The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Whistling & Bourbon Hour (feat. Bert Kreischer)

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

The Machine's shirt is off, he's boozing, and singing to The Go Go's! Bert Kreischer visits the show.

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly. and now the bonfire with big jail kerson and robert kelly that's promotion for you could think indeed jaylo

for our guest artigas to decide the show today i guess sure do we build up whole show around bobby's best friend who just jagged this the last second right in the can. X best friend. Thought these guys were like close to best friends. Well, he's number three, four now. He's number four.

Healing moves out one spot. He moved more than one spot. Now Voss is in front of him. I don't know, listen, I don't want much to try to make Jim feel bad. I just wanted to know that we paid this Transporn star $15,000 to be here today. 15,000 we split it. It doesn't work for free. Now, $15,000 to do this for the for Jim

for Jim so we can get to see a little strange in his world. Not strange. Well, normal in his world. Not be, his world. We know when you say that someone that you're getting a little strange out there, like hook it, like cheating, his strange in his world would be another trans. Well, a strange in his world would be a regular girl that liked him.

Yeah, like strange. Well, I'm $15,000 in this shitter. Strange in his world would be a girl who pees in the toilet. We had it taken right out of our pay. Yeah, right out. We're like, Jim, stop complaining about this. We want Jim Norton on the show. There's only one way to bait him in. And that's with. And that's with the transplant star. And then look, now we find ourselves with what? With egg and girl come on our face. What a wonder, we've got egg and trans come on my face. Yeah, but they're both protein.

Oh, now I can have that with. Oh, oh, oh, oh, is that epic? I think Christine's currently vomiting. She's not. She's getting our guest who did show up, who flew in for this. We saw him outside very briefly and he was shirtless. That's to no surprise. He had a dog in a backpack on his back and he in a Joe's pizza and a crew of three filming him. Yeah. Everybody's filming the

whole time. The whole time. I mean, he's walking down the street. Yeah. And one guy was like, is that bird? Yes, stupid. Yes. Someone walked up up he goes are you bird? I started laughing my eye I go is he bird? It's a quiet it could be more just east. He's currently doing the thingy shirtless With a diff surrounded by a film crew with a with a dog on a backpack and a pizza and a pizza hey Are you I'm sorry if you get this? Are you a burt? Crusher hey, I know you guys are on black paint and you were in high hill boots. Are you Berk-Rysher? Hey, what a knit wit. I know you guys are on black paint, and you're wearing high heel boots. Are you guys kiss?

Ben. Ben a guy who works here goes, whoa, I know this guy is doing the show with him tomorrow, but I mean Berk-Rysher just walks up to my job. You know, me and Bobby walk in here job every day. You fucking asshole. Where is there no excitement? Jacob's still not excited about us. No, he's not He can't even fake it DJ Lou what's up? DJ Lou in the house

Yo Excessed Jubilands that's that's pure bliss pure bliss great. That's called gratitude for being part of a funny crew Jacob's in a corner Tap taped up the walls so no one sees tranny weeners in here. Yeah. I guess you're not, I guess you're not feeling a real lot of pride this month, Jacob.

Fine. I say let them see. I say let them know we're here, we're queer and we're not going anywhere. Yeah. We're doing a show, show your ass. Show your ass. It's right, Jacob.

It is for closed minded Sure. It's right Jacob It is for close-minded people I guess I'm excited about the show. I'm really bummed that mr. Norton Number two number two best friend maybe three now is that four or five? It's probably family emergency or something. No, he's oh, yeah, he had to do gut felt oh gut felt okay right next door Wow, he's like right here and he's right wing That's crazy for the record. I'm pretty sure gut felt done at five o'clock Just for the record. I'm gonna make a big thing about it. I think they started five. You just did it Jay Correct, and I'm pretty sure yeah, couldn't you come in later six to seven now he has to be the whole time Well, his Jim and Sam is my girlfriend's favorite show. So this is very this heartening. What yeah, that's why we're always on your side

Yeah, she doesn't appreciate who we do it all can I just say something? She particularly did not like Dan Oh, by the way, it's just ridiculous. How do you not like Dan? Right? She's the one did not care for him. She didn't like Dan She she called his stand up. She saw his show and then he came back and she goes it was very nice Wow, that's a that's the biggest insult you can give a comment. That's worse than on funny Yeah, I mean if you're a Catholic preacher, that's a good compliment. What a polite what a polite comic he was You were interesting Wow, that was really polite he was. Hey, you were interesting. Wow, that was really polite of you. Yeah, very, very, very, very, okay.

Hey, what, hey, what's your thing with my stuff? It was sweet. Okay, funny. Funny. Funny. Funny. Funny. Funny.

What do you think of my stuff? It made me feel peaceful. It made me feel peaceful inside. I'm not off to it. If I need to peaceful inside. I'm not off to it. If I need to not off, I'm not off to it. Yeah, you know what, hey, what do you think of my standard? It reminded me of golf.

Just something I have on the background. Doesn't offend anybody. It's not like anybody's thinking. What is your girl thinking me? I don't know yet. Whoa. I was it. We were gonna go see you last weekend,

but she hasn't, she's not aware of you yet It's just listen to the show at all I mean she seems to get furious every time we say something He does not listen to the show. She does Jim's not coming in. She definitely tuned out so say what you want Well, if big Jim is listening this wasn't us. We do want to cross promote, but This is really we did everything we did everything possibly in our power. This was the morning show Did this? Your morning show. Yeah, you're morning show. You're I can only assume higher paid morning show. Oh, you can assume

You know, don't you oh Jim has a penthouse? I have I have a ranch with no basement and an attic You got a bond door on that bathroom though. I do have a bond door on my back. Okay, say anybody wants to really squint and pee card, you could probably see Bobby taking a shit. Yeah, you want a shit. You'll see Morgan Murphy taking a shit, you can definitely see that, one of my parties.

