the bossbabe podcast - 12. The Realness Episode: Personal & Business Struggles We’re Facing at BossBabe

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

In this week’s episode, co-founders of BossBabe Natalie and Danielle are together in LA. They just got back from three retreat days of brainstorming, strategizing and vision boarding the future of BossBabe at the beach and tell us all about it. They dive right into the fine balance between intrinsic and extrinsic values of happiness in life and in business and being conscious to fixate more on how we want to feel vs. what we want to buy. They’re all about aligning their businesses to their lifestyles and leading by example. Natalie and Danielle chat openly about the biggest struggles they are facing personally right now. They talk about self-doubt, imposter syndrome, surrendering expectations and how to overcome those feelings as leaders. They discuss the importance of having hobbies, cathartic activities and positive triggers to instill intentions, mantras and/or personas for life. Natalie shares important tools she uses to balance work and her personal life and how she reaches her goals for what she wants those to look like. This episode is sponsored by IGA. A twelve week accelerator designed to help you grow and monetize your Instagram account. www.instagrowthaccelerator.com

Here's my vision and here's what I want but if that doesn't happen I know something bigger and better is gonna come along anyway. Do you think you could hold some space for me? Just like cry right now and you're like let's go do it. Yeah and I think that's powerful but asking for permission is good. Whether you're an ambitious woman or a female entrepreneur everyone has the right to have that immediate connection with one to five people. Welcome to the Boss Babe podcast, a place that we share with you the real behind the scenes of building successful businesses, achieving peak performance and learning how to balance it all. Nazzy and I are hosting this episode together and you are going to love it

because you basically get to be a fly on the wall to Natalie and I chatting just last week whilst I was in LA. We had a proper business bestie girls chat. We were talking about everything from finding balance, intrinsic and extrinsic values, aligning our business with our lifestyle and what we got up to on our company offsite. So whilst in this episode I shared my thoughts on imposter syndrome and self-doubt, Natalie shares the tools she uses to balance work and her personal life. So it seems appropriate the boss babe quote for this episode is, think more about all that you are rather than what you are not. Because when you focus your energy on all that you can offer the world, that's when you truly flourish. And speaking of flourishing,

shout out to the members of our Instagram growth course who are killing it right now. We have this super special community and Natalie and I are just loving seeing everyone share their wins on how they are growing their social and monetizing it. There are women and the odd man who have product based businesses, service based businesses, e-commerce stores, brick and mortar companies and they are all seeing awesome results as they work their way through the modules which is what it's all about for us. So if you want to learn the exact Instagram strategy we've used to build Boss Babe into a global brand with over 1.1 million followers, as well as for countless other clients, it's here and it's called Insta Growth Accelerator.

So all you need to do is head to instagrowthaccelerator.com to find out more and how it can help you sell your programs and products. And if you buy now, we are actually offering $1,000 off as an early bird bonus. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise, keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself, confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own version of success so we're actually recording this podcast in person which is really amazing because we're normally like across a very big ocean but daniel's been in la for the past week which has been awesome and we

actually did an off-site where we both just went to an Airbnb, which was super cute on the beach. And we just did so much brainstorming, mind mapping, vision boarding, strategizing. It's been epic. But it's your last day today. I know. I'm so sad about leaving, but it's been absolutely incredible. I just love coming out here and I love the energy in LA. It's been so nice to hang out with you and do this in person. I know. What's been your favorite thing about LA? I have to say like just taking time away from the business and just locking ourselves in that cute little beach house

and just brainstorming. And it was so fun because we just had those huge A1 sheets of paper just all over the walls by the time we left. Yeah. I actually heard someone say that instead of always investing in going to other people's retreats they will spend that money on a really nice Airbnb and even go solo if they don't have a business partner and just spend time like writing on those big sheets having paper everywhere and just getting like a full picture and I think it's kind of crazy how we as entrepreneurs take

