The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - White Boy Summer

Episode Date: March 30, 2021

The Bonfire's favorite white rapper the one and only Chet Hanks drops a new video laying out some rules for what he has deemed "White Boy Summer".Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com#CrackleCrackle

It's Dan Soder and Big J. Oakerson. Welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning, Tuesday through Friday. If you want more Bonfire, you can always hear our full show every day on Series XM. You can go to seriousexam.com slash Bonfire for a special three month offer. The Bonfire! A real big bonfire context that before our next subject, which we have to give bonfire context to, is the Academy Award winner Tom Hanks has a son named Chet Hanks and one of the first episodes of the bonfire in our first year

Jay told me about chit-hanks which I was completely unaware of in his music career But the reason we were blown away was because we found out that Tom Hanks has a son who is a white rapper and then You know we did that episode and then we became chathanks fans wanting him to get on the show. And now he's back and he's giving spring break advice. He's giving summer advice. It's where yeah, he's just. I want to go video article. Well go with the first video with him being like it's going to be a white boy summer because I've listened.

I had to go early this morning. It tested in like the Uber driver was listening to morning radio. He was like jumping from morning radio to morning radio and they brought this up and I'm like, Jen Hanks is our topic. You guys think that's all we talked about him on that bonfire. Yeah, so. Well, people have been looking for reasons for us to talk about Jen Hanks again. We had the obviously the Jamaican thing was good. For the most part, he's been sort of laying low. He was just in a show. He was in that your honor show, which was a good show. And not that he was necessarily good at anything. He didn't really do much other than run around. But the guy's cock

shore. You got to give him that. Yeah. The guy, uh, like, hawkshore. But now I said, people are just like tweeting at us. Ridiculous. Or DMing me about, like, you know, please talk about this. Like it's, I think he's just, he's feeling good about life right now. Well, he's lined up, you know, he's got a good haircut. Got a shit tightened up for sure. Shit tight looks like a fucking white point guard

at a Catholic school. Let's watch this video. Hey guys, look, I just wanted to tap in really quick. I just got this feeling man. That this summer is a. It's about to be a white boy summer. You know, take it how you want. I'm not talking about like Trump, you know, NASCAR type white. I'm talking about, you know, do you hear that? You know, me, John B. Jack Harlow type white boy summer. You know, I mean, let me know if you guys can vibe with that. He's like white boys summer, you know, hip hop. Big dick struggle. Yeah, he goes white boy summer. You know what I mean?

Getting your dad's boat and just not worrying about stuff, never ever knowing how much rent costs. You know, a real white boy summer. Just having enough money to have the COVID vaccine before everyone. Like, I don't want to know the benefits that this guy has had being Tom Hanks's son. The first line of the article on pop dust says years from now,

if he announces that his internet persona has all been a social experiment, I would rush to believe it because the alternate is accepting that for reasons unknown, he's just like this. Yeah, that's a brutal first sentence in an article about you. Yeah. I mean, you know, we've been amazed by Chet Hanks for some time now. It's he's got a confidence that is who's Jack Harlow? Oh, he's a rapper. Who's just on SNL? A white rapper? Yeah.

He was on last week. Yeah, I did. I should do we should do our own white boy summer where we're like we're talking white boy summer and I'm not talking about good looking guys who take their shirts off I'm talking about men who swim in their t-shirts. Yeah, I'm a ski no spray Yeah, just make it real dorky Loaded up on sunscreen who wear life Life jackets who wear floaties, you know what I mean?

Talk about. Can I tap in for a second? Please. Yeah. I don't understand this guy. Look, this is why people shouldn't have access to a phone, man. Yeah. I cannot, the amount of stupid things I would do if I just thought I should,

I should tape myself right now and upload it to the world But I know what you do. Yeah, you it's not your personality at all It's not my either. It's not But I mean sometimes you're Some you have stupid moments in your in your life. It's never dawn on me to tape them. Oh, yeah I guess I'm saying that is I guess that is a good thing. Yeah, but he's not a, I don't get other people. He's nothing, he's acting like an ass.

