the bossbabe podcast - 1. Starting A Company At 13 & Growing A Multi Million Dollar Community

Episode Date: March 5, 2019

On this week’s episode, BossBabe Danielle Canty sits down with BossBabe CEO Natalie Ellis! Natalie shares what entrepreneurship means to her and how she started her first business at the age of 13 (talk about ambitious). She also shares how she turned down a comfy corporate job on hold to cultivate a multimillion dollar community. Natalie discloses why she believes you need to put your health first, her zone of genius and how she moves the needle in her business daily. She talks about her marriage non-negotiables and how she balances being married to another entrepreneur. Want more BossBabe? Head over to www.TheSociete.co and join the world’s largest community for ambitious women and female entrepreneurs!

I've always been really willing to take opportunities and I've not been scared about how I'm gonna be seen or perceived like if I see an opportunity I will jump I will jump you have to be willing to take action in a proactive way if you start your day and all you're doing is just reacting to your inbox and your social media and what people tell you to do, then you're going to get ahead, but very, very slowly. And you're not going to be taking big leaps. You're not going to be taking big leaps. Hey, it's Danielle and welcome to this week's episode on the Boss Babe podcast, a place where we share and discuss the real behind the scenes of building

successful businesses, achieving peak performance and learning how to balance it all. This episode is pretty epic. I actually got the chance to sit down with my business best date, Natalie Ellis, and you can literally hear the excitement in my voice during this interview. I want to start this episode though with a Boss Babe quote. You know we love a quote and this is one of my personal favorites and the quote is this, never apologize for being an ambitious, confident and strong-minded woman. And I want to also add you shouldn't apologize for being none of these things either because you are you and that is enough. I picked this quote though because Natalie really is an ambitious, confident

and strong-minded woman but she hasn't always been. She's had a fair share of ups and downs just like the rest of us but her motivation to grow and improve and take action is completely inspiring and I know you are going to take so many things from this episode. Before we jump into the interview though, I want to tell you about our online community for ambitious women and female entrepreneurs, The Society. Natalie and I created The Society because life as an entrepreneur can be pretty challenging and lonely sometimes. So we wanted to create a space for women to be unapologetically ambitious, to bring like-minded individuals together to learn about themselves

and build a business. So if this is something you are interested in, head to bossbabe.com to find out more. But without further ado, make yourself comfy and enjoy this very special interview. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise, keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself. Confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. I'm going to be putting Mrs. Nassie Ellis herself in the hot seat and asking her all the questions that you guys want to know from business to pleasure. There won't be a thing we don't cover today.

So I'm going to be making sure I get the down low on the extra special, the ultimate boss babe herself. So Natalie, I know that so many of us want to know, have you always been a born successful entrepreneur? I love that intro. When you said you're going to ask me everything about pleasure, I feel like you're going to dive into my orgasms. So that's fun. This is really cool. I like that you're interviewing me. I'm so excited to be doing the podcast with you. Okay. Have I always been a born successful entrepreneur? Well, I definitely wasn't born successful. I have really had to work my ass off to get where I am. But in terms of being a born entrepreneur,

yes. I'm like one of those really cliche people that's like, oh, I've always wanted to be my own boss. It starts showing up for me when I was literally like six or seven. I was that kid who had like a candy floss stand. I was selling things at school. I was always looking for different ways that I could create and sell and just really enjoy that process. But I had no idea what entrepreneurship even meant. I guess I started my first company like unofficially when I was 13. And it's when I got my first computer and I was like, right, okay, this is interesting. I love this whole idea of building websites and no one really seems to have a website right now. So I kind of dove into that and I taught

myself how to build websites, how to design logos, branding, all of that kind of thing. And then I started offering my services to different businesses. The way I would do it was I would go into like the eBay shop thing at the time and I would pitch them in their inbox and be like, hey, I see your eBay store. I think you'd really benefit from having a website. And I'd sell to them through those DMs. And it worked really, really well. It was awesome.

And then I started importing things from China and also kind of selling to bulk to all the eBay shops. I don't know if that exists anymore. I'm guessing it does. But I kind of got banned from eBay for doing this. It's all coming out now. Yeah. I guess you're not supposed to sell in DMs. And I also wasn't even old enough for a PayPal account. So I'm in business with a criminal. Yeah, exactly. I've always been super interested in entrepreneurship. I really love the idea of solving problems with people, especially in a creative way. My brain works so creatively and that's where most of my flow.