out of the business. Yeah. And I think sometimes it's so easy, the whole like left brain and right brain, it's so easy to kind of send that left brain side and very like automated and like, okay, what do I need to do next? And actually kind of forget that creative side of things. And it's just so important to come back to that when you're growing a business, because just pulling out from it, I think is, it just allows you to gain perspective and see things that you don't necessarily see when you're in the day-to-day grind of it yeah what do you think's been like your biggest takeaway from doing the retreat like in terms of business I think for me it was really powerful when we had that really long walk on the beach we talked about our lifestyle and making our lifestyle

aligned to the business one thing I really care about is I think as entrepreneurs sometimes we can get caught up in the vision of the business and we use ourselves as vessels to help the business achieve its vision and its mission whereas I really challenge that perspective I think when you consider the wheel of life actually being an entrepreneur and your work is just one part of it so how can you then use your business vision to carry your personal vision through because I do actually think your mission with how you impact the world can be really separate to your business as well and I found that to be so important what we were working on yeah I completely agree and I think for me that comes down to like intrinsic and extrinsic values of happiness

because an intrinsic value of happiness is say, for example, let's say I'm going to play the piano just for the joy of playing the piano. Like I get happiness in that moment and that extrinsic value of happiness is like, okay, I'm going to play the piano because I'm going to earn money. So let's say I'm doing a concert, right?

And for me, building Boss Babe is all about getting the balance between the intrinsic values and the happiness on the journey, not just because we're aiming for a certain point. And I think that's what I've really gained from this week, really. It's just like having those conversations with you and like you say, using it as as a vessel not only to help so many women but also make sure that we're creating an environment that we're happy and intrinsically as well I think I could definitely be better at doing things just for the fun of them like not tied to business because even arguably like I don't ever read business books really I'm super into like personal learning and growth books but even that impacts your business all of the work so yesterday we went to a sound

bath we did breath work acupuncture like all the things and yes that feels great for self-care but also it is kind of linked to the business because the better we take care of ourselves I mean the more money we're going to make the more impact we're going to make, the more impact we're going to have. But I don't know I have that many hobbies where I just go and do them and like not have any kind of ROI on them. I think hobbies is a really interesting topic as you get older. Because when I was younger, I did everything like I played basketball. I was like playing the clarinet and playing the piano, doing brownies or guides. You guys have that in the US here. But like you say, you just kind of like have things that you do for fun. And I do feel that as I've got older, I have lost a lot of those things. And for me, that's been like a real big motivator this year is trying to get some of those things

back. What do I actually enjoy? And what do my hobbies look like now? They might not necessarily look like playing the piano anymore, but they do look like making sure I go for a hike every Sunday. Because not only do I find that grounding, but I enjoy it. Like I enjoy the moment of it. And it was just actually before I had out here, was just looking at, I like and I see the importance of being fit and going to the gym, but I actually really dislike going to the gym. And that was coming down to that whole intrinsic

versus extrinsic. I'm not enjoying going to the gym. I just want to be fit and healthy. So how can I enjoy getting exercise into my life? And that's something I've been searching. So I've booked actually a couple of classes when I get back to try different things so that I can actually enjoy the moment of it and not trying to crave the result that I think it should drive. Yeah, I feel you. I've been there. You're painting this weekend, right? Yeah. That's So cool hobby. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely not a hobby, but what me and one of my friends do is just try and take really interesting classes. So last weekend was going to be a flower arranging class. And this weekend is going to be painting.

I really get a lot from channeling creative energy where there's no like end goal. So like creating our vision board, I'm not going to sell it. I'm not going to show it to anyone, but it's just for me. And whether it's painting or whatever it is, I love doing that where I just channel some energy out there and it's just there. And one thing I actually do when I'm in the office, if I'm getting into like, I don't know if I've been working on too many operational things or just getting tasks done. And then I go to write something and I'm not in that creative state of mind at all. I actually like pull out a blank piece of paper and I do like creative mind mapping or something.

And I do it all with different colors and I really lean into that artistic side of myself. And I find half an hour later, I find this process so cathartic and it puts me in such a different headspace. And I know people like color in and do things like that. But generally, I think I could be better at it. I want to start singing lessons.

