The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Women's Wolf Haircut

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Jay and Bobby wear sunglasses in the studio because they are so cool. | Bob wants to own a big parcel of land so he can live like a Native American. | Bobby is obsessed with a new style of haircut women are wearing called "the wolf cut." He tries to prove to Jay that it's an attractive look. | DJ Lou experienced puberty because of Janet Jackson. | Bobby goes to Broadway to see The Outsiders Musical and cries during it. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. You all right there, kid? What's going on? Try to see the exact right way to put these headphones on? Sorry, Shades Day. Shades Day. Jacob, you got shades? Do you have clip-on shades, do you have glasses?

I'm sorry. These are transitions, actually. Ooh. They do become sunglasses now. But not just when you need to be cool like now. Right. Like us. Right now, we're being fucking so cool.

Jacob, look over here. Now look over there. Oh, he's not being cool when he's messing with his chain to nowhere. No. That'll be cool. It was this. Oh. Is this cool?

I don't even know if I care. How cool it? Because you're cool. Yeah. Cool people don't care. I don't know if I give a shit. I like it. What's up?

I like yours. You have the Bono shades. The tint. I have a fade. Yeah. As I like to say, Ombre. What are you saying? like an asshole.

Yours are full sunglasses. Yeah. A little, one-touch cooler. Bobby's got a leather jacket to make up for the lack of cool the glasses do. I do. And to hide my side fat on a t-shirt. I'm wearing silly gloves, so I need dark glasses.

We were comparing Jacob to what's his name? Jordan. Jordan Slansky. Shlansky. Shlansky on Conan. He's our Jordan Shlansky. He does look a lot like him.

He looks like him. he acts like him because he's very serious about the things he likes. Yeah. Like we brought up Japan and we were like, we should go to Japan with Jacob and ruin it and not bow. He goes, you have to bow. Jacob's like, you have to bow. Yeah, Jacob's definitely tucking in his button down shirt on a Sunday kind of guy.

He's not going to bring in the noise and bring in the funk wherever he goes, the way you hope. No, he's going to honor the Japanese tradition to the tea. I'm a sloth in my apartment. Huh? I don't get out of my sweatpants. Oh, in your apartment. Yeah, yeah, that's fair enough. I would love to just video.

I would love to just put a ring camera in Jacob's apartment for a weekend. Yeah. Just so we could all watch him like a, almost like a zoo type thing. Watch him traverse the side of his bed to get on top of it so he can masturbate. Bobby, you've literally done everything that I do in the weekend. You done the band workout with me. That's it. I didn't cry in a bed alone.

No, that's true. I didn't do that. Why did you look in the prostitutes? Yeah. I don't want to be. This might be the sunglasses talking. I think of you just think of us in prostitutes. I see a prostitute.

Get him over. Ask them for their family rate. I winked. You can't tell. I say get a prostitute and a trampoline, so you don't have to climb on the bed. You can vault. You can vault onto the bed. Have you thought about vaulting onto your bed at night? That might bring some fun into the house.

It's a high mattress. Yeah. You can vault onto a prostitute. How cool would that be? I do have to hop up. But you won't have to if we get you this trampoline. You're going to have to get the prostitute. Or we'll get to get a prostitute.

Or we'll get the prostitute. You get a trampoline. Or me and Bobby get split the cost of both. Either way this weekend, I want you fucking a prostitute on a trampoline. Are you in or you out? I can't. We need an answer now, Jacob. Why?

I'm sorry. If we pay for it, listen. This guy hates fun and pussy. What if we get him a girlfriend experience with a girl, you won't even know. You won't even know. You'll know. When she takes her wig off and puts it on a lamb, A strange hot girl just comes up to me and is immediately interested in me.

In a dress, way overdressed for the situation of bumping into you in Astoria. Dirty fingernails. Oh, I also go to this bodega to buy protein. Oh, funny seeing you here. I'm also here to buy a weird drink. I love kale, just kale. I love just kale. Or Jake of Fugge he falls and he starts seeing the Dreamweaver fog when she goes,

It's a cheat day, so I'm getting some grape nuts. Dream we've a, I believe you can get... No, in a second, if for some reason an unusually attractive woman just started talking with me. I don't know what kind of money you think they're paying us over here, but I don't know how unusually attractive she's going to be. She's going to be pretty mediocre for Queens. Yeah. You're going to get a Queen 6. She's going to be 40 with a faded bam-bam tattoo on her titty.

Yeah, you're going to get a Queen 6 or a Tampa 8. Let me ask you question. She's going to be wearing like some type of Panther material, too, by the way. Yeah. Some jaguar shirt blouse. Oh, some really, yeah, tacky as shit. Yeah, she's definitely going to have, like, some black dude's name on her butt. I wanted to have dry lips, but heavily lipsticked.

So you see every red line. But the lipstick's in her teeth, too, because she did have lunch. It's also a little on her teeth. Hey, let me ask you a question. Is there a movie? Wasn't there a movie where somebody did that, but they fell it? Was there, like, they, the, the girl? girl fell in love with him. Is that a movie?

True romance. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I couldn't believe it's what he was asking. We've made this reference to this situation before. I'm sorry. Hey, bro. Listen, man. You get Alabama. I'm in. I've only had one sip of my body brain coffee today. So just cut me a list. So it only got your body, hasn't hit the brain yet. He hasn't hit the brain, dude. Take that

brain sip. There he is. What's up, man? Now he's back in the game. My favorite movie too. Body brain? Yeah. Dude, yesterday, I couldn't remember the town I live in in New Hampshire. New Hampshire. I was trying to, like, go, I like to go to the real estate app and just look at houses. Zillow?

I go to, it's called Realtor. Okay. Zillow, I like, but I like Realtor a little better. Okay. It's just, the functionality, Jay, is a little better. All right. And I do love saying the word functionality. I like that, too.