Do you know, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He legit doesn't care because he's just being rich, Chek Hankson. So all this hatred coming at him. He's like, fuck you. He just can't care because he's got friends. He bangs chicks and he's got a bottomless pit of money from his family. His family has set him up. He's not going to let him. Oh my God. I bet he hates. I'm sure Tom Hanks thinks he's a ridiculous idiot, his son, but like he'll be set up for life Since a child they got his like a 10th birthday present was points on castaway He's like yeah girl. I'm always taking care of All the express paid for my new veneers, you know, it's gonna be great in the 25 years when DJ Khaled sons like suing his dad for

Back royalties owed for things that he's produced when he was a baby. Well, I'm saying you didn't really actually do anything. It was a gesture. He goes gesture not executive produced by. I'm in the credits. You owe me the money. I own the masters of that album. This is a simple process pops. You give me the money that I own the masters of that album. This is a simple process, pops. You give me the money that I deserve for producing that album when I was six months old. When you have greatness, when you have like a very great person at something, the kid is always going to be lesser than, but what makes it even bigger is when they try to go in the same field, Colin

Hanks did a great job. When we've talked about this, he did a great job, he directs, he's done, you know, he's a good actor, he's just really gotten into it. And yeah, now he's making films. You knew this was coming if you're Tom Hanks. Yeah, I know what you're saying. Like Kevin Hart's kids may have a problem with that.

Is a bellow could be a more important nurse than I am a commenter. She Is a bellow could be a more important nurse than I am a comic. She's gonna be an optometrist. That one was important. So you were going to the back room of a lens crafters and probably be more important to society. Yeah, dad, well, I was a four-time chain manager at Chase Bank. And I'm like, fuck you and you're like, God, you really good.

That's really, you want better for your children Then you that's the one thing that people will talk about having shitty parents is it makes you feel better when you get past them Because it's clear when you get past them. You're like all right I'm doing a little bit better than the last but that's the pressure that shit I'm wondering if it's the pressure that Cheat Hanks feels from being Tom Hanks's son, that you have to do something great so he's like, watch me go completely sideways. And he just gets Yakuza tattoos, starts talking to Jamaican accent. He's just fucking going crazy.

He's like, let me tell you something read by the bug me daddy Tom. He be walking in here being like, you're a rude boy. And I be like that you not the bomb don't I hear you don't you're rom-tom tickly two tom-tom sad didn't you be playing with girls when you be making a league of their own movie shot up chat there's no baseball in this house to no crime and baseball let me tap in for a second. Yeah, tap in. I don't understand.

He does have, he has a good acting career and he seems to do an okay job on every of his scenes. So I don't get the necessity to do this. He's a hand job. Sometimes there just, but I mean, he might grow out of being a hant. I don't know how old he is.

So it's like on the benefit of the day, like he might grow out of being a hant job. And it being a great dude. And I'm sure I'm not saying he's not a whatever, maybe he's charitable. Who knows any of this. I'm just saying his personality is that of he's unlikeable guy.

Well, that's what happens. After the first time we found his music and such great songs is stretch it out. That was the deep catalog. I go beside, dude, I don't fuck around with that shit. He's a guy that we were like, oh, he's getting more mature. We saw him, I think, he had some personal problems and then he went and was acting in some stuff and seemed to be getting on the right track.

And we're like, all right, then that Jamaican video popped up and it's like when one of your alcoholic buddies goes on a bender and you're like and they're they're going to they're gonna go back they're gonna go back to be in all right and then need like does a couple more Jamaican videos and then pops up and calls a white boy summer and you're like guys he's back to being an asshole yeah he's in a total stooge because watch the second video so beloved ones wow white boy summer going up. It's fantastic. I love to see it. Thanks for making that a thing You know, they've been asking me if it's gonna be a white boy summer. Does that make it a black queen summer for you? And I say Do you know me because if you did you know that's all year round

Respectfully, but yeah, if you want to know more about the white boy summer, hit me in the my bio and red screen. Why ain't that? You can't because it's Instagram, so we have to run this. You're all fucking. That, what a move on. I can't listen to the rest until I hear that again. I want to throw my microphone.

I'm holding a microphone that I desperately want to fucking away across the room. It might be on YouTube already, by the way. Yeah, that, that, the dip off, the, the, oh my god, dude. With J, You talking about Yo, if you know me though black when summer goes that's all your romp I'm loving newbie and queens all 12 calendar months Pussah, mosa-fa. Pussah, pussah.

Pussah, pussah. I'm a s-a. I'm fucking hated that. I ain't even fucking. I'm fucking hated that. If you don't me at all, pussah. You know, you know, this boy get down with the brown. Pussah, pussah, pussah.

You know, him, msa-ah, my god, please find out where we can break that video down. This guy go to neat Nick Cannon's finishing school or something. I mean like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so goddamn funny. And Jay also isn't a white boy day what you would call going in the middle show and you have see with Lewis and everybody, you had white boy day and white boy week. It was white boy day was always going to like Mayhem Fester or Oz Fest and then white boy weekend was there happened to be a weekend the first ever UFC in Philly coincided with a Mayhem Fester Oz Fest, whatever it was.

And that was white boy weekend. And but we caught a white boy weekend because very explainably true romance. No, no, not that. It was called white boy day because it was, true romance. No, no, not that. It was called white boy day because it was, it's the widest event. You can go to sort of a clan rally is a metal festival. So it was white boy day and like the activities of a white boy. But I mean, the two definite people were always me and Lewis. So you've already, it's a Jewish person in a Puerto Rican that some people argue neither

are white. But, but I'm saying like so, argue neither are white, but uh, but I'm saying like so it was the activity, but much like Legion of Skanks and all that shit. I like dropping the hammer and then people go, what the fuck? And I go, uh, you're idiot. It means this. Uh, so, uh, yeah, that's what they are white. This doesn't seem like what he meant.

I think he meant it was, I think he feels, he calls himself white boy like he's a black person talking about a white person. Yeah, it's definitely a thick, juicy piece. Christy, is this him like taking back white boy? No, not at all. But later in the video, the video we're looking for is him with a hat on.

This is the first video. See later in the video if it's him with a hat on. Because that's where we're looking. I'll say what his face. Yeah. Yes. I'll say it while I'm going to say what to pay attention to on Chad hangs over the next few years and I want you to pay attention. I got a feeling he's got enough money that that hairline you see,

which is starting to hit the shit. Yeah. I bet we're going to see, I bet we're going to see that stuff coming forward again with some fucking old plug of Ruskies. Dude, get it. Dude, plug it up, chat. I bet he's going going to I bet you see this guy's hairline change Jacob you want to bet on that? Nothing wrong with that. No nothing wrong. Don't you think he's gonna do it for sure?

You see it happen. Yeah, I'm just saying you see it happening right? Yeah, don't you wish? Don't you wish your daddy made enough money to get your hair? Oh, dude Tom Hanks has enough money Where they can just get him to a new top of the head. Probably. Just get him a whole new head if you want. Did this you get him fucking big Jamaican dreads? He goes, I paid enough money that,

what's his name? Jason Mamoa let us scalp him. So, anyways, he doesn't have to bow in his head. We're sowing his top head onto your head. You're gonna look gorgeous. Action movie hair. I will get the full hero restoration. I'd get I'd get depth season two of 21 Jump Street hair.

Big floppers on top. Yeah, dude. Love those flops. Let's let's go back to that video, Christine. Do you that fucking double that pump off is one of the funniest things? Sifas. Sifas. Sifas. Sif it. Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss. Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss,

Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, Puss, P like, no, that was a, that was a, the dog was an acting dog. Its real name was Brutus. He knows, you know stuff like that.

Chet Hanks is fun for fucking Snapple Facts on Tom Hanks's movies. And he goes, yo, you wanna come over for dinner? Or something like that? He goes, I ain't eating that cast away food. What you doing crazy? Got a volleyball up in the dining room. Yeah, he goes, I thought he was he goes, I thought he had a mama.

It was a volleyball address. Tom Hanks made him a volleyball. Him doing like having catch phrases is fun too. Where he's like Jacob keeps using, what is it, can I tap in? Yeah, can that be your first thing in for us? Yes You guys want to tap in Christine if you can't we could just watch the Instagram video again and then just you know wait for it Because we know where it is. Yeah, and just not finding it. Yeah, it's gonna run it up. It's fine

I just gotta see it again Yeah, it's gonna run it up. It's fine. I just gotta see it again Because it's ball. It's just I can't just remember I cannot go back. I know and then Christine Don't even stop it Christine when it plays. I want you to run in here to this room and kick me in the nuts Brighter right because right when he goes backwards on it Crank it you got us Now I'll you click the mute. There's a mute thing on the bottom bottom right corner Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss If it's gonna be a white boy summer, does that make it a black queen summer for you? And I say, uh, do you know me? Because if you did, you know, that's all you're around. Respectfully, but uh, yeah,

because it's a good night while the fucker. I hit the link in my bike. Because you know, it's like, uh, I see. By the way, by the way, look right away though, this is his world. Look at that girl right next to her. Can you click that? I want to see her pictures.

The girl that was like, hell yeah, I'll be your black queen. Oh Yeah, I mean I mean she's gonna be just yeah, there you go. Yeah motherfucker. I'll go to fall his gums house Yeah, I had fucking chicken with the ventricode shut your mouth. Yeah, he was like a hey chat I just kind of want to know what's going on in the backyard you guys have a little pool party and I'm just home from filming the you this is a screen movie just kind of want to know what's going on there bud you go oh I have 40 black people come over I told me to use fun noodles yo dad oh I'm sorry I was trying to get an MC ham a party going on in the bag. You're on respectfully The time I exist like is your as your terets acting up against son

Yeah, it is and I say crazy stuff I'll be SREP's the sun's face right in front of all his black friends humiliates him Say it right now. I'm a good little boy right in front of all his black friends humiliates him. Siret! Siret right now he goes, I'm a good little boy! I'm a good little boy! Get in your goddamn room! He was son of a bitch.