People do not want me to start singing lessons. I used to sing so much when I was younger. Did you? That's so cute. I just want to touch on that fact though about you taking pen to paper, because we obviously work across the Atlantic and different time zones and different continents. And so a lot of our work is done online so that we can share it in Google Drive, et cetera. But sometimes I feel like working on a computer a lot really stunts my creativity, like the creative side of my brain. And actually, I think there's a lot to be said about. So yesterday it was amazing because with the team, we just had the whiteboard and we just put our computers away and we were on the whiteboard creating diagrams and just flowed so much more naturally than having to sit there on a computer and put everything into place. Do you find that when you're doing writing etc that sometimes it's easier to write on pen and paper than it is on your computer?

Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business.

You know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet, now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial. Go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day

free trial. That's kajabi.com slash boss babe. Yeah, always. Journaling is such a big thing for me. I've literally got my journal in front of me. I journal pretty much every single day. It really goes into my subconscious. I get a lot better answers and I also come away from it feeling very different and even when I write my goals I always write them pen to paper and then I'll copy them into like a google doc or whatever but always pen to paper what do you mean by you come away feeling different if I journal and you know I'm digging into my subconscious and I'm seeing what's there. And I'm journaling it pen to paper. I come away feeling different to how I might feel if I'm just writing how I feel on a Google

Doc on my laptop. Like I come away feeling like it's almost been a form of meditation for me. I just come out of it in such a different zone. I always put my phone on airplane mode when I'm doing it. And I just come out of it in a totally different zone I love that let's double click on journaling because I feel like it's a term that gets thrown around a lot but actually for those who I'm going to say successfully journal like they go to it a lot and they do find it very cathartic which I know you do how do you start off that process so how are you like right I'm sat here I want to journal where

do you start like what do you write first? This is a really good question because I actually was just recording a module on copywriting for IGA this morning. So that's very interesting. And I think that stops a lot of people in their tracks where they pick out their journal and they're like, well, I don't have anything interesting to say today. So I'm not going to do it. I'm going to go and read instead.

And I say, what are you avoiding? What is taking up so much space in your head right now that you can't physically find anything to talk about? And I say, sit with that question. And so it's something I do a lot. And I don't know if it's a millennial thing or it's just happened because of technology, but it's something I notice a lot and I have read a lot about in books too, where people are afraid to be. So they're afraid to not be stimulated. So someone sitting on the sofa and not having a podcast going or not watching TV or not being scrolling through Instagram or playing music, not playing with their puppy or talking to a friend, just sitting, just being. For a lot of people, that's a really overwhelming thing. And I think that's why a lot of people shy away from meditation. They're like, what?

10 minutes just sitting there doing nothing or a sound bath. What, an hour lying there and just like doing nothing? Acupuncture, lying there for an hour doing nothing. And that's really scary for people. And I think when it comes to journaling or when it comes to any kind of cathartic activity that you're doing, if you're finding it very, very difficult to be, ask what you're avoiding. and I think when it comes to journaling or when it comes to any kind of cathartic activity that

you're doing if you're finding it very very difficult to be ask what you're avoiding because I can speak from personal experience that when I've been in that place where I'm journaling mindlessly there's just nothing of interest coming out firstly I think that's good I think if you want to be a better writer you should write every single day even if you haven't got anything useful to say. Write about your t-shirt, write about your grandma, write about what you're grateful for, use journaling prompts, and eventually you'll get to a point where it just flows a lot easier. But sit with that question right at the top of the page, what am I avoiding? And it might come up, I'm avoiding this feeling, I'm avoiding this conversation. Okay, why? Okay, why is that bothering you? Oh, why are you so afraid

to sit here in silence? And go, I love the seven whys. Ask why seven times and you'll get to a really detailed response. I love that. And also that whole thing that I've said before, fear doesn't like to be named. So sometimes it gets so much bigger in your head. And then when you kind of like, actually, this is what I'm avoiding and this is why I'm running it down. And actually, do you know what? It's really not that bad that bad now yeah it always feels better when you come away from it and I almost argue that you can't have such a therapeutic session if you're typing on your laptop as you could if you ask that question with pen to paper yeah I don't know I feel like when you're on your computer it doesn't peel back the layers as much I feel like when I'm in my journal and

maybe it's a subconscious trigger like I know when I open my journal like it's time to leave my bullshit behind and I'm ready to open up and write but a lot of that comes with practice it's funny because throughout school I was very mathematical I wasn't a writer I was more on the logical side than the creative side I did so well in maths I loved algorithms like all that kind of thing but then obviously as I started getting into my career and I started to study Instagram a lot and social media and I started to see the marketing world because I didn't study marketing I did management again that's a very logical thing like very very different and as I started to lean into the writing side I just had to start writing more because I've always been a big reader but I wasn't a big writer and I started this thing it was a few years ago where I would pull up a google doc and I

would write every single day without fail even if I had to sit there just look at the page I wasn't allowed to pick my phone I wasn't allowed to do anything that was distracting and I just had to write like I said before you end up writing about all kinds of different things but eventually something of value will start coming up and then you can use it for content then you can use it however you want maybe you never want to use it the other day I was speaking at one of my friends events Daniel DiPiazza and I decided to read a few pages of my journal I never wrote that with a purpose of sharing it was very personal but as you all know I'm an open book and so you never know where you might be able to use it to help someone else

too and that was really impactful for a lot of people who are there you're sharing those pieces of wisdom well I guess they weren't even written in wisdom but actually just sharing them right yeah vulnerability right yeah and then helping people move through there because I do find this as well like one thing I think we're known as millennials is we are fundamentally the loneliest right now. And why is that? We are exposed to so much content. We have social media platforms. Yet we're still all declaring.

It was very interesting. I heard a statistic that they asked Americans something like 30 years ago that if you had a problem and you needed to go to somebody, how many friends would you be able to go to? And the answer was five. And they recently repeated that study, and the answer was zero. The most popular answer, most people were feeling that they didn't have anybody that they could go to. And the reason I brought this up in this conversation is because I think

that when we all start talking about this a bit more and we start sharing our vulnerabilities like you did, like you wrote in your journal, which was something very, very personal. It wasn't intended to be shared, but actually it was very, very impactful for those people that were there and just sharing your story and your journey and myself sharing mine that actually, do you know what? It's okay to say I feel a little bit lonely sometimes it's okay to say that I've got fears and even if you don't feel like you can share them with somebody like almost like using that journal as something to start exploring those feelings more and bring them to the surface so that perhaps then you are in a position that you do want to share them with you know a select few. I like that a lot

when did we start feeling like we had to have our shit together in all aspects of it? Like, when did we start feeling like sharing what's truly going on makes people like us less? It's very interesting because I think I gravitate more to being inspired by people and feeling connected to people, even if I don't know them and they're just on social media, from them sharing the true behind the scenes. value that so highly it's so much easier to say than do and I've been trying to share a lot more of what's going on behind the scenes for me lately and I literally even cried doing it on Instagram sorry because I was so terrified and even for us where we've been showing up online for a really long time it's still terrifying yeah completely and I would also say like for people listening I think it's important to say that you don't have to share everything online either but I think it's really important to be having those conversations with people around you so Natalie is pushing you feel that in your position you really want to push through that and share it with people but I would just say as well like I think there's this also this pressure

of people feeling like they have to share everything online. And actually, that isn't the case for everybody. And that some people should just be like, okay, who are my five people? Let's try and focus on everybody getting five people that they can share something with and be vulnerable with. My biggest goal is making sure that I'm the person that people can turn to and discuss things with. I never want to be that person who's unapproachable things or, like you say, puts on this facade that everything's always amazing when actually that's complete bullshit behind the scenes. And, you know, there's always going to be ups and downs of life.

I feel like you have to have the lows so that you can appreciate the highs because if you were constantly at that, like, oh, I'm okay, then that's pretty boring too. And just kind of honoring that journey but making sure that surrounding yourselves and that's what is probably like one of those heartwarming things I've seen within this I see is like women and they're making like best friends

that they can be vulnerable with and sharing their fears because whether you're an ambitious woman or a female entrepreneur or maybe you're not ambitious at all everyone has the right to have that immediate connection with one to five people I think it's sad that people are saying they don't have that I love that so much and actually when I was speaking on Saturday the whole reason I want to read for my journal is because the whole event was on like psychedelic conversations so we were talking about all aspects of personal growth and what's really helped us dive deeper into ourselves and become even better versions of ourselves. And I think for me, even though I've done tons of different things like that, I've sat in ceremonies, all of those things, actually what came so strongly out of all of it is that connection and I feel like that comes when people feel like they can say whatever they want to say and they won't be judged for it

they feel like people see them and love them anyway and when everyone's open and sharing what's really going on I think you create this incredible bond I think as leaders as well you know we do have that responsibility to lead by example and by showing like you know what I'm going to open up and I can still be loved for it and I even remember Stephen a few months ago was saying I wish I had the kind of friendships that you do in a sense where you can dive in and really talk about whatever's going on for you whether it's your relationships or you're maybe stuck in a bad mindset or you're struggling with business whatever it is you have people to turn to and I think guys are less open and I was like

well be the change you want to see in the world if you want your friends to be more open why don't you lead it because that's where you're feeling can you imagine how many of your friends just like waiting for you to cut the bullshit and say someone says says, how are you? Well, actually, like, I'm not doing that well right now. Here's why. That's so powerful. Like leading, not necessarily by example, but like leading by doing and redefining what it means around strength. Brene Brown always says, a sign of your strength is your ability to be vulnerable. It's such a strength. And I think we can all tap into that. And also, like you say, making sure we're asking those people close to us how are you feeling about this because sometimes it just needs that question yeah and then when they do reply honestly just like not even trying to fix it just being like wow that must be really hard I feel that's what something that's really special in our relationship

we can always be our total selves and be like okay I'm having I'm having a wobble about this or I'm really grumpy today yeah actually one thing I think that we do really really well is we ask permission to be emotional or like to be a bit of a mess there's times where like I'll come on a call with you and we'll have our like catch-ups and you'll kind of give your update and I'm like yep yep and then I'm like do you think you could hold some space for me to just like cry right now and you're like let's go do it. Yeah and I think that's powerful but asking for permission is good because there's times also where I might want to go home to Stephen and just have a bit of a whinge but he's also had a really tough day and I'll, do you think you could hold some space for me? And just rant.

And he'll honestly say, honestly, not right now. And I'm like, okay. And rather than you coming in and expecting that it's anyone else's job to hold space for you, which I really don't think it is, rather than coming in and saying that it's, you know what? No, I'm not in that space right now. Is there anyone else you can speak to? Or what if you came back to me in half an hour and I could give you my full attention?

I think that's very, very powerful. And again, I think that's another way of getting more connection with people too. Rather than offloading, like you say, you're pre-framing it. Okay, this is coming. I need to stand. It's not about you. It's about me. I need to vent it. And then they can make sure that they're, like you say, coming at it with the right attitude as well. Okay. I want to ask you a personal question. What have you really struggled with lately? In a business sense or personal sense? It can be anything, really. I think for me, I do suffer a bit with imposter syndrome. I have spoken about it before and like self-doubt and being like, okay, one minute I'll be like, yes, I can totally do this. I am like so up for this journey. I'm so up for this like path and I'm prepared to do whatever

it takes. And then there's other moments where you're like, oh my God, what have I said I can do? Can I actually do this? Danielle, what are you thinking? Because you know, sometimes you're like, you look at someone else like, oh, if they can do that, I can totally do this. Danielle, what are you thinking? Because you know, sometimes you look at someone else, like, oh, if they can do that, I can totally do this. And then you start going, and then it's like, okay, this is a lot more challenging than I thought. Okay, can I actually do this? And there's like moments of self-doubt and being able to be like, I think for me, like when I ever feel like that, I look at other people and just be like, okay, well, it's never straightforward for everybody. These leaders that we see and we put sometimes on a pedestal, they are still human. Everyone makes mistakes. And I think that's one thing that I'm really like working through is that it's okay to have failures as long as I keep

getting up, right? So the moment I truly fail is when I stop trying. And my personal decision is that I will never stop trying if it's something that actually truly matters to me and will make a difference. And I guess it's like coming back to that whole intrinsic and extrinsic of being going, okay, look, this matters on an intrinsic level. I might not necessarily be fully enjoying it now, but I do enjoy it and it's helping me become a better person. And when I'm feeling these loads, I also know what the highs feel like. So I think that's for me, just that self-doubt piece sometimes. Yeah. I think so many people listening can really relate to that. For me, what's been hard for me lately? I think I'm in a space of surrender. And I know that sounds really

like airy-fairy, but I think I'm the kind of person where I have a very, very strong vision. And I truly believe in my ability to get myself there. I almost have expectations and Stephen even says to me sometimes like this is one of his biggest complaints about me I'll like come in and I'll ask him a question but in my head I'm already 10 steps ahead of that question I have an expectation of what his response is going to be how I'll respond to that how like you can amount to 10 steps ahead and he'll reply and then I'll respond. He'll be like, well, actually, like, why did you ask me? Because you had an expectation of what you were going to say.

So why not lead with that? And I think for me, just like getting rid of that expectation and surrendering all expectation to here's my vision and here's what I want. But if that doesn't happen, I know something bigger and better is going to come along anyway. If not that, then I'm open to something else and I think I have a very growth mindset but I'm fixed in what I want so I know exactly what I want always have and I think that's gotten me so far but now I'm trying to be like

okay well what if I just like created a bit of space for myself to explore here? What if I wanted that, but I'm willing to change up how I'm going to get there? Or what if I'm willing to sacrifice the fact that that might not happen because I'm allowing a space for all of these opportunities to come in? And also, are your wants, so you're saying like, okay, I know what I want, but are those things material things or are they feelings because I think this is a very interesting point too right we can become fixated on the material aspects of things so like we want that house or we want that car or we want that job or we want to be friends with those people whatever it is but do we actually say like okay I want to feel like this and then what we first started talking about in the beginning of this

conversation was that whole business being a vessel. And does it come back down to that? Do we all need to be a little bit more conscious about what we're wanting? Because I can 100% say there were studies done that if you earn more than, I think it was like £70,000 or dollars in a year, it doesn't actually make you any more happier. Okay. Granted, that would be different from whichever place that you grow up in or live. Definitely not California. Yes. But I think the point is material things really do not buy you happiness. So should it be like we're asking ourselves, like, what does happiness look like for me? Like, what is that

balance between work and life? What is that balance between family life or my relationship with my partner? And how do I lean into those things? And perhaps, okay, happiness means that three evenings out a week, I'm doing things with friends. And then two evenings out a week, I'm doing things with my partner or my family. And how can I put those things in place to reach that goal? I love that so, so much. And you actually touched on something which I think we can all incorporate. When you're creating vision boards or maybe you're creating like phone backgrounds or you're setting your intentions for the week, setting that intention of how you want to

feel is so powerful. And we were just doing it the other morning. So Danielle was coming on my daily commute since she's here we were driving to the office every single morning I have this gratitude practice where I like open my windows I have all of the warm California air coming in and I say out loud preemptive gratitude so today I'm so grateful that I did this today I'm so grateful I felt this and every single morning it starts with today I am so grateful that my day just flowed with ease and I felt so good and I think you're so right in that it's so easy to see all of the things you

want to buy or achieve or see or have as opposed to okay well what's the feeling behind this another thing we did a retreat was these placebo pills that was fun yeah I was at the bulletproof conference a few weeks ago and there was an amazing speaker there and he was talking all about the power of placebo and he basically had created these pills just filled with brown rice powder nothing special and they kind of looked like the matrix pills though they're purple they're in these fancy glass jars and he was like there's something so powerful about setting an intention and then swallowing a pill because you can't take it back and he said some amazing things happen where people will set intentions and they take the pill and they go and lose a ton of weight or their

business doubles in revenue or they find their soulmate whatever whatever it is. And he was talking about that, what he calls the activation process. And it's the coaching that you do before taking the pill. And he did some demos of people on stage. And one woman came on stage and was like, I would like to take this pill and be able to build a community center. And he was like, great, why? Why do you want to build a community center? And he really dug into what that emotion was. And we did that really similar thing where it started for me, this is the health thing that I want to be able to fix or help. And we were like, why? What is the feeling that I would have if I fixed that piece? So I loved doing that exercise. And we both really dove into the emotion and we both took a pill to really amplify the emotion that we want to feel and I think one of the things we can bring

back to of having that surrendering is okay well if this is the emotion that I want to feel isn't it interesting that I could achieve this from actually many different routes or many different ways it doesn't need to be a fixed vision to have that feeling. So if you take the pill or you set the intention on that fixed feeling, what is it going to look like for you to achieve that? Like, are you open to that or something better? And also, I'd love for you just to touch on like the power of swallowing that intention as well, because you spoke to me about that at the retreat, that act of taking something and putting that intention into it and swallowing it means that you can't take it back, that you're committed to that kind of feeling. And that's

super powerful. And you can do that with anything. Like I said, you can do it with a tic-tac or you can do it with even just like some water or like a shot of water, just being like, right. And it's that kind of act of setting the intention and then being committed to it and then seeing that out throughout your day to try and like find let's say the act might be surrendering control or the act might be okay I want to feel positive today and going through that process really makes you look for those positive things that happen during that day or those points in which actually, yeah, I made the intention at the beginning of the day that I'm going to surrender to what's happening around, to the universe, depending on which way

you want to kind of look at it. I love it. Yeah, because I mean, we don't know the power of placebo. Like, is it that you take this pill and your subconscious doesn't know the difference between this and a magical fix? So in your subconscious, the fix has been done and the subconscious just guides your conscious to make it happen. We just don't know. There's a lot of people that talk about having triggers. So for Brandon Burchard, walking through doors, he has triggers. So he says certain mantras to himself and it becomes habit. Or there's speakers who take a pill before they go on stage and taking that pill puts them into their speaking persona. And so like what are your triggers and how can you be able to instill that intention or mantra or persona whenever you need it as a trigger?

I just find it so interesting. Yeah, positive triggers rather than negative because lots of us have those negative triggers. You know when you're like tolerance to something is really low. Yeah yeah like how can we spin that and how can we find those positive ones I definitely feel like we should do another podcast on quantum physics because I feel like we're starting to delve into that with the whole placebo side of things yeah I think that would be an amazing episode well this has been so much fun like having an actual in person we're gonna make a habit of doing a lot more of these which which is super fun. And we actually travel to see each other between every four and eight weeks anyway, which might sound like a lot, but when you're running a business, I can tell you four weeks is essentially

four days. Things go so fast. But this has been amazing. And I would love to know if you've listened to this podcast, what little things have you taken away from it? Is it journal prompts? Is it some triggers is it a little bit of advice you want to share with your community I would love if you can just screenshot you listening to this podcast right now and then go on your Instagram story or if your feed if you're feeling adventurous you're going to throw that into the aesthetic but upload it to your story tag me Danielle and Boss Babe and just let us know what your big takeaways are and then we can share that with our audience too

because I think that would be so powerful. Totally, that would be amazing. And we love to see what everyone's taking away so that we can build more upon this and have these conversations that matter. That's what matters to Nat and I. If you enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you subscribed

and left us a review. Let us know what you enjoyed what your main takeaways were and who you'd like to see appear on the show as a special thanks we'll send you a copy of our boss babe 25 now this is an awesome resource it's the 25 essential things that you need for personal and professional growth we've included everything from must-have products to books to rituals. This guide literally covers it all and I know you're going to love it. So if you want your copy, simply leave us a review and then send a screenshot of your review to podcast at bossbabe.com.