The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - You're My Lady

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

@thebonfiresxm

Hey, I'm Big J. Okreson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. On Monday, we did Legion of Skanks as we always lie from the stand. We are back.

Yes. Every Monday night, get your tickets. Uh, I think they're free tickets, right Christine? So it's big. It's free. I believe they're five. Five smackers. Really? I don't know. We were charged here. Clubs got a little action on it. A little taste. Well, we pack it out now. We've known it for years. We pack it out. And we are at this point a show that functions for our audience. They come in and they know what they're coming in for. A show where it's not gonna be racially or sexually sensitive at all. No, you're gonna get a jacked or fat Puerto Rican,

depending on what time of year, starting a white power chance. It's possible, it's possible that could happen. And you have to walk into that Understanding the irony of that none of the hosts are actual white men right Two Jews in a Puerto Rican it's a bad sense To be favored don't ever call me not white again, but okay I'm just kidding. This is a funny thing to argue on your other platform

I'm like, well, you know what? I'm actually going to stop in here. I myself am a minority. The Jews have been completely. Just a franchise. This is funny for me to be the nice guy that hangs out, lead to this gangsta, all of a sudden, be like, well, let's just talk perian. And I want to say you're kind of, you're

bounced from that club. So, yeah. So, but not just that. But anyway, this time they let down a group. So a black couple who ended up being lovely. That couple when you told me I can see anyone over the age of 30, you got a shot to win. Absolutely. And they were, I believe, but they also what it was, just like, the situation, though, I can understand like, well, did you explain that they came into the stand were like well, I'm going to yeah They and the other group but this

two tables That came into Legion of Skanks came in there as Completely they go are you here for the eight o'clock show or the nine o'clock show? Nine o'clock show is a stand-up, frantic and we're leading us to downstairs. I don't know if they're over explaining when they say, are you here for the eight o'clock show or nine o'clock show and they say, you know, we're here now, I guess the eight o'clock show.

And they brought them down there to that show. I don't think fully explaining to them what the show is. Now, maybe it's on us. Maybe we gotta get like a, do you think, do you think, maybe we gotta get a laminate that just we hang every time and say like if you're walking in the show It's like the shows off the rail you guys are like a laser show where you have to warn people with epilepsy Yeah, I don't want anybody to have a seizure

You guys might is that what Joe Harari's doing is on the walk down the manager at the stand is he doing a walk and talk with them He's like now I'm walking you guys basically into a lion's dead while they're feeding so just get ready because it's going to get super weird. Well it's funny like Legion of Skanks purposefully is not for everybody. Most fence podcasts in the world. Most fence podcasts in the world. Maybe we should have a thing that says that because these people walk in but what's interesting about it I think this is lost a lot of times in this argument, is that I don't want to have anybody upset. Sure. I don't want anybody upset.

So when I see somebody come in, you're like, you're right away, we have to, and look, I've been surprised many times. I've been like, hey, are you, 60 year old lady? Are you sure you're at the Legion of Skate? She goes, oh, I love it. And like, whoa, that's awesome.

It's like a granny being in the punk, you know, and they just show that all the time, or they're like, Granny Mohawk, I love Legion of Skank. I got a guy last night, or a guy, a guy when they did bring his mom, as he was an older lady, and she came up to him, and she was, I had so much fun, it was so ridiculous.

Oh, I was alive in the 70s, when people were just doing blow and having anal. She was dropping hard in bombs. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, she was very sweet, but while the show was happening, we noticed this Black hole bonus, which isn't crazy. It was just I had a feeling they just like they were on a date to see a comedy show It didn't seem like they were Legion of Skanks fans coming man What a weird place to get misdirected to yeah, and then the other table was it was a very effeminate gorgeous young gay man, gorgeous, sleeveless shirt, not mussely, but like beach body shape. Okay.

And I mean, just home-doned, but approachable. Eyes you could fall in love with. Okay. I mean, Christine, good looking fella, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. But pretty. I said before I go, you tell me that gays a choice when God made a face that beautiful

I'm a man you tell me that right now yeah But it was him a All it's a 21 years old a black girl who had a Statue body. I mean just monster cans theiniest ways, and a big old fat booty. And a hot Asian girl's within that was like, and like, ripped up jeans, like rock and roll, like kind of clothes, like, and just a nerd white girl who was pretty. And another one. This sounds like you had a, like a fashion catalog come to life.