Is that Morgan Murphy taking a shit? Is that that red-headed ghoul? Take a ghoul? There was a time where I'd watch Morgan Murphy take a shit. Morgan Murphy is sexy. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Well, I think I know her, I've spent enough time with her now

that I don't know if I'd watch a take a shit now. No. But a new Morgan Murphy in town, I was definitely like, I was like, who's this, and can I watch them shit? Her and DeRose were good friends. Yeah, that seems right. Yeah. Yeah, DeRose seems to get along well with a woman who wears a leather jacket

from the 60s to protect him. Morgan Murphy was at her protect Joe from problems. Hey, I'm going to get you really shitty drunk at this bar. Can you watch my back? I love you some Deroza. Do love Deroza. Well, I love me Jim Norton. It's too bad that he's His love us back. Nah Sam Roberts would come in a second. Why didn't we invite Sam but then but we did the whole thing Big Sam does hate trans and spread that word. Yeah, that's just Sam. Yeah, he actually moved into a non trans neighborhood I'm pretty sure yeah, here we go at least don't know if we have the only people in America who get burnt with a shirt on.

How's that happen? What about you? It's cold. It's very cold. You sit right on the back. You guys next to Bobby, for sure. Look at you. OK, sit here.

Yes. Look at you guys. You can. Oh, this is good. You've done this before, Lou, but this is a goodie. If you put the headphones on, you can hear. He's playing Welcome to machines for you. Pretty cool.

Oh yeah. What's he gonna be merge? There's no better music to get high too than... Pink Floyd? Pink Floyd is the best. Yeah, but somebody just started thinking too much about what's going on in the studio and it wigs me out a bit like one guy

Just went nuts and they left him on the fucking side of the road. Do we have got any of us do we've got? Yeah, we do I didn't realize I was boring you already with no sorry My alcoholism takes over he goes fuck chase can go on it was die tribes about music I'm gonna please He's just what it's gonna be all day hit me please Poo's please It's just what it's gonna be all day hit me please Hahaha Road to still coughing from that joint outside

You took one hit and fell to pieces I was in the middle of talking and I just breathe I just breathe then too quick It was so good It was at the very end of the joint that's the word How was it? I don't know You can't find out I'm still I'm just coughing too much

It's the gigglyest funnest we've ever I'll give it to the machiner as always Baby Jeaters They're best It's called Baby Jeaters Too much it's the giggleiest fun as we've ever I'll give it a machete as always baby jeaters It's called baby jeaters baby jeaters and I will have tons with us on the road. Oh, for real don't you worry? Oh Jay, I got it. I got special weed for us. Yeah. Yeah, what is it meth platinum blue dream? Yeah, uh-huh I got really excited when I went to your new studio. You some fun. You have like weed people send you to come in like Humidors and shit. Yeah, El Blunto. El Blunto. They send me a Humidor full of weed. They're awesome. El Blunto is great. Why do you have to treat weed like cigars? You can't you well you don't have to but if you do it just keeps it Perfect. Oh shit. Yeah, sometimes I'll put a little like one of those little what are those? I never said the percentages on the packs

Those water packs. Yeah, the Bavita packs. Um well of those little what are those? I never understood the percentages on the packs. Those water packs. Yeah, the Bavita packs. Um, well, it's, uh, what you want the temp, the, um, humanity, humidity to be 72. Oh, you fucking serious? Yeah. So 80 something like if you, if it's really dried out cigars, you put an 80. And then if it's, you want it, great, just 72. Will you at my house recently when I showed you I got that, I got the electric humidor. Yeah, it's awesome. So those are the game changer. I put all my scars in it, there it filled great, just 72. Well, you at my house recently, when I showed you, I got that, I got the electric humidor.

Yeah, it's awesome. So those are the game changer. I put all my scars in it there. It filled them all back up. Yeah, it's great. All the dry ones, and I had some great ones that had the name, and it had like the year, they were age cigars. Yeah.

Little tiny ones though, nice, like I was never, I'm a ringgage whore, but those little tiny ones I like. Well, that's, you know what those are? Those are just wine fridurators. Yeah. They just converted wine fridurators into Pima doorkas. So DJ Lee Eulis and me. Burgess walked up that side with shirtless with a corgi on his back and a pizza and a film crew and now he's in here having gentlemen speak with Bobby about their cigars. Can I just say this? Jay can I say this? Yes Bobby please. Yes keep on some music please. I would go with this. Jay there's no there's no pizza or corgi

I don't know with oh no, there's a live animal not here, and I don't know what you do with it I've had a I've had an influencer day It's okay. It's okay. It's the corgi's like I don't the corgi is like a millionaire or it's like it's really like it's like pop It's a it's a famous corgi. Well being an influencer myself As everybody knows I'm a, Bobby is an influencer. But being influencer, I have a shirt that says influencer. Do you have one? I do our shirts, Bobby.

Oh, yes, right. It's my thing. It's kind of my thing. It's kind of my thing. It's kind of my thing. It's kind of my thing. You have a shirt that's, no. I don't.

Just stop before you get anything. I don't have that. I tell you what, I get so much anxiety about shirts. Like when people go, how are you going to come to this event and, you know, wear something nice? I get so much anxiety about shirts. Like when people go, hey, you're gonna come to this event and you know, wear something nice, I get so much anxiety because I'm still very fat and college shirts don't fit right. They fit like, I just don't look right.

You're more comfortable shirtless. I got way more comfortable shirtless. It's so interesting to meet, but I'll tell you buddy, if we go fully loaded 2024, if there's a Zampik kicks in, I'll be right there with you, do you sure? Are you doing a Zampik? Yeah, I know a guy doing a Zampik. Yeah, I do a podcast with a guy doing a Zampik.

Tom Siger, we all speculated. Tom, there's a Zampik? We all speculated it. We all speculated it. Yeah, there is no way you fucking, you think he'd at 47, he decided that doesn't. I'm tired of this body, I'm living in and I want to change. Well, at 52 I had half my stomach taken out to change. Well, I at 52, I had

half my stomach taken out. Yeah, no, that's where we're at. We're not we're not making lifestyle changes here. Yeah, we're not doing David Gorgon shit. David Goggins. Goggins, whatever's niggas. I can I can get into that halfway. Like I'm I'm on steroids right now. When I'm David Shaqt David, he's a duke's point. You know, David Goggins is a ex-Navy seal who lived with this guy named Jesse Itzler And Jesse Itzler wrote a book called living with a Navy seal and he changed Jesse's life Jesse now owns the Atlanta Hawks his wife started spanks shot at the Sarah Blakely But Rogan got a hold of the book and had a Jesse on and then had David Goggins on and then gave David Goggins is a real mother fucker He was overweight and he just cited fuck it one day. I'll change.

Don't be a bitch. Come here in a bitch. So let's get it full. Yeah, he jumps in a lake with his hands and feet tied and swims across. Yeah, he's Joe Rogan. What if wife that must be? He's like, Charlton Heston said what?

Get him on the show next week. Like whoever says anything, he just have them on the show in the next week. Charlton Heston's dead too. That's a good one. Yeah, Charlton had the lady that was, we were really close friends with, lived above us. She was Charleston Heston's personal assistant.

Get the fuck out of here. Crazy, and then one day, this is the only story I really remember for her, her name was Emma. And she tripped with a pen in her mouth. Fuck the fuck. And it went into her brain, in through her nasal, and they had to like take it,

like she had an amount of like running to get something and went, and, and they had to like take it, like she had it around, like she was running to get something and went, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, No, I did a thing on Instagram. Can you whistle and 14% of the people said I cannot whistle you you can whistle I can whistle a lot. I'm Florida. I'm actually a professional whistle. Hold on. You're joking. You're joking Yeah, I'm not I met a dude who said that and I mocked him well. I am joking, but I'm not hold on I'm awesome. You know you're gonna get raked over the coals for that one hold on Actually a professional wing suitor dude. I know a professional wing shooter, so I'm gonna challenge you on this.

Fuck, I'm not that. These guys, these Gabe weren't close to Rika and I start saying, can you guys whistle? Am I getting two drinks? One's water. Okay. I might want to over. Yeah, just in case.

Wow, Christine, you just got judged. You just think that a fire breaks out. So yeah. So he says, and it can't fire. And he goes, I said, it's not about whistling. He goes, I'm a professional whistler. And I started making fun of him. As you showed. And then he went on to whistle the most beautiful song,

like four mocking birds fucking. It was so beautiful. And we were like, shut the fuck up. And then I've talked about this guy a lot. So then we go to do a show and poisey Idaho and I go This is the professional whistler and he's like you're making me nervous. Let me get a drink and I'm ready and then he banged out just Like the fucking coolest whistle I'm better like this. Let's sing a song together

I'm gonna like this. Let's think of something together, ready? The fuck is the show of a crewman? It's your real thoughts about June Teeth All right, you got rid of everybody. Okay. What do you think about this June Teeth bullshit? Try try was a little bit new teeth, what do you think about this June teeth bullshit try try was a new teeth I bet you can do it new teeth. Yeah, we see hang on Yeah, let me do this again We need to get new teeth yeah, six and eight new teeth. Yeah, they look good. Yeah, it's a great job. They don't look like fucking fake teeth right thank God I've seen some people to get fake teeth and then you're like

Oh, Tracy Morgan remember you guys fake teeth. I don't talk about about Oh, yeah, it's my god. Do you ever see did you see the new I'm waiting for the time when he corners me in a comedy club and does the beat me up. Yo, fuck, what's up with you? He lost those memories in the accident. I'm a fucker this is my new... You accept the birdie goes, you look familiar. Yeah.

What do I hate you on? Do I love you? I don't know, your teeth look familiar. My baby smells my fingers. I've been a fuck my wife before I leave the house. It reminds of my son that way to smell the booty get me home. I love him I mean enough not really. Yeah, I mean I don't love him. I love my wife Let me say this if he sees me I like him. Let me say this if he sees me

He goes what's up big J and I in my mind. I don't know I'm enough that I still go nice Yeah, do you know why you just ran into who Tim read from TV's WKRP in Cincinnati Venus flytrap? No, I'm gonna let you two more guesses Okay, do Lee Hill from psych nope I hate to jump on the same thing, but Howard Hesseman, Dr. Johnny Fever from TV's WKR. You guys are so fucking close. Mr. Carlson, who was also bicecopeed who raped Arnold in Dudley in different strokes. Can I tell you I met Arnold? I met, uh, that guy, the little guy. Gary Coleman.

I met him and I said, I was shirtless. And we were in my green room and I said, can I tell you one of my favorite episodes was the one where you got molested? Yeah, and he was like, that was your favorite. I was just, I was just meant like, that's what I remember the most. But what do you say? Yeah, I was like the one.

Remember the one you got diddled? That one really. He didn't got to me. It was just to be clear. He didn't get molested, Dudley got molested. Dudley got molested. Dusted, he went to work on them. You know what's crazy?

So we watched everybody out. We watched parts of this episode recently on Legion of Skanks. We're talking about bicycle Pete episode This is how different the times were then after he has already showed them pictures are on Dudley of Him and other people naked and saying they're having sex and stuff then gets their shirts off and they're playing right. They're still laugh, laugh track jokes in the scene. It doesn't stay serious. While they're shirtless in this guy's house, they still have a couple of lines to get like the audience laughter.

Jay, Jay, Jay, funny is funny. I will kill your parents, Sam. That's a different varies, but that whole thing was not fitting in me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Did you know you do look good? Thank you. Hey Jay mean either Me neither You ever tell a story to someone and halfway this story realize you were molested I did that because Lauren teen really like what did some guy just fucking stay over? Said he was your mom's friend and pick you up from school. Oh my god We were running a half marathon in Sarah's soda. He finally elested running.

We were running and we were talking about how it's come finally fall out. Ha ha ha. My story's not as good as that. Ha ha ha. What happened? No, we were just running and we were talking about concussions and I said, yeah, I've had a lot.

He was like, really? I said, he's like, what's the worst one? I said, I have one so bad. They had to let me sleep with the priests and they had to check my testicles every 30 minutes. But he just, and he stopped running, and he goes, wait, what? And I'm still running and I look by him,

and I go, yeah, they had to check my testicles every 30 minutes. And then Gavin from Calhade show stopped running. And I was like, what? And they're like, I think you're molested. And I go, no, no, no, that's how they check for concussions. And as I said that I went, I've done something they'd have to do.

Nope. But I never questioned it. I never. Your testicles are connected to... Was it Larry Nasser? The Olympic god, that was his move. No, and so, and they were like, I think you're molested. And I was like, no, no, no, no.

And then I've told other stories where I, like I was telling one of the kids when they weren't going outside and playing. And I was like, you know, you got to need to get outside and fucking play. When I was a kid, the big kids, they came up and they just were like, hey, you got to the count of 10, we're gonna hunt you.