I like hearing it come out of your mouth. Functionality. Yeah. And I was trying to go to this place, and I'm like, where do we, what's the town I live in? in fucking hands I couldn't come up with it I couldn't fucking You have it now

I have it now It's the lake right It's it's one of the lakes But it's the town on the lake Because I like to look to see if anything's You know Somebody died You know there's a lot of old people up there

Trying to take over a property I'd love to take over someone's property Yeah What are you gonna do with your tiny house I'm like cute shed? I got I want another piece of land up there I want land I want like 50 acres

I want to like go up there on like a ATV or dirt bikes or camp out on it hunt on it i want a piece of land i want real land you know what i mean j because man i want to i want land you keep saying that but the the the answer to the next question you can just be the same answer because i want to i want to be able to go on my land and camp on it hike it work it i don't want to work it i'm not going to fucking i'm not i'm not going to do like crops and shit i just want to be able to go go and camp on it, hunt on it, dirt bike on it, make a trail. You know, just have a nice piece of land.

No. Why? Everything you named was something you do when you are. What's the nice way to say this, Lou? Substantially younger than you are? No. You're going to fuck yourself up on an ATV so bad. You're never going back to your land again.

And you're going to try to sell it back to the engines. And I call them engines still. I haven't forgiven them. You shouldn't. They were savages. Right? They were. Why did they get such a pass?

Just as we stole their land and took all their stuff. Yeah, we actually wound up beating them because we used their tactics. Did you know that, Jacob? You had to get savage, defeat a savage. Yeah, dude. We were fighting, and we'd slap him the face with a white glove, and they'd just stab us.

And then eventually we just said, hey, guys, three dog knights playing in the lions down of this casino, you guys want to own it? And they went, yes. I would love to. First they went, how? How? It's your land.

Isn't a Vince Neil playing there? Two original members of Ambrosia are playing in the Lions Day in this evening. How funny is it that when you go there and you see the white lady with a 1% Cherokee on the wall? It's the best. This is Doris. Yeah, Doris Bearfoot. Yeah, Doris Sullivan. Her great, great, great grandma was raped in a raid, a Cherokee raid.

Man, I want to get arrested up there so bad. go in front of the High Council. I would love that. I would love to be to have to submit to, like, Indian, Native American punishments. You'd have to go in the parking lot and just stay there for a week until you saw a wolf.

Maybe that. Go work in the denim jacket factory. What if it's that cool one where they put the hooks in your tits and they hang you until you have a vision? Until you have a vision. You need to go until you have a vision. Maybe a vision quest.

Could I be sentenced to a vision quest all I have? Sure, yeah. I didn't pay for that drink. Maybe I could, maybe a vision quest would be what would handle this. You do that. You have to take your chain to nowhere, melt it down, and make some type of Indian, like a feather. Man. A metal feather. I do feel like you guys would respect me so much more if I came in here with like a full wolf on my head and back.

Just like his fangs were coming over my eyes. It's my favorite haircut for women, the wolf cut. You see the wolf cut? No, like a giant wolf. No, there's a thing called the wolf cut. They're giving girls now? No, you don't like this. I do.

I think I know what it is. I like it. I just saw it on the subway and I almost said, hey, nice wolf cut. Did you watch Tass? I didn't know if she had a wolf cut or she was just Jewish. Did you watch TASK? No, I couldn't get back into it. I went to Night Agent.

You switched off of it? Because you set me up wrong. You both set me up that it's fast. It goes from the beginning. Bobby, you watched an episode. It's crazy what you're saying. I watched an episode. But you said it was fast.

But you said it was like action and oh my God and right from the get go. I didn't even say it was a ton of action. I said the story's intense and it gets like right away. By episode three, they're resolving things that you thought were going to be the final thing. I heard it wrong. I thought it right from the get go is going to be like, holy shit. And it took a long time to get in the action. Night age is awesome.

And this haircut blows. Fuck you. The wolf cut? You like boys, dude. So what? These guys look like fucking Jakey Lee. You love coming on boys' fame. There's a song, yeah, you do.

No, no, no. Little boy to come in my face. It's a different. You're right. That's not as bad. I want that little boy to come in my face. It's different. I want that little boy to come in my face.

Wow. I sure do. You really hit that note too. No, Jacob. It's a terrible haircut. Just for the next time, Jacob, I just know how the song goes. It goes, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-you. you.

Bump, bum, bum, bump, bump, bump you. Bum, bum, bump, you. First one. I love it. This haircut sucks. It's very in style, and it's very ugly. I love it. It's a really awful trend.

It reminds me of the 80s. Reminds me of girls in the 80s. Is that... Like guys in the 80s? Is the men? No, girls in the 80s, jerk. You mean the dudes? No, I said girls.

I'm not going to say it again. But you meant guys. Well, some of the guys. Bon Jovi? Yeah, you look a chick who looks like Billy Squire. I like a chick who dances like Billy Squire Was that Was that niece in the first episode of TAS?

Bobby didn't even watch one episode I watched one episode And it was fucking Mark Rufiel Whatever his name is Ruffalo Ruffalo whatever And he was fat and tired And depressed

Why is his weight weighing on you so much In watching this? Because I know him from Hulk The Hulk I know him from other movies And now it's like he's this Depressed

sad fucking oof in the whole first episode right yeah and the other guy with his family they were all I mean one other guy the other guy that is the trash guy that's going criminal and I'll give you this family his niece has the wolf cut

his niece yeah not have the major character she does not have the wolf cut okay fine she's not a wolf cut that's a dyke cut no can I say that it's the haircut that's the haircut that's a lesse the same shitty haircut you like that is not a wolf cut that is that is a fucking uh redneck dude that's a redneck cut it's over the ears dude the wolf cut buddy wolves don't no it's like it's this wolf cut right now that's not a wolf cut a wolf cut a wolf cut a wolf cut a why is it under

latest wolf cut idea first of well i don't know why i'm being attacked by everyone because you think that's sexy that is sexy i can't have my own opinion you can do first of all buddy hang on a different place now you can love who you love i like this wolf cut i like a wolf cut And I don't like boys. Unless they have a wolf cut. No, that's not what I'm saying. I got my glass bag on. I've always liked men.

Yeah, there it is. That's evidence. Sounds like the make. That's AI. That's 100% AI. Who said it? Bobby looks pretty girls, but with ugly hair. I love, you don't like the blonde right there in the middle.

That haircut. I love it. It looks like she's in our fucking rat video. No. I mean, this looks like a wig. I don't like. like that one that's not the wolf do curly is there all wolf cuts do curly wolf cut i like a curly wolf cut these weird things that come around the cheek yeah like a wolf made this

popular but a lot of the select like lady gaga had her hair like this so you're not gay you want to fuck a wolf maybe that's it oh is that better you should just say that you should uh that one down when you and have sex you just say uh you should ask her a wolf out huh i feel like it is an era of women doing A lot of things to purposely be unattractive. Yeah, they don't get raped anymore. They're done with it. Maybe, I mean. Maybe.

