The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Whistle While You Work

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

While waiting for Reggie Conquest to arrive, the gang finds out that Dan can bird call and later Jacob tries to get a date!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with big J. Ocarson and dance odor Hey, let me do my whistle again That's like when you when you go through your hands, you know, we go I've never heard that noise in my life before that was wild What a crazy skill that I've never known about you. Oh dude come on everyone knows how to whistle out of their hands like that. That's what you're doing is nuts. Is there a bird in the room?

I'm gonna force some extra less. I can get it better. You guys didn't do this in middle school? Nope. And then the aliens would land. You guys, then you go space and get fucked More give me some more fucking hands loot whatever the hell that is I had it perfectly with ace of bass it drove me to sing it Fuck I can't do it what happened Come on everybody out. That's crazy. We're all we're all my suburb kids at y'all know how to do that There it is.

Come on, everybody out. That's crazy. We're all my suburb kids at. Y'all know how to do that. Run it around and sewage. Fucking make it a weird fucking whistle in the bird noises in your hands. Every. Yeah. This is a fun one too.

I hate to slam Lou with callers, but I will say call in and tell us what's your wacky thing that you can do that a lot of people can't do? Ralph always shows me his, it's like flipping a pen some way, he doesn't have a fork or a pen, it's like where he just like spins it off his like finger a certain way and does it? Mine is I can do a bunch of my fingers, I can do all kinds of wacky, just like finger things. Oh, do your own gummy, gummy like I can wiggle my ears. That is weird. What can you do with your fingers? All kinds of wacky stuff.

Before I go to the deck where I can make like a square. Yeah, did you have stretcher arm strong hand? Real quick. What is that even? It's an in-ground traveling. Christine is right there. I could do a way before we go too far. This is the bonfire on Faction Talk series 6M 103.

That thing? Yeah, you look like you have a bum hand. I says the bonfire on Faction Talk series 6M 103. That thing? Yeah, you look like you have a bum hand. I'm dead sort of, that's big jail, Chris. Hi. Full crew. We got the full family today. All better once another baby.

We got, yeah, we got full family on family. Full house. We got DJ Lewis, DJ Jacob Tock, Christine Marie Evans, our black king, the black tiger Lewis. I got a jaw. Oh, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know. Dude, it's like this. steamery Evans are black king the black tiger Lewis Please stop mocking my art Jason

I don't think so I think I'm doing it well. I'm just gonna let you know that right now, the birds think you sound like an asshole. Hang on. You got like this. You take your thumbs together like that. You like put them out a little, snorkels out a little bit, but have it where they're like above your, you see where your finger is like that. You get long, spindly fingers. Yeah, dude. For you to know, in finger and pussy.

Yeah, dude In finger and pussy I'm sure this isn't a good radio bit. It just sounds like air breathing in your ear You pass out like dabs Good on your hands starts twitching. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. He did it again Yeah, we got a full house in here today. And Reggie Conquest's coming in later. Good news though, only three reads. I don't know what we've done. I heard Nicky's got nine.

And she doesn't work here anymore. I know, but she still does want her new reality show. Where she goes, after read this for some reason, outerwear furniture. I liked it all, Nicky shows our questions, the titles. You up. And then now it's like welcome home Nikki Glazer.

Uh huh. It's a question mark. Huh. The galaxy question mark can argue with that. You can't, I love it. I like fun, I like fun punctuation. I like open ended questions. I can't go.

I can't go. I can't throw an asterisk and something. If I can throw a colon and something forget about it. That's the best because you're like, Dan Soder looking for more. Dan Soder on the hunt. It's just quick sentences. It looks so much more bad at sequels. Yeah. Rides the night. Electric boogaloo. All of them are great. They are all great. Well, outside it was almost like we had a bonfire meeting in front of a domestic. A real domestic.

What was that? Was that an Xtera? What was that? Well SUV was that. I felt like that was a knee song. It was fucked up. They drew a lot of attention to a fucked up car. An explorer?

That looked like a beat up explorer. Could have been an explorer. It was a hunk of shit, whatever it was. The guy's hair was all wacky and wild. He's in between corn rows clearly. Or he's in between putting whatever that Miles Davis stuff you put in your hair is to man it down like cap cowboy.

I see it, I see it, I see it, I see it, I see it, I see it. That's how he was arguing with his chin. Boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie. We were doing the response, the column response. How did he, how did he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he goes, you sound like this. How did, how did, how did, how did, how did, to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how to how it out and do the 500 crazy and then the in the campers Facebook group is what I'd like you to pull up Christine because I want to read it phonetically it's so great Andy pace. Yes, shout out Andy pace

Road of shut up he wrote a he wrote like a thing of Josh like what he's how he's inviting her to the it's just phonetically written It's so god damn funny If you can find on the campers Facebook group the Josh posts and Andy Paces things right under it. He's gonna get her on the podcast Riley Reid. Yeah, why he's gonna send dick pics. I don't know. He's got such a tight little body. Oh, yeah He's a little action figure. Fucking Jay really is dude out of the box. He's the size and shape of my he-man Yeah, how are you like dude? How I didn't know everyone has those back muscles Josh. You're a human. He-man. Josh. He-man. Josh. he-man. Yeah, how are you like, dude? No, I didn't know everyone has those back muscles. Josh, you're a human. He-man. Josh, human.

Josh, human Myers. Josh, human Myers. I'm James, he-man. He-man does sound like a Jewish name. Yeah. Hello, I'm Adam. His name is Adam. I'm He-man, he-man.

I'm Adam, he-man. You might know my nemesis skeletal, Jonathan's skeletal. Chika, what's the best Jewish name in your family? We had a horse a Heshi We're a real old school There are any names on a white there was also my mom dated a Jerry who was Jerome How about they come from a time where you can get a black name on a white guy. Yeah, so cool. I'm talking like hyames Oh, yeah, oh like they should be yeah like the people who killed Jesus Oh, that's original pressing

Yeah, that is great first print first print you got first print June names times We all my family's because my family's Irish it's like my mom's side It's all friends of Jesus names, like Peter, Paul, Daniel, Luke. It's all people that... But they didn't go to the Italian one, the Anthony Joseph. No, no, no, no.

The Italian's our play. We have a girl in the family called Moran. Moran? Like, that's real close to Moran. Moran? That's what I say, but it's not that way. I get that, we have a language. we have a Swedish cousin named deep shit so it's close to no yeah fucktard yeah fucktard fucktard fucktard what's wrong i don't know why the campers group is not

showing up on face oh look at that you guys are pulling info now now it's being redacted. There we go. I think this is an inside conspiracy theory. Lew Itzky, thank you so much for these new headphones. Christine, put the calls up. They sound incredible. So do you.

Thanks. Is this the first time you're using them? Yeah, because I was getting, like, I rocked these headphones until they were like, shitting the plastic on my ears. Okay. All right Russell the first call here. I mean this come on Stand-up bass come on Russell and South Carolina Russell you better be at a place where you could do this right now Says he can play music with his dick by stretching it out and using his dick for skin and flicking it. Is that true Russell? Yes. Yeah. To make it a cretae hollow sound sort of like

I thought it was like tune to an e-sharp or something. Yeah, I thought you were going to do a lot. I thought you were going to do some cab cowboy with us. I'm not that at that time. Are you in a place where you can play your dick right now? Unfortunately, I am not. I would get in trouble if I did that right now damn where are you? Otherwise, I would know how funny I really treat you to a concert. Thank you Where are you which so we could think of how funny it would have been if you did do it?

I am stuck in traffic. Oh, dude. You can definitely do it then no laws You can't get people in trouble if they're jerking off in their own car to your car Pull it next to a truck and do it dude make his day. Do you want to go to jail by jerking off? I'm like sir you jerking off he goes now. I know what's gonna look like I was sure but in actuality I was playing a musical instrument the history books will say that I was jerking off of my car. However officer Langdon I was doing a conchare to I was made orchestra Let's see some yeah, sorry. I can't can't perform for you It's all good. I give you night to practice learn a new song for us. Go home and get a jam sash

We do one here can you call in Monday because now you you put it out there. Yeah, no Monday no Jacob yeah, call Tuesday call Tuesday if you could Yeah, if you're really Jacob does he just gets angry out of the gates We're in Chantix. Do you call in and say that and then say our can't do it. You got a Thank you Well, thank you for the call Russell. Expect a call on Tuesday where you could, you know, you could be in studio if you want you could you could tinker with the sounds a little bit What else would Dan pick another one because some of these Adam blowing bubbles with the tongue. I know that one Gleting spits are pretty cool. Why won't people get do that. Yeah, like what is the second one there?

Gleek out. Yeah, like glee where you spit like that. I can do it on your teeth. Can you really do it where you shoot? I don't know if it's that. You just be able to do it. I was at a tea. I think it's like shoots right out of like the salivary glands.

Yeah, you have you ever done it for your never yawn and all of a sudden it's like a direct like like I used to do that pretty good. Really? I can't help it. It's so much only child shit. Yeah, dude. So is that that was what all that hair shit was You just do by the way. I knew I was getting something down if it started annoying my mom If my mom was like shut the fuck up. I'm like oh

Man so good oh No, something spooky happy. Oh Oh no something spooky happening. Oh And you up. I was landing the water drop noise with the mouth. No that one that's classic I want to voice act challenge Dan Soder and he's ducking me. No what David in Ohio. You know why you ducking? You've been ducking him. Yeah, dude I'm so fucking afraid of that smoke bring up David and Ohio. Oh, that's fucking that's David everyone knows you've been challenging me for years decades even at this point He's your fucking Antonio Tarver. Yeah, David right what's that?

This sure is that was pretty good. That was David that was David from Ohio I'm dude you spelled your David from Ohio. I mean you're David from Ohio damn Every opportunity to go Let's do that in so many ways Yeah, I was trying to do it but like a nice little I got to send it hard. Yeah, I don't know that guy. He's still a fan I do Uncle Grandpa voices. You do what? Uncle Grandpa?

What is that? From Comedy Central? Or no, Cartoon Network. No idea. Guy be more specific. Is there a show called Uncle Grandpa? Yes. Yes!

I'm unfamiliar. Hang on David, hold that thought for a second. I'm going to get back to you and Dan in this verbal jousting, but Jacob, I got to wrap my hands. Jacob, do me a favor. Dan, you wrap your hands, Jacob. Could you go find out what the Christ that is right there? Because someone's asking to speak to you off air.

They called in. They don't want to be on air, but they want to speak to you. Please, Jacob, find out what you're doing. Jacob, you're going to take that call while I deal with my arch nemesis. All right. While I deal with my, well I, now David you got, I don't know what Uncle Grandpa is. Still I'm seeing a picture of it. I don't know what it is.