You're saying all the things at me and Kumi and Lewis and Dave were all like You know, just gonna be from a Benetana I think you guys coming right from a college bro short Like all you know, where's the wheelchair guy? We don't have accessible are we but really funny, but we Yeah, we did talk to and the things like we are able to ingratiate to them to some degree But what I had to point at at one point and I offered both tables I was like by the way of the show at 9 o'clock I told Joe Horari the manager. I was like, Joe, let them go upstairs to the fucking franning show

Yeah, and people and they stayed for about another 20 minutes or so and then went upstairs But like politely, you know, they were like waving as they left and the black couple stayed for the whole show and And had a great time it seemed and they were whole show and had a great time it seemed. And they were, I'm what you call, but like again, like it's when they were sitting there first, I remember like a subject came up, we did the subject of which I think you to Kota Sky porn star, if you heard about this black Lou, this sounds like maybe in your real house of info, DJ Lou to Kota Sky porn star, who posed in

front of a George Floyd mural with her titties out, but also the funny of this we went over on the skanks I saw for the first time on skanks. Yeah, it's her titties are blared out, you know on the thing Sure, but like the George Floyd murals in the background and she's looking down It's like a still a sad picture like but we were making the joke like when you're a porn star That's what you bring to the table So it would be like an artist sitting there painting his artwork of it. So she doesn't sit down and she's like this. I brought the thing that I do to a sad place.

I do what I do in tribute of George Floyd, and she got so much shit online for it. She killed herself. Jesus. There's the picture. It is pretty hilarious. Usually, usually the sign, I think she went full offensive and just took the picture with her motion is face with her boobs yeah well the the full the usually the sign of titties is a job well done yeah happy moment

right it's a it was a weird thing but anyway she got so much shit she uh... she killed herself yeah she killed herself. Yeah. She killed herself. Yeah. It's it's a George Floyd mural. It's the situation of course that is sad and sensitive to people, but it's Legion of Skanks. It's a porn star or killed herself. Showed her teeth in front of George Floyd mural. We got a lot of jokes. Story wrote a lot of jokes. And just watching us two or three of us like just taking a shot and going and I stopped the show I was to go guys here's I wish the world would understand

this show is this show but we are all good people and what we can't do during this show is watch ourselves because I know and what's what we're all doing we're all nervous I'm like I don't ever got because we don't want this black couple to be upset like I said the object of the show we don't want this black couple to be upset. Like I said, the object of the show, we don't want to start dealing with this. So it's like, to call that out, like actually, I think smooth things kind of over for the rest of the show,

and we were able to kind of uncork and do our thing. Because like, and I said, the black couple were fantastic. Like they stayed to the end. They, they said, come back to what we're talking about. The energy changes in the room, like when you were growing up and you're talking to your friend and then their parent came in the room.

I don't care how cool the parent is, it's gonna change the way you're growing up and you're talking to your friend and then their parent came in the room. I don't care how cool the parent is, it's gonna change the way you're like watching what you're saying. I do my comedy to be palatable. For my standup comedy, I try to do for a much broader audience to lead you to Skanks. Yeah, it's still in vain with the legion of Skanks, but it's me so I can disclaim.

However, I can present it that I think applicable works. But I do the same thing when I see an older person in the audience, this weekend in theapolis, dude, there was a lady, our name is Barbara. Barb? You got a Barb? Yeah, I got to call her Barb a lot. She was hanging out with her.

She was 78 years old and everyone with her was significantly young or not her family. They were young artists. So many, but she was so to play along. I'm like, you just smoke long cigarettes when you make them have sex in front of you and all that kind of shit. She's an older and no one can explain it.