They really stumped him with that one. Maybe. But the hair? He really froze. Why would a girl try to make herself ugly? Christine, can you go to curly wolfcutt, please, without an attitude? Thank you. Bobby, there's so many of these are curly.

Those aren't curly. Those are straight wolf cuts. Oh, it's even ugly. Not one of these girls has straight hair. What? Oh, my God. Not that, don't. Yeah.

Ew. No, you don't like that, Bobby. No, you're lying. What are we seeing? I love it. I look to a girl with unwashed hair. No, it's not unwashed. It's a wolf cut, and it takes a long time.

And it's a, look at that. I love it. You love it. I do. Look at that. By the way, you said that in the gayest way you could have said that. I did not say it in the gay way. You did.

You did. You went, I love it. I didn't say that. Isolate that tomorrow? No. Thank you. No. I like it.

How would you describe this hairstyle, though? I love it. I'm going to describe it right now. I don't understand how to describe this. It looks. It looks. So it's, it's coming down almost like wolf hair.

Like it's, it's like, yeah. Describe it without saying wolf anymore. It's like, all right. What it is is it's, now the curly one is the one I like.

It's wild. It's untamed. It's like she got out of a, like a pond or a river and just shook it off. Bobby, it's just left of a mullet. It's ratty. It's really,

ugly haircut that's that's you I like a long wolf cut I'll get specific with you I like a long curly wolf cut Bobby wants to fuck Uncle laser like that that's nice right there I like nice curly you like that you like that's wearing a wig and she has cancer no it doesn't get a cancer girl who hasn't gotten an expensive wig down scroll down look at that I love look at that I like it I like it I like it I like a nice wolf cut Bobby did Dawn do a dramatic haircut over the weekend you're trying to convince yourself I love it. Don did not do anything dramatic over the weekend, the year. The past six years, she has not done anything dramatic.

I think she did dramatic is get her fake boobs taken out. That's pretty dramatic. Saw her naked for the first time yesterday in a little while. Aw. She looks really cute. And her new old boobies, I like them. Look good. She looks good.

I hate that these sweaters are come. I forgot to bring the sweaters in. Fuck. We're supposed to wear those shit today. I know, but it would have been too cool with the glasses. I'll bring them in tomorrow. They may have been too cool too. I'll bring him in.

This haircut is like, I mean, first of all, it's a million percent dependent on the face that it's wrapped around. And I'll tell you, on most faces, every one of these girls, that girl right there looks noticeably worse with the fucking hair you wanted to have. It's the hair like the girl in stranger things. It's very 80s. Exactly. And when was my peak bang time? The 90s and 2000s? 80s, 90s.

Oh, on record. On record. 80s, 90s, and that right there, maybe that's it. Maybe it's a, it brings me back to when... Those trash sluts you'd fuck. Yep.

Those garbage RV dwellers. But that's a good reference. That might be. That's being brought up that, that anorexic chick on stranger things that... Yeah, who is really, really ugly because of her haircut. I don't. She does not have a wolf cut.

She has curly hair. She got a wolf cut. It's not the ugliest thing in the world. 100% not a wolf cut. Bobby, you're not the expert on wolf cuts because you like one girl having it. First of all, I watched the whole thing on what a wolf, what it takes to get a wolf cut. Why? Because I like wolf cuts.

Ooh. Bobby, that girl right there is far more attractive on the left with her regular flat hair. No, that's just regular fucking now hair. That's flat on the top and curly. Oh, you're right. Yeah, this girl looks great. Nice wolf cut. That's not a wolf cut.

That's a goof cut. I hope they start getting perms too. Yeah, what else are you going to get into? What else are you going to get into? into what other weird haircut you get into bobs i wouldn't mind a perm i don't mind you you hate a perm i don't yeah probably are you scratching your both um i did scratch my balls i was good through the pocket i threw through the pocket i like that a little scratchy that's classy now her her hair is not gay her hair is not a wolf cut because it's flat on top and curly on the sides who a wolf cut is wild

all over that's a wolf cut it's not a wolf cut the picture she has up with that Natalie die why they're popular is because of this show. Probably. That's not a wolf cut. You got wrapped up in a teen fad from stranger things. That is not a wolf cut. I deny.

No, she got a wolf cut by the end there. Maybe the last season is wolf cut, Bobby. Maybe last season. Well, that one's... I mean, that's a wolf cut. Look at that. That's a wolf cut. That's 100% of wolf cut.

And that's the last season. Nancy Wheeler. And, yeah. You know your girl looks like she's wearing a fucking Russian winter hat. Side flaps. Why don't she tie her hair? under her chin it's just a wild cut it's it's it's everywhere it goes anywhere and everywhere it's real ugly I'm gonna start drawing wolf cups with charcoal the girl in task is almost

pulling off like like you could probably make it sexy if you have like a whole look going with it what the niece yeah the sister whatever she is she does not there you go Bobby that that's a that's a that looks like a wolf no that doesn't there's your wolf bitch it looks like a German wolf that's not a wolf I'm trying to find some old like like 1980s. Right there in the middle. Yeah. Oh, I love it.

Yeah, that's why you like it. Oh, I remember one of my first girlfriends, Denise, Denise C had a, had a crazy wolf cut. Sebastian Bach, dude. He's got a wolf. That's not a wolf cut. That's a fucking, that's a teased wolf. That's not a teased wolf. Yeah, there is.

You're making that up. That's what Christine's an expert on. Yeah, teased wolf. You're not, first of all, you're not expert on teen wolf, teased wolf. Teased wolf. And you, you think I don't know how to tease wolf cut? You have regular American Indian here. here you have

Armenian I'm not native well I check your me 24 or 5 of me whatever the fuck it is I think you have American you have the cheekbones you have the nose and you have the attitude of an American Indian yeah of a native yeah

23 and me 23 and me and you love looking to this Jay was staring me down through sunglasses I'm just going to fact check you dude that's a wolf cut that's not a wolf cut that's a wear wolf cut That's a werewolf cut.