And we're like, we don't wanna be hunted. And they were like, 10, nine. And then George and George are gonna go, what happens if they caught you? And just real casually, I go, they put ice cubes up your asshole. And she was, they were like, everyone in the table was like, huh? I'm like, yeah, they held you down and they shoved ice cubes up your asshole.

And they were like, what do you mean? I was like, just, you know, like, kids stuff. If you don't put ice cubes in your asshole, it's gonna hurt when they put their penises. Yeah, you've got to numb it up. Wait, you got no, I just stinkly remember watching them do it to this dude. And just being like, I need to get the fuck out of here. Get to numb it up. No, no, no how to say something good about Florida. Oh Tits you can't say gay. That's pretty chill. Mike. My call does down there. Yeah, my call is down there. He says gay But he definitely does say gay. Well, you can't say game Florida. No, that's the the boiled down story of it But I think I sort of agree with it like you really don't need to talk about gay or anything with people up to third grade or something like that.

They were saying, that's fine. Let's talk about that next month. Did you see the boozy clip? The what? Boozy bad ass. What's that? He's just like, I don't know, I won't say it then. No, it's all that I can see it either.

I mean, I'm sure I saw the headline on World Star. No, it's, it's, he just got posted yesterday and it's all that I can see it either. I mean, I'm sure I saw the headline on World Star. No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it'szey. He's a boozey. I mean, one of the funniest things ever was, who was I'm gonna make sure I give credit to the right person. DeBaby? Was that the one? DeBaby, I know who. DeBaby who is like, that one of his concerts,

he was like, if you got some stuff, put your light, it's in the air. He's like, if you ain't gay, put your light, it's in the air. Something like just like that, like stupid anyway, and then they got mad at him for that. Oh, he goes, if you ain't out there, having sex with men getting AIDS, put your light, it's in the airs. Something like just like that like stupid anyway and they got mad at him for that. Oh yeah, it goes, if you ain't out there having sex with men getting AIDS, put your ladders in the air. And then when his first apology was so fun, you tell us like a not smart

guy at all. Yeah. And they go, you got to apologize. But they didn't really, they should've also told him what he has to apologize for. Because when he first apologized you for your remember was like, look, I want to say I'm sorry because I know I've gave fans and I've found them. My gave fans don't have AIDS. That was this thing. They don't have AIDS. So I'm talking to the AIDS people. And then you come back and be like, you know, what I just found out that all gay people don't have AIDS. And some of my fans do have AIDS. So, uh, I kind of, you know, I'm like, I'm not, I don't, I don't, I, okay, it's helped me figure out what this is because I, obviously, I'm not homophobic. I want everyone to live the life that they want to live.

But there is like a weird thing. What I was watching ESPN one time, and they were interviewing some defensive back, and he's just like, like, what do you think about homosexuality? And he's like, it's a sin. They should all go to hell and he's on the SPN. There's a weird thing as a viewer, we're like, shut the fuck up!

You're like a gambling scene! Yeah, it's like Tyson biting off Holyfield's ear. Yeah, like what I was paid for, I go, the greatest thing that's ever happened on television. Fuck! You don't, like, cause you don't agree with what he's saying, but when you hear him say it, like, you're a little climp-portist, they when you hear him say it like you're a Clinton Portis

They're like what do you think about my Michael Vicks dog fight? You know shit ain't about a dog fight Clinton Portis is the best I'm sure I remember what Clinton Portis is this one the vodka now that one is This is DJ is the DJ Lou mixer I hope you like lemon. Oh, can I my knife back? You don't do you need it? It's not as strong as Jacob's knife. We're gonna cut a lemon Bob. Are you ready? I was at the the infidel I don't know what this is. I think it's an infidel

You know, I know it's a microtech. Yeah, I have one of those two. What's his name sir? I'll give you that He also gave me one that says trump 2024 on it I guess we've hit the nice and nice thing on sporting equipment error of the show. What did you say? Those hats those make America great in hats are the best fitting hats I've ever put on I swear to God nothing fits better than a bag of hat where the guy it feels See what you look at the man's balls. I'm not throwing that. I'm not sick as a hat.

I have a big head. I have a big head. And we went and played at Trump National. And they were like, they were like, can we get a picture? And I was like, yeah. And they pull out one of the hats, the red hat. Yeah.

And they give it to me. I go, bro, I can't fucking wear that. And they're like, come on, just take a picture. And I go, man, I'm going to get, I go, I'm getting so much trouble just putting on the fucking hat. And he's like, all right, he's what we'll keep it anyway. So we take the picture and then I put it on, I have a big head and it fits beautifully.

And it's like, no, it's not, it's a snapback. And I had like three snaps left. And so I went in and I said, they all felt like this. And he goes, yeah, I go loaded up on every color Enough another have you seen Trump's head. He's got a big fucking head. He's got one of the biggest heads in America Dude, I got so much Trump shit Because we used to go on the road We used to go on the road during the pandemic and they'd have like Trump flags like that is like when Trump was winning And they and I just we and you could buy them and it was almost like

I mean I hate it was like my Nazi memorabilia like fucking let's get it So get the shit out of it just have it we at least and my and our bus driver was black He fucking hated it and so we put it up we put up the Trump everything everywhere one time I came home What I make a new team everybody I put I put the Trump did they Juneteenth everybody. I put the truck. I'm gonna do the one Nazi stuff. I put I won Oh, no, it's my bonk off decked out You guys got me wrapped in upside down crosses and swastikas So I put I put I'd come home from the road and I put the Trump 2020 or 2020 or whatever on the mantle and I and for girls, and they came home and the girls,

and Leanne and the girls lost their fucking mind. Get that down, get that down. Why? Forget that I have it up. Right? I don't take it down my life, and then I just forget that I have it up, and I'm watching Monday Night Football, and I start fucking Instagramming live,

the Monday Night Football, and all in it, when it sees this, the Trump 2022 flag on the fucking mantle. And they're like, that's what American does. And I was like, Oh, fuck, I had to delete all the videos. You're going to get you accidentally dog whistle. The people you weren't trying to really. Like, that's what I'm talking about.

It really is like, because I remember I bought a few things to when he was running. I'm like, I, this before even one, I got the pen. Where he punches you get the, I got the mask. I got the mask and I got the, the doll where he was running. I'm like, this is before even one. I got the pen-wary punches. You got the mask. I got the mask and I got the doll where he says, Trump shit. And I got the pen-wary says, Trump shit too. Like, make America a greater girl and, you know, let's do this.

Make America a better capital. Yeah, it feels like when you guys hit your 50s, you just realize like, man, we're all white races, I guess. Yeah. I had the hats, I had about a ton of hats, and I just, I didn't even, you know, I still have the hats and I had them on top of my hats, and the people that clean our house are per people of color, not people of color, but lighter color, but you know what I mean? Colored people.

Nope. Nope, you can't say that. You can't say I'm not that bad one. Yeah, that's all bad Yeah, they're just Mexican Not that either J. I learned all my mergers. I only watched the first hour of America's 3x. Why does it change? It changes it changes to something else towards yet What happens after that? Well well it has a story arc okay it comes back around yeah so it's not so I've been wasting my time trying to get me and all of my white skinhead friends to get enough of basketball to win the court back yeah yeah yeah the end of it

they all kind of come together the the over here the British comedians joke he goes I know I'll answer already now I haven't I Shut up. He shouldn't let's listen. I was five minutes late. What did the Jews do to Jesus? So I like it. I like that joke where the kid has what's his name? She he goes I want to date a black girl so bad is from the South It was I wanted to get a black girl so bad. I just got away from my grandfather to die Daniel Tos gave me a joke. I had a joke about one day to Black tick.

And he goes, you should open it with, I've always wanted the day to Black tick. Just as long as she's never had sex with a Black guy. I never told it. Guys, it's Juneteenth. Is it really Juneteenth? It's, yeah, yeah. Right now?

No, no, no, no. Monday. It's Juno, fuck. Let's get it out of our system, that's Jun 12. Yeah. Is it really Juneteenth? Right now? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It sounds like a joke of a black mistake of speaking You know, yeah, it's like a wagon. Hey, bear it. Why come you always say it's like that I used to have a joke with a white comment it. Yeah me too. It's a good one grandma. Mom. Why come what I used to be joke about me Day in the black Joe same joke. It's funny to say that black people say things wrong Bobby What do you talk about when you smoke these cigars? What do you want to take? Yeah, I've had one of my favorite girlfriends was Debbie, black girl. I'm black only Debbie. Yeah, man. She's a nurse. It's a fat old white lady. It's not fat. It's like a dog in a box. Yeah. Did she bring her blacker friend bar about?

My first girl was Janine McKay. My first girlfriend ever in six great. Janine McKay was black? Yeah, Janine McKay. But it was spelled with 15 ends. Jesus, no. I don't believe all black women are names that a flavorflave gave them.

This girl's name is Jennifer. Seven years. Wait, you did it a bike check right? No, I laid out a few though, you know I was I was my wink Lou Yeah, I looked up a few times yeah, but no, I never Did it really I was a blue box check, but if I tell you the black chick you can you bleep out a name if I say it? No, but I can't remember her name right now, but if you say it, Whitney Houston.

No, no, you know my Whitney Houston story, right? Her name is shit. Yeah, her name is, be for Hudson. Bird, let me just say something about Bird though. I have like eight stories. Bird has, if I say Whitney, you know my Whitney Houston story. Who is a Whitney Houston story?

Bobby Brown. Bobby Brown. She, George Brooker T. you know my wedding who's a Whitney Houston story Bobby Brown she George Brooker teeth and broker jaw and we had to put her under and and it's really expensive down you said under put it we put her down how much she's she's close so sorry pillow the face and so it's, I'm now I'm telling it the way Leant tells the story because Leant buries the lead and says it's Whitney Houston. So I was crying.

I was upset I go to the waiting room. I'm still crying. There's this black check. It's now we all know it's Whitney Houston. She's trying to calm me down. I'm crying so hard. I can't even see who it is. And I'm just, I'm like, I'm in my head.

I thought George is, I'm worried about my daughter. We get time. We grab George and we go to this receiving room and and Lance holding George just got cause of her mouth. I'm stopped crying and then Whitney Houston walks in. He puts her hand on my arm and goes it's tough being a daddy. I said yes he goes it never stops and then she says that with George I'm Lee Ann. She says if you excuse me I gotta get my methadone shot. No she's that with us for like 10 minutes she looked beautiful. Yeah beautiful. This is bodyguard with me.

No, this is 2006 Whitney. Okay. And so in between Mechankrack and she was a sweet spot for her. Her teeth look she looks so good. She looks so fucking good. And then she saw with us for like 10 minutes and Told she's like I'm a big fan of comedy and I was like And then I was like, nah, she didn't say that. And so, I was like, I was gonna wait for you to finish the story and say, I don't believe any of that.

Yeah, what the fuck? No, you can't do that to comics. And no, that's when she died, Tom was like, you can say that she said anything to you. Cause no one can check it. It's true. And she said, I said, does Bobby cry? And she was like, Bobby cries.

And then she went in to get her teeth done in the I anesthesiologist who had put down put under Georgia Jesus Christ said to Whitney Houston. He goes where's Kevin Costner and she goes put me on the motherfucker And then we went out to pay and they're like Whitney Houston paid for your anesthesiologist Give me that money at time really what do you Houston? Have you ever seen her sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl? Yes. Yes. Fuckin'. Shit. I remember the fucking stupid question is that, that's for you. That's for touricles,

how, right? You've seen it, right? You know the world? Yes! Okay, okay. I don't know. It is a, I mean, it's a lot of people seeing it. Well, yeah, everyone is still 100% of people seeing it. It's like, I'm just bound it. If you're in Peru, that'd be a dumb question. Wait, have you guys seen it? Yes, every, we're Americans. 30 years ago. That's insane. Wait, have you seen it?

No, you haven't seen it. I know you haven't. Hey, oh, oh, hey, Jacob, did you, 9-11, you're familiar, right? No, it was a little thing that happened back in the 2000s. No, you don't, if I'm bringing the bell. Look at this. Well, so did you know she's lip syncing? Yeah. No, that was a little thing happened back in the 2000. No, you don't I'm bringing the bell. Yeah, look at this Also, did you know she's lip syncing? Yeah, no, that's not true. This is not her really singing Well, thanks for ruining everything. Oh, did you also know she's a sweating because she's fiending? Hard is it really? Yeah, she did sweat a lot. Yeah, but you but we do too. Otherwise, she's wearing junkie clothes and fairness of the whole thing

but but not as much as that Is she sweating pretty bad? You have to look at her jaw twitching She looks pretty man. You think she didn't do coke before this. She's very pretty man I think she did too much. You're gonna do a bump That's when you do it. I Actually, I come out of sobriety to do a bump with Whitney. would you who would you drink with if they wanted to have a drink with you? I Kevin Costner I think it's a different heart cap for now What were you Kevin Costner if you want to go to shake if you want to go to the money?

