the bossbabe podcast - 198. How to Overcome Your Fear Of Selling with Alyssa Nobriga

Episode Date: December 28, 2021

What if we told you that, after this episode, you would have everything you need to attract the high value clients you desire and break your money ceiling? You just need to get to the root of the emotional patterns blocking you, first!  Consciously, you’re putting yourself out there, but if you’re struggling to see results work in your favor, a deep-rooted limiting belief could be blocking your potential.   Alyssa Nobriga, Founder and CEO The Institute of Coaching Mastery, is here to short circuit the subconscious loop feeding your fear of failure. Get the tools to integrate your blocks, and redirect those under-the-radar insecurities about selling.  Watch this space! Soon, confidence and clients will be flooding your way.  Just imagine feeling totally fulfilled from living your life's purpose to connect and serve as a coach. With Alyssa’s roadmap–and incredible Coaching Mastery course, it’s totally possible! Listen now.  Highlights: The secret to turning a “No” into a “Yes” in sales conversations How to unlock your authentic confidence + sell without self-doubt A peek into the somatic practice proven to dissolve your fears in 90 seconds! The three things you need to unlock your next level of success What you can do right now to align with your gifts + shift your sales mindset Links: The Société alyssanobriga.com Confidence & Clients Bootcamp  Alyssa Nobriga’s Institute for Coaching Mastery  Episode 142: Your Guide To Unapologetic Confidence with Alyssa Nobriga Follow: BossBabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie Ellis: @iamnatalie Danielle Canty: @daniellecanty Alyssa Nobriga: @alyssanobriga 

You get to set your own schedule. You get to work from anywhere in the world. You get to make a deep impact in people's life. To me, there's nothing better than that. And there's no cap around what you can create financially if you are of service and really supported in getting your work out there in the world. So we focus on confidence and clients.

A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise, keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself. Confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. Welcome to the Boss Babe Podcast, a place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of successful businesses, achieving peak performance and learning how to balance it all. This episode is a good one. We go deep, like really deep. We start off by talking about how to really get good at sales, especially if you're someone that gets really intimidated by the idea of making sales. That's where we start and where we actually end up is uncovering a lot of the subconscious blocks

that hold us back from really putting ourselves out there and being able to go after goals you know achieve that massive vision that we do have in our head but might not necessarily be taking action towards and then ways that we can do our own you know personal development work around it we are joined by one of our closest friends, Alyssa Nobriga, and this episode is really, really going to be a good one for you. You know, you're listening right now towards the end of December or early January, and that tells me that you're really motivated to crush 2022. You're looking to make a change or you're really looking to scale from where you're at. So this episode is going to be a really, really good one. Before we dive in, I have a couple of things to let you know.

If you're not in the society yet, you need to be. The society is the place for female entrepreneurs to connect, build, and grow. And what's more, January's masterclass is actually hosted by Alyssa herself. And she is teaching everything you need to know about making high ticket sales. Like you name the price, she's going to teach you how to build to sell it. And she's not just teaching you how to sell it, but she's giving you demonstrations of sales calls and giving away sales scripts and talking about the kind of confidence you need to execute on a sales call like that really, really confidently. It is incredible.

I learned so much while being behind the scenes while I was filming this success kit. So you really, really need to get in on this. So if you're interested, you can head to bossy.com forward slash membership or click the link below in our show notes and you'll be able to access that. It's incredible. The value you get for $35 a month is a no brainer. And if you haven't already caught up on December's Masterclass with Danielle Leslie, you get to. Danielle talks about how she scaled from zero to making $20 million in sales from one course. One course. You guys, 2022 is the year that you get to really go after your massive goals. I know you have them. And so take advantage of all of the incredible information

that's in the society. We bring people that generally charge thousands and thousands of dollars per hour for their time. We bring those people to you. We craft these incredible, highly produced masterclasses and bring incredible guests onto calls with you so you can actually ask them questions. So that's the first thing you need to do. Secondly, if you're listening to this episode and you're really interested in the certification program that Alyssa's talking about, there's a

couple of options. Alyssa has an incredible free five-day bootcamp. So if you want to get a taste of the kind of work she does for free, that's a really good place to start. You know, I always think it's a good idea to dip your toe in with a coach and see if you really resonate with the way that they teach. And so I've left the link for her book camp below in the show notes. But if you're just like, you know what, I've heard enough and I know that her certification program is what I need to really supercharge my career in 2022, if you are wanting to get into coaching or level up coaching skills, then I've put the link for Alyssa's certification below. It's incredible. You know that Alyssa is one of our close friends and we've had her on the podcast and in the society so many times before because we really,

really know her work. We also partnered with her in the past to create a mastermind and just create the most transformational six weeks together. So I'm really excited. I actually teach business inside of Alyssa's certification. That's how much I trust everything she does. So I just wanted to put that out there. And with that, let's dive into the episode. It's going to be a really, really good one. Alyssa, welcome again to the podcast. I no pressure but your last podcast which we'll link below was one of our most popular podcasts ever ever and so we want to kind of jump in at the deep end yeah and talk about you know we get so many people coming to us saying I'm not making

sales I'm not not making money and I'll often say, well, are you asking for the sale? Well, no. And all the answers come up. And I'm like, well, if no one's knowing about what you're selling, it's going to be really difficult to make sales. But I know that sales and being a sales person or selling can sometimes be a bit of a dirty word to some people. They have those negative connotations. What holds people back from selling? I love this question. So many people think that selling feels gross because they're looking at what they can get. They're thinking about themselves

rather than what they can give. So sales isn't bad. It's just how your perspective is that's getting in the way. So it doesn't feel aligned because you're thinking about me rather than service. When you're in your heart, when you're offering to serve somebody, I call it generosity-based business,

then it feels good to you. They can feel that you're more committed to serving them than just grabbing another client. They refer you, they sign up, and your business continues to grow. And also, when you've done your work around sales, money tends to bring up a lot of trauma for people. You, if you're a service provider, and them, if you haven't done your own work. And so when you've done your own work, you can create a safe space for people to actually explore what's really underneath the fears and contraction that come up. Because usually people say yes, like they want to,

