The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Whiteboy Weekend w/Chris Stanley

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

Both Chris Stanley and Mike Finoia are back! This time Mike is the co-host and Chris is the guest because Bobby Kelly's flight was delayed. | Jay believes that every Rob Zombie song has the same exact formula and he still loves it. | Even though there is news about Ozempic causing blindness, Jay thinks it's a fair trade off. | Weight loss drug talk leads to a conversation about recreational drugs. Everyone in the room besides Big Jay has romantic memories of doing Molly and ecstasy. | Sometimes worms or rats are found in snacks. Mike Finoia can be found on SiriusXM's "Saturday Night Shakedown" and Chris Stanley can be heard on "The Bennington Show!" *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. I bet there's some signs to the idea that if you like Rob Zombie, you like routine. Sometimes you don't want to be challenged at all. I said to Chris, I go, this is Rob Zombie's new song. I haven't heard it yet. I go, but I already know how it goes. And he's like, how I go? Well, it's Rob Zombie's song.

So the name of the song will be the chorus four times. And on the fourth time, the musical drop out. Nailed it. And I mean, just put it up, turn it up. here comes again. Tarantula. Tarantula. How many?

Tarantula. Oh, then here it comes. What kind of spider? Oh, it didn't drop out there. Fuck. He screwed up. It's like ministry. He's changed,

Burning inside. Burning inside. How could he do this? The fence. I'm a sucker for a musical drop out. I love it. Except when someone sucks live.

And the other thing drops out. You hear their shitty voice? in between? Boo. What is this for? Put more music behind your voice. You suck! Stop doing that.

He's such a good performer, but... Sounds better when there's music underneath it. I watched a white zombie, like, parts... I skimmed through a white zombie concert on YouTube this morning. And so if I went through the comments, and it was like, you can't... Just going through the comments, it's like, Rob, zombies always sucked.

You can't eat on air. I don't know why she brought those. Don't you do it, Mike. I've been on air before when there's food in the room. You just taking some cookies? I was looking at them. It's a snack for later, you know? Just looking at them.

I like to look at them a little bit. I'm going to make a nice mix. I was just checking the expiration date. I want to make sure all my friends are safe. Long-lived tarantula. Sounds like ministry. Sirius X-M's been feeding us 17-year-old snacks. Oh, for sure, dude.

I've had dust on the pretzels inside the bag. That ain't salt. it's mouse bones who did ever pop a fucking hot cocoa packet and you go to pour it in and there's worms in it

oh god no what yeah but there's a I don't you've had it how poor were you let's play it

oh I don't know no in college we had a box of like Swiss miss and we opened up the packets and there were a little fucking mealworms in it like little grubby meleworms

in it I don't believe any of the story who told me recently why would I tell you something that's not true? Sounds like you're lying. You probably remember it from... Oh, I don't believe any of those stories?

I'm having... I'm having... Because I'm getting towards 50. Look, maggots in my hot chocolate. You don't believe me. I believe you. This is this person. That's not your nails.

I like the videos where people... I just bought this from... It was exactly like that. Oh, were they moving? It was like in the back of our fucking thing in college. Back in the back of your meal warm farm. Did you ever see the videos where people buy food from Walmart, bring it back to the house?

a loaf of bread, and they're just pouring water on it, and it doesn't absorb the water. Because full of preservatives? I guess, and the food isn't real. One of the preserves, Rainex? Beads up, man. This is mostly Monsanto. QuickCrete? Is that what's on it?

It's weird. There's a lot of people believe that the food's real, especially from Walmart and such. It's not real? This is from social media. I'm not saying this myself. Walmart food isn't real? It's just filled with stuff.

Yeah, $1. Dollar tree food. I freak out about microplastics, but I'm fucking stoked on macroplastics. Yeah. I'll eat a wiffle ball bat, but I don't want any fucking little plastics in my candy. No, no, no, no, no. You ever put Chalua on a wiffle bat? It's fucking good, dude.

Hey, guys. Bat burrito? A bit bit bit bit. A little bat burrito. I like to fill you another little hole for air. I feel it with condiments. It's like a little calzone. Mm, a ketchup ball.

This is great. Yeah, flavor pocket. Concosts around the house. Jacob, are we Are we any further along And who we're going to interview Rob Zombie or Marilyn Manson at the concert? Because you promised me for sure

Definitely one of them I am working on it And I still haven't Remember you said a thousand percent And I was like And I was like That's not even a real percentage And then you went

It is now No Are you guys Are you guys gonna be doing From the From the concert now? That's awesome On a Zoom

Like a fucking local podcast But yeah Thousand percent Means you're gonna interview them 10 times in a row. No shit. That's going to be so great. I'm just going to come on board every time I go Marilyn Manson. If I could, just one more thing.

I have 20 hours with Marilyn Manson. They go listen. This is the year. He goes, listen, what we got you was Rob Manson. Local Jersey guy, a huge fan. Like four of these interviews are going to be for the Baddies podcast. But isn't there with the food stuff, not the maggots thing, but

that's what I said when I didn't believe is when they everyone has like the I opened up a a can because I got a C4 recently like at the energy drink and someone's like you know one of these or some brand and I go oh it's not that but there's there was a rat in the fucking can or a mouse get the fuck out of here so whatever you're buying a fucking

can of energy drink that's marketed towards C4 so that deserves a rat in the side of it and for that you deserve to drink rat piss I'm starting one called Ted Offensive energy drink Bay of Pigs energy. Yeah, Bay of Pigs energy.