Well let's, maybe we can hear him do the voice first and then we can play a clip of the voice to see if it matches up. All right, let's see how good your Uncle Grandpa is. What can you do Uncle Grandpa for us? Well of course you can dumb dog. Okay, now go look for a clip of Uncle Grandpa and we'll see if it matches up. We'll see if it lays over. Do you got anything else in your satchel? Look at Jacob on the phone. I think she's like, you could have been in me. Yeah, and you're going to be responsible for it. I let you come in my pussy. me give us a little grandpa

Can you do your uncle grandpa? Oh, welcome to support sandwiches. My name is Jeff. How may I help you? That's not about a grandpa. Not about a grandpa. But I gotta be honest with you David Grandpa's pretty easy voice. Can you do it uncle grandpa? I've played again Run it back. The bread doesn't matter what kind of cheese right one tree sandwich coming right up right one You say which coming right up damn To ease you know David you came for me and you're gonna get smoked by my home it now I'm gonna avoid dance the voice guy, but you guys

We're all voice hey. We're all people we're all boys guys. We're all people are all boys I'm out you're right up right. Hey Is it a war doesn't have you a war all the time guys I bleed blood You made me be my best you do any like high level impressions Damn I can try to do burns, but I haven't been able to like nail them down This is not the confidence that I was telling you that Black Lou typed that in with Black Lou typed in with some caps all caps on a couple things

I've been trying to get hold of you all week because I'm a huge fan. I'm going to see you next week So I'll see what's about you in person. Oh, you want to put the linoleum and go at it and I'll have Jeffrey as this hold it. He's featuring. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that.

I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that.

I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that.

I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll instrumentalism. I wouldn't do oh show up in a show up in a geek you have to do the same for student Yeah, it's a lot more for us. Don't you say things like that my calm. That's not what fucking Darth Vader said to Obi-Wan my converse godzilla is Winslow versus Steven Scott

Here's a their plane going by man those If I could digress for a second. Yeah. Winslow versus Steven Scott. That's how stick it's two people. You know, they said, they make it so seriously. These may weather pack you out with two old. If you told Dan to get into a voice battle, he's going to, even if he does it,

he's going to awkwardly laugh every time after he does. Yeah, I'm not going to take this. I'm not going to take this. Yeah, I don't want to do that. You know what I like when he voices is to make my friends laugh, is just to make voices say shit that they normally would say. It just comes up also when it just comes up in conversation

or a thing, it all makes sense. I don't go there. But to take it seriously is it? To take it seriously and later. A layer of. A layer of. A layer of. A layer of.

A layer of. A layer of. A layer of. A layer of. A layer of. A layer of. A layer of. A layer of. A layer of. Like I've not dude him Jimmy Hendrix on one side of the stage while the one man big band fucking Steven Scott's over They're trumpeting with a fucking blow up though That seems great book it someone don king that Absolutely, what's Christine looking up? I don't know, but real quick David. Let's just say goodbye to David

Who do you find out what Jacob's secret lover said David David, we'll see you in Michigan. All right, I'll be sharpening my nunchucks. Well, you shouldn't have sharp nunchucks because you're gonna hit yourself. Yeah, eventually you're gonna have to catch it. I'm not scared. I guess, hey, you know what, David? You live fast and loose, dude.

I can appreciate that. You're sharpening your nunchucks. Buckle up, pay yourself on bill, and then the rest, I got nothing. Good luck, guys. God bless. Sorry, Mr. Shaw was going for a pretty sick move slice my carotid Blood out on my mom's linoleum. She's pre-pissed doctor. See I died three times. Yeah, I also got a staff infection from one of those

Thanks David. I as myself Jacob what did what did she want? I had to to talk really low because you guys were talking, but then I think it came off weird. So it was kind of... I think she was trying to say, I've been trying to get a hold of you, but you don't respond.

And I don't recall anyone trying to get a hold of me, but about what? What is she saying? About what you want to get a hold of you about? Didn't specify. She used to say, I was trying to get a hold of you and hung up. And then I said... Where did she aspire? I said... I don't specify. She just had me trying to get hold of you and hung up. And then I said, was she a spy? I said, I don't know. I mean, I said, you can hit. And then I said, I'm on Instagram.

No, no, Jacob, Jacob, were you by the house that you said you could hit me up on? Did you say? I don't think I said hit me up. Did you say, you're a masterfly right now? Did you really say slide into my DMs? Oh, yo, girl. But I would be on the social. Let me get them social. Oh, baby This is a work number not a plain number. Oh, let me get them social You can you hit me up on insta But yeah, I'd be happy to talk, but I don't I don't recall getting a hold in so it went We're gonna know what she was calling for you have an idea

She could be a and she I think she got weirded out and hung up. And then I felt like this, I was in high school again. Can she get rejected and I don't even know what I did. You didn't get rejected. You're listening. I don't want to say her name unless she calls back or what. I'll say, if she doesn't want her name. I'll say it for the rooftop.

I'll scream it. No, no, I don't want to say unless she wants it to. I don't want to even say name. She calls back. I said her name back. Call back. I wouldn't mind you. Yeah, can you please call back?

I'll try better off the air. Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss, on air. Call back on it. Because we do have to get to the domestic that have an out front. But sweet lady, can you please call back? Sweet lady. I don't know what you beat. Jacob, please, I'm saying Terese. Would you be? Now you talk what you talk over it. Would you be my the lover? Hold on, let me drop a little bass breakdown while you sing that. Hold on let me drop a let me drop a little base breakdown while you sing that Come on girl call back Jacob needs to know which one 10th grade all over again, man. It was horrible. You break in his heart girl

Call back Jacob was taught to you Call the fun Acute and I agreed right? Anything that means zero. I worked in radio for years. Sorry guys. Let me tell you. Sorry guys.

Out of all the girls I tried to meet up with, one, one out of 20 was cute. Everyone thinks I'm cute and then they see I'm a fat chick when I show up. Stop it. You are not. You are. And they go, oh, you don't look like your voice.

Stop. I'm like right now. My voice has abs. I'm sorry. You don't know. Call back, Miss. You know you are. You think she was listening or she just called this time to get a hold of Jacob?

She said in the chin, she hung up, you think she hung up accident? Or? Yeah, she got a little flustered at it and said, I have to. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. My pussy's too wet. I gotta go. I don't think it was that. Oh, god. Oh, god. I think when when you got on the phone she came and then she was like I don't want to stop this guy She said she had come brain. She was put him on. Oh my God. I've been trying to get a hold of you

He's like what? She goes She goes nothing you fucking weirdo click remember I need a sandwich Maybe alone pussy. I don't know you're a weirdo. Yeah, why would you call you called me click? Yeah, I'll call you again when I want to maybe Ew me. I mean, I'm done. I feel like gross. Yeah Man, so first time anyone's called the show just being like I need to talk to someone nice, right? Yeah, I felt special But then I bombed and then she hung up and yeah, yeah, I school Nightmares now I can understand what you think because in your mind you think she's there with six of her girlfriends on another phone And they're going he's actually back it up. Yeah, and they're going like oh is that you think it's a trick?

I'm with you. No, like she was excited and she goes say you want his phone numbers I said you fucking bitch Britney. I can't, you fucking bitch, Brittany, I can't do that. She said so mean. Oh, I so worse. You can find out somebody, one of the friends, when something like that happens to you, I can't even think of the exact thing in my life, but I remember the situation of a friend of a girl

coming up and being like, just so you know, I said I thought that was really mean. Middle school. I don't remember what the things were, but just a friend apologizing. He goes, hey, fatso, I know I'm not this weird thing with you because you don't like me, but I feel pretty bad about that. Dude, I told you the story about that popular girl in seventh grade that I was like, we had talked a couple times on the phone, so I was like, oh, she wants it.

Dude, what are you begging for? Jesus, I was like, yeah, you put it on ice. You fucking burn it. I'm hot. And then I asked her out and you know, I'm a big dumb idiot. So I just did it face to face. I didn't do it through a note. I just hit her. Want to kiss in a movie? Headbutt. Right next to her locker. Lock word. I can scare off bullies with that move. But she said yes. And then the next day at school, all of her friends were like,

have she, has she broken up with you all of her friends were like, have she broken up with you yet? And I was like, what does that mean? She's going to today. It's gonna hurt. And now you know preemptively how much it's gonna hurt. Shout out Brendan Flowers for saying that right to my face. From now on the rest of the day, the minutes are gonna tick by like days.

So then they were like, she gave me a note through her friend that I've told the story That was like I want to break up with you and then I wrote like a fucking Battle wrap back to her that was like your shallow you should done it to my face you suck Then I found out my fucking seventh grade math teacher Mrs. Coleseth Fuck there fucking read that my note to all the popular kids in their math Shut up Swart of God laughing with them. Yeah, and also a legal name. I don't get a fuck dude.

I'm not at Lorado middle school anymore. Whatever the fuck I want. That's not you. That's not me anymore. But yeah, dude, a teacher fucking read it to the popular kids, and then it got back to me. And I was like, you know, I was hanging out with the skaters. I was a poser, but I was hanging out with the skaters.

And I was like the fuck had hurt. Oh, I was hanging out with the skaters. I was a poser, but I was hanging out with the skaters and I was like the fucking hurt. Oh, I bet. Dude, a teacher being like, check out what he wrote. That's so cool. That's beyond the truth. And now I realize that that lady was probably like 27 because it's a public school and they're just like paying kids like 30,000.

So it's just some 26 year old lady who's like, I don't know, let's read this fucking letter You do bullying like that kind of bullying on people is fucking quoting you have to like send them through the day with something Yeah, dude, do you know, I mean I'd rather fight pouring something on their dick like they pissed their pants like ah Why would you do that? Why do that? I have to walk around I mean sure it's funny, but not because I'm insecure What's up? Any word on J. Gibbs stalker? No, she's not calling back. She's in the air.

She's in the wind. That's not what happened. Do you think that was her first? Do you think she's like some kind of a gorgophobic schizophrenic? And she was the first day she decided to call dial the phone? Or maybe she has an abusive husband. And she was only able to get away from him for like 10 minutes. Do you think the fact you held her on the phone too long?

I don't understand what she was saying. Is the reading she getting beaten right now by our abusive husband? Possibly. Do you think she's in the back of a closet? Like the Metallica video turned the page. And then she thought you were going to save her. Yeah, she rises. You're not, you're not the white knight she was hoping for.

You're probably in her phone is Captain Sabahoe. Speaking of Sabahoe. Almost. Well, it didn't get there. Thank God. You probably interphone is kept and say, but oh, speaking of saving a hoe almost, well, it didn't get there. Thank God. Well, that's where we all were outside when that yelling started between that couple. Dude, and it got fucking loud. They were screaming at each other.

The social thing that you have to go stop a man from probably beating his chicken. Yes. Is such a burden on a man. Yeah, that's when men get involved in domestic disputes It's not because it's the right thing. It's because it's in public and you're like other people judge me I think I have the perfect I think I have the perfect the perfect move for that always is a mean son it Hang on everyone my Dan friends gonna play the hand Oh, yes, like you sunrise in the winter.

The move, it doesn't matter if the guy is completely wrong. If he's just a maniac and he's like, I told you not to wear shirts to show your arms and start speeding her, to grab the dude and overwork the, not that you're on his side, but just like the, I'm looking out for you to not get in trouble. But dude, dude, dude. Bitch ain't worth it.

Yeah. Look at that fat pig. She isn't to serve you. He's like, I love her more than any of you. She's thin. Look at that. I know. I'm just trying to get you to like,

I just don't want you to punch her in the face in front of all these people. What he is then we have to do whatever, and I don't want to do whatever. What if you beat us up? What if we're sitting there looking our wounds with her? Yeah. What if I try to slam you and then I slam you

on top of my head like in those fight videos online? But in my head in my head though, I get him in like a headlock with my arm around his throat and he's like kind of like Sort of honest like as he's standing on his feet, but he's bent backwards sort of and I'm giving and I'm giving his friend to hand out I'm like don't we don't want this either. We don't want this to escalate dude. Yes Yes hand out like don't we don't want this either we don't want this to escalate to yes yes all right just get is she willing to come on just come on there she won't come on she won't come on here Jacob again damn Jesus this woman so mysterious Jacob go take guys watch and learn all right

and doctor smooth the doctor is in did it dude what if like in two minutes from now we see Jacob we'll go over you's taking a dick pick with the cell phone for No, sorry guys him looking at the box of the window going. Oh, I know Goes I guess I mean I could probably work something like that. I don't know. Why you're a little firecrack Stand up turn around and bend over. Yeah, you're gonna look at that. Now stretch it stretch it out. Yeah, dude Yeah, take the call dude. Take the call. I like that we have a patching in like a war correspondent It's gonna microphone it ahead to Jacob. How's it going? Oh, man. I want it. He's on the phone with her It's a panic hung up. She's like, oh with her. It's a panic hung up. She's like, oh, I have a good question. We can have for Jacob's brother himself. Vincent and PA wants to know, why hasn't Jacob done a campaign

with campaign? I've been thinking about it for weeks. He should be, oh, like, he should be the spokesperson. How couldn't he be? Yeah. Why should he, I mean, he would do wonder all, man. I don't know. He's over there. I should be Jacob. I should be Jacob with a hot tall model and just, it was arm around her butt, and just be like, campaign. Yeah. Sometimes you need campaign to make life sweet. Oh. I'm not saying she was me for the campaign, but it don't hurt.

So, I just love hearing us when we stop talking, just Jacob with the backer going, no, no, no, baby, that's not who I am. Like, come on, yeah, I'm a different guy. He's like, well, I measure from the base, but I'd say six, seven. I don't know, are you into girth or length? Which one are we doing? I know, I'm talking down on her.

Oh, yeah, dude. Are you putting this on here? No, no, no. Just yours, I, we can't hear her. I know, do it. No one's going. Should hang up on them again. I know This could be Jacob the love of his life or the woman this could be the woman that murders Jake now turn them might let

them just do it let them just do it good tell her she's not tell you're not on my key there no no don't hang up Don't You're not on the air either Tell her you're on no one's on the air no one's on the air except J and I right now we're barely on air at that I know we're not doing a great here. No, you're not on the air either. Tell her you're on, that was on the air. No one's on the air except Jay and I right now. We're barely on air at that. I know we're not doing a great job. No, had all, but I love that this is happening. Oh, dude, you see that?

Fell dog has a show the day before you're in Phoenix. Yeah, but, oh, wait in Phoenix. There, yeah, but that's a Wednesday. We do bonfire. Yeah, well, but I'd say I implore Phoenix campers go fill it up Have a blast and enjoy yourself. Give them a positive experience. Yeah, don't be so once and then someone come tell Dan the next day How batshit the whole thing was I saw today a guy on Twitter was like Hey, I tweeted a Corey Foban crackle crackle and he blocked me. It's like yeah, that's what's gonna happen. Yeah

We're not going for this so noble move no we're we're we've dogged on him already we don't on him over 20 times there's no more dunking on Cory Feldman no my personal counts still not blocked and I love that I can like go see I still Jay and I are Jay and I personal account book block no he'd probably fuck you to get back at us you think yeah? Well, if you became an angel, that's the ultimate turn. Christine, go, listen, or if Louis, or if Louis, he becomes as enforcer. It won't be the first time a spy has got into his house. But you might actually fall for him.

Oh my God. If he decided to make you the manjul, Christine, if you could feel not ridiculous dancing around a house because your significant other is dancing more ridiculously, you'd be happy there. Yeah, I'd be happy. Yeah, so what you got to bang Corey Feldman once in a while? Oh, no, I have to bang Corey Feldman.

You know, maybe I call and sick on that Wednesday show and fly out to Phoenix a day early. I did the desert. Dude, I'm gonna be, it's gonna be so fucking hot when I'm out there. He can't, Corey Feldman's whole demeanor just reminds me so much my uncle Johnny that can't really Yeah, I know he's always dancing like that. No, just the way the way he likes Damn, he's got some shells with butter Blue how many of us would have had to get involved before you got involved in that domestic outside? Blue how many of us would have had to get involved before you got involved in that domestic outside? I don't know you guys are bigger than me. I was gonna see where that went. You're gonna sit out of it. You weren't gonna jump it over there either,

I was involved Have the cops come over they go now. What do you four black people argue with about it goes? Oh, no, no, no I'm with them and they go I'm with the bearded whites Jacob had to go. Loves in there. I went all right. I mean, she was just trying to get hold of me, but didn't know how because she's not on Instagram. Okay, just getting a hold of thing, but you were on the phone

longer than trying to get hold of you. I got a hold of you. What was that conversation? She just said she'd like to talk. And I said great. And then I gave her the email so that we could later get all. But it's like she wants to, of course, maybe. So it's a corresponding.

That being, yeah. It's like she's calling for seeds. She can get like an intern, general or something. She likes you. I think so, yeah. Dude, you feel so good right now. It's whatever.

Okay. Yeah, dude. Dude, that feeling is so good right now. It's whatever. Okay. No, dude. Dude, that feeling is so good. Let it in, dude. I don't know, man. That's whatever. Yeah. And lady wanted to get a hold of you.

She called your work phone. She's been trying to know, and I do want to say, like, she was like embarrassed because I guess that was it's an embarrassing way to get a hold of somebody. So I appreciate that she went yeah, she And pass that and try to get something about you The chair of our Facebook. I don't know anything. I just gave her the fuck She's actually really bonfire emails, so though I would respond. Do you think she's a pet oh hunter and she's pretending to be a lady Maybe she's a sweet angel that loves our Jacob.

Uh, could be. Jacob, look at your face. It happens. It happens. Happy in a world where I'm not just shitting when you I love that. I've that feeling rules so hard. Yeah. The first day you're like, I like someone. They like me. You got a little what you looks like? Oh. She has an email that she sent to the bonfire. Yeah, what is it, her squirting? What is it, she has a cock. Anybody?

I don't mind, I'm not gonna read it on the air, but okay, I didn't realize it was a, I didn't realize she had emailed before, so now I'll try, I will respond. Oh my dick dude, it's like rock hard right now. Damn dude, she's bent on your case. What if she's the hottest trans? Well, already progressive?

Pretty progressive. I'll tell you what I was about to read it. By the way, Reddit, if you just type it, I am so beyond any kind of like porn stuff now and this Reddit, I'm blown away by how many communities there are if you just type in the wackiest shit. And in the wackiest shit and In the rabbit hole of like that one to that one of that one. I got to

Tran huge cock trans that you'll never be able to tell are Our men or have dicks and I mean Stunners, yeah, dude. It's so funny though. With 11 swinging inches. Because when you go to, you gotta read it. You can go down whatever fucking like tiny hole you want. Who's got time for that? You know what I mean? You like find wrestling shit. You can find video game shit.

You can find stuff like people falling. So the fact that you were out, ended up there so funny, that's where you burrowed to. I think it started with girls shitting things. Was this thing I saw on there? Girls shitting stuff out of there, like a girl firing like tennis balls out of her ass or something.

That's all there? All right. Yeah. Like a whole community that's like, hey, we're over here, we call ourselves the Wilson Phillips. Yeah. Yeah, every time I click on a reddit thing, it's the time I clicked on it has to go like that 18 plush and I'm like sure Done and then I look and then you go down the hole. I've gotten some yeah It's like it's hard to go but sometimes you get misslets like can you hit me with girls with monster cocks?

Then you click it and then there's too much just monster cock and a lot of girl But then you see but I'll take a peek at like 15 or 20 just to see what kind of cocks are out there. I got to tell you man, there's some cocks that really like, it changed the course. You do you got to think about your dick and your plans every day like that kind of size. What do you mean? I'm what you're wearing and what you're doing.

I mean like, oh, so you go for like circus size. Well, I don't go for any of it. I do. You burrow. That's how does that mean? You're not you go for any of it, Dan? Well, Dan, you burrow. That's how does that mean? You're not just standing on the street and it's driving by on a pillboard. You're going down the fucking rabbit hole. Well, I was trying to find a women gay fight by monster cocks.

It turns out some of them are just pictures of monster cocks. Just touch each other or something. Yeah. Just what guys do, man? Just what guys do. But... But the Hawker... We're at the the Hawker old monster cocks ones. It's just like a hot lady with just a big dog Dude

Beautiful something maybe there's filters or I don't know, but I mean they look ridiculously hot and they have gigantic dicks Pretty great, huh? I love them. Oh, do you take them? I thought those right as boy I love them. I go really I said it there. I've been holding it aside for a very long time. I'm free for my cage Finally the world knows I don't care. I mean it is what it is. It was beautiful to me. How long of a how long of a burrow Does that take for you to get there from pooping stuff out girls pooping stuff out of their butts two cigarettes and you're just outside Outside or yeah outside or laying on the

Hang it up the window with a guest room Rip it one just looking at ladies with big dogs Is that what's this what's this thread big dick girl sure? It's a community dude. girl sure it's a community dude yeah it's a whole community that's all I ever click is community that looks like a boy though but I mean come on dude come on are you kidding wait I don't know these are Photoshop no women with giant bones. No So wait hold on a second. This is some sort of comic book creation that a man in a laboratory created because there's no no man in a laboratory Created it for sure, but I was working in the lab when this hot lady came in and said put on the penis

Damn What is my only only one in the room that doesn't understand trans woman. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son.

I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son.

I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. I'm a son. going down for a few three you're harping on this one this isn't a great example come on look at that fucking horn on that hot chick dude that's what it should be called horns on hot chick

you gotta keep going down you gotta get it the better and better that's not even a big dick get her out of here I like that you're disappointed when they're not big now look at that fucking monster right there come on now dude Do you think do you think you're twilight zone J. How do you look like how do you have a dick like that and go? I think I'm a woman inside. It's really something burning in you J. Do you think your twilight zone episode is one morning You wake up and you just have a monster cock and it's very uncomfortable when you hate life. Yeah Then I'll be it then I'll be a cheater. Then I'll have tits in a monster dick. Yeah. He's just like wakes up and you're like,

no, I want to go back to my regular's. All right, now Jacob, that honestly, that might be Photoshop, but that's, the anatomy all looks wrong there. But go keep going down Christine, please. You don't have to stay on that. You just want, all right, that's a boy. Get out of here.

Yeah, there you go. Chick with Dick, dude. Look at that bald, short asshole. That's your circumcision. She does. We went to the same. Oh, Rabbi Lieberwitz. God, she's got, Jay.

Jay, she's got your cup. Why don't Rabbi Lieberwitz just for her? He does a good job. We should be part of Dick's next. We'll touch four to the four skins. Let's go. Look at that that a perfect line just like always Christine, thank you for comparing me to this trans cock. Could you please move on? Jam and I go, you got a hot cock. Thank you now boy body scrolling boy body touch me boy body

Get it out of here. You on a woman. These aren't making the point. I'm making man here you on a woman these aren't making the point I'm making man Jay loves a woman Now ugly go Yeah, these chicks have massive massive this is where Jay lives on the internet, dude Who go find you a chick with a big old dick. Look at that monster cock. It looks like Kim Kongden with a dick. She's so pretty. Damn.

I'm not a hot dog in decades. Don't you have it? Have you ever, do you go from like, do you go from this to like, made me smile? Do you go to like this from like a cutesy thing? Or is it all like, if you look at your, reddit some It's a girl shitting things. Do you ever look up cute stuff on the internet ever public piss?

What you say that's cute? No like Like cute animals are like white do you ever look up like fights or like a fun world star We this you all the big ones sure, but I like subreddit you look at like I don't I'm to subreddit like Public freak out is right my girlfriend's clip like what I just type in words wacky. That's the best mean ever in history Do you want it? It's Friday Put that out and say it's me show me me, show me, show me, huh? You can't say it's me. You can't say it's me? The one that makes me laugh, she said,

the one that makes me laugh. If I was a lady. It's a very goss. Don't react unless you'd fuck a thick goss slut. Right there. It looks like it's a bull. That's what I should put on my head shot. Don't react unless you'd fuck a thick goss slut.

Um, that is exactly what I look like as a woman Dildo up your point 80 Bryant with a wanger Christine, please you get rid of this Friday. I mean Bounty bounty bounty lady Penises With a deal in my butt and my wiener bounces. I'm in love my new hormone Titties are starting to get tight. I'm so sad, but I've got to wang up. Shoot and come lady. Shoot and come. Get the guy look at that guy. Chest get out of here. Disgusting. Damn you just get out of here.

Well, let's take a break. There we go. Now we're talking She's looks like she's sad on gum Let's take a break it's the bonfire Think strikes off on her own face from there. That's pretty cool And now back to the bonfire with big J. Ocarus in and Dan Soder. Um, dude, that's like a lady. Dude, that's like a lady. Do you want to be a lady that golfs? I know you do, Christine. I wish you were a lady who had a golf club between your legs. What?

It's my new thing. I'm in the huge caulk-tock trans. Either get with it, or get out. Yeah, swing the thickness this way. Welcome back to the Bond Fire Series XM Factor Talk 103. I'm Dancer, that's Big Jair person. We're all stunned. There's been a development. There's been a development, but I don't know if it's as big as the development as we thought it was. I think it is. I don't think it is is Jacob got a call earlier off air from a woman in Haas In Texas that wanted to speak to Jacob. We believe for romantic reasons. I still believe might be some room

It might be it might be still do you think it's just pick up a blue black blue look back. It's an emails Well, I think you're wrong. I think you're wrong. I think you're wrong, Jacob. She's a fan and she asked to do something with our back catalog and wanted to know if it would be cool. So she'd have to speak to you as the executive producer, Jacob. But then in another email, she asked,

is it cool if we get some coffee? Yeah, that sounds Danish It does and says even if not like you know, whatever ignore but like it's But yeah, there's still something a little bit there for sure Whatever I can take it or leave it. No You have a good day and we want you have a good day No, but you it took the wind out of your sales when we thought I was something more when was was was from what the Business one how long ago was that a couple days ago five eleven twenty two. Okay, when was the other one the coffee Friday

I'll cast Friday she sent that yeah, that's five twenty. I think it's good. I think it's good stuff still I think it's I think you're in good shape still, but I know I knew you had that good feeling and then right away I was some other reason What will they say Yeah Texas girl can't you see I You miss her Damn you love Greece dude loves it. What do you play it for?

Very underrated musicly. It's very underrated. What's the most you've danced in your house alone to Greece? Whole soundtrack I watched the movie all the time on the VH1. It's not what I asked you I said how many times have you danced in your house that if someone saw what you were doing to while watching Grease? I don't know. How many times have you grabbed a broom handle and sang into it? Yeah, that's too much. There's no chance. Do you have a hand jive at your house? 100% head jives the worst You don't mean that real fans hate the hand jive You hand jive baby on this that song is the one that blows. Yeah, that belongs to grease too. Are you guys crazy? It's Shaanana. I don't like the first concert my mother ever took me to she was trying to fuck Chico from Shaanana

Was there any contact between your mom and Chico? No, I Don't think I don't know I could have really occupied myself in a car for a long time So let me bring storm shadow my guys If I had my guys my mom could have totally fucking backstage Betty a car for a long time so let me bring Storm Shadow. Oh my guys. What? If I had my guys, my mom could have totally fucking backstage beddied Sean on a. Oh, I hear just that she did. Why are you just out in the park a lot having a fucking epic adventure with you guys? My mom seemed like more of a Lenny guy.

The fat saxophone player from Sean on a. I don't even know if he was in Sean on a in Greece. The big fat guy. He's who might be enjoying later. I don't know. As long as Bowser is there, you got Sean on a. That's the only fat guy. He's who might get in the joint later. I don't know. As long as Bowser's there, you got shot on. That's the only important person. I only know about Bowser and Sean and off from Adam Sandler's on a Bowser from Shoday's for Jewish.

Yeah. Oh, we've watched Bowser on the show before. We brought up Bowser. He's a ridiculous character. Hey, fellows, we're in the big, big. Yeah. It was like someone's like, Hey, can you make Fonsi slow? Yeah. What if we had a bigger, dumb or Fonsi? Yeah, can you make Fonsi as slow as possible?

It's up Jacob, you still going through it? No, no, I'm just gonna run out and get our guest. You have the most confusing part. I think Christine got him. Yeah, that's where Christine is. Well, some issue with the security. Oh, really? Cause he's black.

He's black by getting it. No, I put him in the system apparently saying he wasn't Yeah, well, it's another black man in the system. Damn Jacob. You put the whole system against real nice, dude Why should you go get a black man out of the system for us in your life? It's good in this world Jesus Christ instead of locking up another brother project innocence everybody. Yeah, you fucking white devil God damn you know in the house at a room. I gotta say black a little how long before he turns on you. I mean how long before he just turns on you work with that Monster can you be trusted this guy thinks he's in love every five seconds turns out a girl to sponsor a podcast guys got Hard eyes for women. They're just trying to get ahead in the business world

Does everything have to be sexual on a thing is right now the guys is straight predators You see how goose up he got for those chicks with big huge fat tics? Oh my god. Wait, was that me? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you it's uh yeah Reggie could black Reggie couldn't get in and then Christine went over there and Karen's now she's in trouble and now finally you have to send over a tiny Jew to resolve all this I bet Christine gang gang please yeah

Christine was like I can't even bring my dog in here you saying Reggie's a dog yeah him him him him yeah do that whole Reggie showing up almost emptied out the whole studio. Yeah, everybody went through that. Yeah, no one likes this sexual tension brought on by that red thread. Yeah, the red is too hot in here.

Man, could you imagine being a guy who then is, you know, feels they're a woman. Change it to a woman. And then you have the ability to plug your own wiener and your own butthole. I don't know. I think you probably do that once. No. I don't think you do it consistently.

No, it's a term in the industry. It's called a complete circuit. I don't think they do it. I don't think it's snake eating its tail. No, you operate 100% efficiency. No. You're constantly feeling yourself with proteins. They call it cold fusion. They're able to make it happen.

I think it's going to circle of life in some countries. It's called the, ah, they, I bet you do that once and then you're like, I'm never going to do that again. I want Christine here. What, put your own dick in your butt hole. Yeah. I think you're wrong about that. I think if you can do it, I think you try it more than once for sure. First of all, you tell enough people that you have to show them eventually. You know, I mean, like you're going to have to be like, you can't just come and tell me that.

It's just like, like I reached out before we have to have them call back when you can actually play as four skin music. You know, I mean, what am I going to take your word for that? Okay, thank you. Good luck. I can fart the sparse bangled banner. Can you? Well, I'm not right now. Dude, there's two stories.

We got to pick a story. Let's pick a story for a Reggie gets here. Do we want to do the copper rested for masterbating in front of a woman who called for help? That seems like a very fun J topic. Both of these are pretty great. What about Andy? So the Reggie comes in. Yeah. If we're ever able to get him in here. Yeah. Andy Dick, sexual deviant. You brought that up off air. It's a pretty wacky situation. And I still want to get to the Kim Jong Un cool leather jacket.

Let's do that first. Yeah, we've been waiting to do that for months. I was on Inside Edition. Was it? Inside Edition still happens? Yeah, during the day, dude. Who hosts it? Bill O'Reilly.

No, I don't know. Was he initially inside Edition? I think he was. That's the show, right? Where he's like, we're going to have Bowie play us out. What the fuck does that even mean play us out? How have you never heard that term? Yeah, I don't know.

You're Bill O'Reilly. He's mad about it. I don't know why he was so mad. That was the funniest part. Man, if Christina Sears she'd bring up that clip so fast and we would watch. Fuck it. We'll all do it live. I know, but instead they're out there trying the probably a black man through the doors of series

So it is it's not right on the teleprompter. I don't know what that is. I've never seen that No, there is we are gonna do sting yeah, okay, but There's no I can't read it. There's no there's no words on it. Yeah, you got zero to 60 like me There's no words there to play us out. What does that mean to play us out? It's sting is gonna do it's a video sting video Okay, so scared I don't know what that means to play us out. What does that mean? To end the show All right go go goes goes. Oh, I answer that for you ASAP he goes fucks ASAP me. Yeah, man like ASAP. I don't know

Oh, dude bring it back a little bit because you started to get fucking puffed up tomorrow and that is it for us today And we will leave you with a I can't do it We'll do it live Well do it. We'll do it live We'll do it live Do it live I My favorite it's my favorite meltdown It's me losing video games every time Fucking things. Oh, yeah, I gotta look like this. So the fucking stupid thing. Stuck! Fuck! I've given emotional...

What does that mean? I've had an emotional conversation to my... my PlayStation before where I've said it goes... I'm almost talking to it. I go, I spend a lot of money on you to enjoy myself. I'm enjoying myself losing over and over again. You're hurting. Yeah.

Why would you... I don't give any back when I lose, do I? Fuckin' machine. I remember, yeah, dude, and we've both done this I've done this in my life where you start you like you're losing to your friend You're like what's cool because the machine it's clearly broken. I don't know. It's game's broken Thank you're winning this many times Is it really this big of a problem that Redgie can't get it? Yeah, I guess it is damn dude

The lady recognized him. I just got like five people in here earlier today before our show. It's not that hard. Yeah, oh, it's. Wow, expose them. Expose them, Jay. Lou, we gotta take this place down from the inside, Black Lou. What if I told you Black Lou's been waiting for this?

He's such as early days at OP radio. He's been wearing a wire. He's been as early days at OP radio. He's been wearing a wire. He's been undercover. Yeah, he goes He's got big board meeting and they're like no blacks in the studios except employees They were like well, who is wearing a wire? But here's the good news. We don't have to because DJ Lou will just put out everything they say you know when they think the mics are off He goes the best is I got I got him going for seven years of comfort Best is I got I got him going for seven years of comfort

Lord I'm in one day Lord I'm in and then one day Taking shot skis Wake up in the morning to take a poop Good morning Hello You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings

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