the bossbabe podcast - 165. Taking Action And Moving Forward - In Spite Of Your Fear

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

When you hear stories of the most successful entrepreneurs, it’s tempting to think they just wake up every morning full of confidence and without any fear. But the reality is: that’s not true for most people, and it certainly wasn’t the case for Tiffany Largie. Knees-knocking, she got up every day motivated by one thing: creating a better life for her two little girls. By showing up consistently despite her fear, she grew multiple six-figure businesses before she was 30 and created financial freedom for herself and her family. In this inspiring podcast episode, Tiffany is sharing how she got the courage to show up every day...even when she didn’t feel like it. Plus – she’s totally flipping the script to show that fearlessness is NOT a prerequisite for creating a life you absolutely love.  Links: SoulCBD: https://bit.ly/3yiOlle Tiffany Largie: https://tiffanylargie.com/ Crush It With Your Story: http://crushitwithyourstory.com/  Follow:  BossBabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie: @iamnatalie Danielle: @daniellecanty Tiffany Largie: @tiffanylargie

So a lot of times we think we have a why, but we really just have a what. And that person, that woman, she focuses on a what. And the what will take you far, but it won't take you far enough because you're not emotionally connected to it and it doesn't emotionally drive you. Your why should absolutely either piss you off or it should make you really sad or it should draw you into a far left or a far right. this episode is brought to you by soul cbd now i want to share a little bit about my favorite cbd line because if you've been following boss babe for a while then you know how much we love soul cbd i actually personally discovered a while back and one of my favorite products is the calm

capsules and the strawberry gummies now i actually started taking cbd quite a while back. And one of my favorite products is the Calm Capsules and the Strawberry Gummies. Now, I actually started taking CBD quite a while ago to help me with stress and trouble sleeping at times. And I started getting into the habit of eating two of their strawberry gummies right before bed. And it's really helped me get amazing sleep. Not only do I sleep better, but I also wake up feeling calm feeling calm rested and really ready to take on the day and the other thing that I love about their gummies is I'm not joking they taste like sweets they literally taste amazing also another reason why I love the brand is Sol CBD products are actually grown in the US they're organically farmed and gluten-free and in addition to all of

that all of their products contain zero THC and are tested by a third party lab. So I really just wanted to pop in here and say that if you have any issues with discomfort, stress, anxiousness or trouble sleeping, I highly recommend you try this brand. So check out our episode notes to learn more about the products and access our 20% off promo code using BOSSBABE, okay? So that's 20% off all Soul CBD products using the code BOSSBABE. Welcome to the Boss Big Podcast, the place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of building successful businesses, achieving big performance and learning how to balance it all. I'm Danielle Canty, your host for this week's episode. Now I am really, really excited to bring this episode to you but I'm also a little bit sad because unfortunately Natalie and I weren't able to record this one together. We've had to divide and conquer as they say today but nonetheless

this interview with Tiffany Largy was absolutely amazing. Tiffany is actually the creator of Do the Damn Thing. She is an absolute boss babe. She started her, not one but not two, three businesses all by the time she was 30 alongside being a single mum and juggling it all. And in this episode, I really got to chat to Tiffany about selling, confidence around selling, strategy around selling, and some of the things that really stand in our way. You know, I work alongside a lot of female entrepreneurs and I know this is something that really comes up a lot. There's a lot of guilt or shame around it or sometimes just not feeling like you even know what to say or how to do it and so in this episode we really discussed things like the mindset and the strategy and one of the things that we really uncovered was something

that you're probably not going to expect. So it's a must listen to episode and I'm so excited to hear your takeaways. So when you've listened to it make make sure you tag myself at Danielle Canty and tag at bossbabe.inc with your favorite parts. So without further ado, let's dive in. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise, keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself, confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. Tiffany, thank you so much for coming on the Boss Babe podcast. I feel like, you know, we've just been chatting behind the scenes already and there's so many things I'm excited to talk with you today. I'm excited too. Now, you know, we've not spoken about this before, but obviously you came in society you did one of

the most amazing success kits and one of the reasons we reached out to you is not only have you built one not two but you built three six-figure businesses you went on to build a seventh all whilst before you were 30 and being a single mom like when I saw this I was like we need this woman teaching within the society because there is a lot of value right there. Oh, you're so awesome. I'm so excited to be here with your community and you're amazing. So this is going to be delicious. So before we dive in, I want to just learn a little bit more about your story. Like how did you get started? Like what was your motivation at that point to have done so much by the time you were 30? You know, there are some people who kind of wake up

and they're like, oh, I have all these goals. And so I'm going to go and crush these goals. There's some women like that. I was on the other side of the wall. I was the woman who was like, I just need to figure this out. You know, I had two children, 18 months apart. Dad is nowhere to be found.

There is no child support. And I have everybody and their mother giving me their opinions and ideas about how I should live my life, right? And everybody's like, oh, you need to go back to school. Tiffany, you need to go get a degree, go get a license, go get a certification. Everybody had an answer about how to solve my problem, right? And the truth of the matter is that we were either going to bed hungry or I was battling just like I was almost battling wanting to live is the truth. And I started a business out of despresy. I didn't

start a business because I was super smart, because I had this idea, because I write code or any of the above. I had no college degree, no license, no certifications. And starting business was the only way out of my situation for a woman. Money creates options, period, period, period, period. And being optionless, it was like, I was either going to give up, you know what I mean? Or I was going to do something. So for me, it was like, I'm going to start a business. You know what? I just want to call that out straight away because I think so many people, you know, they look at starting a business as, okay, like almost like a luxury, like a decision to be on purpose or something like that.

But we were just interviewing Tony Robbins the other day and he said very similar. He was like, you know, at the moment, everyone's like, oh, I want to be on purpose. I want to be purpose. But you can't find your purpose until you've got the basics of financial security. He's like, that's what matters most. And that's what matters for so many people. And again, Natalie and I were talking about another podcast episode

where we were like, actually, do you know what? It's like, sometimes you just got to take back control. And I think having a business can really do that. At least, you know, Some people can't get jobs, really struggling out there or they don't know if they're gonna have a job next week. Maybe the business that they work for isn't doing well and I think you just calling it out right there,

I need to take control. I need to start a business because I needed money and you were betting on yourself, right? Yeah, for sure. And I really to chalk it up to there's a difference for women between sitting in the passenger seat of their life and then sitting in the driver's seat and sometimes we think like oh I'm gonna start a business and it's like I'm gonna hire all these employees and I'm gonna do all these things for me it was like no

I just need to go and sell something if I can control my income, then that's everything. So me getting in the driver's seat was 100%. Okay, Tiffany, go sell something. And as scary as it may sound, you know, a lot of times in business, just in life, right? We wait for things and people to come to us. But at that time, I was making $10.22 an hour. It was $1,000 per child to put them in preschool. It was $1,000 per kid, $1,600 for rent. Forget about food and other things. I was negative $400 before I could even blink my eyes. And the truth of the matter

is that I understood like, okay, well, no one's coming to me. If money's not coming to me, you have to go to it. And understanding that principle, that core principle, changed the entire game because it's like, well, I may not understand this whole hiring office, you know, big business kind of thing, but I totally can be in the driver's seat by going out and selling something and knocking on a door. And that's what I did. I also love the simplicity of that, isn't it?

Like we can overcomplicate business so much. And like you're saying like, oh yeah, I've got to have this office. I've got to hire, I've got to have this team, but you just need to sell something. And repeat, what is something to sell? So how were you like, okay, I need to sell something. What do I sell?

Like, what was your, had you sold stuff before? You're like, how do I do this? Well, you know, the truth of do I do this well you know the truth of the matter is that you know I have a different perspective today but I want to be transparent to how I started the game I went to Barnes and Nobles and you know those books that have like top 10 businesses you could start for like under a thousand dollars so there were three sections right 500 to a thousand dollars 100 to 500 dollars it's zero to 100 and i just hung out in zero to 100 and i was like oh let me see what these people are talking about i was like medical

transcribing i don't know what that is that it was like lawn care i don't know what that is and then it was like you know because you turn the page and they have like this they have these two amazing paragraphs and this title and then you're like i don't i don't know how to do that but i landed on gift baskets as crazy as this sounds it was like the only thing that actually visually made sense basically it was like okay so i just put a bunch of junk in that junk put a bunch of stuff okay yeah i had never seen a gift basket i had never gotten a gift basket right like i saw them saw them on the, right. I saw them on TV. And so I was like, okay, so you put a bunch of stuff in a basket, you wrap it up and hand it to them. Okay, fine.

So it gave me the list of things that I needed to go buy a hundred bucks. And basically they said I can make $55,000 a year. And for me making $10 and 22 cents and always at a negative and going to bed hungry, I was like $ 55,000. I'm going to be, you know, in my mind, I'm truly in air status at that point. Right. So I acquired these items and, and I want to speak really to the woman who's like, well, where do I start? I didn't understand the concept of a service. So I went down the route of a product and I took the product and I wrapped it around the thought of a service. Now stay with

me for a moment because this is so important. I thought about those baskets that I saw that they were talking about that had like cheese and salami and all of that. And I was like, who wants that stuff? So I kind of sat down and I looked, don't want, I don't want cheese in the basket. Making it for me. So I was like, okay, well, what would I like? And I was sitting in my apartment that was two months past due and rent. And I was like, oh my gosh, we live, I lived in South Florida and there were a lot of new homes. So I started this business where I got like tied a cutting board, a little soap, a soap a sponge a rag and I created a new home owner's basket and I went to all the local uh pizza places and stuff like that and got them to give me coupons for their stores I put in this basket and then I sat down and I rapped and let me

tell you woman I was horrible at creating baskets like that was so flipping hard women are creative I am not one of them but but I sat there and I wrapped this thing and I kind of like like I I kind of like took a deep breath and I was like okay how am I gonna sell this so at that time everybody was like oh go to the internet I was like the internet I'm still trying to figure out these damn AOL CDs there's no way I could go to the internet I don't even understand what you're talking about. I barely know how to turn this computer on. Forget that. That's not going to work. So step number two is don't try to sell something that's without, just because other people are doing it doesn't mean you have to do it. You've got to stick within what's in your space. And for me, I was like,

well, I could take the basket and go show it to people. So that's what I did. I asked someone to give me a, to give me a ride Tuesdays and Thursdays so that they could put my kids in the back seat so that they could be watched. If that makes sense to babysit them. Cause there were too little, Maya was six months, Jada was maybe two and a half. And they would drive me from apartment complex to apartment complex. And I literally would take this basket, deep breath, and I would go and knock on a door. And I would go and find the property manager. I promise you, for the woman who's thinking out there, oh, well, that came natural.

Every single time, I almost died every time I got out of the car. I was like knees knocking and like, like hyperventilating, but my need to solve my problem had to be greater than my fear. And you know, like as a scared as I was every time, and I don't want you to think it just got better at weeks, a week. It didn't, it sucked every time, but it was like, I just kept thinking to myself, okay, if I could just make another $ thousand two thousand dollars you know like if I could just make enough to feed the kids and possibly and possibly like um also keep the lights on all the time and possibly pay the rent

on time it's all I could think about um and that focus drove me to a not a let fear win and to and to be dead set on sitting in that driver's seat. It's just really amazing to just share that story and just be like, hey, it actually didn't really get that much easier. It was really consistently hard because I think that's something that people don't share a lot. I've been very transparent about my journey through social media. I remember when I first started with Boss Babe, like putting my camera on my face to camera on social. I was freaking terrified. I remember doing my first live and I was like, hi, my name is Danielle and jumped off before anyone got on there.

Like no one was going on that live to see me on there. And, you know, when people ask me like, oh, like it's so natural for you now. I'm like, damn, it's really not natural at all. I still, I got better at it. I pushed through it. I'm like damn it's really not natural at all I still I got better at it I pushed through it I know the techniques to get me on there but still there's a little bit and I'm like oh do I have to jump on this one yeah I get that it's it was hard and I get that it's like you know I think sometimes we see like um people even on tv or um in media and we have this crazy idea that they just kind of waltz on and it's always natural and it's always perfect and it's like i just want everyone

to know that it's not it took me years of knocking on doors before i started to build to in store how do i say until i started to really own the fact that I could do it. But it didn't change the fact that I got up and did it over and over and over and over again until I got the result that I needed. So my experience of working with a lot of female entrepreneurs and ambitious women is there is this kind of lack of confidence around selling, this feeling of like, oh my goodness, I can't possibly do that, or shame around it. So feeling guilty for selling, feeling guilty for knocking on that door.

In fact, I had someone in the society just the other day ask me like, hey, I feel like I don't, I'm doing YouTube, I feel embarrassed to put my CTA, my call to action on the end, because I don't want to seem too sally. And I'm like, oh, what are you selling? She was like, oh, no, it's giving them a free challenge. I'm like, what? Now you're worried about selling a free challenge? And I'm like, wow, like, this is like such a rewire that needs to take place with so many women. I'm like,

service is selling. If you're telling me that challenge is good, you should be like wanting to shut that from the rooftop. So I'm really curious as to what your mindset was like or like how you pushed through it and you spoke about attaching to your why but what are some of are there any techniques that you started to learn that helped you on that journey so a lot of times we think we have a why but we really just have a what and that person that woman she focuses on a what, and the what will take you far, but it won't take you far enough because you're not emotionally connected to it. And it doesn't emotionally drive you. Your why should absolutely either

piss you off or it should make you really sad, or it should draw you into a far left or far right. The key or in the center of just selling or the persistence of consistency in selling comes from our confidence, sure, but it also comes from our focus. And that focus point of man, oh man, oh man, I absolutely can't, I can't have that thing that I'm emotionally connected to not happen. So for me, if I had said to myself, man, if I just make two, $3,000, I can't have that thing that I'm emotionally connected to not happen. So for me, if I had said to myself, man, if I just make two, $3,000, I'm golden. And I focused on that. I mean, it would allow me to, to knock on some doors and to do some things, but it would also allow me to make a lot of excuses. Oh, I'm too tired today. You know what?

I'm not feeling my best. Oh, I heard that bad news about such and such. I'm just going to take the, I'm going to take the whole day off and just kind of sit, which is what happens. And that's where inconsistency builds in. I actually would visualize this moment. So my daughter, my oldest daughter, she wanted a really specific toy and she used to think about it and talk about it and dream about it. And I would visualize myself giving her this toy on Christmas. So I would visualize myself bending down, handing it to her. And Jada has such a big, beautiful face. And I could, I would even right now I tear up just thinking about it. And it's like 18 years later, because the truth of the matter is that that act, that moment of feeling that

excitement from my daughter and that excitement of that moment, oh my God, I forced myself to want it so badly that I could literally taste it. So the idea of not making that moment happen was like an absolute no. And if I had focused on the money, the two, three, four, $5,000, you know, you can't emotionally connect to money. And for women, we're so conditioned to not want for ourselves. We're so conditioned to not dream. Like we allow ourselves to dream a little, but we don't allow ourselves to dream wildly. We're so conditioned to putting everybody else first. We're so conditioned to being second. I want to highlight that as two different things to just being second, that it was like, for me, I not only needed to focus on that moment,

but I needed to make that moment be the thing that was a non-negotiable for me. That non-negotiability or focus is what allowed me to get up when I didn't feel well, to get up when I had like 40 days of no's, to get up when I was like, nobody's on my side, to get up on moments where it was like, I don't know if this is working, to continue to do the thing that I committed to doing, because it's the commitment to me making that moment happen is what drove me to produce the outcome that I needed. I needed that moment. So that technique, um, at every stage allowed me to build the next revenue level. So me focusing on that moment with Jada, man, oh man, oh man,

it took me from, you know, negative $400. And when I say negative $400, I don't want you to think that I'm like, oh, well, I just don't have enough money. I mean that I'm looking at my daughter and in tears saying, I cannot feed you tonight. I am so sorry. You have to go to bed. We're going to go to bed hungry. That moment, those moments, they sucked. Me focusing on giving her that item allowed me to pull myself from, you know, $19,000, $20,000 a year, if you want to look at it like that, to my first $4,000 a month, then $5,000 a month than five thousand dollars a month then there's a big difference between I can't pay my bills and I can now pay my bills and breathe and think and focus as a woman because what happens for that woman is she gains two important powerful things she gets the ability to make decisions and then second she gains choices and options and baby let me tell you options are like magic for a woman she thinks differently she stands differently she responds differently she's just she's she's stronger I actually had chills so many moments of that like I don't have children so I can only empathize

with that story but I literally got chills. I was like, wow, like there's so much motivation. And I think whatever part of your life and mine was very different, but a similar motivation and the fact that it was the not achieving something that made me push through the fears. And I think that's what you're really connecting to as well. And, you know, I think a lot of people are like oh yeah I'm just like setting this goal to achieve it but when you have that like it's in your heart that the thought of not achieving that is so so painful god you get out of bed much quicker like I gotta go I gotta make this happen I got stuff to do yeah totally and so like let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform kajabi you know i've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity which i love not to mention our team

couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place so it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know. Get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible i definitely recommend kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering boss babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss

babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe as you were saying you've got that motivation you heard you were going in you were doing things you're recognizing that you know what this was not easy for me to do but there was the thought of not doing it was also not an option either how did you learn to sell what are some techniques? Because I've heard you talk around story before and different aspects. So I'm really curious in like how you've been doing it over the last, like what you say, 18 years, how you have honed that skill and what you see that works really well. You know, so there are phases, right? And I really want to

speak to, I really want to speak to the woman who's out there who thinks that it's a game of handling objections and getting really crafty in your speech. I got to my first six figures by focusing on volume. And I want to be transparent because yes, you can be great at handling objections and techniques. And I'm going to teach you and talk to you about story, which is what I learned over time. But initially my first six figures was a hundred percent just volume and anybody, anybody on the planet can make money. Number one, number two, they can make enough money. And number three, they can get to six figures if they focus on volume.

The key is, is that there's, there's that there's some things in there that are tough, which is consistency and doing it over and over again, because inside of it is rejection. So I committed to this number and it was roughly about 44. So every day I was looking to physically go outside of my office, quote unquote, my home and go knock on 45 doors every day. And for some people that seems like extreme, but it's no different than me today into today's digital world, DMing 45 people, emailing 45 people, picking up the phone and calling 45 people. It's literally no different. I just didn't feel confident enough to pick up the phone. It was a little bit insecure. So I was like, you know what? I can go and smile. Hi. You know, like I can go and smile, look at someone and

introduce myself. And what I learned is that if I ask enough people, someone's going to say yes. Yeah. So I really want to put this lesson inside of here because it's probably the most important lesson I learned as a woman. I was like, whoa, if I ask enough people, someone's going to say yes. It allowed me to start building quote unquote goals. I knew that, um, if I ask enough people, someone's going to say yes. It allowed me to start building quote unquote goals. I knew that, um, uh, that there was this math and this math is still true today for the person who's taking notes. It's, um, one in 20 opportunities or one in 20 people or one in 20 knocks, if you will, it turns into a prospect.

One in five of those turn into revenue. Okay. So let me repeat that one in 20 door knocks turn into a prospect and one in five of those prospects turns into revenue I wanted to make sure that I had one solid sale every single week so that's four sales a month and I was looking at anywhere from about eighteen hundred dollars to maybe four thousand dollars per sale and I was looking at anywhere from about $1,800 to maybe $4,000 per sale. And I was like, great, I'm going to make sure that I make $7,500 a month, which was my first goal, because you get to six figures by about $8,300. And I said, this is what, you know, this is what I want. And man, so I got a knock on 44 doors. I needed to be in front of 200 plus people every week deep breath the truth of the matter is that like 180 of those people were like uh you know they weren't they weren't like yay Tiffany I've been waiting for you to knock this door. Finally, you've arrived. Boy, let me tell you, that is not the case at all. But I didn't, I wasn't there for those 180 people. I was there for those eight. Yeah. Yeah. So a lot

of times, boy, we focus on the wrong things. And we're like, man, I need 180 people to like me. No, you don't. You need the nine people to like me. No, you don't. You need the nine people to like you. The nine people is going to pay your bills. The nine people is going to fill your bank account. The nine people is going to give you peace of mind. The nine people is going to give you clarity. The nine people is going to give you options. The nine people is going to give you boy, oh boy. And so those nine people is what I focused on hunting for. I needed to focus on the nine. That's it. That is literally it. So the first evolution of sales, I don't care who you are. I don't care what position you're in. I don't care if you feel like, well, Tiffany, I'm not good. You don't need to be good. You just need to show up as your best self. And I promise you that not only do you need to show up as your best folks, but if you show up as your best self consistently, then the dollars will come. That second part, the consistency, I got up and went out and knocked on 45 doors every day,

whether it was a good day or a bad day. And eventually I built a pool of leads that I could farm. And when I say farm, I mean nurture. And I nurtured them by going, hi, how you doing? How you doing? You guys ready to buy yet? No, you're not ready to buy. Okay, no worries. I'll be back. I don't know, in a month. Okay, great. Bye. Just like that. It was nothing fancy. There was nothing sexy. There was nothing like super cool. It was just me showing up and doing it over and over again until I got paid then I took it to the next level I think like the biggest mindset shift for so many is like knowing that every rejection you get is a step closer I think that's a weird happens when people go to

sell right they forget what it's like to be sold to like we're not as human beings we're not buying every single thing that someone offers us like offers to us like that would be crazy like why would we do that we have choice we want to make a decision sometimes we need things sometimes we don't need things so when we're in our like you know a customer point of view very very simple we switch positions into that selling position and all of a sudden it's like a lot of people forget the logic of that. They're like, well, what do they mean they won't buy it? Why would they not buy this? Why would that?

Every person I speak to not buy this thing. And you're like, well, you wouldn't buy it if you were a customer all the time. And I think it's like just allowing yourself to sit in those two seats is really powerful. And I love that formula you shared like I wrote that down because I am using that I haven't actually heard those exact numbers before and we always kind of teach like working up from that funnel like how many people do you want at the end therefore how many people do you need in the funnel like how many people do you talk to and I think there's also a lot of comfort because then those no's become like oh well they're

expected like I know that I need to speak to this many people. Those no's mean I'm one step closer to that yes. Versus what can happen is like, oh, my goodness, I feel fully rejected. It means that this product isn't good enough. It means that I'm not good enough. It means that X, Y, and Z. People are going to think badly or differently or all these things. and that's what I that's what unfortunately I see a lot of is that a lot of people really struggle with the rejection of selling and I think that locks a lot of people's confidence and you know I was chatting to Jamie Kern Lima about this as well you know she built um it cosmetics to like

1.2 billion I think she sold it for and they were doing like over 100 million in revenue and she was saying that thing like the same thing when she was trying to get money for it cosmetics like the rejections like but she was just like okay that's one more I've been redirected to somebody else and she just had to hold true that mindset and just know that every single no was a closer to some it was a closer to the yes and having that blind faith that you did is like keep going keep going keep going I just want to I want us to be talking about this more because I almost feel like it's just not something a lot of people share on the difficulties that they have gone through to get to success are there any particular stories that

have stood out to you on your journey that have been really challenging for you to overcome like certain rejections you're like oh I don't know if I can come back from this or a failure that's felt like hang on a minute can I actually get back up and brush myself off again or has it always been that you've had this like deep knowing within you that's like nothing is stopping me oh my gosh are you kidding me I feel like I'm rejected and fail like every day like I I feel like 97% of what I do doesn't work exactly let's normalize that like listen listen to me even today you know let me fast forward because yes it's so easy to to look at people even like where I am now. And then it's like, oh, everything just works. When I tell you that 97% of what I try does not work still, I promise you it is the God's honest truth. But here's where I if we as women, you know, like I, I, I spent so many years feeling rejected as a woman, just feeling like I wasn't enough, feeling like I wasn't inadequate. So sales

wasn't easy because it just mirrored other moments of my life. It mirrored people in my life. It mirrored situations in my life that were tough. But the truth of the matter is that, uh, uh, once I understood that rejection was part of the game, actually matter is that, uh, uh, once I understood that rejection was part of the game, actually it's part of that formula, right. And I'm looking for the equation to build out, right? Like if you can, as a woman, I had to understand not that it was, or was not about me, but that I was working out a math formula. That's it. I was working out an equation and I understood that rejection was part of it, a lot of it, and consistently, and that I was hunting for my yeses. And sometimes we're hunting for our yeses in different facets. Like back then I was hunting for a yes for a customer or client.

Then I was hunting for yeses when it came to employees, right? Finding the right fit, finding the right person. Then it was partnerships. And even in the company we run today, you know, it's like five years ago or six years ago, I guess now, when I sold my company. So I left gift baskets. I went into a couple of other industries. Had to do with hardware and software. I went into events, events planning. And I just kept going to the next business that looked like it would give me more of a return, that I would make more money. It's really very simple.

In 2010, I gambled on myself, or 2009, I should say. I gambled on myself. I had mastered building a six figure business in the state of Florida. And I was really, really scared. Um, because I had had a couple of instances where one of my kids got sick, they were in the hospital for a long time and I can't came out. And I was like, wait a second, why are all these bills here? And I started to understand that there was a direct correlation between me not being out in the field knocking on those doors and me not having money in my bank account. I was like, oh, wait a second. Oh, I built myself a job. Okay, so it was like, oh, I think there are people out there who can be out of the office for a couple of weeks, and they can actually still make money.

I need to figure out how those people do that. Literally, that's exactly it. It's like, how do you make money, continue to make money if life happens to you, if you have life cards, if you have things putting your path? So I made a decision in 2010 to move to the state of North Carolina. Now, let me just give you this as concept number three, you have to bet on yourself. If I'm going to make a bet, like I'm totally the best bet. And I gambled and I moved to North Carolina because I heard the company Xerox had low market share in that state. And I was like, Oh, okay, well, I'm gonna go there because apparently I know how to knock on doors. I was like, I have to hire people. What? I have to have an office, a real one of those things. Oh my gosh. And, um, I, you talked about being rejected. I went to the state of North Carolina, which is in the South. And as a black woman, I was not prepared for knocking on doors there. And it was the toughest, probably the toughest life, emotional woman lesson I was told to leave. I, um, and I had to,

I had to learn almost like I almost had to relearn me all over again. It's like, you know, sometimes we get to a point in our lives, we feel like we have the game wrapped up. And I thought that I had the game wrapped up. I had mastered knocking on doors. I made multiple six figures. I'm making money, but then I get to a state that's not really excited about seeing a black woman. And I had to relearn to, to fight for the same outcome all over again. And that was a whole nother level of me repeating. I can't let fear win. I would leave so many offices and cry in my car and go home and go, Oh my God, I made the wrong decision. Oh my God, this was the wrong thing. Uh, you know, like, you know, not regret like not regretting, but, you know, questioning myself and cussing myself and, you know, all of everyone on the floor was

like, Tiffany, just come back home. You know, like it'll be get better. And, and, and I kind of said to myself, yeah, but I, I committed to this thing. I can't, I know the reason why I would retreat is because. I could lead with how many years we've been in business. I could lead with, we do all the right things, but I started to leave those things behind. And when I knocked on the door, I was like, well, you know what? Damn it. They've never seen me. I'm going to lead with the one thing that the world has never heard of or seen before. You may have seen a black woman. Sure. You may have seen a person from said company. Sure. You may have said someone who has this product, but I'm just going to lead with me because this is a story. This is a journey of me connecting my heart to yours. And if I can connect my heart to yours and I can bypass

your concerns about my color, I can, I can bypass your concerns about whether you think I'm educated enough. I can bypass your thoughts and concerns about whether you think I'm the right fit because my human card is the which is bedded in my story, um, was what allowed me to go from, you know, I guess zero to seven figures. I mean, we hit 1.2, 1.3 million in one year, in the first year. It was crazy. Um, I don't want anyone to think it happened overnight. I mean, there were, there, there, there were a lot of nights of crying in the beginning. But then when I made this decision to leave with my story, that's when everything changed. And that's so powerful. And I hear over and over again from really successful people that you have to be so authentic. And it's those people who show up unapologetically themselves as their human selves

and share that story and put themselves on the line that I think you know allows so much more know like and trust to really come through it's not easy though to do it's not easy to like you know lead with that aspect so what were you know because on the Boss Bay podcast I always say this like I want to get that level deeper than anyone else goes, right? So you're saying about, you said two things today. It's like showing up as your best self, continue to do that. And the second of all, like, you know, putting that human card first. What does that actually mean for anyone listening?

Anyone listening is like, you know what, I really relate to this and I think I can do more of this. What does that mean for them to be able to go away and implement that? What do they need to get clear on? So first thing you have to get clear on is you have to stop managing other people's insecurities. The absolute core of it is we spend so much time managing other people's insecurities that it is the baseline of what causes us to trip is what causes us to trip and to fall and to hit ourselves and hit ourselves over and over again, needlessly, because we're managing other people's insecurities. That is

step number one, two, three, four, maybe even five. It is what got me from, um, six figures to half a million. It's what allowed me to start making multiple six figures when I embraced this concept. But then step number two is me making a decision to tell my story. And when you hear the word unapologetically, it's like, I want you to think of this. We can tell our story, but if we're still managing other people's insecurities, then we're curating how that story is told. And we're curating it and we're telling it so that it's comfortable for other people. And we're telling it so that like these people receive it this way and we don't offend our parents and we don't talk about such and such and such. And I'm going to tell you what, here I am an entire world later.

And I say to myself, man, I wish I would have started telling my story sooner. Me owning my story was first. And that's what allowed me to stop managing other people's insecurities. Me being willing to tell my story, the good, the bad, and the ugly, the very ugly. Okay. And I don't mean the timeline version because in business we are like, okay, great. I'm going to tell the story. Sure. Absolutely. And then we tell this timeline version of it. Well, this happened and this happened and then that, and then that, that's

not really it. The truth of the matter is that the human card requires me to reveal the human's real experience. And the real experience is normally really ugly in moments. It's messy. It's awkward. It has moments of shame, embarrassment. It has moments of not just transparency, but like crazy vulnerability and vulnerability without, vulnerability without like picking it up and making it better. You know what I mean? Like just pure vulnerability where you let the vulnerability just lie and just be,

and you kind of just sit there and you're like, here it is and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna go and make it better in this moment. That me owning my story allowed me to start hiring the best people on the planet. It allowed me to start not just best people on the planet. It allowed me to start, um, not just hiring because hiring is one thing, but then keeping people and retaining them. It's totally different. Instead of hiring people based on skill, it allowed me to find people where I could,

I could hire them based on heart because I can teach skill all day long, but you can't teach hard. You can't teach hard, just pure money. And then after that, it allowed me to really dial in on, you know, that concept of like our, your ideal customer, your ideal client. And, and we talk about that a lot in business and we, a lot, we chop that up to like, Oh, well they make certain amount of money. They're this color, they're this age, they're a woman, they're a man, they're, you know, all of these things. But I'll tell you what we, you know, so 2010, I run that company for five years. I sold that company in 2015. And, um, for the last, I guess now six years, I've been the CEO of this amazing movement called do the damn thing nation. And

what's wild about is that we teach people now how to tell their stories and we teach businesses how to scale ridiculously with their story. But more importantly, we teach, I find the woman who still doesn't believe she's possible. I find the man who still doesn't believe he's possible. And we show them how their story almost is like, um, it's like the key. It's like that magic key to all of the things they've been trying to fix, repair in their life. Change in their marriages, in their friendships, in their circle of friends, in their perception of themselves. And more importantly, it all translates to their ability to make money and to grow. Totally. There were so many points during that story that I'm like yes yes yes yes and one that I really

relate to as well is the ownership piece and the owning your story I think you hit the nail on the head when you say a lot of stories traditionally are told in a timeline piece versus like you know of like oh I did this and then I did that versus I went through this this changed for me I realized this I evolved in this way. I had this emotion around this bit. I had to pick myself up here and this brought me on to the next thing. That's it right there. You just said it. I had this emotion. That's the number one thing women leave out. Yeah. And I think it's because, you know, for me, I'm like super open on the podcast and within the communities and

I was sharing two things was like when I did a lot of therapy last year when I had a lot of shame around crying previously like I felt like um crying was a very negative emotion and it was something that you know you shouldn't be crying like why are you crying like that type of thing like that's a weakness why are you crying and I really learned that it was like energy and motion and actually it was just a way it wasn't positive or negative it was just allowing emotions to move through me and the reason I'm sharing this was because it also ties in with the other part that you were saying around ownership I started to own who I was that you know what I am quite sensitive on the outside you know I'm really strong in the middle but I'm like sensitive and like having these other pieces like owning yeah do you know what I am do you know how much

I tried to hide for so long that I was terrible at spelling like I was so ashamed that I was so bad at spelling and I wasn't dyslexic so I'm like okay I'm just bad at spelling I haven't like there's not even a reason I'm just bad at it and then haven't like, there's not even a reason. I'm just bad at it. And then put in coming to America and then from the UK, I'm very confused at this point. But like there was so much freedom when I started just owning it and saying, you know what? I'm going to own my weaknesses and I'm going to own my strengths. And I think that comes also down to a lot of how you can be authentic yourself,

whether you're telling your story in your business or you're just like going about your day there is for me there was this feeling that I had to be like say somebody I had to tell me curate my story for other people or curate who I was for other people way back when and like I think that's my whole journey with Boss Babe started because I was like you know what I'm not'm done. I'm like, I want this. I want to be me and I want to own who I am. And it's an ongoing journey. I don't think it's ever like done and easy. I think it's something that a lot of people go through. But I do think when you start owning who you are and you own your story, the good, the bad and the ugly, there is something so freeing, so like liberating around that and just so much peace around it like oh yeah I'm never gonna try and be perfect because it's unachievable this is me

I got my tad tall now no you are so right no that's actually it for sure the key word is free it's like when when you're free so like when you're free that's when selling becomes fun that's when business becomes fun that's when making money becomes, that's when selling becomes fun. That's when business becomes fun. That's when making money becomes fun. That's when connecting with other people becomes fun. Because you're not really selling them. You're providing a solution. And you're helping them solve a problem.

And it's like your human card is connected to their human card. And so they're not concerned about how fancy your website is or how big your team is. They're concerned about the fact that, or they're focused on the fact that their human card has totally come in alignment with another human. And you can feel that kind of energy. It's real at a hundred percent. So it's like, we don't, we move away from the ideas of let's sell and let's close and let's handle objections and all of that stuff too. Let's just put the human card first, attract the right person because that right person, you're not going to have to explain yourself to them. They're just going to get it. They're going to understand you. They're going to vibe with you. They're going to be with you because like you guys are the same. Like if you look at our community here, we are five years

later. Um, I've, you know, we have countries that I, I, we have countries dialed in as clients, customers, and on our list that I would have never dreamed of. I'm still black. And the truth of the matter is that we are 30% white male. We are 30% white male. And these are men who are not connected to a wife. They're not coming in because of a spouse. None of the above. We have been able to break a kind of an idea around what's possible. I still don't have a college education.

I still don't have a license. I still don't have a college education. I still don't have a license. I still don't have a certification, you know, and I'm still a woman. And all of those things have allowed us to not just play in the market, but to, to really, um, to build a movement. And for me, like I, for me personally, that's kind of my goal for every woman, every woman who needs to be a boss is to build a movement. Because right now there are people who are waiting to hear your story, sure. But there are people who need to hear your story. There's a difference.

There are people who are waiting, but there are people who need to hear your story. And they need to hear your story because they hear your story. And your story has the roadmap that they need to get out of the cage that they're in to get out. And it's like we have this human moral life. God, however you want to picture it, responsibility to then go and tell our story. For me, I made a commitment five years ago, six years ago. Once I understood how free and how delicious my life was, I felt like I was cheating, honestly. I was like, do I really get to live this life? This is for real my life. Like these are the things I get to do. Stop, stop it.

I was like, man, oh my gosh, I need other people to be, to feel like this, you know? And, uh, that's where I became committed to teaching people one, how to tell their story, more importantly, how to use their story and how to scale with their story. Because the person who owns a business is sitting in the driver's seat, as far as I'm concerned. The person who knows how to make money on their own is sitting in the driver's seat, as far as I'm concerned. The person who is not managing other people's insecurities and they're free from that, they're also sitting in the driver's seat, as far as I'm concerned. And then the person who gets to live out loud, live out loud, exactly how they want to live, is the person who actually makes the

greatest impact on this planet. Sure. But they make the most impact on the friends that they have, the family that they come from, the children that they have, all the people that they're responsible for, all the people that they're responsible for, all the people they're connected to. And that's where life becomes exciting. I love that. Thank you so much, Tiffany, for coming on this podcast and just being so vulnerable and sharing the emotions of your story. I really appreciate that because I know it has,

will have inspired so many people listening. Before we round off, I would love for you to share where people can find out more about you, like social handles your website let's give them the links oh come and stalk us yes for sure feel free so I'm at Tiffany Larkey just about everywhere you can easily type and do the damn thing or do the damn thing nation anywhere you're going to come and find us um for help on how do I tell my story. We're going to start with crushitwithyourstory.com and that's just simple. It is simple and delicious on what do I include in my story right now if I were going to include, if I were going to change how I tell

it. Come hang out with us on tiffanylargy.com. But if you come and you stalk us, please say hi. Don't just stalk us. Ask a question. We like vocal stalkers. Yes. Yes. I want audible stalkers. That's exactly right.

I don't want any silent stalkers. We're in a new year, people. You know what I mean? I need like legit stalkers. Let me know who you are. Ask us a question. Let us know how we can serve you. Thank you. This is amazing. Thanks, Tiffany. you