the bossbabe podcast - 141. What's Missing From Your Goal Setting with Sandra Chuma

Episode Date: December 29, 2020

Join BossBabe Co-Founder & President Danielle Canty and special guest Sandra Chuma uncover what's missing from the majority of goal setting practices. Learn why your behavior and habits have such an impact on goals and how to identify and set true goals that really push you forward. If you’re interested in getting backdoor access to The Société, click here.  Follow:  BossBabe: @bossbabe.inc Danielle: @daniellecanty Sandra: @sandra.chuma

For your brain to start to build those neural pathways to associate the behavior with the, oh, this is what made me feel good. You got to do it in the moment because now the brain associates directly between the behavior and whatever response, the celebration. Welcome to the Boss Babe podcast, a place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of building successful businesses, achieving peak performance and learning how to balance it all. I'm Dania Kanti, co-founder and president of Boss Babe and your host for this episode. Now I am really, really excited about this episode because we are actually deep diving into goal setting once more but actually with a bit of a different slant. So in this episode we're actually covering not only why it's important to have an emotional connection with your goals but also how you can implement and create habits and behaviors that

will positively impact your goal. And if you guys are following me or Boss Babe for that matter on social media, you will know that we take setting our goals really, really seriously. I'm personally super intentional about the process and I know Natalie is too. That's why over the last few episodes, we have been sharing lots of our tips and tricks that we've learned along the way and really are methods that help us achieve goals. So if you haven't already, and if you're coming at this fresh and really wanted to get into your goal setting, go and listen to episodes 137, where I shared my five-hour process for goal setting, and follow up with episode 140, where I also shared not just the goals that I want to achieve, but the things that I was letting go of to make more room for happiness, success, and abundance in my life. Because I think with goal setting, those are things that you want

to bring in, but there also should be some intention about what you're leaving behind to create room for the new stuff. So back to this episode I'm actually recording this right now in Turks and Caicos so I did the episode with Sandra just before I left the US but I'm on vacation now and I wanted to do a real-time introduction to this episode so I'm currently sat in my room having done my own personal reflection this morning so if you watch me stories, I was out there for 60 minutes right on the sand, right on the beach, really just kind of going over my own intentions and my own personal goals for this year and or for 2021. And I was reminded that only 8% of people who actually set goals achieve them, which can be super demoralizing. But if you realize that you

can 100% very easily be in that 8% who actually go ahead and achieve those goals, and you're already a step ahead because you're actually intentionally listening to something, you're learning how best to do it. And once you've listened to this episode with the most amazing woman, Sandra Chuma, you are going to be ahead of the game, really understanding how you're going to build habits that are going to help you achieve them. I just want to take a couple of minutes to introduce you to Sandra because she is literally such an amazing boss babe. She's actually a certified habits coach and founder of Worthy Brand Co. And she is on a personal mission to help more people create habits that actually help them achieve their goals. So not just setting them, but actually

understanding the habits and behaviors and what form those things so that they can not just achieve them, but they can literally smash their goals. So you know she's a total boss baby, you're going to want to listen to this. And some of you might already be familiar with Sandra because she was actually one of our guest experts within the society a couple of months ago and she broke this down even into more detail. So if you do listen to this episode, you're like, oh my goodness, I want to know even more, then swipe up. There's a little link in the description on how to become a member of the society because you're literally going to love it. So without further ado, I want to dive into this. Make sure if you are not driving and you are sat at home, grab a notepad and pen because

again, you're going to want to take some notes. And as always, screenshot and share your biggest takeaways with me on Instagram stories, tagging myself at daniellecanti and tag at bossbabe.inc. So enjoy the episode and I will see you all in the new year. Hey, it's Danielle and I'm so excited to say that this episode is brought to you by our membership community, The Society. Now, The Society is one of my favorite places and it's the place for female entrepreneurs to connect, build and grow. And inside the society, we provide you all the content and support that you need to build your businesses. So whether you're taking it from the startup to six figures or even beyond every single month, you will receive a new success kit from an expert in their field to help you along

the way. You'll also have access to every single previous success kit that we've ever created in the time we've been having the society, including how to go your email list, how to get started with Facebook ads and pixels, or even how to reprogram your subconscious mind for success. And on top of all of that, you can definitely consider your fellow society babes as your accountability partners and business BFFs. We are here to inspire, support and celebrate you every single step of the way and you'll also get two live group coaching calls every single month which are normally with yourself truly and you'll always feel supported and get those questions answered. In fact on our goal setting one I actually start

every single one with a meditation and everyone finds it super powerful. We actually have a wait list right now, but we have a secret backdoor entry for all of our podcast listeners because we love you guys so much. So all you need to do is visit bossbabe.com forward slash connect, build, grow. If the society sounds like a really good fit for you right now, I hope to see you in there. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise, keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself, confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. Welcome to the Boss Babe Podcast, Sandra. It is such an honor to have you on the Boss Babe Podcast. I've been so excited to have you here because recently we also had you as our guest expert

in the society and you literally blew our members away. So I'm really excited to bring a little bit more of your insights to the listeners as well today. It was such a joy. Oh my gosh, your members are really, it was so inspiring to me just how receptive they were, but also just how driven they are in terms of they have such big goals, such big dreams. It was truly inspiring to be there and to witness some of it. Aren't they? I know. It's literally like my favorite community. And I never forget why Natsy and I joined it because we were so lonely as entrepreneurs and I just feel so honored and blessed to have that community and like me and Natalie go in there all the time as

well and like interact with the comments that are in there and it just really means a lot so thank you for recognizing that in them because I know that when you know we show up to calls and we ask the questions that we do you giving your information and sharing your knowledge is just so so powerful so thank you for that and I'm so excited to really pick your brain on the Boss Babe podcast today because I really love doing interviews that are super informative but they're also actionable and I know that's what our listeners are going to get from you today and I'm really excited to explore that a little bit more so I want to start the conversation off by talking about the fact,

and this is a statistic that you actually taught me, that only 8% of everyone who creates a goal or sets New Year's resolution actually goes on to achieve this. Because I actually found this was absolutely mind-blowing statistic and I was so surprised that it was so low. And I'm like, right, how can we ensure more boss babes hit their goals and go on to create success? So firstly, I just want to say I'm really excited to pick your brain on this. And my first question that I would like to start this podcast episode is, firstly, like, in your opinion, why do you believe that so many people fail to achieve their goals? I think the biggest thing that I've experienced, and part of it is me speaking from my own experience. And, you know, the years where

every year I'd start a new journal, because somehow a new journal signals that this was the year that I was going to achieve my goals, and I'd write down my goals. And then it was like, Oh, no, you just have to really believe in your goals. I'm like, Okay, I really believe in my goals. And then I'd get to the end of the year. And I still haven't achieved it. And so literally there's like in years past, there's some of my journals where I literally could just do a copy paste from the previous year because I hadn't achieved my goals. And it really took me consciously going out and seeking information on what was it that set apart the people who every year achieved their goals. And if I had to boil it down to that one sentence, it would be

everybody has great intentions, but people aren't intentional about achieving their goals. So you kind of write down the goal and then somehow magically you think it's just going to happen by itself. But it's about every action that you take. Are you actually setting aside time in your calendar every day to do something that moves you towards your goal? And is what you're doing actually effective towards moving you towards your goal? So I'd say that's what sets the people who achieve and the people who don't, is they're intentional about going after their goals. I love that. I think that's like such an awesome quote as well. Just like really bear in mind because everyone does have good intentions. Like, yeah, I want to do this. But then it's so easy to

be like, okay, I'm going to use this time here. We'll use this time here or even just not plan that. And then it kind of goes into this, like driving in a certain direction. you can be end up driving in circles if you're not intentional about where you're putting that energy and where you're moving on that track so I really really love that so share with us then like how should people start to become intentional like what does that even look like you know we're talking about this but what does that actually mean so I'm gonna say something that I think everybody will have heard you need to to set smart goals. And I know everybody's going to roll their eyes and be like, oh yeah, whatever. But that's where it actually starts. It starts with really being clear on what is it that you want. So I hear people say like when I'm coaching or when I'm speaking, people will say things like,

I want to be healthier. Okay, great. But how do you actually take action on I want to be healthier? What does that mean? Because if you say to me, I want to be healthier, it might mean something completely different than what it means for me saying, I want to be healthier. So I think that's the first step is we lack clarity on what exactly is it that we want. Name it, name it and name it in a way that you can actually take action on it. So having kind of vague aspirations of I want to make more money. How do you know when you've got there? So I think that's the first start is really being clear about what is it you want.

And the other piece connected with that, Danielle, is there are a lot of people, myself included, who did this where you're going through life living should goals. I should do this because my parents say, or I guess I have to do this because. But it's not really your dream or your thing that resonates with you. And I know that a few weeks ago, you interviewed Jim Quick, who I actually think is phenomenal. And in his book, Limitless, he talks about the fact that you need to be able to connect your goal from your head to your heart, to your hands. So it needs to have the logical side of it, the what is it that I just talked about being clear about the actual steps of, okay, what is it I need just talked about, being clear about the actual steps of, okay, what is it I need to do? And not necessarily have the whole thing mapped out, but what's the next right step? Hypothetically, how long is it going to take me? And what are the things that I might need to do? So connecting it from your head and then connecting it from

your heart. Is it something that you actually even really want? Because if that emotional connection is missing, it's going to be very hard for you to do the work that's required. And the work inevitably gets hard. And then actually taking action. Because again, people have great intentions, but are you actually taking action? And something else related to the head, heart, hands is that it's really about, this blew my mind when a coach told me this. He said, your goals are never really about the thing. You think it's about, I want to build a seven-figure business, or I want to have the car, or I want to have the house, or whatever the thing is.

It's not about that. It's about what you think achieving the thing will make you feel. So it's about feeling. And so it's really, if you're not connected with the feeling, it's going to be hard for you to achieve. So that's the really first step is connecting with the why. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know, I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place, so it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things

so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet, now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial. Go to kajabi.com slash Boss Babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash Boss Babe.

I'm really glad we're speaking about this. And you actually just touched on something that I've really learned has been true to a lot of my past so when I was back in the UK and I was growing up I had goals based on other people's opinions of where I should be at a certain amount of time and so my growth edge you know through my own personal journey and I always open up on here is just like you know expecting myself to you know go to university because everyone needs university then get a job then I actually then wanted to start my own business and okay well now I'm at this age I should be married at this age or now I'm at this age should I have kids at this age all these like stereotypical things and I think this really plays out with lots of people's goals

like they set goals because they feel that they should be at a certain place in their life because of an age. And I'm really in this point in my life where I'm challenging that going, well, actually, is that a goal that I want? Or is that because I've allowed society to dictate to me that that should be the goal I'm setting at this point in my life. And I think just like coming back to and you know that connection that Jim says and you're talking about now is like head heart hands and really just understanding well what are the goals that are coming from the head and actually what are the goals that are coming from the heart because ultimately if you're not following the heart and for me like any goal is a challenge like if you're setting a goal it's like you say

you're setting intention of something you want to change something what you want to achieve that you might not have necessarily been able to do previously and so to get to that point you are going to have to change behaviors to get you to that next goal and so if you can't connect enough like say with that goal to make those changes in behaviors and I'm sure we're going to talk about this later down the podcast like that's when you're really starting to trip up and so for me it's been like understanding oh like actually that isn't a goal that I was setting for my heart. That was a goal I was setting for my head, because I thought I should set that goal. And when I started realizing that, that's when I started moving a lot quicker, because my goals were starting to be more aligned

with me. You're so right. Like I said, you know, so many of us are living should goals. And y'all can bleep this out. But I'm going to say that should goals are shit goals because you're not ever living life for you. And inevitably as well, like you're saying, when you're pursuing any goal, if it's a true goal, I think a true goal is something that pushes you. If it's something that you can do tomorrow, that you have all the resources to do, and you can do it without too much of a stretch, it's not really a true goal because you can do it. I think true goals are ones that push you. They push you outside of your comfort zone. They make you reach for more, for the more that you didn't even know you had. And along the way, it will be hard. Just look at what's happened in our lives in 2020,

is this year was hard. And so if you're someone who was never really that connected or that committed to your goal, it's going to be easy for you to blow it off the minute a little bit of hardship comes your way. So really having that emotional connection to your goal is critical to success. How have you found a lot of your emotional connection to goals and your growth? It's been a learning for me, Danielle, because like you, I was someone who, and given my background, so I'm from Zimbabwe and I literally grew up in a mud hut with no running water, no electricity. And so my aspiration and kind of the dream growing up was just to be able to go to school, to be able to go to a good school. And then,

you know, my grandmothers had this dream for me that, oh my gosh, one day you'll go to university and one day you'll live in a house in the suburbs on a tree-lined street. Because like one of my grandmothers was a housemaid and she worked for a family in a suburb that lived in a big house on a tree-lined street. And it was something that for her was so far removed from her reality. But that was then the dream that was fed to me, which no disrespect to my grandmothers, they were both amazing women, but that became what I was chasing. And actually how I got to figure this out was I achieved success. So I did get to go to overseas, as my grandmother said. I did get to have the house and the cars and the vacations.

I did get to build a seven-figure business. And with all of that, I got to all of that, that I thought, oh, when I get here, then that's success. It felt so empty. But it also made me feel so guilty because I literally still have cousins who live in mud huts with no rainwater and no electricity. So how dare you be ungrateful? You're living this life that other people would give their arm for. But it took me being in a way broken. So in the last go around, when there was an economic crisis, this business that I had built into a seven-figure business, all of a sudden, all of our clients dried up, all of our contracts dried up. And so here I was with this company that one day was worth seven, almost eight figures, and then it was worth almost nothing. And I remember being on my bathroom floor and crying because to me, my life had ended.

This dream life that I'd managed to build was being taken away from me. But it was in the depths of, I guess, that darkness that I was able to finally understand that what I'd been chasing had felt so empty for me because it wasn't the thing. It wasn't my purpose. It wasn't the thing that was connected to me emotionally. And so it then led me to starting to question, well, what is what I want to do? What are the things? And that's where it opened me up to find the work that I now do and that I am so passionate about. That's such an amazing story. And I just want to ask you, if you don't mind, like, you know, a lot of people listening, they come from all over the world. And so lots of people relate to this part of your story. And then there will those of us who don't you know those who had a different upbringing more of

a western society but I just want to ask you like going from living in a mud hut to building a seven-figure business I would have thought when you were at that you know when you were first living in Zimbabwe I mean you're a young woman growing up a young girl growing up would you have even known what a million like pounds dollars like was even like I'm interested in like that upper limit that you even had to crush through like you know there's one thing like aiming for that first house and there's another thing to be going on to be like you know a million dollar business owner. Like, wow, what did you push through to get to that point? You know, here's the thing is you're so right that growing a million dollars is like, it seemed this impossible thing. Like I couldn't even have imagined a million dollars, but I think this is, you know, what I would say to all of the boss babes out there who are building their businesses is it happens one step at a time, especially nowadays, like, you know,

being an entrepreneur has been glamorized and it's like, oh, you know, everybody wants to be an entrepreneur, but it is what we said about why are you doing what you're doing and what is it that you're connecting with? And so for me, it really was that push of, if I can build this business and I can make it successful, it was about the impact that I knew I could have back home to the people that I left behind, the people, as I said, my cousins. So for me, that was the push. I had a bigger why than just myself. It wasn't just about, I want to buy more Milano Blahniks or Gucci or whatever. It really was about, oh, wow, if I can make more money, then I can help more people.

But then that also has a flip side in that the responsibility. And that was part of what was so heavy for me as well. When in 2008, that business started to go downhill was oh my gosh I have this responsibility and what am I going to do but what I would say to anybody who's dreaming is dream big dream really big because what's the worst that can happen dream big I love that I would say if you if you don't quit you can't fail fail. And also go forwards. Yeah, I really do believe in that. I mean, I think if you have big visions and big missions, and it's all about failing forwards and picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and carrying on again. So I want to come down to like, you know, we started opening this podcast by talking

about the statistics that a lot of people don't achieve their goals right and we've kind of touched on a couple of the reasons why around clarity and those pieces and I want to talk to you about behaviors and habits because I know this is something you've actually studied an awful lot so how do you feel that behaviors and habits impact goals this is if I can say one superpower that you want to embrace, research, adopt, it is your habits. I think it's Wendy Wood, who's a researcher at USC. She says, she estimates based on her research that about 43% of everything you do in a day is habit-based. So if you calculate out that almost half of everything you're doing in a day, you're not even really consciously thinking about. And you're like, wow, if you could use that

to support you on your journey towards your goals, if you could figure out a way to create the habits that support your goals, that would be like magic. And so that was kind of my going in position was, wow, I'd been told the saying that everything you have, everything you don't have in your life is because of your habits. And I think it's Aristotle as well, who says that, you know, we are what we repeatedly do. And so I understood based on that, that there was power in habits. And it wasn't until I read all the books I read, you know, like all the, I'm not going to name names, but there's some really great books out there talking about habits. And they all talked about the same thing that habits are created by repetition.

Now, here's my question to anybody who has subscribed to that is there are lots of things that you do over and over again, but it doesn't necessarily make them habits. And something else that I learned is just because you do something over and over again doesn't mean you're going to be able to stick with it. So like a great example is I hate asparagus. I hate asparagus with a passion. And all the things that I'd read said, if you just do this habit for 21 days or 60 days or 120 days, then it'll become a habit. I don't care how many days you make me eat asparagus. That's never going to become something that's natural to me or a habit. And then I also then in my reading and everything that I was reading, thought about the fact that for most of us, the very first time we ever logged

on to say Instagram or Facebook, it immediately became a habit because for most people, they wake up, first thing they do is reach for their phone and check what's happening on Instagram, Facebook, or whatever other social apps. So that didn't require 21 days, 60 days, 90 days, whatever the numbers are. So, but it wasn't until I read a particular book, which is called Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg, that it all kind of clicked for me. Because in his book, B.J. Fogg's actually, he's a research scientist at Stanford. And he's been studying behavior and behavior design for 25 years. He actually heads up the Behavior Design Institute at Stanford. And he said, before you can think about creating a habit, because a habit is really a subset

of behavior, a habit is really just something that, a behavior that you do automatically. You have to understand what is behavior. A habit is really just something that a behavior that you do automatically. You have to understand what is behavior. And then that will be your secret to how you can create the behaviors that you want. So that was my going in position. I read the book and then I reached out to him, ended up having conversations with him and then ended up being getting enrolled in his certification program and studying behavior design or habits, really, and understanding what behavior is. That is fascinating. And I would love for you to share a little bit more about, because I actually think, you know, it's very, setting goals is very superficial. It's something that we all understand. Like, oh, yeah, we set these goals. If you set a goal, you're 30% more likely to achieve it than if you don't set it at all even though we know only 8% of goals are actually achieved but like I feel like the background to actually how to achieve goals is

really missing in those teachings and I even feel like the conversation around what is behavior like what does that actually boil down to and how do you ensure that your behaviors like you say how do you want to like you know if we're setting financial goals or something like that or if we're setting health goals how do we make sure that our behaviors like what is the behavior and how do we make sure it aligns with our goal that is such a great question danielle because you can't fix or you can't change what you don't know if you don't know what a behavior is made up of you can't fix or you can't change what you don't know. If you don't know what a behavior is made up of, you can't change it. And this is the part where I'm like, we all go to school and we get taught, you know, how to read, how to write, how to, you know, arithmetic.

And yet no one actually teaches us in life skills, these things that would actually be incredible skills to A, help us with learning, but also B, that we can take forward into life. So I'm completely quoting BJ Fogg here, and you can Google his model. He has a behavior model called the Fogg model. So F-O-G-G, you could Google that. And what he said is behavior is made up of three components. It's made up of motivation, it's made up of ability, and it's made up of a prompt. So motivation is how much do you want to do this thing? Are you highly motivated, not motivated? So we all know, new year, new me, all of that, how everybody's so motivated to go to the gym, right? We all write our New Year's resolutions,

or so motivated to actually start working on building right? We all write our New Year's resolutions. We're so motivated to actually start working on building their business this year. And we're super motivated. That's January 1st, maybe even January 15th, maybe even February 20th. But come March, everybody's kind of like given up. And that's because motivation is fickle. Motivation is up or down. It depends on did I wake up well? Did I sleep well? How did I wake up this morning? How am I feeling? What else is going on in my life?

So that's why for a lot of us, we can't count on motivation to consistently help us with our behaviors. You can count on it for like one-off things. You can be motivated for one day to go to the gym, but you can't count on it on day 97 to get you to the gym. So motivation is how much or how little do you want to do something or how inspired are you to do something? The A is about ability. So how hard or how easy is it for you to do something? And then the P is a prompt. So one of the things that BJ talks about is that there is no behavior that happens without some sort of a prompt, a trigger, a cue, which I was like,

really? And I was trying to think of behaviors and I haven't been able to. So if anybody listening can think of a behavior that happens, I would love to be able to go stump BJ and challenge him. But he says that is behavior. That's the behavior model. And so what he says is because you can't really reliably count on motivation to get you to do a behavior, the two other, I guess, if you're a scientist in a lab, the two other levers, the two other buttons that you can really play on are the ability and the prompt. So with ability, it's how can you make it easier for yourself to do the thing? So asking yourself, why is it hard for me to do this thing? Why is it hard if I'm trying to build my business to do the social media posts or to make the sales calls? So figuring out why is this hard? And then the second question you can ask yourself is how could I make it easier for myself? So that would be

for ability. Why is it hard? And then how can I make it easier? I love that. And I think that's a really like key point in business as well, when you're not achieving things of being like, you know, we set these goals or these targets, or like you say, whether it's posting on social or posting or doing sales calls or getting something done. It's like, well, yeah, like how can you make it easy for yourself? How can you bring people in? Like who, what support do you need versus just kind of like beating yourself up for not necessarily having achieved something and really reflecting on that. So I love that. I'm excited to hear about prompt. Yeah. And actually, if we just back up for a second and talk about ability, you brought up a great point about bringing in help. I think some of what, especially for

entrepreneurs, as you're building your business, it's really important for you to be laser focused on, do I need to do this? So what can I eliminate? Maybe you're doing a task that really doesn't need doing, or what can I delegate? Are there other people that you can get to help you or, you know, to kind of step up? Or what could you automate? What are the things that don't necessarily need your manual intervention? And then also, realistically, what can you just literally procrastinate on that? And I know this sounds terrible, and this is great advice from another friend of mine, Rory Vaden, who has a book by that title, where it's like, sometimes, maybe it is right to procrastinate. So it's really like, what can you eliminate? What can you automate? You know, what can you delegate? And then maybe

right now isn't the time to do the thing. And then you talk about P in behavior. So motivation, ability, and then a prompt. This is your cue to do the behavior. And this is literally the most important part. Cause like I said, you know, the research says, unless you're prompted to do something, you're not going to do it. And so there's some things that are natural prompts in our lives. Like for example, when, you know, your body's very good at prompts, when you need to pee, that's a prompt that says time to go to the bathroom. Or in life, we have reminders, right? For me, for this podcast, I had a reminder set on my phone that said, oh, prompt, it's time for you to go and talk to Danielle. And so, or it might be a sticky,

or you might have someone who reminds you that you designate to be the person who reminds you. But something that's really, really important is also to remember that sometimes we have prompt fatigue. Now, I am a girl who loves a sticky note. I love my stickies, but I'm sure you've had this happen as well, where you have like 20 stickies all over your computer and then you end up actually ignoring them because now it's just noise or you have the reminders constantly pinging and then you just end up ignoring them. So that's one of the things that in your behaviors prompts is being very careful about what prompts are you choosing and how are they actually helpful to get you to do the thing. So that's overall behavior. But if we were to go to habits and specifically talk about habits and how you create a habit. So, you know, again, the definition of a habit is something that you do automatically or that's almost become subconscious. You don't actually have to think about doing the thing. An example is when you put your shoes on,

you probably don't mentally think, okay, put foot in shoe, okay, tie lace left over right or whatever. You just do it because you've done it so many times. It's now a habit. Or if you drive somewhere regularly, there are I'm sure times where you have driven from point A to point B and you're like, it because you've done it so many times it's now habit or if you drive somewhere regularly there I'm sure times where you have driven from point a to point b and you're like how the heck did I get here again that's habit and there's a little bit of a different you know there is a formula according to what I've been learning about how you create a habit so shall I go shall we talk about how you create a habit. So shall I go? Shall we talk about how you create a habit? Yes, I'm 100% ready to hear this. And I just think about other habits that you have in your life. And just example, I'll share this in a minute, but that habit of training I really got out of

and how I've been able to incorporate a habit of training as if it's like brushing my teeth. So I'm really excited to understand the science behind this. So this is what according to research at Stanford says creates a habit. It is emotion. It makes you feel good in some way. Because the science says how a habit gets wired in is you do something, there's a positive response, and then dopamine gets released in your brain, which along with endorphins are the, yay, I feel good kind of thing. And that, then your brain is like, oh, she liked that, or he liked that. Let's do that again. So that's the beginning of how a habit gets wired in, is through emotion. Emotions create habit. And so if you think about some of the habits that you have, I bet you they're tied to some emotion. The good and the, I'll put it in

air quotes, the bad. Because what I've learned is that your brain doesn't differentiate between good and bad. All it knows is that some point in history, in the past, this thing that you did either made you feel good or it gave you relief. It made you feel better. It made you feel you were not feeling great or you're feeling sad. And then you did something that made you feel better. So that's really, if I had to say, the key to a habit is emotion. In terms of practically how you wire in a habit, it is as simple as A, B, C. So if you want to remember it, it's A, B, C. And every time I say that, I think of the Jackson 5 and it's like A, B, C. Easy as one. You have ingrained that in everybody's memory right now.

And people are singing, by the way. I won't sing. I have a terrible voice. And so what is ABC when it comes to creating a habit? The A is an anchor moment. So what you want to look for is something you already do that's part of your regular routine that reminds you to do the thing. So you talked about brushing your teeth, for example. So that one is a habit. So let's just say you wanted to, I know a lot of people, this is actually, I use this for myself. Flossing was not my favorite thing to do. And then I had to have orthodontics and my doctor had a come to Jesus moment with me and said, look, girl, you're doing this and you're spending a lot of money and time and a lot of pain.

So you need to up the brushing and you need to up the flossing. And so for me, it then became the habit because I already was fairly good at the brushing was adding the flossing. And so for me, it then became the habit, because I already was fairly good at the brushing, was adding the flossing. And so for me that, oh, I'm going to brush my teeth was my anchor. And then, oh, and add the floss. So it might be for you, I don't know, while you're waiting for the kettle to boil, you might wipe down a counter. I journal. Yeah, I wanted to bring more journaling into my life. So I was always having my coffees in the morning. And whilst I was waiting for my kettle to boil and my coffee to brew, I would literally be like, okay, well, in this time, I'm just going to dedicate it to journaling because there was that void for it already. And I already had the anchor. So I just added this in.

So you see, you were doing it without even knowing already had the anchor. So I just added this in. So you see, you were doing it without even knowing you were doing it. So it's finding something that is the trigger. So remember we said that behavior is all about motivation, ability, and a prompt. So your anchor, your A, acts as that prompt to remind you to, oh, hey, it's time for you to do this thing. It might be if you want to, I don't, it's time for you to do this thing. It might be if you want to, I don't know, if every day you want to exercise or something like that, it'll be something that's already a part of your day that you use to remind you to do the next step. And then the B

is you do the behavior itself. So whatever it is, if it's in your case, your journal, you do your journal. If it, in my case, the example I gave floss my teeth, I floss my teeth. This is the part, this is the magic ingredient is the C. And this is another song. I'm not going to sing that, but it's cool in the gang celebrate celebration, right? That's what, remember I said that the habits get wired in because dopamine gets released, which tells your brain, oh, this is good. And so you need to figure out what's a celebration that you can add at the end of the behavior immediately after you've done the behavior. Then that starts to tell your brain, oh, when she did that thing last time, she got a hit of

dopamine, made her happy. Let's do that again. Let's do it. So that's how you start to wire in a habit is you have an anchor moment, which is your prompt to remind you to do the behavior. You do the thing, the behavior, the journal, the floss your teeth, the go to the gym, and then immediately you celebrate yourself. And you can pick whatever celebration, whatever feels right. This is actually an interesting one that research

says, actually, a lot of people have trouble with the C, with celebrating themselves, is that most people are like, this is dumb. This is stupid. And I'm going to put my hand up and say I was of that variety of the when when I first learned it I was like this is so stupid but it works and I'd say just try it for five days do it for five days try it at the end of whatever thing and it can be whatever you can whatever your celebration is fist pump you can whatever do a little dance you don't even have to physically do anything in your mind you can just be like oh good job who's a bad so-and-so I'm just thinking of like because I love like giving suggestions to people one thing I really think who's like depending on what your motivation

is I've seen people you know I mean one thing that used to be done really commonly was when people were trying to quit smoking they would save the money right so I'm also thinking of like these behaviors like celebrating could be a way like you move like a few dollars or to an account every time you do it and that's like your handbag fund or your like holiday vacation fund or something like that and then there's like that dopamine hit because I really agree with how powerful dopamine hits are I think they're really actually underestimated and so like when you have that attachment to something it's like oh yeah now I've done this I get to do this action so move this money and now I'm one step closer to that vacation or buying that you know thing that's going to make

me so happy or buying that experience doesn't necessarily have to be materialistic so I'm really seeing how this can play in and I think this also comes into like not just personal behaviors like but things in business as well where you want to be changing so like let's say you want to be in the habit of going into those data bits more and you know what you anchor that to so if you anchor it to a meeting that's already happening and making sure you're executing and then celebrating like you know how you're doing off those points and how you're reviewing them after and what that goal is that it's moving you closer towards so I'm totally seeing like how many listeners are going to be like oh wow I can actually create some really kick-ass habits after listening to this podcast you can and here's one thing that

was emphasized to me over and over again is for your brain to start to build those neural pathways to associate the behavior with the oh oh, this is what made me feel good. You got to do it in the moment. In fact, the research says to make it even, like to supercharge it, you want to do it almost three times. You want to do it when you remember. So in that anchor moment that, oh, I just remembered that I need to do my journaling, like Danielle's doing her journaling. That's a, oh, yay, good for you. You remembered that. While you're doing the thing, while you're journaling, like, yes, I'm doing my journaling. And then immediately after, because now the brain associates directly between the behavior and the quote unquote, whatever response, the celebration, because if you leave it too long, so I used to be

of the, Oh, I'm going to work out. And then at the end of the month, I'll go get myself a massage. What the research says out of Stanford is that then your brain isn't necessarily making that direct relationship. So you can absolutely still have that incentive for yourself to say, you know, I'll work out and then I'll buy myself this. But you need to immediately do something, some way of acknowledging yourself. And a great example that they use in terms of, if you think about, for example, babies, right? When they're little and they're just learning to walk, think about that response that we

give them. So the baby kind of sort of pulls himself or herself up on the table, stands, let's go. In that moment, we're like, oh, yay, look at you, you're standing. We're not like 30 minutes later, like, oh, yay, look at you. So the baby recognizing, oh, I did something really good. I'm going to do that again. Same thing when you're training a pet, right? In the moment you give your dog, when you're trying to teach them stay, sit, heal, you give them a treat in that moment. And so it starts to

associate the fact that, oh, when I do this specific behavior, then that's when the reward comes. So the same with you, you want to, in the moment, do something, you can do something extra after, but in the moment, you want to be celebrating. I love that. So, so key. So I feel like after listening to this podcast, so many people are gonna be like okay I want to set my goal now and now I know how to understand I need to get motivation I need to have the ability and I need to have that prompt and then I'm also gonna be like right what is my anchor was my hip behavior and what is my celebration so I would really love for anyone who's listened to you know let's have more of

boss babes hitting like being in that eight percent and pushing that eight percent limit of those who actually achieve their goals so I would love for anyone who's listened to really think of a goal that they want to achieve and utilizing the roadmap that Sandra has really shared with us today craft your like your goal and how you're going to change your behavior and your habit to get there and share it with Sandra and I on Instagram because we absolutely love chatting to you guys. So I would love for you to share it with myself at Danielle Canty and tag at bossbabe.inc as well because we always love sharing these. And Sandra, I would love for you to share your handle too. Oh my gosh,

I would love. And also people have questions about this because like I said, I'm certified in this and so I can certainly help. And if I don't have the answer, I literally am on calls twice a week with the guy who's the head of the Research Institute at Stanford. So I'd love to be able to take him challenging questions and get him to answer. So my handle is sandra.chuma. And so that's S-A-N-D-R-A. And my last name is Chuma, C-H-U-M-A. And if I can emphasize as well, one other thing. So celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. And not just in the context of your goals. Like, my goodness, just as people, we've been through the ringer over the last several months. And I think it's easy to go through days where you just see the things you didn't do and the things that you didn't accomplish. And I just want to say that if you can,

at the end of every day, think about three things, three things you did that you're proud of and write them down every single day. It'll change how you go through your day. And the other thing that I want to emphasize as well is start small. I think the reason so many people start down a path of change is they want to make the change and then they get frustrated because, oh my gosh, I'm not seeing change. Part of it might be you've just taken on too much. Make it small. Don't go from I'm not working out at all to I'm going to work out for two hours a day and I'm going to do out for two hours a day and I'm going to

do 100 push-ups. Exactly. How about just like, you know what, I'm going to do five push-ups. One of the things that they teach out of the Research Institute is, especially when you're starting out with a habit, is have it take you less than 30 seconds to do if you can. At least the first part, the anchor moment is, okay, maybe the habit itself, the behavior might take longer, but have that process be as quick as possible because then you're not dreading doing it. It's not because what you want to do is to feel successful. Because think about the behaviors that you do, the things that you repeat. Think about how it feels when somebody tells you you're doing a good job or when you think to yourself, damn, I did a good job. It makes you want to do more.

And so what you'll find is when you set yourself up to be successful by starting small, it naturally lends itself to bigger, more, and you'll find that it starts to impact and to grow other habits around, you know, maybe not necessarily where you started or the habits you were trying to work on, but it'll just that positivity will start to filter through all areas of your life. I love that. That is so true. And just something I really agree with about, like you said, that positivity rippling through so many aspects of your life Natalie and I always said like as part of one of our core values was like the positive ripple effect is just so powerful and you can see that within yourself and then when you start embodying that and seeing the positive ripple effect and changes within yourself you actually

notice that the people around you and then your circumstances so I think like you say the conversation that we just had today is just so at the core of everything and it doesn't have to be complicated it doesn't have to be super hard and when you start simple and you start seeing those changes it really creates a momentum and a positive momentum at that that can really be leveraged and harnessed so I just really appreciate you Sandra and coming on today and just sharing just such a powerful message and also just sharing your wisdom and your knowledge and making this so practical. Like that's always at my heart for this podcast. Like I want people to be able to listen to it and go, oh my goodness, I've learned so many things and I can go away and I can implement this stuff.

So I really just want to thank you for showing up the way you have today, because I know if people have been listening at their desk they're going to have scribbled down a ton of takeaways and if they've been listening in their car they're going to be like oh my goodness I have so many things that I can actually get to my destination so I really appreciate you and thank you so much for being such an amazing guest not only on the Bossway podcast but also in the society as well because you really do over deliver so thank you oh thank you and thank you so much for having me. It was such a pleasure. And the one, if I had to leave the listeners with anything, it is that it's great to have good intentions, be intentional about achieving those. Drop mic. I love it. Thank you,

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