And then when I was about 15, 16, I started to understand, okay, what I'm doing is super interesting and it's called entrepreneurship and I really like it. But I had such a limited information about it. I didn't grow up with a family of entrepreneurs. I didn't really understand fully how I would turn this into a job. So I remember at that age going to my headmaster at school and pitching them, I need an entrepreneurship class. And she was like, okay. So she spoke to one of the business teachers and he was like, yeah, I'll be happy to teach that after school, but you need to make sure people are going to turn up. So I was like, right. Okay. I got my friends and actually Vanessa, who works with us on team boss babe. So I was like, right, okay, I got my friends. And actually, Vanessa, who works with us on Team Boss Babe now, she was one of the people that came in the class, which was so

amazing. She was super into entrepreneurship. We did that. And I really started to get this feel for what it was and what I could create and what that meant for my future. So then when it came time to apply to university, I was kind of at that intersection between do I apply for psychology or do I apply for business management? I loved psychology. I actually got like some of the highest grades in the whole country for my work in psychology at school. And so it seemed like a natural progression to me. I love to understand how people work. I love to know what makes people tick. And a lot of that comes from my childhood. It's a skill that I had to learn. I had no choice. I had to really understand people. But I was kind of between that or business. I knew the skills that I would learn in business, accounting and managing people would be really interesting. And what I landed on was business management, because it was really that intersection between

practical business, but also the understanding of people. And that's what really, really kind of engaged me. So I went to university and I continued with entrepreneurship. And I remember when I got there, I wanted there to be more entrepreneurship. So I started an entrepreneurship society. It ended up becoming one of the best in the country. I was invited to work with Lord Young at Downing Street and help him come up with entrepreneurship policy for young entrepreneurs. I was part of £112 million fund to help young entrepreneurs get started. That was with someone that was on Dragon's Den at the time. So that was really cool. And I got to go to Buckingham Palace to be appointed as an ambassador, which was an amazing experience. And then I also got to formulate my ideas and pitch them to the Vice- the vice chancellor at university, which actually then turned into fruition.

Because one thing that really bothered me throughout this whole thing is I don't come from a family with a lot of money. And so for me, upon leaving university, I felt like I didn't have a ton of options because I was in student debt and I didn't have any money in the bank to go and really start the company that I want to start. So I felt like I was being pushed into the corporate route, this really attractive sign on bonus and incredible job that I actually thought I did want when I first joined university. I thought that was so glamorous moving to London on this big salary and being able to consult on different businesses. And when I actually got offered that, it just didn't feel right. I just felt like I wanted to pursue my own thing. So I asked them, can you just hold this job offer for me for like I wanted to pursue my own thing so I asked them can you just hold this job offer for me for like a year and then I'll come back and do it

after I've had a year of experimentation and they were amazing they were like yes we really want you to work with us we'll give you the year but then you've got to come work for us I'm like yep so in my head I was like right I have a year to make this happen but I really wanted to help other entrepreneurs that came from similar background to me to be able to afford it and to be able to have that option so it's something I was super passionate about back then fast forward to now I had a really successful nutrition company I was manufacturing products that were in over 200 stores in the UK and then that's when I started getting involved with online communities because I realized how lonely it can be. Your journey as an entrepreneur. And I really wanted to help other people see that this was

possible for them. I didn't know what was possible for me. I feel like I almost unlocked this magical world where I started to see other people that were doing what I was doing. And I started to make some amazing friends that actually celebrated the fact that I wanted to do this. Unlike some friends at university that just totally ditched me when I didn't go and get the corporate job and started doing things that were not in the mold. So that's what led me down the path of Boss Babe. And I guess brings us to where we are now. So all in all, very cliched story, obsessed with entrepreneurship, very weird, but I love it. I love that. I've literally just been like listening the whole way through thinking, she says I'm the chatty one.