I want you to have a chance with me if Kevin Costner was yeah, why you say why why why you get that face on why Kevin? It's just so I know who's yours. He's so not so little but I don't know who would you do coke with like I there's not a lot of people I do coke with and I'm turned down some big fucking names Why don't you like Kevin constantly you don't like America? By the way, I don't want to tell you stories Bert I don't know what the confusion was in the conversation. We must have had bird to the pool is that podcast He was long Christine where you were telling a story and he goes Something there was pills and like and then Jay big Jay was like now I have like a bit of a pill addiction problem actually what

100% Yeah, it's bizarre when did I say that on some podcast? I remember I gotta be honest with you. I gotta be honest with you. I would never listen to anything. I ever say ever Because I don't make me mad at all. I just like, I'm just something. I'm like, maybe misunderstood story. I guarantee you, I miss speak a lot where I'll say I'll start pills today, but they're like pine barks extra. Like six stuff, so I don't die. I don't know. I'll start a story and then I'll change stories in the middle.

People will get confused. I was telling my dad, I was saying that Leanne's getting older, right? My dad's also a hard to hearing, he's getting older. But it turned into the plot of Maverick Top Gun Part 2. No, no, no. No, and then I started looking at our dog Mona, who's really old, and I go, fuck. I'm still talking to my dad. I think some talk about Leanne, I go,

I go, God, is it bad if you just kill them and they're not sick? He was like, he's like, easy, buddy. We don't get old, and I was like, no, it's like easy buddy, we don't get old and I was like no, it's like that. She's out of it and he's like she's out of it And he goes, what did this happen? I go last six months? I mean I walked in the other day She's just standing in living room. Dunno where she is can't hear out of one ear I can't see out of one eye he goes, what? I go, yeah, she can't see out of one eye and he goes, what the fuck? I go, dad, I walked in and she was licking the inside of the fireplace and he's like, Are you fucking kidding me? Dad just goes over and shoot your wife. I took care of it, son.

Don't worry. I hated it before you, my baby boy. I got it, baby. I buried in the backyard. So I would never listen to anything I ever say on any podcast ever. I don't even know. I was just, I was just assuming it was something that's misheard of, like, but he just goes, Big J has like, I got a little bit of a pill addiction problem.

What? I do. I would never say that about you because you handle your pills perfect. I'm really good with my pills. Oh, damn it. That's fine. We have a fun show today. Unfortunately, I have to leave.

No. Unfortunately, I have to leave. Yeah, we're kicking you up. Jim Norton was supposed to be here with us. Unfortunately, what happened? He just didn't come. He, he He apparently he writes his stuff down on paper with a pencil. And he wrote the wrong dates down in pencil on

a piece of paper. Let me say that again. This guy has a million has a penthouse in a BMW and iPad and a brand new phone. He writes down in pencil ipad is it can't bobby what can't dial back that far from bmw the next thing he has is an ipad yeah what do you mean i don't know that was crazy the house man that's got an ipad bmw an mp3 player i think he's got a zoon ipad is fucking top notch they just came over the brand new one b Bamiya. What? It's, and I've had the best one cost less than a monthly payment of a BMW. Okay, dude. I didn't know money bags was in the room, but money was out there. Why didn't you say like, I'm not.

He's in the Russian T-room. No, so he's got sunglasses. No, so he's got sunglasses. Let's see. I don't want to Sony Walkman. I don't fucking sell. Did you guys see him do a thumbs up? It's out of this world. Let me do it again. Let don't fuck his up. Did you guys see him do a thumbs up? It's out of this world.

Let me do it again. Let me try again. He has a penthouse apartment. Yeah. He has his own train. That's false also. He's a stuffed boob. He's a train in his house.

No, he has a little job. I'll try it again. Okay. He has a 57 inch screen plasma television. He's got a sectional couch. A 57 inch screen plasma television He's got a sectional couch Wait, I got it Jim Norton has a penthouse apartment a brand new Tivo in every room. Okay Now we're talking you know you can stop and pause the live TV with that

Yeah, he canceled on us poor T. What that fresh fresh guy. He's doing gut felt. What's that? It's an alt-right show on Fox News. Oh. Oh. He's doing a show. He's doing the show. It's right next door, but it starts at six. He's got to be there at five.

What is the bad news? There's no bad news. He's not going to be here. He hates trends. So he wouldn't come. I think he said trains. You know what we're doing today, right? Do you know what's happening today?

We told you that we're having yes, I do know yes, I do know Yes, I do know when is this happened this is happening in about 20 minutes. Yeah, 20 minutes As a sound so we're gonna do a with Jim was supposed to be here it was all kind of a right Jim was pride month and we're gonna do uh... gp2 qpi who's it who is it is a beli j no

oh fuck no it's uh... it's uh... but similarly not large penis beli j has a really nice beli j has a nice cock you're crazy yeah yeah nice beli j is pretty fucking hot she's hot and she's got a big cock you're crazy. Yeah, oh my god. Nice. Billy. James pretty fucking hot

She's hot and she's got a big piece doesn't look better than it tastes. Yes. Nice. Wait a minute. You tricked me. I did no Do it to me. Do it to me. Probably so gay Does it look better than it is? It feels good. It feels good. It's gonna make me trick me too. Does it feel better or smell better? Smells better. The model is got here. Okay. Yeah, she's very beautiful. Is that her? Yes Yes, but unfortunately I hear not a huge The model is got here. Okay. Yeah, she's very beautiful. Is that her? Yes. Yes, but unfortunately I hear not a huge cock. I don't care. That's not true. I think I don't know if you want a large cock. If I'm drawn it, if I'm drawn it, come on. Wait a minute. I just went to a big HR meeting Victoria. Would you like to leave the room right now?

