the bossbabe podcast - 269. The Power Of Body Positivity + Self Love With Iskra Lawrence

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

Have you ever wanted something so badly, but are afraid to take the plunge because of what other people might think? Maybe you’re worried you don’t have the right background, the right personality or body type? Or maybe that first setback is keeping you from dusting yourself off and trying again? On this week’s episode, Natalie sits down with actress and model Iskra Lawrence to dive deep into what it means to be resilient and just how different her world would be if she let the fear of not fitting in hold her back from her dream to stand out. Iskra broke the mold as a model – taking control of her narrative and changing modeling standards instead of her appearance. She's used the influence she built during her career to launch multiple brands + has become a successful serial entrepreneur and investor as a result. Now rocking more than five MILLION followers across the globe, her story is an incredibly powerful one that inspires women everywhere to never let anyone’s perception of you keep you from who you are meant to be. Highlights: What it’s really like to carve your own path, even when society keeps telling you “no.” The untouched viral image with Aerie that changed it all. Learn the ONE thing that made brands eager to 10x Iskra’s pay. Links: Shop Saltair — now available at Target!  Follow: Instagram: @iskra Saltair: @saltair Self Funding Planner: @selffundingplanner bossbabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie Ellis: @iamnatalie

My agent texts me and he goes, delete that immediately, what are you doing? You're ruining your career. And I was like, no, the internet loves it. And so I was at this point where I just, again, had this delusional self-belief. I was like, I think I know better than everyone. If I would have listened to all their advice,

I never would have done social media and we would not be sat here today. A boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise, keep going and fighting on. She is on a mission to be her best self in all areas. It's just believing in yourself. Confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own version of success. Welcome to the Boss Babe Podcast, a place where we share with you the real behind the scenes of building successful businesses, achieving peak performance and learning how to balance it all. I'm Natalie

Ellis and your host for this episode. So this episode is one that I'm really excited for you to hear. It's a friend of mine, Iskra Lawrence, who also lives in Austin. And I asked her to come on the podcast because she has the most incredible story of breaking into the modeling industry as a plus size model, which was very unheard of when Iskra was starting her career. And she's been able to use the influence that she built during her career to launch multiple brands and has become a really successful serial entrepreneur and investor. And what I really take from Iskra's story is how many doors were closed for her that she just decided to open anyway. And she talks about what

it looked like when she started going viral and how she was able to really utilize that to build an incredible business and what that journeys look like. I know for me in this episode, I was just getting so inspired and fired up and realizing that really no one can tell you no and stop you doing something. Sure, someone can turn you down, turn you away, but it's up to you whether you take that no or whether you continue anyway. And that's something that really came through for me on this one. So I know you're going to love it. I'm not going to take any more time. Let's dive into the episode. So Iskra, I want to talk about the empire you've built. It is an empire. But before we get into that, I want to understand a little bit about how you grew up,

what made Iskra, Iskra. So tell me about where you grew up. Obviously, we're both from England, but I grew up in Worcestershire, like very rural, small town, and I'm an only child. And my parents definitely instilled in me a really young age to go after whatever I wanted and just try it. And if I failed, it's okay, at least you tried. So I was definitely encouraged to do all the things growing up. And I was very driven and motivated. And my parents also, my dad's one of 10. Most of my family stayed in the same small town. And my parents definitely wanted more for me. And so I always got that feeling that they even wanted me to leave in a good way. And I like, there's so much of the world to see. Please don't just stay in the same town. Don't work at the local carpet factory like the rest of the family does. Like,

really go out there and build something for yourself. And so I, at the age of 10, found out about this boarding school that was about an hour and a half away from where I lived. And I made a whole PowerPoint presentation to pitch why I should get a scholarship to go to this school. And I got the scholarship. And so I went to a scholarship to go to this school. And I got the scholarship. And so I went to a school called Malvern Girls College, which was like super posh, very different from the way I grew up. And it gave me this exposure to highly, highly successful people at a young age, almost extremely successful to the point of like, there was a lot of these kids who would get shipped off to boarding school and didn't have relationships with their parents. So I was like learning what success meant, I think, from a very

young age and deciding what success meant for me at a very young age. And so I actually decided to leave that school because I didn't enjoy the environment. And I went to a school called Bromsgrove School. Again, I got a scholarship, worked really hard to get in there and I loved it. I really enjoyed how competitive it was. And during that time, when I was about 12 and a half, I also started developing this passion for fashion, loved magazines, obviously loved seeing these super models who traveled the world and created images that lived on forever and were obviously aspirational, but it inspired me in so many ways because it was so different from what I'd seen growing up. And so that was my goal. It was like,

that's how I'm going to travel the world. That's how I'm going to meet all these different people. That's how I'm going to create something everlasting. And so I entered Elle Girls Search for a Supermodel and my mom took the pictures when I was 12 and a half and it was me up against the wardrobe in my bedroom, her holding a fan. Oh, my God. It was hysterical. I need to bring those pictures back. And I got into the finals. And again, it was like in London.

