the bossbabe podcast - 20. The Money Mindset Episode: From Being in Debt to Owning a 7 Figure Company, Rewriting Financial Limiting Beliefs & Stepping Into Your Highest Self With Emily Williams

Episode Date: July 3, 2019

In this week’s episode, BossBabe Co-founder Danielle Canty interviews Emily Williams: Hay House author, leading Success Coach for female entrepreneurs and Founder of I Heart My Life Now. Together they dive deep on rewriting your self-limiting, pre-conditioned beliefs around money, how to take inspired action on your big ambitions and overcoming the fear of success. Emily shares her journey on how she went from broke and in debt to thriving in a successful 7-Figure business. She expands on how to break through false backstories and flawed money mindsets that hold goals hostage and keep you from moving forward with your dreams. This week’s episode is brought to you by Hum Nutrition. Hum Nutrition is the vitamin company disrupting the beauty industry and is all about making you look and feel your best. Get started with your personalized recommendations at humnutrition.com/get_started and use the code BOSSBABE for 20% off your first order of US$29+

If you have a desire, if you have a dream, then you're meant for that. And it's just a matter of figuring out the how and figuring out the steps to take to make it a reality. When you start to recognize that success is your birthright, making money is your birthright, being wealthy is your birthright, and that you are capable of massive wealth, then you're going to put yourself in the game. Hey, and welcome to the Boss Babe Podcast, a place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of building successful businesses, achieving peak performance, and learning how

to balance it all. I'm Danielle, your host for this week's episode and co-CEO of Boss Babe. Now this week's podcast is one for you if you've ever struggled with your money mindset, if you've ever battled with rejection and sales, if you've ever wanted to change the course of your life's path but actually not known how or even what you wanted to do because in this interview I'm joined by Hay House author Emily Williams who shares how she went from not knowing her life's purpose, broke and in debt, to creating a seven-figure business. Emily shares the ups and the downs of that and what she had to change in her own mindset to make that happen, even addressing some of the things that happened in her childhood. I personally think it's really easy for a lot of us to underestimate

the value that we can bring to the world and I mean that with respect to time, knowledge and the monetary value and so I'd love for every single one of you to walk away from this episode believing in yourself that little bit more and understanding that you are totally worth it and your dreams are really worth pursuing. So for this episode I'm choosing one of my favorite Boss Babe quotes and it's this, know your worth, add tax and never discount. I really hope you enjoyed this interview, It's really interesting. So if you love it as much as me, I'd love for you to leave a review and tag us at bossbabe.inc so we can share. Now, just before we launch into the episode, I want to tell you about our sponsors, Hum Nutrition. company completely disrupting the beauty industry right now by focusing on preventing concerns and long-term care and repair rather than just damage control and cover-up which is something I really

relate to as I battled my skin for many years and I now understand that not only do I need to make sure what I put on my skin is good for me but the supplements that I take to support my insides are just if not more important to my beauty regime. So to that end, Hum Nutrition have developed over 30 innovative and ultra-specific formulations that work from the inside out to support clear glowing skin, boosted energy, fuller hair, flatter stomach, enhanced mood and a healthy body. All ingredients in their line of supplements, powders and gummies are backed by clinical results. They're sustainably sourced, non-GMO and free of soy, gluten, artificial colors and preservatives and they have lots of vegan options

too. So to get started go to homenutrition.com forward slash get underscore started. And if you add the code boss babe, you'll also receive 20% off your first order. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise, keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself, confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. So welcome, Emily. I'm so excited about doing this podcast with you today, not only because you're an amazing friend, but also because we get to talk about a subject that is kind of a little shied away from, particularly around women, and that's money. So I know that you have an incredible story about how you changed your

money mindset and how you think and feel about money. And I really am excited to dive deeper into that because I think that a lot of our audience will really relate to this. But before we do, and before we really get into that, I would love for you to share a little bit about your story and how you've ended up in this position that you are today. Yes. Well, thank you so much for having me here. And I'm always excited to talk about money because you're completely right. It's something that more of us need to talk about and get comfortable talking about. So I'm excited to dive in with that topic today. So yeah, my story, I never thought I would be here talking to you about money. That's the first thing I'm going to say. I did not grow up thinking that this was going to be a part of my journey or a part of what I teach people about on a daily basis. So I started off just like everyone else going to high school,

then taking the next path and going to college and getting a degree in psychology. And somewhere along the way, I kind of fell into this path that was expected of me. Although I grew up with entrepreneurs, my dad and my grandpas were all entrepreneurs, I kind of just fell into this path of what everyone tells you you should do, which is go to college, get your degree, get the job, so on and so forth. But there was a point when I was actually on my way to grad school. I had applied to 12 schools around the United States and had finally decided on one in Chicago. I was driving from Ohio, where I was from, to Chicago, and I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach. And in that moment, I started crying

and my mom was driving the car and she looked over at me and asked me what was wrong. And I just told her flat out that I didn't think this was the right next step for me and I didn't think this was the path for me and it didn't make sense to me anymore. And she just sighed to herself and then literally turned the car around

and went back to Ohio. And I start the story there because that's really the moment that my whole life changed course. And I think that there's a lot of people out there who can resonate with feeling like something is a bit off or feeling like they're different. And that's really what it came down to for me, is I felt like I was meant for something different and something big, but I didn't know what that was. I just couldn't move forward with going to grad school knowing that there was something that was

that off. So we turned the car around, went back to Ohio. And from there, I entered into a major quarter life crisis where I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I ended up working at Starbucks after applying three times. And I was just so depressed. And I remember one day in particular, I was opening up the store at Starbucks, it was 5am. And my dad drove through the drive through. And he's not a coffee drinker, he never has been, but he just came to see me. And I was so ashamed that he saw me working there. And there's nothing wrong with working at Starbucks. But for me, someone who literally graduated at the top of her class, had these big dreams

of attending graduate school, had big ambitions for her entire life, as long as she could remember, me being in that drive-thru window was a sign that I had failed, at least from my perspective. And from there, I had to really start to figure out where things went wrong. How did I veer so far off of the path that I thought I had laid out for myself? And what that turned into was me starting to listen to my intuition and my heart and start to really pay attention to what I was being called to do. And at the time, I had no idea what that was, but I just kept hearing this little whisper over and over and over. It kept saying, London, London, London. And again, that was very weird to me.

No one in my family had left Ohio. No one had moved to another country. I had visited London previously and fell in love with it, but never necessarily thought I'd be moving to the UK. But that was all I kept hearing was London, London, London. So fast forward a few months later, and I just started to explore that. I explored moving to another country. I explored what that would look like and found out that the only way for me to do that was to get a student visa. So I applied for a master's in nonfiction writing because I knew I had this intuition, this feeling that I also was being called to write a book, which again, very strange.

But I applied to a master's in nonfiction writing program in London, literally moved in 2010 with four suitcases and a dream, as I always say, and didn't know anyone and literally just started this next chapter of my life there. Wow. That is such an incredible story. I'm fascinated that I think it takes an awful lot of courage to be on a certain path and then do that complete U-turn. And I just want to know a little bit more, like, how did you actually manage to pluck up the courage and be like, yes, I need to turn this car around, mom, you need to turn this car around versus, okay, I'll give it a go and I'll see what happens. How did you know that was definitely the right decision? I love that question. And I've asked myself that question many, many times,

because thinking about myself as a 22-year-old who had literally visited every school that she applied to in the U.S. and had this path laid out, I don't necessarily know how I had the courage, but I knew that that feeling was so strong that I owed it to myself to figure out why this felt so off. And in my mind, I kind of rationalized it. I thought, okay, well, it's the middle of July. Even if I go back to Ohio and give myself a week and I start to feel okay or more confident about the decision, I'll still have some time to move forward and find an apartment and move forward with the decision. So I kind of rationalized it in my mind, but obviously I never took that step. And I think that was one of the biggest moments in my life where I just started to really

trust my intuition and trust my heart. And that wasn't something I was taught growing up. I think a lot of us, we have these feelings and we do have intuition. Yet, like you said, we talk ourselves into things or we say, let's just give it a try or we doubt ourselves. But for me, intuition is one of the biggest indications of whether something is right or wrong for me. And just having that kind of faith that you're making the right decision, that trust in your gut instinct is so, so important. I completely

relate to that. There have been lots of times throughout my personal life and my professional life where I've followed my gut and there have been other times that I haven't and then look back and wished I had. Why did I not listen to myself? Okay, so you've left Ohio, you've got your suitcases packed, you've arrived in London, what next? Yeah, so for me, I started that master's in nonfiction writing program. I literally did not know anyone living in London. And so I did my best to try and make friends, but I quickly realized it was very difficult to meet girlfriends. And so I actually threw myself into online dating. And it was a serial online dater, which turned out okay for me, because I eventually ended up meeting my husband about a year later. But I did a lot of random jobs. I was in my master's program, but I was also an assistant. I worked as a matchmaker

for a while. And again, I didn't know what I was meant to do. So I just kept following these little whispers. That's the best way I can describe it. And these little pieces or moments of curiosity where I thought to myself, oh, it might be cool to be this assistant or might be cool to be a matchmaker for a while. And so I just kept following all these little breadcrumbs until I eventually discovered the world of coaching in April 2013. So literally nearly three years after I moved to London, I finally discovered the world of coaching and my best friend sent me Marie Forleo's website. I'm sure a lot of your listeners know who she is. And it was this big aha moment. Again, I know that sounds super cheesy, but it really was. I devoured her website.

I clicked on the link and spent a whole day going through it. And it was just like when I had gone to London for the first time and just fell in love with the city. I felt like this is what I'm meant to do. This is my purpose. And from there, really just started to think about who I could work with. My initial reaction was, oh my gosh, Marie Forleo, she probably has all the clients. She has such amazing hair. There's not going to be anyone left for me. And I just found myself getting super jealous. But then I realized, you know what, this is showing me what I actually want. So I started to think about who my ideal client was and realized that because I had literally been in a quarter life crisis for five years, I could help other

women who were also feeling that same insecurity or lack of clarity or lack of purpose in their lives and help them start to fall in love with themselves and their life, which is essentially how I Heart My Life came to life. Amazing. So I just want to pause the story there because I really think it's very interesting because you started off, like you say, in the student mindset. So you were a student, you moved to London, you got several jobs that you spoke about. How would you have described your relationship with money at that point in your life? Great question. It was not good. So when I moved to London, I had to get a student loan. And my parents, they had amazingly paid for my undergraduate education. But when it came to further education, the deal was that I was going to subsidize that.

And so I applied for a student loan. And literally, when I moved to London, I didn't have any money in the bank because the loan hadn't come in yet. I had a small amount of savings. And I moved into a hotel while I was trying to find an apartment. It ended up taking longer for me to find an apartment. So then I lived in a hostel for a while, then finally found this little tiny closet-sized apartment that I moved into and immediately started to rack up a lot of credit card debt because London was a lot pricier than I had considered or how I had anticipated. And I wasn't able to work more than 20 hours a

week on my student visa and working as a nanny. I loved the family I worked for, but that didn't really pay for my bills. And so I racked up a lot of credit card debt. And so actually, when I started my business, I was $30,000 in credit card debt and about $60,000 in student loan debt. And so I had a lot of responsibility in terms of that. And again, I had this heaviness around money as well. I felt like I was a disappointment. I felt like I was a failure.

I felt like I should be further along. But again, I still, I felt like I was a failure. I felt like I should be further along. But again, I still, I felt like I was meant for something big. And when I found coaching, that was really something that I started to understand could be a solution to the financial desires that I actually had. And I had a coach who told me that I could make my annual salary as a matchmaker. She said, you can make that in a month as a coach. And I thought she was crazy at the time, but I loved the sound of that, making $30,000 a month.

And I didn't know anyone, at least no one my age, who made that amount of money. But I started to pay attention to the Marie Forleos and the Danielle Laporte, Gina DeVee, and whoever else I was noticing in the online space. And I started to see how much money they were actually making. And obviously, they were having an impact as well. And so that really opened my eyes to what was possible. And I think that's very key for anyone listening. Sometimes you don't see it for yourself. But when you start to see it in other people and other people model what's possible, then you can start to develop that own belief in what's possible for you. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi.

You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business you know. Get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible i definitely recommend kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out

kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering boss babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com slash Boss Babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash Boss Babe. That's so interesting. And so as you started to think, hang on a minute, I want to look into this coaching side of things. And someone said to you, okay, yeah, you could earn $30,000 a month from this. Could you imagine what $30,000 a month would look like? Were you like completely dismissing it initially? Or were you really open to that? Because the reason I ask is I find it's quite interesting because I know a little bit about

your background story as well. And like what happened in your childhood and around what happened with your dad's business, et cetera. And I'm just wondering how that impacted those relationships with money as you were going through this crucial stage in your life. I didn't realize everything that was going on with my dad at that time. And just so everyone is aware, my dad had a really big business when I was growing up and then ended up losing it during the recession. And he had to

declare bankruptcy and had to go through that whole process. And I've also had my grandpa had the same thing happen back in the day with his business. And so after starting my business, I uncovered this family pattern that had shown up. But at the time when I was building my company, I didn't realize that that was necessarily there. And so I actually was more focused on what was possible. And I started to see that, like I said, these other women, they weren't any different than me. Yes, they were further along, but I started to compare in a positive way and started to see that if they had done it, I could do it too. I didn't know how. I had absolutely no idea how, but I think it starts with entertaining the possibility.

And then my husband was amazing enough to believe in me and he actually let me put a business building program on his credit card. So that was really the first investment that we made in the company and in moving the dream forward. And once I started to get into a program like that, I could understand the nuts and bolts of how this would actually happen. But it really started with me developing that belief in myself. Yeah, and that belief that you could do it and that you could earn more money. So it's really interesting. You actually coming at it from this point of view, even though you were $30,000 in debt, a very positive way. And hang on a minute, I think I could possibly do this. I can imagine myself doing this. I just need to know and

understand the tools to make that happen. Exactly. And there was even a moment, one day in particular, I remember, October 6th, 2014. And I was talking to my coach and I said to her, I have no time in the day. I'm working at this job as a matchmaker. I'm trying to build this business. I wish I could just quit my job. And she said, well, why don't you quit? And I said, well, I have tons of debt. I need to repay that.

And she said, well, don't you think if you get this business up and running and you have an additional 20 hours every single week to put towards the business, don't you think you're going to make so much more money through the company than working at this matchmaking job? And that was a huge moment of clarity for me. I realized the potential of this business and I'd be able to pay all that stuff off so much faster if I just put some time and energy and money into building this. It would pay off so many more times over than being a

matchmaker or working in a nine to five job ever would. Very interesting. So what happened next then? So what were the next steps for you to sign up for the course? And then was it just clients started flooding in or was a little bit more to it? There's a lot more to it. And in fact, the reason I brought up that conversation with my coach is because literally the very next day as fate would have it, my boss at the time discovered my website and she called me and she was actually in tears, which I was surprised about. And it turned out, although I had mentioned to her what I was doing and I had shared that I was building this coaching business, she didn't realize how big of a deal it was and how I was

all in at that point. And so she discovered my website and I actually ended up resigning from that job that very day. So within the span of that 24 hour period of having that conversation with my coach, I was then a full blown entrepreneur. And I wasn't scared. It was definitely something I wasn't necessarily prepared for, but I knew it was the right decision. And at the time, things had started to shift a bit. But there was definitely some really challenging periods. I mean, there were periods where I went through 54 no's in a row. So I literally had 54 sales calls, and everyone said no. And I had to really start to uncover what in the world was going on beneath the surface in terms of my money mindset, the way I was viewing sales, the way I was viewing money,

and start to really get support with that and get on coaching calls and ask for that help. And I even ended up hiring a one-on-one coach as well to try and go even deeper. And I remember in particular one day when she had me fill out a little form, a one-on-one coach as well to try and go even deeper. And I remember in particular one day when she had me fill out a little form, a pre-session form, and the questions were something like, how was this past week for you? What are you proud of? What are you excited about? And like, all my answers were nothing, nothing, nothing, because I was so down in the dumps and felt like things weren't actually happening. And the best thing she could

have said to me was what she said on our call. She said, you are the pot on the stove about to boil. You're heating up. You just can't see the bubbles yet, but they're about to appear and you have to keep going. I love that analogy, actually. I use that quite a lot in my clinic because there's so much that goes on under the surface that you don't necessarily see building up and that boiling point all of a sudden just hits and there's quite a lot that goes on before that before you see it so I really do love that analogy and I think it's a really powerful one just to kind of keep going the other one I really like to keep going when the kind of going gets tough is that whole idea of if you were driving

from LA to San Diego and you're halfway there, but it was really, really tough and you weren't sure whether you should continue. Well, actually you're halfway there. So what are you going to do? Turn back round and go back the same distance or kind of just keep going and keep pushing forwards into that next phase of it. And I love that. And whenever I'm finding things really difficult, I always think of myself on that journey and in that calm and be like, well, I can't turn around. I'm halfway there now, but I keep going.

And you know, you'll eventually reach San Diego like it's imminent. I know. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so I think this is a really crucial point because like you said, you went into this with a lot of optimism. I think this happens with a lot of entrepreneurs. They start their businesses. They're like, yeah,

it's going to come. It's going to be really easy. But I think the real test, and this is why 95% of businesses that start out don't succeed is because when they hit this test, they go, okay, I'm going to give up now. This is too hard. I can't push through it. Like it's never going to happen for me. And how did you retain that mindset? Like you say, you had 54 no's. How did you be like, okay, I'm going to do this next thing. I'm going to hire this coach or I'm going to do X, Y, and Z. Because no matter whether you're in coaching or have a product-based business, every single business I know has this exact same trouble or goes through this journey before they break out the other side. So what kept you strong in this phase? It was just knowing what I was meant for. And one of the things that's so important to us as a company at I Hurt My Life

and to the clients we work with is this understanding that if you have a desire, if you have a dream, then you're meant for that. And it's just a matter of figuring out the how and figuring out the steps to take to make it a reality. And no, it might not happen in the exact period of time that you predict it will happen. But there's always a solution. Just like Marie Forleo says, everything is figureoutable. And so I just started being very vulnerable and asking the question.

I had my website up. I had a program created. I just needed to ask and figure out what was going on. What was I doing wrong? And the first thing I started with was uncovering my own money limitations and money beliefs. And so I had this innate belief that debt was wrong. I had innate belief that making money was hard. There were certain other beliefs that I had as well that I had to start to transform and really think about in a different way.

And so most people don't recognize that we all have money programming and money beliefs that are passed down through generations or that we learn through family members or society growing up. And we bring that way of thinking into our business. And we don't realize we have to become a successful entrepreneur in order to get the results of a successful entrepreneur. And so when things aren't happening, it's because of what's going on beneath the surface, as well as the strategy and the how and the steps that you're taking. And so you actually have to look at both areas. That's one of the things that's overlooked.

It's one of the things that people pay very little amount of attention to. But it's so, so essential that you actually figure out what's stopping you from taking the action or making money or improving your sales process. And so that was the first thing that I had to do. I love that looking at both areas. And that's really, really important because I don't believe that the way you make money is just by thinking about it and attracting it. That is actually a really big part of that and being open to it because if you're not, then you can often self-sabotage. And I know that I've definitely

been guilty about it before. One of my money beliefs was money doesn't grow on trees and it's really hard. And if you're not like working your fingers to the bone, you're never going to earn any money. And actually that's completely untrue because it means that my mind is exhausted, I'm not able to focus, and I'm not able to pull out from the business and actually really look and assess what's going on. And so it is important that hold that mindset true. And I work on that money mindset. But what else is really important is then you like you said, you go in and you look at your marketing, and you look at what else is happening to bring those customers in, what is that customer journey like? I'm with you on this and think it's two sides to that story always. Totally. Yeah, I love

how you put that. And that's what I started to realize. So many of my clients, I'm sure you say this too, come with this fear of success and this belief that making money is wrong, especially if they're coaches or in a service-based industry. And you have to recognize if that's your core belief, then you're going to self-sabotage. You're going to stop yourself from making money because you don't want to be judging yourself. And so we have to work on shifting those beliefs. And when you start to shift the beliefs that making money is wrong or success is evil or whatever it is that's coming up for you, and you start to recognize that success is your birthright, making money is your birthright, being wealthy is your birthright,

and that you are capable of massive wealth, then you're going to put yourself in the game. Then you're going to show up. Then you're going to do the marketing. Then you're going to get on Facebook Live. Then you're going to go deeper on your sales calls. And so it starts with you and it starts with your internal capacity for wealth because everyone has a capacity. And so it starts with you and it starts with your internal capacity for wealth because everyone has a capacity. And so we have to start to work on that and shift it. And that's really what I did. And when I recognized my own limiting beliefs and was able to transform them, I also looked

at my process. For example, on those sales calls, I had this belief that I didn't want to be too pushy. I didn't want to pry into someone's finances. And so when they said, oh, Emily, this sounds really great. It's exactly what I need, but I can't afford it right now. The conversation ended very quickly. I was like, okay, no problem. Talk to you later.

Bye. And I finally realized through working with a coach, understanding sales process, that I needed to go deeper, not just in service to my own bank account and to our company moving forward, but in service to the client. Because when people say they can't afford it, I call BS. I don't believe that because you and me both know that we put ourselves in the game. My husband funded my business even when I was $30,000 in credit card debt and had tons of student loans. So now at this point, there's no excuse that I will buy. People can find the money. And it's our duty to go deeper with people on these calls to

uncover what is it that's actually stopping them. And it normally just boils down to fear. They don't trust themselves to make that money back or they don't know how they're going to make it back. And so it stops them from having the openness of, okay, well, let me get curious. Let me get creative. How can I find the money? So that's just one example, but that's one of the things I really had to shift in terms of the internal as well as the external process. And sometimes I think it's a fine line as well though, right? Because I totally, totally agree with what you're saying. There's a really interesting thing going around on Instagram. Something like $100 for this is really expensive, but for this, it's okay. And it's how you value where you spend your money. People say they can't afford it, but maybe they'll have Netflix, they'll have Sky TV,

or they'll be like, okay, I wouldn't think twice about spending that money on a handbag. So I think really it's like differentiating that. Is it that your mindset can't afford it, which is quite interesting for a lot of people because a lot of people don't value where they spend their money or they'll just fritter away on meaningless stuff like I have a lot of people who come in contact with who will spend money on coffees every day and like if you added this up yeah actually you could buy something else which actually is educational and you're going to be able to move forward to this it's really really interesting actually and how we look at it but also there's kind of like that fine line between going, OK, right.

What is OK to spend when you haven't got it and what isn't? And I think you're right with those people having that faith, because sometimes you don't want to be getting yourself in even more debt. But also it's like you say, how are you ever going to get out of it? A lot of debt is there created that you can't get out of it. Keep paying off and they'll keep building up and that compound interest will keep coming to the point where that thousand dollars you borrowed is now a lot more and you're really struggling to face it. So I'm not asking you to talk through like your sales call or anything, but you know, people in this situation who they're scared to be getting into more debt because they already have it and

they can't see a way out. Like how do they wrestle that balance with themselves between getting in even deeper and getting further away from it? Or actually I need to do this because this will help. Yeah, great question. The going into debt process has to be met with a plan. And what I mean by that is if you're going to be spending $1,000 on a program that's going to teach you how to make $1,000 or $100,000 or $1,000,000, clearly that's a really great investment of that $1,000. I'm not saying squander away your money, but you need to look at the ROI. And is this going to help you to make that money back? And it doesn't necessarily even have to be, you know, a business investment in terms of teaching you

sales or teaching you how to get more clients. What if it's an investment in your health? Or for example, my husband and I, we never planned to work together in our company. We do now, but we had no idea how to work together. So we invested in a six-figure relationship coach. That was clearly a really big decision, but also an incredible investment in us working well together and being able to drive this company forward and stay married and stay in love. And so you need to think like, what are you investing in? And I always make decisions based on where I want to be. So is this in service to the vision of the business? Is this in service to the next level vision of you? And most of our expenditures, like you said, yeah, Netflix, that can be fun to have your nightly TV.

But is that really going to pay back? Is that really going to support you in moving forward? Is that weekly night out with friends where you spend $50? Is that really contributing to your happiness and success? So you have to start asking yourself whether the investment is going to be paying off and if it's an investment in the future version of you. So I want to go back a couple of moments and just we touched on like what can people do? I'd love to hear your take on this. What can people do to really transform their limiting beliefs? So if they do have a negative mindset around money or they have carried

things through from their childhood and their upbringing, what can they do to change that? The first step is to identify what those beliefs actually are. And a lot of people are nervous about looking at it. But what I recommend is that you don't make anything wrong. Most of the time, our parents and grandparents, they didn't pass down limiting beliefs because they were trying to hurt us. It's just what they believed. And so we don't want to make anything wrong. You just really want to observe the way you've been thinking about money. I always think about it like taking your helmet off, a bike helmet off, putting it to the side and just start looking at it like you're taking your mind out and putting it to the side and just observe what the beliefs are that are coming up for you. And then one of the simplest ways is to start flipping the switch. And all that means is

that you change the thought habit that you have right now to the opposite thought habit. And I'm using the word habit deliberately here because it truly is habitual ways of thinking. And so just like any other habit, we can break that habit. And so you want to flip the switch. So if you think making money is evil or being rich is evil, you would just flip it to making money is amazing or I am deserving of wealth or I just flip it to making money is amazing, or I am

deserving of wealth, or I always have enough money for all of my desires, whatever the positive actually is. And for me, I just saturated my mind in that way of thinking. And what I mean by that is, if you think about someone who's trying to lose weight, there's a lot of schools of thought out there that say, replace all of the negative or unhealthy food with healthy food, and you won't miss the stuff that you're no longer hungry for. So eat more vegetables, eat more fruits, whatever it is, and you'll start to forget about the bread, forget about the chocolate, because you won't be hungry for the bad stuff. And it's the same

thing with our thoughts. If you think like right now, you have a certain playlist going over and over and over that you've been thinking that you've been listening to for decades. Now we want to replace those songs with new ways of thinking. So for me, I took all of my new phrases. I wrote them on Post-it notes, put them all around my house, put them on the refrigerator, put them on the desktop computer. I still have Post-it notes on my desktop to this day. And then I would sit in the shower

and I would listen to money mantras. And I would play these YouTube videos where the narrator would say, I always have enough money for all my desires. I am rich. I am wealthy. All these phrases. So I truly was saturating my mind in this new way of thinking throughout the day. And I still do this. I listen to podcasts. I listen to that audio. It's bookmarked on my Google Chrome here. And so this is work that never really ends. But you want to think about like you're doing an overhaul to your system, to your operating system, especially in the beginning. So you want to clear up all the muck and replace it with the positive stuff that's going to get you results. In the society, we do screensavers for phones and desktops and we do exactly the same whether it be like money mantras or like just words of affirmation just like you know speaking

to those ladies like they're strong unapologetically ambitious women and we just have like amazing so i think as many touch points as you can have to cheer you on during the day you can never have enough and i also have alarms that go off on my phone so i put them on silence silent so that it actually go off, but they flash up. And then the next time I look at my phone, it's there waiting for me. It's just that little daily reminder. So I love that. So we've got identifying beliefs and changing your habitual habits. Any others? Yeah. So I think for me, one of the hugest, I don't know if hugest is the word, one of the biggest ways I was able to shift my thinking is to really pay attention to who I was spending my time with. So you just gave a

perfect example of your amazing membership and all of your programs have such high vibrational women. And what I mean by that is so many of us don't grow up with supportive families or supportive friends, or we get into adulthood, and we fall into harmful patterns, you know, our friends going out night after night, or whatever it may be. So you have to start to think about how you can start to surround yourself with people who think in the same way as you and also help you to raise the bar on your thinking, raise the bar on what you believe is possible for you. So very quickly, like I mentioned, I got myself into that group program, then I hired a one on one coach, then I actually took it to the next level. And I invested in a six figure program that was designed to help me reach

seven figures in our company. And that was a deliberate choice. It was a very scary choice, but it was deliberate because I wanted to put myself in the surroundings and in the environment of someone who already had a seven figure business. And I wanted to put myself in the surroundings and in the environment of someone who already had a seven-figure business. And I wanted to be surrounded by amazing women who were doing big things. There's even research that shows when you go to a restaurant, if you're sitting next to strangers who are overeating,

you're also gonna overeat. So if we apply that to business, when you surround yourself with people who are doing big things, well, that's gonna enable you to do big things. You're going to see constant reminders of what's possible. And so I would say for anyone listening who's looking to transform their money mindset, look at your immediate social circle. What is the habitual way of thinking of that group of people? Are they constantly negative about money? Are they constantly complaining? A lot of people

bond over complaining, especially in the UK, I have to say. And so you need to start to get yourself out of that. Do you resonate with that? Yeah, totally. And I'd like to say it's not true, but it is. I mean, we complain about money. We also complain about the weather a lot. Well, and of course, I've lived in London for nearly 10 years. I'm obsessed with the UK. And so I don't mean any disrespect, but I do notice that. And so, I mean, it's probably the same for you, Danielle, you had to put yourself around amazing people, right? Yeah, completely. And I think that it is just really important to make sure is the average of the five people you spend the most time with, right? That famous quote, and it really is true. And I think that when you start spending time with people who think about money differently. And it really is true. And I think that when you start spending

time with people who think about money differently and think about money more as an energy that flows rather this negative thing that doesn't come by very often. And once it does come, you have to hold it tight and never let it go and have a little anxiety around it. You know, that's really not helpful. And I also think as you were saying, it does take hard work and it does take a mindset to earn money and surrounding yourself with those people who are prepared to put in the extra yards, and they're prepared to get creative around how they want to make more money. It does make a difference. It really does. Yeah. And even recently, I've texted you, I've texted Natalie many times in this last year for extra support. And having that

network has been a game changer. I mean, there's a reason why people say your network is your net worth. It's true. And you're not meant to do this alone. We see that in our programs as well, actually, a lot of people confiding, whether it's society, our membership, or whether it's the Instagram growth accelerator or mastermind people confiding in each other like-minded women particularly because like they can't necessarily say it to maybe family or their friends because they just have a different mindset on it so yeah really crucial and it's so lovely when we get a text I love the little group that we have we call it the Ritz club don't we because we all want to go to lunch at the Ritz, which is so lovely. But yeah, it makes a difference, like having these partnerships and having these friendships that you can open up to, for sure.

Exactly. So you've manifested and worked for your money. And now you've manifested a Hay House book deal. Tell me how that came about. So this has always been one of my dreams. I've always loved writing. And honestly, it's one of those things, I'm sure you have your own as well, that I would do even if I didn't get paid for it, because I just love it so much. I left my job back in 2014, went full speed ahead into the business. I was able to create a seven-figure business in my first 18 months and really have continued to grow since that period of time. And over the years, I got to connect with other amazing entrepreneurs like yourself and certain people in our industry and within my community basically opened doors for me. So I went to a book launch party a few years ago for our mutual

friend Mel Wells and her editor was there. And I went up to the editor and I introduced myself and said, I have a seven figure business. It's called I Hurt My Life. And I'm going to be one of your authors one day. And she just looked at me, she took my card. And I wasn't sure if she was going to remember me. But I just thought I would state my intention and declare it out loud what it was that I wanted. And fast forward a few years after that, and our other mutual friend, Nick Pidgeon, she sent me a message one day and said, Amy from Hay House is looking for new authors, you should contact her. And so we got in touch. This is the same woman who I met at the book launch party. And we literally met for lunch

the very next day. I wrote my book proposal over the weekend, submitted it on Sunday night, I think it was, it was the deadline, and literally had a book contract in the works that week. So it happened very quickly once the ball started rolling. Amazing. And so just tell our listeners a little bit about like what your book is about. Yes. So it's very interesting. And I'm going to share this because I think it's important for everyone to hear. The book is not the book that I had intended to write. So initially, when I wrote the book proposal, it was very strategic. It was very much a how-to in terms of starting your first business. And that's great. But the book that poured out of me is different. And the book that poured out of me is a combination of my story. So

some of which you've heard today. So every chapter starts with a snippet of my journey. So from the moment I turned the car around all the way up to very recently in 2018, and some of the challenges we've been through in our company, and I've been through personally. And then I teach throughout the book as well. So every chapter has a theme. So we have a chapter on belief, desires, mindset, action, goals, challenge, support, so on and so forth. So we go really deep with those topics in every chapter. And I share information that I've learned from my own mentors. I share wisdom that I've taught my clients and that they've taught me. And so it's very much a step

by step in terms of how to create a life that's better than your dreams. And it's perfect for that woman who knows she's meant for something big. A lot of women reading this will want to build a business, but I also really want it to inspire people who might not know exactly what their something big is. Because for me, I spent so many years in that place of confusion, that place of lacking in clarity. And so I really help people to understand what their purpose is, how to move forward with it. And that could be someone who's literally just starting out, or maybe there's a new iteration of who you are, what your business is, and you're looking to find that clarity. So all in all, it's for the woman who knows she's meant for something big, and she wants the step-by-step guide to making it happen. I love this because it's almost like

a book to yourself that you're in that quarter-life crisis for five years. I was thinking that. I'm like, this just sounds like... So what is your... If you had to give one piece of advice to Emily in that quarter-life crisis, which, bless her, was stuck in for five years. What would you say to that woman now? I would say don't worry, because you've totally got this, and it's all going to turn out better than you could ever imagine. Just keep moving forward. And I think that's one of the big themes of this book is that you have to keep showing up, you have to keep taking action. One of my favorite people, I've already mentioned her here today, is Marie Forleo. And she always says clarity comes from engagement, not from thinking about it. So just keep following those little whispers. Just keep following your curiosity,

follow your jealousy, and eventually you'll figure it out. And it's going to be amazing. Oh, I love that. So Emily, this has been an amazing interview. Thank you so much. Please tell our listeners like where they can find out more information about you. Yeah. So the website is I hurt my life.com. And then I'm always on Instagram, which is I hurt my life now. And you'll see lots of information about the book and all of our programs and all of those amazing offerings on both those places. If you enjoyed this episode,

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