You know, you're a man, right? And you're like, war and energy. Oh, I do agree. Straight of Hormuz. I do agree. Yeah, yeah. Listen, energy drinks in general are right in the wheelhouse of, like, if you're drinking an energy drink, it's because you want to stay awake so you can finish that

Maxa magazine cover to cover on your way home from a hooters. Yeah. You're all driving. You're a generic man, aren't you? And you like, uh, fucking Hiroshima energy drink. Yeah. And you don't even care. What's on you just DVR Spike TV all day.

Yeah, I'm a loyal Spike TV. I also have a subscription to stuff for, you know, a man who wants to buy things and likes tits. I gotta stay up for the last episode of Stare Street. Tits in crashing cars. I'm literally cattle and I just like tits and things to buy. Fake bread. Let's see. Fake bread.

Let's go. This lady's on baddies. Fake breadies. She got the headgear. All right, fake bread. Brie. Bread. Bread.

Brain. I got five-hion instrumental underneath it's sick. That's fantastic news. I'm fucking tripping. Or is bread not supposed to do that? I curse the bread and look at this shit. That's pretty weird. That is weird.

Go fish. Dude, that's that fucking subway yoga mat bread. But what's the name? So she's squeezing the bread up and it just kind of comes back to its original shape. Which is fucking strange. But what's this brand of bread? That might have to do with the brand of bread. brand of brand.

Well, I'll tell you what, you might not even realize. I don't know. Dude, one of the few things in the world where they go gluten-free, where I can notice a discernible difference is fucking bread. The gluten-free bread sucks shit, and it looks like it might do that. Yeah, it's fucking hard as shit. You know what? There ain't no gluten in it.

You know what's funny? I read something. The new gluten was the actual glute is held everything together. Those new, like, probiotic sodas and shit like that. Oh, yeah. That's huge. Yeah. And the sugar-free.

It ain't sugar-free. What it is is it's like a new, like, a sugar, adjacent thing. It's monk fruit. They pump monk fruit in it. Monk fruit, some weird-ass fruit that tastes sweet but it's not the calories of actual sugar. But it might make you go colorblind or whatever when you're eating.

They just don't know yet. And also, sodas just pumped with protein because you need 20 grams of protein and your delicious tasty soda. Yeah, what the fuck's up with protein? Now even like it's smart. It's smart. You're so funny. Being like a hypochondriac as I am. Don't be. No, I am. Very much so. But I'll tell you what, when it comes

to like how much I'm happy with the way I was able to lose weight from Manjaro. They just did the thing yesterday. It was like, OZempic's actually like under major fire for like, OZempics under major fire because it does something that people were like, you could wake up just blind one day and it's happened to a few people. Here's the thing. One is probably bullshit because I really do.

They really give you too many things that are like fact. And I think it says, is it OZempic that they say is? It's like it's the spit of. It's like the venom of like some kind of weird fucking snake, and it's like, no. Then you look it up and it's like it mimics that. It's like they figure out a way to mimic like the thing it does. But it's like, yeah, you're just, you're injecting the spit of a viper into your stomach. I'm sure Astrosanica is sending some guy out to fucking milk a snake.

Yeah. But I feel hot though, so it's fine with all this snake juice inside. It's like a tarantula venom or something. It's a gila monster. Of course. Gila monster. I mean, who hasn't. I've done a line of that.

No, but it's inspired by it. This guy's like, you know, you're just injecting Gila monster poison. You know, I've been working on Gila Monster poison. I think it could work for OZEA. Are Gila monsters like no fat? Are they like ripped fucking lizards? They're keto. They're consistentatocin.

Intermittent fasting lizards? Well, they didn't call it a carnivore diet. I called South Beach and that's where they're from. Like a Gila 90X? Yeah, the inspiration for Gobi and Ozempic. But here's the thing. Look up, has anybody gone blind from Ozempic? They also say, like, if it fucks with, like, anesthesia and shit, I don't know.

But I really got to say, I don't know how long, like, I don't know, again, I'm surprised about the legality of a guy being on a thing being, like, I'm Dr. So-and-so, and I'm telling you that O-Zempic is Gila Monster Venom. And then you just look it up one thing, and it's like, it's not. Yeah. So why is that guy led to do that? Well, no one really is. They just do it for fucking engagement. Right. Clicks, baby, clickbait.

Dr. Clickbait? Dr. C. The amount of fucking. Fucking doctors on TikTok spitting shit out? Come on, man. Also, I saw... Dr. Oz is the fucking health or whatever in the country with the RFK Jr. They're just engagement farmers.

You see RFK Jr. put a snake in the pool with his kids? It's hot. No, but I'll tell you this. A snake in his pool. I'll tell you this, dude. I'll go one milky eye to maintain losing weight. It would look cool? Yeah.

Would you go glass eye? If you got a milky eye, would you replace it with a Legion of Skanks eye? Full Maryland-Manson eye, yeah. Or, like, the dude in, um... Still my favorite thing ever at any skank fest was when you had to, like, get serious for a minute and go to the hospital to check on Isabella, and you had fucking...

Flame... He looked at me and he goes... Dude, he goes, Isabella's in the hospital, and he had fucking, like... Like a goth girl on old events. Godgarely. I go, you can keep your contacts in? Like a real lip spreader.

Yeah, but you're only selling ludes. Hey, go, don't talk to the doctor. And to fucking... I bet I'm going to see your fucking... Her vagina. No. No. It's like,

take those out before you talk to the amount insurance. I saw a thing that said OZempic is causing longer life, Christine. Well, that's...

So it's just the opposite. No, but that's the general thing of it all, losing weight. Well, they're saying even like, yeah, though,

of course. And there's also the thing of like, OZampic, any of them really are just like causing less, um,

little gambling, less drug use, less... Oh, addictive things they say. Yeah, less like, also like feelings of like lust,

like killing, killing, sex drive? Like I'm hearing, you know, you read all this shit. Who knows what the fuck is real or not? I never had sex drive killed by medication ever when they said they have. I'd never had much side effects of things. That's great. Lexapro never had like vivid, scary dreams like they said. Oh, I did. Or like, if I've gone off it, I've never gotten the zaps. What are the zaps? Brain zaps. It's like, it's like, your serotonin's all out of whack. So it's get, you're getting like, Neat, like you can almost hear it. Oh, shit. I got that bad. Also, Lexapro gave me like real bad

double vision and shit like I'd feel like I could like see through fucking stuff I've never had boner problems I mean the only thing that's ever been a side effect is that if I take a pain killer I will fucking I will fuck until I will fuck until the skin comes off the side of my dick before I come oh yeah yeah that just yeah yeah that'll kill the ability to nut

it's so I know but you're horny yeah so you really want to keep going you're like it's gonna get there eventually and then you're like and then eventually you start hearing like it sounds like corduroys walking. That's why there was that song that popped on TikTok, fuck him off a perk. Yeah.

It was a great, it's a banger, really. Great chorus. Almost Rob Zombie-like where he just keeps saying, fuck him off a perk. Is there a drop-off? Is there a music drop-off? There isn't, actually. There isn't. It's like my whole thing. Is there anywhere on the dark web to get a hold of some legit ludes? Why are you staring at

Chris on that? I mean, probably not. I mean, there's probably someone. Do you visit the dark web? I wouldn't even know to begin I just recently found out where you. I just recently found out where could find hidden requests for messages on Instagram. Did you know that's a thing? No. They're right there, dude, thousands of people.

Yeah, yeah, there's hidden requests. I just want to find, I just want to one day I want to try Ludes. Well, there's probably Ludes, right? Someone probably has a fucking jar of Luge from back from the 70s and late 60s. But the half-life on them would probably mean that they just aren't as effective. Like that shit, as pills get older, they lose their effectiveness. Sure, of course. You did take Luz-it before.

So one time in Hunter College, there was this guy who knew me, he'd be like, oh, this guy would buy stuff. And I was like, he's like, I got quailudes. I'm like, how old was this guy? This guy was probably a few years older to me. This was probably the early 2000s. What you do? 9-11, right?

And it was probably right after 9-11. Long hair, Chris? Yeah, going, getting the long hair, Chris. And the guy's like, you want to buy a quailude? And I'm like, yeah, I'll buy a quailude. And so I take it, I eat it. And then I'm just in my apartment, just fucking popping a quailude. Or what I was told was a quailude.

And then I fell asleep, then woke up. Estrogen. He's full tits Giant tinnies Pierce too oddly Holy shit He goes Not am I a girl now

I'm a slut I wish OnlyFans Was around right now Instead stupid 2002 Could you imagine if you hadn't Pierce nipples And fucking sick tits Years ago

You could have thought of Only fans I guess That's how I feel I could have thought of Zeus Network Society wouldn't judge a white guy Fucking mastering around Black people

Fist fighting each other all day Not that Thanks of the Patriot Act. So then, no, I woke up with half of a 22 occult 45 drank and Chinese food on my table. I had no ruck and recollection of it. Now, I don't know if it was a... And Billy D. Williams come in your ass? Oh, yeah, my pussy.

It was just leaking. I'm like, what's that? Oh. There was a lit... Billy D. Williams said, next time, young man. There's a lit, cool cigarette in the ashtray. Oh, that's fucking great. Billy D. Williams, Col 45.

You had a whole night, no recollection. No recollection whatsoever. But then I woke up and it was like, whatever. I was kind of still high. But no, so to answer your question is, one time I thought I bought a Quaylude, but I don't think I did. You died three times.

I would love to try it. It's so good they've been there. I was always told that's the one that I would like the most, which just means heroin is the one you'd love the most. Yeah. Dude, let me get, listen. I fucking love ketamine, and I'm sure that's kind of like it.

God bless Ronnie B. The fact that he hasn't pushed off yet with some fucking heroin. I mean, Ron fucking, you know, He's all about them ludes, because he was in the heyday, the ludes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, his story. I talked to him about it. Yeah, but if I was getting cancer treatment, I'd also be doing heroin. But our, in my day, it was just the Xanax sticks.

Yeah, it was the bars, yeah, yeah, yeah. You take the whole thing? Yeah. So. Is that the idea? What's the... I mean, whatever, you like, if you like a full football size, which is, what, a half a milligram, milligram?

Yeah, half milligram, and a zanny bars, two milligrams. Two and change, maybe, yeah. Remember, I tried to give you one. But there's a time released, right? No, no. No, all it one. You can snort him, bud. Dude, so we had an apartment right after high school, and I was on a ton of acid, and I had to cut it out.

I had to wake up. My buddy goes, he was leaving. I'm by myself tripping. He goes, take this and listen to this. And he gave me a zanibar in the Steely Dan box set. And he's like, you'll be fine. So I loved the zani bar. I go, can I have a lot more of those?

He gave me more. I took one. My buddy goes, I'm moving out of the apartment. We needed him. Do you want the Steely Dan record? We needed him to pay the rent. And everyone's yelling at him, you fucking idiot. You told us you were going to live with us, blah, blah, blah. I'm on a Zanny bar.

I'm like, guys, guys, guys, go easy on him, okay? Everything's cool. I black out. I go to sleep. I wake up. He's moving out. The Zanny Bar is not in my system anymore. And I'm like, what the fuck do you think you're doing? And he's like, I'm moving out.

And I'm like, you're fucking moving out, you asshole? Situation's intense for Steely Dan, dude. I know. Cousin DuPree is playing in the background. This is fucking intense. Hence, a situation. But the Zany Bar, I had a fucking Chris Stanley Lude moment where I don't even remember being, like, sticking up for the dude. I was like...

And I remember when on Xanax, like, fucking alcohol tasted like soda. I love. And it's very dangerous. You should not drink on Xanax or Klonap area. Delicious, delicious soda? That's all I did. And just, like, pounding booze. And it was bad.

A Zany and, like, three beers was, like, my favorite. I'm weirdly, like, pretty drug-naive for the most part. What do you want to know, man? Yeah. How awesome. some heroin is. You were, you're naive,

you've experienced things. No, for sure, but I've snorted, I snorted two lines of cocaine ever, and, uh, ever in my life and one sobered me up.

And then the other time, I don't remember doing anything but me, as soon as I did it, I was just kind of like, oh, dude, I'm not going to do your car. Just cut some rails sober. It'll be,

it'll be, really get the head off. That's when you know it's like, yeah, middle of the day, you're doing a fucking line of yak by yourself. You got it? You're holding? That's when you know.

Why, you hold me? You know, I definitely, I don't, I have no desire to try that again at all. I've done Molly a few times. Pretty great for the most part. Pain killers rule. I was doing, we were, I mean, 2000, 98, 99, 2000, that was like the pressed ecstasy pills. Y'all. Where you didn't know what you were getting.

Yom. Yom. 1.02. 0.1.2. Yeah. Yeah. Double stack. Triple stack.

The fucking Mitzuiche. Mitsubishi turbos, the big fatties. Oh, yeah. Yeah, purple 2000s were great. And they're mostly filler with like a little bit of meth. You guys sound like bisexual yuppies. One time. You guys sound like American Psychos friends.

I bought some, boom. I bought some pills in the fish parking lot and I was eating it. And they were called banana splits. And I ate one and this dude came running. He goes, nobody eat the banana splits. And I was like, gulp, and I ate it, and it was all smack, dude. It was just a heroin pill. And I was just chewing on my lip and, like, scratching.

You became a junkie the first time? No, dude, you're eating a heroine. You're eating, like, heroin. I know, if I don't know the first time you do heroin, you immediately become like that. You're just like this, do you change smoking cigarettes? You're just scratching. It's the best scratch you'll ever have in your entire life. I definitely woke up with...

You're like a dog. I woke up with the sore jaw before. That sucks. Ecstasy pills were the best. Yeah, it was the fuck, you're spinning a wheel on what you're getting. Well, you wanted the heroin ones. The ones that were coming around were the good ones. No, I wanted the speed ones. No fucking way, dude.

Well, it depends on who's the press of them. You know what I mean? Like, some guys, like, yeah, I'll put a little more speed in this one. And you had a fish concert, like, fucking Jesse Spano? I remember in the fish parking lots when it flipped from, uh, from E-pills to Molly. Yeah. And it was just like, I'm going to take as much Molly as I did ecstasy. And that was a bad idea. Bad idea.

And then you're a put-off. Well, you guys were doing all this. I was at the Good Boy Awards. That's pretty cool. I was the Good Boy Awards. Wow, three years running. Best Boy. Remember it was gel tabs?

Remember it was like happy, giggly acid? And then it went to ecstasy? All right? So, you know, gel tabs. It's just like, you know, like a Tylenol or whatever, right? And where there's like dust in it, which is the actual drug. I had bought a bunch of them in the parking lot of Ex-Molly. And then I went to the show, and it was in the winter.

So in the show, it was really hot. And all. All of the gel tabs melted together. Yeah, baby. And then I was like, oh, I fucking pop it. And then I like, I almost OD. It was really bad. Yeah.

But I'm still here. I did that with acid. They both melted together and you took it. Yeah. Well, no, because you know what it is? It's like a little tiny, like, little frozen jello, you know? And I thought I bought a 10 strip and they gave me two 10 strips stuck together. Yeah.

So I thought I ate 2, I ate 4. And then my buddy did more. And we had a good time. When I was- Popcorn outside. When I was younger, I took my stepfather's Newport 100. Me and my friend smoked in a corner. We were a little bad boys for a little bit.

Well, you weren't driving strippers around. We looked at pornography. I didn't do drugs with them either. They did drugs. Really? How you about the strippers? No. Damn.

No, that would have scared the shit of me. Responsible. It's good. Yeah, I didn't really drink much at that point. I was like 18, 19, 20 when I did that. So I didn't really drink at all. That was never the thing. I say it was funny.

My vice would have been in that moment much more was not getting laid necessarily because I only happened probably. well, I guess I was the girlfriend at that point, but two people maybe. So it wasn't that my vice was pussy. My vice was an opportunity to see pussy. Does that make sense? In my mind, I took the job of like,

that job was completely like... Being pussy adjacent. Get to look at pussy, and then I'm driving the pussy home, and maybe she'll show me her pussy. You were a bird watching. And then what you do is you end up actually just picking up a girl from an abusive household or leaving her kid behind,

so you could take her to go get fucked by some weirdos. Yeah, dropping off with abusive men. And then dropping her back off to an abusive man while she looks sad the whole time counting fucking cum cover dollars. Wet dollars? She's like, can I drive the dollars on the dashboard? Minus a couple of those fucking little stinky wet dollars

that I split off top for myself because they weren't good tippers. Oh, that sucks. That's shitty. Yeah, counting up rolled up bills, just unrolling them with fucking dust on them. Fucking zanny bars, dude. Are they meant to be split up? Are you not supposed to take the whole thing? Are you supposed to take a little bit of time? No, it's definitely.

They're perfect. for that reason. That's a drug addict's mentality that goes, are they meant to be broken, I'm taking individually? He goes, I guess you can? It's like, yes,

it's for that, specifically, it looks like. I guess it's some weird alternate universe you could bring. Some weird happy life when you have those and don't need them. This must be a joke written by some comedian already,

but how is it the thing, one of the most emergency problems you can have in the world is diarrhea and opening a single emodium AD and getting it into your palm is the hardest thing in the world. It's impossible.

Yeah. You might need a scissor. And even when you get into a scissor, you might have to hurt your fingers getting into that hard plastic for that perfectly seal. There's not even a little room for you to jiggle around.

Then you're wiping your diarrhea ass with a bloody open finger. And that's how you get sepsis. Whatever packaging scientists think of that... That's what killed Jim Morrison. It's a piece of shit. Literally. Like, come on, man.

It's an emergency situation if they're popping them. Jim Morrison died from shit in a hang nail. Do you guys hear that? It wasn't drugs at all. That's news to me. This is great. Everyone thought it was an Indian who gave him crack or something, but now... It was a poop cuticle.

It was a fucking poop cuticle. A poop cuticle. I like a tell's joke where he's like, microdosing. He's like, never had that when we were doing cocaine. No one was ever like, hey, let's save something for tomorrow. What? What psycho would say that? Yeah.

I said, always, heaven Isabella saved me probably from doing like, uh... like trying more stuff even at the time that's good you know what I did and I think at the time I thought it was awesome but now I'm like where we just like we used to put cocaine on weed and smoke waste of weed waste of weed yeah it's waste of coke waste the coke right burning the fucking coke that's why crack exists because you can't smoke exactly or just smoking base or whatever we were like oh man do you guys want christina give you the recipe for crack from memory yes do you put nutmeg in your crack when we were watching when we were watching the show uh snowfall and they were making crack in the movie

Christine was biting her bottom lip like she was listening to fucking journey look at him go she was look at her on the sweet sweet rocks look at those sweet sweet beautiful rocks I what's funny is again like Mike you're

sort of like that Chris you're one of my friends like this so many of my friends did all the cocaine and partied all when we were all in our 20s and I was raising a daughter and now I'm 48 and I'm like oh I'm pretty responsible is you guys want to try crack once and everyone's like no dude i've had to go to rehab three times already i'm just smoke it once just put it down and never the only person it's all about

set and setting the only person that will come to me still this day i assume and go hey you want to do coke is joe de rosa and i'm not doing it with him no i won't be another one of his fall asleep at his house sexual victims i'll tell you what i'll sit with you any drug you want to do i'll make sure you're okay crack cocaine sure let's do it i don't want you to do it But if you're going to do it. Do it with me? No. What?

So I'm just going to suck your dick. No. You don't have to suck anyone's dick. I'll be on crack, dude. Does Mike have the crack? Because if he has a crack, he might suck a dick. And I'll go, uh, uh, uh, uh, you want more. You got it up here, huh?

Come on, what hand is it? Put it behind your balls and say no hands. I like 100 people busting Hunter Biden's balls on Twitter and they're, like posting like crack pipes. And he's like, that's not a crack pipe. That's a meth pipe. Yeah, he's crazy. Dude.

I fucking love him. I don't smoke meth. Hunter Biden's pretty awesome. Oh, yeah, he like owns it completely, right? He's like, fucking, yeah, dude. He's like, I smoked crack in a hotel in West Haven, Connecticut. He's like, you had sex with prostitutes? He goes, well, I was on crack.

I remember watch someone start a telegram channel with all of his videos, because he fucking videotaped everything. Like, all of his, everything he was doing with all these prostitutes. Oh, sex and shit? Oh, yeah, I've seen his dick mad times. He's got a fucking whopper, doesn't it? He has a nice cock. Yeah.

It's a nice penis. It's like in dark. There's guns and weighing out coke and crack. There was one girl where she had a ring of blood around her nose. Now, she seemed like she was having a good time, but I was like, I'm spying that. That's not good. This is dark. Oh, maybe she's a fire starter's dad power.

Possibly. Maybe she has fire starters dad power. You got to think about that. If anyone has to, if I ever do coke and my nose starts bleeding and go, dude, you do coke, I go, no, no, no, I just made some guy do what I wanted with my brain. It takes a lot. Yeah. When I think kill someone, my nose. nosebleeds. Someone's head exploded across the country.

Yeah, yeah. I'm a scanner. I mean, you got to own it if you're gonna fucking be the president's kid. No one's on it more than that dude. Right. I like it. They just says he did it. Yeah, fuck it. How about the guy, uh, man, that was a great was that an untold? What was it they did a documentary not too long ago about

Rob Ford. Again, the guy from the guy from Toronto. I mean, that guy was just the best guy ever. Speaking of Pats Smok Rock. I was like, what do you have to say about, uh, what do you have to say about? What do you have to say about out your fucking secretary or whatever saying that you

want to eat her pussy and he was like oh I go she's a liar and it'll all be proven in court plus I got plenty of eat at home I mean I throw that back he just like

but he came back for like a little yeah he goes boiaca because he was constantly speaking in Patoa and he could pull it off too are you sure not thinking of Chet Hanks

no he could blow Chet Hanks away with his Pats Rob Ford Crack video released but how amazing But I didn't realize when I watched the documentary, I might be getting this wrong. He won again. He had like crack things already and won again. I think he was a good mirror.

The Canada was in a phenomenal shape, dude. I don't care. Yeah, I don't care what you do. T.D. That's what I call it. T.D. I don't care what you're doing. Be my man Drake. Keep those gas presses down.

The people he has the pictures with is always just so just young thugs who sell crack. And he just sitting there going and goes, no any guys everyone's private school? Light up You think Tim Hortons is open? Look at him hammering a chicken wing Oh, in a Bill's jersey. Hell yeah. Dude, he was awesome, and he was just getting the screaming matches.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He stepped down from no fight. But they said he got shit done. Yeah. He was not sleeping, Jay. Very good drug, dude. In that regard. Yeah.

Cocaine's a hell of a drug. Who else was caught fame of Marion Barry? What was the first drug you did that wasn't weed? you wouldn't do any dumb like mushrooms yeah no molly did you do molly before mushrooms no i did mushrooms no no all false i did mushrooms

uh with lewis and dave and that was our weekend when we went we did a white boy weekend featuring a puerto rican um and we all went to the u fs i mean the worst thing could happen to the ufc happened to this ufc it was me Dave Lewis

and their friend Wes who at the time I really did not get along with he didn't know that Wes was unaware of that it was just Wes wasn't my kind of guy and Lewis and Dave I loved and they came down it was a white boy weekend

we were doing fights UFC fights and then an Ozfest or maybe opposite of that maybe it was like an Oz fest and then the next night was UFC and Philly we all did in Philly got a hotel room one we're broke so we're sharing hotel room

all four of you. Yikes. And one guy you don't like. Well, there was a girl with us at the UFC. And we were, the thing in front of us there was, just a bunch of guys in front of us, and they just started saying some shit. They were being dicks for some reason, like towards us.

And it got where it was kind of like a bit of a pissing match or something. There was, no, there was more of them or whatever it was. We didn't want to get kicked out, I think. Like, everything about it. But these guys were, like, saying shit. And they said something to the girl, who was a girl, Lewis, used to date, but not at the time but she was just a friend.

And he goes like, he goes, yeah, why don't you shut up? He was, you end that fat bitch. And then all of our whole group got quiet because everyone was just kind of like, I think Lewis has to handle that? And then Lewis was like, I thought we were all going to handle it and then no one handled it.

We just ate it. Then we tried to do the thing where we waited for him outside. But yeah, so, oh yeah, let's wait for these four guys to come out with the 63,000 people. We're going to catch these guys outside. Don't worry, we're going to catch you outside. We'll be outside the south entrance.

Hey, why did we walk so much faster than, ahead of them, and went out of a side door that no one thought we could go out. Was this chubby, dyed-haired Lewis? No, I didn't know that, Lewis. Oh, you never? I never knew Lewis with hair at all now. Really? Wow.

But so we did that, and then that night we drove home. Me and his friend Wes in the car got into a huge fight. Over what? On mushrooms? No, no, no, no. I wouldn't drive up much. My first time I were taking them. No, our plan was to do mushrooms back at my house.

Carla and Isabella were gone. They were visiting her dad or something. I had to place myself. I'll take him for the first time. And I said, I may have been on SSRIs or Lexa Pro at the point, which I think can affect this. Maybe not, because I've been on it and had mushrooms work before pretty good. It all depends, I guess, but I took it this night.

And everybody did exactly what they told me their thing was going to be. Dave was sitting on a couch looking at shadows. and trying to over-explain that all light is connected to each other. That makes sense. All light touches. Okay. And I was like, sure, yeah. And then Lewis was wrapped in a blanket, a bedspread that I had in a closet that no one used.

A bedspread. He was wrapped in it. Sweating, just head coming out of the swaddle and like smile, like, smiling and like enjoying something that we're not seeing. This is what I thought mushrooms was, not realizing it can be a lot mellower than this situation. because I watched episodes of Howard Stern TV on demand I took phone call and I would do someone call I go oh this is you know this is Carla I think they got to the hotel whatever I'm like hey and then they would come out of there I think they'd be like I can't I'm gonna go on the phone how are you talking on the phone I'm like I don't know man

maybe it's not hit me the same yeah but I'm enjoying myself I'm like hey look the tree looks weird but I say I don't think I submit to drugs enough I think that's a lot of the thing I think a lot of drugs sometimes I'm sure there's things you don't have to submit to it, just going to do it. Yeah, yeah. But I think you have to submit a little bit. A little bit. The same thing, I've never been the kind of high.

I have been in the moment of, like, watching something and probably having, like, a stupid smile on my face and looking as, like, stoned as possible out of your mind. I promise that if a cop walked in that room right now, I was like, hey, I need to see everybody's idea. I go, what's something a problem? I wouldn't be like, hey, man. Yeah, yeah. Are you here, man?

It's not like the rules. Is this happening? I'm like, I've always been able to be like, no, I'm not stone. But here's the problem. Here's the solution. You just have to double down in the dosage. It'll make you submit to it. That's what I'm saying, he goes,

I don't know about mushrooms. I mean, really, that's the truth. Well, you took that three and a half bar, you had the best time. It's great. I'm going to do it again, Jacob. You're going to see me on that mushrooms, my man. I'm taking them.

After we interview Rob Zombie 100% or 1,000% Marilyn Manson, then we're going to do mushrooms. You're going to take them with me? You can't wait, dude. Take them, you know. Just fucking take them, man.

You've never taken mushrooms before. Were you, no, crack that mind open. Were you like, take a half a pill and then another half and then like two more? Or were you just three at a time? What? Do you look at them?

I have a lust for life. Look at him. What do you think of you? No, no, no. He just told you he ate all the acid because the acid melted together. It was Molly. Talking about ex-ticill of Molly. I'm talking about ex-stasy.

Apologies. No, when it was like you didn't know what it was. You know what I'm saying? When you kind of like roll the dice, ecstasy? No, I was very dumb. So eventually I got to the point where, all right, give me a pill. I'll fucking snort half, pop the other half. So I'll know exactly what it's going to feel like in 15 minutes.

And then another half hour. And then you know if you're heading towards a nightmare with the most fun night of your life? Yeah, but then there was some guy who came by with like, oh, man, I think I'm going to buy this Bible of acid. And I'm like, and he's like, you want to test it first? And I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll test it. Just testing random acid and it was just trash acid. But also there's the thing of like, oh, it has hit for 10 hours, then it hits. Right.

And then it's just like, I thought I was past it. I wouldn't trust. I wouldn't trust that it was the acid anymore. I'd be like, well, this is the heart attack. Yeah, this is my mind. A bad acid headache is like the worst fucking headache in the world. Yeah, blows. I didn't go to what stuff.

It's like an ice cream headache for six hours. Yeah. It's like a migraine almost. It's like just sharp fucking pain. You just go, oh, this is awesome. I did. I used to do the entire thriller choreography for my mom-mom while you guys were doing those things. That's fine.

I made close-pin Jesus too. I made clothespin Jesus. That was part of her fucking side business she had you doing your mom with your grandmom. Corridi's. Well, homemade chotchkes. When I was in college, I was also a point of like, hey, you know if you take a bunch of choracidin, like the over-the-counter cold medication, it will make you trip. And so I was like, okay, I'll do that.

And I took, like, two boxes of choracine, like a moron. And then I went to class, and the class was in an auditorium. It was called History of Math. So there's actually math going on. Just the history of it. Just the guy talking about the history of math. First, there was one. Yeah, pretty much.

And I don't remember anything about the class. A few days later, two rolled along. But I do remember, he was like, anyone I made questions? And I raised my hand, and someone told me later, oh, you just spoke gibberish, not even words. And then I realized what was happening. You got up and just...

You're in front of them, really? Yeah, literally that. I was told that's what happened. And I got up and just walked out of the middle of the class. Nice. A part of me wishes I had discovered weed in high school. I think I would have enjoyed high school more. Oh, it was awesome.

I would have enjoyed high school a lot. Going to high school high was the best thing in the world. Right. I would have done that every day. Of course. And I would have, I would have been that thing when you wake up in the morning. I think I would have got up and been like, look forward to like, ooh, I'm going to be stoned and see my friends.

