the bossbabe podcast - 305. How To Be Your Most Confident Self + Release Your Fears

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Are you subconsciously sabotaging your success? It’s often our limiting beliefs that are the things that hold us back from hitting our next level of results + freedom in business. But guess what – your next level of confidence, joy, freedom, and results are all on the other side of your fears… which is why in today’s episode we are busting through those upper limits + talking about how to get clear on the subconscious beliefs that could be holding you back from reaching your goals and exactly what to do about it. HIGHLIGHTS Identify the subconscious fears + limiting beliefs that are sabotaging your success with one simple exercise How to increase your confidence + feel more capable during the journey of entrepreneurship (and along the way to reaching any of your goals!) Why overcoming your limiting beliefs will make you more money Ways to build momentum + rewire your mindset to create consistent success that lasts LINKS Join Growth Day - GrowthDay.com/bossbabe  FOLLOW bossbabe: @bossbabe.inc Natalie Ellis: @iamnatalie

Welcome back to the Boss Babe podcast. Today's episode is a must listen to. You can't miss this one. We are diving into how our fears can hold us back and to be honest, even sabotage our progress at times. And I think this is something that every single one of us has dealt with at some point in our lives and careers. I know it's not just me. And so today I want to share with you more on this topic so you can move forward feeling more confident, capable, and more importantly, courageous as a business owner, because that is going to be what's getting you to hitting your goals. You really need to have that persistence and belief in yourself. I don't want those fears continuing to hold you back from accomplishing

the things that really matter most to you. So today we are diving in deep. This is from a recent talk I did with Growth Day and it resonated a lot with everyone that was on there live with me and so I wanted to bring it in here too and I hope it really, really supports you. So let's dive straight in. This is so normal, but it is called hitting up against your upper limit. And so what you're doing is unconsciously self-sabotaging yourself so that you're pulling yourself back to what your subconscious deems as a normal comfort zone, right? It's a normal comfort zone. And so there's a few ways that you can think about taking the steps to get past your upper limits. The first thing is having an awareness around them, right? And so you can do this in a couple of different ways. I actually would encourage you right after this call is to go in the growth day journal, pull up the journal,

put your phone on silent, close your office door and write out what your dream is, where you want to go, what that destination is, write it out. I want to hit million followers on Instagram. I want to hit 10,000 followers on Instagram. I want the promotion of X at work. Write out what it is. Just in one sentence, make that statement. And then I want you to get comfortable, move around, take a deep breath in, and start to write, the thing that's going to hold me back from this is. The thing I fear will happen when I hit this is. And I want you to sit and just flow off all of the things that come to mind about what's going to hold you back, why you're not the one that deserves this, and what you fear is going to happen when you hit this goal. And I've worked

with a lot of people around this topic. And there's one client in particular, I remember, who had this financial goal. And we were working on all the tactics, all the nitty-gritty, all the things that we love to do. And she just wasn't hitting the goal. And I couldn't understand it because I was giving her all the things I know she needed to implement. And she finally opened up and she was like, you know, I am implementing most of them. And then we got into a conversation, realized she was implementing some things. She was doing it not to the best of her ability. And she was kind of saying she was, but she wasn't. And so consciously she wanted to get there. She had this goal in mind and she was putting in action. Unconsciously, she had a foot on the brake that was kind of making sure she wasn't doing

it to the best of her ability. She wasn't really doing it in a time that she should have been doing it in. And she wasn't really doing it the way in which she knew it needed to be done. And that was the foot on the brake. And we kind of examined, okay, you told me that you wanted to hit this financial goal. You told me this was important to hit this financial goal. You told me this was important to you. What are you so scared is going to happen when you hit that goal? And the story she told me was about when she was growing up, you know, that always had enough

money, but nothing crazy. And her dad ended up getting an amazing promotion and they came into more money than they'd ever had in the past. And ultimately, not because of this, but him, my mom and dad ended up getting divorced not that long after the promotion. And she kind of associated that promotion, that more money with divorce. And she'd been telling herself this story this entire time. And that was not the limit she had

because she felt like if she moved to the next financial level beyond, you know, I'm comfortable right now. She thought that if she moved to that next financial level, she was going to lose her marriage. And that's not something you generally think about when you're thinking about that destination, when you're thinking about that dream, when you think about where you want to go, we're not necessarily thinking about, well, what am I afraid is going to happen when I hit that? We're mainly thinking about how is my life going to change when I hit that? We're mainly thinking about how is my life going to change when I hit that? What are all the things that I'm going to be able to do

when I hit that financial goal? What's going to be different for me? That's what we think about. And often what we need to think about is what am I fearing is going to happen and having an awareness around it. And I'm telling you just by journaling on this, and I really would encourage you to do this in your journals after, just by journaling on it and bringing an awareness to it, you're able to bring a perspective that you wouldn't have had before. Cause you'll probably see your fear written down and you could give yourself and maybe write this down. You could give yourself three reasons why that story is not correct. Why that story is never going to happen. And if it's losing marriage, it might be like, because I'm invested in my marriage and I'm

going to do what it takes because me and my husband are bought into this school together. And because my professional success doesn't need to impact my personal life. You can tell yourself all of these things, but until you get quiet and until you sit with what that upper limit is, we'll keep telling ourselves you don't have one. Natalie, you're crazy. I don't have an upper limit about being a millionaire. Trust me. Give me the check. I'm good, right? That's what you might be thinking, but I really encourage you to sit with that. Let's take a quick pause to talk about my new favorite all-in-one platform, Kajabi. You know I've been singing their praises lately because they have helped our business run so much smoother and with way less complexity, which I love. Not to mention our team couldn't be happier because now everything is in one place.

So it makes collecting data, creating pages, collecting payment, all the things so much simpler. One of our mottos at Boss Babe is simplify to amplify and Kajabi has really helped us do that this year. So of course I needed to share it here with you. It's the perfect time of year to do a bit of spring cleaning in your business, you know, get rid of the complexity and instead really focus on getting organized and making things as smooth as possible. I definitely recommend Kajabi to all of my clients and students. So if you're listening and haven't checked out Kajabi yet, now is the perfect time to do so because they are offering Boss Babe listeners a 30-day free trial. Go to kajabi.com slash boss babe to claim your 30-day

free trial. That's kajabi.com slash boss babe. So after this, pull up a journal and just think about and write about what's going to happen. And if nothing comes out, just write anyway, right? Nothing's coming out. I'm not really sure what I'm fearful. I mean, I guess this might happen. I guess just writing like Mel was talking about generally, it's really, really powerful. And so put something down and give yourself long enough to sit with it. Give yourself long enough to sit with it that it feels a bit uncomfortable. And that's where your upper limit will be. All right. So I just want to recap on the things that I've shared with you because I know we've talked about quite a few things. So the first thing when we're thinking about getting from A to B, we're thinking about the destination

and we're thinking about the process of how we're going to get there. And what I really want to encourage you to do is have the destination in mind, but hold it more lightly, right? Have the destination in mind, but hold it more lightly. And then with the process, be willing to be open to that process looking a little bit different to what you thought it should look like. Because no matter how great we are, we aren't fortune tellers. And we don't know exactly how something's going to play out. We don't know exactly how the road is going to look when we're going there. We don't know exactly what that looks like. And the more you loosen your grip on that and be willing to be flexible, the more you're going to enjoy the process and the more likely you are to actually get there. Another thing that I want you to think about is just

acknowledging where you're at in your process and the thing that might hold you back at each time. So if you're in the skill up process, I want you to remember the bare minimum. If you're in the startup phase, I want you to remember not to get distracted and to focus on the needle movers. And if you're in the scale up phase, I want you to simplify to amplify, not burn everything down and be willing to go the distance.

And then finally, as you're thinking about, okay, I'm going from A to B flexibly. I know exactly where I'm at. I know what I need to do between what Mel talked about and what I talked about. I'm clear. I want you to examine your upper limits. So I really, really want you to make a commitment to yourself and maybe you can put it in the chat too. I want you to make

a commitment to yourself that you're going to pull up a journal, ideally after this call, but if you can't do it after this call tonight or tomorrow, when it's fresh in your mind, I want you to pull up a journal and I want you to explore your upper limits. And I want you to know that this is going to be something that comes up with this dream that you hit. And like we talked about, this is an infinite game. There's going to be a goal and another goal and a dream and another dream at every single one in this infinite game, there is going to be another upper limit. I'm going through upper limits constantly. In fact, I'm going through one right now and it's mentors like Brendan,

who is helping me to rethink what that could look like for me and is helping me to really let go of those limits that I'm putting on myself. No one else is putting them on me so that I can get where I want to go. Because if you get in the car, okay, Natalie, I've got the destination, put the destination in, click. Okay, great. The roots come up. I've got the process. Okay. I'm ready to go. Put our hands in the steering wheel, put the foot on the gas. And then all of a sudden the foot's back on the brake, right? If that's what you're doing, you're really going to struggle to get there. And so all I'm talking about is bringing that unconscious into conscious, telling yourself why it might not necessarily be true and just be willing to look at

it. All right. So I really, really hope that was helpful. I love working on processes, goals, upper limiting, all of the things. So please put in the chat if you are going to go action that in your journal right after, and feel free to share on Instagram because I know me, Brendan, the whole team could love to see what your upper limits were Instagram because I know me, Brendan, the whole team could love to see what your upper limits were and what you examined. And Brendan, thank you so much for having me.