The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - "Word Up! Get Me A Sandwich" (w/ Nore Davis & Mike Feeney)

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

 Jay and Dan decide to become diehard fans of the WNBA’s New York Liberty! Black Lou and guest Nore Davis discuss their individual styles for getting a mouse out of their house. Jay mistakenly texts his daughter giving up his smoking habits and the younger Oakerson has an inspired response.

You're listening to Comedy Central! BAM! Hey, I'm Big J.O. Persoon, and I'm Dan Soder, and you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8PM on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM.

Hey, it's Black Lou and welcome to the Bond Fire, Special the Week. Jay and Dan decided it was time for them to pick a New York team to root for, and that team is the WNBA's New York Liberty. Listen to now as they make plans to become diehard fans and proud season ticket holders. Let's, should we get super into the WNBA? Yeah. The season's not happening right now. Big time.

Should we get like gambling into the WMBA? Every week? We just pick a game and we go big. Do we gamble each other? Let's get away with WMBA. We don't have to say how much, but we'll be, I'll just put it in a pot every week. You know, lay heavy on one WMBA game,

it's gonna be televised. Yeah, dude, let's, you know how like with Kiki-Co blankets, we kind of were just like, oh, here's a blanket company. Let's do that with the WMBA. Hey, there's this whole woman's league of basketball. What? Tits and balls. Yeah, dude. Oh, I'll check it out. I guess you like perfect fundamental basketball. Yeah. Did I remember an argument? A woman could beat you up doing a thing you can't do.

I remember in middle school this this teacher who was a women's basketball coach tried arguing with his kid my science class that women's basketball is the purest form of the game and everyone was like and everyone was like what the fuck is this guy talking about you know what i get what he's saying i get what he's saying is hilarious white man's approach did he get what he's such a white guy he had like a you know the bowl you know the coldest sack and then like glasses and he had like a fucking sweater vest on and he's like it's the purest form of the game. He's right though. It's strictly and only fundamentals. Yeah

The only more pure thing would be children women Female children. Well, let's get into it. Let's get into the WMBA hardcore hardcore just gambling one game a week and we lay heavy Yes As it wait do we gamble each other or do we show as a show we pick maybe we should do parles That's even more fun. They get three games. Yeah, it's good money. I think it's fun to have ones that we could actually watch No, they should all be televised. Yeah, all the games got to be televised. Yeah, Jacob. Can you get into the WMBA? I? Can do that. Yeah, yeah, all right No, but by the way, he's I can do that. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. No question. By the way, he's been way into it. He goes, yeah, I guess I could probably figure something out. He's been a seven season ticket holder for the New York Liberty. Yeah. Well, doesn't he love Lady Socker? He's like, I go back to Lowebo.

Yeah. You want me to talk about Becky Lowebo? Just under the boards. Beckers Lowebo? Hungry, hungry hippo. Just eating up all those rebounds No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, give me elbow box out perfect form. Yeah, dude. Let's do it. Let's go to a Liberty game It's just let's dominate a Liberty game. Yeah, I'm telling you we could fill the house for a hundred and fifty bucks Yeah, dude. Let's fucking they are giving them away with fucking sandwiches at subway

They can't get anybody in that arena. Let's go. Let's get some free sandwiches from Subway. And let's just be big. Let's do whatever you have to do to get our name on the board. So when they show it, like, I'm actually lucky with the bonfire. We'll go, yeah! Just have a thousand people lose their shit. It's perfect. We got Till May so we can learn the whole roster.

We can learn what the offseason moves are going on. Let's get him to it. Yeah, I like it. I like it Here's the problem with the gambling. I think it's a five game season. Yeah, I'm not if I'm not mistaken It really is it looks a little shorter than an NFL season. It's so short. It's basically two 42 42 games Is it half four? I'm gonna be out there calling a bunch of chicks by their last name Come on Dawkins Dawkins, what are you doing Jones? That was a wide open shot.

Dude, fucking lower your shoulder and put it right in your tits man. Yeah. Fucking take her back. If she wants to take the charge, give her the charge. Come on man. Hey man. Hey man. Dude get that knee right there. Just fucking right there. Just hold her in place. Spread her butt cheeks with your thigh, man. Really get her pussy heat on your knee, bro Get in there with this thing give her leg horsey on her pussy He'd on your fucking knee while you're playing defense through basketball shorts. That's so hot Just musty. Yeah, just like a little fucking hot peening bag. Just doy. Yeah, just a doy thing. You feel the heat of it.

You feel that it's an organ. Oh man, it's like an old man coughing in your neck. But on your knee. Is he getting a knee on there? Oh, you feel he, all of a sudden your knee is just warmer. If you play good defense. New York Liberty, get on board. How much is season tickets?

Fucking $215. Oh, bye. This is Tyra Crew. Bye section, bye. This is tire crew. Bye section 18, bye section 118. Do you think I won't fucking My grandma's taking care of let's fucking get some tickets So that means there's only what how many games is I at home 17 at home? Yeah, 17 away, right? So is a 32 or 34? Yeah, I mean I'm down to get into this

What it would be a blast 34 so whatever I'll tell you what we do. I tell you what we should do. Yeah, we should fucking get a dedicated fucking sweet. Oh, come on with the catering and shit. Yeah, just go just go deck it out and live it, man. We you know what we got a comedy central will pay for via. Come has to have some pole for that. Come on, MSG. Get us a box of socks and gang when they say our name on the lab. Like a big bond five. I mean, we are going lose our shelf. I'll throw somebody out of the suite. Yeah

Dude, I can't wait to be eating having a conversation about work eating hot dogs on a paper plate watching a WMBA game from a box I pulled pork sliders come on Jacob. Do they have boxes? Yeah, no one's in them do celebrity sweet $100 $100 a Hunter a game What you know I'll take two Let's get here to get a membership to the club box for the year is Fucking a hundred dollars. I believe that's per game sure that's seventeen games it doesn't have to says full-season membership

pricing i think the hundred i got you i got you a hundred game so i mean that's fucking cheap what do we have to talk to a comedy central you guys have that money laying around you guys you can't so many a box for the liberty on comedy central ugly americans isn't on there's no philly team at all i can get no more broad city Is it fucking take some of that money and spend it on your Denver team? No, no there isn't no

I and also I need a New York team. No, I'm saying. I don't have any New York teams. Let's get this is our New York team We're getting big deep Liberty deep deep on the Liberty black. Lou. Are you down with Liberty? Now? I know you're saying it's a lot of black women sure is not your thing But I promise you there's a couple of fucking big corn fed fucking thick ass white bitches. Sick white bitches. I mean look for the low post bitches. Oh my god. I'm talking about some real fucking lumber yard ladies. Oh man. Let's let's do this. Fuck yeah. You know I'm bored. Christine. How do you feel about switching coasts coming over to the New York Liberty? I'm gonna Liberty. Lewitsky. I think you're first first team loves watching Lesbos do stuff. Yeah

What about you Lewitsky? I'm all in I used to love Shell swoops all right long team, but okay You don't even have to ask me Jacob. I know you're on board. You're itching to go I just hope you guys can get the other seven seats in my section. Yeah, I guess well I don't know you're gonna you're gonna find out that the the Alice Island. That's what we call our section Give me liberty or give me death. You're gonna a liberty game, we just see Jacob with a dope tread on me. I'm like, you know, alt-right is using that guy. I've been using his sex celebrity, became a team.

God damn, that's so fucking, that's a hilarious idea to just dominate a fucking... Let's do a sweet... If you don't... If you don't... Talk to... Talk to Comedy Central Christine. Who's not afraid of Comedy Central? Talk to them, give them the biz. Ollie, we should even put it through our agents.

Since we're resigning. We want a fucking... Season ticket season ticket. No, no, the whole group is... Season ticket box! Box! Yeah. A catered suite.

For the 2019... I want to eat roast beef sandwiches. To the Sanys? 2020 New York Liberty season. I want to watch 2019 I want to eat roasts and 20s 2020 New York Liberty season I want to watch I want to eat roast beef sandwiches and I want to fucking watch it low scoring Low scoring fucking excitementless basketball And maybe just maybe Maybe we'll get a nebriated enough and at the end if it comes down to its tight

It's like let's say we're deep fourth quarter and it's like 3735 Maybe maybe then I'll go. Oh, let me go. Let me look forward for a second. Yeah, I know when I look up for my Forfeuse again and stop making mimosas when I look up from my phone in the second and late fourth quarter I'm gonna be excited to watch a breakaway pass. Just going for that fucking sick ass lay ups. We've landed. Left handed lay out. Oh, she's about to take off from the line. Nope, the dotted line. Nope. Right into the basket and put it in nice and easy. There's no one for for 10 yards behind her. I think we can get it into this as a joke and then it turns into a thing where you're like, dude, I don't know me and we got the fucking sparks next week.

Oh dude, we can have a talk about it. I can force myself to get involved in the Liberty. Just make us care about them. Just make us care. Liberty we're putting it out to you right now. Make us care about you. Fallen the show, acknowledge us in some way. And now you have a radio show that's gonna just get behind it.

Well, have players on? Feel free. We're gonna treat you like real actual male professional athletes. Am I saying the wrong things? Is it the right things? Is this how you get them? Is it one of those people like to hear? That they're playing a lower form of the game? No, it's fantastic. It's got dunking stupid anyway. Your nails, we could tangled up in the fucking

right in the show. Interim's like about high production value. Yeah. Why is everything gotta be so overly produced? Actually, I'd say maybe let's go a little higher in the production now. Somehow we can bad girls club up this lead and really have some through line stories

and some real head voice. The H1 got involved with the WMBA and somehow did a fucking Bad Girls Club WMBA. Yeah, you're welcome VH1. We just programmed your fucking Sunday nights and we can't get a goddamn suite for an unattended sport. Come on. Come on, dude.

I know what you're thinking. Guys, we're offering you court side. Please, look like someone's there on television, but we want a sweet. We want a lot. I don't want to be forced to look at the game the whole time. Man, if we can get a sweet, we can get a sweet. I'll get a jersey, the one that's cut for a large woman. Not a men's jersey that has the girl thing of the female cut jersey I want to take it in I want to show that I'm hippie I want to really hug my form if you don't think I will be rocking a comfortable New York Liberty hoodie oh yeah well it's summer they don't have winter gear it's a summer sport yeah I didn't know

that it's true there's a whole new thing. It starts on the NBA. Oh, look at that. We're shorts to a basketball game. It was nice. Well, that'll be nice. We go warm weather basketball. It's warm weather. Oh my god.

It's nice. Hey. Oh, OK. Good, good, good. Six are here. How many teams are there? Six. I mean, like six or eight.

Because do all of them make the playoffs? Is everybody going to the playoffs? I mean, everyone gets to go to pizza afterwards. They're not going to eat that much. They're girls, dude. I don't care if they're seven or six. Where do you think I'm going to sell it, Bar? Right.

Where do you get them all kind bars and tell them to go read a book in a window. I'm going to live laugh love. Yeah. bars until I'm gonna go read a book in a window. I'm gonna live laugh love. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Desiree is sitting out with, I'm being told, period cramps. Molly can't play in the second half because she's upset because Kevin looked at her.

Yeah. She's been crying since the athletic coach asked her if she could borrow a DVD and it said this is a one-sided relationship and then she's been locked in the bathroom for the past half hour. There's been low passing between Tanisha and Janice because Tanisha says that Janice has a return to her texts. Oh shit.

Daddy, don't be like that. Fowl, being a bitch. I don't know, you came to me with weird energy. Yeah, personal foul, weird energy. I don't know, I heard you said something to Vanessa by the way. Yeah, but personal foul, talking shit. Hey, it's Black Louigan. Anyone who's had a rodent in their home can agree that it's a pretty traumatic experience

Here the crew discuss with guest Nori Davis their varying methods of disposing of that mouse Well story we never got to he's so masculine He's the only one masculine person on our entire staff. It was a good good segue. We're just all you killed What kind of rodent two mice two two two? Shut up Why did you pick them both up and clunk their heads together? I was at home you where were there were the mice in my kitchen Yeah, they were what swimming in cool aid

Yeah, oh you got you about the stick traps. So when you woke up there was stuck. Yeah, dude suffering Did anyone try to run out of his own fucking body? Because they do it saw me coming. I started moving and like Dude when I worked when I worked at those communities I want their skeletons to break out of their skin They're trying so hard to walk. No, no, I'm out of my house I said this when I worked at those communities we had one of those Sticking traps and the waiters came in to do it and the porters were still around You know clean it for the night before and we they don't catch the porters in the traps Too late for you

Please help me out of here. Hey, look give me your hands. You get to bite your fucking handoff porter You're not getting out of that thing Just dude just I just remember this one of the waitresses went around. It was like, oh my god, there's a mouse. And he just before she could finish walked over, took a shoe off and went, oh, I have to, now, and then put a shoe back on and was like, shink into the trash. It didn't even break stride.

Mike's wife's, uh, made of honor at our wedding was a part, who, I heard killed a mouse, see it was like stepping on it, a girl doing that, that's crazy. That's way too icky for me to handle. How did you, when it happened when you found him, were you like, you just put him in the trash, right?

I put him in the trash, but I put him, like towards the top of the trash and kind of laid it down, and then I just jumped in the air and just, on the trash bag, on the trash bag. Oh, you can eat trash. Oh, dude, that mouse was like, man can't even try. Oh, I'm just gonna do that mouse like. Yeah, man, that's brutal. That is kind of cold, because that mouse,

you think that mouse saw the, you know, the bag shuddering went, thank you, I'll die here in a piece. So the way I killed the mouse in my apartment was last year. I caught it, it was between my desk and I put it between the dust pan and the broom. Okay. I live on the 17th floor. And so I went to the balcony and I just let them go.

No. And I'm happy. I remember we did. Sorry, Jacob's part. Damn, did you do this thing? Did you see him do this? He felt bad with on his back. Like, like, die hard.

That's what he said. I'm from die hard. Like, however, die hard. Look at that. Or fucking up. Rubble cop. Yeah, I felt so bad. I was like, damn, I could have.

Dude, you should have. I could have did what he do like put with the trash No, I would try to go in across the street into the bushes, and then that was it what if you survive Come back They have very soft phone each on clock into the building You see even mouse survive so by the way if anybody's walking down low and it rained one mouth You when you're just outside On your fucking shoulder

Down there, but yeah, how did you not quote die hard when you're killing the mouse you go coming like it I'm like kitchen, we'll have a couple of coffee. Come on, tell us. Your fiancee was like, what happened to the mouse, man? I let him go. I let him go. I let him go. I let him go. I let him go.

Oh, looks like you. I may not regret that to the day. What's the problem? Kind of sad. Yeah, I feel like I should have do it, dude, just put him in the trash can. No, man. Dude, you should have wrapped him in aluminum foil

and gun him across the street like a baseball. I have no sympathy for my, any kind of road, don't care. Don't care, but you can kill care, but you can help us. Don't want to touch him. Yeah. Don't want to touch him. If I keep him when there was a dead rat in my house, I'd go the house belongs to him now. There is. I'm a what's packed up and move around it. And that is how I'll even take the area rug if we cut the square out that the dead rat is on. Man, I'm rat in my house. I've told the story before, but one of the only times I've ever been like, fucking get away from me. It was like August, I was at the West Fourth train stop,

going up, you know, it was like where Third Street is, and there's that long ramp. I've told the story before on the show, but it was going up, it was like maybe a hundred degrees outside, brutally hot down there. There's a rat walking up the side wall with half of its fur off, and it was just like, eh!

It just, there he kept, he looked used like, it's hot as a blitch out there. There it is, he kept crossing, whatever, and you just see people be like, fuck! And I was like, what are people freaking out because they're walking off the e-training? I'm like, where the fuck are they? Oh my god, and you see it, and it's just like, the brain just brings. Walking E-training. I'm like, where the fuck are they? Oh my god! And you see it and it's just like,

The rain just brings. Walking up that sidewalk. I was like, oh fuck! And I did the, I did the very, uh, feminine as I ran by it went, I was smoking a cigarette on my stoop the other night, I'm just at a moush just ran across the bottom step like behind my feet. Oh, you know, like knees bent, you know, sitting on stairs, and around under the thing, just a small little map, but still I do the whole, woo, and then I'm standing in the rest of that cigarette and on the lookout, I'm like, where is the thing?

And then I'm actually full of smoke, but fuck. And then the rat, I'm fucking freaking out already. The fact that Christine has moved on with her life from the day that a rat ran right up between her legs and up her fucking torso. No. Did like a weird jump in the air and ran back up. Yeah, right up me.

Half a half a tube. Yeah, right? You're crazy. It's only hooked. Right up here. It gave her a McTwist. Yeah. You don't know that?

I'm like, it's only one of them right here. you don't know that. I'm not talking to you. I'm not talking to you right here. I'm 100% I said. 100% that rat ran on you. You got extreme rat. Stop. Don't be embarrassed. No, do your black friends are here.

Dude, my friend touched you. You know that happened. Christine, you got park hoard. It's a real unknown weird. It's a real unknown weird. We're going to rat talk on the farm farm. I had my first apartment ever in New York and Bushwick. I had an air mattress on the floor and I moved the air mattress and there were two little mice like under it and I had stuff on the no.

So there's a challenge. I trapped them with a cup and then like put something underneath and went and made them outside. When you flipped the mouse out of your apartment And you had it like a tree. You had, you had, you had, you had a dust pan in the broom. So the dust pan in the broom and then did you do the thing? It was still alive. Did you go like, when you tell the story though, you should tell where it's like he was gripping onto the railing and you slowly worked his fingers. So he's like, no, he, please hit the dust pan.

There's no time, there's no time. He's doing this move when you're hitting it with one hand, he grabs it with the other hand. He's like, come on man, think about what you're doing. This is 17 fours up. No, holy Gentrified you should have I'm gonna think I brought you I Feel like you should do full cliffhanger and put a little leather glove on him Oh You see is

Man And his belly was white had a white stripe in brown here so fun of your fiance icing your chest in the middle of night See of a nightmare Like what happened you see his face again like yeah, what Nori you're gonna have to go see the doctor There's a rain there's a rain storm and just a fucking a flash of lightning You see a mouse on the fucker windows He's telling you he knows It's the 10-year anniversary

DJ you're not afraid of drones you know I think you just pick up a fucking mouse and put it on a tortilla and fucking eat in front of a Chateau Press some bar pig Portia and fucking eat in front of a chip to I was gonna press some bar pig I thought it was gonna be like Ben Where he just picks it up and he goes, what's up buddy What's up man? You wanna be my willard and I'm playing with him

I'm playing with him this week Finding out a parent smoke's pot can be a shocking experience But when Jay confessed to the crew and guess Mike Feney that he had mistakenly texted his daughter Isabella that he was Rolling a joint and would be right over The younger Okerson had a pretty inspired response Isabella 17 and for a few years now there's been a lot of situations where and i've heard also that uh... from her mom that they have talked before about

Isabella saying things i'm i'm no dad smokes we i know he does and always looks we and i think your mom would always say no, right? That I said I don't. She would say that she doesn't know what you do. Oh, you know what? It's a very lawyer. That's a very lawyer response. And I always think a smart answer.

Yeah, she's like, I don't know. I don't control what he does. I have, there's more of a disclaimer to this. It's not a disclaimer, but several times. A few times on the show. And I'm sure we'll get to this too that she's noticed or whatever. But you've had a few. It's about a tendency to sit behind you on the show and you've had a few like,

oh man, like, I remember I was like, just smoked pot and people come up and whatever the one of the better ones ever Was this magical night that I take her with Christine. We all go to a Cheh hooked us up sweet to come to SNL one night and we went and watched us and only took us on like a full like tour around The afterwords and he was like hang out in the green room and And in the hallway other thing we're walking by Pete Is there and he goes,, what's up, dude? And I he goes hey, you want to go smoke a Monten my wrestling room or whatever and I was like no, I go, how that's funny. They go my daughter's here

If you want to meet my daughter and he goes, oh, hi, your dad doesn't smoke weed ever Trailed off smoke weed ever. I I just like get it like trail off. That's a fun P Davidson moment. Yeah. He goes, oh, you're dad's a real star no? Oh, yeah, you're dad's a real partner. So, uh, and she, look, when she comes over my house, I don't

do anything in front of her ever or whatever. So it's like, there's nothing where I'm super, you're not a greegis about it. I'm not an idiot also assuming that I'm like ash probably knows or whatever But I don't think it's a big deal and she doesn't bring it up to me. So whatever because I'm not gonna go Yo, what's up deal? I told you my thing on that was always about my dad saying he was 11 just driving Me in a car and smoking weed and I'm like It was very weird and he's like I'd rather you do this and drink when you get older because this is from the earth.

And I just remember how dumb it all sounded. I'm like, what? What you're talking about? 11 is also kind of young. Just it was ridiculous. You got that whole thing. Reading is superman comment. Can you please?

Yeah, the whole thing was shut up. So like, and I just kind of equated like whatever he did with that. Sure. I can go the other way. I guess too, because you said that, you said your dad drinking always growing up and you drank a bunch of drinks. I just eat a lot of drinking that has a drinking dad or a drink. By the way, you my dad had

a drinking problem from time I was like, eight, because trust me, yeah, you go through a sticky divorce. Your ex wife sure does let your kid know you're an alcoholically. But you did it as well. You went hard and had to quit. I mean, so it's like, I didn't want to drink. I only smoked weed in high school until I got to a certain point where we all started drinking a party and then I was just really good at it. I was like a really tall kid that didn't want to play basketball. And then they had me on the court and I just dunked on someone and I was like, oh,

wow. Uh oh. Uh oh. I just found the thing I'm really good at. And then I started drinking like non-stop. It was crazy And then of course had to you know stop and get help and read Alan Carr's book the easy way to stop drinking It's great if you want a quick drinking My dad should have been like a warning, but it was more of an example. Yeah, you learned how to drink

Yeah, can you do that the Trish taught me how to set a pace? Yeah, anyway my point is being that I have a real I really want just give you just give you just the idea and so that is about I assume she knew I Didn't do it around her didn't really come up so whatever if it comes up it comes up I I told Carla while I was go she never brings up to me. I wouldn't like be like no, you know, I wouldn't like wider about it. So Yesterday I'm I Stop by our friend Wayne's house for a little bit. Sure. And he was like, hey, has it come on the roof for a second? And so, I am...

I texted Isabelle if she was feeling better at all, better at a report card. She didn't answer. And then, she told me she was working, and I made fun of her for that. And then thought that I switched back over to Wayne and wrote, rolling one more joint and walking over. Smiley face, wanting anything from the deli or anything. And then I just went back to doing whatever I was was doing and then I see a text from Isabella

I go Just goes it's from her I click it and she goes oh word bring me a sandwich That's funny. That's a good response Isabella great response Bring me a sailor I go some kids could have fallen the pieces and cried some kids could have fucking been like oh Here real she just shoots back just comes at me right away. Don't word up, dude I've been fucking hilarious if she shot back a boomerang of her doing a fucking blowing backwards on the board backwards on the board. Like a shotgun. Yeah, yeah.

A shotgun boomerang. Where you got anything else? This is the smoke shooting in my hand. What? What? So when she says, oh, we're bringing a sandwich, I feel immediately my guts go into my toes. Yeah.

And I wrote back, first thing I wrote back, huh? The word, huh? Huh? Huh? Clarify that you saw that for sure. I don't even know what I'm trying to explain it as here. the word huh? Huh? What happened? Clarify that you saw that for sure? I don't even know what I'm trying to explain it as here. I go, that's a copy paste to a wrong person.

Dot, dot, dot, you're stupid. Because I already know how dumb it's out there. You're the one stupid. Did you know your dad was spiraling at this point? Spiraling's the wrong word. It sounds like spiraling. When he said, huh? I was looking at my phone.

I was like, why is he acting confused with me? Yeah. Huh? Huh? What's up? What are you doing? It sounds like So funny that's so funny Christine. How do you feel? So do you feel disappointed that Jay gave up your whole Mara that his whole Mara Of smoking weed is gone. I mean wasn't a You know that your dad's I mean you felt Was it a brush? Did you know that your dad's, I mean, you felt, you felt like you did. You do? Why did you know?

Oh, what's the next one? The text. That's great. So then she writes, do you have the thing available? I have the thing. Yeah. To bring up on the screen. This is great.

She sends to me. She attaches this video to it. Like, it's like, what is it? A meme or whatever. And she writes, the cat's out of the bag. I can cancel the exterminator to get the skunk out of your apartment now. Oh, wow.

I love it. Nailed it. You're a sniper. You're killing it. Nailed it. She was on fire. I wanted to tell her because through all of it, I was very proud of how funny she was

the whole thing. Yeah, that's a great way to circumvent. Did you, when did you know? Like dad's apartment always kind of smells like weed. Look out. Yeah, really? And my super doesn't say that ever. And so Bob definitely knows.

You think Bob's in? Bob because of course he pushed me through window. He's high on drugs. He's walked out. He walked out on drugs. And so the first time I didn't know that's what weed smelled like. I thought it was just dad's apartment smell. You know, hold on.

Let me to defend you because you're dad saying, right? My friend Johnny, the same one that was with me when we went to the KFC, growing up, his basement, his Nintendo was in his basement, that's where his parents' room was, and it always smelled weird, but I thought it was cigarettes,

because they smoked inside. And then when I started smoking weed in high school, I was like, this smells like Johnny's house. And I was like, yeah. That's the same, my friend's smoke a lot. And so, all right. I'm gonna need a list of their names after this.

Yeah, and their friends. You're my Saint You to Great Adventure, Woo. You mean your ex friends? And so they came in from smoking one time at a party. And I was like, I like just blurted it out. I said, why do you smell like my dad's apartment? So fucking funny there you said so god damn funny They just looked at me and then I was like oh, I don't know

So funny together. Yeah, but that's not my dad's house or his place I don't like you tell your friends live in an apartment It sounds like something you're not impressed with you. You live in the East Village. What do you want? Yeah, that's what you're going to do. Can you say apartment? I said East Village. Whatever. Oh, man, that's so funny. Getting a text. You never think about that.

You can get a text that gives up information from your parents. A lie that you've been trying to hold on to for 17 years. Easy to explain to a dick pick, thank God. Oh, yeah. Yeah, thank God. I'm a... I hate that. I go to the wrong person. Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. Thank God. Oh yeah. Yeah, thank God. I'm a... I'm a...

I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... I'm a...

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This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.