Victoria Would you like to leave what your name? What you need Peter would you like to take off right now because we're gonna have nudity in here It'll be sketching nude. It's more of art. It's not sexual. We're gonna be doing minute minute to three minute sketches Where she changes poses and whoever does the best sketch. I'm gonna win a pink. There's no way. Pete, I want to tell you, when you see this beautiful woman walk in, there's gonna be a penis between her legs.

And I want you to know that God doesn't make mistakes. Yes. Okay. He makes unicorns. He makes unicorns. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, very clear if anyone gets a rouse. The co-worses is blue blue. I'll tell you if I get any movement. I'll tell you about it. I think I kind of a movement right now. Bubble of the testosterone. So that might be. Are you taking tea? Oh, dude. I'm jacked. How much tea you take? I'm jacked. I'm jack, Bobby. Well, now what is it? Because everybody's telling

me to take tea now too. Oh, do it. You do on. Hey, you got to give it so I'm gonna give a little some flowers. Ladies and gentlemen, to 50 perfect push-ups. Thank you, man. Thank you, Bernie. You're everyone can suck my dick. You do, I just would like to see anyone do a moderate amount of push-ups is still fucking impossible. Thank you, Bernie.

You killed it You killed it and I hate when people go just don't I've gotten the comments. I'm gonna pull push-up Both fucking let me see you do something sit. I want you mother fucker. I read your comment I want you to I only read comments about videos. I'm not in sure And I've got burned to they're like I know words in these comments Damn it. How did you know that burn his shop? So so I got, I get in the comments and then there's one guy who's like, he's like, bugs up being honest with himself.

And then I wanted to go like, you need to be honest with yourself. I think if you take one second and look around your room or your basement within your mom's house, you would realize you're not being honest with yourself, how dare you, how dare you try to hold Bobby that fucking thing. I was like, these are real push ups. I'm a writer-dive for you, Bobby. Thank you, brother. Thank you very much, Bert.

You did 50 push ups. No, you said they weren't push ups. They were push ups. I didn't say that. You got more shit from, that was Joe Justin and Josh. Well, Josh, not really Justin, just in the back. You know, Joe gave me, Joe gave me shit with doing push ups because my belly hit the ground before,

I can't go further than my belly. And he was like, that's not a real push up. I was like, that's as low as I can go. What do you want me to do? Do them in the beach and I dig in a hole. Those are real push ups. That's up, but look. One.

Do me a favor. Google, Marky Mark, or Mark Wahlberg, and Dr. Oz push ups, okay? Okay, can you go that? Why mark because because these are these are what we're saying Bobby does mark wallberg push up It's the same push up. It's the same push up and doctor Oz does have both have little fucking short Boston arms Very wallberg is the definition of fitness right? Yes, no and watch him. Oh, he's the beautiful man. He's a beautiful man Everyone take out flat chazoo

45 training. Hey Bobby you gonna wake up at two o'clock in the morning go fucking to some pushups with me Look at these same push up right Bobby same push up right look at that same same same same same same same same Except you're not almost getting ready kiss doctor Oz on the mouth mouth Well, I'm not lucky as Marky Mark. Yeah, he's so much push up with the lof's dude. I do push up I work out and batting loves to why? Because I love Mark Walbert What are Mark Walberg's eyes? I He do see retweeted my thing no really. Oh, yeah, I did when we were don't get promote the movie I was calling out celebrities. Yeah, and he had this great video of him just going,

hey, don't pass by this video. Hey, it's two in the morning. I came in and no one's in the gym. What was I gonna do? Getting that comfy guy? He tried to sleep. His impression is not good. It's not good.

It's okay. He's like, hello, this guy. It's not it. And so I did a video and I was like, hey, Mark, don't skip by this video. And then he retweeted it. then he reached out a video for me And was like yo, Bert. I'm bad at accents. He's like I don't might He's like Bert. I know you get the belly cuz you're putting on weight getting ready doing on whatever he did

But you did a video for me. I love Marky Mark or Mark Walbert well I love him. Mark Robert. Well, I love him. He said. You know, we said. I said something about it. Is that near you? He grew up in Dorcia. It's on the other side of Boston near Southeast. Him and his brother Jim Ball. I'm French with the Jim Ball really. Bobby's from the tough side. They were from the fruits dancing around like new addition side. I mean, they did have a lot of boy bands over on that side.

Oh, man, it was boy band city. Lou Perlman kept the boy for every finger in that town. Wait, did you, we even had to do kids on the block? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh be a little Joey McIntyre I'm a Joey McIntyre do you remember? Were you were you with me? We did Tiffany wanted to fuck me. I did no Yeah, hold on you should go on with that. No, you don't remember

Hattish no no, she's hopefully loaded up. Hopefully loaded up Tiffany Tiffany when she was yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Did you ever watch the documentary I told you about with her getting stalked? Someone this documentary following her two stalkers says they stalked Tiffany. Oh, you're so good. I think we're alone now.

It's one of the best documentaries in the world. We interviewed the director one. Me, you, Kurt Metzger. Sebastian Bach, Joey McIntyre, Sherrod Small. Yep. Mike, I know from Leverboy. Mike, you know from Leverboy, we're backstage. We do what we do, the Nevermind Abundance Cox. Also coolio.

Coolio. And Molly, there's a girl named Molly something. She was on it. Molly Shannon, no, no, no, Molly something. Tiffany, I own the same team. And Tiffany says to me me and everyone's kind of might you know so you can hear it she was hey where are you from and I said L.A. She goes we should hang out and I was like okay and then all of a sudden Mark

Marin's like oh fuck Bert's gonna fuck Tiffany so she goes let's switch numbers and when this is over let's hang out in L.A. and I was like okay so we go backstage we like the joint expansion box we're all backstage and cool. Yeah, we got Smokin and Joey McIntyre and they're like, yo, you gonna fuck Tiffany? And I was like, I don't know and Joey McIntyre, we got a fuck Tiffany. She's fucking amazing. I was like really? He's like, I don't I'm not telling you how I know. I'm just saying. Well, she was dated. She dated Jonathan Knight for a long time. And she and she She had just been in playboy. Well, that's what she was there and promote was in a good night for a long time. And she had just been in playboy.

Well that's what she was in and promote was in playboy. So she was all fixed up. And she was hot smoking hot. So, I think she died her bush. Is this I think we're alone now? Yeah. I think we're alone now. I just told you to talk to me about her.

