the bossbabe podcast - 150. Build Your Self-Belief With Jamie Kern Lima

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

Join BossBabe Co-Founder & President Danielle Canty and special guest Jamie Kern Lima as they unpack the stories behind the success of IT Cosmetics including building your self belief, trusting your gut and Jamie’s journey from being a girl who doesn’t believe in herself to really learning how to.  BossBabe Launch Formula Training: https://go.bossbabe.com/launch-formula1 Use code “BOSSBABE” for 15% off your Organifi order: https://www.organifishop.com Jamie's Book “Believe It”: https://amzn.to/3rXzIQc Follow:  BossBabe: @bossbabe.inc Danielle: @daniellecanty Jamie: @jamiekernlima

I am so excited to announce that I am hosting another brand new free training on how to have stress-free sold-out launches. I have two dates and times available so I'm going to link you below. Make sure you sign up soon because we have a cap at how many people we can have there. This is for business owners who've already made sales and are really ready to accelerate their business this year. So what I'm going to be doing is teaching Boss Babe's four-part launch framework, the exact framework that we have used to make over eight figures in revenue through launching organically through social media. It's an incredible framework and the best part is it's incredibly simple. So if you're really, really ready to level up this year and

take your business to the next level and you want to see a massive cash injection through launching and you want to know how to do it with less stress and more success, then you're going to love this. And at the very end of the training, I'm going to be extending a really exclusive offer to join me inside of online launch school. So it's going to be a really, really amazing training. So the link is below, go sign up, pick the time zone that works best for you. And I'll see you on there with either champagne or coffee in hand, depending on the time of day. And with that, we'll dive straight into the episode. My story is really one of a girl who goes from not believing in herself to learning how to believe in herself, doubting my own instincts

to learning how to hear my gut and trust it and getting to the point where I know I'm enough. Not just my story, it's a story of so many people out there right now. Welcome, Jamie, to the Boss Babe podcast. It is such an honor to have you on here again. I am so excited to be here. And this is such a big moment in time for me. And I'm just super grateful to share it with you and the whole community. So thank you. I know we have lots of things to discuss. It's actually the second time that you've been on our Boss Babe podcast. Because I remember last time it was me, you and Natalie. And we were in person.

It was pre-COVID. And we were really chatting about the business side of IT Cosmetics. And really like asking you questions. I remember because you were like, oh, wow, I've never been asked these questions before. And we were like digging down into like all the manufacturing pieces. And how you were creating the blends, cosmetics. And that was just such an amazing interview. And I'm also really excited that this one's going to be really different because we're going to be talking more about you. Yeah. And the personal stuff that I

have never shared before, I think so often, and just for everyone in the Boss Baby community, they've had the same experience. It's like when we build such a career or something we're known for, sometimes it's like that's what we are used to talking about or focusing on. And this is the first time in my book and just even sharing with you in the community, all the personal stuff and the stories behind the stories. And I think that for me, I think with anybody, that's the most fascinating part, right? Because it's easy to go, oh, wow, you know, she built a billion dollar business from her living room, but it's like, oh, but how did she navigate the personal stuff that was happening? And what about this? And was there self-doubt?

And those are the things that I think are so fascinating that when we connect on, we feel less alone, you know? I could not agree more. And I think in like today's like society, we're so used to seeing this highlight reel and so used to having these like hooks and one-liners that kind of make things sound simple and easy and overnight successes.

And, you know, here at Boss Baby, and particularly on this podcast, that's what we're about. It's like sharing the real behind the scenes. Like you said, sharing the stories behind the scenes like you said sharing the stories behind the stories because let's face it life isn't like that it is not a bed of roses is it is not easy like anything worth having does have some blood sweat and tears behind it and I'm just first of all just want to say thank you for not only showing up today and being willing to share your story but also writing your brand new