So I had to take the train down. The train's maybe like two hours from where we are. And it was a really big deal. And I didn't win, which again is a life lesson, right? Sometimes not winning is the best lesson because it makes you take a more difficult route to where you want to get. It's not like an instantaneous victory. It was like, okay, you're nearly there, but you still have to figure out how to get there. So I got signed and put on Faces to Watch by this amazing agent, Sarah Duskhouse, who had dedicated masks. So I was

really like in the thick of it with this incredible agency. I was test shooting, I was doing little runways, but it became apparent very quick that I was not sample size. Even as soon as I hit puberty at like 15, my hips started to, you know, grow and expand. And that's confusing as it is, let alone then being measured constantly and being told that your hips are just two inches too big. And unless you can do something about it right now, you're not going to have a career. And so for me, a competitive person, you know, I was also a national swimmer for England at the time. I took it as like, okay, challenge accepted. How can I get as skinny as possible? And there was no healthy method to do

this. And so it was essentially starvation. I ended up having an eating disorder and body dysmorphia because at this point I have 37 inch hips. I was only what, a UK six or eight, which is what a US four, something like that. And yeah, I looked at my body and I'd pull back my flesh. I'd measure by this half a centimeter, all my different body parts. It was an obsession because I was told if I could achieve a goal of being these measurements, I would succeed. And that's all it came down to, or it seemed to come down to for a very number of years. And I went to, they gave me a list of 11 different agencies to go and see because they dropped me because I couldn't lose the weight. And all of them gave me these excuses, right?

You're too commercial, you're too curvy, you're too womanly, you're too mature. I'm like 15. I'm trying to figure out like, oh, so there's just something wrong with me and I have to fix it. So again, it was many years of having this battle with my body image, the way I viewed myself and trying to kind of hide it. And I'm a confident person. So if you met me, you'd probably think I was still very confident. And I was outwardly seeking validation. I dressed pretty sexy at school and I dyed my hair blonde and got my nails done and wear heels when all the other girls were like not doing those things. Cause I thought the validation from boys would help me feel a little bit better about the way I looked because I wasn't

getting the validation from the modeling industry. But it meant I had to get super like this hustle mentality really young. I signed with eight local agencies, Manchester, Birmingham, all these different places. And I just was trying to work and book jobs and gain experience. When I was about 17, I lived in Turkey during the summer to gain experience. And it was terrible. It's literally what you'd expect, model house, 13 people, no one spoke English, couldn't ask any questions because I was a woman, like blacked out cars taking us around. One girl, they threw out the house and just dumped her at the airport in the middle of the night because she wouldn't get a sunbed. It was just, the stories are insane, but I just kept on going. I had this delusional belief in myself because even though basically people were kind of laughing when I said, I have really big dreams,

I want to do this and do that. There was, I was still paving my own little way and getting like, I don't know, like chipping away, chipping away. So when I was 19, I was at a college fashion show. It was like Wolverhampton College. And this girl said to me, you do know there's plus size modeling. I was like, what is plus size modeling? And she goes, yeah, in America, in America, they have plus size models. And so I started to research. And again, this is before social media, right? We just don't have access to much of that. And then I saw the Vogue Italia cover with the plus size models on. And it was like just a moment of chills. What?

Like there's different body types that can be models. It just, people had told me the only possible way to do it was to be this one size. And then I see these gorgeous goddesses of different sizes on the cover. I was like, oh, okay, it's happening. So I went into an agency that had a plus size division. I was so excited. And then they said, sorry, you're too small. I was like, what? I was like, you won't accept me for this size. Now you won't accept me for that size. And so at that moment, it was just breaking point where it was like I'm done changing for you I got to change this industry or at least in the UK it definitely felt like there was nothing happening yeah so I started out and

going cold calling clients finding out who the person in marketing at Tesco's was M&S all these different brands and just being like hey I'm a model and I look like your customers I'm a different size and I kind of had this monopoly because I was really the only model in the UK at my size and so I started getting all these clients because I pitched myself as like I'm the in-between if you have your straight size model your plus size model I'm like the in-between girl and of course people relate to me because a lot of people are my size. And so I started building up this client base that was consistent. I wasn't earning a bunch of money, but I was doing okay. I was probably at that point earning £1,500 a month. Which is great given your age too.

Which isn't bad, right? I just like fresh out of high school and I was, you know, moving to London and trying to live and do everything myself. And I went back to the agency that rejected me and I was, you know, moving to London and trying to live and do everything myself. And I went back to the agency that rejected me. And I said, I will give you 20% of this, these clients that I have. If you will just take me on, just take me on and send me to the same castings that you're already sending other girls to. And I will stand out. Like I will really just impress them with my personality, my drive, my focus. And so obviously that started working. And then magically social media came around because Facebook wasn't really a place where we were consuming imagery the same way as when Instagram came out, it was suddenly like,

oh wow, we can view other people's lives and stories and what they're doing. And I guess I'm a very confident storyteller. So I combined like the images of modeling and what I was going through with the storytelling of, it's taken me 10 years to even get a break in this place. These are my unretouched images because I hadn't eaten a soda and was just really open and relatable when no models had ever really done that before. And so it connected with people. People loved seeing, I guess, the beautiful modeling images, but they enjoyed seeing the realness behind it and the story and the person and that, you know, I can still be insecure, but I can still then

show up and be the front of the campaign for something. So it kind of broke that wall of illusion that models are these perfect, confident people and it was like no actually most of us are super insecure we have eating disorders and yeah we feel nervous about the way we look sometimes and so I so now I'm like 20 21 living in London like do you still have an eating disorder at this point no I'm definitely out of my it was really the plus size figuring out that wait there was another way to do this was a turning point and I instead of focusing my energy I'm purely trying to be as slim as possible I transferred my energy to like okay I need to just be my healthiest happiest self yeah and that's a challenging

thing to do because I was still hyper aware of what I was putting in my body and the way I was exercising, but I brought people around me and I had a friend that was also on that journey of like just health and wellbeing, not I'm trying to starve myself because I feel like I need to be as soon as possible. So yeah, that energy and focus turned into like, I got to make this to fix this problem of the industry. I was never the issue that was. And so at 21, I heard about this agency JAG in New York, who were very inclusive and who were casting and looking for models from Europe. And so I told my agency, I was like, I have to meet them. And so I told them my journey. I was like, listen, I've

been doing this like over eight years now, nine years. I will work. I'll outwork anyone. I will rebook clients because that's something I would pride myself on with modeling. They don't really tell you this, but it's not just booking the shoot. It's rebooking and rebooking with the client. And I would have clients that would solidly book me for, I don't know, four days a month, every single month, because I did the job really effectively, efficiently. I was nice to work with. And you sometimes don't know that there are things that are just really important for models to be able to do. One of them is easy to work with. It's all people want. They do not want a model that complains and they want a model that just gets the job done nicely, quickly, produces the nice images, and that the customer

relates to or wants to buy from. So I knew all of those other things that I think a lot of models maybe weren't aware of because I've been doing it for so long. And so I went to JAG. They were really impressed. And I went to New York within months, I think it was. I was like, right, I'm going to New York, did a six-week test period. It was okay. The problem was there was still mostly just plus size work or straight size work. So a lot of these brands would see me and they were like, oh, we really like you, but you're not big enough. And then they introduced me to fat pads. And so I was encouraged to buy a fat suit.

Wait, what? I didn't know this was a fat pad it's a thing yeah fat pad so it's essentially like yeah it's like a body it's like a the a body suit and you stuff it with padding to fill you out in different areas yes and I would get my waist would get photoshopped bigger I would be wearing fat pads and so it felt exciting because I'd made it to New York. I'd been signed with the agency I wanted to sign with. But then simultaneously, I would be on set looking in the mirror, myself wearing fat pads, being like, this is not what I'm meant to be doing.

This goes against the whole point of me doing this. And so I said to my agency, I worked for about six months and I booked Nordstrom, Old Navy, Amazon. I was like working pretty good. I said, I don't want to wear the fat pads anymore. And they're like, but you're going to lose all these clients. I was like, I know, but it's just like, what's the point? I'm just feeding into the whole issue that is already existing. And no one still really knew it, but me and a couple of models, Lauren Chan, we did a Refinery29 article about fat pads. So it just was starting that the consumer was like, hey, are we actually getting advertised by skinnier models who are wearing fat pads so

the fat is only in certain areas? It's not on their face. It's not really on their arms. Like that, we don't want to be sold this unrealistic version. So it was starting to fat is only in certain areas. It's not on their face. It's not really on their arms like that. We don't want to be sold this unrealistic version. So it was starting to change. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm not about this. It doesn't feel good. So I was like almost back to square one of like what clients can I work with? And then Aerie came around and Aerie had just decided to stop retouching and they were looking for new models and they had a huge casting in New York for days and maybe even weeks where they almost wanted to see every single model and they would film us and do this video interview and that's very different because a lot of brands will literally sometimes just go and look at your modeling portfolio book

and just judge you off that and be like yeah no but Aerie wanted to get to know you and your personality and what you stood for so I went there and I was like ready I was dancing I was showing them my webbed toes I was just like I need this and I booked it and it was a one-day shoot in Miami out of five days and I was like at that point the curviest girl they'd used yeah and when those images ended up online they went viral but not how I was expecting first I didn't know what viral was really at this time I think I had 8,000 followers on Instagram which is more than that was a lot of the time it was a lot of the time this is like what 2012 that was a lot not that it's not a lot now but that was a lot at the time it It was. There was barely, really, unless you were a model or a celebrity,

everyone else had 40 followers. Yeah, exactly. It was that type of thing. Yeah, I remember that. So it was like, wow, 8,000. And even all the other models at my agency had a little bit less. It's just I was consistently building on the platform, even though, quote, my New York agent said,

you shouldn't be doing social media, you're a model. Oh, interesting. And I'm so glad I did not listen to that advice I was like no like it's fun and I'm just sharing and like people were giving me such good feedback it was definitely fulfilling me in a way and so yeah the airy picture went viral on Twitter okay and it was an image of me just twisting in my lingerie, like super happy, confident. And you could just see some rolls. Yeah. And it was insane that that went viral.

And people, it was one of those like bitchy accounts. It was literally called like. Oh, like in a bad way it went viral. Oh, yeah, yeah. So at the same time, Aerie had booked Emma Roberts for a shoot. So basically this headline came out on Twitter and it was like the real American horror story because she was in American horror story

and it was a picture of me. And it was like, this is disgusting. Like, why is this model allowed to be a lingerie model? Essentially. Oh my God. And it went so viral because obviously people are like, yeah, that's disgusting. She shouldn't be a lingerie model.

Like what's wrong with her stomach? People were like saying all sorts of things. Has she had tons of kids? Has she got a disease? She looks like a fat cow. It was like, whoa, the internet is mean. I did not see this coming. But on the flip side, the majority was like, no, this is what normal bodies look like. And people were like, have you not sat down? Literally, everyone has roles when they sit down. And so it just sparked this conversation. And I basically reacted to it by doing this,

like I flipped off some trolls and ate some chips. And that went super viral. And it was just like this viral spiral. And were you noticing your accounts growing? Oh my gosh, yeah. So now this is 2015. And overnight, I would get like a hundred thousand new followers like overnight I remember I turned 20 so I turned 25 and had 70,000 followers

and that my birthday September 11th I remember it like yesterday or 70,000 followers and by December I had a million followers like literally October November and this was so long ago too like you would have been one of the biggest on the platform yeah it was it was nuts I did not know what was happening it was crazy but I still didn't earn a penny from social media but let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform Kajabi you know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place. So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler.

One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet, now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial. Go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash boss babe. But you know what's really interesting? It happened overnight, but really this was a decade in the works. Of course. This was a decade of you knowing who you are and what you're going for. And so it happened overnight, but it didn't. Yes, exactly. Yes. And

it's very hard when people want to try and replicate that because it's just like, I didn't know what was happening either. This was not planned. So what was great was it was helping Aerie and Aerie was getting all the press from me being so vocal and me taking these risks where literally like the flipping off video for example my agent texts me and goes delete that immediately what are you doing you're ruining your career and I was like no the internet loves it and so like I was at this point where I just again had this like delusional self-belief I was like I think I know better than everyone well you did and yeah because if I would have listened to all their advice I never would have done social media and we would

not be sat here today. Totally. And so for me, I was just consistently following my gut and I was just breaking it down. I was like, people forget what a model is. A model, we are wearing clothes so they are bought by a customer. And so if the customer likes me, trusts me, follows me, they're more likely to buy the clothes that I'm wearing. And so it wasn't until about 2016 where I first then started to get brand deals. Because before that, brands, even Aerie was like, don't take photos on set. Don't share anything. You've got to wait two, three months until the collection drops and then maybe you can share something and it turned from that to like hey we want you to model and post on social media and then my fee literally 10x'd right and I knew that the same models and I felt a little bit bad for them but also I knew what I'd done to get there you'd done the work yeah that they would get

10 times less than me for the exact same job but but because I would do a post as well. And it was just like, oh my gosh, I'm really glad I took the initiative to do this. And so really from there, I know I kept on going with the social media and still to this day. Yeah. What I think is really incredible about your story, even going back to when you went to this school and really you're an outsider. Yeah. And I think is really incredible about your story, even going back to when you went to this school and really you're an outsider. Yeah. And I can relate to this. It happened for me at a later age, but you're in a place where everyone else has a lot of things in common and you almost feel like the outsider. And I think that can go two ways. You can then kind of turn into a shell of yourself and try and be like everyone else so that you're not the outsider and you can try and fit in. But it feels like throughout your entire journey,

you've really embraced being an outsider. When there was no place for you, you were like, okay, well, I'll forge my own place. I'll make my own place. Where does that come from? It might be an only child thing, but it might be just my parents really having that belief in me and instilling that confidence from a young age. Like I was able to do things like swimming competitively and they weren't the parents that were shouting on the sidelines or making me feel bad when I didn't win. Right. They were like, do you enjoy this? Right.

They were very much like just follow whatever enjoys you. Even if you see other people doing this, you don't need to do that. I even remember the first time going to an underage club when I was like 14 and all my friends were trying cigarettes for the first time. And I was like, ugh, that's disgusting. I'm not touching that. Even though the peer pressure of that moment, they were like, no, try it, try it, try it. And I just always had that, like, I feel like I know what's best for me. Yeah. Instilled in me. Yeah. And it's so hard to know whether we're born with that or whether we're given that. And having a daughter myself now, I'm always thinking of those things. I'm like, well, what is the impact of? So it's so interesting hearing how you've been able to forge your own path and really stay true to you. I think that's really

incredible. Going back when you were at a time where you weren't thin enough for this agency and you weren't big enough for this agency and or even before that and you had an eating disorder how did you not go down the wrong path because there's a left road and a right road and you see a lot of people in the industry going down that road because they get they maybe take on a disorder and they get in this loop where they're unable to get out and there's so many voices I mean even going viral and the things I imagine you've read about yourself would make the average person would put you into a meltdown yeah how have you managed to build that resilience where

you can experience something and still choose a different path? I mean, it's definitely all about how you react to different scenarios. And I think it could have been my grandma. My grandma raised me a lot because my parents were young and they had to be, they were at university still. Wow. Okay. Yeah. They were like 22 and 23. And again, didn't have anything, lived in a one bed flat with a shared bathroom. And so my grandma brought me up a lot. And my grandma had 10 kids, worked overnights in a carpet factory, didn't have a car, would cycle to work 20 miles, like just insane, like work ethic. Yeah.

And I don't know, I think that the fact that she stayed positive, even though she lost her husband when my dad was five. Right. And had this huge family and had all of this responsibility, I'm like, she still has a good time. You'll still see her laughing and cracking jokes and she's not gotten down on herself. And on the flip side, my mom's uncle passed away from alcohol abuse. And another one of our family members died from an accident related to alcohol abuse. So I've seen like these extremes of like, wow, I've got some people in my family who work so hard and do have a really tough and choose to react in a way where they keep getting back up every single day. They keep going to work and they stay positive. And

my grandma was very good at socializing and keeping good people around her and talking. And so I think I also saw that going and getting out there and surrounding yourself with positive people is really helpful. And I dated an athlete from the age of like 16 to 21. And even though it wasn't the healthiest, pretty toxic relationship, he was a real Jack the lad. And he was the type of person that even if he got an injury or things didn't go well, he'd go and like socialize and build himself back up. And I guess I tried to surround myself with those type of people. And I remember reading my first Louise Hay book at 21, all about affirmations. So that was a huge part of my recovery and going through my eating disorder and choosing to essentially choose

kindness, saying kind things to myself, trying to be kind to other people because it's just a nice spiral. And that was really elevating in the sense of I get to choose how I speak to myself. I get to choose how I react to situations. And what am I going to do? Just sit here and complain. I have a lot of privilege just being white, being an enabled body. I was aware of that. I was aware that even my, I had kind of like a privilege of being attractive because I've met, I've worked with many models who were super insecure and they're almost not aware of the privilege that they're given just by being socially and societally attractive. And so I think my parents always told me to be very grateful for what I had. And I just chose to like not complain about those things and just try and get on with it and move forward and push

forward and react to things in that way. Yeah. And I can, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I can relate a lot. Growing up, there was always, I could see glimpses because I experienced some things on the really dark side. And then I would see glimpses of other realities. Yes. And it always taught me from a young age that I had a choice. Yes. Because I would then think, okay, I would maybe see other kids at school and their parents had a different dynamic. And I'd be like, oh, I want more like that. Well, what do they do? And I'd get really curious.

Yeah. And it always taught me from a young age that I have power and I have choice. And I think that's what then didn't have me go down kind of like a darker path because I always knew there was an alternative. Yeah. And I think that's powerful to have. I think it have this and to even in the life we are in now always having glimpses of what others are up to

and what's possible like I've always been the kind of person where I don't see someone I get jealous I always see someone and I'm like oh they're expanding so much for me because I didn't know that was possible yeah if you stay in your bubble and that's, that's your only reality. Yeah. And how do you know to like go out? I don't love comparison because I think comparison is the thief of joy, but I think the observation and the understanding and the empathy of others or just being inspired by others. I think that we have to have that, you know, we have to be able to look outside of ourselves and of our, how we grew up to see that there are so many different ways to live or to choose or to react yeah for sure even I had so many stories about making money and then I would

see certain people making shit tons of money and they didn't look like they were like working themselves to the bone and I'm like wait there's an alternative well tell me what you're doing and I'd get little glimpses and realize, oh, there's another way. And you kind of follow and you get curious. So versus judgment, oh, it's okay for you. It's okay for them. It was like, oh, what if I get really curious about it? And you then learn there's a path. So, okay. So you became like a very, very well-known model. You know, one of the biggest people on Instagram. You just exploded. It would have been very easy to get complacent. It would have been very easy to follow that path. And it feels like you've continued to forge a path. You've continued to follow your ambition in a way that's always been really true to you. And you are now a serial entrepreneur.

You're a podcast host. You're a mom. You're a wife. You're so many things. What led you to decide to take the step from modeling into entrepreneurship? Yeah. Good question. This, again, so many different reasons, but the number one thing was my mom was highly successful at her job where she still worked in the town I grew up in, but she worked for someone who she hated, but she was the highest salesperson. Like she always got the biggest numbers and everyone loved her. And one day she simply was like, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to work for this awful human. I want to do it myself. So she quit her job and started working from home and she was able to pick which hours she worked, how much time she wanted off. And so I immediately saw that entrepreneurial spirit of like, she decided to

go out on her own. She knew what she was doing and she built it. And that was very, very inspiring to me because she chose her happiness over just being complacent and settling. So I was like, oh, even when she was doing great at her job, she decided to start something from scratch and take a huge risk. And similar with my dad, he took lots of different risks. Some of them were terrible, blessing. And that's really what I learned. I was like, you have to try. Same thing with the modeling. Many things didn't work for me, but I kept on trying, trying to open new doors, trying to peek over this wall here. Oh, maybe that's not for me. I'll try this route. And so when I was in thick of it, I was getting offered everything. I was getting offered,

Iskra, let's license activewear. Let's license flipping yoga mats. Let's license nail varnish. Let's license the noise. I was thinking that. I'm thinking the amount of things that you must have turned down from the moment you went viral to even today yeah must be incredible and it was really interesting and I did watch a few people do certain deals and it just when it's inauthentic it just never goes that well and I got a taste of licensing through my work with Aerie so it was I'm really glad I did it that way where basically me and Aerie worked on a fragrance I actually did I was in all the meetings about picking the fragrance notes, the bottle, every bottle I came up with like a different concept or idea. One of them was love notes in the top of the bottle.

So when the girl received it, she could open it and decorate her bottle with stickers and love notes. And another one where it was like Christmas themed, so we put little fairy lights in it. But I didn't have any ownership, right? My deal was I basically just got a cut I got an upfront fee and then like a little cut of whatever the sales were and that was it and I didn't ever see really the figures my agency was just like oh this is how much you've made off the fragrance I was invited into the marketing side but not the actual back

end of understanding and I just remember a friend of mine saying once, she was like, I wonder how many units of that fragrance got sold that have your name plastered on all of them. I bet it's more than the, how much was it back then? Like the 20K you got paid or whatever it was. So I was always aware and I was aware that there was always a ceiling. I was aware that even when I did work for brands, I often got into the boardrooms, but it was filled with rich white men and they made the final decision, right? They actually dictated where the money would be invested and dah, dah, dah. And so I ended up in a couple of scenarios where they failed or I wasn't happy with the outcome. One of which was I became the editor of an online magazine called Runway

Riot. And I worked with, he's a super famous news anchor for like ABC. And he brought me on and gave me the whole spiel. Like this will be your magazine. You'll be the editor in chief. You bring in your team. No, that isn't actually what happened. What happened was they would take meetings behind my back. Articles would go out that I didn't agree with. And then it was on me. They just like wanted your name. They just wanted my name. And I did a lot of groundwork. And I really wanted, what I wanted to do with that magazine was,

this was before magazines were really inclusive. This is back in like 2015, 2016. I wanted a page to be about trench coats and it to be of all different size models showing the different sizes that you could get in this trend and really kind of showing fashion in an inclusive way. And they would not give me budget for shoots to the point where like, if we did a shoot with, you know, lots of different models, I was paying for the bottles of water and the snacks and then

trying to like scrape together free hair and makeup artists. And so it was like people falsely believing in me and essentially tokenizing the fact that I was just currently viral. And I was like, I'm getting used. I'm getting completely used. And it happened again when I developed an app with this team who, it was kind of like a 50-50 deal. It was like, as soon as it's profitable, you will then see the 50-50 share, but not until it's profitable. Little did I know that this team had lied to me and it was on the contract that they were meant to tell me if they got VC they got VC it didn't tell me so they started throwing money at this app and they spent half a million dollars like it was for stupid things like they pay for a

photographer they'd fly a yoga teacher from LA to New York to shoot stuff and again I didn't know how much these costs were and you're like if you just asked me I could have told you we shouldn't have done that right like they're not seeing that you would actually know that was the tricky thing when you're a model they still don't think you have anything going on at there yeah they still don't ask you really for your opinion or they do but it's only on the creative stuff they don't think you have a business mind and you're like um I could tell you how to move this to profitability. Right. So I was just like, that's when that failed. And I realized I was like, oh, well, I'm never going to make a penny because you were just trying to get your money back for the

VC and really didn't care. And I got accidentally cc'd on an email. That's how I found out. Like, it was terrible. Again, I spent over a year building content for that project and not seeing a penny it was like so much of a time investment and it was also the first thing where it was like this is my app I'm so excited and like thousands of people downloaded it plus I kept going on to them I was like $30 a month is too much people can get gym membership for that it has to be $9.99 and they fought with me on that and I didn't win because again and that for me was like what 2017 I was like that's it this is the last time I'm doing something where I'm lending my name my time my energy and I do not have ownership yeah and so that was really when I made the decision

of like how will I create my own brand and what will that look like and it doesn't happen overnight like you know you have to do a lot of research You have to figure out what it is that you truly think is the product or the service that isn't out there right now that you can bring to the table. And so it was behind the scenes for a long time because I was a little bit complacent with Aerie, weren't I? They kept me very busy and they had me on a nice yearly contract. And I wasn't encouraged by my agency to do anything but that. I didn't have a manager. I literally just had a modeling agency and do anything but that. I didn't have a manager. I literally just had a modeling agency and they were like happy that I was just bringing in that every single month. Well, it's almost like a job and to do anything else would be a side hustle.

Exactly. And you're like, do I have the energy for it? Is it worth it right now? And I didn't have a green card. So I actually couldn't legally earn money from anything but my model agency. Gotcha. Couldn't earn any outside money. So even the social media deals would have to go through them and take their cut, even if I got it directly. And I'm not saying they did this, but I spent three years trying to get a green card and it was really strange how it like never happened. Yet my friend got a green card in six months and she was a makeup artist. Yeah yeah and some of us kind of think that maybe they did it on purpose so I wouldn't have a green card and be able to leave yeah essentially I mean when you hear stories about the industry it doesn't sound overly right because

it's like the lawyer that they use for all the models yeah and it's like oh this is a bit fishy why can't I know anywho I waste a lot of money and it wasn't actually until I moved to Austin I got a new lawyer and I got my green card in like less than a year for, and that was almost a ticket. That was my freedom. That was my ticket. And so in, so a lot of things happen, but in my mind, I'm never doing another deal with another company unless I have ownership and it's really my idea and my company. And so when Aerie cut my contract during COVID, I was pregnant pregnant that's the other thing right I had plans to launch stuff and then I got pregnant and I was like I'm not putting my I'm not starting a business right now yeah while I'm pregnant I don't know how I will react when I'm a

mother what that will look like for me so a lot of things got pushed and put on hold and I had the security of the Aerie deal right but then when COVID happened, they cut everyone's contracts. And then I was like, oh crap. So now I'm living in a different state where I'm not in New York, where I know the industry, where I know I can book jobs. I don't want to go model in New York right now. I want to be at home with my baby. I only have social media to rely on. And how did things change for you when your baby, when Alpha came into the picture? Oh my gosh, everything changed, right? Like I was still wanting to work and be productive, but I was really struggling to like find my sense of self. I feel like everything was just messy and cloudy. I mean, my memory is still not the same. That's for sure.

Preaching to the choir over here, six months in, I'm like, what's my name? Yeah. And you're just so tired. Like a different level of tired. And so, yeah, it was challenging. And I think it's nice that we know we can say that without it seeming ungrateful because of course this is the greatest blessing in the world. And it's so nice to just admit that because women are feeling it, mums are feeling it. And to have someone that you really look up to who is, you know, successful on paper say, I'm freaking tired or my relationship with work's changing, or I don't know who I am. I think amazing. Like why, why not say it? We're so grateful for our babies. Everyone's like, you can do it all, but sometimes you can't. Yes. And also why do we want

to do it all? Exactly. Why do we have to do it all? Yeah, so for me, I knew that I could still earn money from social media, but it was, Aerie dropping me was, it was very emotional. I was very upset because it really came out of nowhere. And at the same time, I was like, COVID, I get it. All these brands are just like scared too.

Totally. But it wasn't handled in the way that I would have liked. I would have loved to have a conversation, a phone call. Yeah. I've been working with you for seven years. You said, you know, I'm the reason Aerie Real even exists. We did this together. And then all of a sudden, it's like, you feel disposable. Totally. And so that's another thing. I was like, I kind of feel disposable. I don't want to just sign on to something that I don't have ownership in. So that was really me going to the drawing board. And really where self-funding came from, just right before Soltaire, it was like, I was lost. I was feeling unproductive. I was like, I need to get myself out of this hole. I need to start planning. And that was where I literally

sat down. I was like, oh, but there isn't a planner that can help me track my self-care, my health and fitness, my finances, all of these different things. I'd have to have like 10 different planners. So I literally sat down and started sketching this planner that I created that helped me really facilitate all the different areas I wanted to focus on in life that was undated because some days or weeks I might not be able to. Skip it and then you're like, oh my God, I just wasted all this paper. And then I got really fascinated in understanding manufacturing. So then it was like, oh, I really want this brand to be sustainable because why not? I'm building it from scratch. Then it was like, okay, I want to source these environmentally friendly inks. I want to make sure the supply

chain is cared for all the way through. And it became fascinating trying to figure that out. And so I feel grateful because then I got the understanding of all the different areas of business, like manufacturing, distribution. Distribution is the biggest headache. But I didn't know that until I did it myself. So I was building self-funding. But at the same time, and again, I like to say yes to everything, I knew that there was another way. I knew there was one way to start a business, which was 100% just on my own without any VC, without any help. And then I was like, but a lot of my friends are building these brands and they're getting capital or they're getting these incubators. And I was like, I've only got one life. This is my time. I don't know how social

media is going to end up. And thank goodness I did start this before, you know, everyone's engagement has died. But I was just like, if I'm going to have the opportunity to meet these people to get in with an incubator, it's like right now. So I got connected via our PR to Ben Bennett, who is the incubator, his brand's called The Center. And they have four brands currently. And we had this call and I was like, my body, I was like, that's always been my brand about accepting your body about making time for self care. I was like, I I was like that's always been my brand about accepting your body about making time for self-care I was like I love body care products but they don't excite me like when I think about PR packages all the makeup brands that are like vibrant and they tell a story and it's so exciting

and the packaging is innovative and it's sustainable and they're doing all these different things and then I was like same with makeup like so exciting they have lots of celebs doing different collabs and I was like body care yeah when I walk down the aisle to pick up my body care I almost don't even look or maybe just look at the price and I'll just grab that again I know it doesn't react badly I was like there's nothing innovative and exciting he goes that's because it's so hard to break into that because of the doves of this world take up all the space and they pay so much to just have the most kind of like visibility and he was like so I don't know he was like I agree there's a white

space but we're going to be going up against these giants well that reminds me of the whole outsider journey you're like right this is my first all right yeah this is not my first rodeo oh this is what I do yeah I like to take the, what is it? The road less traveled? We'll forge the road. We'll do it. And so just meeting him, he's from Ohio. He's Thai. He's gay. It's like same thing. He was an outsider when he grew up and he was like, what inspired me to be a beauty incubator was growing up. I saw my single mom get up every morning and put on her makeup like it was her tribal makeup. Like, this is what makes me feel good. Now I'm ready for the day. And so he saw that and he was like, beauty products can be empowering. They can give people like a unique sense of self and

self-expression and just boost someone's day. I was like, 100%, when I'm putting like my lotions on, when I'm doing things to take care of my body feels really good it feels like I'm giving myself personal time and connection yeah and during postpartum I stopped showering like almost for like I won't say two weeks but it got there was a period where it's like over a week for sure oh yeah and I it was like messy greasy bun robe it was just like I was in these trenches you know and I kept giving this negative affirmation, like I'm a mess. And my friend called me out and she goes, no, your environment is a mess, but you are not a mess. And so that was really helpful.

But Philip sat me down and he was like, you're not okay. And I was like, and he goes, what do you need? And I was like, I just need like five minutes to shower. Actually, I was like, can I just get 15 minutes to just get myself together? If I can like shower, put some clothes on and get ready, I think that would really help me. And so I started implementing this where I passed off my baby, regardless of like, if he was crying or I was just like, Philip can sort this so I can just put myself together ready for the day. And so when I was talking this through with Ben, I was like,

I want a product that excites me. I want a product that makes me escape to a tropical island because I'm just like feeling so down. And so we start concepting fragrance as a story, as a way to uplift people. And fragrance has such an impact on your mood and how you feel. It can literally change your outlook on the day. So we essentially lead into fragrance at a time where everyone was like clean and wanting to like keep, just kind of stay away from fragrance. Yeah. And then we, again, like I'd said, I was working on the self-funding, which was sustainable. I was like, we've got to figure out the sustainable packaging.

Like if we're a brand new brand right now, I feel like there's just no point unless we're in that space doing better than other brands that are currently in that space. So we were researching packaging and I was like, it has to stand out. It has to be bold. I don't want it to be boring. I want it to reflect how people should feel in their body. And it's beautiful at the same time. Yes. So that was another thing I'd felt in the fashion industry. A lot of the times when a brand was super inclusive, it might be beautiful. If it was beautiful, it wouldn't be affordable. Right. You know, or if it was affordable, it was usually just so real that it came across as maybe a little

bit cheap or, you know, it didn't have that. So I was like, we have a chance to create a body care brand that is affordable and it is inclusive and the campaigns and the content and the imagery is beautiful and elevated and people get access to almost like a luxury feeling brand at a more affordable price point. So that's really what we concepted. And then we called it Soltaire because when I was thinking about those moments of pure peace, I said, it's when I have my toes in the sand, when the sun's kissing my skin, when I hear the waves crashing and when I smell the salt air and it's like there's something so invigorating about that moment

and I wish that for every person yeah you can bottle that salt that's literally what we're bottling yeah it's like that feeling and that's what now like the people who are buying our products and telling us that we had a video the other day and this girl was like long story short she's like I know I can't say this has cured my depression, but she said getting in the shower and just smelling like I'm on a tropical island is like saving my mental health right now. I relate. I mean, I definitely relate to the postpartum stuff because I remember I'd just be like, can I just take 15 minutes? Yeah. And I'm going to wash my hair and I'm going to dry it. I'm going to wash my hair and use something that smells good. And I'll feel like I've got my shit together.

Literally. It's like the little things. It's powerful. Oh, I love that so much. And I wish I could talk to you for hours. But now you have also a podcast. Yes. Coupleish, which is freaking amazing.

You signed with Dear Media and you've launched this podcast. Tell me about that as well. You have an empire. You are building an empire. Thank you. I think as I was building these brands, I definitely had less time to connect on social media. I was still posting, but I wasn't really doing that intimate, like talking, sharing, taking time to create content that was really

like helping people in an intimate way. And then as I was stepping away from that to focus on building the brands, social media changed almost overnight. Suddenly people just wanted three to five second videos of me doing a silly dance or whatever it was. And I was like, oh no, I've lost the connection. Where's my community? What is the content I'm doing that feels purposeful? And so a lot of our friends have always told us

that they love advice from me and Philip. Because Philip is one of the only guys who will literally tell you all of like his failures, all of his efforts. He will tell you exactly like what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. And I've been very similar as well. I'm like, yep, this has happened and I've done this. Yeah, you're very honest and open. Yeah. So we were like, this is a a great combo and we genuinely are obsessed with relationships we love watching any show about relationships love is blind yeah big love island fan oh my god huge love right over here and me and philip just love chatting back with oh i can't believe they said that or how would you have said that and i'm like oh i'm watching the relationship

dynamics you're like oh i do that i really shouldn't do that exactly like we love it and we are very willing to also critique ourselves or be like oh but when we have arguments or not even arguments have discussions I'm like babe I can't believe I brought that to you with that tone or energy yeah so I was just feeling stressed and I was like we should just be recording this and Philip like was doing some podcasting already on the side and he was like yeah I'd love to do something with you. And again, it felt like, okay, a lot of the stuff I've always done on social media or even the brands is in the trenches on my own. And I'm like, this would be so fun to build with you and do this together.

So really, that's where it came from. And people are loving it. I'm loving it. It's so good. It's so good. And it's just amazing to watch the path that you forge for yourself and continue to forge. Like, I already know this.

If we listen back to this in five years' time, the things you will have built and evolved are just incredible. I do have a secret. Oh, can we hear it? Yes. Okay, tell me. Soltaire is going to be in Target December 26th. Oh, my God.

Iska, that is huge. Yes. Okay, everyone listening, go and buy because no and really i mean this go and buy it because we need to support female entrepreneurs especially that are in stores because it's freaking hard being in stores stores are hard it's so exciting but it's also like oh crap if it doesn't sell we will get pushed out of the store very quickly i've been there i know the process. And, you know, it's a lot of money up front,

and it's a big risk to get in a store. So if you're listening, please go buy and pick up other people's products that you see on Instagram because it's not just getting on the shelf. It has to sell. It has to sell. So please, like, support women. What happens is if you don't sell, then you get, like, taken off the end cap and put somewhere else where you're even more hidden,

and then you're less likely to succeed so it's definitely scary but yeah I believe I mean our product we almost kind of designed it with Target in mind as like a goal because of the colors and the bright and we just feel like if you're walking down I was like that's really where I was shopping right yeah and I was like oh this isn't very inspiring I was like and then when we were concepting I was like this visually in a Target you can't not see these beautiful alimony bottles so it's gonna be huge and also everyone listening if you go to Target and you don't see it go ask them to get it out the back because I this happens sometimes really yes sometimes they don't we stock in time and you can't buy it so we need to get everyone to buy because it makes a big difference

it does make a difference oh my god I mean everyone listening to this is literally like hey marching orders I'm gonna go do it let's buy it for everyone oh that's incredible that's a huge huge deal yeah I can't wait to see where you're gonna be in a year from now you'll have to come we'll have to do a target shop together done yeah done I would love that well Iskra thank you so much for doing this and thanks for being such an open book it's just so inspiring to listen to your story and hear your journey and be your that reference point for other women they get to see what's possible and I can't wait to see the ripple effect this has I hope everyone knows anything is possible from this like it really is just have that delusional self-belief and keep on chipping away and some days you won't be able to chip anything

some weeks some years some months but like but like you literally can do it. I love it. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for listening. And if you enjoyed this episode on the Boss Babe podcast, then I'd absolutely love it if you leave us a review. As a thank you, we'll send you our Side Hustle Success Kit, your simple, no BS guide to keeping

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