I love that. I can talk. You don't know what you've got yourself into with this interview. It's going to be me just talking, you just chiming in every now and then. So a couple of things that I really picked up on and things that I see with working alongside you as well is how important community is to you. And actually, we haven't previously discussed about your experience with psychology. And do you think with the creation of Boss Babe and growing this huge community that actually it really started when you were at university or even before that and you've always loved this relationship with psychology but also growing relationships around you bringing people together with the start of the entrepreneurship club has that always been ingrained within you

let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform kajabi you know i've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your

business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe yes always since I was young I have formed communities it's just been something that's so interesting to me and while I was at university I formed the entrepreneurship society and I was very very good at bringing

people in to this shared vision and getting them to go and execute on it I had an incredible team with me that I recruited I would try and spot different people and be like okay you're joining the entrepreneurship club I don't care that you don't interested in entrepreneurship you're very good with people and we need to bring people together and I was so passionate about that and I did that I was actually part of the pole dancing society I was a teaching rep there so I used to teach I used to help with events and bringing people in that recruitment part I would go you know set a pole up outside the students union and start drumming up attention and once people were in really really cared about cultivating that community and it's been so ingrained in me and the psychology aspect

is so important because if you don't understand people you don't understand what they want and you don't understand what's going to make them want to be part of and stay in a community then it's very hard to build so it started there and then I built a community around my company or my glow and then following on from that Boss Babe. And it's always been because whichever community it was, I have went so deep into understanding the people that are part of it and what it means to them and how I can show up in the best possible way to make them care about this mission as if it was their own. And that really is key to building a community.

People have to be spreading the word for you. People share Boss Babe content online more frequently than we do. And just to be able to say that is absolutely incredible. And that's because they feel that the mission is theirs too. What we put out there speaks to them too. And just generally as women, I mean, we have this innate need to be in communities, to be surrounded by people. This dates back from so many thousands of years ago, women would come together in tribes. And I feel like sometimes

that's been a little bit lost because we live in a patriarchal society, whether people agree with it or not. And I think a lot of that has pulled us away from the community side as women. And we're constantly on our phones and we're not making time to meet up with people in real life because we think a phone call or a text is just as good and it isn't we need to be meeting up with people in person we need to have tribes that we are supported by and feel like we really fit in and that allows us to live our truth and to come out in our best way. So it's just something that I'm so deeply passionate about. And I was reading the other day about the millennials being perceived as an unsociable audience. Actually, in fact, they're one of the most sociable because we crave interaction.

And that's why social media has taken off as it is, because we do crave interaction, whether it's online, but also this movement towards offline interactions and offline communities, I think is really, really interesting right now. Oh, 100%. I totally agree with that. And honestly, I feel this whole movement of millennials are, you know, unsociable. Actually, I see a lot of people saying, I'm an introvert, I'm an introvert. And I just want to go to them and say, look, you might love alone time. And I know it it charges you up I feel that exact same way but there's something called an ambivit which is actually solo time really charges you up and makes you feel good but you also do love spending time with people but it's got to be the right people too often we spend time with people that completely drain us and then because of that we

think we're introverts. Oh, I've been around people too much. I need to go and have some solo recharge time. Great. But if you're spending time with the right people, you'll feel charged up and you'll feel really good. So that's something I actually challenge any listeners right now with. If you constantly tell yourself, I'm an introvert, I'm an introvert.

I really encourage you to look at the people you're spending time with. After having lunch with them, do you leave feeling super recharged and your soul is nourished? Or do you leave feeling completely exhausted and you need to lie down? Because if you need to lie down, I think you need to change the people that you're surrounding yourself with. And by all means, put in time alone. Like I do that every single Tuesday night. I was just last night, I had the most soul nourishing evening and had a nice bath and I was reading and so much self-care and that really charged me up so that when I got into bed with Stephen, I was just like feeling amazing and really had that alone time and then time with him and chatting again, charged me up and filled me up. And so it's striking that balance

and understanding what kind of people you should be surrounded by. Do you relate to being an omnivore? Yeah, totally. I'm really comfortable on my own and I charge up a lot on my own. It kind of helps me keep my sanity. But at the same time, when I'm around a group of people, I was just at a mastermind a couple of weeks ago. When I'm around a group of people where I can be fully myself and talk about the things I care about that's when I feel really nourished that's where my soul feels good but when I'm in a situation where actually the people around me don't really get me and I feel like I can't be the fullest expression of myself and I have to kind of think about what I'm saying and what I'm doing that's where I feel drained. Yeah I think that's a really interesting thing to reflect on like you say being around those people that allow you to be yourself yeah actually really brings the

best out you and allows you to then settle into your own genius zone and this is like something that we talk about a lot isn't it like being able to play in your own genius zone just allows you to up level in so many ways and what do you feel like your genius zone is? I think my genius zone is my creativity. I absolutely love to create. Normally that's in the form of writing, hence why Boss Baby is, you know, viral for its quotes. I absolutely love to sit and write in a way that connects with the reader. I spent so much of yesterday just writing and writing. I love to create from having an idea to actually seeing it come into fruition. I'm really good at that early stage and kind of mind mapping what would something look like,