book Believe It which honestly was when I read it I was just like wow I need to thank Jamie for being so raw and so vulnerable and sharing all the good bits but also the ugly bits the hard bits the things that no one really likes to share. And it takes real courage to share it because, you know, that's what the book is about. And I think more people need to hear those stories behind the stories. So let's just kind of start off with that, right? Like, you know, we're talking about these like one-liners that people utilize when people might have seen headlines written about you before. They're like, oh, wow, like, you know, bedroom to billion dollar company, just like that with a click of the fingers, right? But it wasn't that easy. So what

is your message to these people that see that? Yeah, I think that when we see things like that, and that actually is part of what inspired me to write my first ever book, because I get so many DMs on Instagram from, you know, amazing women and girls and every age and especially entrepreneurs saying like, oh, you were once a Denny's waitress and you created a billion dollar company. Did you just get lucky or do you just have a ton of connections or all those things? They're like, because it's not happening for me the way I want it to and I'm struggling. And I hear all those stories and I realize that when people just see the headline, it's easy to think that they're alone in their setbacks or rejections or lack of traction in what they're doing. And it doesn't even have to be business-based.

It could be personal too. And it just – it really made me realize that, you know, because at the end of the day, when they do hear my story or Google it, they think it's a story of bedroom to billionaire, like you suggested. And what I do for the first time ever in this book is I share the real story, which my story is really one of a girl who goes from not believing in herself to learning how to believe in herself and doubting my own instincts to learning how to hear my gut and trust it and going on a journey of doubting I'm enough to getting to the point where I know I'm enough. And I wrote this because I know it's not just my story. It's a story of so many people out there right now who are in that space of, Danielle, I feel that so many of us, I know the Boss Babes

community will connect with this because anybody who is part of the community and listening to your podcast on your sites, in your programs, in your membership, all that, I feel like there's usually a commonality, which is kind of like a knowing deep down inside that you're made for more and you have ideas and goals and dreams and hopes. And I think that really why I wrote this book is really for everyone who knows they're made for more and they're called to do great things and have big dreams and have big goals, but then still doubt it anyway, still doubt themselves anyways. And this is a book about how I went through that, the tips and lessons I learned going through it, all the stories, the things I did wrong, the things I did right.

As you mentioned, there's a lot of both. There's a lot of both. But there are stories that I hope and tips and lessons that I hope save people a whole lot of time and money and nights crying themselves to sleep like the ones I shared in the book. And ultimately, I think that by really sharing how I turn setbacks into some of the greatest, I guess, setups for things that I felt in my gut I was called to do, but sharing how it all really happened with all the rejection and all of

the hard times, I think it helps my hope and prayers. It helps everyone know they're not alone in, you know, even if they feel like they're not where they want to be yet, or they feel stuck, or, you know, they have other people supporting them, but their own self-doubt gets in the way, right? Sometimes that's our biggest obstacle too. Yeah. And I think that's really important to acknowledge like that self-doubt is actually really normal, right? Because I think for so, for a lot of us, we're like, oh my goodness, like I can't doubt myself. Like I, you know, but it's like, actually one thing that's really helped me and even your book is like acknowledging that actually self-doubt is actually a really normal thing, but it's how you overcome that, how you recognize it within yourself and you push through anyway. And I think like you say,

whenever you have a dream and you have this knowing for more, like when you start holding onto that and going, okay, I know I can do this, but all this self-doubt is getting in the way. What were some tools that you really realized got you through that? And I had it in so many forms, right? Because sometimes our own self-doubt that replays in our head over and over. Sometimes it's just our inner critic. Sometimes it gets loud because we have people around us and maybe they're friends or family that love us so much, but they kind of see they don't get our hopes and dreams. And in my case, the first three years of the business, we couldn't afford to pay ourselves and products weren't selling. And I didn't have an ad budget

for marketing and had a lot of friends and family who love me so much. They mean so well, but they can only see things through their own lens, right? Their own lens of experience, their own lens of limitations. So then you start hearing from people all around you like, are you sure this is what you should be doing? Have you gotten any traction yet? Like what if you get a real job and then you do this on the side? Like all those things, right? And one of the tools, and by the way, another form, I call it noise, but it's something that just fuels self-doubt is when we're not seeing proof of our own success anywhere around us, right? For me, I had lack of any proof that my idea was right or that I was on

the right track or, you know, I had this big dream to create a makeup company that does things differently and is inclusive around every type of person and all of these things. And yet for three years when nothing was selling, it's really hard when you know and you believe in your vision and your dream, but then there's no proof around you that it's right. I'm sure so many people in the community right now with Boss Babes that their business and trying to grow their business or start the blog or write the book or any of those things. And when we do those, and in the beginning, we're not getting the kind of traction or reaction that we're hoping to, that really can amplify self-doubt inside of us. And then the other form of it is when people are flat out rejecting us, right? For me, for example, I always kind of put experts in the beauty industry

on a pedestal. Like Danielle, I would walk into Sephora and dream of our products being carried there. And same with the department stores and Ulta Beauty and QVC. And so when they all said no for the first three years, and not only no, they said, no, you're not the right fit. Your products aren't the right fit for us. You're not the right fit for our customers. And essentially when people reject us, at its root is often that message that you're not enough. You're not worthy. We actually don't want to invest in what you're doing, right? So when you hear that over and over and over, it's hard not to put that on a pedestal instead of our own belief in ourself and our mission. So what can happen, and then to kind of get to some

tactical stuff, is all of this noise, right? So noise from rejection and people doubting us, noise from the circle around us, if we love them but they're not dreamers like we are, the noise of our own inner critic, the noise of lack of traction and success, all of that can get so loud that all of a sudden our self-doubt gets so magnified and we literally can't even hear our own truth anymore. We can't even hear our own gut. We can't even hear our own knowing. And one of the things I talk a lot about in Believe It! in the book is that, you know, there are so many people that either don't even know how to hear their own instincts anymore and their own gut, their own intuition. And then when they do hear it, they don't even know if they should trust it. And by

the way, why I'm so passionate about this is I think that so many people end up actually never becoming the person they're born to be because they literally talk themselves out of their own calling, of their own truth, right? I could not agree more with that. And I want to come back to that gut thing because actually that's a journey that I've been going on. And I want to talk about even like the book cover, et cetera. So I want to come back to the gut. But before we go on to that, I just want to go back to the rejection piece as well.

Because I feel like this is something that people really struggle with. And I fully believe that, you know, that whole statement around being an entrepreneur or being successful is really 80% mindset, 20% skill. And reading your book, that was actually a really common theme that I saw coming through because there were so many like punches that you received and you got back up and then there was another blow and you got back up and there was another blow and you got back up and the resilience and I'm not going to give away the whole book but I'm not just talking about you know growing it cosmetics I'm talking about as well your personal life finding out that you were adopted and fight taking those times to find your mom and like how did you realize you know how did you have that belief in yourself that like no

I am the right fit like I was just reading like oh my goodness is she gonna come back from this like how is she gonna deal with this and I'm like but you did I just wouldn't understand like what kept you going through those dark times yeah I think a lot of the things I did wrong, right? I talk about, especially from an entrepreneur, a lot of mistakes I made, a lot of things. One of the things I did right though, and how I kept going in many occasions, was I learned how to get still and hear my own gut. And for some people, they do that through prayer. For some people, they do it through prayer. For some people, they do it

through literally just a practice of getting still and trying to hear what their own knowing, their own eternal knowing is telling them. For other people, they meditate and they get better and better at it. But I think so few people ever take the time because it's discipline. It's like a muscle we build of figuring out how to hear what we know deep down inside, right? And, you know, to use like a super like casual, funny, random example is like we've all dated a sketchy guy. Most of us have, right? And like we know when it's like, oh, did his phone really break? Or we know it didn't break, right? It's like, oh, did he just fall asleep and he didn't disappear for three days? Like we know and we can choose to listen to our knowing or not, but we know, right?

But then sometimes when it comes to our own hopes and dreams, we decide to not trust our knowing and we decide to ask everyone else's advice, which is, by the way, often so helpful. Expert's advice is so helpful. But how I vet expert advice is I then check in with my gut after they shared it with me or after I learned it. And I go, does this feel right for what I'm doing? Does this feel right for me? And how I kept getting back up every time I got knocked down. One of the biggest, biggest tools was really listening to my gut and deciding to trust it even when nothing around me said I should.

And, you know, there were times, oh my goodness. So one time, and by the way, Danielle, sometimes we hear it really clearly and right away and we feel it and we know it. Other times, we're not sure, right? We're not sure what the right decision is. And I believe in those times, it's because the noise of everything else is the volumes up on that, meaning our past mistakes, our own self-doubt, other people not believing, all those things. And we're not able to actually turn down the volume on that if you imagine like a volume dial. And then one of the things I talk about actually in the book is that tool of learning how to turn down the volume on things that aren't serving you and that aren't for you. And literally imagine your own volume dial turning up the volume on your own gut. Also, not to get into neuroplasticity and all that kind of stuff

on this show right now. We keep out on this kind of stuff though. You're good. But you know, we have such deep grooves carved and all these things, and it's very easy to replay in our own mind over and over all the past, the words people said that have hurt us, things that didn't go right, the rejection, the this, the that. And then what happens is the volume gets so loud on those things, we can't even hear our own gut, right? And that's one of the biggest things I talk about in this book is really not just learning how to hear your own gut, but then making that decision to trust it. And I think it's how we know if we should give up on a dream. I think it's how we know if we should go after a dream. It's everyone listening right now, I believe, everyone has this knowing, but everyone listening

right now will know if they really check in with their gut and they really hear it, are they in the right job right now? Are they going after the right thing? Are they on the right path of stepping into all of who they are and all of who they're called to be? Or are they in their comfort zone listening to everyone else and all this noise of self-doubt, which when we stay there, it slowly chips away at our soul. And we talk ourselves out of our own truth and then we never, ever become the person we're born to be. So we all have this knowing, but listen, it's hard to do it and it's a skill that we build over time, right? There's one example that I'm thinking of right now where, and by the way, there are hundreds of stories I have never shared before in this book. And

so I'm so excited about it. But the one that I know I've shared with you, Danielle, and Natalie both is that really was just like so jarring is a couple years into growing at Cosmetics, we were down to no money and we got interest from a potential private equity firm to invest. And they were super excited. They loved our product. And we went through a bunch of rounds of meetings and I really thought, oh my gosh, if they invest, this is going to be huge because I won't go bankrupt. And because we were literally down to no money. And I, if they invest, this is going to be huge because I won't go bankrupt. And because we were literally down to no money. And I thought if they invest in our company, they will help use their leverage to get us into all these retailers that are telling me no after no after no, right? Which

was all of them. And came down, we went through the diligence phase, presented product pipeline and budgets, everything. And it got down to the last meeting. And my husband and I flew in for the meeting and the head investor thanked us that he really believes in our product. And then he was standing about three feet from me and he said, well, we want to thank you, but we want to let you know it's a no. We're going to pass on investing in IT Cosmetics. And I was like, okay, can you share why? You know, because feedback is usually a gift. And he said, do you want me to be really honest with you? And I said, yeah. And he said, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body, with your weight.

And I remember this moment of him saying this to me. And, you know, we talk about self-doubt, right? For me, I remember physically, like my heart was racing. I remember his breath was warm. I remember like it felt like his mouth was moving in slow motion and it was like a lifetime of body doubt and self-doubt like flooded my whole body. But in that moment, Danielle, it was a defining moment for me because two things happened. One, well, I felt like I was staring my own fear straight in the eye like because I, you know, this was a big, deep source of self-doubt for me my whole life.

But I had got this gut feeling in that moment really strongly that he's wrong. And what I did after that rejection, okay, and this is so important because, you know, there's a famous saying, and I think this applies no matter if someone has faith or they believe in God or the universe or anything. There's a famous saying that rejection is God's protection. And I want to circle back on that in a minute because you can replace that with rejections, the universe protection, right? However you want to receive this for everyone listening, but this is a really important tactical thing when you really write that down, really process it, and really actually decide to believe it. Because I have so many full circle moments of rejection where that's actually true, where even though the no is painful and it sucked, I later learned, oh, thank God that was a no.

Like, right? And sometimes we don't see that for years. Sometimes it doesn't come around for years. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know, I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify. And Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So, of course, I needed to share it here with you.

It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business. You know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible i definitely recommend kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering boss babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash boss babe. Okay guys, before we continue, I'd love to give you some info on our sponsor for this week. Okay, so I want to interrupt this episode just quickly to let you know about a brand that I

absolutely adore. So if you've been watching my stories for the past couple of years, you'll know that I've been using this brand for a really long time, Organifi. They are some of the best healthy superfood products that I have ever found and I am not just saying that. So a couple of my favorites include the vanilla and chocolate protein. Not only are they packed with protein and goodness, but they have digestive enzymes to help you really digest the protein properly so you never get bloated or anything afterwards so I love them in my morning smoothie in fact you probably see me share this every single morning on my stories but I love the vanilla protein with some spinach banana um I put some almond butter almond milk blended up it is incredible and it honestly tastes

like birthday cake it's amazing and I have tried it with multiple different types of vanilla protein and it does not taste the same. The Organifi protein just has such a good flavor to it. And then after workouts, I've been doing the chocolate protein and I literally just do the protein with almond milk, nothing fancy, shake it up. And it's not only filling, but it tastes really, really good. I know some proteins can have a weird aftertaste or they can be too sweet or whatever this protein tastes really really good so those are two products that I absolutely love on top of that I love the chocolate gold so it's kind you know the turmeric

drinks like golden milk drinks it's that but with cacao so it tastes like a hot chocolate but it's packed with turmeric and so much goodness it's super low in sugar so no matter what kind of diet you're on it's really really good for you I love having it on a night time and if I'm feeling hungry or I want to ensure I get a really good night's sleep I'll just add some ghee and some honey into that stir it up and it's absolutely amazing so those are a couple of my favorite products from Organifi and if you use the code boss baby you're actually going to get 15% off. So I really recommend stocking up. They have so many different kinds of products. I'll tell you about other ones in other episodes because

I don't want to take up too much time, but I am a big hardcore Organifi fan. And I really, really recommend it for you if you are looking for products that aren't filled with crap and are really, really good for you. So you can use the code Boss Babe and it's Organifi, O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I. So Boss Babe and Organifi. And let's jump back into the episode. And we're back. So let's continue. But anyways, back to the gut thing. In this case, I remember hearing that feeling, feeling that strong feeling he's wrong. And after this happened, obviously it sucked. I went to my car and bawled my eyes out. I was so hurt. But I also realized, you know, and so two things.

We talk a lot about, you know, finding your why and peeling back the layers and going deeper to that why beneath the why. And for me with IT Cosmetics, of course, I wanted to create great products and solve my own skin issues and all of that. But I also wanted to shift culture and beauty and include every type of person and every size and age and shapes, skin tone, skin challenge. Because my whole life growing up, all of the images I ever saw kind of made me feel like I wasn't enough and doubted myself and all those

things. And I wanted to create a company that changed that before other little girls were about to start doubting themselves and for all the grown women who still do. And so by him saying these words to me, two things. One, I actually didn't feel any anger or resentment toward him. I actually realized, wow, he's passing on this investment because he is just as much impacted by the images of beauty I've seen my whole life. And he believes you have to look a certain way to sell products. And I don't believe that. I grew up with examples like Oprah, for example, and you look at how powerful she is and how vulnerable she is. And in this moment when he said that to me, I just had this gut feeling he's wrong. And maybe people are sick of buying from people who don't look like them. And I just had this

knowing. And here's the thing, okay, for everyone listening, when somebody tells you you're not enough, like you don't let that stop you, right? You don't, yeah, you might feel knocked down like I did and I went out in the car and cried and all of that. But when these things happen, like you look your fear straight in the eye and you tune into your gut and you know that you're knowing, your knowing and your calling are greater than any opposition. And what this all comes down to is which one you listen to. And I just remember after all this, what I had to do, and I talk about one of these tools in the book a lot, is I would catch myself, Danielle, replaying his words in my head. And I would literally imagine myself just, boom, cutting them off, turning the volume down, replaying and amplifying that gut feeling,

that knowing he's wrong. And I had to do that. And this is a mindset game, right? I had to do that over and over. Now, listen, it doesn't always happen. Sometimes you get rejection, you get a no, you get feedback, you check in with your gut and you're like, oh yeah, that makes sense. And when that happens, that's a gift too, because now you've learned something, you apply it to your business and you grow. But most of the time when I've been rejected or, and especially any of the times when I got advice of people telling me to change what I was doing or retailers saying, if you change this, then you'll have a shot at getting in our stores. Again, I did so many things wrong, but one of the things I did right was anytime my gut told me one thing and expert advice told me another, I always went with my gut. And I just

think that your gut is stronger than anyone else's advice. And by the way, I'm getting so fired up. I'm thinking, oh my gosh, okay, I already am part of the Boss Babe community because I just adore you and Natalie both. But I'm thinking if I'm sitting there in the community, what do I wish I knew? And all those things. And two things. It's like this investor, you guys, who didn't believe in me, fast forward six years. By the way, Sephora said no for six years. Even after we were the top selling brand in QVC, even after all these proof of success finally, it was still six years of no, right? And before I forget this point, I just want to share this with everyone listening is that one of the things I did right that is so important, you guys, every no, no matter how bad it hurt,

no matter how tough it felt, no matter how much it felt personal, I literally made the decision that it will be a yes. And I made the decision to not get resentful and to stay business about it as if it were a game of chess, right? And so even when Sephora said no for six years in a row or anything else, every no, I would literally be like, okay, well, I'm excited to one day be in your stores. And then what I would do is I would send them every press update, every product launch. We get a big press placement in a magazine or on television. I would send it to them like as if we're going to partner. And it would be no after no. And I made the decision to not get resentful. And listen, I think that's one of the biggest mistakes that we make

because rejection hurts. It feels personal, right? But not taking it personal is so important. And when you fast forward, every one of the no's, even the ones that took six years, we eventually turned into yeses. But just to finish this part on the full circle thing. So when six years later, L'Oreal acquired my company in the largest US acquisition in their history. Because they're a public company, they released that they paid $1.2 billion cash for it. And it was on the Wall Street Journal homepage. It was everywhere the day of the announcement. And when that happened, I got an email from that investor. I got an email and he said, congratulations. I'm so happy for you. I was wrong. And I learned that had he invested, we would have been the most successful investment in his firm's history. But the other

thing is, here's the big thing, Danielle, that when I say rejection is God's protection, or again, rejection is the universe's protection, when we can see rejection that way and trust it, it's huge. Because in this story, and there are so many stories like this in the book, but in this story, had he said yes to me, right? I was so desperate and small and down to no money, small in size, meaning we were barely selling product, and we were a few years in, I would have probably given him the majority of the company for almost no money, right? But because he didn't believe in me and because so many other people said no and rejected us along the way, by the time we ended

up selling to L'Oreal, we were still the largest shareholders. And that is life-changing in so many ways. And it's like, wow, on so many levels, it was protection. It was rejection, but it was protection. And I think that as entrepreneurs and as women, it's hard. Rejection sucks. But you know what? If we shift our mindset around about it and we don't take it personal and we know it comes with the territory, like what would you do if you literally didn't care about rejection, right? And that's what we should do. That is such a powerful thing as well. And I think you let go of a perceived wanted outcome. That's when the magic really starts to happen and I think this I was actually just writing as you were speaking and I think rejection is God's protection rejection is

the universe's protection I've also heard rejection is redirection I think there's a really powerful really really powerful things to know the other thing that I really take away and took away from your book and something that I've been really, really learning on my personal journey as an entrepreneur and just a woman is like, I think we all owe it to ourselves as well to believe in ourselves. For so long, I remember being a young girl, a teenager. And I personally, I don't know if you relate to this, Jamie, I used to put my self-esteem in other people's hands, right? So I used to give that away that I would only feel good if someone told me I did well in exam or I was doing well or I looked a certain way or et cetera. Like I gave away my belief in myself and only really could get it from other people.

And my journey is like, as a growing woman is kind of going through my growth phases, it's really just allowing myself like you said to believe in myself allowing knowing that I can give everything I need to myself and I have responsibility to do that and if I don't believe in myself why should I expect other people to and that for me has been like a really big growth edge and I think is where has got me to where I am and I see that in your story like you talk about gut and you talk about like being not down and getting up again but I see that in you you are backing yourself all the way on this like where and it's everything you've done whether it's how you look or how you went to those meetings

with the Sephora or everything and I think when we start to take that back as individuals, that actually creates a ripple effect in everywhere else in our lives because we say, no, this is what I stand for. This is who I am. This is my gut. This is what I believe. And this is how I believe in myself. Yeah. I think that's so powerful. And I also think that it's important, right? You started this show by talking about just how important it is to know that we all struggle with self-doubt. I think it's important for everyone to also know it's a journey. It is a journey, right? An ongoing journey. An ongoing journey and that we all need to give ourselves grace in this journey. And I think that belief and instinct, I think those

are all muscles that we keep building over time. And so one of the things that, you know, we talk about vulnerability and I just really pray that everything I share in the book is really of service to someone else going through this because it's some vulnerable stuff. But one of the things that, you know, and I've never, ever shared this before is that I talk about all the things I did wrong, all the things I did right, all the ways I nailed it, all the ways I stuck to my gut and believing in myself. But toward the end of the book, I also share how even right now, Danielle, like at this moment, I'm still such a work in progress in so many ways. And one of the most exciting things that I feel like I manifested my whole life since I was a little girl was actually getting this chance to meet Oprah. And then I talk in the book about how that

happened, what happened after, how I went away in Sedona all alone to literally try and write an email, hoping I'd have a one in a billion shot that she'd read it? What happened afterwards? I talk about all this stuff. And I made the decision, by the way, to put the actual email I wrote in the book because I was like, you know what? I'd want to know what did she write to Oprah? Like I'd want to know.

You know what I mean? And I share this whole story. I share the story of getting invited one-on-one to have lunch with her at her house. By the way, let me just say something. She's read the book cover to cover and gave me the blessing of sharing this. Otherwise I never would. So she has blessed this. Otherwise I would never share this. But I also am very vulnerable and candid. And I talk about how when she gave me her cell phone number and said, call me anytime, you can call me anytime. And that was almost three years ago. To this day, if I'm like, oh, I've got to ask her for feedback on this, or I've got to share this with her,

maybe if I text this, it'll brighten her day or any of those thoughts that I want to share with her, I will text her or email her, but I have never called her number. And I did some work on going, why? Right? And when I peel back the layers of why, it literally goes back to, oh, I think I've built up my self-doubt muscle using all of the tips, all of the tactical stuff, all the stories, all the lessons in the book. And they have helped me get to a place where I've overcome so much, right? From self-doubt in so many areas to body doubt, to God doubt. I talk about all of it in the book. But then there's stuff where I'm like, you know what? I'm still not there yet. And I've got a ways to go. And to not call Oprah, I realized, was this deep down inside fundamental thing of not enoughness, right? And, oh, is my vibration

high enough to literally just call her? Well, yes, it is. And yours is too. Everyone listening is, right? I know that's the truth. And then getting to the place of fully believing it is a journey. It's a journey. So anybody listening to this who's dealing with that, who has maybe someone else telling you you're not enough, or you're telling yourself you're not enough, or you're always underestimated, right? There are so many things and stories and tips and tricks where I've figured out how to overcome those. But then I just think it's so important to talk about how literally for everybody, and by the way, Danielle, probably even for Oprah right now, it's all a journey.

We're all on this journey. And so giving yourself grace in it is so important because I don't think there's anyone out there who's not on this same journey. No, I'm so glad you raised that because you're right. It's all a work in progress. It's all a journey. And all we can do is like show up with a growth mindset to be better than we were yesterday, to try this something new.

And I think it's just really beautiful for you to kind of call that out and realize, oh, what was still showing up for me? And how can overcome that or how can I learn that or how can I challenge that a little bit more so and I think like say this is just a theme of your book right it's just about you showing up vulnerable and authentic and I'm sure you don't mind me saying this Jamie but people will put you on the pedestal and think oh my goodness Jamie has everything together and you just open up that book and say I am human I am just like every single one of you and these are the things that I've gone through and I've learned and I just think it was such a beautiful read like I just cannot honestly guys anyone listening to this you have to get Jamie's book because it blew me away

like I just read it cover to cover in a matter of days and I'm not even a quick reader I was just absolutely hooked but the key thing was that you were vulnerable and you sold and you told a story that I could see myself in and I know that women around the world will be able to see bits and themselves in part of your story and I just I'm so grateful for you to showing up the way you have on today and in the book. And I really want you to share because the book is out now and I understand there's a few surprises for our audience and how can they get hold of it? So give us some of these bits of information. Oh, thank you. Yeah. So this is such a big time, the book launch. And so yeah, it's out. And so the book is called Believe It,

How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable. And for anyone who picks it up, you can buy it really anywhere books are sold, online, on Amazon and independent bookstores and Target, book depository, all the places. But if you grab it anywhere books are sold and then you go to the book's website, which is Believe It. So the book's name is Believe It and then the website is believeit.com. If you go there and you just enter your order number, you get a bunch of free stuff just to celebrate that it's out. So you'll get a whole action plan. It's like a 90-plus page action plan that actually helps you implement all the lessons from the book into your real life. And then there's also a course called Becoming Unstoppable, How to Overcome the Things Holding You Back.

And so you get both of those for free. Big celebration of the book launch and the book coming out and I'm just so excited and super, super honored to share this with you and also Danielle, you and Natalie and what you're doing in your community. I just think it's so powerful and I'm just so honored to support it. I think for so many women, the power of community, the power of what the two of you do with sharing your stories behind the stories. For a lot of people, we don't have circles like that in our lives and we love our friends

and family and we love it. But like we need that as part of our inner circle and as part of the motivation and as part of having the courage and the confidence to step into all of who we are. And so just want to say thank you for what you guys do every single day. Thank you so much, Jamie. Now, listen, I know I made loads of notes and I know that people are going to be so inspired from listening to this. So guys, if you're listening, I would love for you to share your favorite takeaway with Jamie and I on Instagram? Tag us at, at Danielle Canty, tag at bossbabe.inc. And Jamie, do you want to share yours? Yes. At Jamie Kern Lima. So it's

J-A-M-I-E-K-E-R-N-L-I-M-A. So at Jamie Kern Lima, and I will repost it. I love it. I feel like we're going to get so many, like for me, rejection is God's protection there's just such a big big takeaway and following that gut following that gut instinct which I think you know digging into that woman's intuition was a big takeaway of mine so thank you so much Jamie and I really look forward to hearing all of our listeners takeaways as well so thank you thanks for being here and like I said Jamie is we're going to put some links in the show notes as well so you can get your hands on the book also if you loved this episode please subscribe download a few more and please leave us a review I really want to hear what you enjoyed what your main takeaways were and I also want to know what

you want to hear us talk about next to say thanks thanks for leaving us a review, we'll send you a copy of The Boss Babe 25. The Boss Babe 25 is the 25 essential resources you need for personal and professional growth. It covers everything from our favorite rituals, books, and hacks. If you want a copy, just leave us a review, screenshot it, and send to podcast at bossbabe.com. We will then email you a copy ASAP. And since we love Instagram, you can go to the hashtag The Boss Babe Podcast and find our latest post and leave a question in the comments. We love reading through the comments and we'll make sure to answer it on our next podcast.