I want you to read my own love letters to each other while you're inside each other. And some lady who was being kind of like loud or whatever said something, I was like, don't tell somebody you can push me. I go, don't talk about eating pussy in front of Barb. It's Barb. And she goes, oh, Barb's eating a pussy in her life. And I looked over and I was like, Barb tell somebody you can push me I go don't talk about eating pussy in front of Barb It's Barb and she goes oh Barb's eating a pussy in her life and I looked over and I was like Barb I'm so sorry and Barb goes I was around in the 60 I think since she goes I made out with John his job in once

Yeah, yeah, there's something like that and that crazy when you get old enough You can just say that you fuck celebrities if you didn't yeah, I'm so seen out by the way I think I said she's made out with Jeff's job of maybe she said I don't remember Drink it more drink it more before I go on stage Try to get through it. Yeah, but you mean you won babs over in a way where she's gonna the rest of her life She's gonna be like you're a good boy. Yeah, no, she absolutely I'm a lot of fun with you. I used to suck off pilots, but I do always very dangerous I used to be a bi-planes

Continental airlines kicked me off. I was on a new fly list. Pan am a second dick. She No, she was great. I said I think you can do that But it is so funny though like how much like I think there your point is I think the presentation of what it is like 30 or quote unquote darker Comies. Oh, dude. It's just like a dark sad boy comedy. Now you're talking my language. I go email I'm so sad. I think it's so lost. I think it's presented that it's done like this like hey grandma listen to this joke Fuck cut pussy come face you pig monster

You can't handle it grandma. What's wrong? Am I doing your face? You can't handle the zone. I think I think most of us are like oh miss. I'm sorry. I said that in front of you Oh, man, it's like cuz like I know who laughs at this and I wouldn't generally I wouldn't say this to you in a supermarket miss I promise you know like how is used to be there some but even without saying that I think that's conveyed sometimes But it's so lost in the translation of like and then he went out there and like Even to say it's like to say and then told this audience a rape joke And you're like do you think it was like hey hey everyone, let's talk about rape, it fucking rules, right? Take it, sex.

You made a very good point previously where you said like, you have, oh, this is always the way to think of it. Cause I'm like, this is such a specific J problem that I would just drive me nuts. Is you have a lot of openers that go super dirty and they're like If you didn't like that one way to you see

My grandma wants to know why she still got it. I'll fucking right between her big fat grandma tits I don't care Related and they go oh, they go oh you guys can't handle that you came to the wrong show then you're not ready for what Jay's gonna do And I'm like I do I have taken a weird pleasure lately and put it's just the one thing I told you that like It got weird with the audience and it's just funny to watch Words hit somebody so hard so dumb. I made it just on the air I told you once in a while I just point out that one show I did this yeah and I just say it again to see how it goes there I go you know I was thinking about those dolls

they make so they make those dolls that pedophiles can fuck that look like children sure so to stop them from having sex with real children yeah and, and I was like, somebody has to make those dolls. And some guys in charge of making the pussies on baby dolls preventive files. I go, that guy's got to go home from work. And the crowd was like, oh, I got to go from work. And it's like, honey, how is work?

Like, you know how work was. Oh, God, why do they need so much detail? That's funny. We just go, but like the crowd was like, oh, but it's just like fun to like, and I just keep going, go, that guy's got his artwork every day. It's baby pussy, but fuckable baby pussy.

It's just find the word, but those words, just to me, it's not, it's just nonsense, the joke. It's a horse shit. But like, I just like saying this subject is watching like how much just saying them people, to get all, someone almost goes like, stop. It's just like, how much just saying to people to get all someone almost goes like stop It's just Enough is enough stopping now. I think it's just and then I do

But I get a much more alone that goes into making baby fake baby pussies, but I so I don't have like a Oh, you can't handle it. I'm saying like as I'm saying go isn't it fucking ridiculous? Don't lie This is it you guys this is when you stand on the stool and then you crouch down and you go do you not like what I Am I a teacher granddad stand up you bag? Whoa, and then all the waiters fucking throw their Throw their trays down and they're like this guy so rock it out pussies and then everyone kisses I do a lot of my sets standing on people's tables, squatting down and he goes,

how long you date in this bitch? I'm gonna start sitting down on stage and crossing my legs, having a real session. I like that. I'm gonna start being like, I'm gonna be like a hooters waitress. I'm gonna go sit at the empty table with everyone in the family.

What do you guys have? What do you guys have with some laughs? Look like T-bone steak with this side of huh? All right, so that's gonna be three Richard priors and with a side of Richard Jenner That's by the way you got to pull off of that lean in like you've been to back into music like there's no Get out of that you go and what do you guys have in some laughs? Dating You go let's talk about relationship

Yeah, that was absolutely because our goal more tables dude really good the audience involved but it is like Yeah, dude by the way the comics that tell you they're really dangerous. It's my favorite are So it's my favorite. It's my favorite. It's my favorite. Kristie, look up comedians named dangerous. Anything with dangerous. I mean, isn't did any Murphy have who is dangerous? Who had the album dangerous? Michael Jackson. Yeah. You're thinking of Michael Jackson. Any proof who's in that video? You've connected a whole bunch of things I think there, but we smoke. Remember the weed and isn't it crazy that I connected him? I go, I know how you got there.

Thank you, but not you saw the reverse side of it, but not anymore. You knew I wanted to get to remember the time video. Do you remember the days? Yeah. Do that premiered like a movie? They're like Friday night. They're going to black and white first. Black and white was the first big one with McCulley Colken and George went in the video.

I think it was after blossom because after blossom also premiered one time Joey Lawrence's My love came fix for you baby. Can you come out to Joey Lawrence when you do the Eagles gig dude man. I hope so I'm gonna shout to the love master now The love master baby dude if he murders the love master now. You come out to the love master, baby. Dude, if he murders with love master, I'm fucked. What, no, but what if you come out to Joey Lawrence then you bring the fight to that? Oh, it's right.

Now it's on you guys. What the fuck's up? Oh, nothing my love can't fix for you baby. I'm positive of this. I tell you. Probably just living a real nice life right now. Joey Lawrence doing fine. If his wife isn't smoking hot, he's got side pussy that is.

Oh, he's crushing. I'm sure. If he has like, he got the fuck the goodies in their time. They're primed. I think in that documentary, Santa Miyake, you fucking made a broke off punky, bro. Yeah. documentary Santa Miyake fucking made a broke off punky brew. Yeah, all like the romantic voice messages she had from thirsty teen idols. Oh, man. So they do fried just had a whole answering machine.

A dude's me like, you're pretty awesome. She's she's got a bit on that. She's shot at it. Dude, she is sucked to Kila out of the belly button of Hollywood's young finest of the time. Scott Beos, I'm guessing. All the me. I wouldn't be surprised if she got a little taste of Leo all day. I don't know if it timed out right all day. I would like to just do you know after a game

when you have to walk across and high five all the players on the other team. Sure. When you're young, the lineup after a baseball game. I would do that with everybody, every young, and by the way, fell dog, if you're out there dude, I'll kiss your penis for the fact that you may have fucked Nicole Eggert. And if you did dude, I will kiss you on the dick. Oh man, I'd love to just get an email that goes,

I'm ready to come on the show. Yeah, I'll kiss you on the show. I want head. I'll kiss you on the whole if I want heavy. I'll kiss you on the whole. If you fuck the call and tell me one story. It's just what guys do. It's just what guys do, man. Oh, yeah, it's actually one time.

He was, you know, he was funny, crazy thing about that story was I was having sex with this one time. And failing the distance, we could hear the beating of Haymes-ass just getting out out by Hollywood Hollywood and me. Honestly there was there was a four-year period where it was my white noise to go to bed. Here it goes well yeah but how was the collager's pussy goes not distracting enough to take away from the ooze and oars coming from the bathroom as my as my attache was cramming a fist and Corey Schiller and that one he asked for. Stop

burying your friend. God, he loved things in his ass. He would hide my keys in there all the time. Tell me I gotta find him. Then I have to hire someone to boof. I had to make him squat and cough before I left. You need to wait a mess. Yeah, you're top elite to me. Do you think when you to me if you have

Fuck the call I do you think when you die? You get to do a good game with everyone you ever fucked to that be great I don't even know all my thought I forgot about you good game good game. Oh shit. Good game. I'll see you fuck Oh good game good game good game. Oh Did you see him because good game is good game? Hey Hey, Nick Yeah, hey Nick What's up dude?

Hey Nick, good game Good game And then for X's that hurt you, you pull your hand Oh, fuck you bitch, keep moving Keep it moving, you slap her with a bat and glove Suck on that lady Yeah, there was a video of a woman that went viral briefly Just fucking destroying a bar.

Uh, like in a in the most fun looking way. Yeah. Think about how you would destroy a bar. If you got to destroy a bar, like, what would be my approach? You're just going for peer destruction. This is a restaurant bar. Yeah. It's a restaurant. Yeah. Like a PF Changs or like or like um so it's like the bar of a pf Changs yeah how do I attack it all right first thing I'm doing is whether it be with several spinning kicks idealistically yeah or you're bringing flare or a sweeping lary it I'm clear now those glasses there's so many glasses I get worried't worry about getting cut though. No, no, no, no, I'm closing them all off. They're hitting the floor. Oh, okay. I'm not going down. Then it's a a fucking, I'd say bottles swing and throw at the other shelves. Try to make the shelves all collapse.

Awesome. Uh, go high. God forbid they have some high level displays like the stands got those high display. No one's touching. Yeah. Did I I'm taking another stand I am bullseying a bottle of jack can you see in the middle of that and seeing how much I could take down real real hatchet toss like a fucking a fucking take it from the bottom of the you take it by the mouth of the bottle I'm trying to take down the highest level of bar with a bottle hockey. Sure. And then I probably start trying to ax kick. If the tables are particle boarding enough to be ax kicked in half. Now you're just destroying the bar bar.

Bar bar. OK, then there's some more. Oh, zing and fruit. Yeah. Zing and fruit. I would almost go with, I think I would start with a fruit medley a rain of fruit of bar fruits. I'm not bad. I didn't get the attention. Yeah. And then I want the I want the approach of one bottle at a

time really putting some on it. I'm gonna flip one thing on that and say for me the the explosion is gonna be the S the finale is the fruit coming out. Okay. That's strong finale. That's the only 3D. I would hope to grab a rack of the bottles at the end. You know, that's like up and pull that big rack. Sometimes there's a rack of bottles on the top and just pull them down.

Oh yeah, I'm going to punch, because the things you can break like that look cooler, you gotta take out. So I'm going to punch the POS system. Oh, I meant the wine glasses on the top That's what I'm gonna pull down at the end. Yeah, that's what that's good for now The bottles I'm gonna pull one at a time. Yeah, it's a Greek wedding. Yeah, I'm punching the POS system right in the chops Then I'm gonna take I want to do that remember that move from American history X when he takes the

Cash register and he fucking throws it through a thing. I want to do that Okay, I'm not assuming that I'm on a white Supremus tie-rate. Yes. Was were they in that movie? No, you are going self-looking a very, you know, that's why there's a Smashroom with the Philadelphia arena this yeah, those are like thing that was that's a thing to do. It's not a you know Yeah, I just for the record not the name of white supremacy day. There you go. Just I just want to do it It's a bar. No black loot on side. I mean now black. Blue. I think this is I'm there's a very upscale white bar Then I'm bashing apart right now. There's nothing to do. What if I told you it wasn't it was owned by an Hispanic couple They're in a great station and this was their dream

Hypothetically I go it's a gay couple, a Latino gay couple that you just destroyed their life dream. Nothing to go backwards at all, but 17 times I told somebody yesterday or just laughed out loud to Tony Roberts saying he met Rosa Parks. She's so old. She wrote a book called What Bus. Yeah. It made me laugh so fucking hard yesterday. I mean, what bus? That making me laugh was the thought that he did that such a solid joke. And then she died. It is one of the most fucking crazy things you're always like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

back to the destruction of bar. I think I would pull out all of the fridge items and do a lot of like, okay, a lot of Jackson Pollocking just all over the place. And then what's in the fridge items and do a lot of like, a lot of Jackson Pollocking, just all over the place. And then, what's in the fridge, tell me. You got your cream based things, you got bottles of beer. So you can break, you can break,

grenadine I think is out of the fridge. Is there a grenadine that was cold for some reason? No, that's room temperature. But then you can just go through and rip up all, and then I would do the bottles, then the finale would be, But then you can just go through and rip up all and then I would do the bottles then The finale would be the crescendo would be pulling down all the wine glasses from the top top now as you did to this woman Ash

Yeah, we'll show this video now wait a second before we go to the video DJ Lou Would you like to tell us how you have destroyed a barn before your are we close at all? DJ Lou, you're the John Madden of destroying bars. What is your first thing you want to do is get the perishables. Yeah, the glass is out of the way. Those are breakable. I would never hurt liquor. Oh, sweet, beautiful liquor. Oh, liquor came in all your baseball games. Yeah, he goes, no one throws the warm sauce.

No one throws it. All right, go ahead. This is a lady attacking one. By the way, check the bod. Okay. Oh, she's also she's naked. Oh, I should have told you we're both naked while we're doing this. Oh, dude.

Okay, this might change that. First thing I'm gonna do is I'm going to slowly and methodically but as quick as humanly possible fashion bar rags into an outfit for myself. Then everything I said to send in. I would do what I would do. I would go hunting. I I agree with you. I would go hunting in the hutches for an apron. Oh Yes, yes, I'd be looking for an apron and maybe like one of those like what if I'm the shaker glasses to cover my dong No, no, what if you could only wear a short little apron Man, but your little tutsies your butt. So I'm limited time to destroy this bar

He's gonna take me long as I going to really be paying attention to my angles. Yeah, you have all the time you need. Damn, I wish I was just Zach Amiko like fancy free dude. Just let my little bird hang out. I don't care. You know, it's cold in those bars. Yeah. So it's going to be little, be flopping around, but everyone, I have to do really good on

the, I don't want to be moving too much now and jiggle on the I don't be moving too much now and jiggle and I don't want to throw those kicks now that I was talking about all that shit. I was picture in sweatpants or karate pants. Oh man yeah it'll be yeah I wouldn't like when I'm reaching up for stuff there's just a lot of the pictures would be bad. Yeah yeah my nuts hanging below the apron. So a bar I think what I do is I scream it's out my lungs and open hands slap a whole Yeah, yeah my nuts hanging below the apron. So a bar I Think what I do is I Screamed up my lungs and open hands slap a whole row of alcohol bottles and run out of the bar Smash everything I

Just drinking again and then till I got confident. Yeah, we'll fuck this place up Until I got confident. Yeah, we'll fuck this place up. Fuck me, sir. I don't care if you can see my cock. I said I'm a fuck this place up. I'm like get on dress. I'm a fuck if I got smoke. I'm about to go. I'm about to go Tasmanian devil on this fucking place. I'm a get on dressed. Yeah, I'm a fuck this place. Hey, listen, if one of you guys wants to come kiss me,

I won't break a bottle of your choice. Dude, if you were to PFF. Changzo and a naked chick, I haven't seen her yet. Wait, let's do it. Check this out. We'll tweet it out at the Bonfire SXM. We'll be though. Yeah, it's Christine's.

Oh, there's a buzzer. Can you make a full screen or no? Yeah, you might wanna bring the volume down too, because there is a lot of... Hirm going off, because ladies go in lot of going off. I love that. Ladies go in crazy. Just stick through to the end. To the EU, EU.

Up on the bar. Throws the fruit. That was her first move. Naked naked. One bottle. Those titties are hot. Two bottles. Look at that. Bam. One at a time. More about the

string product than make it. By the way, when a girl's naked though, even the guys have worked there like, yeah, they're walking through in the oil. She's giving you a butthole right now if you're behind her. But hole and she's in flip flops. It looks like I think the back of her foot post up right behind her at this fucking Benihana Yeah, the shift manager does watch and there you go Hey, Reynolds, you're back on glassware Here's what I do I would call the cops and then just enjoy it, man Yeah, yeah, why get my ball?

Getting about it. Also, you're not going to put your ass on the line I'm the owner I come in and I grab her and I find a way to get my finger up her ass hole in the grab And I'm like what am I supposed to do? I own this yeah, she's destroying my prop Well, I didn't mean to bowling ball her now. She goes down. He put fingers in me I go did I I was grabbing it whatever so now here come the cops they come in they all to get down Watch her hot lady naked energy. She's destroying glasses throwing bottles at the cops at the cops Throwing bottles at the cops, you know, I you know knows she's two blow jobs away from walking on this whole thing

I would I would tell you she's won over the pants hand job from just being escorted to down Bring that back a little no watch watch the teaser. Oh, yeah Watch watch her walk up cuz she's a favorite video ever if you bring up the volume she goes I think she says something like all right. I'm done. I'm done. And then the cops like you ain't done So here we go. I'll shut up. He wanted to zapper If you take it back a little before that while she's walking up, I think you hear her be like okay, that's Throwing bottles and then she's like I'll come around See what's your turn

Flow I let it flow I I let it flow. I let it flow. I let it flow. I'm a naked Floridian lady 51 years old really good bod for 51. I'm pretty sure black luke Can you look that up, but I'm pretty sure she is 51 years old damn Why don't you get it? Yeah, dude. Are you kidding me? That's a gilf? Well, that a doubt dude them hard Florida titties though. That's what it is. Hard Florida titties. We've got a hard I said I've got a harder titties. Scottsdale or Florida. Phoenix tits or Florida tits. Phoenix. Because Phoenix is a drier heat. You see the ripples in the bag. The moisture in the air in Florida keeps them probably a little. Skins a little more like a

Pulled jiggles. Yeah, but 51 right there. That's a solid fucking profile 53-year-old Tina Kendrick Tina! Oh, that's just right there, dude I grabbed it by the shoulder and one finger upper ass and a butt cheek and I'd remove her from that bar Oh, I would I would argue it's my bar. I'm talking about my bar. I'm an employee there. Just take it in the show. I would assess the situation.

Yeah. You know, I would check probably the BH angle. And then what I'm doing to her in this moment right here is an RKO. I don't know where I'm coming up grabbing the head, pulling her down in between the bar and it's fucking no This girl lift the leg one two three we're having beers with the boys now at the holiday this girl's gone completely batch It so the my point I was being like Does she what's the argument here if you grab you're not gonna grab her by any part whatsoever, huh? I'm just going for fun. I'm going to take her out in a fun way.

You're trying to hurt her. She's breaking my bar. Yeah, but you could do that with a girlfriend she gets out alive. Do you know what I mean? I'm talking about someone you really have an option here to be like, I'm completely in the right, whatever I do. You wouldn't just try to like have your thumb,

grazer, butthole? Uh, probably. Yeah, thank, dude. Probably. That's why female crowd surfing is, should be illegal. It should be illegal. Should happen. It should absolutely not happen.

I know myself to genuinely, I would never ever take advantage of a situation like that, ever. However, in that many people, like somebody is drunk enough to be like, I'm going to slide a finger in there. I mean, that's crazy. Listen to a song. It's like for some guys By the way, but because of the crowdservids always gotta be like I did it all for the lucky You're just enjoying that and then a finger slide. Hey Sometimes you just wake up

We like shit, but even stuff where it's like sometimes you've got to trust your I think that definitely happened the Courtney love when she she crowdsurfed. It did. I mean, I might have even been at a concert when that happened, but maybe I'm just, dude, I will never forget. I was working, I was working security for, I was by working security. I mean, I sat in a car in a parking lot for a warp tour and pop a roach just dropped last resort

and a girl was crowdsurfing, they dropped her and they stopped the song and they're like Suffocation nobody okay guys. Hey guys. Let's Yeah, no good last race Okay guys guys guys guys we got to get her off and cuz she just wait I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. car and we're like in our yellow shirts like we can't do that and they're like do it and then we were high enough because we can get in high in the car that we're like what if we let it like a couple cars out my friend Chad had a had a ponyachle mons like a 72 ponyachle mons that was his dad's and like he was just like the family car and he he backed it up and we opened

it and everyone bought him a brush out and there was like oh my god, he's like what's going on Everyone's like oh fuck cuz there's just a road out of the venue and dude That was one of the most and like our boss came it just fucking shoot us. I gotta say I almost don't want this information out there because it eventually would stop, but the most malleable wheeling, you're ever gonna get in your life is with a person at parking, at VIP parking particularly.

Do you want to park close to a place where there is close parking, but there's also, like further away parking. If you're willing to give a little more, those guys will always they don't care about their job that let me test. They won't they'll move a cone. I'm going to test to find that because that was basically my job for one summer at Fiddler's Green, which is an amphitheater in Denver. Just no one's double checking every if you park in the V once you're parking the VIP lot,

your park you're going gonna go in that entrance. And by the way, you can still only go like where your ticket will take you. Do you know what I mean? But like you can just be in that. I would say, fuck spending money on a better, you gotta be willing, you gotta spend money on a better, on better parking.

Absolutely true. At the end of the show, you're gonna, you're gonna, it's gonna pay dividends for sure on the back end. But if you're willing to you're gonna, it's gonna pay dividends for sure on the back end. But if you're willing to pay double the price of parking, you'll park wherever you want to park. If it's 20 bucks, if you'll pay 40 bucks, you'll park, you'll park next to the tour bus.

If I get tickets to like a thing and someone's driving, and they pick up the parking, I'm always like, come on, don't fucking cheap on me. Don't cheap on me. Oh, like a friend being like, so general parking is this way, you're like, come on. Good parking. I got the, also if you have a laminate

from any year of a tour and show it to the parking people, you will park backstage. Oh, that was my, they have no idea. That was when I'm Kenny Rogers. I just needed to see a, that's one of my favorite things. Please go again. Oh yeah, that was that summer. I was working at Fiddler's Green,

and I was on the entrance, the artist entrance. I was in the backstage entrance for cars, and everyone had to show a land, had to show a pass to get through. You had to have a pass of some sort to get through but you're absolutely right I was not checking in detail what the passes were if you had a if you just went like this to me I was like yeah that's a person a police all the time yeah and then yeah but by the way everyone's always like that doesn't work it totally works because I didn't fucking

was it was an FBI to talk to you sternly you're like he's FBI, that doesn't work. It totally works. Because I didn't fucking love it. So it was an FBI that talked to you sternly. You're like, he's FBI. Yeah. Why don't you talk to me so sternly? And it was like this blue expedition. And it just pulled up. And the guy's like, hey, what's going on, man? I'm like, you got, you have a pass?

And he's like, no, man, I don't have a pass. I'm like, I can't let you back here unless you have a pass. And I'm 16 or 17 years old. And then in the passenger seat just leans up and he goes, I'm Kenny Rogers. And it's Kenny Rogers. And I'm like or 17 years old and then in the passenger seat just leans up and he goes I'm Kenny Rogers and it's Kenny Rogers And I'm like you are that's awesome great. Yeah, and then he just went back to and then I got to see him do the gambler that night So great. It was pretty great. I watched it. I told you that I saw him We took off our shirts and got to go watch the last song and when we walked in there was a girl kicking the shit out of her boyfriend

Yeah, like hockey style like whap whap whap the last song and when we walked in there was a girl kicking the shit out of her boyfriend. Like hockey style like whap whap whap and he was just eating it and we had our shirts off so we were like I'm not doing anything. Damn abuse husband so funny so funny so funny and he just I don't know what he did. I think he was hammered but he caught a wolf and didn't want to Richie who covered this song. Didn't he complain that he was beat up by a wife but didn't he have a domestic abuse claim really

i think so someone dare put hands on line a richi lionel lion at my bed lionel lionel what's this oh yeah line all richi's wife was arrested for allegedly hitting the pop singer this is in nineteen eighty eight after hitting the pop singer. This is in 1988.

After pop singer and a young woman, after she found them together in a woman's bedroom. No, no. Brenda Richie was booked on. Sing a dance. She was booked on suspicious of corporal injury to a spouse, resisting arrest, trespassing vandalism, battering and disturbing the piece after the early morning incident. But it was released on $5,000 bail. The other woman was identified as Diana Alexander, 22. So romantic.

Oh. Cause my dad, there's something I want you to know. No, turn that way. I'm You're my Danny. It's the bar fire. You've been listening to Sirius XM's bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM!