The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - World Peace

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

An actress tries to solve war with a poem directed at Russian President Vladimir PutinStream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Warvers Ukraine everybody and I think like the rest of the free world, we're all for Russia, right? Yeah, everyone here. I don't read.

I kept getting on stage. Are there Ukrainian order brides? I'm going to hurt her. I'm sorry. Was there a Ukrainian bad guy in Rocky IV? Yeah. Because I learned how to love that dragon Ukrainian because I'm sorry. Seems like I seem like this should be handled with a boxing match perhaps this whole war.

It would probably solve it, you know, if one of them can change, then everybody can. Or some sort of nude bathhouse fight, like Eastern promises. Yes. I've thought about that too. Everyone gets get some fucking belly tattoos. Dude out there. Just Putin and another naked guy in a bathhouse fighting with a knife, whoever comes out. Putin in that one. Well, that present. I don't know that president, you know, I mean, yeah, that Putin verse that Ukrainian president Putin's taking that.

Tell me president was an actor, right? He was like a John Stewart type. Dude, it's so fun. So maybe half of its physical, half of its like debate, you know? The SAG awards had a lot of that like, you know, the Ukrainian support they were showing. Yeah. And they were talking about it being an act. Dude, I, as I get older and I'm in entertainment, the self-righteousness of actors.

God bless you for what a natural, perfect lead way into what I wanted to show you. But I mean, it's fucking, and don't worry, we're gonna get to our Corey Feldman. Yeah, we're, we have an apology. Yeah, we're, we're, we're, we're, Feldog stuff will get to. We can't make it the sole basis of our show

or else that's an obsession that, we're just obsessed with the guys nurses Is what you think you're thinking about right now probably dance moves probably probably getting on the ground Taking his hands 5.5.7.8 5.5.7.8 In the hotel and Raleigh 5.6.7.8

I don't want the ground in a month She's on Twitter and she's like, dude, you gotta see this. She's like, I think we're about to watch Gail Gado's Imagine Time 1000. And I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, before you jump to the actual thing, just the concept of like, that's what the Sag Awards

was like riddled with that. And they showed Vigo Mortensen at the front row of the uh, next game. Yeah. The big screen and he helped. I get like a hand made like a Ukrainian thing. Ukrainian flag and it was just like, okay. We get it. It's like how are you sitting at a basketball game? It's also like, it's also like when uh, they were invaded. How are you not gonna cheer for them? They're defending themselves. She the ghost of Kiev, dude?

Yeah, I read all that, but I'm saying. I got rules. It's the top gun. But it's like one of those things that broadcasters bring up during games where they're like, these guys are underdogs and everyone's cheering for it. Who doesn't love an underdog story? You're like, no one. Everyone loves an underdog story.

So everyone, that's going to gonna be Russia Vating Ukraine. That's gonna be a long shot by Castellana. Castellana, deep to left. You know Tom Brennan, I've started watching this because it was suggested to me. There's a two and a half hour Charlie Sheen documentary. I fell asleep. I had to bet an hour of it.

But I'm gonna watch it was good. I was just exhausted. But Tom Brennan, big Charlie Sheen friends. Really? Well, because yes, Charlie Sheen's a big reds fan. Oh yeah, he did me like a... It's from Ohio, yeah. I was thinking of an Angel's game

where he bought a whole outfield so we could win a home run. Get a home run. That's hilarious. But that's one of the home run ball. So funny. But yeah, he's a... That's great.

The Tom Brennan calls him. He's like, Chuck, it's Tom Brennan. I'm gonna needia help on this one I got caught saying the F word out of Hot Mike. He goes what are the concept he goes? Well, I heard you had sex with Corey aim but it's between a couple of trailers and I'm starting to say well That's Los Angeles to a fat capital the world. What's a shot out to deep right center. Honestly, it's kind of, I get what Rogan's going through

because in context, it makes sense why I use the word. It's not what's the believe me. Anyways, that's gonna be cast the lotto deep to left. I gotta get going. That's how it gets off the phone every time. Cast the lotto deep to left. I gotta get out of the role. And the car's running in the driveway.

But these, yeah, so the celebrities though, like that come out and just like, yeah, of course you're supporting you, right? But they invade it. It's not that, of course they do that. But I'm also saying like, dude, fucking, like act, everybody go act in a thing. I'm telling you, it's no different

than you and your friends trying to set up a shot for a sketch in your garage. Yeah. Then it is acting on the highest level. Yeah. It's just fucking a thing. Well, you'll see people playing. It's like they're not the smartest, most noble people on the way. It's such a elite thing for something that's so stupid.

Yeah, it's pretend. It's like a sign felt had a great bit about it where he's like you're giving yourself statues for playing pretend. It's insane. Like the level of oomph and they put on themselves. What's funny is guys like me and you, I don't know if you feel this way, but whenever I'm on set on anything and the crew, I feel like such a bitch. I'm just like the guys that are putting up the lights and stuff. I'm like, yeah, I'm in makeup in a tight shirt and I have to go pretend to be sad right now. He's a guy's cool. He goes, real man. He's like, oh, that's cool. He goes, me. I have to go pretend to be sad right now. He's a guy's cool real man

He's like, oh, that's cool. He goes me. I have to go hang off some scaffolding to put a light up for that Because you see these gloves if I didn't have these my hands would burn through because the light bulb I'm putting in is so fucking hot Yeah, he goes yeah, I had a rope get away on me yesterday. I ripped my fingers off clean almost. Oh my god I asked for an ice coffee before the last scene and I never got it You feel like a bitch dude. It's hot my trailers like small. Yeah, you're such a bitch bitch You're such a bitch It's very tough and crafty services then you're going back to your trailer and you try and awesome different You're going you're going deep for a long nap. You're not in the next scene. So you're got to sleep and look at your phone

but they that's what bought and I think that's what bugs most people about the self-protection like the Gail Gadov thing. The self-importance of being like guys you know who it is it's the same as when a kid in school when the teacher like the Gal Gadot thing. The self-importance of being like guys. You know who it is? It's the same as when a kid in school, when the teacher would leave, and a kid would try to, you know, be like, guys, calm down.

And you're like, fuck you, dork, shut up. Well, it also kind of goes to like the same thing. Well, I don't understand the Rogan, like the, I understand why he's getting the lash on the race, uh, the racism shit, although I don't think he's racist at all. I'm just saying, like, I understand the, the back like that you could, you could trump that up to be like, look bad as they did. You know what I mean? But, um, as far as like, the whole thing with like, he's spreading misinformation about COVID, like, stop going to Joe Rogan for your science

I don't care. He's talking to a scientist. It's an entertainment show Yeah, you know, I mean close my it's the it's the joke. It's Dave Chappelle's joke about When he was watching MTV after 9-11. Yeah, and I was like we have Joe rule online too Yeah, I remember he was like yeah, I'm on the fucker. What? Yeah, I don't want to hear so it's's almost, I was making a joke on the phone that somebody asked today about that idea. It's like, I got a Joe Rogan for my science. And he goes, hey man, you know the boosters are out.

He goes, well let me find out what ASAP Rocky thinks about this before I dive right in. Hold on real quick, I got Hunter Hearst Helmsley on the line. Exactly, it's like, I need to know. I don't know if you guys know this, but X-Pock is a good friend of mine. And we're gonna talk about the Ukrainian border with Biela Russe. I don't think Joe Rog guys know this, but X-Pock is a good friend of mine. And we're gonna talk about the Ukrainian border with Biela Russo.

I don't think Joe Rogan would mind me saying, like, just his show for entertainment. Like, man, it'd be funny. What are you looking for? Well, if he's having, like, if there's a show that's having scientists, and I think that at least Rogan's show is having something besides celebrity on

for such a mainstream show. So if he's having scientists on, he's having these people on and they're talking and telling their thing even though it's on his platform. Are you learning something by listening to those people even if you take it in? But Rogan Show? 50,000 scientists all say 50,000 different things. Also, so I'm saying like drink this in is like, oh that's what this guy said. I'm not saying choose to believe it or don't, but who gives it?

It's like good luck also getting a through our podcast out of a scientist. Isn't that the world where awkward those guys are? So I'm saying like if everything foul, now listen, like we should have Fauci on the bonfire. They're all like Fauci lives. Like maybe I don't know in the beginning, all I know about Fauci was in the beginning of this.

He was just the guy daily, you'd look and be like, where we at? Yeah, he was our Puxitani Phil for viruses. But I just come out and be like, I don't know, it looks pretty bad. I gotta go back in my stump. We didn't have a body shit. But when they're like, he lied.

Like, he lied. I'm gonna say it right now, it was, yeah, we're starting to sound like right wing. We're starting to sound like talk radio. Like, on the line, we got left. We got a leftist on the other line. We got a right. But Joe, they're like but Joe

Anthony Fauci lied like okay. I don't know man Like it's just like I'm not looking for a here's what I definitely won't do it's like getting me Which I'm gonna go Trump what are you gonna do when people but bleach in their arms? Here's what I hope I will definitely not do is tell you a I hope I will definitely not do is tell you a Scientific opinion that I think you should follow I will never I will take suggestions. I'll take suggestions for constipation I will take suggestions for whatever you think I have a problem with I will take your suggestion I what you will may hopefully never get is a hard-lined

Scientific suggestion for me. You will never once have me be like, this is the pack, this is dance science. Does it work? Probably not. Well, I have a opinion where I'm like, I think if you're a person that's, there's no reason to have fear of it, especially because a lot of the dad is in, you should get the vaccine, the booster, just get the fucking thing.

Now here, if someone just goes, I don't wanna, I don't wanna put something I don't know on my body, I go, okay. Like, that's what I'm saying, I'm not gonna touch on anything, I'm like, I think you should get it, and they go, I don't want to get it. Okay, don't get it. But not about COVID, I mean, even about the Ukraine Russian thing, like people all of a sudden now, we live in the age where everyone's got to take, where everyone's got to come out and be like, here's my take on it. You know what I found out? You are pro-Russian now, like people, you will be vilified, like saying,

you must say, I love rape. This guy tweeted at me, he was like, Hey, Dan, how about that Russian accent now? And I was like, what? What? From a 12 year old joke. Do you think that was my stance on the Russian Ukraine? I can still do it, I mean, you can't even do it anymore.

Yeah, fucking, what's up? Nice Russian accent, you're like like you fucking nerd. I will Honestly, it was the In real life I was trying to do an Albanian accent because that part of the Bronx is where the Albanians are and no one fucks with Albanians But dude this fucking thing On Twitter this video of this woman who was in the thing on Twitter this video of this woman who was in the relaunch of 90210 Anneland McCord Anneland McCord she put out a video I know it was on I know Jim and Sam talked about it I figured everyone was gonna talk about this just you know suddenly

we're doing this for the Ukrainians right now just if I guys don't worry the Russians right now are just injecting steroids and that's gonna work do you know guys are lifting wheelbarrows of your family do you know who the mayor of the capital is? Who? One of the Klitschko brothers. No, uh, the heavyweight champ. No shit. Yeah, not Vladimir the other one Vladimir Sarage I don't know look up the the Klitschko brothers one of them's the mayor of Kiev What's that Jacob?

You used to be married to Hayden Panatari? No, that's the brother, Vladimir. Klystin, I am. No, that's his brother. His other brother's involved in major war. Yeah, Klystko brothers. One of the married that girl from Heroes. Look at those guys, dude. It's a fucking guy rich with blacklist.

No, but one of them's the mayor of Kiev in... Oh, one of them's the mayor of Ukraine.... Oh, one of them is the mayor of Ukraine. Of the fucking capital in Ukraine? Not Russia, okay. No, I thought it was Russian University. No, no, no, no. They're like fighting... They have a picture of him with a fucking automatic gun.

And he's like fighting the Russian forces and you're like, what an absolute badass! They're so scary and manly looking. Fold them here? They're tough, man. Members of... One of the Vladimir Putin's enemy. Oh, I forget which one it was.

It was names. I forget which one it was, but I think when he fought Ray Mercer, I've never seen this fighting style. They're so big. Ray Mercer would have his hands up in front of his face to block, like double, like Tyson, like that double fisted. Yeah. In front of your face.

And he would come down the put. He would have a hand cocked back and he would take his left hand. I believe. And he would, I mean put he would have a handcocked back and he would take his left hand I believe and he would I mean like a school fight He would knock the guys hands away from his face and then straight down the pike over and over again. Yeah, so vicious I mean dude. I was like that's the scariest kind of buy. I'm so I'm like I'm surprised they weren't like they were big They were pretty big. Yeah, they're heavy like haps. Yeah, they were they were big There's a bunch of Loman Chanko is fighting. Dude Vaseo Loman Chanko is one of the best boxers right now. So the fact that he just picked up a gun and is fighting Russia. That's like

when Ted Williams went to World War Two and then came back and still hit 400 you're like we're gonna hit over 300 you're like this fucking badass. There's another article that I sent that I don't know if you guys have it still in the rundown about one of the I think it was a military guy. It was someone at one of the major academies said that the Nintendo generation that's coming up right now has weaker bones and they get injured more during training camp. I mean during boot camp really. Yeah, they're like bodies can't handle it because we're so we're like this. It's the screen generation. Yeah, so they're just behind and so now like doing military boot camps are getting like Tornees and broken bones like we've never seen this before

The meanwhile in the ukrain all their superstars are coming to fight together like that cartoon with Jordan Gretzky and Bojets They're all fighting crylin shit and you're like what the fuck? But over here in America, Droggo's there. Yeah, dude. He's like, Droggo's fighting for real. Yeah, like they got their fucking-

The click goes are drunk. Yeah, they're real drunk. But they, they, now, you know what America adds now is, we have hot people to give artistic takes that make you embarrassed to be associated. So this woman, oh, in the court, why don't you fucking learn how to fight? Yeah, stop this shit.

Pin your hair back and learn how to fucking climb through mud. You know what Putin needs? Some hot pus. Not even, dude. Wait till you hear her poem. You haven't heard this, right? Poe him. Dude, wait.

It's slam poetry. It's like, is it really? Dude, pretty much. Oh my gosh. So she's coach, she's culturally appropriating and fucking being here. She doesn't do the tone, but I think we will. It's been viewed by the way.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go yell at some black kids that are playing outside on my stew. She goes, there's a delivery man walking around my complex and it's making me feel very uncomfortable. There, when Katie showed it to me, because she was on Twitter and she's like, dude, you guys see this, this might be worse than the gale good thing.

When we watched it, we were mortified. And I was like, I can't wait to talk about this on the bonfire. But then you went and looked, and it had like the retweets versus quote retweets, which means people are talking shit about it. At one point, it was like a thousand retweets, 40,000 quote

tweets, or 90,000 quote tweets. Like people that are always going like, look at this fucking bitch. Like that's everyone. Four percent of people going like well said. I don't know if you can say that after watching this. You have to be a real dip to watch this and be like, you're right. God damn you, right? There's people that thought the imagined thing was like cool inspiration on. Man, moving. That's, those people should, you should be like, those, that should be canceled.

Or you're like, you're a fucking moron. You're not allowed to work in hell. So I was gonna open up with like a Ukraine's good episode too, but they opened up with a Ukrainian song. Like a Ukrainian orchestra, or choir, like singing a song. And it was long and it was just like what so I don't Remember that doing that with Bosnia. I didn't get what it was happening If it were why I have to assume I think is Cessli strong and the other girl came out That like I think they're probably of Ukrainian like

Somehow dissent. Yeah, isn't there. I guess it's what what I'm guessing completely but like it was a weird way to fucking Start a comedy sketch show. It's like just The end when everyone's a one there It's a song they wrote when they didn't have bread consistently exactly Sticks to our bones Everything is made from beets. Meat soup, beets soup, all we eat is meat and beets. All the women are pretty when they're young and super fat to end their old.

Their process of growing old is detrimental to my bonus. Every woman after 40 years old looks like a bear running on a ball. All right, well, this woman, um, Anil and Corden, who was from the 90210 reboot. She was also in the lifetime movie starring Mario Lopez, not Mar- uh, uh, Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. She's a Feliz Navidad. She's a Feliz Navidad.

She's a Feliz Navidad. With Mario Lopez. Bon par celebrity. Feliz Navidad. On Hallmark. Feliz Navidad, Lisa Navidad, Lisa Navidad, with Mario Lopez, Bonfire celebrity. I think I'll... Lisa Navidad, one hallmark. Lisa Navidad and Mario Lopez has a weird career. I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas. Also Mario Lopez. Buck in my head.

Lisa Navidad? Yeah, because it's something Dan pointed out that I never got out of my head about the hallmark movies is that the kids, there's always a single parent because other than mom or dad died. Yeah, the kids are so okay with it. After six months like dad, you gotta get back out there. There's no trauma with losing a parent

I will tell you right now mom would have wanted that when she died Unceremony is sleep very young by the way, they never divinely they never divinely they never die that causes anything with trauma It's like her heart stopped when she was baking my favorite cookies. Yeah, she died her sleep fully made up Yeah, what about the time that you caught your dad just sitting in the room with the TV off just staring at it drinking? So when it was alive for a while still, you go lazy sack a drunk shit. Oh my god, he's cold. Oh my god, oh my god, he's just dreaming of something! He goes, and then I just sat with his corpse for eight hours. Yeah, I didn't know. Everyone to call.

Anyway, dad, get out there and start dating again. Come on. I find it creepy how well adjusted they are to this yeah the kid I don't most a month ago dad You got to get back home. Yeah, Mom. Yeah, Mom. Tell are you offended by that your story went way different since you do that to your dad didn't you go dad get out there and fuck He was like no, I'm gonna bang your mom's on. I'm gonna bang my dad so quickly was Looking up with my mom's aunt. I'm gonna bang your mom's aunt. My dad's so quickly was looking up with my mom's cousin. It was crazy.

He didn't have time to even process Christine's drug prostitution. Jesus Christ, so she did. Hey, Christine, you were super happy for him, right? You pushed that. No, me and my friend, me and my best friend from high school were just talking about, we used to play her name's Debbie and there's an Eminem song where, yeah, fuck you Debbie.

And we used to just play it on full blast and scream it from the bedroom. But seeing a lifetime movie, that wouldn't work. You would have to push it. Could you imagine meeting an eight year old Debbie? Yeah. Hey, Deb. Well, it's funny when you, you're, you're, Stem, other name is Debbie, but I was thinking about more,

like you were saying your friend from high school. Her name is Debbie. I thought you were saying your high school friend. I'm like, what a weird name to have in high school. Hey Deb. Have you guys seen Debbie? Hey you guys you guys You guys want to hang out with Rhonda after? I don't there was a ronda in my soul really but Rhonda on TV was always a Hot girl. It was like a bodacious. It was either like a you know Rhonda was on LeVern Shirley It was the big tits cop from police academy,

Leslie Easterbrook. So like Rhonda was always so she was like a bomb shell kind of thing, but our Rhonda was like the obese girl. Rhonda. Yeah. Well, back to this video, this girl, Rhonda ain't got a motor back out of her Honda. Well, no one told this girl ever to shut up.

Because the fact that she put this video out is... No, you try to shut her up with your dick in a mouth. Zayn! Let's watch this poem. I want Jato to watch this poem. I'm in. We're already 36 minutes in and this thing's gonna take us a while to get through.

38.30.8 million views. 30 million 800,000 views Hey, this is to Vladimir Putin Dear President Vladimir Putin I'm so sorry that I was not your mother What if I was your mother you would have been so loved held in the arms of joyous light Never with the stories plight the world unfurled before our eyes appear to

my eyes of nations sitting peaceful under a night sky. If I was your mother, the world would have been warm so much laughter and joy and nothing will. Pause it. I'm holding back. I didn't listen to the last two sentences. Does she have a statue in her kitchen? Yes. And does she keep her snowboard out by her door? I think there's might be snow, might be a snowboard, might be a water skis. It might be a fucking water skis. And she has a Buddha statue behind her couch. Three candles in the kitchen. In the kitchen. Right under the cupboards. I, yeah, I hate her.

Back it up like two senses. I just want to make sure I hate her first. Her foosball skills are insane. Yeah, you see her on the table. She fucking absolutely destroys her. She's nice. I mean, even that whole thing of like, if I was your mother,

the thought of Vladimir Putin ever seeing this, someone handing him a phone as he's commanding Russian's army, Russia's army, and they're like, hey, Mr. President, watch this. He's like, if you're my mother, what is this? What is this? Hey, what? We're gonna win.

Why? Yeah, that's what I was thinking, he's just a people, they are weak and stupid. You know those Nike commercials that get you motivated, even when you're not an athlete, that's what this is for Vladimir Putin. Yeah, he's like, I think it's moving.

And he's full of number of people to run through a wall. This girl I will tell you, by the way, my best guess, and I've lay heavy on this. This girl hasn't had a pub on her pussy since she had pussy here the first time. What, you're like a pussy archeologist? Yeah. You can just tell.

You can be like, I'm gonna tell you probably my outside shot. This girl would hate me, but she'd have to go, but I go, but just say right now, you've never had a pussy here. She's just discussing you. Yes, okay, fine. She said she would have a pussy here.

She goes fine. Yeah, okay, fine. I haven't had a pussy here ever. Can I get back to my poem? Yeah, sure. I was ripping it. I was fucking, I was laying down some hot bars.

You hear my bars? I was fucking dropping them. Mr. Putin, if I was ripping it. I was fucking, I was laying down some hot bars. You hear my bars? I was fucking dropping them. Mr. Putin, if I was your mom, you would suck my tits. You'd suck my tits and I'd give you so hard. I'd give you hot American mint tit milk. It is. So much laughter and joy and nothing would harm. I can't imagine the stain, the soul stealing pain,

that the little boy you must have seen and believed, and the formulation of thought probably taught. This arrogant bitch thinking that she's going to be the perfect mom of all time. Do a little Googling, Miss. Find out that Vladimir Putin's mom got pregnant by a married guy and then he made her give it up. And so she just gave it to his grandparents. So he was abandoned by his mother and then joined the KGB. Arguably one of the most badass fucking things, you know. You have viewers mother. I hear her.

I mean, what we got her. If you were his government, if you were his mother, would you leave open a flame around the house or have the kitchen overrun by a thousand pound fucking exercises statue. That's a statue from exercise. Maybe if you or my mom you would concentrate on there being less things for a child to get injured by, you know, softening some corners. Your court of management is bullshit. Let me ask you a question.

If I was your father, I wouldn't have let you take a role on my no two or no where I would have told you it was a doomed endeavor dude if him walking through and raiding her mouth he was look right here he goes the medicine cabinet completely accessible to child he does bar rescue but this is this is loft what is this this not house for child. This is not look. This construction, not good. Because splintery floors. No, not good. Also look at this, a child pulls this red down. Yeah, because no more than windows.

No more than windows. Child gates. Also, have you checked? Look me right here, look, I mean your medications. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this candy is so good. Stomach pump. If you do not have insurance your child Just come and there he goes water ski

You can fall down it's not blocked. It's not hooked to wall. I got one for you head Have you checked how many pedophiles or in this neighborhood? It lights up. He opened the need to sink you's bleach A. J. X. cleanser the old deadly to child Everything I don't read English. I think this powder sugar. Oh look cool it in weird bottle The long long long long long you come home to 32 pound corpse was poison. Yes Oh, if you were my mother if you were potens mother Yes, if you were my mother if you were potent mother this place is a disaster He does spoken poetry as I grew up in Russia

As I felt the cold sunshine on my face. I said hey man get it together Your cage keep be agent K for child Dude K for proofing houses exposed electrical outlet I could put any Paperclip oh look I have penny metal pen I have penny you I put it in walls up Zaps up up up 32 pound corpse. Oh look you leave monopoly game around and oh tiny, tiny house in my throat I see my nose, I can't breathe now I love as the president of Russia, I love pistachios Child, oh look, I eat it with like this a choc

pistachios on table, you're terrible mother Look, you play with keys yet. I can touch these keys, keys dirty. Dirty keys everywhere. You say you have warm house. You are a stupid mother. I'll tell you one thing, my mother had styrofoam corners on her tables. I'll tell you even better.

I had a mother, mother Russia. you even better. I had him mother, mother Russia. You lived and I was like, just see no Christine. Just blackly really had this good timing. Like when we would stop talking, he would just like hit play again. I mean, my God, it was just no downtime. It was, I was like one day, but it was pretty cool. Anyways, but you start doing passive or mean girl shit. Chris Dean knows where I was.

You cause usually I'm like, Oh, Christine gets it at about 15, 20 seconds of dead air that she should have played again. And then, but like, Black Lou just was like, it was a vibe, I don't know. It was a guy day. I don't know. I missed the, we were having it all.

We were having it all for the brain alcohol. Yeah, guys, listen, there was Hooch in the studio. They were making me go crazy. You weren't here to protect me. We were making some bathtub gin, guys listen, there was Hootin' the studio. They were making me go crazy. You weren't here to protect me We were making some bathtub gin, but I got a toilet wine. Yeah, apparently Jim apparently Jim in the powers of be here Hate making green alcohol studio. So I guess that whole black loot doesn't come with a poem tomorrow cold if I was running your video I guess I'll do my distilling at home from now on thanks Thanks for taking something that was gonna get at home from now on. Thanks. Thanks for taking something that was going to get us out from the my hooch. Yeah. Um God. Christina, if you can hit play.

Is this why you now decide no one will get the best of you? What? Is this why you do not hide, nor away shy from taking back the world? It was it because so early in life all that strife Give her this to give her fucking oh Throw your hands up throw your hands up. Dude. She's fucking body in Vladimir if I was your mother things be different Cuz they know such thing is halfway crux How is your mother things be different? Cause they know such thing as halfway crooks. Oh! Scared of death, scared of look.

Huh. Oh. Nice shoulders. Yo, yo, yo. Everybody, if you're bound with KGB. BEE. Look at your non-child birding hips. So narrow.

Ah, bitch, you couldn't have it, baby. You're built like a toothpick. Yeah. It's just... Your breasts are small and not matrenly. Burthing hips, so narrow! Ah, bitch, you couldn't have it, baby! You're built like a toothpick! Your breasts are small and not matronly. Look at your arms, not jiggly at all. I bet you don't even have a good recipe for borscht. You're like the second to last one in a Russian nesting doll. Oh, shit! You look like one of Anacornalakovas' thighs.

Oh! Skinny as bitch Man would probably only pay 200 rubles to have you shipped to him Oh, sir, okay feather off wouldn't even piss on you If I was your mother if the the world was cold I'd have died to make you warm You should go back to your daddy from unjust the violence the terror the uncertainty I would have Go back like 10 seconds because she's doing that Dramatic difference in life. I'm being dramatic. I die to protect you from the unjust, the violence, the terror, the uncertainty. I

would die to give you life. Oh dear Mr. He has a potent, perfect family and your mother. Perhaps the torture of unwritten youth would not within your heart and view a description to such field to against that world that you thought was so cruel. What? Perhaps you would hold dear human life and on this night instead of Mother Russia you would call me and I would set your mind quite free with the love that only a mother can give and only a mother can take away. All right Dark look at real watch out mother I will love you until I don't That's when things get really trippy she goes and you know what they say about mother bears. They can be

For oh, yeah Hey, you cool gone girls and everything would be okay She's Hey, you cool gone girls and everything would be okay or what Vladimir why did you do that sometimes the mother? Sometimes the mother finds a baby to be a bit of a burden, you know mothers can drown their children in They say there's instincts to stop that from happening, but there isn't You can't they can and they do. I can and they do.

I could bring you this world. Baby, I see the lights coming. Baby, because now no one else can love you besides Mama. Mama. You're forever Mama's now. Yes, Norman. Along the Mama. Yes, Norman.

Your mama. Your mother's with you now. You don't have to worry about anybody ever again. Jason. They said they were gonna hurt us You could call your mother and your mother would make it all wait stop the music low and then played on the turn And you would call me and I can give you the love that only a mother could could give her son Or take away Wait, see if you could score the video perfectly Not with the I survived the other the creepy music you just had

Bring it back and then you know what it happens, you know when she says mother right here. Yeah No, no, it's not no it's forward more you lunatic. It's all right. We're doing never these problems of black. Come on. Hey, we're doing fine I don't know the guys just got magic hands Because no this way around the web dude We're doing fine. I can't know the guy's just got magic hands. Shut up. Of course, no just way around the web, dude. It was so cruel. Perhaps you would hold dear human life and on this night, instead of mother Russia, you would call me. And I would set your mind quite free with the love that only a mother can give

and only a mother can take away. that only a mother can give and only a mother can take away. She doesn't harm Ed Bay and leaves her boy for the promise of a man, whatever your story, Mr. President Putin. I can't imagine how it feels if I was heart proud. I will find you sleeping and I will fuck your shit out. I will put the inside of your body on the outside. I promise you, I will dedicate my life to hunt and all things holy. I can't believe a monster like this came out of me. Oh my god, I will say that my vagina has barred a monster.

This is my fault because I didn't love you enough. I did now, I must end you. I should have crunched the canals of my content to destroy you. I know if I was your mother, I would be a start. What? Towards the awareness of what a powerful being of light you could be if your mind was only free from the violence you've seen when you were just two or three. I cannot believe I was born too late.

I gotta say, I gotta... In a different place. I gotta say, this is a real bad time to remind everybody that the canceled adult adopting adults. We could have made this thing probably happen. She could have adopted vinyl. Analymmical, that was a pleasure, dude. She's like, I mean, I don't know, the thing with Ukraine went bad.

I saw the video. I said, you know, I wouldn't mind having a mom in Laguna Beach She goes What do you want to hey Anna? What do you want to write in your letter? You're welcome signed what goes I sure would like to write welcome to America. Where's my pusslicks? But that's a different story. Where's my clam loud? Pusslicks, but that's a different story. Where's my clam laugh? Where's my clit num num? But I can't write that in an airport.

This adult adopting adult. I'm so bummed it's over. I know. And if I was your mom, if I was that guy does a poem, because if I was your dad, I'd let you sleep in the house. I'd watch you shower and make sure you clean If I were you if I were you're adopted dad Watch your sleep

Wish I was your adopted dad when I prune so I could molest you I could fuck you and my He's like bullshit wife would leave me alone about it. Papa. Jay. Please get off I'm like I just like hug it on you Don't want to sleep in trailer Frank we don't take the call but Frank is good boys at show so she's basically Bleeding women for this right and she says a woman's fault because a woman

should have said such a factor about her mother something something we start world-world three i think that's the hashtag blame the hose i've just been seeing her we got to make our poem that I put in bros before host. Don't worry about that bitch being your mom, dude. You just need a boy to be like, yeah, oh, fuck the

ruck. Are you crazy? I don't even bother with a lot of me. We belong to him. Dude, we belong to him. It's party, dude. I think you can get that girl to play your mom. Does anybody know what you want to invade? Or do you want to like fucking rock ass tonight?

I say we go to St. Peter's bird. We post checks like Vin Diesel did in triple X. He's like, I don't know if I can go to that party. Dude, you're hang with me. I was thinking that school. Vloddy! Like it's me, dude. Vloddy and Pailer tonight. Am I right? You gonna get in there?

You gonna fuck? The people from my class don't know you. He goes, oh buddy. They're everywhere you're ever's me, dude. Dude, I went to fucking Moscow Central. I wrote the bible getting pussy. Yeah. Dude, the fighting stallens.

Everyone knows me. I show back up there. Eyes are gonna pop. We're going to go out, dude. Dude, we were the oil's of that town. I'm telling you, we ran shit. Keep playing the rest of our poem. Let me get a break.

Jesus Christ. I want to love to sew. Watch to play wherever you go? She gets cut off like some rain. I swear to God. Really? Yeah, she gets cut off like some rain. You and just

you know, I'm gonna mess with me. You mess with my whole family. By the way, this is the same as some rain. Oh, yeah, her doing that. They're both bipolar and geniuses. It's immediately. She's the bipolar genius. Yeah, I think so. Aniline McCord.

Dude, she wrote that and a guy had to green like that. You think a guy was like laying in bed after sex and she's like, I wrote this fucking porn. You don't see, she's just pantsless in that video if you go down. Yeah. She's exactly like, yeah. God damn, that was real good. Man, I can't believe you.

You like the part when I said, uh, descriptions. He's like, yeah, goddamn that was real good. Man, I can't believe you. You like the part when I said, uh, descriptions, he's like, yeah, dude. Goddamn, I do. Goddamn. I do like, that's particularly like that part. This thing is bald. Oh my God, was there ever hair on this thing?

I mean, I don't even feel stubble bumps. You guys, lasering you say, what? No, not while I do the poem. Not while I own his ass. He's like, okay, I'm gonna edge off camera though. There's an article, you can find an article, Christine, a BuzzFeed article that maybe we'll read after break, where she defends it. I want that.

I want that. She said there's also a minute of bonus footage on Vimeo that she hasn't put out. Is there? Find that all. She says that? She says that. She's like, the end of the poem is on Vimeo,

she hasn't released the link yet. Drop that link. Drop that link, McCord. Drop it, dude. Where do you have that final verse? I wrote it goes to the final verse. I really tee off on. No, she has, as I just say,

there's fucking 32 bars where he basically just gets to. Or maybe if I was just your girlfriend, I could suck out all that anger in you. Did she say that? Did she really say that? Cause like, honestly, this war's not going that well, then I could suck out all that anger in you. Did you say that? Did you really say that? Because like, honestly, this war's not going that well, and I could totally hang out with you. Yeah, but depending on that war for a second, if this girl shows up, comes through.

Hmm. I could think differently. And maybe think, have a little role in the hey, she's super sexy gorgeous. I maybe think about not fucking up Ukraine, if you come over here and tell me I'm a big bad voodoo daddy. Your big bad voodoo daddy goes, what I like, it's, I like to play a song. You know, I can play hooky score 10 goals if I want to do. You know that? You know, you have to play with an actual team.

You know, like, oh wow, you're so good. He's like, it's my stick work. Vladimir Putin is like the kid from Twilight Zone where everyone's like, Oh yeah. Everything you do is great. He's like, this is my sister. She used to yell at me. She ain't no yell anymore.

She's like, I had her mouth so in shock. Hey, Uncle Drunky, why don't you pull a rabbit off the bat? Yeah, he's a good guy. I'd rather not pull a rabbit off the bat. If I was your mother, you wouldn't have to psychologically and manifest supernaturally torture your family. If I was your mother, there wouldn't be a shaking noise and then something disastrous would happen.

She's actually arguing to be the character of Kathleen Quinlan in that thing. Yeah. Well, I'll be nice to you. Let's just use your powers and have a reckon rad life. Yeah, we could fuck around with this shit. Um, should we take a break and then we'll come back and... Yeah, we'll find the article. Damn, an extra minute.

I want it so bad. I know. We have gay news. We have so much stuff. Dude, we got fell dog stuff. We have to... We have to compose a full apology. As a group time today.

For that. That might be... It might be the whole goddamn pre-record. We got a preacher that hates witches. It's a lot going on, everybody. And also, a bunch of ads we have to read. Well, three. I don't know what we've done here, but...

I've set someone in the mirror. I've set someone, somebody. Who is it? Who is it? Who we piss off? Give me a name. Who we piss off and advertise it? I took a mental picture of all their names when we did that zoom meeting Tell me I'll find it. Where do God's Daniel? Oh fucking let it be John let it be John who was on there if it was Dave who was late Dave was late was at the problem to Dave fuck us all over by being like we busted his balls. Oh real nice cool

You know what's serious XM real nice real cool Am I jumping the gun? Fuck you guys. You don't want us. We don't want you Am I? I was just a little bit up in the gun. You know what we'll take this show. We'll fucking split it Am I doing too much? Jay if I was your sponsor you would have eight reads a show. Thank you Dan if I was your sponsor You would only have to speak from the heart and not read copy I'll tell you what's funny when you have when we we have a full load of reads, six, seven reads in a show. I, not an eye roll, but I'm just like, what's a lot of reads we got again, you got to do a lot. And then this first day, it's like, there's only three.

I don't have like a, nice. I'm like, well, we're being fired. That's called a pessimistic view of life, everybody. I could use the Anneland McCord to talk me. If she was my mom, I would never feel like this. You feel so hot? Yes, Christine, I'm thinking about getting Anneland McCord. Anneland McCord is my new mom. Okay, good, because I can't find nudes.

Uh, of what Anneland McCord? Mm-hmm. No, it's impossible. Titties are something. No, I can't find them. It's type in Fapeting. Mm-hmm. It's type in Nude. Mm-hmm.

Type in Leake. Mm-hmm. Did you go to write the pictures? Or you go to are you gonna websites websites? right, and it jake a please Jacob if I may for a second please a moment Annelim Accord nude and then just go to images God Stink pussy.

I don't recall ever having to say that to Black Lou. I was just on the screen. It was just on the screen. No, I appreciate that. Is this it? Go for it. That's her. Yeah.

She was clearly in Power Book 3 raising Kanan and there's her tits. Happy Christine. Oh, it was so difficult. Why don't I just do every job here? I didn't think it was her. Mm-hmm. Like, her hair's different. Same tits though.

She's been naked before Christine. They've all been naked before. What's that? Is that her? No, I mean maybe. I wanna say yes. Chug and dick. Shhh. God. If she was Putin's mom, she'd be a real horde getting dicked down.

Yeah, if I were your mom, I'd be a milk. Yeah, if I was your mom, I'd have to come up from sucking fat hog to make sure you're not starting any stupid wars you're playing. Yeah, I have to tell you to leave the neighborhood kids alone because I was not getting buried. I'm thinking about starting a war. Shut up! Oh my god, you're stressing out, Phil. Shut up, little Putin.

You want me to, it's gonna take longer than more you talk. I kind of liked being a... Abandoned bitter. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM!