughter? He looks like a neighbor that popped over Are you guys barbecuing? Now next to that you got Jim Norton who's dressed he's holding On for dear life to what I can only assume is a light spring jacket Yeah, and he had he had a hole he had a hole in his t-shirt under his armpit a massive hole Why and then the bottom of his shoes when he was sitting at the fire pit were all worn out. He lives in a penthouse.
Starting point is 00:25:49 He is a millionaire. Hey, listen to me, a millionaire. Well, I only know that because of his wife's music. Yeah, of course. I married to a millionaire. Millionaire, living penthouse life. You're so jealous of my mussy Now Jim Jim's got I mean a world of cool under his belt I mean yes, but also under his belt
Starting point is 00:26:16 He's getting fucked in the butt by a woman So, I don't know is Jim Norton himself a net zero for cool I think is Jim Norton the hybrid of a Danny breath and Jim Florentine I think though that nowadays getting having married to a transgender woman is a Notch in your belt. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty cool at this party This guy's this guy's rolling in millionaire married to a beautiful trans woman from a different time Yeah, I'm seeing it wrong. Yeah, correct. You have to see it now. He is a he's above okay above it What is he a plus five with him plus five points? I would say plus five Okay, okay, five points of cool. Would you know it now? Oh, just some guy. No, he's a comedian who I
Starting point is 00:27:04 Would have to call boss All right, call boss. He's a comedian. Who? I would have to call Voss. All right, call Voss. He's a comedian. Who? He's a comedian. What's his name? I forget. Why don't you ask your glasses who he is. Hey, Meta, who the fuck am I looking at? Look at me with your glasses. Hey, who are these people? Hey, Meta, who's that middle-aged guy I'm looking at? He goes going this is the cast of wild hogs a film of older gentlemen who decide to still ride motorcycles text boss who's the guy Who is this guy who's the guy in the national shirt next to you? He's a comedian What's his name though his name is? Doug he's been doing it for a really long time long time look at his hair
Starting point is 00:27:44 I don't think he does it that much anymore. No, but he stayed friends with... He made the barbecue cut off list. Well, Voss's barbecue spans centuries. This guy at least got invited. Danny Braff just asked if he could come. What else? Psycho. Can I come? That's crazy. Listen. Can I come? You understand. Voss is crazy. Voss is 67. Uh-huh. So the span of... How many summers does he have left? He has two. The span of comedians that he knows goes, you know, generations.
Starting point is 00:28:16 I mean, you know, he could have a lot of people in there that you probably wouldn't know now. That could be him. Oh, is this guy from back in his crack and improv days? Yeah, he could be from back in those days you want to do crack a dough improv Jews and blacks I mean Don Rickles could be at this party yeah you know it's true but it has to be said nobody knows who that is so that's a negative we do know who he is Jeff Cesario no we know we know I know him Bruce Balm You know we all
Starting point is 00:28:48 Wayne Cotter he said hi to me Wayne Federman. He was like, hey Bobby. How you doing? Good to see you I was like good to see you too. We know Wayne Federman. Shecky Beagleman. It's a negative. You don't even remember his name Jeff Dunham within the context of what we're trying to say. What's the better group? It could be Jeff Stilson. It could be. Jeff Stilson? No. Okay. It might be a Jeff. I might do that.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Who is he? Oh, Al Lu Bell. No, I know Al Lu Bell, not him. All right, it's not Al Lu Bell. I'll keep going here. He was a comic, he was in, he was one of the people who did comedy. Eric McMahon?
Starting point is 00:29:23 No. Okay. Closer. You McMahon? No. Okay. Closer. You're getting closer. That was an actual guess. But it might have been Eric McMahon. It might be. I don't know people.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I'm not good with names. I don't think it's Eric McMahon. I'm not good with names. Which I'm running out of names of old comics I remember. Is it Geechie Guy? No, not Geechie Guy. Geechie Guy. Chips Cooney?
Starting point is 00:29:44 High group Texan with red chips. Chips Cooney? No, not Geechie Guy. Geechie Guy. Chips Cooney? High group taxi with Red Shirt. Chips Cooney? No, let me call this asshole. I'll keep going. I know, he's on the radio. There's so many more I remember from the day and I can't think of names right now. Wally Collins?
Starting point is 00:29:55 This is his nap time though, so. Rob McNally? He might not, not Rob McNally. Rob McNally had one of my favorite tests. I'm sleeping in my brass room. Hello, Voss. Yeah? You're on the radio. You're on the bonfire We're going all right, it's hot out. I know what I don't know what the fuck that would an old you
Starting point is 00:30:21 It's not Tampa hot damn man Slow down. It's not Tampa hot damn, man Palestinian propaganda video we're going over the photo from your barbecue Yeah, the guy between Norton and you with the gray hair. Who is that? He's a comedian Eric was Eric, okay, Eric, man. Okay. Thank you Eric, that's all that's all we needed you for It was Eric McMahon Eric McMahon was actually it's Vinny Brands best friend I don't know if that's still the case
Starting point is 00:30:55 But it was his best friend and was there present for the time when me and Vinny got no weird thing. Yes That's yes, Eric. Yeah, they would do That what they were the ones, him and Vinny, we would come up for open mic. Really? Remember I told you that story, I'd go for it. And if there was an audience, him and his friend Eric McMahon would do
Starting point is 00:31:11 an hour long, hour and a half long show and then be like, if you wanna stay for open mic, and we're like, we're driving up to do this open mic. Unbelievable. But yeah, Eric McMahon, okay, so that's. Say it. This is a zero for cool? All right, so that's... Say it. This is a zero for cool? All right, so zero.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Zero points for Eric. We had plus five. Plus five's good. What's Norton? Wait, plus five Norton? No, plus five was, oh yeah, plus five was Norton. Plus five was Norton. And Jim got canceled out because of fucking Danny?
Starting point is 00:31:41 Yes. Danny wasn't supposed to be there, or in the photo. Right, you're understanding yeah Danny Danny asking himself asking if he can come to a bar can I come to a barbecue it forget all the just maybe it's not that cool Danny to begin with but I don't like Danny to my barbecue I would do you have to he looks like he interjected into every conversation yeah what are you guys talking about family stuff?
Starting point is 00:32:05 He just wandered over and arms behind his back made himself part of the conversation Hey, how's the is it mayonnaise or vinegary coleslaw? Well, it's funny because Voss only got like six hamburgers for some reason Jesus fucking Christ And what Danny took one and I was annoyed. Oh, you should have been Because he's dumb boss he got 19 impossible burgers, you know, cuz they're He's known for shit barbecues. You're supposed to have the opposite numbers of those things. I get mostly Burgers and six impossible burgers. Yes. Remember my he's come to my barbecue. I had food for days He did it right.
Starting point is 00:32:45 I did it right. And everything, first of all, everything was homemade. You know how to treat people. The macaroni salad, done made. Granted, she forgot to put it out for two years in a row, and we had 17 pounds of macaroni salad in the house. Well, you gotta remember, Bonnie's out there earning a living, take care of her man,
Starting point is 00:32:59 so she can't be out there cooking and everything. And you don't want Voss potato salad, I promise you. I don't like when I go to a house and they have... It's got old-timey ingredients in it and everything. And you don't want Voss potato salad, I promise you. I don't like when I go to a house and they have. It's got old timey ingredients in it and shit. When they have buckets of potato salad from the store. I don't care if it's good. I genuinely don't care if it's good.
Starting point is 00:33:13 That means you threw this shit together that day. I'm trash, I'm telling you. Used to do Costco salads to put out for barbecues. Never complain. I would go to Costco ahead of time and then go store stuff at the walk in at the creek in the cave and then go pick it up I'm not that into the part of it. Don makes everything from scratch and the cake She's home makes it from scratch. Nobody else is home
Starting point is 00:33:39 Mm-hmm. I like Scratch I like scratch. I allow Christina to have a career, therefore she will get yelled at on the high holidays. Wait, did anyone swim? Well, me and Max were the first ones in the pool, and then everybody jumped in. Everybody. I'll tell you this.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Norton swam? I'll tell you this. You want to go back to Norton. OK, Norton, I love Norton. I love him. He's a plus five. By the way, he's the only one carrying points so far for yourself. This might take away his five points.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Norton came in, ate, I think two of the hamburgers of the six, ate, I think three hot dogs. He ate, he's so small. But if you had to do what he does sexually, you'd wanna fill up too. He ate all his food, then went into the living room by himself right and went to sleep. Okay Bobby you're doing went to sleep? Points away from your only point getter. I go where's Norton? He goes he's sleeping
Starting point is 00:34:37 in the living room. With a hole in his armpit, busted up shoes. And he just crushed two of the burgers. This is bad bad. That's zero. I'm gonna bring him to one because he's married to a trans. It still makes you cool in the world to some extent. He's down to one point though. Yeah, he was not part, he ate in the little screened in porch in the corner.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Then he went in and slept on the couch sitting up in the living room. Then at this photo, just before he was leaving, he came out and we all sat around and smoked cigars and hung out over in this little pit. When he was leaving, he came out and we all sat around and smoked cigars and hung out over in this little pit. When Keith showed up, he came out and we kind of hung out. But Keith showed up, there was no hamburgers left. Like he-
Starting point is 00:35:13 That's fine, he probably shouldn't eat red meat. But Voss goes- Talk about a guy who needs an Impossible Burger. Voss came out and he goes, I got you steaks. Cause when he told me, I go, dude, get steaks, get hamburgers. He came out with steaks, but he brought the little thin ones He brought the little tea. Thanks the little tea They know the little thin like Waffle House breakfast place. Yeah, they know those look he had three of those like smashed burgers
Starting point is 00:35:35 Basically, they're little tiny thin. Yeah T-bone steaks sounds awful. It was terrible. Also Keith can't cut food. No he had to eat it with his fingers Sounds awful. It was terrible. Also, Keith can't cut food. No, he had to eat it with his fingers. God damn it. I'm gonna give Eric McMahon, so Jim's down to a one. I'm gonna give, in fairness, Eric McMahon a point,
Starting point is 00:35:51 because I will say this. While unknown doesn't bring any fanfare to the table, Eric's a funny guy to talk to. Yeah. He's a funny dude. He was a great guy, he's a good guy. He's the first person to, I heard the term, calling a girl Pennsylvania seven, really made me laugh.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Then you got Voss. I heard the term pencil calling a girl Pennsylvania seven really made me laugh Then you got Voss Voss The guy just makes himself not cool. Yeah, he does this. Yeah, he does it to himself. But what are you give Voss? I'm gonna give Voss Two points for having the joint. Okay. Well, here's the thing. He's slinging dick enough to be with a lady He has a brand new house brand new pool. Mm new pool, and the pool was littered with leaves. Fuck. So I went in the pool, and he's like, I cleaned the pool. You didn't.
Starting point is 00:36:33 If I had a pool party, when I had a pool, I had an Intex pool. It was a little, remember my pool? Little pool I had. I cleaned that thing, it was sparkling. Like there wasn't a leaf in it, there wasn't anything. Before anybody showed up to my pool. It was your dream, like the guy from Justified.
Starting point is 00:36:50 His dream was to have an above ground pool. I cleaned that little fucker, it was crystal clean. I put the solar, I got a, for this $350 pool, I spent probably 800 bucks on accoutrement to make it great. I bought a ladder that didn't go in it so when you went into the pool, it was actually, you could get in and out
Starting point is 00:37:10 without fucking killing yourself. I bought a different filter for this pool and I went on the internet and figured out how to hook up a bigger, better filter to this little shit pool. I got a solar tarp for the tarp, so when you got in the pool, it was a nice 70 to 80 degrees in my little pool.
Starting point is 00:37:26 His pool leaves everywhere. It's upsetting. Your pool is still trashier, though. And he had a jacuzzi. Yeah, attached to it. Two of them. Oh, really? Attached to it.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Two jacuzzis. One you kind of just swam into from the pool. And I was like, dude, turn the jacuzzis on he's like I don't know how to do that Bonnie knows how to do that And I was like dude flip the jacuzzis on man. He goes Bonnie does it and then he goes Bonnie put the jacuzzis on She's like why listen I would rather what I would rather have Christine Build us a fucking new room an addition on the apartment by herself then have her figure out the technology in the house It's an on button a man has to figure out the technology. I'll be honest
Starting point is 00:38:10 It's not always as easy as an on button the place we were at out in LA that was pretty complex and complicated It would I don't know if you've seen Bonnie lately. She does dress like Magnum PI Okay, so boss gets Bobby I'm gonna tell you what's been fun about this bit so far and I put bit in quotes because this is two three weeks Two weeks ago now. Yeah We both had these pictures in our lives Me it's on states where they're gonna have an on stage from fully loaded and it was and your thing was like You're hanging out with those jag offs. He goes, um, this is a more fun hang
Starting point is 00:38:44 We should break down You're hanging out with those Jagoffs. He goes, this is a more fun hang. We should break down. We're gonna break down the hang. When we finally did hang around the fire pit, it was fucking brutal. And as soon as Keith showed up, Keith has been the instigator of all brutal mean shit from the start of everything.
Starting point is 00:39:02 And people give Colin the credit for the table. Keith is the, he would always be the one whispering in people's ears about shit. Oh, get you in a fight with someone, yeah. You know that. Sure. You know Keith is just a mean, a genuinely mean old black man.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Yeah. He should be on a porch, in a rocking chair yelling at children. I mean, that's why, look at him in this picture. Yeah, he'll be happy, he's happy to scare kids and shit, for sure. Now, Keith did show up. I can't, because, all right, so go to the,
Starting point is 00:39:29 so Voss is in there. No, no, no, we're still in there. You have to get your common score here. Okay. I mean, Jay, you're a big skimmer. That's gotta really bring it down. Oh, do it. I'm a big time skimmer.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Jay loves to skim. You would've, it would've been an hour and a half skimming this pool. Lewis, we had three leaves in his pool that were definitely there that day. I got those out. Dude, you would have fucking lost your mind. Now I'm starting to think the water might be discolored. Are they treating the water right?
Starting point is 00:39:52 No, the water was fine, but it was just there was a lot of stuff on the bottom. I don't like that. I don't like that one goddamn bit. You know the little vacuum robot that goes around? No, I don't know. They don't have a vacuum robot. It's like you got people coming over.
Starting point is 00:40:03 The pool should be crystal. I feel like they bought a house, like people do that where they buy just like the model house, and they're just like, this is fine. Like, whatever it is. And it's like, how does it work? I don't know. The pool, I think we have to get a pool guy at some point. Voss, I'll tell you this, first time in the pool, that day.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Yeah, he said he only gets in the hot tub. He got in the- But doesn't know how to work it. Doesn't know how to work it. He got in the pool for the first time since he owned the house. Now, if I had a built-in pool in my backyard, I'd be in it every single day. Every day that it's open, that I'm in that house,
Starting point is 00:40:33 I'm stepping foot into it. In the pool, swimming, frolicking, thinking. Hot tub at least. Well, now that you're okay with the naked thing, you'd definitely go in the pool every day. Oh, you're right. If I was able to get naked in my own pool, you're right, because I would just get out towel off and put on my bed clothes.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Oh, yeah. Why didn't you even think about that? Now, every time I look at a house, it'll be like, well, people can't see me swimming naked because that's gonna happen, so. I prefer they're not around. So the pool was a little dirty, and Voss, he only bought six, I mean, he's okay by where we're almost through here so far you have
Starting point is 00:41:09 two points Boss is gonna be no points. You talked him right out of points. He he threw a barbecue I just want to say I want to be honest. I'm not I'm not here to play games and cheat I want to be honest. Okay. Now we get to Aaron Berg Aaron's cool points good conversation funny smoke cigars very funny smoke cigars Good hang good hang five full points nice Robert Kelly fucking radio star star of television
Starting point is 00:41:40 Fantastic actor world-class broadcaster. Father. Killer father. Is he letting his son make faces like Brad Michaels and look what the Cat Dragon album cover? Sure. That's Bobby's face. He's doing Bobby's face. He's doing me. Stop teaching your son how to be a boy toy. I mean, look at Bobby.
Starting point is 00:41:57 When Bobby calls you, his lips are like, mm. You'd go, Maximus. What's the thing from American Dad? Maximus, this is why you keep getting molested he was making it I know I got it so Bobby your five full points so we got five people if how big max is look he's almost my son 12 max for a cool boys max part of you or is he get his own five rating or at a five rating I say my max Do we leave the kids out? No, I would say no action. I mean we're leaving him. I gave a reason for the reason
Starting point is 00:42:40 I'm gonna say a two two points because Danny's there too. Yeah Two points for Mac. here's the thing, when there's a kid around, it does take down, like you're not gonna say certain things, and you're not gonna. With Max though, he was in it. I know, but still you'll see, they'll pull back, Pits will pull back a little bit,
Starting point is 00:42:57 because the kid's there. And can I just say this about Max? I remember Danny and Joe Russell were at a gig one night, and Voss was coming down to hang out, and Max said to me, Dad, can you do me a favor? I go, what's that? He goes, if you're gonna have one of these guys watch me tonight, can you please have Voss do it?
Starting point is 00:43:15 I was like, why? He goes, because I don't want those two beta males watching me. And I was like, yeah, I'll have Voss watch you, if you think Voss is coming from. That's cut steep. Yeah, he didn't want to be supervised by Danny Braff. And I was like, yeah, I'll have boss watch you if you think it's coming from Steve Yeah, he didn't want he didn't want he didn't want to be supervised by Danny Braff He didn't want to dominant. He didn't want to dominate his own babysitter
Starting point is 00:43:31 Yeah, so you got to give him a little more credit for that. Listen, I'm giving him two points I'm just saying the nature of having a kid there. Yeah, cuz look I'm gonna go now I'm gonna swing right over and I'm gonna have Aaron Berg's daughter I'm giving zero points to Because now this is a little Beautiful little girl beautiful and who is and the sweetest now you can't say a lot of things around her Well around Aaron Berg's kid you can't it's still you know what I mean Yeah, it just it brings like when kids that age just going like I gotta watch a little bit. You know can't say this
Starting point is 00:44:02 Like kids that age are just going like, ah, I gotta watch a little bit, you know? Can't say this. And then you have Aaron's wife, Christine's sweet? Christine's very sweet. She's gonna hug you. Christine's great. Christine's a point. Whenever I see Christine, I'm like excited.
Starting point is 00:44:14 I'm like, oh, I have somebody to talk to. Christine's two points then, for Christine alone. Christine Meehan's getting, Christine Berg is getting two points. You gotta give Dawn two points because she was was like I shouldn't be in this picture Is there water anywhere? Dawn's is there dawn's there but was like I'm not getting there who Nikki Norton. No Nikki did not come She came that night
Starting point is 00:44:42 Bonnie doesn't want to be in the picture. Bonnie took the picture. Rainer wants nothing to do with anybody Voss knows. Like we went up in the house and Voss opened the door and said, Rainer, say hi to Bobby and Max. She went, no. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's Rainer.
Starting point is 00:44:59 That's not good though. No, it's not good at all. I remember when Rachel had her baby, Frankie, and we were all out in front after the Colin Quinn drive-in HBO thing we did, and we all went back to the cellar, and then Raina walked up to Rachel, why'd you name your kid Frankie?
Starting point is 00:45:19 Jesus. And we were like, Raina, what the fuck? And Rachel was like, that hurts. That actually hurt her feelings. Reina gets five full points. Dawn, five full points for not being involved in the play. She couldn't be bothered. She goes, it's fine. She knows her place.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Bonnie, for sure, gets five. Bonnie's five full points. Christine, I'm going to give two. Because now just the simple fact that she's Berg's wife though, now you gotta watch what Berg's talking about. You see what I'm saying? We did have to whisper a couple things. Yes. Yeah, you're right. We were whispering a little bit.
Starting point is 00:45:55 She's two points. Yeah. Keith Robinson. Take away all the points. Take them all away. Keith really looks like a gangster godfather. He really does. Like he's in Compton. Here's why Keith, this is why Keith sucks.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Keith always has to bring somebody with him now. Just know something, that I started Keith in my mind as at least a four. Nope. And I was only taking a point away, because it's, you know, you gotta get him everything. And for Christ's sake, you're gonna have to cut up that shitty steak that boss got for him. And then feed him sake, you're gonna have to cut up that shitty steak that Vos got for him.
Starting point is 00:46:25 And then feed him like a child. And nobody wants to see Keith go through that. Well, Keith brought somebody with him. He's got an essential person. No, he always had some girl, you know, that girl. And she came in. A comic or something? I don't know what she was.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Okay. But she sat down and she started, you know, with that shit. What shit? Come on. She made one comment that really got onto my skin. Perjure self. She said, uh, is there, we're sitting around the fire pit doing our thing. Busting balls, Keith's trashing Voss.
Starting point is 00:47:08 We're literally just smashing Voss' party. We're just like trashing it, like this stinks. Voss' house stinks, his fucking food sucks. It's the funnest thing I've done in a long time in front of Voss. Right, and Keith's nurse? And she said, she was a nurse, she was a friend, The funnest thing I've done in a long time. Okay. In front of us. Right. And Keith Nurse. And she said, she was a nurse, she was a friend,
Starting point is 00:47:28 you know that girl. Nurse friend. No, just a comic, somebody. I have no idea. I don't know who she was. And she's like, can we have music? Is there any music we can play? Can we, like right in the middle of,
Starting point is 00:47:44 like can we play some music? And like, can we, like right in the middle of, like can we play some music? And like you know, I mean. You have to ask for music though, at a barbecue to start playing. She went. You're at an old ass barbecue. She went like this, she goes, you know, you know, you can play some of your old white guy music
Starting point is 00:47:59 or whatever. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? I go, play some of your music. She goes, no, you guys aren't gonna be into my music and I went how do you know? We're not gonna be in your music. What type of music and she's like I like Nubian Puerto Rican Something I don't know what the fuck it was New Rican and I was like I go put it on don't I go why not put the fuck
Starting point is 00:48:24 What a tone I go take my phone Put whatever you want on it. Whatever you need. She was like no. I don't want to do that. You guys won't like it I'm like, she's right. Yeah, but nobody gave a fuck. It's like if you want to play something You don't have to put us. I don't even know you we're sitting having a good time and now you got to put us down She's a zero. Wait should you do you want her to cancel it? Cause what we did with, um... I say five, I say... What we did with Jim and Danny is Danny was a negative five and Jim was a five, so it's a net zero.
Starting point is 00:48:53 So we can give Keith a five and we can give her a negative five. And make him a zero. Zero. He's a zero. Keith was five. And he showed up four hours late. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:03 He showed up at the... Keith's not a five now, here's what I'm saying. She's a negative five, and Keith may have only been a three. And Keith loves it. Keith loves that he brings these little pests that are gonna fucking ruin it. All right, so he's three, she's negative five, so they're a net.
Starting point is 00:49:21 Negative two. Negative two. Yeah, I would say that. Okay, so let's call that negative two. Because now it's not. Okay, let me see here. Bonnie, I'm going to count it up right now. Can I tell you why? Quick math. Now everybody's, like we're all trying to make her, it's like we're here having our
Starting point is 00:49:35 time that we have. This is what we do. Yes. And now we're worried that you're not having a good time. No, I know. Stranger danger sucks no matter what, let alone stranger danger that's not cool. that we have, this is what we do. And now we're worried that you're not having a good time. No, I know, stranger danger sucks no matter what, let alone stranger danger that's not cool.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Stranger danger sucks. It's exactly what it was, it's like you're here, you don't know anybody, but whatever it was inside you, you had to kinda take over and make yourself just hang out. You wanna play music, hey can we play some music? Yeah, play whatever you want. And then when you don't have to. You don't like my music, you old fucks.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Exactly. You old racist motherfuckers. Put on whatever the fuck you want. What do y'all wanna do, Elvis? Exactly, no she said that, she said Elvis. Yeah, that's the black people think the old white people love Elvis. She said Elvis and fucking Frank Sinatra.
Starting point is 00:50:26 Oh, Jesus. I mean, not that I wouldn't, I would not turn either one of those off. I would have thrown a rock at the stereo. She should just start playing Elvis. Called in a trap. You like this, you son of a bitch? Now go fucking wheel Keith into the other room.
Starting point is 00:50:40 So annoying. Go wipe Keith's butt. Yeah, exactly. Hold his butt cheeks open while he wipes. So now we were all sitting, but we once the once we all sat around that fire pit and we started smashing Norton's fucking stupid shoes And we started trashing him and then it went over to me and then went back over to Voss and his dumb dirty pool And then we started trashing stupid Keith
Starting point is 00:51:01 For you know not being whole Okay, and it was lady friend just saying they're like bored. She actually trash and stupid Keith for not being whole. Okay. And it was Keith's lady friend just sitting there like bored. She actually at one point was like, yeah. Just old people talk. Yeah, it was almost like, that's mean. I got her, oh my, that shit. George Bush Sr., what?
Starting point is 00:51:17 Yeah, it was a little like. She thinks she doesn't know stuff at all. And she's taking a chair out. Roll down windows. It's like, you sat in a main chair You know I mean like go pull up a fucking chair tube television what? This is my impression over all that Atari
Starting point is 00:51:40 Phone with the dial yeah, yeah rotary phone. Say who? What's a dial? What the? So we got to do some quick math. Bonnie five. Raina five. We're at ten. Dawn, another strong five. We're at fifteen. Danny Braff comes and knocks you back down to ten. God damn it. Danny wasn't supposed to be there.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Oh, but guess what? Jim puts you back up to fifteen. Now, Jim Norton Hope guess what Jim put you back up to 15 Now Jim Norton coming in to I get you 17 Eric McMahon to put you at 19 Ridge Voss 2 for being the homeowner At least he's on the lease Puts the 21. I think he is Aaron Berg five full points coming in at 26 Aaron Berg five full points coming in at 26. Yep. Bobby Kelly making another five bringing us up to 31. Max for two points bringing us to 33. Ooh Piper coming in
Starting point is 00:52:33 with a stiff zero keeping us to Christ's age 33 years old. 33. Christine Berg two points bringing us up to where we at I keep talking and saying too many words. 35. Keith Robinson adding three points, bringing us up to 38, but oh. Oh, looks like we're going back down to 33 because Keith's lady friend brought us down minus five points.
Starting point is 00:53:03 33 total points. Now, if you cut this back 15 years ago We're all getting tens maybe ten well this five was the main score. I find we're getting fives Yeah, I mean I just do star everything in star search scoring. I mean Danny was Danny was still doing magic You're all wearing black like Rockstars except what? The outfits I dig the outfits there's red there's pink there's light blues yeah Danny's wearing that's the one guy that stands out
Starting point is 00:53:33 except for uh yeah we are oh shit hang on whose dog is that down there in the bottom that's that's Bonnie's what's the dog like is it a shitty dog is it not friendly with people no it's a cool dog super cool dog yeah cool dog throw five more points on there for the dog it's five points everyone's happy to see a dog doodle was there too doodles was there doodles a great dog five more points all right great she's on points so that you are and she's doing great now 43 points yeah yeah three points not I mean, look at three points. Not bad.
Starting point is 00:54:06 We should take a break. We'll come back and he's very confident. He gave the dog two dogs. Ten points. Yeah, he really I think people are excited to see sweet dogs. Are those both those dogs aren't dogs that even you have to go? Are they cool? They're so sweet looking.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Our dog right away. Sometimes people go to the wall. It's like a muscular looking dog. But you're like, this dog. I love that you give the dogs more points than Aaron's wife and kid. Yeah. Aaron's wife and kid bring negativity
Starting point is 00:54:32 to a gathering of dudes. You said it was a gathering of friends. We're rating that, the friends gathering. Dogs bring joy. Dogs bring joy. They're just the only ones in the picture. Dawn was there, Bonnie was there, Raina was there. There were lots of we gave kids
Starting point is 00:54:46 Yeah, we gave points for all them. Yeah, but why Bobby? That's what so if dawn Raina and Bonnie all got fives Yeah, why did Christine and Piper get zero because they rule because? Piper being there a child makes conversation have to be watched more we know listening we went no we went to this? No, no, no, I said okay. And then I said, Christine is now, she's not just a comic who brought her kid, it's Berg's wife. So then you gotta be careful, Berg's gotta answer for jokes and shit that we make
Starting point is 00:55:14 or gossips or whatever, you know what I'm saying? You gotta watch. Cause there's a wife there. Yeah, Don you don't have to, Don doesn't give a fuck. Christine, you think you'd be a five at this party? What a lunatic. Christine, you'd be a five at my party What a lunatic Christine you'd be a five at my party. Thanks, Bobby. You'd be a five of mine Jay would be a two Unfortunately Christine can't have one without me
Starting point is 00:55:36 Jay's back up to a five. Oh became a five Guys want Christine to clean up topless We're getting this party up. We'll see my friends hang I guess after this. Oh is that Elvis? God I love Elvis.

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