You want to be a documentary about her. And you want to be a documentary about her. Why are you so aggressive? Oh, keep playing, keep playing. I just feel like no one's listening to me. I think I'm not being heard today. I don't think it is. They know feel like no one's listening to me. I think I'm not being heard today They listen they don't document her on Tiffany So what you need?

No, so we're all backstage Sebastian likes to join the off-start smoking and Tiffany comes back and there's quiet and everyone's watching me in her She goes well joe is right senior. It's a bad shit. It's a pleasure meeting you guys take care She walks out and everyone's like oh And then like swing and a miss can't believe that man. You're this close to fucking Tiffany I was like I know all sudden this dude walks in he goes hey Tiffany wanted you to have this gives me her number in the room and he's quiet. He walks out the room goes Did you have this? Gives me your number in the room and he's quiet.

He walks out the room and goes, BOOM! It was fucking me! You're fucking Jimmy! Did you hang out with her ever? I got pregnant. We, uh, she's a weirdo. No.

I didn't find out to fly the stairs. The, uh, I think your teeth look great, too. Thank you. Yeah, any leader men is their daughter. What a great song this was. Um no she looked amazing she we I interviewed her not too long ago either I think me and Ralph I did a girl who dressed like this is one Madonna remember the mesh shirt and the yoga pants and the ripped Yes big hair Yeah And the girls were dressing like Madonna was a good time. It wasn't a bad time. Yeah.

Turned you get away into the night. The picture arms are around me and we tumble to the ground and then we say, Pick your alone now. Look at how it doesn't seem to be any longer. Actually, a funny story in the documentary. I think we're a learn now. I think we're a low now. I think we're low now one of our stalkers is a Translating and speaking of translated we have a beautiful

Translating coming in coming in here. Hey, what's the best? Okay, my dog you Best girl girl song. I love this best girl song I'm out and like a girl band or a girl song from what time I've been ever can I tell you can I tell you my favorite song this means showing up in my life a lot Yeah, it's a girl that came out the roast capture Okay, no The go goes

What song what's the song where they go? Uh, what's the gogos song? Vacation? No. Keep going. We got the beat. No, keep going. No, nope, nope. It's a good song.

All lips are sealed. Can you play it? Can you play it? Oh my god. Give me another drink. Damn, I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. I'm just gonna take all my shirt off halfway. I'm gonna take all these headsets.

Now you can totally... Sing it. We're gonna sing it for the first time. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it.

Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. I This is they were both this on tour her and another guy say we're fucking and everyone was talking about them fucking and they wrote a acoustic and it is And they're like what I gotta say we're fucking

Arleps are sealed. She Quietly hottest go-go could have been Jane Jane wheeled and blended a car like Alzo Carles so she still so fucking she also went back and did a playboy heavy air brush though, but full-bush She lost a lot of weight too. She did a zepic pack before I get another little shot of this before the Remember before we get the best part of the song is coming up. Remember Connie Wilson Remember she lost all the weight did playboy real quick and then gained all of the way to meet Lee Beck. Fucking gangster. Karnie Wilson? Yeah, she just lost weight to show her stutter and then dipped out.

What about Hart who gained the weight and never lost it? Yeah, she just lived that way. So I just performed therapy. Yeah, so the lead singer of Hart just kept it. Her feet are round, but man, because she pumped out a song. I'm on that program right now. What, we're seeing the weight and leave it. Leave it, you're done.

Fuck it, leave it. We're right here. I'm in love with my now. Where we're seeing the wait and leave it. Leave it, you're done. Fuck it, leave it. We're right here. We're not here. I'm in love with my wife. We fuck pretty good. Yeah. You got high tea. I make money.

Get tea. People like me fat. You kids are old enough. Yeah. Would it want to be 80? Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh. This is the best part, right? When they bring it back, you can hear it come back.

I love you guys what kind of music is this beach music? yeah 80s beach ship come on Jay. In the jealous games people play. Guess what? Arleps are sealed. If something happens with this trance model. If something happens with this trance model,

I want you guys to know. Guess what? Hey, yeah. Arleps are sealed. I'm gonna use that on birth though the whole time. Hey, yeah I'm gonna use it on birth though the whole time It's been jail milk we could pay for that. I'll be like we and We have the not even on the Mount Rushmore of- Ooooo Not even the best go-go song. It's a good one.

That one we just played? Vacations, better song. Let me hear it. Vacation? Yeah. Everyone I remember- I remember the show. Everyone remembers the sort of shitty chorus but the verses of that song are- Can you put the lyrics up on the screen when you play this?

Oh this is fucking... I love the drums. Definitely beat shit music. And this is boy drums right here. I don't think I need that slagit. Alright. Yeah, I like it. I like it hitting any of the beat.

I don't like it. He's on a symbol. Back here at home is what I want to do. a symbol. Great life. I'm impressed. Bob Bob. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great life. Great we go. Come on, Bobby. That's hitting you a little. A little bit. I'll see you in my city with my body. I'll know you, yeah.

Make it easy, my love. I'll never want to. Drop this down for a second Mount Rushmore girl song for sure Not them trying to think I mean what's going on is pretty good oh no no no no no no no no no no ready ready and I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna lose some fans right now Because your redneck remade it and it does not work the same Fast cars Tracy Chapman oh yeah a redneck made it remade it and it's like and it's just not it's not the same What's the girl with the dumb hat the big

Hold on hold on hold on hold on you think of the Pope no You think of the what no No, you think of what's going on for non bonds That's a great that's a great yeah my Madonna's got to have one for sure Madonna, yeah, definitely that depends for Atlanta smart set with oh when she comes when the guy comes in her mouth and movie theater Oh, you have bicycle people why did you say guy comes in her mouth and movie there is that with that songs about I don't know I don't know she takes it that far No, you remember when you blew a load my mouth. I don't think she says that. There's Dave Kuehye, dude. She sucked off Dave Kuehye's guitar. No, it's Ryan Reynolds.

It's Ryan Reynolds. There's Dave Kuehye. She fucked both of them. Yeah, but it was Dave Kuehye's thought for that song to come out. So wait, we have to take a break, we have to break for sure. We have to go to commercial. It's fine. Yeah, we're ready to show. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates.

Coming to a city near you. Go on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on. I stepped on your crackle crackle. I stink.