what elements should it have. Like I absolutely adore creating wireframes and going into Photoshop and making that come to life then handing it off. That creativity just really lights me up. I love that. Do you feel there's certain ways that you can harness your genius zones and look after it and develop it? The importance of looking after your body, whether that's like physical or mental, like how do you prep that? How do you do that on a daily basis? Yeah, that's such a good question. And honestly, that is the single most important thing to me. And for anyone listening, if your health is not your number one priority, I'm'm sorry but you need to re-examine your priorities because if you haven't got your health you're going to die and then what goes your business it's completely useless so you're

gonna die yeah like you're gonna die so it's so so important and it needs to be your number one priority and yes look sometimes we get busy and it's hard to make the time to sit and read in the morning or do the different things but you have to so for me what really works for getting myself into my genius zone 100% is the self-care element and it's putting my health first and being really really streamlined on that but honestly it's harnessing the balance between my masculine and my feminine. Your feminine energy is the creative side. It's community. You know, as women, we are literally life givers.

And so when we are able to birth ideas and create, that's when we feel really in our power. So I make a point of spending time in my feminine as well as my masculine. The masculine is the ambitious, it's the goal setting, it's the go, go, go. And I wouldn't be where I am if I didn't have the two of them working together. And I am not saying at all that I get this balance right all the time. In fact, that's something I've had to learn because I was so in my masculine that it was showing up in so many different ways with me. And we can talk about that on a different podcast. But it's actually kind of the way I see Boss babe. So like the masculine they like to do,

that's the yang and that's the boss side of boss babe. Whereas the feminine craves to just be, which is the ying and the babe side of boss babe. And we have access to both of these energies inside each and every one of us, male or female. And you're never just masculine or feminine. You're a completely unique balance of both both but typically we're primarily born with one dominant form that feels most natural to us women associated normally more with feminine and men with masculine but the way I grew up I had to hustle my arse off and that really did put me in my masculine and I honestly feel in today's society we feel like men and women are equal as long as women act a little bit more like men and I honestly feel in today's society, we feel like men and women are equal as long as women act a little bit more like men.

And I think it's total bullshit. You know, this rise of female empowerment is absolutely incredible. And look, Boss Babe is at the complete forefront of that. And with it, I think we have this responsibility to help women step into their power, but make them realize that if they continually stay in their masculine,

they're going to experience burnout. That's what adrenal fatigue is. When we overuse cortisol and adrenaline in order to be productive and keep pushing, our bodies are wired that way. And if we don't give ourselves rest, it comes out in hormonal imbalance. So long story short, you asked me a simple question, but the answer is I like to stay in my feminine. And that means, you know, taking dance classes, putting music on in the morning and just feeling into my body. It means spending longer pampering myself, whether that's a long bath on an evening or just wearing a really nice outfit in the morning. It's making sure I book in latte dates with my friends during the week. I need to fill my engine up because if I don't have

a full tank, I'm going to break down a lot more on the way than I will if I just stay on top of it. So it's so important to me and I really encourage all women to feel into what creativity is for them and to understand that if they aren't giving themselves that time to recharge and fill their tank, it is going to result in burnout we cannot just push push push all the time we need to have that balance yeah and I think that's a trap that a lot of ambitious women fall into right it's that kind of like hustle push next thing next goal and it's not allowing themselves to breathe I know I've been guilty of it in the past and there is so much power in actually taking time

away because you come back more productive and most of the time you actually get more done and you're more effective when you have those down times that if you are just constantly rushing around onto the next thing so I think it's really important for us to discuss that particularly for Boss Babe because once we're unapologetically ambitious it is really important for us that people look after themselves so I'm really glad that we've spoken about that because it's something that's quite you know we talk about privately a lot don't we you know we have these battles between us and I know you have to tell me to slow down sometimes and likewise and you've got a lot on like right slow down let's recalculate and recalibrate I think it's just really important that we share

our experiences around that as well so that other women know it's okay to actually take it slower. And often things come out better when you do that. Oh, so true. But honestly, I feel like it's sometimes a privilege to even be able to see through this lens because I remember years and years ago when I was not a successful entrepreneur and I was pushing so hard I felt like I really need to push to make this work and honestly I don't know if I would have made my business a success if I wasn't so ambitious and I wasn't so afraid of the late nights and putting in all of that work but I wish I would have known that it's okay to take time but looking back now

you know as a successful entrepreneur as the co-founder of a multi-million dollar brand I can't look back and say oh I really need to feel into my feminine I need to do more of this but it's a pure luxury and I really want to acknowledge that but for any entrepreneur on the journey whether you're pre-start your early stage or you are in a really good place I want you to know it is okay to take time and like you said often our best ideas and our best selves come from that space that we give ourselves completely the brain is so much better more reactive and can focus better when it's not in a stressed place right I want to just take you back to something you mentioned earlier and you know you said that when you were graduate when you graduated you got

offered this job and it's going to be in London really glamorous like really well paid salary but you chose to set up your own business and you spoke about being entrepreneur what does entrepreneurship mean to you because I feel like you didn't do this for the money is that correct like do you do it for a bigger passion like like tell me what it means to you yeah so entrepreneurship to me means solving problems you know I'm going to be fully honest in the beginning I thought I was doing it for the money but then when I got offered that job that was amazing money an amazing sign-on bonus that would have paid off all of my student debt whereas instead I decided to take out a credit card and go in more debt to set my company up that's when I realized it wasn't

just about the money for me it was about creating something that I am so proud of it was about creating a space where I could have full creative expression and it was about creating freedom. I wanted to travel. I wanted to have freedom of finances. I wanted there to be no limit on what I was earning. I wanted freedom to work on the things that really mattered to me. I wanted freedom in my schedule. I didn't want to be in an office nine to five. I mean, as an entrepreneur, you will be in the office a lot longer than that, but it really me was all about the freedom and it sounds so cliche but I've always connected to this idea of being an entrepreneur and creating and solving problems and having a bigger mission that was about more than just me I so deeply care about

every single woman in our community and I want them to know that they can access just exactly what I did and the way that that has changed my life is like every single day that even this morning I have to pinch myself that this is the life I've created and I want other women and other men to know that they can do that too and that's what gets me up in the morning I love that that's so true I think if you're only motivated by money it'll only ever get you so far as well because it doesn't get you up in the mornings that are really, really hard and get you pushing your business onto the next level. And I think it has to kind of maybe come down to that why, right? Yeah. We've spoken a lot about the why of Boss Babe, but like that deep rooted, like why are we doing this? And it's bigger than you and I, right? Totally. It's for all the other

women out there and paving the way. and I right totally for all the other women out there and paving the way and I think when anyone connects with their business like that it does succeed because it has to succeed because there's no way you're giving up on it yeah I really want to delve into the personal side of Natalie and yeah I know right I want us to chat a little bit about your relationship with Stephen because I think it's really important and I've seen you guys have such a magical relationship and I'd love you to say like talk openly about the things that work well when you're also married to an entrepreneur and the things that are a little bit challenging because I think a lot of women out there

their husbands might not really understand their entrepreneurial need or their ambition. And how does Stephen cope with having such an ambitious wife? He'll probably tell you it's hard. That's what Greg, I reckon. Yeah, absolutely adore this man. We do have the most special relationship. I think from the get-go he knew what he was getting when from that very first date when I got into his car you know it was part

of his wedding vows he was like I knew I had a really strong woman on my hands so I think it helps he's always known what he what he was getting into but the biggest and most important thing is communication there are weeks where you know I have neglected my marriage in favor of my business because there's things that I've wanted to get done and he doesn't really hold that against me but I have to communicate it and so say to him this is important to me because it means this and just being really really open with that and I kind of expect the same of him too like if he is putting in an extra week where I'm not going to see him as much then I want to know what he's working on what that means to him and just having that open line of communication we have non-negotiables

which has been a really really strong part of our marriage and really gets us through those harder times where we are both pushing every single night we have dinner together unless we've got something on we sit down at the table you know our phones are nowhere in sight and we just really enjoy a nice dinner together and we chat through the day and we try not to focus on work but actually just focus on each other how each other's feeling checking in and then another non-negotiable is when we go to bed together we make sure we go to bed together every single night and we lay in bed and we do our gratitudes three things that we are grateful for. And we change it up sometimes, like we might actually do like a reflective session and really reflect on each other. Tonight, I really enjoyed when you did this. It made me feel really good when you did this. But another

night might be today, I am grateful for this, this and this. And so changing it up, but just making sure that we really are communicating on a deep level is so important. And I think any relationship where you're both busy, you need to have those non-negotiables and then they're going to be different for each and every one of you, but you need to know what the other person expects from you and what they want from you. You know, sometimes as women, we expect men to just know what we want and they're never going to know. They're not built to know. But if you tell them what you need and what you want from them in order to be happy, they will bend over backwards to make that happen for you. They just want to make you happy. So having that really clear line of communication and say, hey, I really

need this from you this week, or I didn't like it when you did this because I wanted more of this. And they'll listen. So communication, communication for me and Stephen we don't really work together very much because I think we might kill each other but we do kind of lean into each other's businesses and projects and that's really nice because we can see to that in our genius zones and it's quite attractive but we don't work together a ton and we do try and just spend when our time is together we just spend it not talking about work yeah and you spoke about like needs and I know that Greg and I have done the love languages which we found really useful like so understanding what makes the other person feel really loved because quite often it's different for the individuals within the relationship

so mine is definitely words of affirmation like I need to be told that I'm doing well, or I'm told that I'm loved. Like that means a lot to me. And actually gifts don't mean as much and acts of service don't mean as much to me either. And whereas Greg, that's really high on and quality time is really high. So I've had to really learn his so that I can deliver love in the correct way. Have you guys done the love languages as well? Yeah, ours are really similar. Mine is words of affirmation and quality time. And his is quality time and acts of service. He loves if I take the bins out. Oh, that's quite easily pleased.

So easily pleased. Yesterday, I brought him home a cupcake and made him a cup of tea. And you would have thought I'd just give him a million dollars. It's just, it's so nice when you really understand what makes someone feel loved there is no better gift than you can give to someone than to make them feel loved and appreciated so we always joke don't we so Nassi's married to Stephen but I'm her business wife yeah husband and a wife and vice versa yeah we are two marriages over here yeah and I think that's

probably good for us to talk about as well right and we can save most of it for another podcast but I do think it's important that whenever you are working closely in a team whether it's having a business partner or you are working closely with someone on a project that you spend time learning about people's personalities so whether that's if you're in a relationship and understanding love languages or whether it's you are in a more business setting and you're doing personality tests to understand like how the other person works I think a lot of our success comes down to is like we're really good at communicating like you and I are both very honest about our feelings and we're both also

receptive to understanding how the other one feels and if we do have any things that we want to bring up we make sure that we're listening and receiving and then changing around that and I think that goes for any relationship in any business in personal and non-personal do you agree? I 100% agree like what you just said is gold and I think if you are the receiver whether it's in a business relationship or your personal relationships you need to be a receiver understanding that it's coming to you in a bubble of love so allowing someone to be really honest with you might scare a lot of people oh I don't want to get that feedback I don't want them to criticize me but if you can tell yourself okay this person does not mean to upset me they truly mean what

they're saying with love and they're doing it because they want our relationship to be better they're doing it because they want me to be better then you can receive it in a much better way and it won't cause all of those fights and it allows you to be a lot more self-aware and be like oh I didn't notice that about myself but I'm so grateful that you've pointed that out so that I can become even better I can show up for you because I so care about you and it's going to make our relationship better and I think that is absolutely key to being able to receive the honesty and feedback and you know I think it just helps that the two of us are just generally nice people like we would never want to hit each other's feelings

exactly right and I also think it comes down to like having those like growth mindsets like have you always had a growth mindset yeah always I've never had a limited mindset I've never put myself in a box and I've never told myself I can't do something doesn't mean it's always been easy and there's definitely days where I have a lot of self-doubt and I have the imposter feeling but I have a full growth mindset in the sense that one of my biggest motivations in life is to every single day become better and to become my absolute highest expression of myself in work in relationships in my personal life and just approaching my day-to-day with that mindset just everything flows to you so much easier why do you think that way I honestly don't know I

really truly care about being my best self and I always have I care about showing up as my most high performing self every single day I care about what I'm creating I care about the people that I spend time with and I want to be my best self for them I care about what I'm creating I care about the people that I spend time with and I want to be my best self for them I care about having an impact on the world I care about being fulfilled and when I dive deep into fulfillment for me it is growth I think that's for me as an onlooker I think that's probably one of the reasons you've been so successful so young it's because you're always willing to learn and you're always wanting to improve yourself and I think that's just so powerful and for anybody who is ambitious I think our most ambitious people are like that but there's a certain category of person