One of the jokes that we made on the first episode that always makes me laugh is the thought of Colin Hanks' room being pristine like he died in a car accident. Like it's the same as it was when he was 10. Maybe he'll come back. And you go over and shit, he's just fucking laying on his his bed throwing a pen eight against the wall making marks all over the place Shoes up on the wall. Yeah, it doesn't give a shit. He goes to get in pain every year anyway. God I'm gonna go take the Bentley for a spin fuck you guys I think the Lambo out for a hundred and four cuz I need beer. That's why

Well, Jay you said he popped up in a party way. Oh, yeah, apparently. So I didn't watch it. They just sent me the video. It looks if this is any indication, you showed me these. I was like, oh, we should jump in then to this video too, because he's got another doser apparently. What's that, Jacob? That's one of your opinion. Like if you are like Tom Hanks and is and Rita Wilson are you there saying I'm so when he started with the Jamaican accent when do you think do you think they had a talk with him like can you please I don't think it ever hits their radar I think it doesn't hit the radar I think he's living his life they don't give a shit they're not on

Instagram like that you know what I think he talks like this in front of them I mean I mean I have to hope that he's smart enough and by the way when I see They don't give a shit. They're not on Instagram like that. You know what I think he talks like this in front of them. No, not like I mean, I have to hope that he's smart enough. And by the way, when I see people do it, it makes me so uncomfortable. Like, oh, oh, wait, what was it yesterday? No, no, it was me and Josh in a, did an elevator car and this like 20 year old, maybe 19 year old, like, girl got in the car and the like 20-year-old maybe 19-year-old like Girl got in the car and the elevator she goes, sorry guys just for you know I'm low-key drunk and I was like it's not that low-key and she goes She goes, yo, there's like a couple things going on here like a wedding and stuff and I saw people running around like no cap

Whatever you know that term and no cap and it's like no cap and I'm like I'm gonna miss Look at my face before you throw some stupid term like that at me and know that like why. So when people do that, I couldn't see him go home and go, oh, what's up, dad? He goes, man, the place is looking Gucci. I think he'd be like, get the fuck out of my house. I'm reading a script, Chester.

Get the fuck out of that house. I can't really. I can't concentrate on being the first man to climb Mount Kelo Manjaro with you fucking saying you're weird hippity hopter. Rita, you're fucking water out of a sun as fucking jet out. You know, I think your mom had bad eggs. I'm gonna tell her right now. I think she drank.

I think she drank because she was mad that I did big I love the idea that Tom Hanks is really just an abusive asshole at home, and that's why shit Hanks is like all of his mean comes out there Nope, I don't think he's abusive at all. I wasn't saying that was when I was implying he's abusive I bet he's headed up the fucking here Yeah, dude. I bet he was real so I bet he went to a lot of hip-hop dance Class fucking recitals and then like also went to like a lot of rich kid stuff. The landscape press to come up to him and go to me. Me, Mr. Hank.

I'm sorry, but Mr. Hank, but the your son keep throwing the new port bus on the floor and it gets stuck in the mechanism and I have to it. He gave praise. Justor, that's the second time you've broken one of Juanita's dust pans. Now listen to me, you can't go around and like, Mr. Hanks, listen, I hate to come up to you, but I just damn your landscape,

or I'm gonna let you know your sons got some drugs buried out there. He's also got some buzzers, and he's giving himself a haircut. Well, look at me, black man's haircut. So I don't know if you won't talk to him or what. And I know you gotta, I know you got deep hugging son of you don't mind me saying, sir, get the boys and plugs.

He could use some plugs up the front just to fill in a little bit. No, just let it's just, it's starting to move back. And I mean, if I can see it, hell, the whole world can see it. Anyways, I love you in Philadelphia. Damn, with this new apartment, it's probably gonna be a black queen somewhere from me in Christine. Sapo, something. Well, I'll tell you what, knowing how much fun we're about to have on this the spring break tips. We're going to take a quick break. Oh, he and then we'll be right back. That's got to be a drop. I think you see that drop. Shoo! And for those of you who know me, I can barely read.

Do you know me? Because if you did, you know that's all you're around. Respectfully. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM!