the bossbabe podcast - 249. The Secret To Manifestation, Abundance + Raising Your Vibration with Cathy Heller

Episode Date: September 13, 2022

Manifesting. Abundance. Vibration. Resonance. These catch phrases are talked about all the time when it comes to the mindset you need to grow your business. But have you ever paused to think about what living your life this way would really look like?  Well in this week’s podcast episode – we’re talking about just that. Cathy Heller is the host of the acclaimed Don’t Keep Your Day Job podcast, and she’s joining us for this incredible conversation.  From living in “resonance” to understanding and embracing the unity that is this shared existence – Cathy is sharing it all. You don’t want to miss this deeply powerful episode. Listen now! Highlights: How to identify your upper limits and finally push past them – in life + business/ What it looks (and feels!) like to raise your vibration and claim the life you deserve.  The #1 thing standing in your way when it comes to manifestation. Links: Cathy Heller Presents Don't Keep Your Day Job — Listen to the podcast Don’t Keep Your Day Job Book Take the Passion Finder Quiz Follow: Instagram: @cathy.heller bossbabe: @bossbabe.inc Danielle Canty: @daniellecanty

We can tune our radio to receive abundance right now on the other side of being. We came here to create. That's our most abundant state. And you will create when you are in a high vibe. You will start to feel inspired. You'll feel a force running through you and you won't be able to help it out of nowhere. Will come an idea. And those are the ideas that feed more charge in the world.

And from there, your abundance lies. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise, keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself. Confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own vision of success. Hello and welcome to the Boss Babe podcast, the place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of building

successful businesses, achieving peak performance and learning how to balance it all. I'm Danielle Canty, Boss Babe co-founder and your host for today's episode. Kathy Heller joined me on the podcast she also has her own podcast called Don't Keep Your Day Job and recording this was one of those well you're hearing it I had so many moments where I was like damn she is speaking right to my heart this was probably one of the most pivotal podcasts that I've done for a really long time that's actually personally affected me. So right after the podcast, I messaged Natalie and I was like, I want everyone in our company to listen to this podcast.

I actually had a recording assistance from my boyfriend on this one. And we had like two hour conversation about all the things that we spoke about after this podcast. The reason it hit home for me is we really dug into the principles of abundance and what they actually mean. And Kathy said something in this podcast, which is still ringing true for me now, she was saying that true abundance is when you are creating. It's not about necessarily creating wealth, but it's in creation itself. And that was so poignant to me and really bringing me back to how can I create more how can I put

myself in a position to create and noticing the feelings that I actually get from that so I really hope that this podcast is as influential and impactful on you as it was on me I would love for you to DM Kathy and myself with your takeaways because I truly believe this is one of the episodes I've done where you're like this has actually made a huge difference and will change my life and I can't wait to hear all of your takeaways. Kathy, welcome to the Boss Babe podcast. I love you. I'm like, from the second we met, I was like, can we talk for 19 more hours? How much more time do you have? I know.

I came on your podcast and we kept just rolling, didn't we? We're like, more, more, more. Well, I'm really excited to have you on today. And when I was doing a little bit of research, I was like well what is the conversation that I want to be having and I went onto a website and you had a quote on that which I just wanted to start there because it really got me thinking and you said the opposite of depression is not happiness it's purpose and I wanted to dive into that a little bit more as to what that means for you and why you resonated so much with that

quote that you would put that on your homepage of your website. Right. See how you can feel that? See how you can intuit when something has a strong resonance? So that is probably the core of what's driving everything. I had someone on my show once who said, every book ever written, every movie ever made, you're writing the book, you're making the movie for your mother. Like our first client, our first audience, our first teacher is the pain or the lesson that we perceive being in our mom which I had never thought that thought but in this case that for sure is the is the answer to your question so growing up my parents had just a very what seemed like normal unfortunately like not a good marriage and like a lot of uh tension and struggle and abuse and

they eventually got divorced and my mom was so talented and growing up she was like in her high school yearbook she got the senior superlative where they say like most likely to succeed and most this and most that and she was most talented in her senior year and the woman who always played understudy to her as she was my mom, that was the leading role in every single musical. The woman who played her understudy, her name was Ellen Green. And when they graduated from high school, she said to my mom, let's go into New York City and let's audition. They're doing something called Little Shop of Horrors. And my mom said, oh, but I can't do that because now that I graduated from high school, I have a choice to be a mother or have a career.

And I want to be a mom. So this is where my journey is going to end. And that girl who played her understudy got the lead role in the Broadway musical. And then they turned it into a movie. And she was the lead in the movie. Wow. Little shop, little shop of hearts. Anyway, she was great in it.

And my whole childhood, I knew that story. And my mom would braid my hair and tell me that story and give me dinner and tell me that story while her marriage was falling apart, while everything was coming to sort of an end. And then she would say, I can't believe that this isn't working out when I sacrificed what I wanted so that he could go to medical school, so that he could do this, so he could do that. And then he left for another woman. So I watched her unravel and deteriorate, and I realized her gifts were dying inside of her. And I realized happiness is an inside job. And there's no way for someone to say, oh, you'll fill this.

Here, you hold everything that I'm supposed to feel fills me up. Just so out of alignment, right? And then so as a young kid watching her struggle with mental health, watching ambulances come to the house and suicide attempts and watching my, just my relation with my dad was really hard. And I didn't hear from him or know where he was for about seven or eight years. And then it was just a lot of big

questions. And so when I was in high school and other kids were talking about like where they were going to get their new whatever outfit, I was thinking about why are we here? Why do we grow up to be adults that are this unhappy? And it seems as though, or it seemed to me like you went to school and got grades so that one day you would get the job in the 401k just to be unhappy. Like none of that made sense. And I was home alone a lot because my mom was dealing with her own mental health. So I wasn't just satisfied with like watching Saved by the Bell or whatever.

I like needed to know. And so I started reading books like Wayne Dyer and Don Miguel Ruiz and Eckhart Tolle and all of that stuff. And when I went to college, I mean, I didn't even really actually get into college. I had to beg them to let me come and I went on academic probation. And so while I was there, I was like, what am I supposed to do here? And I studied world religion

and philosophy because I figured that's what I was dying to know more about. And I was like, God, I can get a degree in this. And then from there, my journey took me actually on what was supposed to be a two-week trip to Jerusalem. And I stayed for three years. And I lived in Jerusalem for three years. And I studied Kabbalah and mysticism. And that was like control-alt-delete on the program. The software program was deleted and new hardware was installed. And then from there, I had a whole paradigm shift and came to LA and started studying at the Mindful Awareness Center at UCLA,

studied there for three years, and then went into my creative career journey with a tremendous amount of just an awareness of looking at the world that was so helpful. And the aperture on the lens just widened to where I could really see reality with a capital R. And so I understood how we're all craving, like being in the stream, being connected. And so often the way we are oriented to reality, we're holding ourself apart from all that really is here. And there's a deep, empty feeling of not knowing who we are and why we are. And we identify who we are with the things in our environment rather than what really is the essential nature of our being.

I want to come back to that identifying question in a second, but going back to your childhood, because I actually went to Hoffman. Have you heard of Hoffman Institute? Yeah. So I went to Hoffman in February, which for those who are listening and don't know, it's all about your inner child and yeah you learn that when you're growing up you either adopt they talk about basically if you imagine targets and there's a center like that's your core essence and all the rings outside are like learned behaviors or shadows or all these things that maybe your parents have influenced and you get taught that you either adopt a behavior or you rebel a behavior from your parent. And I'm curious from what the stories that

your mother was telling you and seeing that, did you feel like consciously you rebelled that behavior and that's why then you went on this journey? Or was there something else that you think, no, that also led me to that journey of going to Jerusalem and trying to find, you know, the true core of me? It's 100% that. You know, you go to the gym and most of the machines that build strength are resistance machines. So I think often what we are pushing against is where we're growing the most, we're actually focusing the most. She being so unhappy and unfulfilled was such a cautionary tale that I was intent on figuring out a way to understand what I was put here to do and to

actualize that. And when I went to Jerusalem, some of the things that I started to understand is really the oneness of this infinite intelligence, right? Like the ego is designed where it thinks that you and I are separate, right? Just like if you looked at the ocean, nobody thinks that one wave is really separate from the next wave. And no one would think that the waves are separate from the ocean themselves so it's impossible but we it's interesting because einstein said there's actually 10 dimensions but we see 3d because our eye sees the width the depth and the height of things so we see this world in like a cube. And just because we can't perceive with our eyes the other dimensions, we then don't orient to them as existing, but they're 100%

existing. So time is the fourth dimension and we relate to time as linear. But on Jupiter, a day isn't 24 hours. It's actually nine hours and 58 minutes. And if you go beyond the solar system, an hour is not an hour, it's 26 seconds. And if you go further than that, it completely evaporates. So what you learn from Einstein physics and Kabbalah teaches this, which is amazing because when the Kabbalah was written thousands of years ago,

there weren't any telescopes, there weren't any instruments. But it's all written in there so what's really important is when you start to see reality with a capital r you understand a lot more about what it's right so this this infinite intelligence whether you call it god or the universe i I'm very comfortable with the word God, but some people aren't. And it's interesting with that word because in Alaska, there's 70 words for snow. They don't say it's snowing because what does that mean? Is it sludge? Is it sleet? So the word God means a lot of different things to a lot of people. So I understand when people go, oh, that's a triggered word for me. It's like, then use whatever word you want, but whatever we call this thing, that source of all, the creation, the field, the energy,

we often see people putting it over there, like the universe, as if it's over there. But God, this infinite intelligence is unlimited, which means there's nowhere it isn't, which means we are in it. It is in us. It's a video game that we are in. So when Deepak Chopra was on my podcast and I talked to him about what is the greatest reason people feel suffering and sadness and depression, he said, because we don't know who we are. And I said, well, what's the answer to that? And he said the same thing my rabbis in Jerusalem would say, which is we are the divine pretending to be a person. So we are constantly orienting to how I'm separate from you and different from you. I have this many followers, you have this many followers. You're

this color hair, I have this color hair. That is only the immaterial aspect of who we are and who we really are is in this room right now, just like waves in an ocean, there's really no way to separate your energy field from mine. And we're all part of this oneness, this loop. And so when I started to learn this at 21 years old, obviously that's why I kept extending my trip and stayed there for three years. I couldn't get enough of it. And so when I came then to LA and people started saying, why is your career just like working out? Why are you able to like manifest? That was the buzzword at the time. And I was like, I don't know what that word means. All I know is I feel like I'm in sync

with the stream. I feel like I'm in presence. Right. And so all of that started to help me to navigate. And then it's amazing the visceral response of resonance and how people relate to resonance like that. And a lot of times I think so much suffering would actually evaporate if we were more clear on who we are in relation to this whole thing. I'm getting very excited about this conversation. So, and I just want to recap on some of the things that we said, because I think this is really important because if I think about to myself,

like 10 years ago, let's say, no, actually probably like seven years ago I had the science background you know it's chiropractic school and yeah and so it's very like you know I hadn't no one spoke to me about manifestation energy that wasn't a conversation that I was having that was woo woo I'm like what but what I've learned on this journey too and I went to joe dispensers like six day advanced and relearned about the quantum physics february 2020 before lockdown which is really interesting a few months later yeah it was insane and but what i learned there and i think i want to just say this narrative because for any of you who have resistance to believing that energy exists and the whole principle of manifestation is like vibration and similar vibrations attracting each other, etc.

It's kind of bringing it down to, look, we accept that a dog can hear frequencies which we can't hear in sound. We accept that we can't see at night but other creatures can see at night we accept that there are other creatures that can see heats and they can you know they can see temperature and we can't and we accept all these things because we're taught them maybe at school but then when it comes to this next step and i don't know all of einstein's you don't theories no i don't know no i don't you know No, I don't know. No, I don't, you know? So we got on this one for today. And it's like that grounding around the fact that,

oh, like you actually, there's so much more. And this is my, this is why I think it's a great place to start because when you're trying to find yourself or you're trying to understand your purpose or you're trying to like make sense of this whole entire world when you realize there's so much that you don't know anyway and relinquish that control I think that's one of the most freeing things that you can do that then actually

sends you on a path to finding finding in quotation marks yeah yourself and really understanding yourself that true essence i think that's really true i also think what's helpful is we try to think our way to enlightenment oh my god let's do this yes and really it's more like a feeling like i don't see gravity but i know it exists when i feel a force pulling me down. Yeah. Right? And I don't see love, but I know when it's in the room because I feel a force pulling me up. And that's resonance. Yeah.

Right? So I come from a music background and I used to write music for film and TV and license songs. That's what I did for a decade is I licensed my songs to like switch to birth and younger and pretty little liars. And that was my career for a minute. And if you watch musicians before a show, if I take two guitars and they're next to each other and they're not even touching and I pluck a C string on this guitar, this guitar, the C string vibrates. It's resonance.

So everything is constantly, totally looking to be in oneness all the time. That's why when two girls live together, their cycles match. All of a sudden, like, oh my God, did you just get your period? You're like, yeah, like, what is that? Whether we're aware of it or not, our body is

tracking the circadian rhythm of the moon and the planets and stars right now as you and I sit here, because it's just one geometric pattern. It's all in resonance. So instead of thinking our way into where we need to come home to ourself, it's already done, right? What I love about the word Kabbalah and what I love about having studied it is that a lot of people will talk about the law of attraction and Kabbalah would be the law of reception. So, the word Kabbalah comes from the Hebrew word l'kabel, which means to receive. So, if I'm attracting something, I'm pulling something like a magnet that's over there, over here. If I'm receiving something, it's more like just turning on a radio. And right now, if I put a radio here, right now, in total actual terms, if I had a

receiver, I could tune to here in this room with you right now. We could listen to salsa music. We could find a baseball game being played somewhere. We could find hip hop music, but depending where I'm tuned to, that's what I will receive. That's what I will hear. That's us. We are radios. So a lot of the problem for us and in this whole thing called the human whatever this experience this matrix is we think we need to be the music when we are the radio so if if tom petty is playing or michelangelo was painting they are allowing themselves to be a radio and this thing this force is coming through them. Like Fred Astaire dancing, it's a gift. He's a radio, right?

Somebody being willing to be a vessel for compassion. You're not creating love. You're just a conductor of it in that moment. So we can remove the pressure as a human, an ego, like your ego doesn't need to come up with how you're going to prove yourself or what you're going to do. But by being available to the stream, your house is already wired for electricity. You're just going to allow yourself to be the lamp and then it doesn't matter. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run

so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients

and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet, now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial. Go to kajabi.com slash Boss Babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe like look at the people on the dais look what they even look like right esther hicks dolores cannon eckhart tolle byron katie right no one's curious about what size clothes clothes they wear because the resonance is the same signal. The Wi-Fi is clear broadband and everyone's all in. That's resonance. There's nothing that has to be proven because they're not coming to you from a place of ego. There's no codependency. There's no keeping themselves apart from the stream and trying to muscle it. So the more we just let go of this illusion of self, this false

self, this separate self, and we come into this oneness, it's amazing how quickly you receive all abundance. And really abundance, which is what everybody comes to me for, that seems to be the thing everyone says, this is what I want. I want a sense of abundance. We think the greatest feeling of abundance is actually in wealth, right? Because it feels so unlimited. And that's by the way, because we know intuitively our soul is endless and we want to feel the feeling of being endless. But the most abundant thing we actually have access to is creativity. And when we are in doubt shame self-worth that has to do with the egos need to prove we're out of the magnet we don't get a download we can't be creative open-heartedness and joy

lead to what spontaneity and the ego lets go of trying to predict and control so then creative thoughts come in because they're unpredictable a A creative thought, when I used to go to the studios, write a song, I would write something out of nothing. In order to do that, I had to stop trying to predict and be in control. So when we're in a state of receivership, we're in a high vibration, we get a creative idea. How has every single dollar ever been made in the world? It's on the other side of an idea. So really, the second that Steve Jobs came out of a calligraphy class and loved the idea of fonts and wanted to make beautiful technology, a zillion dollars was printed in the field because he had the download, but he had the download from being in a creative state and having an idea, right? That's Tesla.

That's Howard Schultz telling me the story of walking through Italy and wanting to create a place where it was just about the coffee. It wasn't about the bacon and the eggs because it was just a place for two people to have a long conversation. That was Starbucks. That's what Starbucks was. It was that story he was telling. And on the other side of that powerful resonance, which came from an idea, which came from him stepping away from a conference and strolling around Italy and then being inspired, letting his guard down. He wasn't looking. He wasn't trying to figure it out. He was just inspired walking through Italy and said, what are those people doing on the corners drinking little cups of espresso? There's nothing in the cup. Why are they lingering? And he said, no one lingers in the United States. It's like we're going for a meal or we're going to work. But what about the third place, which is just about two people? It's not about the coffee. It's not about the eggs. He said, what if housing. And that idea, 35,000 stores. So we can access, we can tune our radio to receive abundance right now on the other side of being. We came here to create. That's our most abundant state. So when people say, how do I, like you asked me, figure out my purpose, you're a creator.

You came to create. And you will create when you are in a high vibe. You will start to feel inspired. You'll feel a force running through you, and you won't be able to help it out of nowhere. Will come an idea, and those are the ideas that feed more charge in the world. And from there, your abundance lies. It lies there on the other side of letting go of control and being in a stream. I literally have goosebumps right now. I'm like, I'm checking. I'm like, is she really? No, this is like insane and so much truth in that. I want to stay in this vibration that we have now that is

creative and feels free and I also know people are going to be listening to this okay but how do I change my vibration and I know that part of the asking the how is not really what it's about but still some people like to hear a little bit about a house they know that they're in that right direction i love that analogy of the guitar strings isn't that so because it's a c and a c it's not when you vibe and you you know um play the c the e or the d didn't vibrate it's the c because they match that frequency right vibration and so then if someone knows they're at a c and they want to be vibrating at a bna and obviously you know notes on a notes very different but you know i'm trying to say like how does someone like really be aware of what frequency

that they're even vibrating on in the first place. So that's a great question. It's probably the question. It's interesting because I lead retreats and stuff and we did one a few months ago and this woman raised her hand and she asked a similar question. And I said, how much of your week, this week so far, were you feeling like 11 out of 10? Like so good. And she's like, you want the honest answer? I'm like, of course. And she's like, I don't know, like 30%. I'm like 30% of your week, you felt at 11 out of 10, like you felt a hundred percent so high. So she's like, no, no, I guess not. I said, so how much of your week are you like tuned in, turned on? You are

turned on by life. And she's like that all the way. I don't know, like a few seconds here and there. I'm like, okay, so what would you desire it to be? And she said, well, I mean, I think it would be awesome if like 60% of the time I felt amazing. And I said, hang on a second. How do you feel physically right now? And she said, good. And I said, this week, how much of the time did you feel 11 out of 10 physically? And she said, I would say like 90% of the week I felt that way. I'm like 90% of the week. And she's like, yeah, like I didn't have a headache and have a backache. Didn't feel like, like, thank God, like I feel good. I said, okay. And would you want to feel a hundred percent? She's like, yeah. And

in order to do that, she's like, I'm eating less gluten and I'm working out more. And I was like, okay. I said, do you, do you notice you didn't even say you desired to feel a high vibration 100% of the time? You said 60%. I said, would you ever sit in front of a doctor and say, I will be totally lit if 40% of the time I feel awful. If I can feel good 60% of the time. So 40% of the time, I said, if you felt 40% of the time, like you had a headache, you'd be so concerned. Why do I have a headache 40% of my days? Why do I feel nauseous? Like we'd be really worried. Your friends would be worried. It'd be a real thing. She's like, you're right. I said, so here's the deal. Thoughts create your reality. So what you just told me is you don't even believe it's possible for us to feel good

all the time. We are so practiced in memorizing. We memorize what feels safe. And because we have memorized feeling out of alignment, we are scared to feel in alignment. So let's take this further. So Brene Brown has studied vulnerability. Anyone who knows her knows that's her buzzword, vulnerability. So in her research, she wanted to know when do people feel the most vulnerable? And you might guess it's when they feel scared or angry or they are economically feeling strapped. No, it's actually what you wouldn't suggest or think. It's when they feel the most joy. Why? Because when you have a moment where you fall in love or you are

in Central Park and it's fall and you're eating those hot almonds and you're having a really cute like outfit day, you feel so good. And then you become conscious that you feel good. And about eight seconds into being conscious that you feel good. And about eight seconds into being conscious that you feel good, you get scared. You start to think, what did I just do? What if something were to happen? Woof, I just lost control. Whoa, that was scary. And all of a sudden, all the foreboding thoughts come in. Something could happen. I could break up with this person. And that starts to make your body feel safe. Why? So I just had Rupert Spire on my podcast and I was talking about this because I'm constantly, constantly, constantly looking at this because this is the heart of the matrix.

And he said, listen, your ego wants to be in control. And there's always going to be a perfect amount of contrast there's 12 hours of daylight there's 12 hours of darkness right that's just like this beautiful perfect balance actually you have an ego batman and he didn't say this but this is another piece of the truth without the joker batman isn't batman right your ego is here as an emissary of the divine because when you choose beyond it that's your breakthrough moment that's your courage moment you're not a superhero without your ego right so we all have one but your ego wants to be in control so Rupert Spiro was saying have you ever seen a moth dance with a flame of course he said what happens the moth loves the

light so the moth starts flying toward the light and as it gets an inch away from the light what does it do backs up why because the moth wants so much that light that's the heart of all of its joy that's the center of its attention but it knows if it touches it it'll die. So it backs up. So he said, your ego knows because it's constantly, an ego, right, is meant to protect you. So if a deer hears a gunshot, it goes into fight or flight. The pupils dilate, the heart rate races, you know, the blood rushes to the extremities. It's out of the magnet. It can't create, it can't repair, right? It's like, it's looking for safety. We're constantly looking for safety if we actually surrender to joy in those moments in that central park moment

you dropped your defenses and your ego goes well you just stopped watching all the gates you could get hurt go back into fight or flight so when say, how do I raise my vibration? We have to understand it's no longer about the mind. It's not about positive thinking. Your body biologically, somatically is wired into thinking that your nervous system needs to feel fear to feel safe. You have to retrain your physical body to say, you're okay in joy. You can tolerate this much joy because really, as much as people are like, well, I don't want a high vibe. You don't, you're scared in that place. You don't sustain it very long, but if you can retrain yourself, like I don't need you right now checking all the doors and exits. I can retrain my nervous system that I can be in a state of joy.

Then you can really do the real work, which is to utilize the oxygen and the life force running through you to take on the real joker, which is helping this whole matrix to find wholeness. And you can tell your ego, don't worry. When you feel good, there'll still be a problem for you to solve, but it'll be a bigger problem it won't be about scarcity and abundance for you it won't be about these constant ways you sabotage your relationship it'll be about this big giant world yeah that you'll never ever get to an arrival at because there'll always be a way to make it better and you can tell your ego that which gives it something to chew on like Like, okay, there'll still be a problem, but it's the real problem we're all supposed to

be working on. I feel like I'm in a therapy session right now because this is the funniest thing. And I mean, people in this podcast know me by now. I always like stay really, really open on what I'm going through too. And it's really interesting what you were just saying because like recently, I feel like the happiest I have ever felt in my entire life and there's things that used to bother me they don't bother me so much anymore and I feel like I've raised that thermostat or raised that vibration but then the other day it was my

birthday and I hired a mansion in Bel Air and they had so many friends over my boyfriend threw me the party i was so so happy i was like oh my god this is like the best day ever and then like partway through the night i had to go upstairs because i felt such bad anxiety all of a sudden i was like why am i anxious and what was going through my head was like what if what if the house gets what if the house gets completely like destroyed and i'm like liable for this what if what if the house gets what if the house gets completely like destroyed and I'm like liable for this what if what if someone injures themselves what if someone dies in the pool this is what I was thinking and I was like I don't know why I'm feeling like this but you have just answered it it's because my ego was like oh you're this happy but hang on you've got problems to

solve and it's like changing I I really enjoyed what you just said about, oh, I still get to solve problems or I still get to have these feelings, but they're just going to be for different things. I don't need to get stressed about being late or these what if hypothetical situations that are not going to happen. I wanted to point that out because I think in this moment lots of other listeners will have felt that same thing like oh I do do that and I do sabotage myself but not necessarily sabotage that way it's just these feet I was like why am I ruining this moment for myself with this stupid like that's what we do yeah it was so interesting yeah because you're a soul having a 3d experience in a body and your ego and your body wants to

keep you safe. And it's like, no, I'm going to be in charge. I'm going to find a way to ground you so that you don't lift off like a thousand balloons. What's interesting is people often, right? We want things, we desire things. We want more joy, we want more money, we want a better relationship. And people are saying to themselves, but I have a vision board. I want things. I know what I want. I have a clear vision, but we don't get what we want, right? We get what we are. We get that vibrational match, that resonance. So what's so beautiful is like, it can't miss you all this good stuff because you've done the spiritual work and you're just a match for it. So you're just going to have to keep learning to tell your little kid self that developed which I've been saying out loud and sharing this because it's the opposite of what we think. It takes so much humility to receive because think about it. If the ego is the arrogant part, the part that thinks it's separate from God, that's egotistical. That's not grace, right? Like,

I was taking a hike the other day near my house, and I was looking at the mountains, and then from there, you can also see the ocean. And I thought, how humble to just be in full, total expansion, because you're not trying to stop it, because it's not about you. It's about the force that's bigger than you, right? It wouldn't be humble for a mountain to say, oh, no, no, no, no, make me a hill. It wouldn't be humble for the ocean to say, this is about what I can tolerate receiving, so make me a pond. It's like, no, because it's about something much bigger than me. And I do this exercise at the retreats that I lead where I have everybody get in a circle

and have them write themselves a check. Like, write yourself a check on the piece of paper in front of you and now go in the circle and line up in a row, depending on how much money you wrote. So some people write 200,000, some people write a million, a billion, 5 billion, 100 billion, everybody's in the circle. And then we go around with the microphone, let's say there's 100 women and it's like 75,000 all the way to like one person put infinity. So I say, close your eyes, find your center in that place. How much love can you give from that place? The only correct answer is endless. Find your center. How much love can you receive from that state? Endless. So when we are connected to the oneness that is really what we are at the core, the only numbers of anything is full, infinite, endless. Everything else

is egotistical. Everything else is our own barometer going, well, this is what feels humble. And this is what feels in integrity, because this is how much I've decided that if I had more than this, I would trigger that person, or I would be unsafe because this person wouldn't like me. So that's all static. That's all ego. So when people want to receive more abundance in love and in health and in money, it's important to come back to orienting to ourselves, what we are, rather than what we think we are. And then you see where all the static is. It's like, the more we realize the heart, right? As an example, the heart pumps blood and receives blood to do what?

Hump it into the body, right? So would it be humble if the heart was like, oh, I just want this much? Because where does it go? It goes into the whole body. So because there is no you and me separate, I would want to be a vessel for as much love, as much light, as much money, as much oxygen, as much as possible, because I am representative of a current. The word currency comes from the

word current. It's moving constantly. Nobody has anything apart from somebody else. There is no way to separate any of us. So the more we're all in the stream, that's grace. That's humility. But we've been designed constantly to see 3D, like I said before. So we see it like, well, he has this and she has this. That means there's less for me. And what does that mean about them that they've allowed themselves to have that that's if we're separate if there's oneness if i'm seeing not with my eyes but i see further with my eyes closed what do i see then just see a field one field and isn't it amazing how anytime you've really seen and you've had insight, you have insight. You see further when you pray, when you meditate, because your eyes are closed. You don't really see with your eyes because the eyes are all about the separation.

So this is where living in Jerusalem and then moving to LA, it was just a whole different ball game for me moving here and coming here and being able to build a business was like I mean it wasn't a thing to try to put myself into a sea of millions of dollars was like I mean look at the Grand Canyon That's much more difficult than somebody just being a radio for being a part of this dream. My personal perception, and I haven't done the work that you have done, so I'm speaking as a student as well. I know you'll probably describe yourself as a student too. Oh, my God. But, okay, maybe not as far advanced student as you.

Like, you've studied more of this, right right i don't know if that's true but i i'm curious what how people can increase their ability to receive because i noticed that as a journey that i've been on and if i think back to, I mean, 2000, when I came on your podcast, I shared like 2016 was a really pivotal year for me. And if I think about my life in 2016, I wasn't receiving that much love in the relationship that I wanted to.

I wasn't receiving the money that I wanted to. I wasn't receiving the money that I wanted to. I wasn't necessarily receiving the friendships or other aspects of my life that I wanted to. But if I also think back to it, I didn't know that I was worthy of receiving, that I could receive anything, or even was able to let that in. I remember in 2017 a mentor asking me how much do you want to earn right yeah and me saying you know I was earning like maybe a hundred thousand dollars at a time and I yeah maybe maybe that's what I'm nearly it was probably touching a hundred thousand pounds and I was like hey two hundred thousand and he was like

that's probably that far from where you're at but I said but that feels huge and he was like hey 200,000 and he was like that's probably that far from where you're at but I said but that feels huge and he's like well double it for you want to earn 400,000 like pounds dollars whatever next year and I was like like it was like my whole body resisted I couldn't even imagine receiving that but I feel like people listening to this will also have that feeling of like, I don't know how to be open to receiving endless amounts or this amount or whatever that is. Okay. So great question. And this is fun. And I am so much a student just like you. And that's the gift of being on the journey. We just keep learning. So the way I would think about it is I might be Jewish, but I love Christmas and I love

Christmas lights. So I put up Christmas lights like crazy. I love celebration and lights. So last Christmas, I hired this guy to put up Christmas lights. My husband's like, we don't have enough in the circuit breaker for the amount of lights you're using. And I'm like, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Like, obviously he's just limited. He's in scarcity. I'll just get all the lights. And so

I have three little kids. I have three daughters, five, eight, nine. They're like, right. So we just get all the things, all the lights. And then they would go on. And about 19 seconds later, they would flick off. And then my computer would shut down upstairs and the refrigerator would go off. And he's like, I'm telling you that we don't have it to hold this much electricity. So I said, what do we need to do? Because there has to be a solution. I'm very into like, let's find the solution. He's like, you'd have to call an electrician and add more to the breaker.

So out comes the electrician and he's like, okay, each one of these is like, whatever the numbers was 250 Watts. So you would need this many more. And then you could fire your computer, your fridge, all these lights, plus your Tesla charger, like all of it will run. I just need to put two or three or more, whatever it was. Great. We are those guitars. It's just energy. There's nothing we have to do. It's not about how do I, it's like how much resonance is going to be held by you right now. And you can freaking feel it. When someone walks in the room, I'm sure we've interviewed similar people, but like Matthew McConaughey that day that I sat with him, I said to him out loud. I was like, let me just say this out loud 10 times just so we can get to the interview. I was like, you're so hot. You're so hot.

No, I'm not done. I was like, you're so hot. You're so gorgeous. And he was laughing. And I'm like, one more like okay now we can I was like I know I can calm down like it's so much heat that I just I I have to say it out loud or else I'm going to pretend I'm breathing I'm not really breathing the way you think I'm breathing so how much charge does he hold a lot okay there's very little static there it's just fully in this field okay there's very little static we know when we have broadband we know when we have bad signal i actually live in brentwood so we had to do like an extra three backflips to get good wi-fi because

i live in a place where actually there's no cell reception at all. I actually have to use my phone through Wi-Fi, which is interesting and kind of cool. But my point is, how much reception do you feel? And there's only two buttons in this video game. You're either in reception or you're in resistance. We overcomplicate this game. We're like, let's read 20 more books. Let's go to this workshop. There are two settings on your circuit. You're either in resistance or you're in reception. And you can feel when you're back in alignment. We can feel when you are setting down, needing to prove, needing to be liked, trying to earn it. A lot of people, when it comes to, oh, billions, oh, this,

up comes all their stuff around receiving, which starts back from the way they programmed money as related to love. So for kids, a lot of times growing up in their home, they felt that love was earned. If I get good grades, I get love. If I lose weight, I get love. If I'm perfect, if I don't talk back, if I da-da-da-da-da, I get love. That is not love because that's transactional, right? When somebody loves you, they should say, if you say, why do you love me? What's the reason you love me? The only correct

answer is I love you for no reason. Because if I love you for a reason, it's the reason I love, not you. Love by definition is a gift. I think about my kids, okay? Like I have three daughters. I went through 12 rounds of fertility treatment and miscarriages and things and different kinds of situations and then was successful three different times and I'm so grateful I'm so grateful they're so beyond word special I remember holding my daughter Eliza and when she was born I remember looking at her face like your face is so beautiful her face is so beautiful her cheekbones like a lot of babies sometimes are sweet but not cute she's exquisite and sweet she's both and the nurses were like they would have to whisper she's so beautiful I'll show you a picture when we're done and I I remember thinking, what could I possibly have done

to earn Eliza? Like, what could I have done? Was it like, oh, that paper I wrote in college, that pushed it over the edge, that God was like, you earned it now. You can cash this in. The answer is there's no amount of achievement or goodness or kindness that equals her. Nothing. It's a gift. And it's such an awesome gift that you just surrender your ego completely because there's no way for your ego to stand in that conversation. You just go into gratitude. You just receive it. You just are bulldozed over by wonder and beauty, and you just go to thank you for grace. This is amazing. You see people who don't have vision and you think of your eyes and you're like, what did I do to earn eyesight? What would it cost me to have an eyeball? There's nothing.

There's no amount. All of it is not earned. All of it is there already. It's already done. God is so infinitely generous. The universe is so infinitely gorgeous. Think of the 19 colors of green on your one tree outside your door. Think of the way in which every person has a unique way that their smile churns another person at the bus stop. It's amazing.

No one else can perceive reality for us. No one else can focus our attention for us. And so often we're just focusing our attention on a thought that's a lie that keeps us apart from the stream. And that thought starts to get really confusing and like, well, who would I be if I had this money? What would I, I can't even imagine that. It's like, you already have a jackpot.

You have had jackpot after jackpot that you never earned. You couldn't earn those anyway. That's how you continue to have the humility and the grace to keep receiving because by receiving life itself and being in that state of gratitude, you love other people into life. The whole thing is about learning to receive love and love is not earned. And that's the shift people need to make because they inherently don't feel worthy of love because somewhere that was modeled. And that's a human egoic creation. That's not about us and this matrix. The waves receive constantly from the ocean. They don't even think about it. Who's beating your heart? Who's giving you a, you know, it's interesting when somebody dies in a hospital and they bring them back to life, they take electricity and put a charge on them, hoping that that charge keeping our circuit on. And every second we're being given this electricity. What did we do to earn that? So why do we make money into a whole big thing? Because money is where the ego loves to show up because it's separateness. It's what you have, what she has, it's ego. How about, again, allow for the most amount of charge in every way to come through

oxygen, love, kindness, compassion, and money and good hikes and yummy sex life and all of that stuff. And then you are the most humble version of you. And now you can tackle the real reason and the real juicy problem, which is how do we get more light into the world how do we as a collective come together so that we can move this whole spaceship forward the message that i got from that too if you think about my the question that led me down that was how can we receive and you're already receiving and i think that's the biggest thing that people don't even recognize they're like i have all of these things to work on i don't know how to receive but you do because like you say you've got that heartbeat you're living you're doing all these things right back down around to the beginning of our

conversation like you we were saying something like finding purpose it's not a doing a thing it's not a label it's a feeling and a vibration and a charge and that receiving and i think just i don't know i've i've almost changed my perspective from the beginning of this conversation to the end well i want to say something about the purpose thing because i want to help people listening with this. Because so often people will say, well, I don't know what my thing is. I don't know what my purpose is. And really, it's that they do know.

But what's hiding what they know is I don't feel worthy of it. I don't feel good enough, or it's not possible. And we are just scared of trying things and having them be in beta. But the first time that Fred Astaire was dancing, if you look under his tap shoes, his feet are all bruised up and bloody, right? And there's no longer a willingness to just be in our process. I had Jason Mraz on the podcast and he's like, you should see my studio right now. I take everything out. There's a ukulele on the floor and there's like paper and pen all over the piano. And he's in a process. He's in creativity. It's like, oh, it's a, it's a,

it's a hillside of wildflowers. We're so in ego that we want it to look right already. We want it to be received already. We want somebody to approve of it already that we're afraid to let something creative have a process. When you're building a baby, you don't take it out of the oven until it's been 40 weeks or thereabouts. It doesn't mean that it's not happening. We just need to allow for the grace. And there's so much ego and there's so much shame around not being perfect and about wanting to be liked and wanting to have answers and wanting to know that we say, I don't have a purpose. And it's like, you do have one, but if you're willing to trust yourself and when you watch like an artist, like let's say somebody is going to illustrate Mickey Mouse, they take a pencil, they go over to a canvas and they draw the circle like 19 times,

right? They go around, around, around, around, around, and they get the ear and they do it better, better, better, better, better. As they're drawing, they're literally improving it as they're drawing. And then at the end, there's like 300 circles that make up this mouse, right? And that's somebody who's actually dialed in. That's somebody who's like a legit, like best Pixar animator they have right now. If you would allow yourself to let go of trying again to win what your ego needs, approval and safety, and you need the ROI. And if you would just let yourself start the podcast and see how it goes and feel into it, if you would let yourself get out of the way and get out of the predictable, your ego wants to predict, your soul wants the unpredictable.

The best dates of your life were never, I knew exactly how it was going to go and it went that way. And I want every day of the rest of my life to be exactly what I can predict. No, the best times of your life is when you call your girlfriend. You're like, you won't believe what happened. Why did that feel so good?

Because it's unpredictable. Your soul's craving the unpredictable. So if you could allow yourself to be in alignment, you'd say, i actually have so many ideas and so much i'm brilliant at and there's like 15 things that are my purpose but if i'm in this place of needing codependent belonging because my ego can't handle not being certain not being like not being approved not having immediacy right because it wants to predict immediately then you're gonna say well it's lucky for her. Good for her. She started a podcast. Good for her. She started Boss

Babe. Good for her. I don't even have a thing. Of course you have a thing, but it's on the other side of letting go of control. It's on the other side of needing to hold onto it a certain way. And so then what I've been able to do with this podcast of mine, it's called Don't Keep Your Day Job, because it's all about doing your life's work and having a job. A day job feels like something where you check out and you feel miserable. So everything other than that to me is not keeping your day job, right? And I say to people, of course, you can make a living doing what you love. Of course, that's there for you. You were designed. Every person is like a missing puzzle piece. Without you, there's something that just doesn't get created. There's a thread, a color, a thing that we need. And we kind of inherently know that.

And so what's interesting is after doing 600 and whatever many episodes, I've seen that everyone falls into five different categories in terms of what kinds of things become a purpose. One is making a thing. Like I make soap, I write songs, I make dresses. One is teaching a thing. I teach people how to create a social media following. I teach people how to podcast. I teach people how to write songs. I teach people photography. Another one is curating. Like I curate, I don't make the food or teach people how to make croissants, but I'm a foodie and I know how to find good food and I have good taste. So I might be a curator if I'm an editor of somebody else's writing.

I don't want to write the book and be the maker, but I want to curate the book. So there's curators, right? And then there's people who are like investigators. They're like, I just want to investigate happiness and create content around that. Like Malcolm Gladwell, people think he's a psychologist. He's just a researcher. He just is curious. He's a person who gets paid to go be curious, right? And so we live in a world where you can investigate a topic and get paid. And so I say these things to people because I'm like, you just don't even give yourself the chance to think the thought that there's anything out of what's been predictable for you. But if I say this and you listen to my

show and you listen to your show and you start seeing evidence of people who've reached for different kinds of branches and are actively living right now, getting paid to do pottery, getting paid to create a movement of women online. You're like, that already exists in the world. So obviously it's a possibility, right? We have so much of a zone of genius inside of us, but we play in our zone of like confidence and excellence because we're scared of being in this messy place. You've never seen a preschooler who's not creative and that's because preschoolers are okay with getting paint on their face. But once you hit like eight or nine or 24, you're like, I'm no longer okay with that. So now your need to please and have approval

is keeping you from your symphony, your podcast, your business. So I say, if you, if you grow a business that is like the best therapy, because you will meet all the areas where you find resistance and you'll meet it in social media. People will say, I don't want to be visible because I don't want people to look at me. I don't want those comments. It's like, well, you could only sign off. If you're signing off on it, that's why it's hurting you. So you have to look at your own.

I mean, it's just amazing how many lessons and how many ways we can expand and find breakthroughs by actually going into the eye of the storm a la becoming an entrepreneur. And I think that is when you talk about leaving your day job, you talk about being an entrepreneur and starting a business. That is the first step in that.

Like if you, some people will come up with those hurdles straight away from their childhood, from their upbringing, that sounds like that first one to overcome. And you're right, I would agree. Like the fastest way to go on a personal development journey is to start a business because every single milestone will show you something else that you get to overcome and it's not that you need to overcome we don't need to do anything in life but we get to choose and get to that power to really make sure that we're in resonance as

well with ourselves when When you start break, not breaking down, but like when you start taking those, you know, like sort of Hoffman, like they have this, it's like an onion almost at our center, start shedding these layers.

And then you get really to your core essence of who you are. And then that, you know, the residency you, or the vibration that you put out into the world is actually really who you are and not, you know, layers from other people over the years. Yeah, and that's why in business, what's so cool is that

if you have a hobby, it's about you, right? You can do it today, not do it. But if you have a business, there's economics involved. That means someone's paying you, which means somebody needs or wants what you made, which means you're going to have to unravel your codependency you're going to have to understand that your abundance doesn't come from them saying yes or no it comes from what you are a vibrational match for period you're going to have to understand that to create something someone else needs or want you have to let go of your ego and have radical empathy you know it's just

interviewing i'll tell you real fast because it was so inspiring kendra scott kendra scott oh my god yeah i didn't realize that the business is now a over a billion dollars a billion with a b and she was saying that she loved early on when she would take her earrings and jewelry and like she would literally start by going to like 15 boutiques and when somebody would say no, she said, you know, no in the mirror turned backwards is on. And I'd be like, this conversation is on. Like, this is awesome.

And so she would say, I love that you're saying no, because I want to know why. And it'd be so valuable if you told me your feedback. Like, what would you have changed about the line? Or is it the price? Is it the shape? Is it the colors of the style? And then she would go out of her way to send that person a basket of goods, cookies, chocolate, flowers,

and she loved it. She meant it. It wasn't just ingenuous. She appreciated the answer keys. And so you think about, oh my God, what an incredible way to break through shame because everything was a yes. It was all a win. It was all good. It was all failing forward and getting feedback. So this is why when you start a business, you unravel and you have something actionable to test how much spiritual growth do you have in here? That's why an atom is 99% energy, but 1% particles. So I love having a business because all this spiritual work, it literally, the rubber hits the road when you're in business with someone else, you're collaborating with someone else,

somebody else is paying you, you get a place to employ all of this and you get to see where it's still sticky. You go, Ooh, look how I reacted to that. What's going on with me that's not really in alignment here? And gosh, it's so easy and fun and cool when you realize how this all works and you go, oh my God, I'm allowing in all of this now. This feels so much fun. That's why I love teaching people to grow a business. This is one of my favorite conversations on a podcast. Honestly, I was thinking this is going to go into my slack channel my team like everyone in the company has to listen to this episode because I think when you take charge of your or take we use the word control but take ownership ownership of the

stuff that we spoke about today when you realize how much you can change your feelings right now, your vibration right now, you really understand how much you can change in your future. And it doesn't take that long. No. And I just want to say this last thing is I started my podcast five years ago, right? Now we're at almost 40 million downloads. And when I started, I didn't have an Instagram account. I was a 37-year-old mom with three kids and my youngest was 10 days old. Now this podcast generates multi-millions of dollars. I just signed a big network deal, just signed a second book deal. It's amazing because someone would have said, how long is this now going to take you if you're starting from scratch? But resonance is real. So if you are calling people forward from this greater thing, this spaciousness, this expansion that we talked about before, everybody feels it.

Nobody says, I really wish I could have chocolate-covered pineapple if you've never had it. Because you're not missing something you don't know. But we all are missing and wanting and craving oneness because we know oneness, that's our soul. So when we hear something that's resonant, we go, oh, I know that, that's resonant with me. It reminds me of home. And we all come back to ourselves through somebody else's resonant. It gives us Wi-Fi. We all become like a Wi-Fi pong to the other person. It bumps us right back into alignment. That's why it doesn't have to take more than one second. It's not about moving through time and space. It's not about linear things. And it's about resonance. So everything we talked

about, I say to people, the answer to how you're going to grow your business is not what you're going to do, but who you're going to be. Drop in. I don't care if you have 300 followers, 30 followers, the 3,000 followers. If you show up and call people forward from this place, they feel it. They want it. You charge them by charging them. And when you charge someone's batteries, they're excited to walk into Cartier and spend $35,000 on a necklace it's a gift so we charge each other when we actually charge each other and that's why business is just it's a blast I thought that was a mic drop moment Kathy do you want to share obviously you mentioned your podcast but do you want to share obviously you mentioned your podcast but you want to share your handles as

well and your podcast is amazing i love it so this you don't love it's not 40 million downloads for no reason i love you and i loved having you on my podcast my handle on instagram is just me it's kathy.heller and um i don't know when this is coming out but i'm actually teaching a podcasting course i do it once a year and that feels really fun. And then I do a lot of retreats and stuff, but all of that you can find on my Instagram. We'll put some links as well. We'll put some links on your website.

I want to do more things with you. I feel like since we're both in LA, we're going to have some kind of an event collab or something. You heard it here first. Thank you, Kathy. You're amazing, by the way. Likewise. Amazing. Thank you so much for listening. And if you enjoyed this episode on the Boss Babe podcast,

then I'd absolutely love it if you leave us a review. As a thank you, we'll send you our side hustle success kit. Your simple, no BS guide to keeping track of everything that you need to do to start and grow your business. To access this freebie, all you need to do is leave us a review, then share a screenshot of your review with contact at bossbabe.com and we'll send this must-have kit straight to your inbox. you