who takes it to another level they're actively trying to do something every single day to grow yeah I'm a full action taker. That's also something Stephen put in our marriage vows, which I guess says a lot about our relationship. But I just get shit done. I take full action and responsibility for absolutely everything in my life. And I will not rest till I get shit done to a standard that makes me happy. I truly care about that. And I think another thing is I've always been really willing to take opportunities and I've not been scared about how I'm going to be seen or perceived like if I see an opportunity I will jump at it like I even remember back to when I was at

university Richard Branson was opening a bank and I snuck in and I told them I was with Bloomberg and I was coming to interview Richard and I got a chance to go and meet him I've met him twice but that was the first time and I got a chance to chat with him and tell him about what I was with Bloomberg and I was coming to interview Richard and I got a chance to go and meet him. I've met him twice, but that was the first time. And I got a chance to chat with him and tell him about what I was interested in. And, you know, I got that because I was not willing to just like let things flow to me and take a chance. I was ready to see an opportunity and jump on it. And I think we have to be like that in order to grow and in order to achieve what we want to achieve. We have to see gaps and opportunities and be willing to dive in headfirst even if someone's going to turn around and say no even if it's not going to work out who gives a fuck at least you tried how do you deal with rejection when that does happen rejection is just a part of life you have to be completely

disattached and understanding that rejection is not a reflection of you you're not being rejected because you're not good enough or someone dislikes you whatever you have to be unattached from that you've been rejected because it's not meant for you it's not the right time maybe you're not the best fit that doesn't mean you're a bad person it doesn't mean you're not good enough you have to be okay with that so true so for lots of our unapologetically ambitious audience what are like the top three things that they should be focusing on if they want to move forward in their business or move forward in their career or start something new like where do you feel like they should start good question

so the first thing is turn inward give yourself an actual chance to be proactive as opposed to reactive you know I say a lot you should follow your gut instinct but if you truly don't even know what your gut instinct wants then you are going to experience such a disconnect so every single day give yourself time to turn inward and reflect on what you truly want what your intention is and how you are going to go into your day into your relationships into. So turning inward, you know, meditating is a great way to do that. Just sitting with your thoughts is a great way to do that. Whatever it is, turn inward, journaling, all of these things are so powerful. So that's my first

thing. Second thing is you have to be willing to take action in a proactive way. You know, if you start your day and all you're doing is just reacting to your inbox and your social media and what people tell you to do, then you're going to get ahead, but very, very slowly. And you're not going to be taking big leaps and moving the needle. So every single week I sit with my Evernote template, which you can get in the society. If you remember, I sit with that and I think of what are the three big, big things I want to move the needle on this week and achieve. And then each day I'll reflect on those big three things. And I'm like, okay, what did I do towards those things? Am I actively working on making things better? Or am I just constantly reacting? That is so, so important. And then the third thing, you have to look after your health. And that means taking like a snapshot

of your energy, assess where you're at, your hormone levels levels what is holding you back because if you're feeling low energy if you're not able to focus if you are not feeling comfortable and confident yourself that's really going to hold you back and you can kind of stem a lot of that back to your diet and your lifestyle so really re-evaluate what that looks like for you and live a lifestyle that makes you your most high performing and highest version of yourself good answers I like that even I took notes I was like I love that you're just boosting me up there it made me feel good I know so I've also got a quick fire round for you which I have not told you about at all but I was like oh I want to get some like little bits of detail out here okay

no I'm just gonna keep it really fun but you can't think too long okay just a couple of questions so favorite color like a nudie pink very boss babe favorite food any kind of cake but like a chocolate fudge cake or a chrome brulee something like that favorite book I don't have a favorite book but I remember one of the earliest books I read that had such an impact on me in my business life was how to win friends and influence people and I 100% recommend everyone has a copy that's the psychologist coming out on you again hasn't it yeah the trick to building such good community favorite app oh my favorite app is probably evernote oh love evernote and then last one because it's got to be done favorite quote oh she believed she could so she did ah

amazing i love that thank you so much natalie for letting me interview you. It was so much fun. My pleasure. I know this is so much fun. I love it. And we will be back next week with another interview. If you enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you subscribed and left us a review. Let us know what you enjoyed, what your main takeaways were, and who you'd like to see appear on the show. As a special thanks, we'll send you a copy of our Boss Babe 25. Now this is an awesome resource. It's the 25 essential things that you need for personal and professional growth. We've included everything from must-have products, to books, to rituals. This guide literally covers it all,

and I know you're going to love it so if you