Christina's an expert on the teased wolf. She's not an expert on any of these haircuts. I've never seen her with anything but her hair that she has now. She had bangs at one point. Well, I mean. She got extreme bangs. Yeah, I had a real extreme hair cut for a while. None of these are wolf cuts.

Get them off the screen. They're all wolf cut. That's not a wolf cut. Then why is it called trendy wolf cut hairstyle? Oh, that one might be, but you just happened to pick the other ones weren't. Oh, to the left. I had a style of a wolf cut, Amy's wolf cut. 80's wolf cut.

Ooh. I would have got a wolf cut. If I let my hair grow, I would have got a wolf cut. Why don't you wear a wolf cut wig on the show? That's not a wolf cut. Even though that does look very wolfy. That just looks like really nice hair.

That's just like feathered hair. That's feathered. The feathered. That's a feather. Well, I think the wolf cut idea is that it goes different directions. It goes crazy. Like a wolf. I think very specifically it goes like back.

They make pieces go back and then piece go forward. Yeah. back and forward but it's ugly most of the time almost 100% of the time I did I I I I beg to disagree and I'll beg you beg to differ I can beg to disagree or you can agree to disagree I can beg no dude first of all I like you don't have to beg me to disagree I'm begging you to disagree you don't have to please you don't have to beg me you could just disagree please I don't want this Jay you don't need me you don't need my permission Jay let me disagree I'll allow it.

Thank you. Oh, look, you're getting these wolf color. It's a really easy haircut. Oh, really? It's not an easy haircut. It's not an easy. It is easy. Anyone who do it because it's a bad haircut.

It's what normally people go, oh my God, I fucked up. It takes skill to get a wolf cut. You cannot just do a wolf cut. Or just the bite of the liking itself. That's true. My hair got was a little wolfie with things. Your hair's, it was when I had it.

With all this wolf talk, could you play Michael Jackson transforming over these wolf cuts? Look at that wolf cut. That's a sexy wolf cut. You didn't think that was hot? No. Come on. What kind of haircut do you like? What's your favorite haircut?

Long hair. No. What's your favorite haircut? If you had a picker. Long hair. Is that somebody getting a wolf cut? Yeah. When they realize what a wolf cut is?

They're turning. All right, we're done. They just realized they look like a boy and only Bobby's interested in them now. Oh, wow, my soul. You said get a wolf cut. This is a wolf cut. Listen.

First thing is first. You have to get bit by the werewolf. He goes, do not bring an amulet or anything that will reverse it. Yeah, that's an ugly haircut. But again, if you have a smoking, hot chick rocking it, who's going to care? but I mean like It depends on the haircuts

Can't make the girl This haircut will never make An unattractive girl No fucking way Well what hair Makes an unaddractive girl attractive? Long hair When you can cover that face

Well just as you could shape your face With the hair a little bit You don't think that shapes a face It does makes it one shape Fucking if you have chubby cheeks It's the worst Well you look a fat girl Can't get a wolf cut

She's gonna look like a fuck I'm talking about chubby cheeks She's gonna look like one of those Swedish cows Can you bring up fat chicks with wolf cut? I don't see what it looks like. Did Michael Jackson have like, now I'm thinking I have like an Afro wolf cut for a man? Is that positive?

No, he had it. He had Jerry curls. And it framed his face. Yeah, I would say. He just had long, like, fucking frizzied fucking. He had so much chemicals in his hair. Janet might have had a wolf cut for a minute, a wolf wig. Janet Jackson, in pleasure,

Principal is a little bit of a wolf cut. Is it a wolf cut or wolf wig? Is that her hair? I don't know. I don't get into a black woman's business like that. No should I. But Pledge Principle's a little bit of a wolf cut for sure. A little bit of a wolf cut.

Yeah, I love that hair. That's a definite... Ooh, I love it. Yeah. This is her... That's a wolf cut. But she's Janet Jackson, dude. Okay, but I'm saying...

You're saying that... You're saying that I like ugly girls with wolf cuts. I'm telling you... I like a pretty girl with a wolf cut. I'm telling you... far from the sexiest Janet Jackson's ever look with her hair. You're crazy. Far from.

Crazy. Okay. I think this is the sexiest Janet Jackson we got. Are you out of your mind? What's the sexiest Janet Jackson? That's the way love goes? Where was this guy? I loved that.

I used to listen to this in rehab. Yeah. I thought you always said that this was your favorite version of Janet. Oh, thank you. Always. Because I didn't really know her. I went back on this. I do like if.

Thank you, Christine. You don't thank Christine. I'm going to thank Christine one more time. Christine just said something. wrong. I said, this is my favorite, Janet Jax. This is the cutesy thing that I thought when I got into Janet Jackson. It's not the sexiest Janet Jackson ever looked by far. This is my favorite Janet Jackson, too. But you said it's the sexiest she's ever been. It's not. To me. It's not to me. But to me. Okay. I'm going to change that. I'm not going to change that. She was like

and that's the way love goes to you. I hate when you go, it's not. This was her sexiest. One million percent of the people will say this. You think she's way more out of here. Bobby. Hang on, let me just see her. Come on, Bob. You forget J-Lo's in the video. Can you go back to that a little bit? Was there just a wig on a stand in the background? Probably. But do you think Janet Jackson isn't leaps and bounds hotter here by all measurements? There's a wolf cut hanging on a chair in the background.

I swear to God, dude. Her hair from the last video was right there. That's fucking crazy. I've never noticed that. Because J-Lo's there. I think she's pretty in this But she's too What is she too Bobby? Hot? No, she's two

Golden perfect skins She just found the right exact thing Before they made themselves look freaky This is technically hotter Than pleasure principle You know why? She has long hair Yeah, and if you undid it

It would be a wolf cut No, it'd just be long hair Or just be long blonde hair Now here's a thing That's all a wig Yeah, that comes off That's like a baseball hat Bobby, I'll tell you that here's the best way to put it

You take a bald black woman I know because I watch the bannies They're all bald They're all cornrows down there When those wigs come off Every one of them Looks severely less attractive Than when that fucking wig is on

And the wig is always long hair Never a wolf cut Do you know how expensive a wolf cut wig is Not more expensive than these things It's probably the most expensive wig A wolf cut wig dude How would you know that? You're in the wig biz?

I looked it up. I was thinking to get a wolf cut... You got a crazy weekend. I was trying to get a wolf-cut wig. We can get you one. I know we can get you one. You get me a wolf-cut wig. I'll wear it.

Janet Jackson. My personal opinion is pleasure principle. That's what I like. That's what I like. That's not what you said. I said that's my favorite Janet Jackson. No, you took that for me when I said. No, I said it first.

Didn't I say it first? You said this is the sexiest. This is the sexist. And then I said to me, I was in rehab, and this is when I fell in love with her. I fell in love with her, too. Black cat. That's when I lost my virginity. To a black cat?

No, to the video, Black Cat. Somebody you called her? Some Black Cat. Yeah, Black Cat. Is that a name? Some black guy came over and fuck me. Yeah, she was super sexy in this dumb video. What is this one?

She's sexy because she's wearing that same thing that Bon Jovi wore around his neck, that fucking American Indian. neck thing. Well, she's sexy because she's in crazy shape and her tits and ass and face. Wait, Lou, you lost your virginity to this song? Yeah. No, it's a black cat.

Black cat. Well, I discovered masturbation. Oh. Oh, I see. So cute. Wait, did you call losing your virginity masturbation? Yeah. Do you think that's what it is?

Well, no, but... You've lost it since, right? Yeah, I've lost it. Okay. So you're saying the first time you masturbated was to a song. Yeah, I joke off to MTV all the time. Yeah, and then you told your friend, you lost your virginity?

No, I said it. I misspoke, but yeah, that's when I discovered Jizz. Nice. What it tasted like? She was pretty, her body looked good here, didn't love her hair. When you first jizz, what did you do? Her silhouette looks like Michael Jackson. I went.

Wait. Yeah, this video has too much of her with like shoulder pad. She looks like Arsenio Hall half of this video. Yeah, I couldn't control it. No, I got you because here's the thing. Right there is what you saw. And I think she whips her shirt off towards the end. Black bra.

This and that's what really got me going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had the black bra. I do remember that. And that is a... Oh, she was a huge star, huh? Yeah. Still is.

Not so much anymore. If she tore, she starts to do MSG and shit like that. Yeah, you think. She just did it, right? Yeah. She did it like two years ago. How's she looking? Is she looking all right?

I think she looks all right. I mean, it's... Josh one said it was great. I know he says that about every concert he goes to, but... Every single fucking... This is the best sandwich. When he told me, Kurt and whatever the fuck his name is from tears for fears, it never sounded better, and it might be the top five shows ever.

I mean, Josh. How can I take anything you say seriously? You told me tears for fears. You knew three fucking songs like everybody else there. Everything he does is the best ever. The best call? This is the best call me I've ever had. Yeah.

Yeah, I like the song. A little pointed down belt. I'm going to do. The pointed down belt buckle. Yeah. Have you ever done it? Oh, my God, yeah. Underneath, loop it up.

Yeah. Down through. Back with the belt buckle with the big metal buckle and then the metal tip. Yep. The little arrow. Metal tips the whole thing, yeah. I did that too. I love it.

I think that's a wolf cut, by the way. So your first masturbation. Your first jizz, Lou, was a wolf cut. I was wolfing out. He wasn't looking at her cut, dude. He was looking at her fucking round dumper. Yeah. And then her tities when she rips off her shirt.

She didn't mash herself into a pair of jeans, didn't she? Yeah. With that stomach? Flat stomach, big booty. Now, is that a wig? Yes. Yeah, everything. I cannot tell when there is a wig ever.

Well, that's the point. Probably weave more than wig. I don't say you're ripping a shirt off anywhere Maybe just when it opened up and you saw the black brawl That was enough Michael Jackson Michael Jackson Maybe you jerked off for the first time to Michael Jackson

Might just be a one shot screen thing too They show her doing it for a second But I could have sworn she did too No I guess she doesn't I think right at the end No I don't think she does now Maybe I'm thinking of dirty Diana Nope

Uneventful Fuck no Well hey man Whatever whatever fucking get your load out I did find us some wigs. Ooh. Some wolf cuts for Bobby. I'll tell you which one I like.

Yeah, all the way on the left. No. By the way, because that girl's really pretty. So you'll just go, sure, wolf cut until you change that to something else. That one in the middle there. I like that one. You like that.

No, I don't like that. Yeah, you do. You like a crud bitch. I don't like that. That's some fucking theater bitch. That's like a stage hand. You like a bitch. You look like a bitch.

She looks like she carries a back pocket wallet. Scroll up. At least she carries a wallet. Not just the chain. I carry a wallet. But not in your back pocket. No, it's bad for your nerves. Scroll down in the middle.

Spinal alignment. I'm just lashing out now, Jack. Scroll up, up, right in the middle. Stop, right there, over to the left. Right there. That's nice. What are you seeing? I like that.

I'm gonna get a... Another stupid wolf hair cut? No, it's not a wolf. It's shoulder length, wolf cut. It's all over the place. A little curly. It says, I just got out of an abusive relationship.

No, it's what it screams. It's like I just got out of a pool and I didn't blow dry my hair and I'm on vacation I'm just flipped it dry. It's so done. I had sex. That's how I dried my hair. Yeah, you're... You want stupid slut hair? Yeah, I like stupid slut hair. Just cum and sun. Yeah, come sun. That's what I like.

You see this TikTok handle here? No. Wolfcut for chubbies? Oh, no. Oh, God. There you go. Is that what I have to jump on if I get this way? There you go, Bobby. I need to watch your videos. She has fluffy chin. What a gaggle of pigs. Yep.

Christine, could I please see a fat person getting a wolf cut, please? getting one or having one and talking about how they're psyched about it wolf cut now this is a chubby christine's from and you can tell she's chubby because she's wearing a tarp around her body um god this poor girl it's gonna be a big fucking wolf yeah you gotta be careful being that fat with a wolf dude you might get be hunting season we had a wolf get to downtown L.A oh come on get to the of this. Yeah. I want to see the final

I don't want to see the boring as shit. Oh God, it's a guy. Oh, there you go. She didn't give her a wolf cut. She gave her. No, that's like an

Eskimo cut. It looks like a wolf. It looks like Jack Nicholson's wolf. It looks like wolf. Jack Nicholson turned into wolf. It's not very wolfy, dude. They're not done yet. That's it.

No. No. Good. Oh, look at you. Can't. Now you're a fat. You went from being a fat girl to a fat gay guy.

Congratulations, lady. Oh my Christ Bobby I love it You saw one girl you liked with it No I've seen a couple I like it I follow a wolf cut

How did you find out it was called a wolf cut Because I watched a bunch of There it is right in the middle of the girl right there Right walking oh look at that That's a wolf cut Bobby that's a lot lizard That is not a lot so what It's just a plus size batty obsessed with her new wolf cut

That is a wolf cut right there It's curly It goes everywhere. It's shoulder length, a little long, it's long. Goes down in front of her face. Look her fucking armpit cleavage. I love it. Narnly.

I love that wolf cut. Oh, she has to pull her hair out from her armpit. Oh, God. She's a pig. She's not a pig. Thanks, Jacob. I don't even know she's a pig. She's wearing of leopard.

She's a pig. There's a short, a telltale sign of being a pig if you have leopard. Not necessarily. But leopard plus wolf cut, plus taking a video shooting up like this with your stupid son. glasses on and definitely not showing your big fat body is a pig. Oh, look at those jujubis. Look at her.

She's cute. I like that. I like that hair. She thinks her farts are funny. It's funny because I've always drawn when I used to draw all the time and sketch. I always used to sketch. Fat women? No.

Oh. I think you like that fucking, like that Spanish artist. Who's that? Who's that? Who just makes all the big fat people? Everyone's fat? You never seen that? Bolero?

Oh, no, I haven't seen Bolero. I used to always sketch, and I'm just realizing this, a girl, like half her face. But the other half was a wolf cut, I guess. Botero. Botero. You mean all the guys that look like me? They have that at the cellar as you're walking up to the studio.

They have a boatero, whatever it is. It just looks like a bunch of me's or whatever. My ex-wife's mom used that. It looks like a me party. My ex-wife mom had pictures of these. Big fat, round people with circle mouths. Yeah. With a little teeny circle mouths.

That guy does look like it. You scroll up. Right to the right. Yeah. You know, he never drew up. That looks like you. It does like me. That's 100% you right now.

It could be me. Look at the sides. The side of his hair. That could be an interpretive picture of me for sure. Yeah, the lines on the side. He's painting because you know you're an artist at heart. If he threw the beard going like just, up the neck to the ears.

It would be fun. It looks like I think that's a self-portrait. Oh, I look like Patero? Classic me. Oh, look at that. Is you wearing gloves? This is when I was on it. There's me on a swing.

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. And you should dress like two little fat English school boys one day. Just me and Bobby dress like Angus Young for no reason? One of those things that German people wear? Leaderhusen? Yeah, we can see Liederhusen. Some socks that go up to our... No, I really like it's dressed like fucking Angus Young

and little short, little velvet shorts. And little little caps. You should have dress-up day. I like the day when we did Cowboy Day. We all dressed. Me walking from the garage here with a cowboy hat and full cowboy. It felt good, didn't it?

It felt the looks you'd get. Yeah. Even the bad ones. The confused ones. Oh, yeah. Like, that's not a real cowboy. And then you got to go, you get my little finger guns. I just tip my hat.

Howdy? Howdy. Howdy? These are all the self-portraits. Yeah. He drowned people. You look exactly. That's what you like.

You like wolf cuts on that fucking body? No, I like wolf cuts on pretty girls with long curly hair. I don't like a straight wolf cut as much as I like a curly, long... So now we've gotten to heavy specifics. Well, because I have to. I didn't think that you were going to... I was going to be attacked for the wolf cut. Well, I feel like you didn't know before this moment that there's 75 different wolf cuts.

Oh, look, look who's got a wolf cut. Stephen Piercy from rat. He doesn't have a wolf cut. Round and round. Yeah, he does. That's just curly hair. Get it right. And he puts all his over to the side.

A wolf cut has to come down like a wolf on both sides. He's got a wolf cut. You have to. It's definitely a wolf cut. It has to. It's not a wolf cut. Total wolf cut. I mean, the bass player might have a wolf cut.

Stephen Piercy, inventor of the wolf cut that Bobby loves so much. This is crazy how Drew Barrymore the child is dressed. Oh, she's slotted up to hang out with Stephen Pearson. It's so weird. It's like a really low-cut leotard with sheer lace over it. I think I'm seeing her nip slips. She's like eight. Yeah, she doesn't

even have, she has like those volcano titties before you hit puberty. You know what I mean? It's wild. Where the nipple is the tit. The rest of the boob. What the fuck? That's crazy. You just said.

You know what I'm saying, though, right? I think so. Yeah, you do. Why is Drew Barrymore hanging out with a rat? She's like 12 years old. She's got some stories. She did some. She did some.

Yeah, that's why now she's so, like, overly wholesome and an emotional wreck at all times. Now, yeah, anything can set her off. You can make her crying a heartbeat. Yeah, she cries. She's a wolf cut. She cries. I'd love to go on and make Drew Barrymore cry.

I just make something up and then be like, nah, I didn't happen. She was 10 in this photo. Oh, my God. to rehab at 11, so she's like you. Oh, boy. If she's like me, then she's got some problems. Yeah.

You guys both now enjoy a wolf cut. She liked it before I did, though. I bet you guys both now like that show, The Madison, so you can cry together to each other. Dude, that show. Let me tell you something. This weekend, we went to Broadway, went to a play.

Dawn, Max in school, is reading The Outsiders. That's the book he's reading. So, Dawn, instead of watching the most, movie, she said, I got tickets to the Broadway show, The Outsiders. And I said, it's a dialogue thing, right? It's not a sing-songy thing. She goes, no, I think it's dialogue. I was like, okay, let's go. That sounds great. So we went, she got second row. And I was like, these are great seats. You see you know, it says real big on the billboard, outsiders, the musical. I didn't see it, didn't know about it. I'm just going. And I said, hey, this is a

a dialogue type thing like Bronx Tale, you know. Yeah, she says, I think so. So we sit down, great seats, second row on the outside. First. So we could go pee. And then it opens up

just pony boy sitting on a tire with a spotlight on him. And he's the first. And I was like, I just, I was like, Being in a game sure is tough. I just, We're a couple of rough and tumble. guys but we got a song in our heart

Dallie's coming home from work I looked right in her face and I was like you mother she goes oops and then and then I'm reading on the pamphlet it says may get wet Why don't you read on the ticket where it says outsiders the musical? I didn't have to look on her phone I thought it was going to be like a dialogue cool thing and then I'm sitting there and I'm like I know they're going to make this a diverse because the

Outsiders is, it's a white movie. It has to be. Well, it wasn't. Of course not. It wasn't. I want you to guess who did they... By the way, I don't know if the problems would be the greasers versus Sochus if there was black guys involved also.

You want to see the greasers and the Soci's team up? Hey, did you see you just moved in the neighborhood? What? All right, guys, we got to bury our bullshit here for a second. Greasers, we're going to need you on the front lines and we're going to try to figure out run these motherfuckers out back here with our rich parents. We're going to use our Corvettes to run them over if they get past you. And then you guys bring the chains, the baseball bets.

Guys, everybody in Soches and fucking soces and greasers together. I want you to guess which one of the outsiders was the... Soda Pop. Diverse hire. You say soda pop? Christine, who do you guess? I don't know outsiders at all. What?

I was just going to ask if this is this like West Side Story? Like, it's just... Well, now it is. It's white West Side Story. Yeah. Well, no. It's not. West Side Story the movie.

It wasn't. It is now. It is now with the songs. Jacob, who do you pick? What do you mean? Who do you think was the diverse hire on the greasers? Pony boy? Okay, you say soda pop.

Who do you say, Lou? I say pony boy. Dally. Yeah, that makes sense. Dally was a big, almost chubby black dude. Really? He gets shot, though. Not in this one.

Oh, they can't do that. Can't do it. Can't do it. So you cast a black guy, and now you can't have him be shot by the cops. Can't have a... No. Nope. And, and, and they had just a random black girl on the greases, too, hanging out.

Really? Yeah, and it was supposed to be the 67, by the way, which would have never happened. No, totally. I mean, never. But they had a random black girl. Do you think they were always thirsty, those two? Because they always had to go to white water fountain places? I'm like, sorry, guys.

I'll try to see if I can get you a cup. Every show. Every movie is, it's insane that this goes on. Dally. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry. Dally, when he came out, I'm like, not Dally. Because they were coming out and I was like, not Dally, please not Daly.

Because I knew it was coming. Not Daly. Sure enough. I think he was either. What it is, y'all? Yeah. I'm Dally. He's hanging out with my white friends.

Shooting the shit, being greases and what have you. But the Sosches, not one, all the same white dude over and over again. Absolutely. They didn't take it too far. No. E.E. I hires over there. Not on the soches, but on the greases. Greasers take what they can get. They had a black dally and just some random black chick

that was dancing around. Her name was also Black Dally. Black Dally and Black Dally. So, uh... Oh, my Christ. So now, so I'm like, all right. All right. I knew it was going to happen. They shot Johnny, they shot Johnny, man. No, it was more. It was more jazzy. It was more. And he, you know, they funked it up a little bit more. They shot Johnny

That wasn't the one I saw The one This is the original cast No this is not my cast You got the day players You saw a matinee right Saw matinee right You got the day players

And then in the thing it says May get wet So on So there's a rain scene Black people sweat No No Yes

But no But no You're in this splash So So So So the fight scene Is in the rain

Right But the whole floor is little pieces of tire, little small pieces of tire. So when the rain comes down, it goes through the floor and into whatever it catches, right? And none of them really get wet, I guess. But they're dancing. They're doing all these.

And you can't help, but. Oh, God. They start to love it. They start kicking, hang on. They start kicking. They're kicking. So you're getting kicked in the face with rubber tire pieces and water.

I mean, dude, I'm second row. Right in your face. I think I kept... It was all over my face. It went in my eye at one point. Thank God I was wearing glasses. The guy in front of me had like a big Jew fro. It was all in his fro.

He kept having to shake his hair out. We called that a wolf cut. And then... And then I wound up... No. Did I cry? No, you didn't. like this.

How many times do you think I cried? Twice. Bingo. Dude. I... What he's saying? What he's saying? Stay golden.

Pony, boy. That was one of them. Max hated this. Buddy. Hated it. I'm already calling it. You should hate it. I tell you what, Max loved it, but didn't cry.

At one point, I was like, do you not cry at things? He goes, why? I go, do you feel sad? He goes, I do. I just keep. it inside. Stop. I swear to God.

He goes, I just unraveling in front of your boy. He goes, I just keep it inside, Dad. He's not supposed to see you cry. I teared up twice during the golden when Johnny got killed. And he sang the whatever golden song. And then there was another one with Dally.

I mean, the guy who played Dally won me over. He was fucking great. And he sang. He's all being a brother. In an all white game. He didn't mention it, but no one mentioned it, by the way. No one ever... He said he would have come up.

I mean, it might have came up. Like, you know. Might if I stay over for dinner. I'm going to go buy some condoms and then that different con for Dally. How do you think he got killed at the end? It wasn't a gun. They couldn't shoot him. He couldn't do suicide by cop.

They did kill him. They killed them, but how do you think he got killed? Let me guess. Sickle cell. It was a long play. That was a real. That was a real. spit tank.

Heart attack. That was real. No. Right in the middle of the fight. He just grabs his chest. Type 2 diabetes. I'm coming. Weezy, I'm coming.

Elizabeth. Elizabeth. Elizabeth. I'm coming. So, um, nope. Not a hard attack. Okay. Let me keep thinking.

Yeah. The black girl shot him. I know. Okay. I'll keep thinking. The black girl was hilarious, though, because it's like... He drowned in a fishing pond? No.

Okay. All right. I got a few more. I got a few more, I think. Oh, maybe one of the Sosha's or greasers found out that he was interested in one of their sisters. Oh, let me guess. A Sosch father found out that he was at their house for a party.

No. Okay. All right. Okay. No. Not cops. Not cops. You can say not cops.

I'll make sure I get that there. Now, it wasn't cops. Mm-hmm. And it wasn't the greasers. finding out anything. Tidepod challenge. You got to be twice. Tide pod challenge. No, it wasn't Tide pod.

Okay. No. He did add this to the songs. All the other songs were very theatrical. You know, and the sun comes up. But he added a little funk to it. My name is Dally, now I'm here to say. I'm playing a white character in a major way. I got a big dick.

I got different hair. But y'all motherfuckers in the audience don't care I stab him with a knife. I fucked his wife. All right. I can't think. How does it? No, I want to keep guessing. Come on, now. Playing. Water park. Waterpark mishap. No. Jacob?

Yeah, I was going to say drowning because Bobby wasn't the hero. Okay, I got it. He jumped on a trampoline. There was Velcro above him. Oh, my God. His hair hit the Velcro. ripped his fucking head off of his shoulders. No. No, not a Velcro

trampoline accident. Fell downstairs, stealing sneakers. No. Okay. No, he didn't steal sneakers. Come on, you're right there. You're right there. Oh, AIDS.

No, that's rent. Oh, that's right. Very similar. Well, I was wondering how much they gade this thing up. Let me tell you something. Well, they didn't gade up enough to have AIDS take out the only black character.

Well, they didn't have AIDS back then. That's back when you can just come yeah um he just dump loads and girls remember that yeah Satan started making guys fuck each other's butts yeah oh the good old days you just jason got involved um no no but you're close you're close okay okay let me think you're close end of the movie oh did he johnny's dead do you do the thing where he leaned over johnny yeah and sucked his death into his mouth and then went outside and gave it back. But eventually, too much of doing that,

wore on his own body, and then he died? No. No. I thought maybe it was John Coffee style. No. Like the drink, but not spelled it. How do you do? Ah.

Oh. Oh. Bha. All right, so he wasn't green-miling people. It wasn't green-minded people. I got something. I got something. Hung himself in a prison cell.

No, it didn't get a, no, it wasn't. He wasn't in prison? He was running. He's already beating the odds. The guy's already beaten the odds. He's ahead of the game. No, but he had been in prison. He was in prison and he was running from the cops.

The cops were looking for him. And Johnny, it's just like, everything is just like the movie pretty much. Falls off a roof. No, does not fall off the roof. But he did help save the kids in the burning church. Which was great.

What a great scene. The fight scene they did was really good. Fire. There's terrible fire. We gotta get into the fire. What about the fire department? They're too far away. The little kids are going to die.

They're going to die today. Johnny, pony boy, and Dally too. Musical stank. Did they have Johnny come out on fire? They did this really cool thing where they held up a sheet. So the whole cast was moving all the props to make things. you know what I mean? So they made a train with like tires.

The whole cast would come out roll out tires with boards and they'd put them on it and they'd roll them back. It was really, it was a good play. It was really well-produced play. Like there was no part where I was like, this stinks except the ending, the ending how Hidalie died sucked. You know, Bobby, I think if you go to two more musicals

and like them, you're going to be allowed to say that word you love so much. Whoa! I know. You mean. I think if you see three Broadway musicals in one calendar year. And one wolf cut. I think you're allowed to say it.

If I get one wolf cut. I think that would be okay. I think you run that to the latter. Can you check with Jim? I want it curly, Christine. Stop giving me a straight wolf cut. You think Christine did that? Jason.

You think Christine Photoshop that quick? Yeah, that's true. I don't know how to do anything. I don't know how to do anything like that. If Christine knew how to do that, I'd be like, where's this been forever? You just put silly haircuts on me? I look, first of all, I look exactly like my mother in the. that photo.

Like a wolf cut. Your mom has a mix of wolf cut. That's why you have an edipus complex. No, my wife never, my mom's never got a wolf cut. I wish Don would get a wolf cut. No, you don't mean that. I love a wolf cut on her. Oh my God, dude.

Love a wolf cut. When she goes to school without you, people are going to ask, where's your other mom? I want you to figure out how he died. One more guess. I'll take the break. Let's take the break. Let's take the break. We should have people call in.

It wasn't diabetes. It wasn't. Close. You went blind, slowly. his heart so pancreatic cancer no did I say sickle cell you said sickle cell that was one of the first ones he was set up by shug night

nope drive by no they didn't have drivebys back then they used knives home invasion gone wrong they used knives back then and they fought they did fisticuffs oh he was beating a death with a car antenna no I know that was a pretty good guess no bobby Kelly oh yeah you do me where is he Bobby one singular sensation

you can see Bobby one singular sensation you can see Bobby doing his stage sticks. I did love the play. Over the comedy. You really did. I did, dude. It got me. Can we go see more musicals? Christine? I'd love to. Oh, nice. You just found your newest gay friend, Christine. Do you want to come next time? Yeah, I do. All right, you're in.

Bobby Kelly's going to be at Mohegan Sun performing in the comedy club. April, 17th and 18th. What the hell else you're going to do? After that he's going to be an uncle Vinnie's. Oh, that's nestled right in New Jersey and Cleveland after Stanford and New Orleans. If you want to get some ticks. Who? Punch up. Oh, I'm wrong part of the song.

Punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly. check out Bobby's new YouTube at Robert Kelly Comedy and every Tuesday night Fat Black Pussy Cat

Big Jokerson's got to be funny moment in November this weekend April 10th and 11th after that he'll be in Nashville for Story Wars and headlining Kansas City for tickets and all the tour days please visit pigjcomedy.com or YouTube.com slash at Big J. Okerson

for all his videos and special. DJ Lou has merch. He's got a brand new t-shirt out at comic wearables.com. I think he has a gambling problem. He needs to make some money. I'm trying to move out of the ghetto.

He's trying to... He's got to start paying child support. Government found his bank account. Yeah. And his Indian girlfriend's like, you have to make money. His girlfriend's telling him he goes, we have to move away from your brother.

We have to move away. My mother wanted doctor or engineer, and I settled for DJ. He keeps telling me that he's you and we have sex together. I don't like it. I don't like it. Perhaps you can sell a shirt or something. It's actually, I hate that photo of me, by the way. It looks just like my mother.

It's a great shirt. DJ Lou, describe it. It's a stick man, pearl jam logo that I redrew to say DJ Lou and the bonfire. It's on comic wearables.com. And also my Instagram, Lou Whitsky, Lincoln Bio. Go get it. I actually like the black one with the red bonfire. Very cool.

Very cool. And what do we get? 10%? Jay? 10% or 15? 50? 50? Do we get 50%, Lou?

I mean, you do make me what I am. But we're really splitting pennies here. Okay. Well, what if it takes off? What if it becomes the hottest new shirt? Then you get a cut. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire!