the bossbabe podcast - 299. Accomplish Your Biggest Goals + Build Your Dream With This ONE Strategy

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

If you often find yourself living in the future, chasing your dreams/goals so intently + feeling disappointed along the way when something doesn’t go according to plan, this episode is for you. Today Natalie is sharing a really powerful exercise to help shift your perspective, make your goals more attainable + allow you to experience greater levels of happiness, freedom, and fulfillment along the way. We dive into “destination flexibility” + exactly how to implement it in your daily life and business, so you can show up to the journey of entrepreneurship (and life) with so much energy and excitement for what you’re creating and achieving.  HIGHLIGHTS How to feel happy + fulfilled along your entrepreneurial journey and finally let go of always living in the future Why being flexible actually gives you more options + makes your goals WAY MORE achievable The “small” goals you need to set to generate the biggest wins (+ how to tap into infinite new levels of success!) Why you shouldn’t wait until you have the “perfect” full picture or 5 year plan before you take your first step + get into momentum  LINKS Join Growth Day - GrowthDay.com/bossbabe FOLLOW bossbabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie Ellis: @iamnatalie

a boss babe is unapologetically ambitious and paves the way for herself and other women to rise keep going and fighting on she is on a mission to be her best self in all areas it's just believing in yourself confidently stepping outside her comfort zone to create her own version of success. Welcome back to the Boss Babe podcast. I am back home. We had the best time in Miami. It was easier than I thought to leave Noemi, which might sound awful. I just had in my head that it would be really, really challenging. And it was initially with leaving her. And then as I was there, I just realized how great the break was for me. It was the first time I have been away from her since she was born that long as well. And it was really nice to be able to lie in bed in the morning and,

you know, just go to bed when I want. Like, it was just nice to have that freedom. And when I was coming home, I was like, okay, I miss her like crazy. I don't want to do this again for a long time, but it was great. We had so much fun. But with that, I want to introduce this week's episode. We're doing something a little bit different. So I have so much content. I have like a vault of content. And specifically, I give talks on growth day, which is an amazing platform. If you're interested in joining, I'll put the link in the show notes, but I give talks on Growth Day every couple of months. And so many of them, I feel like could be podcast episodes. And so what we're trying to do is actually just pull really great nuggets from previous content that we can share on the podcast so that instead of listening to the entire thing, you can kind of just get the TLDR and pull out some key themes from it.

So the one thing that I'm talking about in today's episode is what I call destination flexibility. And that's something that has been so critical in my entrepreneurial journey. You might not know what it means yet, but I promise you at the end of this episode, you are going to have a real sense of what it means and how to implement it in your life and business. So you can feel a lot more happy and fulfilled along the way to actually accomplishing your goals. So like I said, this was part of a talk I did for the Growth Day Network. I got so

much feedback from people on how helpful this segment specifically was. And so I'm really excited to share it with you. I'm so excited to be here and I have so much to share. What Mel shared, I think it is probably the best roadmap I've ever seen on how to go from A to B, where you are now to where you want to go. It's so tactical. And I really want to build on that because I really enjoyed seeing the destination painted, but also the process and giving those nitty gritty steps of how to get there. And so I want to share two main things with you today. And we'll go into a lot of detail on them. And I've got a lot of tactical stuff to share about implementing them at the end. But the two things are, and you might want to write this down, destination, flexibility,

and process flexibility. Now, this all has to do with starting your dream, whether that dream is your personal dream, whether it's something you are thinking about with a business you want to start or a business you already have. These two things are incredibly, incredibly important when you're thinking about where you want to go and how you want to get there. So the idea of destination flexibility, let me tell you about why this is really important to me. So a lot of people see Boss Babe. They see millions of followers. They see this brand that's a household name. And people kind of expect that I knew exactly what I was doing when I started this, right? And the truth is, I didn't. I knew where I wanted to go generally.

I knew the kind of people that I wanted to serve. I knew what I wanted to do in the world, but I wasn't fully sure what the vehicle would look like or how it would end up turning out. But one thing about me is I just love taking action. Like I love just rolling my sleeves up and diving in, even if I'm not fully clear on where I'm going. I love just rolling my sleeves up and diving in, even if I'm not fully clear on where I'm going. I love just rolling my sleeves up. And so Boss Babe started as an Instagram account. And a lot of people at the time, and this was in 2014, a lot of people at the time were saying, wait, you wanted this to be a business, but it's an Instagram account.

How are you going to turn that into a business? People at the time hadn't really seen the ability to turn an Instagram account into a real business. They hadn't really seen any of that. Influence in marketing was quite new. And influence... I mean, you're an influencer if you had a couple of thousand followers. Not that that's not a lot, but it's obviously changed significantly.

And so a lot of people didn't see that. But I knew I had a destination in mind and I was really flexible in the process. So one thing that I just prioritized doing was putting one foot in front of the other and kind of tuning into what my skills were and what I could offer. Because my belief is that if we hold on too tight to the ideal outcome, we really block ourselves from it. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity,

which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place, so it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible i definitely recommend kajabi to all of my clients and students so if you're listening and haven't checked out kajabi yet now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering boss babe listeners a 30-day free trial go to kajabi.com

slash boss babe to claim your 30-day free trial that's kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30 day free trial. That's kajabi.com slash boss babe. Right. And so what I mean by that is we're talking about starting a dream, getting to a dream. One thing that I want you to let go of is the idea that your dream is fixed. So the idea that once you hit this goal, you'll instantly be happy forever and nothing ever needs to change, right? Because it's probably not going to happen. You're going to hit that goal. You're going to achieve that dream. And then you're going to be thinking about what are my next goals for maintaining where I'm at, or maybe taking the next step or, you know, doing something else that feels aligned to me in that chapter of my life because dreams are not fixed.

And the best person I think that talks about this is Simon Sinek. He has an amazing book called The Infinite Game. And he talks about infinite and finite games. So finite games are those with a clear end goal and a winner, right? Like a game of soccer. An infinite game is the one with no end goal and no clear winner. And so that applies to business, right? There's not really an end goal and a clear winner when it comes to your business life. This one business you're in, maybe, but not your business life or your career. Getting that, getting that promotion isn't the finite goal because once you get that promotion, you might then decide to hop into another company

or you might look for the next promotion or the goal, if it's to start a family, probably isn't the finite goal because once you have a family, you then want to invest in the family. Like whatever it is, it's not finite. It's infinite, right? So when you get there, it's one goal and you'll probably set another. So knowing that means that you can be

flexible in that destination, right? You can be flexible in where you're going. So if the idea, like Mel was talking about, if the idea of this big dream, this big goal that you have is really overwhelming, I want you to stop holding onto it so tightly and just explore what it might feel like to hold it lightly, right? Now I'm going to encourage you if you're watching this, put your hands out and really hold onto that dream. Like really hold onto it, that big goal that you're wanting to achieve, like really hold onto it. And once you're holding it, I want you to feel the energy. There's a lot of energy in that dream for you and that goal for you. There's a lot there. What would happen if you start to loosen your grip a little bit? If you took a breath

and loosened your grip, the dream hasn't gone anywhere. It's still there, but it feels a lot more achievable, right? Who's feeling that? I can see a bunch of you. And so what I want to show you through this is if that goal that you're working towards and you're gripping so tightly feels so scary and unachievable, be willing to let go of the grip a little bit and to think about, you know, a goal that might be a little bit closer to you, a goal that might be a little bit more achievable. If you've been thinking about, you know, if you're a manager and

you've got your eyes set on the CEO role, maybe loosen it up a little bit and think, you know what? Well, my actual next goal is this role because I'm playing an infinite game. And I know once I get there, I'm going to hop to the next one. And once I get there, I'm going to hop to the next one, right? We often think about manifestation and goal setting as we need to have the absolute clearest picture of our North Star and where we're going, which is just not the case because you and I both know that when you get there, you're going to keep pushing. So I want you to just hold it very, very lightly. And so when we are, you know, working through frameworks and we're thinking about where we're going, be willing to

identify what you might be holding onto too tightly and make sure that with this goal, you've got top of mind that you're holding onto, you're not putting all of your eggs in there, all of your happiness, all of your joy, all of your presence. Because if we're just tightly holding onto this thing and kind of willing ourselves there, we kind of forget about where we're at right now. It's like Mel was talking about, and we can forget about the presence. We can forget about happiness. We can just get so caught up in next, next, next, and more, more, more so tightly gripping to what this dream is that we really don't take a second to stop, lighten the grip, breathe, and think about being happy right now, being happy without the big destination,

without the big goal, without the big goal, without the big dream achieved. And so that's why I really, really want to emphasize destination flexibility. And if you can be willing to be flexible on exactly what that destination is, it's going to feel a lot more achievable.