the bossbabe podcast - 176. The Fundamental Mindset Shifts You Need To Experience Lasting Success

Episode Date: July 27, 2021

Mindset is the #1 thing standing in the way of most peoples’ success. No doubt. So what parts of your current mindset do you need to hold on to – and what do you need to change – to really see success in your life? On this week’s episode, Natalie and Danielle are sharing their unfiltered, no BS approach shifting their mindset + unpacking how mindset and success are fundamentally intertwined. If you are tired of having roadblocks standing in the way of living the life you want and are ready to make a lasting change - this episode is for you. Links: The Société: The Société by BossBabe Soul CBD: https://www.mysoulcbd.com/pages/bossbabe Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/bossbabe  Follow:  BossBabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie: @iamnatalie Danielle: @daniellecanty

Everyone can get to the 90% or even if they're 100%, whatever. You have to go above and beyond where other people are not willing to go. That's what separates you from the rest. That's what gets the business off the ground. And we talk around getting businesses off the ground all the time and kind of like using the metaphor of flying a plane. Like you need that energy. You need so much freaking energy and power to get that plane off the ground

and get it into the air then yeah you can coast a little bit once it's up there but you have to get that energy from somewhere and you know we're not glorifying the hustle and we really believe in like a holistic approach to business and you have to really work your freaking ass off if you want to start and grow a business. This episode is brought to you by Soul CBD. Now, I want to share a little bit about my favorite CBD line because if you've been following Boss Babe for a while, then you know how much we love Soul CBD. Now I want to share a little bit about my favorite CBD line because if you've been following Boss Babe for a while then you know how much we love Sol CBD and one of my favorite products is the calm capsules and the strawberry gummies. Now I actually started taking CBD quite a while ago to

help me with stress and trouble sleeping at times and I started getting into the habit of eating two of their strawberry gummies right before bed and it's really helped me get amazing sleep. Not only do I sleep better but I also wake up feeling calm, rested and really ready to take on the day. Also another reason why I love the brand is Soul CBD products are actually grown in the US, they're organically farmed and gluten-free and in addition to all of that all of their products contain zero THC and are tested by a third party lab. So I really just wanted to pop in here and say that if you have any issues with discomfort, stress, anxiousness, or trouble sleeping, I highly recommend you try this brand.

So check out our episode notes to learn more about the products and access our 20% off promo code using BOSSBABE okay so that's 20% off all Solcibead products using the code BOSSBABE. A BOSSBABE is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise keep going and fighting on she is on a mission to be her best self in all areas it's just believing in yourself confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. Welcome to the Boss Babe podcast, the place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of building successful businesses, achieving peak performance and learning how to bounce it all. I'm Danielle Canty, co-founder of Boss Babe and today I am joined by Natalie

Ellis, also co-founder. How are you feeling? Well I'm gonna be honest with you I'm feeling a tad sassy this morning. A tad? Just a tad because I had a 7am meeting with my UK divorce attorneys just how everyone wants to start their day and let me tell you divorce is freaking stressful at the best of times and when you have the money it's even more stressful it's even worse you actually don't often hear about it that way around no you hear about the man being the one with the money and correct and my divorce attorneys love it they're like oh yes this would be a great case to go to court because there's no examples like i'm you know what i'm like i'm like a full researcher so i'm like right i now need to become a divorce attorney it's my mission to understand uk divorce law so i'm like

reading all of these papers and i'm like where it's like most of the time every single one i found and i know there's gonna be cases outside of this but it's the male who has the money and so i think we're moving into a new era where women have the money and we're going to be seeing more and more of this and when you're a woman who's worked hard for money with no children law is not really in your favor gotta be honest with you yeah and this ties in uh quite nicely I think to today's podcast because what we really want to talk about is this whole conversation because you made your money with no help just putting that out there you worked your ass off and I think there's a big difference between

um between some people some people are just inherently motivated not gonna make their own success no matter what stands in their way and others won't they are so married to their excuses that they don't get there and so what I would love to talk about on today's episode is that conversation we were having where we were starting to dissect what it really took for us to get here and like we obviously still have a while to go but I think what we've been able to achieve both individually and together is really amazing considering our age and when we both sat down to dissect like what really got us here even before we knew each other our kind of story the way we got here was exactly the same isn't that interesting yeah I think you just touched on

something there which is like we've never bought into excuses and I think that is a key differentiator for people who are successful and people who are not because it's so easy to say oh this didn't work out because of someone over here I didn't achieve at this because this situation happened we've never ever done that and there's a piece of it that's around taking responsibility for your actions on a daily which I have been around both kinds of people you are someone who takes responsibility for your actions on a daily, which I have been around both kinds of people. You are someone who takes responsibility for your actions on the daily. You're like, if something doesn't work out, you're not pointing fingers, you're not blaming other people. You're like, okay, how can I fix this? How can I take control? And that's exactly how I am. And I honestly think that's the biggest

difference of people who are like, oh, well, you know know I couldn't do this because I had this going on at the time or you know I wanted to achieve this but this person didn't deliver on what they said they were going to those are the people that don't get to where they want to get to because they're too busy hiding behind their excuses yeah I think that's a really big one and at the end of the day in business I mean just generally in life to be honest there's always going to be something in your way and I think there's a few misconceptions about success and I think the first one is that you have to know where you're going you have to have this really clear big vision you have to have all this clarity and it just speaking for me like at the beginning

of my career when I left uni and when I was experimenting with lots of different things I had no fucking idea where I was going I really really didn't but I didn't let that hold me back my approach was okay if I show up every single day and I do my best and I lean towards the things that feel good and I take opportunities like I say yes to opportunities that I don't really know where they're going to take me but I say yes anyway and I always do my best without this like feeling of entitlement or anything like I'll work any job I'll start anywhere I will roll my sleeves up and like work for someone for free if it's going to get me the experience that is going to help me and I feel like that's how I've gotten here it's just every day one foot in front of the other doing my best. Because I think, you know, back then if I'd allowed the idea of, I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I want to be to hold me back. Then I

would never have gotten here because I didn't know I wanted to be doing this. I, yeah. And I think that's a misconception. Like a lot of people think that they have to have everything ironed out. They have to know exactly what they are going to create in their lives they have to know where they're going to be in five years 10 years 20 years you and I are all about like setting the goals but there also is a point where you don't know what opportunities are going to present yourself so if I think around when I first started my chiropractic business did I ever think in a million years I would have an online business? No, absolutely not. Did you ever think you'd be on a podcast? No, I didn't, did I even, I didn't even think I was

going to live in America. That was never on my radar. And so I think it's like when I met you in San Diego, again, I never went with the, oh, I'm going to San Diego to spread number shot comments because I'm going to meet my business partner and then we're going to start Boss Babe and do all these things. No, that didn't happen. So yes, I always had a vision of like, I want to create something for my life and I'm not going to let anything stop me. Did I exactly know what I wanted to create? No, I just knew I wanted to work for myself. I did not want to feel like I had a glass ceiling. I did not want to feel like someone was in control of my income and I knew after a while of doing chiropractic I wanted location independence so I just knew those values that I wanted to achieve

how I was going to get there I had no freaking idea but I was willing to try things and experiment with things and see where that got me and I think a lot of people they get stuck with perfect action versus imperfect action and i also think that's what you and i are really good at we're really good at taking action and it sometimes works out great and it sometimes doesn't but the fact that we make more moves we do more action we do more things means the probability of our success drastically increases so if you think about it like if you're only every um 10 days making like two or three plays you have to hope that those and you're looking for perfect plays you have to hope that those plays are perfect whereas if over 10 days you're making 20 plays you don't know if they're

perfect but you're doing them anyway the probability is three of those are going to be perfect the rest was shit and they've not mattered but at least you've done something and I think that's the biggest mistake I see a lot of people making is just not making the taking the actions and making the plays in the first place yeah and let's talk about that idea of making plays the concept of making plays without expectation again was something that came up in our conversation because I know for me when I was doing Instagram back in the day to be honest I was doing most of it for free for people and I was you know learning along the way and I was honestly just grateful to have the opportunity I had no big expectations of how that was going to pay off I wasn't like demanding these big

salaries or whatever I was like yeah I want to learn and so I'm gonna just do this and remember our first interaction where I was doing a boss membership and I was looking for someone to do a success kit and someone had fallen through and our friend Nick was like oh I have someone I think she'd probably do it and you stood up all night with no expectation the message came through at 5 p.m no 6 p.m because I was driving home from my chiropractic clinic so actually maybe the 6 30 i think it was a friday night i think it might have been a friday night and this opportunity came through and i was like right it's like 6 30 p.m i've got nothing stop you just said this opportunity came through that's your thinking that's your mindset yeah

straight away so yeah you're right yeah yeah and I was like wow this opportunity came through but it's 6 30 at night and you were eight hours behind because you were in um San Francisco I think at the time and you needed it by like 5 p.m your time so I was like okay I've got basically seven hours to do this thing I got home and I had never created a keynote presentation like that. I'd done like slideshows, but I'd never recorded anything. So I'm like trying to figure out how I record this thing. And it was like the simple of hurdles. I didn't even know how to transfer a file that big. I remember.

Because you couldn't do it by email. Like I had to use WeTransfer. I'd never heard of it. But the point was, I was like, right, there's an opportunity. I'm going to say yes. And then I'm going to figure it out later. And I just stayed up and I literally worked until like 5 a.m., got it to you. And then I slept for four hours.

And then what was the thing? I was actually in clinic on the Saturday morning. So I actually was in clinic at 8 a.m. till 12 again. And I was like, if I can just get through those four hours in clinic, then I can go home and sleep. And that's what I did. I didn't remember that it was you until we were actually in business together years later I was like oh remember when I did this you're like that was you and I was like yeah I never I didn't remember that it was you because it was there was just a lot going on at the time but I remembered the person who did that and I remember

you didn't tell me you were working through the night I didn't know where you're actually located I didn't know any of this I just know that I needed help with something and this landed on my desk and what I also knew was there was no ask associated with it which was so interesting and I find that I've done similar things too when I've seen an opportunity come up I'm like oh I would love to help that person and I think it'd be really good experience for me or maybe it's going to help get my name out there whatever it is and just because you're not being paid doesn't mean that I like half-arsed it go all the way and do it as if I'm being paid you know 10 grand to create this thing do you know what I think it is it was that opportunity was given to lots of people and I was the only one that said yes and

it's part of being successful in business is going where the 90% won't I genuinely believe that it's the everyone can get to the 90% or even if the 100% whatever you have to go above and beyond where other people are not willing to go that's what separates you from the rest yeah that's what gets the business off the ground and we talk around getting businesses off the ground all the time and kind of like using the metaphor of flying a plane. Like you need that energy. You need so much freaking energy and power to get that plane off the ground and get it into the air. Then, yeah, you can coast a little bit once it's up there, but you have to get that energy from somewhere.

And, you know, we're not glorifying the hustle and we really believe in like a holistic approach to business and you have to really work your freaking ass off if you want to start and grow a business you are going to have to make sacrifices and I heard this saying a little while ago that's kind of like the hard choices now set you up for the easier life later versus the easier choices now set you up for the harder life later and that's also what I think around I'm like what am I willing to sacrifice now so I can reap the rewards in later life versus the other way around let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform Kajabi you know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place.

So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering boss babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com

slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe yeah i completely agree and also i don't know if this is controversial but i'm going to share it anyway maybe it is please don't cancel me. The other day, so we hired that house and we were shooting for three days. We were doing some really fun creative ads and batching content and all that stuff. And I'd put on my Instagram looking for an assistant to come and support over three days. And someone had responded and said, hey, I'm really interested. This would be so interesting for me because I'm trying to learn the ropes. I'm brand new to this online world and I'm really interested in learning the ropes.

And I was like, oh, great. And she was super young. And initially my first thought was, oh, it would be great to have someone come in that we can actually show things to and like give priceless advice. Yeah, have her just be able to really see how things go down. And of course, we wanted to pay her so I sent back um that sounds great would love to show you the ropes we'll spend time doing that um can you send me over your day rate and she and I'd seen her cv2 and she didn't have any experience she really was brand new to it and her day rate was a very very high six figure salary

day rate and I remember looking at it and I just said to her like this is way beyond my budget I'm I'm not gonna go ahead this time but and I appreciate the willingness to put yourself out there like that but to me that I just couldn't have imagined myself doing that like if I was really interested in learning the ropes I would have put I would have done my research of like what's a reasonable date rate for a shoot assistant and put that forward. This was probably like 10 times at least the normal amount of a day rate. And when I said that, like, hey, this is above budget. She was like, well, tell me your budget

and I'll be willing to work with it. And I was like, no, like it just passed to me. It's the energy of like entitlement. Like she would have been there when happy because she thought that we should have paid her a lot more. And it was like, it just was crazy crazy to me and it's things like that like I just think back to when I was getting started even now so like I'm really wanting to learn the ropes of more creative stuff and if I'd seen someone that I really respect post on Instagram saying they

want to shoot assistant for that day and I want to learn stuff from them I'd be the first to put my hand up I think that's the thing. Okay. So I definitely, this is a very interesting conversation because like I say, we are here saying like women should get paid what they're worth, right? Yeah. Absolutely. 100%. That's never, ever up for negotiation.

So one of the things I care personally about so much at Boss Babe is making sure we make really incredible hires whenever our team is growing. But you know what? That process can sometimes feel so freaking overwhelming, especially at the beginning when you're trying to get qualified people in the door. Yeah, totally. That first little bit once you post a job is so crucial because you're either going to get the right people to apply and be able to move forward or you're going to be totally stuck and that's why I really love LinkedIn jobs. Yeah I know for us LinkedIn jobs has seriously been such a game changer at Boss Babe because when you post a job you know it's going to a group of people who are actually qualified and would be a really

good fit for your organization. Because of that I feel like it's really helped us make some pretty incredible hires Natalie who have been really impactful on our internal team too. Yeah, if you need to make your next hire and want to have a lot smoother of a process than ever before, then you need to check out LinkedIn Jobs. LinkedIn Jobs will help you hire the right person for your role and your first job post is free. Just visit linkedin.com slash boss babe. Again, that's linkedin.com slash boss babe again that's linkedin.com slash boss babe to post your first job for free terms and conditions apply and we're also saying energy exchanges come in so many different forms there is a monetary form and there is an experience

and opportunity and connection and all these things that also has a lot of value to it as well and I think sometimes people don't quite grasp that concept and just like you were saying I was literally thinking today if someone said to me Danielle we are running this come and volunteer if you will come I go and speak at things all the time mainly because I actually think it's really good experience for me and I don't charge I'll go and speak and I'm like this is a good opportunity I never I never know who I'm gonna meet like I want to put myself out there other people are doing it and I believe you know and sometimes I was gonna say believe in the course and there's no even a cause but like you know I'm just gonna do it because I'm like I never that's an opportunity I'm gonna get in the room

with new types of people and I see the value in that and I think that's a challenge that a lot of people don't actually recognize is there was a lot of value and not just saying that about us but there's a lot of value around being around certain people you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with and I will always now like I'll go and do stuff for free I don't charge or you know if that opportunity came up for you like you say you're like hey someone says I'm a I'm a tiktoker with 20 million subscribers yeah or like you can come behind the scenes and like watch me do tiktok I wouldn't charge I would volunteer but also I'm in the financial position where I can do that however if I was early in my career I would do the research of like what's reasonable to charge because I would have need

my expenses paid and I would have asked for that yeah now it's it's nice we'll say like we could volunteer which is great but even we will so we had a great budget set aside and things like that but you've got to be willing to put the work in and just like if you're brand new to an industry be willing to start from the beginning and figure it out as you go along and I think resourcefulness comes into that too like so take this for example we're recording in person we're filming all this stuff and we were just chatting with Hunter who's helping us set this all up because we haven't got a fucking clue what we're doing and I was like sitting mesmerized watching him set the whole thing up and I was like how did you learn how to do this he was like um to be honest it's the first

time I've done it like this but I just have been reading stuff and figuring it out and I'm resourceful. And I'm just like, that is everything, being willing to be resourceful, to roll your sleeves up, to get on Google. And I remember setting up a supplement company, got on Google, I was like, how to set up supplement company, how to find factory.

I built my entire business off the back of Google and it was fine. Yeah, it is. it's that resourcefulness that going hang on i'm gonna set my mind to something and i'm going to sit here until i figure it out whether it's on google or the society you know well that's the society is definitely an easier option than google these days it really is but yeah no i think it's a really it's an interesting conversation and i'm glad we're having it. That's what this podcast is around. Like, you know, mine, it's just mine

and yours opinions right now. And I message it so I'll listen to your opinion on whether you would, you know, take a lesser pay over a weekend to learn something or not. I'm curious, actually. Yeah. What people's feedback is. I know what mine would have been.

And like you say, it wasn't even as if it was for free. It was good pay associated with it. Just not a six figure salary pay for that type of role yeah exactly and I'm just I am glad we're having these conversations because I really love to go back and put myself in the mindset of like me in university like you know I remember being so confused so worried like couldn't even imagine what my career was gonna look like I just lacked so much clarity but I never lacked the motivation and I think it's complete BS that people who are successful wake up motivated every single day there are some days like some people say work for yourself and you'll never work a day in your life I call bullshit you

will work many days of your life there are so many days that i wake up and i really cannot be bothered to get to work or the kind of things that i'm doing i'm not really enjoying or there's like shit going on in the company like it happens it's always gonna happen and i do it anyway like pour a cup of coffee like messy bun get shit done that stuff is real and that's how you stay motivated is you get it done regardless you get momentum and you just show up i wonder if like social media has given the wrong impression as well because the highlight reel it's like oh yeah you see these like motivational pages including ours or other people's or these you know people like you say who are sometimes appearing like they're always positive that they always have their shit together that

everything in their life is absolutely perfect and that just couldn't be further from the truth like that's why on all honesty i show up here and i'll talk about my divorce and i'll talk about like i had to pull you out of a closet yeah like this morning i was literally crying my eyes out i had a 7 a.m legal meeting in my closet yeah because you had to have like um hair lady here and i didn't want to she saw me crying but she yeah it was very visible but then Danielle was in the closet I tried to run the tap so you can hear me no I couldn't I couldn't hear anything but I was like wanting to come check on you I was like Danielle Danielle so I came in your room I couldn't see you and I was guessing you're in the closet so

I came back out I went in I think I went in three or four times and then I came in a final time I opened the closet door I'm like you know we really gotta get to work and you're like I'll come out soon and then another 20 minutes and when I was here and I said when I was like I'm psyching myself up I'm gonna go in again I really need to get our rallied up we need to go and then just at that moment you came out and I was like okay yeah we gotta go I knew that I needed I that's the other thing I was holding myself responsible to showing up for this day so i had to have this call and i guess this is the other thing i had to call at 7 a.m so that i did not interrupt this podcast day and your day is not going to finish till about 10 p.m

yeah because i was like i need to do what it takes and this is one thing so many people wait for the perfect moment to do something fucking Fucking newsflash, that perfect moment will never exist. It is never the perfect time to get married or get divorced or have children or start that business or buy that house. You have to just commit to it and then figure it out afterwards I think waiting for the perfect moments is like one of the biggest things that stop people in their business or stop people making that career change whatever ever it is they think oh I'll do it in six months I'll do it in a year I'll do it another point because things will be easier then no life's a roller coaster doesn't work like that you just have to figure out anyway and that's what this podcast is about is sharing those sides of this like I literally do not have everything figured out I have days where you know yeah

I'm in closets crying but you know what I pick myself up throw some cold water on my face and I come and have a good yeah I literally threw some cold water on my face I'm like Danielle you gotta switch moods now you gotta like flip the side somehow yeah you gotta you gotta come out the other side of this like I could what I could have made the excuse I could have been like Natalie I can't do this like I don't want to I've had a really shit time I've had like I'm just really upset I can't do this but I was like no I owe myself better I'm not letting this stand in my way I'm just gonna be like right I get to take control of my day I get to do one step in front of the other I don't have to think about all the

podcasts that we're recording today it's actually like right all I need to do for now is put my makeup on it's what stop crying put my makeup on and get out get out there for our solo first and that's what I did I'm like right then I'll cross the next bridge and you know what when you start getting into the states you start going into more of a positive spiral now I'm like my mood now is so different to how I was like two hours ago I'm like completely different state but it's like you choose not to make an excuse you choose to take control and you choose to get on with it yeah and I can't emphasize enough the power of having a business partner you guys because Danielle came out and I'd already I was prepping stuff I was like oh I already prepped for that we're good I was like moving around like I was already going and I know I just needed to tag

Danielle in and it was the same for me a few weeks ago I don't know if you remember when I was also in LA and I was having a really bad day and I'd been crying I was in a shitty mood I didn't but we had a coaching call and I knew there was women that we really needed to really bad day and I'd been crying. I was in a shitty mood. I didn't, but we had a coaching call and I knew there was women that we really needed to show up for and I needed to pull myself together for, but I really wasn't feeling it. I remember you being like, you know what?

I'm going to take the lead on this one. Just be present, just show up and you'll slowly get into it. And I did, like Danielle opened it, she kicked it off and all of a sudden my mood changed and I was like really able to see why I was then, what I was showing up for, who I was showing up for and got out of my own way.

But that's always gonna happen. But I am definitely grateful that we have business partner. Again, another big reason we create the site because I don't know that, well, I actually do know a hundred percent we wouldn't be where we are today without each other. Like we are great individually and we are a force together

and even yesterday we were doing all this brainstorming and like one of us has a blind spot the other person's got it covered or if we don't the other person's like you know what i'm gonna take that blind spot i'm gonna go and learn how to do it you take that one you go learn how to do that and we divide and conquer and it's not even saying that you have to have like a business partner like I think businesses can be successful but you do need somebody who you can turn to when things are rough and like even with our friends Sarah and Anna who are coming on later you know there's times where it's like do you know what I just need that friend to turn to and I think that's also what the society has created like there's so many people in there they're not sitting in business together but it's like oh do you know what I have someone who also what the society has created. There's so many people in there. They're not necessarily in business together.

But it's like, oh, do you know what? I have someone who also has their own business that gets the situation. Or also have someone that is an influencer. Or also have someone that is doing the similar thing. No one else in my family or friendship groups in school is doing that. But I have these people that now get me. And I can bounce ideas off. Or I can share this problem so that I can move through it and there's so much there's so much power in that you know business and entrepreneurship

can be really freaking lonely if you're not careful yeah and listen you guys if you're interested in joining the society and you're a little bit on the fence we've put together a free trial so you can actually join no obligation you can get in there and see what it's about and actually see if it's a good fit so if you're interested we'll put the link in the show notes um and you can take the the trial and see what it's about but it's a big reason that we created it you know if you're willing to roll your sleeves up get resourceful do the work we can help you shortcut that and put some amazing people around you yeah because i think you know we spoke about the roller coaster today and all those pieces, but it really makes me so grateful that I actually have my own business in times like this. Like, wow, I actually get to, you know, have a business partner that supports me versus having to drive to a job where, imagine, I mean, I would have been late this morning.

What, because of personal drama? That would have been embarrassing. So it's like, you know, you get to make those allowances and those movements to suit you at that point after you've you know put your work in but exactly okay you guys I hope you loved this episode we Danielle I really took on some of your sass I enjoyed it thanks for showing up with all that sass I know that that Leo Leo and my sign came out with a fire today are we both leo rising or no i'm no i'm leo rising you're leo moon i'm pisces moon which was why i'm a bit more sensitive than you are oh yeah yeah okay yeah love it well you guys thank you so much for listening please give us five stars on itunes

leave us a review no less yeah no definitely no less because danielle sass will come after you and share this episode if you found it helpful. Bye. Thank you.