Instead of just been like, I hate homework. Everything's stupid. I'm not good at sports. Why can't it be good at sports? Why can't be getting good sports? All I got is these stupid fucking wall drawings. They're piling up. And by the way, I went to a predominantly black school,

so I'm having the right names burst name. Like, Cadeja. Yeah. You couldn't have done that on some good Ili. Donatuana. Yeah, and you missed the high school like pot with embalming fluid in it and like all that cool.

Like, Illy. We had, did you have that? No, but people used to say like, you know, the shitty weed was sprayed with, I don't know, fucking roach spray. Yeah. Braid, weed. But when they say it was the embalming fluid,

I asked another when I never believe. I believe that, like a rat in the Diet Coke. Embalming fluid goes, yeah, yeah. So my father's a corn. And he had an extra jug of embalming fluid laying around. Oh, you can just buy embalming fluid at anywhere, really. Painthener. Painthener was another one.

This was before Amazon. Yeah. You had to know, you had to have an embalming fluid guy. There's just no way when they were like, oh, it's weed dipped in embalming fluid. He goes, someone who's rolling handmade joints knows somebody with embalming fluid. Yeah. Sorry. Is this the medical examiner's office?

Sorry, if you don't mind, I just got to dip this in here real quick. And they got to spend three more of these. I'm sorry. Now, this actually, this is pretty awesome. I was never here. You're doing great. This guy looks like he's just sleeping. Remember when you'd be on ecstasy?

You'd be on ecstasy and someone would come up and blow like a Vix Vapo inhaler like into your nose and shit like that. That was kind of annoying. I didn't like people near me when I was doing. Again, I did all these things when I was like an adult. So I don't have any of the childlike like things of it too. It was cute. Like a girl will come up and go like blow like a Vix Vapo thing like a cooling stick in your nose and it made you feel all. No, not me.

Me and Ari Sheffier and the Poconos trying to talk. Because then we're going, like, is this eye drooping? Is my eyes turning droop? No, we're okay then. We're okay. I love you, dude. Tell them we know each other. I love you physically.

I said mine, oh, Chris, you don't do drugs like that anymore. But we would have a fun molly time because anyone has done it with me to tell you, you probably want to hear my life story. And then also peppered in between that, how long you and I have known each other. It's talking at me for a while now. Do you snore it or do you drink the molly water? The pill. Okay, all right, good.

Any exhale cigarette smoke like this? Get that jaw going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But every time I get that full exhale, I'm going to go, what have we known each other now, like 15 years? It's wild now, bud. And I'm going to go, when I met you, you were, and a bunch of things you don't want to care to talk about it.

Your eyes are saucers right now. I'm at this year. Who is the intern kid? The intern kid, you guys. the intern with the teeth in the face. Oh, the intern that had a teeth in the face. The face and the teeth guy. Jeff? You're fun on drugs. Come on.

Come on, dude. We've known each other for now. What is it? I'm thinking now it's probably closer to 16 years. I'm doing the math. I love telling people how much. Oh, is that a little smack my bitch up? You're going to bring us in with that? Fucking Molly music. I know we've got to wrap this bitch up. It's about that time.

Another one flies by with the boys. Mike Finoa. Thank you. co-hosting with me. In time, Cowboy. He's going to be at Zanis downtown, Chicago, July 9th through the 11th. For tickets and all the tour dates,

visit Mike Fenoya.com. And make sure you check out the Saturday night shakedown every Saturday at 8 p.m. Eastern on SiriusXM, Grateful Dead Channel 23, and follow him at Mike Finoya on all socials. Of course, Chris Stanley's on Bennington. Yes. Right here on Faction Talk 103, weekdays, noon to 2,

and of course, High Society Radio on Gas Digital and YouTube. Follow at Bennington, SXM on socials and listen to the podcast. Bobby Kelly, 7 p.m. Fat Black Pussy Cat Lounge, every Tuesday at the comedy cellar. He's also going to be in Port Smith, New Hampshire, July 25th. Two shows one night. After that, he's in Saratoga Springs, September 11th, and 12th. Never forget. Brooklyn, New York, on September 26th means nothing for tickets and all other tour dates.

Visit Punch Up. What do you make, what did you say? Why did you make a face? You said means nothing? Yeah, Saratoga Springs was September 11th and 12th. Oh. July 25th was two shows one night. Thanks for slowing it down. Hey guys, if we're laid on the ads today, it's because Christine just pulled the brakes.

I don't even want to do ads anymore. Punchup.L.L. Robert Kelly. You can catch me. Richmond, Virginia, Long Island. Harrisburg sold out this weekend, but get some standby tickets if you can. Oh, yeah, in the Great Outdoors Festival.

Two shows in one day. I just don't know what they are exactly. BigJ.com might have tickets for that. YouTube.com slash Big J. Okerson. Of course, listen to all my stuff. And we'll catch you tomorrow. Bobby should be home. But the weather ain't getting any better.

Nope. He might just be in Austinite now. Him and Joe DeRose are going to be doing Coke with trannies and bars. Bile and horrendous. Let's hope. Thank you so much, Chris. Thank you.