they want to move forward with working with you, but then all of the fears come up and then have them doubt to do all the research and then that holds them back. And so when you've done your own work as a service provider or a coach, you can hold a clean space for people to actually get free and use money as a path to get free. And so I've actually supported people in saying no. And that's been a profound experience. One woman, she was a no to me and I was celebrating her no. And she was so moved by my authenticity that her no turned into a yes because she's a helper in the Enneagram and she wanted to learn how to offer that type of space for her clients. And so when it's not about you, when it's truly about serving somebody and you feel so good about

the offer you're sharing in the world, you get lit up about it. Selling is service. And so the no's I love, the yeses I love. It's the maybes, that kind of gray area that's a lot harder for people and it has them loop in patterns of self-doubt. And so I'd rather coach somebody into their power and to say yes or no. Not I can't afford it, but I choose to or I choose not to. Then I know I've served them, whether they work together with me or not moving forward. And again, you feel good about it. And then your business continues to blossom. And so when you talk about doing the work around it, so you're able to be comfortable with someone's no,

as well as their yes, what does that look like? Oh, so many different things. And I love, again, I love sales so much. So it can look like oftentimes when somebody has a block towards moving towards their goal, it's projected onto your package. And when you can see that that same block is projected onto the package, it's not about you. It's not personal. And so you don't get looped up in it. And oftentimes people lower their price

when somebody is hesitant and then they still don't sign up, but it was never about the price. It's something deeper. And oftentimes I can't afford it or I don't have time or the surface level excuses. It's usually something much rooted in something much deeper. So like when you're clean and you come from this place of just offering service to unpack the maybe, again, to coach them into a yes or no, whatever their truth is, they feel really grateful for it because then not only have you moved forward in supporting them and moving through the deeper block of what it was about, but then they can more easily say yes to work with you if it was aligned. So for example, if somebody says, I want to, but I don't think I can do it. I'm going to explore that with them with permission.

Again, I've done my own work around it so I can hold a clean, safe space for them. I'm going to say, is it that you don't think you can do it? Do you think it's not worth the fee? Like what's really going on for you? And one woman I worked with, she was saying that she didn't know if she could do it. I said, well, where is it easy for you to spend money? And in the beginning, you also want to have scripts and things to really make sure that they feel it's safe to say, whether we work together or not, let's put coaching off the table for a moment. What is this really about for you? I want to make sure that you're served and that you're supported, whether we work together or not, so that they can really feel that. And so this woman that I connected with, she was like, well,

it's easy for me to spend money on my kids, sending them to high-end sports camp, but I don't feel worthy of investing in myself. So I knew it wasn't about me. I knew it was about her feeling supported around her worth. And in coaching her on her worth, then she was able to move forward with coaching. She saw what it was really about and move forward going on her worth, then she was able to move forward with coaching. She saw what it was really about and move forward going on her dreams, investing in her dreams. So it's not about you. It's about them being served. I love this. And I literally just made so many notes already. For those who are watching on YouTube, I was literally like scribbling a lot of things down because I was like, there was just like mic drop moment after mic drop moment just out. And I just

want to like recap a few of those things that you've said is saying is like selling is service. And I feel like that's such a big reframe for so many people. And I also just want to pull you back from a couple of other things that you said, which was like, I've done the work. So when you were talking just now around people being, no, to me, what I hear is like, actually you're able to hold space because you're so confident in your offer and you're unconfident and like you know what you have to bring to the table but that's not the case for a lot of people and they might have amazing products and so the lack of confidence in their offer isn't necessarily a reflection of the product but it's more of a

reflection of their internal narrative etc so for those people who have a business, who want to, first of all, you know, grow their business and they want to offer it to other people, what do they need to start in their own mindset to get to the position and to help others through it? We're authentically competent. And so part of the methodology that I teach people is about removing the things that take them away from that authentic competence that's always here and doesn't come and go. So what are the thoughts that are creating insecurity? What are the emotional patterns that hold you back from stepping into your power? So it's for me more about removal than adding anything to it. And so for example, the idea that I ask for money is a myth. You never ask for money. And when you think that way, you lose your power. You're like a little kid to your parents. Can I have money? Versus saying, I'm a professional.

This is my service and my clients are empowered to say yes or no. No asking like any other professional. And so it's removing these things that help you own your confidence. Or with potential clients, when they're scared and excited, I tell them that's exactly where I want them to be. So again, when that hesitation comes, it's not about me. It's about supporting them and moving through that. Maybe they need to embrace the part of them that feels scared and insecure, but it's not who they are. It's a feeling, not a fact. Okay. So just want to draw you back to authentic confidence. I have never heard that before. And I'm so intrigued by it. I remember you explained this concept to me. Remember remember in the back of a cab when we were

driving to spend the weekend together in Colorado. It's like, how do you get more confident? And you explained this to me and I remember my mind being blown. Yeah. Our nature is authentically confidence. There's a ground of well-being that is always here. And the insecure thoughts and the doubtful feelings and the insecurity starts taking us away from that. And so when we know the right tools to question our thoughts, to be with the emotions, the parts of ourselves that loop in this pattern of feeling self-doubt or overwhelmed, we just part the clouds.

And then we feel this sense of confidence that's here even when the mind is distracting us from not embodying it, from not experiencing it. That's what I mean by doing your own work. And as you've done that work for yourself, then you can better navigate with a potential client when their stuff comes up. It's not bad, but those are the very things that need to be looked at to help them get to their next level. And when you do that, you hold that space for them. That's what I love the most about your certification actually. It's when you're training people to be able to hold space for others, you make them do, not make them, but you have them do their own work first. And I think that's so incredibly powerful. And we can talk more about that because there's so much to say around it.

So when it comes to, you know, doing your own work and putting yourself out there in sales, what are the most common fears that you see most people dealing with? A lot of the times they think that they're putting themselves out there. Okay. And they're putting their services out there. Okay. And so when there's not your self-worth tied to your net worth, when your personal identity is not tied to your business, it's no longer this rollercoaster.

And so I do deep work around identity because if you really want to help somebody change their life, you either help them upgrade their sense of self or wake up beyond it. And as my coaches do that, then they feel their power in sales, in serving their clients. And the way that I work in the mastery method is really getting to the root. So it doesn't matter what niche. I am not really interested in counting carbs or net macros, any surface level things. I want to go to the root.

So whether it's health coaches, relationship coaches, or any topic in any listener's life, if you're working with somebody around the thing that's really holding them back the root, oftentimes it is around worth. Not only is that going to affect how much money they make, the not putting up with toxic relationships, going for better quality of life experiences. So as you coach yourself and learn how to do that with clients, that helps them and it affects every other area of their life, their health, sticking with their goals. They're not sabotaging it. And they feel this power and this authentic confidence that doesn't come and go. It's just clouded for a temporary time until they have the tools to move it.

I love that. So what you're saying is like we all have the ability to be authentically confident within us. And it's like removing the messy stuff that gets like layered on through life but we all have that knowing that's within each of us we just get to like remove the surface that clouds that i love that in every moment yeah yeah that's so powerful one thing i've always admired about you as a business woman is you started in as a therapist and you were working kind of one-to-one with clients and you've been able to scale so far beyond that to have this multi-million dollar

business with a global reach and there's probably a lot of people listening who are in the service industry where they're working one-to-one with clients and they can't really conceptualize the idea of going from charging per hour to being able to have a business of this size, but it is possible. And that's one of the things I want people to get excited about is to know what's possible when you're really good at what you do and you're ready to take it to the next level. There's so many levels beyond that. How did you start to see that for yourself and then step into it? I worked with at different stages so starting as a therapist and therapy school they never really taught you entrepreneurship

where to create clients so I just went towards the hustle unintegrated masculine figure it out myself and burn out and then I moved over to coaching and so for me a real healing is a change of behavior do you want to just share with difference between therapy and coaching? Sure. Yeah. Hang on a minute. High level coaching is about performance. It's about future. It's about goals. Again, high level therapy is about healing, removing anything that's held you back around the past. People need therapists. People don't need coaches. Coaches about going good to great. Ooh, I like that. So it's optimization. And so for me, I've learned how to create a successful one-to-one private practice and I burnt out. And so I was like, I don't want to just push harder. It's not about to really have a sustainable business. In my eyes, you need to have both create clients

where you learn how to have that masculine in an integrative way, but you also learn how to attract clients. It's more feminine. It's both feminine and masculine as energies that we all have within us. So as you have both of those, you have a sustainable business rather than having clients sometimes and then not having clients at other times or burning out. And so I learned how to do that as a therapist in, and I learned from it in a way that was like, this isn't sustainable. It's not helpful. And then I went to online marketing and I learned through trial and error and just doing different things. But I've been, and so I did courses and then I did masterminds and then the certification. So I've done different stages, but what I love, I mean, my bias opinion is that the coaching industry is the best profession in

the world because you can be an introvert and sell one-to-one and do it in your own magical way. There's a strategy behind what makes you come alive. Maybe you're a writer, maybe you love creating content. Maybe you want to scale your online empire. But when people hear from outside in, do a podcast, do a course, do a, it gets overwhelming and you don't have a map. You don't have a guide.

And so because I've been at each stage, I've designed a six figure and beyond customized signature roadmap. So it's like, what is your lifestyle goals? Everyone's different. What makes you come alive? Do you like being on camera? Do you like being more secluded in your one-to-one practice? So helping people follow what their aliveness is and then create a strategy around that. That's what makes it click. And there's a way to be successful at every level. So whether you want to do high ticket and back it with real talent, or you just want to get to six figures and feel really confident with it, or you want to build your online empire, right? All of these different ways. It's just about learning from people that have done it. You don't have to reinvent it, but you want to align with what brings you aliveness.

How do people do that though? Because I feel like, you know, as you've been speaking about it, like you say, you're speaking, like finding that aliveness for you, aligning with it. And we even spoke around like, you know, the clouds moving, but how, like how does, I know a lot of people listening are like, yeah, I want that, but I don't, I don't know what makes me feel alive. That's a good question. So what I would encourage people to do is just to start paying attention on an energy journal so that every night you start paying attention to what brought you most aliveness,

what brought you joy. And as you pay attention to the patterns, then you can design your business around that because these things are already lighting you up. You're just not aware of it. And so the first stage is to become aware. And so that simple journal for one week, every night, writing down the things that brought you will help you see it. I love being with people. Like, are you a coach archetype like me where

you love, my mantra is connect and serve. That's where I'm happiest, where you love, um, be like nurturing team and supporting people, right? Not my zone of genius. And you love marketing and content and writing. And so we all love different things. And there's a way to scale around those things so that we feel in alignment and it gives us energy. I love that. That is just such a beautiful thing as well, I think. And what I'm hearing too is like you were sharing that you've done different things along the way, which now puts you in such a unique position. And I'm also thinking about me and you, like, I felt like it wasn't clear what, maybe a little bit more for you, but certainly for me, like, I wasn't clear what made me feel alive until I tried lots of things. And I also think like

honoring that part of people's journey is like giving them, like, you have to give yourself the grace to too to like try all the different things so then you can decide oh this lights me up this doesn't light me up and we used to do that um you know when we turn our piece of paper into four quadrants and put like write down okay what are the things and we basically natalie and i both did this exercise we'd have it next to us on our desks for a week and we put in the the top left quadrant like what we loved and what we were good at and the top left quadrant like what we loved and what we were good at and on the top right like what we kind of liked but we weren't really that

good at and then another quadrant was like what we didn't like and what we weren't good at and just really like looking at those and analyzing our day-to-days and giving ourselves permission to say oh I enjoyed this but like this I didn enjoy this. I think you learn a lot about yourself when you're saying, oh, I don't enjoy that. Yeah. And I think it's great to be able to say, oh, even if you're an introvert or you prefer to do things this way, there's a way to build a business model around that. Because I think there's probably people listening who are thinking, well, I'm not very good at putting my face out there. So how could I have a successful business? Or I don't really want to do social media. how could I have a successful business? Or I don't really want to do social media.

How could I have a successful business? But I know you teach all elements of it. Yeah, and I'm living proof that every stage, there's a way to make it happen. So in the very beginning, I was profiting $300,000 with no online presence, meaning no list, no team, no social media presence. And, or, you know, social media accounts.

And then, and then I was doing high ticket, but I was really doing my own work because I knew I was my best investment and being able to do my own work, help me hold a space to help take my clients to the next level. Whereas later I went to online marketing and really learned about digital marketing and scaling with courses and mastermind groups. So there's ways that it's evolved, but just seeing that people can do it shows your subconscious that it's possible for you too. But just, I know with the online world, there's a lot of comparison that can come up. So just a hack, if you ever are comparing yourself and you feel deflated by it, where you're envious or jealous in some way, that's not bad. And so all it's telling you is there's feedback that you want what they have, but there's some misunderstanding that you're telling yourself,

you can't have it. And when you question that limitation that you can't have it, you're inspired by them and you see how they did it. You don't have to reinvent the wheel. I love that. That's really powerful. I just want to, we're going to go on a minute in a second to find out about like clients, but i just want to bring you back to that you know you did 300 000 yeah i'm curious as to how you created the money mindset that you have because that's something that i have witnessed and same and i admire that so much you know people who will listen to 300 000 and that's probably yeah it's so000 and that's very, yeah, it's so daunting. And it's like, some people won't even be able to fathom that, like how possibly, like, I just don't even understand how that's possible.

And, you know, I would love for you to share your progress through your transition of your own money mindset, because it might be easy for people to look in and be like, oh, well, it's easy for Alyssa. Like she comes from the wealthiest family and like, it's just not true. So would you mind sharing some of your story? Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know, I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother

and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible

I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash boss babe. I would say my core story and core wound was I'm not good enough. And so I filtered life through that lens. Everything that didn't happen, I'm not successful enough. I'm not good enough. And my, I was really, it showed up a lot in comparison, being in communities that were very successful in comparing myself and feeling, again, not good enough. And so I and my methodologies change from the inside out.

Because if you don't do the inner work, you're going to be creating a strategy on a limited lens. Because the mind, the ego, if you just replace the pattern, the ego is going to replace one negative thing with another. So you want to work it out the route to unravel it. And so first become aware of what the conditioning is within us so that then we can move through changing it. And so for me, it took some time to do money mindset work. And it's absolutely part of what's important to have a sustainable business. And I remember my dad was in town. This is great. So for people that are interested in this work, take a journal and find out what did I learn about money from my mom or my female caregiver? And what did I learn about what money was from my dad or,

or male caregiver or other care, maybe a grandmother or someone and start paying attention to what the subconscious programming was that you inherited. So money is safety. Money is safety. Money is freedom. You have to work hard for money. All the narratives that we bought into. And I remember one week my dad was in town and I was with my husband or my boyfriend at the time and my dad. My husband has a very abundant mindset. My dad, I think, has a very grounded, typical mindset around money. And so I was at this like raw vegan restaurants and that's one of those that you go up to the counter and order it. And I was just happened to be

looking at this journal where I was just tracking down and thank God my dad was in town because he was nearing to me and showing me what my stories were that I inherited from him. And so I go and I sit down and I look at the menu and it's like some chocomocca wacca, some goodness. And I was like, that looks delicious, but like $16, I don't need it. And my husband looked at me and he just smiled and he walked up to the counter to go get me this chocomocca wacca. My dad is passing him with a piece of raw vegan cake. My dad's like, this was $16. And I saw the old consciousness in the new, like life has a sense of humor. So I started looking at, okay, outside of my conditioning,

what else is true? And so first seeing these things, taking a journal, if you really want to go faster, slow down, pay attention to your programming, write it down. And then you can question each one of those beliefs in stillness. That's mindset work. I think mindset work is sexy and fun and good to create quick wins. But if you really want to go deeper, you want to learn some other tools. If you want to do embodiment work, you want to do unconscious reprogramming, some other ways to work within yourself, or if you're a service provider, a healer, therapist, or coach, having a toolbox that stretches the range to work with a variety of types of clients. Because some people need fire self or if you're a service provider, a healer, therapist, or coach, having a toolbox that

stretches the range to work with a variety of types of clients. Because some people need fire and some need water. Some are stuck in their minds that they're very anxious. They need somatic work. Others are lost in their emotions. So they need to learn mindset work to see what was the thought that created the emotion so that they can start to reprogram it with themselves. Like I'm all about empowering people to learn the tools on their own. Because as a therapist, I kept thinking, why don't we learn this in school? How to deal with our thoughts, how to deal with emotions. How is it that we learn about money from our parents? Like good luck, you know? Why don't we learn about investing in things like this from in school systems? And so taking our

lives in our own hands and learning the tools to really hack things, it supports us in living a better life, but then we can be of more service as a mom or a friend or a colleague, a boss, but we start with ourselves first. So just one way to create awareness is taking a journal to become aware, slowing down and becoming aware of what are those stories that we've been living out of. And just one real quick one. I remember when I was doing this journal, I had taken my car to an automobile just to get my oil changed. And this guy calls it the same week. So I was only paying attention because I was slowing it down. And this guy calls me up and he says, I changed your oil. You also need X, Y, and Z on

your motor. And I heard this thought, they're taking your, he's taking your money. And I got curious and I said, thank you so much. And I hung up the phone, I'll call you right back. And I'm like, I wrote it down. He's taking my money.

I'm like, where did that come from? And I realized, somebody told me, you can't trust auto mechanics. No, women cannot trust. Yeah, they always take advantage because you're saying that.

I'm like, I literally have that exact same thing and it also played into, it actually was true for me once and then it stood with me even longer like they made me the quick fit which is a company in the uk they like replaced all of my like caps and stuff and made it like 40 dollars and 40 pounds which was expensive for me at the time way more so then that was reinforced and now

you're just sharing that like oh i'm still I'm still carrying that. This is a narrative. It's a social narrative, right? And so for me, I felt it in my body first, because your body is going to give a contraction and everything in life is showing you where to get free, by the way. So use everything that contracts you to free you. And so I was doing this practice, becoming aware of what the programming was. I felt the contraction, wrote the story down, and then I investigated it. I said, he's taking my money. And this is my investigation. It may have been different in your situation. And I was like, he's not taking my money. He did his service. He called me, empowered me to say, I went above and beyond. I see this other thing you need, but he didn't take my money. For one, I hadn't paid him. For two, I was empowered to either shop it around to other services to say no or just say yes.

So he wasn't taking. But these subtle ways that we've lived out of rob us of our happiness because we're living out of a programming. And so I felt empowered to say, okay, go ahead and do the service because it wasn't worth it for me to shop it around. So let me just understand this a little bit better.

So you heard that, you're like, hey, I'm just gonna bring you back. He's like, okay, whatever. Then you go to your journal and you write down, okay, when he said this, this came up for me. You think, sit back for a second. You think about, you ask yourself, where did that come from?

I asked, where did it come from? And then you journal? And then I said, can I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is accurate? Is he taking my money? And I said, no, he hasn't even asked. He hasn't given me a bill. Then I started having the insights, but you have to slow down if you want to get faster for the inner work. So good. So then you realize, so you were writing these things down. You're like, no, that's not true. Is there any like, you're just like,

oh, that's not true. I can see it now in black and white or like, is there? kind of- Yes. This is mindset work. Okay. So mindset work, sexy, fun, quick wins. It's great to have on sales conversations because potential clients can feel and see the result of your clear mind. They're like, wow, I want to work with them because they can help get me results. So there's a way that mindset works great for sales conversations. But if you want to have real mastery, if you want to help yourself or your clients get deep results, helping them really profoundly change their lives, you want to go deeper than mindset work. So at least in the coaching industry, behavior and performance was like the main thing. And it's important, but it's not. Then it was mindset work was the new thing. Now it's embodiment work. That's the buzzword. And I'm a licensed clinical somatic

psychotherapist. Somatic and embodiment are the same. So people keep saying there are new buzzwords, but my bias opinion is that you want to have an integrative framework to help yourself go deeper than just mindset. And people need different things. And so as you're able to build out your toolbox and your awareness, you have the things that you can navigate rather than getting so caught in the past. And you're not living out of programming. You're more present, productive, and free. And I want to be really clear. I had so much self-worth stuff come up, especially around success and money. That was a big core wound of mine. And yet the very thing that brought me so much pain was the greatest gift of my life. And I love helping people make money. It's fun.

Why not? But the real work is about waking up to your inherent worth and value. Because when you wake up to who you are beyond anything you do, game on. It's like no amount of money could touch that. People often say like, charge what you're worth or you deserve that. And it's got the best of intentions, but you could never charge what you're worth. You are priceless. Your services on the other hand are not. And so when you get, you really get that in your body, you can again, pivot in your business. You're off the roller coaster and you feel free. And then, you know, pandemic comes or whatever's happening in the market and you can navigate it. You feel your power. I love that so much. And I really

enjoy that reframe around charging your worth. Like the way you charge your product doesn't say something about you. And also when you said, so funny, we learn money mindset and we learn our financial values from our parents, which is great if you want to do the exact same thing they did. But if you don't, I remember the first time I woke up to that was I read a book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad. And seeing the difference in financial literacy was like, oh, there's a different way. And I think there's a misconception that you do your money mindset work and then you're off to the races. And Danielle and I had a breakthrough with you a couple of years back where you taught us the concept of upper limits because we'd done the money mindset work. We'd achieved a certain

level of financial success and we thought, okay, great. Then we're done. Why do we need to revisit this? And you talked to us about the framework of upper limits and made us both have this breakthrough moment where we realized we both had these strong upper limits and there was a reason we hadn't pushed past them. Can you explain what that is? Yeah. Oftentimes there's an unconscious ceiling that we put on ourselves for some positive intention, even though it's limiting us, it's been unconscious. And so oftentimes we say we want something, but we fear it unconsciously. 95% of our behavior is from the, from the unconscious. That means only 5% is the conscious mind. So we say, I want this,

but then we're really pushing the brakes unconsciously because we have a fear about it. And so once you remove the fear, then you, you align and then you create a strategy from that and you can skyrocket. So for example, if it's like for your audience, so it's like, if you have a fear of making more money, maybe unconsciously, and you have to again, get still, maybe that's like, well, if I make more than my partner, we won't be together or I'll emasculate him. Or what would that say to my parents?

You know, would I still belong? Would I fit in? And so you want to really unravel those things. And I usually do that in the beginning of a package. And this is New Year's. So it's like, while you have your New Year's resolutions, just explore what the fears are you have around your goals so you can clear those. And then you're unstoppable. Then you don't have these limits. And so part of this, and sometimes around creating offers, and if there's anybody that's curious about how to create a really irresistible offer that serves, one thing that I'll ask my clients

in the beginning, and I'll coach coaches around doing this, is to say, if you were to fail at this goal, how would you do it? And they'll tell you. Knowing yourself and your patterns, how would you do that? And then in the beginning of your work with them. Help design a package to support them in moving through that. So this year it's like, okay, I want these things. What do I fear about them? And really get still and listen so you can clear those fears. And then also ask yourself, how would I fail at this knowing myself? Maybe you start off strong. It's like a firework and it fizzles out. So you want to create some type of an accountability. You want to gamify it. You could do it with a coach, a friend. Maybe you put like a hundred dollars or a thousand dollars in a pot and whoever doesn't do it around. Typically,

there's something called the three-month Dalton dip. And so it's what I just named it, but it's oftentimes you can see it in membership sites. You can see it at the gym. It's human behavior around that point to start falling off the track. And so in your own goals, or if you are a coach doing this work, you want to design your packages to help pull them through that. So you can then have accountability partners, self-care routines, a challenge, give them some type of a win to get them re-engaged at the time that they want to pull out and they want to pull away. So good. And I remember when we did our mastermind together, you told us about, you were like, ready on the three month mark, we've got a downtime dip and this is what we need to do.

And it was so fascinating to see it all come into play and how that worked. One thing you mentioned was, so you get clear on those fears so you can clear them. Is the idea you just bring awareness to them and you can clear them? On the mindset level, yes. Bringing awareness to them, first writing it down and then questioning it. Okay. Questioning it in stillness. The ego hates it when you're still and specific. So it's going to keep it general. I'm scared of what people are going to think of me. I don't want to go on Instagram because people are going to judge me. Well, who's going to judge you? The more specific you get, the harder it is for the ego to sustain the illusion of itself.

So get specific and get still. It hates that. So writing it down and then questioning it in stillness is really powerful. That's the mindset work. With the emotional realm, you want to learn how to be with your emotions. Imagine that you're a parent and you're being with those parts of you to embrace them, to hear them. What I find people do inaccurately is they cheerlead their emotions. They're like, get out of girl. You can do it. You don't need to feel that way. And it's like got the best

of intentions, but it actually emotions and thoughts don't speak the same dialect. So you want to energetically get on your knees to be with the part of you. That's like, I really hear that you're scared. Tell me more. I'm here for you. You don't have to be any different, but you also don't want that part to make decisions for your business and your life because then you're going to stay in your comfort zone. But your comfort zone is really your familiar zone because the unconscious thinks what's familiar is safe, even if it's not. You think about, and psychology, you think about psychology. If there was an unfortunate situation where a young girl is abused by her father, she'll most likely attract somebody that abuses her as a

partner later. It's not necessarily good for you, but the mind is scared of the unknown because it projects fear into it. And so one hack emotionally is to embrace that part of you. When you find that you're wanting to make a decision and it feels uncomfortable, then you want to embrace that part of you because it's going to create new neural networks and you're going to start to nurture yourself. But you can also use visualization as a hack to overcome that because the body doesn't know the difference between thought and reality, fantasy and reality. So you can use visualization, and I love manifestation, all these things, but you want to do the deeper work first and then place those things on top of it. So use visualization to make it so that it's clear that what you want is natural.

Your body, your nervous system is comfortable with it. But learn how to embrace that part. And then also in the emotional realm, it only takes 90 seconds, or let's talk somatically. It takes 90 seconds. Somatic means soma, the body, so embodiment work. It only takes 90 seconds to feel a sensation in the body before it moves through. And so most people think a thought, creates a feeling, creates a sensation in the body, but then they keep ruminating and looping in their minds trying to avoid it. And if that worked, I would be all for

it. And it doesn't. It just takes the anxiety with us and it holds on to this intense sensations in our body. And it's almost like we have all these repressed memories and energy that are stuck in the body. It's like a drawer that we open when we're triggered from one situation. Now it opens this drawer and it's not really the current situation, but it's giving us an opportunity to see it and use that to get free. That's at least my biased opinion around it. You can use it to start integrating that unresolved energy so that you feel freer, you feel lighter, and you can make more aligned decisions without all that stuff coming up. And so the somatic world is just about breathing into the contraction in your body and just find a contraction. Anybody listening right now, find a contraction in your body.

Maybe it's in your shoulder, your belly. And just breathing into that with openness and curiosity saying, I'm sorry I wasn't able to open to you before. You're welcome right now. Breathing into it. I'm doing this on the side right now. And it's like you can be here as long as you want to be here. You're welcome. And just breathing in and breathing out. And it starts to dissolve, starts to relax. And all it needs is 90 seconds and it moves on.

And so learning that the game of opposites is the somatic world, just like golf, right? You try less and it goes further. It's just about accepting it is what frees it. And not acceptance as complacent, acceptance as in you're allowed to be here because you are. And then it feels nourished, it feels met, and then it moves on, just like little kids. It's like they get sad, they get a hug, and then they're off playing again. It doesn't have to take a long time, but the somatic world is just about 90 seconds of the sensation, not the story. So a lot of people feel anxiety. So instead of saying, I feel anxious, I'm this person with anxiety, which creates more of it. It loops it. It's like, what is things, if I couldn't label anxiety,

what is that sensation like in my body? If I were to explain this to an alien, it's like, oh, it's like sparkly. It moves up up and down it moves left to right so you get more intimate with it and it starts to move through so mentally yes you question it you get still emotionally you embrace the part that feels scared you meet it and somatically you breathe into and allow the energy and we've talked about the unconscious and obviously behavioral but those are like the five levels that i work on and what what, so what, what made me think when you were going through that was when you're talking about, you know, when you, you get so caught up in the thinking in your mind that you don't go to the emotion and resist it. I think often, is it true that we attract the same

kind of feelings that because it's comfortable and what I've noticed what I noticed I had to work through a lot in my business journey was so much of my old patterning came up so much in business yeah like business was the number one personal development yes and I bet you know as it pertains to sales confidence putting yourself out there so much of it is probably people so stuck in thinking they're not going to the root to just look at it and be able to move through it. Yeah, because we never were taught how to do that, which is fascinating to me. Even can. Yes. And a lot of people, yeah, they don't know it. They don't know how,

and it's very simple, but it takes practice and it takes trust. And I say, never believe me, but test it. And a lot of people that are locked in their mind, they're scared to feel because they're scared that they're never going to come out of it. Yeah. I've been that. And then it's like, oh, if I know how to surf the wave and not get tumbled by it, if you're giving me a surfboard, you're like, here's some instructions. Cool. Game on. I can actually enjoy this wave, this ride. But my experience is the more that drawer, those same unexpressed and repent up emotions, it's like taking the lid off of a tea kettle,

just a little bit, not overwhelming yourself, just bite size within range. So you take out a little bit and it starts integrating into your nervous system. And you no longer have to keep that in your business. It's like people don't make you feel a certain way. They evoke, people in situations evoke patterns that are already within you. And so it's like they knock on the door, but that pattern opened it. And so as you get to the root and you fix or heal that part of you, they knock and no one's home. You're free. And so I try to help people use everything in their life to help them get free.

And then it's no longer about how do I manage my business so that these things don't happen? Yes, you can do that. But first address what the real thing is about, which is inside of you. And as you do that, then you're more successful and strategic in managing your business.

I love this so much. So for people listening who are hearing all of this and are thinking, okay, I really want to lean more into this work. And they are probably in the service profession themselves or they're thinking about their culture, they want to go deeper. In your certification, because we kind of talked about it a little bit, you have them do the work. Would you say the certification is more, they're going to learn how to navigate it for themselves or they're going to learn to navigate it for clients or is it both?

Good question. I designed the certification program to give you a one-stop shop for everything you need to be successful in this profession. So it's for brand new coaches and it's for seasoned coaches. It's a customized program to meet you where you are and what you define as success for you. Because maybe you're a mom and you want to do it part-time or maybe you want to grow your online empire. Whatever your thing is, there's a way to do it, but it's designed around three main components. The first one is that to be successful in this is whether you're a therapist, healer, coach, and maybe this is all brand new. We hold your hand through it, but you need to do

your own work because you are your best resource and asset in this profession. And you don't have to be perfect. It's just about being a few steps ahead of those that you're serving. And you can trust those that you're attracting and you don't have to have a budget to start making money really quickly. And I'll teach in the Confidence in Clients Bootcamp about how to create clients for free right away. And I'm going to do that in January here. And that's free. And that's free. Yeah. And then you get a taste of it and you can see, oh, I could do gifted sessions. Oh, I didn't even realize that. That person that I know in my world talks about their boss or their partner. And I could offer, and again, it's generosity-based business. I could offer a session to them as a gift and that's a way to do good, but it also is strategic. Or I could have

them bring a friend to this workshop or to this online event that I'm hosting. And that grows your audience again, organically. I love how much you teach resourcefulness. Yes. I have always thought that about you. The way you can teach resourcefulness and the way that you see what's possible with people getting clients. You are one of the people that has really taught me that attracting clients is possible. Because I think if I'd heard that term before I'd met you,

I would have thought that's probably not true. Oh, that's totus pocus. That's never gonna happen. You do it. And the way that you're so resourceful and teach that resourcefulness, it blows my mind. I just had a sweat. Thank you. Can we cover a few more of those? Yes. I feel like a lot of people, like, you know, you started off by sharing this journey,

you did 300,000 profit with no online audience. And I was actually just talking inside our community, the society the other day. And I was like, look guys, social media is absolutely amazing for driving sales. And it's not the only way. So please don't start thinking that's the only way into the top of a funnel. There are so many different ways. So do you want to share a few more of those? Absolutely. And if you have a social media presence, there's a way to utilize that to then bring them into deeper conversations. But the best marketing is really seeing and hearing people. So you can do that in DMs. You can nurture those relationships. You can do that in lots of different ways. I really like having a regular workshop where you're hosting and having

them bring a friend. It's building authority. It's really practicing your craft before you scale it with an online course. So in the very beginning, it's easiest to start with one-to-one clients and then move into live experiences, same topics, you're refining your offer, and then you can scale it online if you want. And some people don't want to, and some people do, but you can be an expert in other people's communities. So let's say you are your niche and you don't have to have a niche unless you're marketing online, because you don't have the benefit of hearing from somebody first to tailor what you do and specifically how you will support them. So wait, am I hearing correctly? You can be successful without a niche. You do not need to have a niche. I think you're speaking to people's

souls right now. So many people get caught up on this. I actually recommend you start without one. Do a little market research. If you're like, I'm really clear, I want to have an online empire and I love Boss Babe and I want to do what they did. So just market research and interview those people to make sure that your offer deeply serves them. And it's covering all the holes before you scale it. And what I typically recommend is start offline with, you know, you can have an online presence, but then you're really nurturing people through providing value. You're demonstrating it with workshops and you're dialing that in. But for example, you just have to be more strategic. So let's say you do have a niche, which is harder, and you're doing offline marketing. What you can do is you can say,

say you are a coach for new moms. Then you think about where are new moms? How do I get in front of them utilizing other people's audience? Oh, there's the breast pump clinic. Oh, there's the nursery I could go to. I can offer a workshop to those communities, align with the people that own it. So you're an integrity. I do not recommend going to Facebook groups and like pitching your services. All that feels really gross. Get into alignment and actually serve their audience. Or you could say, I'll offer a X amount of percentage to any sales that I create from your clientele and make sure that you align with that audience and that they align with you. You can also, there's practical things that you

can do for free right now. I'll share a story. I had a gentleman call me to work with his daughter and I was like, your daughter's 23 years old. Why are you as her father calling me? I think you should come in. So I not only coached her, but I coached him on his codependence and his enabling her. And so he got it. But I also coached her to say, I'm not going to be talking to your dad about you anymore. I'm going to empower you to actually have adult conversations. So clients are everywhere. If you're thinking strategically about how you can put yourself in front of others, providing value, doing what you love. And I love resourcefulness because if I help you tap into your resourcefulness,

you don't need anything else. It's the number one thing. You feel your power no matter what's happening in the economy or a pandemic. You're like, I got this. I can pivot. I can figure it out. And you feel secure in yourself and in your business. Yeah. It's truly, I think, one of the best ways of growing a business. You need to have resourcefulness as an entrepreneur. Yes. Okay. So the three things that you need to really be successful. One is to do your own work. The second is to learn how to masterfully facilitate others. And if you're brand new, then you shortcut the learning curve. If you are experienced, then you get to more mastery and you can back higher fees with real talent and you feel good about the offer that you are experienced, then you get to more mastery and you can back higher fees with real talent and you feel good about the offer that you're creating, the value of it. And then the

last thing that you need is how to grow a business. So either it's starting or scaling your business. And so the entire thing is customizable so that you have what it is you desire, not what I think you should have, but I'm going to give different strategies and I do break it down around, if you want this, these are the handful of things to focus on to get you results. Don't try to do all the things. I highly recommend focusing on one new goal every 90 days, every three months. And by facilitating, you're talking about how you take your clients through the transformation. I do see this trend a little bit where coaches are labeling themselves coaches without actually any training at all.

And I think because the industry is not as tightly regulated as other industries that are regulation, it's out there, just not everyone dares to remember, not everyone knows, the customers don't, or the clients don't necessarily know to look to them. What are the, what are the what are you because I know you've honed your craft so much and even just this session like session because I've sat here a little bit more quiet than usual because I was like

oh I've got a lot of work to do right now she's really holding up a mirror to me like well yeah I definitely need to go around around the goals pieces so I'm just like you know I'm saying this and Jess but I really feel like you know one thing that you do in that program is really bring out talent in your coaches yeah because they have the right intention but a lot of them don't have the skill set so what are some things that you're covering in helping them get the skills that they need so that then they also have the confidence when they are coming to. That's right.

Selling because they know their service is good. That's right. Yes, that's right. So not only is the Institute double accredited, the ICF and the AC. So I want to make sure that people know that they're held. This is a professional training. It's a people's lives change. I spent 18 years of my life's work as a psychotherapist and leadership and business coach and put

everything into it. So I, and I see the results that they get. But when you do your own work first, you feel authentic and you can confidently navigate other people going to the root, meaning the same emotions come up for every human. They're the same common ones, perfectionism, self-doubt, people-pleasing, all the things. I always say life is the real coach. As you learn to use your life, it'll help you evolve and grow, and you don't need to be perfect. And the best thing is, is like so many people are doing amazing without these tools. Imagine what's possible

when they learn some of these simple and basic profound tools, they become better parents and in every other area of their life because they've gone to the root. It's a positive ripple effect. That's right. That's right.

Yeah. And it's global. It's all around the world. So we do a 10 a.m. and a 5 p.m. Pacific call so it's customized to their schedules. But truly this work, you get to set your own schedule you get to work from anywhere in the world you get to make a deep impact in people's life to me there's nothing better than that and there's no cap around what you can create financially if you are of service and really

supported in getting your work out there in the world. So we focus on confidence and clients. And this is primarily, like you say, for people who want to be coaches. Yes. Can people just do it for themselves? They do. Because I know that you have people who have done it repeated times. Yeah. Because they, you know.

And they're not going into the coaching profession. Yeah. And I'm listening to this thinking, oh, I should probably join this cohort. We need to sign it together. Yeah. We need to sign it together. It's just really interesting, this work, I think, as well, because it is that positive ripple effect. So much of the work you're teaching, kind of the two,

I guess you're breaking it down into three, but there's two pieces before you're getting to growing that business. It's actually really that self-work, which if I think about coaching, yes, you can coach and you're getting to like growing that business it's actually really that self-work which you know if I think about coaching yes you can coach and you're paid to be a coach but for us as entrepreneurs or if anyone's in the leadership position or managerial position in their place of work coaching and understanding how to bring the best out of people is a fundamental skill set and I think that's like, you know, it's empowering to think that, you know, so you don't have to become a coach after this with a label, but you can learn

to coach people through situations and circumstances that helps them, you know, come out stronger and better in the end. Absolutely. Yeah. And there's a lot of leaders. There's a lot of real estate agents, artists, other people that just are craving a deeper way of living and feeling more fulfilled. And so really it's about focusing on yourself and then how that shows up in every other area. And it helps with the business around creating clients. So if you are in any type of profession where you want to create clients, you can plug in the same thing. But I, a lot of people that are therapists trust me because I've walked that path. I have integrity in the work. And no longer, you don't have to prove that. You don't have to try to tell it. You embody it and people feel that. And so just coming back to

sales, it's about energy and strategy inside and then out. It's never about convincing somebody. It's offering deep service, inviting them in. And when they're ready, they'll feel it. And you know how to navigate in service to them really getting results, not just working with you. And they feel that and your business thrives as a result. And fun fact, I'm in their teaching social media. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. So if anyone joins, you'll see me pop up in there. Okay. so just to give some clarity on the two things. So if someone's really ready to jump in two feet and they know that they've been looking

for certification like this, they're either going into the coaching industry, they're in the coaching industry, or like you said, Danielle, they're in a position of leadership where having those coaching skills would really help them level up. The Institute's the best place for them.

Yes. And for someone that is not fully there yet, but really wants to explore, or maybe just wants to get more of a taste of your work, you have Confidence in Clients Bootcamp. That's kicking off in a couple of weeks. Can you tell us more about that? So it's all, I'm giving actual behind the scenes tools. So the same way I designed the Institute is the same way I designed this bootcamp. So them, everybody doing their own work and then tools that they can use with their clients. Like why don't people create change? We start there.

Where do you find clients? What are some other embodied sales tactics and hacks that you can use on yourself right away? So it's actionable, practical, and it's free. Live for five days. Yes. And I'm going to bring, and I'm gam five days. Yes. And I'm going to bring, and I'm gamifying the whole thing. So I'm going to bring people on. So I'm going to share with you coaching sessions. So not just tell you, but also show you. Wait, so you could get free coaching?

You could get a free coaching session with me. And I do group processes as well. And I give tools so people can experience the work, whether they want to continue or not, but this is just my give back. It's a way to be of service. Okay okay so we're going to put all of the links below we'll put the links for the boot camp and also for the certification program so i'm really really excited about that what lights you up the most about doing this work because i see how look at her eyes really if you're watching on youtube this is the this is how a woman looks when she's doing her like living her life's purpose and can i just say i'm just gonna interrupt but i literally witnessed this remember we did an event together

in like 2019 yeah and i remember seeing alyssa on stage the first time and she's like a goddess yeah angel on stage and i was just like this woman is living her true like she's just in full alignment right now yeah so sorry it was. What is it that lights you up so much? I'm living my values, connect and serve. And I know that this is the greatest way I can be of service in the world is helping people up level themselves. And yes, the coaching industry is growing fast, but you're, there's going to be a tipping point where only really good coaches sustain. And I know that this program changes lives. So it feels like a love letter back to people. And I know what they're about to open

when they experience this work. So it is my true privilege and honor to get to witness people wake up to themselves. Their entire life changes from that. So that's my gift. I love that. Well, Alyssa, thanks for coming on here again. I know this is going to be yet another one of our most popular episodes. Thank you so much. Where can

everyone find you? They can find me at AlyssaNobriga.com or AlyssaNobriga on Instagram. Love it. I love that. Thank you so much. And if you are watching us on YouTube, I'm going to link to another episode that N Natalie and I did just recently on confidence too. If you enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you subscribed and left us a review. Let us know what you enjoyed, what your main takeaways were, and who you'd like to see appear on the show. As a special thanks, we'll send you a copy of our Boss Babe 25. Now, this is an awesome resource. It's the 25 essential things that you need for personal and professional growth. We've included everything from must-have products to books to rituals. This guide literally covers it all, and I know you're going to love it.

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